Podcasts by Category
- 640 - Episodes We Love: 'Head Or The Heart' UpdateThis episode was originally published on August 12th, 2016. The Sugars hear the latest from "Head or the Heart" -- a woman who'd fallen head over heels for a man with a troubled childhood. Everything seemed perfect, and yet, she couldn't help but wonder if the traumas of her love's past would surface at some point in their relationship. "Head or the Heart" became the first letter-writer ever to join the Sugars on the show. The Sugars asked her to write to them in six months to let them know how -- and if -- things were going with her boyfriend. Nine months letter, she sent an update. So, are they still together? Have any of his past traumas manifested in their relationship? The Sugars find out.Sat, 13 Apr 2024 - 33min
- 639 - Redux: Body Weight and RomanceThis episode was originally released on August 19, 2017. It’s never easy to talk to our romantic partners about their bodies, especially when it’s about weight. The Sugars, along with writer Ashley C. Ford, answer letters from people questioning their relationships because of major changes in their partners’ bodies.Sat, 30 Mar 2024 - 34min
- 638 - Dear Sugars Presents: "Beyond All Repair", a new murder mystery podcast
Introducing Beyond All Repair,a new WBUR podcast from producer emeritus of Dear Sugars,Amory Sivertson. This series tells the story of a murder, but also the woman who was accused of that murder, Sophia. Sophia was newly married and 6 months pregnant when she was charged with murdering her mother-in-law in 2002. She gave birth to a son in jail that she hasn’t seen since, and for the last three years, she’s been telling me her story in hopes of getting justice for her mother-in-law, of having a chance of meeting her son, and of finally being believed. This is the first chapter of Beyond All Repair.Episode 2 is already waiting for you. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
Sat, 09 Mar 2024 - 25min - 637 - Archive: When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It'
Our loved ones are the people who are supposed to understand us. But what if they just...can't? Where do we turn then, and how do we fight the feelings of resentment that this lack of understanding can stir up? This episode was originally released November 11th, 2016.
Sat, 17 Feb 2024 - 31min - 636 - (Encore) Rapid Fire: Friendship, Part 2 - Male-Female Friendships
The Sugars' conversation on friendship continues with a handful of letters concerning male-female friendships. Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship between a heterosexual man and woman? Can male-female friendships be as emotionally satisfying as same-gender relationships? What do you do when a friend crosses a romantic line? The Sugars discuss it all in rapid-fire fashion.
Sat, 27 Jan 2024 - 31min - 635 - (Redux) Rapid Fire: Friendship, Part 1 - FAQs
Everyone has had a friendship quandary of some sort in the past, right? This week, the Sugars take on frequently asked questions in "rapid fire" fashion – from hating your best friend's significant other, to hating her politics.
Sat, 13 Jan 2024 - 41min - 634 - Redux: The Stepchild's Dilemma
Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents. What is a stepparent’s responsibility to a stepchild after divorce? And what can be done if you don’t like the person your parent chooses to marry? This episode was originally released on April 28th, 2018.
Sat, 30 Dec 2023 - 45min - 633 - Encore: Buyer's Remorse
Buzz Bissinger owns more than 100 pairs of leather pants and over 200 pairs of leather gloves, having spent more than $600,000 on leather goods in the span of three years. Mr. Bissinger has a spending addiction, and he joins the Sugars to offer guidance to a letter-writer whose therapist and family don’t take her spending seriously. This episode was originally published on April 14th, 2018.
Sat, 16 Dec 2023 - 24min - 632 - Redux: Love In Doubt
How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So this week, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally published on January 5th, 2017.
Sat, 25 Nov 2023 - 41min - 631 - Redux: The Ugly Truth
Most of us have days when we don’t feel attractive. But in this episode, the Sugars read letters from people whose faces are at odds with conventional ideas of beauty. Writer Ariel Henley joins to talk about her own facial differences. Henley was born with Crouzon Syndrome, and underwent dozens of surgeries that changed the shape of her face.
Wed, 08 Nov 2023 - 34min - 630 - Redux: Talking About Privilege
Privilege comes in many forms: socio-economic privilege, gender privilege, heterosexual privilege, to name a few. In this episode, the Sugars reply to two letter writers who are facing different forms of privilege. They discuss with Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice. This episode was originally published on August 11th, 2018.
Sat, 21 Oct 2023 - 51min - 629 - Encore: Cutting The Financial Cord
At age 18, we are granted the rights and responsibilities of adulthood in the eyes of the law. But for parents of young adults, it’s not so clear cut. When is the right time to wean your children off the family payroll? The Sugars tackle this question with the help of Dr. Kate Gale. This episode was originally released on December 23rd, 2017.
Sat, 07 Oct 2023 - 30min - 628 - Introducing ‘The Gun Machine’, a podcast about how America was forged by the gun industry
Produced by WBUR, Boston’s NPR, in partnership with The Trace, The Gun Machine looks into the past to bring you a story that most Americans never learned in history class: how early partnerships between mad scientist gunsmiths and a fledgling U.S. government created the gun industry in the Northeast, and how that industry has been partners with the government ever since. Host Alain Stephens examines how this 250-year relationship underpins all Americans’ interactions with guns — including our failures in dealing with the fallout of gun violence. The Gun Machine episodes drop every Wednesday, starting Oct. 4, 2023. Listen and follow on Apple, Spotify, Amazon Music and wherever you get your podcasts. https://link.chtbl.com/thegunmachine
Fri, 06 Oct 2023 - 03min - 627 - Redux: A Spy In The House Of Love
Snooping on your spouse is generally ill-advised, but what if he or she has an addiction and is constantly lying about it? The Sugars and writer Ariel Levy answer this question in this episode, originally released on December 2, 2017.
Sat, 23 Sep 2023 - 33min - 626 - Redux: The Empty Chair, Part 2
This is part two of the series on early childhood death. The Sugars read letters from parents who worry that their grief may overshadow their surviving children. They are joined by the writer Emily Rapp Black, who decided to have another child after learning that her son had a fatal congenital disorder.
Sat, 09 Sep 2023 - 33min - 625 - Redux: Trust Your Body
Her grandmother always introduced her as the “chubby one.” Now, she vacillates between moderation and binge-eating. “It’s only when my pants are nearly impossible to button that I force myself to lose weight,” writes the letter-writer who calls herself Body Negative. “And then the pattern starts all over again.” The Sugars discuss and share their own struggles with body image.
Fri, 25 Aug 2023 - 41min - 624 - Episodes We Love: The Power Of No, Part 2: Oprah Winfrey
"What do I want?" This is the question Oprah Winfrey finally asked herself, after years of struggling to say "no" to people in her life. In the second of this two-part series, the Sugars continue their conversation with Oprah Winfrey on when, why and how to say "no."
Sat, 12 Aug 2023 - 25min - 623 - Redux: The Other Half of Sexless Relationships
In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from letter writers who want to have sex less frequently than their partners do.
Sat, 29 Jul 2023 - 24min - 622 - Encore: The Empty Chair, Part 1
In the Empty Chair series, the Sugars discuss early childhood death, an absence that can be ever-present. In Part 1, they read letters from siblings who live in the the shadow of their parents’ grief. This episode was originally released on November 4th, 2017.
Sat, 15 Jul 2023 - 33min - 621 - Encore: What About The Stepchildren?
When the Sugars answered a letter from a woman who felt trapped in the role of "wicked stepmother," dozens of listeners wrote in asking the same question: what about the stepchildren, who have no control over the restructuring of their family? This episode, the Sugars respond with an episode devoted to the other side of the story.
Sat, 01 Jul 2023 - 40min - 620 - Encore: I Divorced My Spouse, And My Child Divorced Me
Divorce is always a painful process, but it's especially so when there are children in the middle. In this favorite episode from the archives, the Sugars discuss situations of parental alienation caused by divorce. They answer letters from a mother and a father whose daughters have cut off all communication with them after taking the other parent's side. This episode was originally released October 14th, 2016.
Sat, 17 Jun 2023 - 31min - 619 - Dear Sugars introduces Love Letters
Dear Sugars fans: We wanted to share with you an episode from Love Letters, hosted by Boston Globe advice columnist Meredith Goldstein, that we think you'll enjoy.
Sat, 10 Jun 2023 - 37min - 618 - Encore: The Power of No, Part 1
There’s incredible power in saying “yes.” It opens up avenues and allows us to be brave. In Cheryl's case, it’s what led to her becoming Sugar. But saying yes to life's opportunities can also have its risks. In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars are joined by Oprah Winfrey to discuss when to say no, how to say no, and what happens in the wake of that. This episode was originally released July 15th, 2017.
Sat, 03 Jun 2023 - 35min - 617 - Encore: In the Shadow of Damaged Parents
A damaged parent can cast a dark shadow over our lives, especially when we inherit some of that damage. In this favorite episode from the archives, Steve’s father, the psychoanalyst Dr. Richard Almond, joins the Sugars to answer letters and offer a way out.
Sat, 20 May 2023 - 33min - 616 - Encore: The Price Of Our Dreams
In this favorite episode from the archives, the Sugars, along with fiction writer George Saunders, field letters from people who are chasing their creative dreams but frightened by the practical and financial risks that come with that pursuit. This episode was originally released on August 5th, 2017.
Sat, 06 May 2023 - 34min - 615 - Encore: Sexual Fluidity
"Whatever" -- that's how the actress Maria Bello describes her sexual orientation. Her "love who you love" attitude toward sexuality, regardless of gender, is often referred to as fluidity. In this favorite episode from the archives, Maria joins the Sugars to discuss a couple of letters having to do with the confusion and complications that can accompany a shift in one's sexual preferences and partnerships. This episode was originally published on March 3rd, 2017.
Tue, 25 Apr 2023 - 42min - 614 - Encore: When Your Loved Ones Just Don't 'Get It'
Our loved ones are the people who are supposed to understand us. But what if they just...can't? Where do we turn then, and how do we fight the feelings of resentment that this lack of understanding can stir up? This episode was originally released November 11th, 2016.
Sat, 08 Apr 2023 - 32min - 613 - Encore: Career Vs. Love
You love your partner, you love your career... but they're pulling you in different directions. What do you do? In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars have help from psychotherapist and sociologist Leslie Bell, author of Hard to Get: 20-Something Women and the Paradox of Sexual Freedom. This episode was originally released on April 13th, 2017.
Fri, 24 Mar 2023 - 33min - 612 - Dear Sugars introduces Violation, a new podcast about who pulls the levers of power in the justice system
Dear Sugars fans: We wanted to share with you a new podcast we're working on at WBUR. Violation tells the story of two families bound together by an unthinkable crime. It explores America's opaque parole system and asks: How much time in prison is enough? Who gets to decide? And, when someone commits a terrible crime, what does redemption look like? Listen to the trailer and if you like what you hear, head over to the Violation feed wherever you get your podcasts and hit subscribe so you'll get new episodes when they drop, beginning March 22.
Wed, 15 Mar 2023 - 03min - 611 - Encore: Baby or Bust
You wants kids; your partner doesn't. Or your partner wants kids, and you don't. Whatever the scenario, few subjects are as emotionally charged and potentially deal-breaking in a relationship as a disagreement over the decision to become parents. In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars take on this tricky topic with the help of the writer Danielle Herzog, who's written in the past about ending her own marriage to become a mother. This episode was originally published on March 22nd, 2017.
Sat, 11 Mar 2023 - 35min - 610 - Encore: Emotional Labor
Remembering the grocery list, coordinating with the babysitter, scheduling a get-together with the in-laws: These are some of the invisible tasks that (most) women exclusively do in their romantic relationships — and the list goes on and on. In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars commiserate with Gemma Hartley, the writer who set off a national conversation about emotional labor with her viral article in Harper’s Bazaar, “Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up.”
Sat, 25 Feb 2023 - 44min - 609 - Encore: May-December Romances
In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars discuss relationships with big age gaps, so-called "May-December" romances with the help of Lucinda Franks, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author of the memoir Timeless: Love, Morgenthau, and Me, which tells the story of her marriage to New York District Attorney Robert Morgenthau, who's 27 years her senior. This episode was originally released October 20th, 2016.
Sat, 11 Feb 2023 - 29min - 608 - Encore: Should I Stay Or Go?
In this favorite episode from the archives, The Sugars bring you another "Rapid Fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters that are all centered around a theme. The theme for this episode is "stay or go" -- people who have a voice in their head telling them to leave their relationship, but who aren't sure it's the right move. This episode was originally released on September 9, 2016.
Sat, 28 Jan 2023 - 34min - 607 - Encore: How Do I Find The Courage To Be My Own Guide?
The Sugars often discuss letters dealing with very specific problems or struggles. In this encore episode, they take on a broader, more existential question: how to follow your heart. The Sugars discuss with the GRAMMY-winning singer/songwriter India Arie, who shares how she learned to be her own guide. This episode was originally released September 23rd, 2016.
Sat, 31 Dec 2022 - 26min - 606 - Encore: Pet Dilemmas
This encore episode is all about adventures in animal ownership! The Sugars, along with Julie Barton — author of the memoir "Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself" — answer letters about pet dilemmas and the ways these creatures affect human relationships. This episode was originally published on August 26th, 2017.
Sat, 17 Dec 2022 - 46min - 605 - Encore: I'm A Transgender Man, Seeking Acceptance
The Sugars read the letters of two transgender men who are struggling to find love and acceptance. They discuss with Cooper Lee Bombardier, a visual artist, writer and transgender man. This episode was originally aired on September 2, 2016.
Sat, 03 Dec 2022 - 38min - 604 - Encore: Who's Your Daddy?
When Steve Lickteig turned 18, he learned that his mother and father, who he thought were his adoptive parents, are in fact his biological grandparents. With the advent of affordable DNA testing and companies like 23andMe, more and more people are having revelations like Mr. Lickteig’s. For some, these revelations can be a welcome and exciting discovery process. For others, they’re shocking and unwanted. In today’s episode, Mr. Lickteig shares his story and helps the Sugars advise letter writers who are still reeling from their genetic discoveries. This episode was originally aired on June 16, 2018.
Sat, 19 Nov 2022 - 40min - 603 - Encore: I'm In Love With My Abuser
For the first time on the podcast, the Sugars answer a voice mail message from the Dear Sugars hotline. The message comes from a woman who reunited with her ex-boyfriend, who once assaulted her. Wracked with shame, she wonders if reconciling with him is acceptable and if it’s possible he’ll change. Esta Soler, president and founder of Futures Without Violence, joins the Sugars to help answer the question: Is it O.K. to love someone who abused you? This episode was originally released on April 21, 2018.
Thu, 03 Nov 2022 - 26min - 602 - Encore: Moving On, Part 2
In this second part of our series on moving on, the Sugars discuss how we can release ourselves from our past mistakes. Dr. Harriet Lerner drops in to answer a letter from a woman who calls herself a "serial codependent," as well as a woman who is haunted by her abortion. This episode was originally published on August 25th, 2018.
Sat, 22 Oct 2022 - 43min - 601 - Encore: Moving On, Part 1
The Sugars have been thinking about what it means to say goodbye and let go. In this first episode of their two-part series on moving on, the Sugars and Claire Bidwell Smith answer two letters from people struggling to move past their grief after the death of their loved ones. This episode was originally released on August 18th, 2018.
Sat, 08 Oct 2022 - 46min - 600 - Encore: Emotional Abuse
Reema Zaman, our guest in this week’s episode, was in an emotionally abusive marriage. Although her husband’s abuses never left any physical mark, it took her years to repair the damage he inflicted upon her. Ms. Zaman describes some of the telltale signs of an emotionally abusive relationship and helps the Sugars answer two painful letters from women who are struggling to disentangle themselves from their abusive partners. This episode was originally aired on August 4th, 2018.
Sat, 24 Sep 2022 - 48min - 599 - Encore: The Great Reckoning
Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another epic live show. Special guests Mitchell S. Jackson and Rebecca Skloot share the stage with the Sugars to tell stories of personal reckoning and answer letters from the audience. This episode was originally published on July 28th, 2018.
Sat, 10 Sep 2022 - 51min - 598 - Encore: Haunted by Ghosting
The term "ghosting" may be relatively new, but the concept -- someone suddenly and inexplicably disappearing from your life -- is not. In the past, a total halt to communication with a friend might leave you feeling concerned that something bad happened to him/her. But in a time where our devices have made us more accessible than ever, it can leave the person who's been ghosted feeling rejected or unworthy. This episode was originally published on March 16th, 2017.
Mon, 29 Aug 2022 - 36min - 597 - Encore: Do I Follow My Head or My Heart?
The Sugars get a letter from a young woman who has fallen head over heels in love. She and her boyfriend only met a month ago, but are already in deep. Everything seems perfect, and yet the letter writer can't help but wonder if the traumas of her new love's past are hiding somewhere under the surface, threatening to resurface. This episode originally aired Nov. 6, 2015.
Sat, 13 Aug 2022 - 25min - 596 - Encore: Location, Location, Location
Location, location, location. It makes all the difference in real estate, and it can make all the difference to one's happiness. But finding a place that really feels like home can be tricky.
Fri, 29 Jul 2022 - 35min - 595 - Encore: Rapid Fire Letters
In a heated moment, a mother reveals a dark chapter from her childhood to her daughter, then immediately regrets it. What now? In this week’s episode, the Sugars tackle this and several other questions, including how to handle a brother-in-law who treats your vacation as his own free childcare; what to do when your best friend’s husband asks you to lie; and why we sometimes recoil at very public displays of grief. This episode was originally released July 29th, 2017.
Fri, 15 Jul 2022 - 32min - 594 - Encore: Talking About Privilege
Privilege comes in many forms: socio-economic privilege, gender privilege, heterosexual privilege, to name a few. In this episode, the Sugars reply to two letter writers who are facing different forms of privilege. They discuss with Catrice M. Jackson, a leading voice for racial justice. This episode was originally published on August 11th, 2018.
Sat, 02 Jul 2022 - 51min - 593 - Encore: Sex & Aging
The erotic lives of senior citizens are typically made invisible by our culture, which can lead to confusion and misinformation. Dr. Pepper Schwartz, the love and relationship columnist for AARP, joins the Sugars to dispel certain myths about sex and aging: Do libidos change after menopause? How does the aging body affect the way we feel about sex? Should medical interventions be considered for a declining sex drive? This episode was originally released on May 25, 2018.
Sat, 18 Jun 2022 - 36min - 592 - Encore: The Stepchild's Dilemma
Whether you’re 5, 15, or 50 years old, it can be difficult to usher a stepparent in and out of the family unit. In today’s episode, the Sugars answer letters from stepchildren who have fraught relationships with their stepparents. What is a stepparent’s responsibility to a stepchild after divorce? And what can be done if you don’t like the person your parent chooses to marry? This episode was originally released on April 28th, 2018.
Sat, 04 Jun 2022 - 45min - 591 - Encore: The Empty Chair, Part 2
The Sugars conclude a two-part series on early childhood death. In Part 2, they read letters from parents who worry that their grief may overshadow their surviving children. They are joined by the writer Emily Rapp Black, who decided to have another child after learning that her son had a fatal congenital disorder. This episode was originally released on November 11th, 2017.
Sat, 21 May 2022 - 33min - 590 - Encore: The Empty Chair, Part 1
In the Empty Chair series, the Sugars discuss early childhood death, an absence that can be ever-present. In Part 1, they read letters from siblings who live in the the shadow of their parents’ grief. This episode was originally released on November 4th, 2017.
Sat, 07 May 2022 - 33min - 589 - Encore: Just Say It
Words can be wielded like weapons. On today’s episode, the Sugars hear from people who have something to confess but are afraid to hurt others with the power of their words. This episode was originally released on December 9th, 2017.
Fri, 22 Apr 2022 - 28min - 588 - Encore: Love in Doubt
How many times have you heard this: "I love him, we're great together, but..."? There's always room for doubt, even in the happiest of relationships. So this week, the Sugars take on some of those doubts in rapid-fire fashion. This episode was originally published on January 5th, 2017.
Sat, 09 Apr 2022 - 41min - 587 - Encore: Body Weight and Romance — with Ashley C. Ford
It’s never easy to talk to our romantic partners about their bodies, especially when it’s about weight. The Sugars, along with writer Ashley C. Ford, answer letters from people questioning their relationships because of major changes in their partners’ bodies.
Sat, 26 Mar 2022 - 34min - 586 - Encore: Rapid Fire: Love & Money
When it comes to love, money is supposed to be no object. But there’s no disentangling love from anything in our lives, and income is no exception. So how do you assess the role money should play in a relationship, and what happens when your desires and means change over time? The Sugars take on 5 letters in this rapid-fire episode.
Sat, 12 Mar 2022 - 44min - 585 - Encore: Dark Fantasies, Part 2
In part two of our Dark Fantasies series, Dr. Ian Kerner returns to help the Sugars answer questions about where our central ideas about sex and eroticism come from, and delve deeper into the world of sexual fantasy. This episode was originally released on January 20, 2018.
Sat, 26 Feb 2022 - 28min - 584 - Encore: Dark Fantasies, Part 1
Orgies. Sex in public. Incest. These are the things that some of us think about in the dark. Taboo fantasies can be exciting, but they can also be the source of our deepest shame. In this two-part series on sexual fantasies, the Sugars read letters from people who want to turn off the thoughts that turn them on. This episode was originally released on January 13, 2018.
Sat, 12 Feb 2022 - 32min - 583 - Encore: The Ugly Truth
Most of us have days when we don’t feel attractive. But in this episode, the Sugars read letters from people whose faces are at odds with conventional ideas of beauty. Writer Ariel Henley joins to talk about her own facial differences. Henley was born with Crouzon Syndrome, and underwent dozens of surgeries that changed the shape of her face.
Thu, 27 Jan 2022 - 34min - 582 - Encore: Rapid Fire: Make the Call
In this encore "rapid fire" episode, the Sugars give brief answers to a handful of letters. This time, they challenge each other to make the call -- one way or the other -- on the questions they're discussing, rather than offer open-ended guidance.
Fri, 14 Jan 2022 - 39min - 581 - Encore: A Spy In The House Of Love — With Ariel Levy
Snooping on your spouse is generally ill-advised, but what if he or she has an addiction and is constantly lying about it? The Sugars and writer Ariel Levy answer this question in this episode, originally released on December 2, 2017.
Tue, 21 Dec 2021 - 33min - 580 - Encore: There's Just One Thing
In this "rapid fire" episode, the Sugars read letters from four women who each have one not-so-tiny reservation about the men they’re dating. A Black woman is dating a white man who is unwilling to talk about race issues, claiming that she’s “too sensitive.” Another woman’s boyfriend, a Christian, is having second thoughts about dating her because she’s an atheist. The Sugars tackle these issues and more, and weigh in on which can be ironed out and which should be deal breakers.
Fri, 17 Dec 2021 - 40min - 579 - Encore: Sexless Relationships, Part 2
The Sugars are joined by the therapist Esther Perel to discuss a letter from a husband who is in a sexless marriage and is looking for a way to help his wife heal from trauma.
Fri, 03 Dec 2021 - 26min - 578 - Dear Sugars Presents: Woman Yelling at a Cat
This week, we're sharing an episode of another WBUR podcast, Endless Thread.The show is in the middle of a series all about internet memes, and they recently featured the woman at the center of the popular "Woman Yelling at a Cat" meme, Taylor Armstrong from the original cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. The story behind the image featured in this meme is surprising and painful, so please take care when listening.
Fri, 19 Nov 2021 - 42min - 577 - Encore: Sexless Relationships, Part 1
A sexless relationship is often a symptom of deeper dysfunction. The Sugars, along with couples therapist Esther Perel, advise a letter writer whose loving partner is erotically absent. This episode was originally released on September 9th, 2017.
Fri, 05 Nov 2021 - 32min - 576 - Encore: A Night of Bad Stories
Dear Sugars returns to Portland, Oregon, for another raucous and uplifting live show. The Sugars get a surprising update from a letter writer from their past; discuss a new letter with a special guest, Omar El Akkad; and ask the audience, “What’s the ‘bad story’ you tell yourself?” “Bad Stories,” the title of Steve Almond’s new book, are the false narratives we tell ourselves that undermine our happiness. “You’ve got to revise those narratives,” encourages Cheryl Strayed. “You have the capacity for change and transformation.” This episode was originally published on April 12th, 2018.
Fri, 05 Nov 2021 - 41min - 575 - Encore: The Other Half of Sexless Relationships
The Dear Sugars inbox was flooded with responses to the two-part episode “Sexless Relationships” with Esther Perel. In those episodes, the Sugars answered letters from people who were longing for sexual intimacy with their partners. But many readers asked why we didn’t address the other side of sexless relationships: the people who want less sex than their partners. This episode was originally released on October 28th, 2017.
Fri, 08 Oct 2021 - 24min - 574 - Encore: Should I Intervene?
When we decide to meddle, it can often backfire. The Sugars, along with the writer Meghan Daum, answer letters from people who see loved ones heading down the wrong path, but worry intervention might be the wrong move. This episode was originally released on August 12th, 2017.
Fri, 24 Sep 2021 - 41min - 573 - Encore: Rage Is A Red Lesson
Shortly after the birth of her first child, a letter-writer who calls herself “Tantrum Daughter” lost her mother to suicide. Now, with a second child on the way, Tantrum Daughter is overcome with pain and anger. After reading Morgan Jerkins’s essay “How I Overcame My Anger as a Black Writer... Content warning: episode mentions suicide. This episode was originally released on May 12th, 2018
Fri, 10 Sep 2021 - 40min - 572 - Consent, Part 2: Stuck In The Gray
In the second episode in our series on sexual consent, the Sugars dive deeper into encounters that are neither clearly consensual nor non-consensual.
Sat, 17 Mar 2018 - 32min - 571 - Consent Part 1: Into The Gray — With Jaclyn Friedman
In the midst of the #MeToo Movement, women and men all over the country are re-examining sexual encounters from their past. Over the course of a three-part series on consent, the Sugars answer letters from some of these women and explore the complexity and nuance of sexual consent.
Sat, 10 Mar 2018 - 39min - 570 - Family By Proxy — With Jessie Glenn
When a family experiences loss, familial roles are often redefined. In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from people who are unexpectedly charged with caring for new family members.
Sat, 10 Feb 2018 - 33min - 569 - Updates Part 2: Step Into Your Spotlight
In part two of our updates series, we find out what happened to two letter writers who let self-image sabotage their love lives. The Sugars find out if “Scared to Choose Wrong” married her fiancé, and they give “Aspiring Warrior for Love” a call to see how he’s changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than a year ago.
Sun, 04 Feb 2018 - 36min - 568 - Updates Part 1: Change Is A Work In Progress
In today’s update episode, we check in with some of our most memorable letter writers from previous episodes. The Sugars find out if “Struggling” was kicked out of his mother’s house, and they give “Bad Mom” a call to see if and how her views of motherhood have changed since hearing the Sugars’ advice more than two years ago.
Sat, 27 Jan 2018 - 35min - 567 - Dark Fantasies Part 2 — With Dr. Ian Kerner
In part two of our Dark Fantasies series, Dr. Ian Kerner returns to help the Sugars answer questions about where our central ideas about sex and eroticism come from, and delve deeper into the world of sexual fantasy.
Sat, 20 Jan 2018 - 28min - 566 - Dark Fantasies, Part 1 — With Dr. Ian Kerner
Orgies. Sex in public. Incest. These are the things that some of us think about in the dark. Taboo fantasies can be exciting, but they can also be the source of our deepest shame. In this two-part series on sexual fantasies, the Sugars read letters from people who want to turn off the thoughts that turn them on.
Sat, 13 Jan 2018 - 32min - 565 - Cutting The Financial Cord — With Dr. Kate Gale
At age 18, we are granted the rights and responsibilities of adulthood in the eyes of the law. But for parents of young adults, it’s not so clear cut. When is the right time to wean your children off the family payroll? The Sugars tackle this question with the help of Dr. Kate Gale.
Sat, 23 Dec 2017 - 30min - 564 - The Ugly Truth
Most of us have days when we don’t feel attractive. But in this episode, the Sugars read letters from people whose faces are at odds with conventional ideas of beauty. The writer Ariel Henley joins the Sugars to talk about her own facial differences. Henley was born with Crouzon Syndrome. As a child, she underwent dozens of surgeries that permanently changed the shape of her face.
Sat, 16 Dec 2017 - 34min - 563 - Just Say It
Words can be wielded like weapons. On today’s episode, the Sugars hear from people who have something to confess but are afraid to hurt others with the power of their words.
Sat, 09 Dec 2017 - 28min - 562 - A Spy In The House Of Love — With Ariel Levy
Snooping on your spouse is generally ill-advised, but what if he or she has an addiction and is constantly lying about it? The Sugars and writer Ariel Levy answer this question on today’s episode.
Sat, 02 Dec 2017 - 33min - 561 - The Double Bind of Female Ambition — With Hillary ClintonSat, 18 Nov 2017 - 23min
- 560 - The Empty Chair: Part 2 — With Emily Rapp Black
The Sugars conclude a two-part series on early childhood death. In Part 2, they read letters from parents who worry that their grief may overshadow their surviving children. They are joined by the writer Emily Rapp Black, who decided to have another child after learning that her son had a fatal congenital disorder.
Sat, 11 Nov 2017 - 33min - 559 - The Empty Chair: Part 1 — With Jessica Handler
The Sugars begin a two-part series on early childhood death. In Part 1, they read letters from siblings who live in the the shadow of their parents’ grief. They're joined by the writer Jessica Handler, whose two sisters died from different blood disorders. “I grew up knowing that I would be the only one left,” says Handler, “and I very often feel the need to live for three people.”
Sat, 04 Nov 2017 - 33min - 558 - The Other Half Of Sexless Relationships
In this episode, the Sugars answer letters from letter writers who want to have sex less frequently than their partners do.
Sat, 28 Oct 2017 - 24min - 557 - You Must Change Your Life — With Mitchell S. Jackson
In this episode, the Sugars talk to writer Mitchell S. Jackson, who started selling drugs when he was 14 years old and went to prison for drug possession years later. “There was no way for me to escape what I was doing,” he tells the Sugars. Jackson helps the Sugars answer letters from people who also feel stuck and aimless. One writes: “Here we are two abortions, two failed college attempts, a list of dead end jobs later, I’m stuck in a job I despise and I go home …
Sat, 21 Oct 2017 - 38min - 556 - When Friendship Ends
Friendships are different from any other type of relationship in our lives. They are purely voluntary, which can make them feel more tenuous. In this episode, the Sugars take questions from two letter-writers who both feel exhausted by a friendship and want out. They discuss with the writer Emily Chenoweth.
Sat, 30 Sep 2017 - 33min - 555 - Rapid Fire: Should I Stay Or Go?
The Sugars bring you another "Rapid Fire" episode, where they give brief answers to a handful of letters that are all centered around a theme. The theme for this episode is "stay or go" -- people who have a voice in their head telling them to leave their relationship, but who aren't sure it's the right move.
Mon, 25 Sep 2017 - 34min - 554 - Sexless Relationships, Part 2: Esther Perel
The Sugars are joined by the therapist Esther Perel to discuss a letter from a husband who is in a sexless marriage and is looking for a way to help his wife heal from trauma.
Sat, 16 Sep 2017 - 26min - 553 - Sexless Relationships, Part 1: Esther Perel
A sexless relationship is often a symptom of deeper dysfunction. The Sugars, along with couples therapist Esther Perel, advise a letter writer whose loving partner is erotically absent.
Sat, 09 Sep 2017 - 33min - 552 - In The Shadow Of Damaged Parents — With Dr. Richard Almond
A damaged parent can cast a dark shadow over our lives, especially when we inherit some of that damage. Steve’s father, the psychoanalyst Dr. Richard Almond, joins the Sugars to answer letters and offer a way out.
Sat, 02 Sep 2017 - 34min - 551 - Pet Dilemmas — With Julie Barton
This week, adventures in animal ownership! The Sugars, along with Julie Barton -- author of the memoir "Dog Medicine: How My Dog Saved Me From Myself" -- answer letters about pet dilemmas and the ways these creatures affect human relationships.
Sat, 26 Aug 2017 - 47min - 550 - Body Weight And Romance — With Ashley C. Ford
It’s never easy to talk to our romantic partners about their bodies, especially when it’s about weight. The Sugars, along with the writer Ashley C. Ford, answer letters from people questioning their relationships because of major changes in their partners’ bodies.
Sat, 19 Aug 2017 - 34min - 549 - Should I Intervene? — With Meghan Daum
When we decide to meddle, it can often backfire. The Sugars, along with the writer Meghan Daum, answer letters from people who see loved ones heading down the wrong path, but worry intervention might be the wrong move.
Sat, 12 Aug 2017 - 40min - 548 - The Price Of Our Dreams — With George Saunders
The Sugars, along with the fiction writer George Saunders, field letters from people who are chasing their creative dreams but frightened by the practical and financial risks that come with that pursuit.
Sat, 05 Aug 2017 - 34min - 547 - Rapid Fire: Summer 2017 Edition
In a heated moment, a mother reveals a dark chapter from her childhood to her daughter, then immediately regrets it. What now? In this week’s episode, the Sugars tackle this and several other questions, including how to handle a brother-in-law who treats your vacation as his own free childcare; what to do when your best friend’s husband asks you to lie; and why we sometimes recoil at very public displays of grief.
Sat, 29 Jul 2017 - 32min - 546 - The Power Of No, Part 2: Oprah Winfrey
"What do I want?" This is the question Oprah Winfrey finally asked herself, after years of struggling to say "no" to people in her life. In the second of this two-part series, the Sugars continue their conversation with Oprah Winfrey on when, why and how to say "no."
Sat, 22 Jul 2017 - 25min - 545 - The Power Of No, Part 1: Oprah Winfrey
There’s incredible power in saying “yes.” It opens up avenues and allows us to be brave. In Cheryl's case, it’s what led to her becoming Sugar. But saying yes to life's opportunities can also have its risks. This week, the Sugars are joined by Oprah Winfrey to discuss when to say no, how to say no, and what happens in the wake of that.
Sat, 15 Jul 2017 - 35min - 544 - Rapid Fire: A Wealthy Sister, An Impatient Girlfriend, An Unshakable Love
The Sugars are back for another batch of rapid-fire questions and answers. In this round, the Sugars take on six questions, ranging from a letter writer who is jealous of her sister's wealth, to a young woman who is growing impatient for a proposal from her longtime boyfriend, to a person wondering if people ever really change.
Sat, 08 Jul 2017 - 39min - 543 - When Bad Things Happen
In this episode, the Sugars grapple with a difficult question — how do we make sense of the fact that very bad things can happen to people who have done nothing wrong? They discuss a letter from a visual artist who has just learned he is losing his sight, and another from a woman whose life has been transformed by her daughter's life-threatening condition.
Mon, 03 Jul 2017 - 33min - 542 - Dear Sugar: Do I Wait For My Ex?
In this episode, the Sugars take a question from a young woman whose boyfriend recently broke up with her because of uncertainty about his sexuality. The letter writer is heartbroken, confused, and wondering if she should wait for him while he figures it out. The Sugars are joined by Dan Savage, author of the sex advice column "Savage Love" and host of the "Savage Lovecast."
Sat, 24 Jun 2017 - 26min - 541 - More Money, More Problems
Money makes us crazy. In this episode, the Sugars take questions from two letter writers struggling with their relationships to money. The first, an aspiring playwright, feels guilty about all the advantages that her parents' wealth has provided to her. The second, a divorced mother, is unable to control her spending and is on the verge of bankruptcy. They're joined by the writer Sean Wilsey, who wrote about his own complicated relationship to family wealth in the acclaimed memoir, "Oh the Glory of it All."
Sun, 18 Jun 2017 - 39min
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