Beautifully Complex

Let's talk about what to do when your kid isn't listening. Remember, they might be processing your words in non-traditional ways, so it's important to find alternative approaches to help them focus, process, and follow through. From recognizing distractions to accommodating slow processing speeds, I offer practical advice to help parents navigate these complex situations, including how to engage them physically, provide written instructions, and be mindful of their individual needs. By understanding these hurdles and meeting your kid where they are, you can foster better communication and cooperation. Join me!

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I explore the detrimental effects of trying to control kids, emphasizing the importance of a humanistic approach to behavior. After watching the recent documentary series on Netflix called "The Program," I was both horrified by the trauma that the “troubled teen industry” causes and inspired to talk about the much more helpful perspective science offers regarding behavior. I’ve identified 8 key elements that help us feel good so we can do good, and none of them have anything to do with control. Through personal experiences and impassioned insights, I shed light on the need to empower kids, especially those who are neurodivergent, and the damaging impact of not respecting their individuality and autonomy. Join me in understanding the importance of taking a humanistic approach to behavior and nurturing an environment that supports and values the uniqueness of every child.

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I sit down with Dr. Melanie McNally, a clinical psychologist and brain coach who specializes in working with tweens, teens, and young adults. Together, we explore the struggles that many young adults face in finding motivation and direction. Dr. Melanie shares her expertise on helping young adults build their interpersonal skills and increase their motivation. She breaks down the components of motivation into three skill sets: drive, grit, and goals, offering valuable insights for parents navigating the complexities of raising motivated teens. We also delve into the challenges of this generation's unique landscape, touch on the impact of social media, and discuss the changing dynamics of adolescence and parenting. I found Dr. McNally's approach to be insightful and empowering, offering practical strategies for parents and young adults alike. If you're a parent navigating the complexities of raising neurodivergent teens and young adults, Dr. Melanie’s wisdom is sure to provide valuable guidance and support.

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I tackle the topic of rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD) and provide 7 essential steps to help kids and teens facing this challenge. I share insights on recognizing signs of RSD in kids and teens, fostering open communication, building self-esteem, challenging negative thought patterns, teaching coping strategies, practicing self-compassion, and seeking professional support when needed. Our role as parents and caregivers is crucial in helping our neurodivergent kids navigate these challenges and thrive. If you want to learn more about supporting your child with RSD, don't miss this episode. Remember, you are not alone on this journey, and together, we can help our kids grow into resilient, confident, successful, happy, joyful adults.

In today's episode, Emily Kircher-Morris, M.A., M.ED., LPC is back and we're unpacking what it means to be a neuro-affirmative parent or teacher. We explore the pressures that neurodivergent kids face, especially the expectation to camouflage their true selves. Emily, with her dual expertise in education and counseling, is sharing invaluable insights, including her CARE acronym, which stands for cultivating authenticity, recognizing strengths, empathy, and creating safety. We discuss the intricacies of masking and the importance of authentic self-representation for these amazing kids and adults. We also address the negative impacts of non-affirming environments that can lead to stress and school avoidance. Our chat is laced with discussions on embracing rather than merely accepting diverse communication styles, and how this can transform a child's experience. Emily also sheds light on the 'double empathy problem,' the disconnect that can happen in communication between neurodivergent individuals and the neurotypical majority. Together, Emily and I are rethinking communication norms and advocating for the celebration of individuality, particularly within the neurodiverse community. As we speak, we're delving into self-advocacy for neurodivergent children and the importance of making that a communicative priority. Let’s talk about the significance of recognizing and leveraging the strengths of these amazing humans.

Today, I get to talk to the incredible Dr. Richard Selznick—a renowned psychologist specializing in dyslexia and learning disabilities. We dive into the traps parents often fall into when communicating with their children, especially those with neurodivergent needs. Dr. Selznick emphasizes the importance of giving our kids choices. It's eye-opening to hear about the challenges of motivating children with learning struggles and how we tend to blame ourselves as parents. Dr. Selznick's insight shifts the focus to understanding and supporting our kids in the best possible way.

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m sharing a deeply personal story about a challenging experience with my son and the valuable insights it brought us regarding challenging behavior and supporting our neurodivergent kids. Through sharing this experience, I emphasize the need for flexibility and understanding in dealing with challenging behaviors, as well as the role of an individual’s nervous system and behavior. I’m also sharing info about the upcoming Transforming Behavior workshop series, which will provide free workshops for parents and caregivers.

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I have a candid conversation with Anouk Briere-Godbout about the challenges of parenting neurodivergent children. Our discussion focuses on the impact of societal pressure on parental confidence and the importance of finding supportive communities for parents facing similar struggles. Anouk shares personal experiences and professional insights, emphasizing self-compassion, resilience, and the need for a mindset shift in addressing the unique needs of neurodivergent children. If you’ve felt judged about your parenting in public, listening to this episode will make you feel so much less alone!

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m talking with Emily Hamblin about the unique ways neurodivergent kids might show their love for you. Emily shares her personal journey of recognizing and appreciating her children's unique love languages, discussing the impact of neurodivergent traits on their communication of love and care. The conversation delves into the concept of love languages, emphasizing the importance of understanding and embracing the individual ways in which children express and receive love. Throughout the episode, Emily provides insights and practical tips for parents to recognize and incorporate their children's love languages into daily interactions. The discussion also explores the significance of celebrating small victories in parenting and the value of recognizing and acknowledging children's expressions of love and care.

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I had an insightful conversation with Dr. Janina Elbert Maschke, an expert in ADHD coaching and cognitive psychology. We discuss how to support neurodivergent young adults as they navigate the unique challenges they face, such as feelings of isolation, academic pressures, and emotional struggles. Dr. Maschke shares invaluable advice on recognizing and celebrating the strengths of neurodivergent individuals, as well as empowering parents to shift from instructing to supporting their young adults. We also discuss the importance of finding one's passion, building confidence, and seeking outside support.

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I’m exploring the profound impact of successes on our neurodivergent kids (and all of us humans). I discuss how experiencing successes contributes to building confidence, motivation, and a positive mindset, all through the lens of brain science. I also offer practical ways for parents and educators to create opportunities for success and the importance of celebrating even the smallest victories. Join me as we explore the power of successes in shaping our children's journey and the strategies to support them along the way.

I'm thrilled to bring you another compelling episode of Beautifully Complex. For this episode, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Elizabeth Sautter, MA, CCC-SLP for a truly eye-opening discussion about the often wildly misunderstood concept of listening and showing that you’re listening. Elizabeth, a speech language pathologist and social cognitive specialist, emphasizes the importance of allowing individuals to find what works best for them in terms of regulation, challenging the notion of a one-size-fits-all approach. We dive into the myths surrounding what it looks like when a kid or teen is listening, the significance of regulation as a foundation for education, and the diverse ways in which individuals process information. From the concept of "Listening Larry" to the need for tailored support for neurodivergent children, our conversation offers a newfound appreciation for the complexities of listening and the impact it has on learning.

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, we’re setting achievable intentions for the new year, with a strong focus on nurturing connections and fostering collaboration with our neurodivergent kids and teens. As always, I’m challenging the traditional authoritarian parenting/educating approach and advocate for a collaborative relationship with your kids and students, and I provide practical insights and resources for creating a collaborative environment. I emphasize the importance of spending quality time without distractions to build connections and suggest ways to provide opportunities for children to connect with you and with peers. You can even download my annual goal planning worksheet for 2024 in the show notes.

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m joined by Doreen Samelson, EdD, MSCP to discuss the emotional impact on neurotypical siblings of neurodivergent children. Learn about the importance of acknowledging and accepting diverse emotions, creating intentional time for the siblings, and seeking support from networks and family members. This episode offers practical resources and highlights the significance of open dialogue and radical empathy in supporting all family members.

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I’m taking a deep dive into the concept of "can't versus won't" when examining a child's behavior. It’s important to understand that the majority of the time, when a child is struggling, it is a "can't" rather than a "won't," even when it feels like an undoubtable won’t. I cover the complexities involved in assessing the "doability" of tasks for neurodivergent kids and provide an acronym, "DESKS," to help parents and educators analyze the factors that contribute to a task's doability for that child. Each factor plays a significant role in determining whether a child can or cannot complete a task without significant support or accommodations. Learn to approach challenges with empathy and understanding, and the framework required to assess doability to support children in overcoming barriers to achieving success.

In today's episode,I have the pleasure of hosting Dr. Brent Crandal, a clinical psychologist and children's book author. Join me for this thought-provoking conversation with Dr. Crandal about practical ways to build mindfulness and connection within families. From fostering gratitude to promoting a culture of hope, this episode presents valuable insights and actionable strategies to enhance family dynamics. We delve into the importance of mental health hygiene, modeling healthy behaviors, and finding balance in parenting. This episode is filled with wisdom and inspiration. So, grab your favorite beverage, get cozy, and get ready to be uplifted by this enriching conversation.

In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I outline five strategies to boost the confidence of neurodivergent teens and young adults. I emphasize the importance of leaning into a strengths-based approach, fostering a growth mindset, providing opportunities for talents, interests, and passions, making "time in" a part of the family culture, and being transparent about your humanness, frustration tolerance, grit, and resilience for your teens. I share practical examples and insights on implementing these strategies to help you guide your neurodivergent kids towards building confidence and self-esteem.

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, Leslie Josel and I explore the crucial role of emotional rewards in building habits and fostering positive behavior in neurodivergent children. We highlight the significance of specific praise, genuine curiosity, and active listening in reinforcing routines and solidifying relationships. The conversation also delves into the challenges of effective communication and the importance of providing space for children to process. You’ll get practical insights and strategies, and be empowered with valuable tools to support your child’s development and nurture meaningful connections.

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, join host Penny Williams as she delves into the topic of childhood OCD with guest Brendan Mahan, M.Ed., MS. Brendan opens up about his personal journey raising a child with OCD and the challenges his child and family faced, and continues to face, along the way. From the early signs of OCD in his son to the impact of COVID on his family dynamics, Brendan shares the highs, lows, and important lessons learned about raising a kid with OCD. Join us as we explore the complexities of OCD, the power of connection, and the realities of being a parent in the face of mental health challenges. This is a conversation you won't want to miss.

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m diving into behavior challenges at school. We'll discuss the common struggles faced by children with ADHD, autism, and other developmental delays, and explore effective strategies to help them navigate these challenges. From poor frustration tolerance and off-task behavior to big emotions and argumentativeness, we'll unpack it all. Join me as I share practical tips, insights, and stories to empower parents, educators, and professionals in supporting these beautifully complex individuals.

In this episode of Beautifully Complex, we’re discussing the incredible power of music for those who are neurodivergent with Penny’s son, Luke. Luke shares his personal journey with music, starting from using it as a tool to assist his focus and mental clarity beginning in fourth grade. He also delves into his experience with creating digital music on his iPad and phone. Penny and Luke explore how this particular form of music — with its rhythmic and often heavy nature — has been instrumental in helping Luke regulate his emotions, cope with overwhelm, and ultimately improve his ability to refocus on his schoolwork. They also touch upon how different music genres, including heavy and fast beats, can have a calming effect on neurodivergent individuals. Join us as we dive into the fascinating world of using music to feel better and do better and uncover the beautiful complexity it brings to our lives.

In today's episode, our host Penny Williams dives deep into a topic that many parents struggle with: how to stay calm in the midst of the storm. As a parenting coach, author, and mindset mama, Penny shares her personal journey of going from a parent who yelled and felt frustrated to one who responds calmly, compassionately, and clear-headedly. From reframing our children's behavior to understanding that it's not personal, Penny offers valuable insights and strategies on how to manage our emotions and effectively support our neurodivergent kids. Let's dive into this beautifully complex topic together.

I have a special guest in this episode — Alice Gendron, also known as The Mini ADHD Coach. Alice shares her personal journey of being diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 29 and the challenges she faced afterward. She discusses the misconceptions surrounding ADHD, particularly in women and girls, and highlights the importance of understanding the different ways in which ADHD can manifest. Join us as we dive deep into this beautifully complex topic and gain valuable insights into working with the ADHD brain.

In this episode, I’m diving deep into the topic of de-escalating challenging behavior with Dayna Abraham of Calm the Chaos. As parents of neurodivergent kids, we often face moments when our children's behaviors become overwhelming and difficult to handle. This discussion will provide you with valuable insights and strategies for navigating these situations. We explore the concept that all behavior is communication and how to approach challenging behaviors as clues of dysregulation, rather than as negative actions. We also discuss the importance of staying calm, being mindful of our words and actions, and using tools like sensory anchors to ground ourselves in tough times. Plus, wel explore how our own behavior as parents can influence the outcome of these challenging moments. So get ready to gain some powerful tools for de-escalation and join us on this journey of understanding and embracing the beautifully complex adventure of parenting neurodivergent children.

In this episode, I’m diving deep into the reality of frustration, particularly for mothers of neurodivergent children with Stephanie Rosenfield. Stephanie shares her insights and personal experiences, highlighting the challenges and struggles faced by moms who are constantly striving to balance authenticity and protectiveness. We'll explore the societal pressures of being the perfect parent and how it impacts our ability to be real with our children. Stephanie also offers valuable tips on how to navigate frustrating moments and teach resilience to our kids. Get ready for an honest and eye-opening conversation that will leave you reflecting on your own parenting journey. Let's explore the beautifully complex reality of frustration with Stephanie Rosenfield.

I’m diving into the big picture goals of education and how refocusing on those overarching goals helps struggling learners thrive. Join me as I discuss how understanding the true purpose of education and the true purpose of each task or assignment can level the playing field for struggling learners and enhance a child's learning journey.

In this episode, I discuss the role of neurobiology in our ability to learn. Join me as we uncover the science behind how our nervous system’s state impacts our availability to learn. We will explore the concept of regulation and why it is crucial for optimal learning. Get ready for some eye-opening insights that will challenge the traditional educational norms we've been accustomed to.

The concept of the "just right challenge" plays a crucial role in supporting growth and success for neurodivergent kids in school. I share insights on finding the balance between pushing children outside their comfort zones and ensuring they can still achieve success. I emphasize the need to meet kids where they are and create opportunities for growth, all while understanding the ever-changing nature of neurodiversity. Tune in to learn more about the Zone of Proximal Development and how to navigate the complexities of setting appropriate challenges for struggling students.

Connection and a sense of belonging are integral to learning. Join me as I explore strategies for creating a community that not only supports academic growth but also celebrates individual differences. Tune in to discover how building a culture of community can positively impact students' emotional well-being and engagement in the learning process.

Normalizing differences in education is a key topic for creating schools that are equitable to all learners. I share valuable lessons learned from experts on how to embrace neurodiversity, different learning styles, and unique needs in the classroom. Join me as I uncover strategies to create a culture of acceptance, foster community, and encourage open conversations about alternative approaches to learning. It's time to make education a place where every student feels seen, understood, and successful.

In this episode, I explore the crucial importance of providing adaptable approaches to education for neurodivergent children and those who struggle in school. Prepare to discover three key ways to implement flexibility in education, ranging from the flexibility of the learning environment to accommodating different modalities of learning and allowing individualized planning and organization.

In 2022, 34 students and adults died in school shootings, while more than 43,000 children were exposed to gunfire at school. These are startling statistics, but an epidemic that many Americans have grown somewhat numb to. While we’ve become accustomed to expecting more school shootings, it doesn’t reduce the fear and anxiety kids and parents feel. In fact, the inevitability keeps the lack of control top of mind.  In this episode, I’m joined by the Executive Director of the Trauma and Grief Centers, Dr. Julie Kaplow, to learn what we can do as parents and caregivers to help kids navigate the emotions and fears they feel when a school shooting happens. First and foremost, Dr. Kaplow says we have to talk about the tragedies with our kids. Listen in to learn more about what you can do to empower your kids to navigate tragedy and the resulting fear it often causes.

Everyone has eight senses — the five we know commonly, which are our “far” senses, and the three additional senses that are our “near” senses. The three additional senses of vestibular, proprioceptive, and interoception are vitally important to regulation.   In this episode, I’m joined by occupational therapists, Rachel Harrington and Jessica Hill, hosts of the All Things Sensory podcast. Listen in to learn about the three “near” senses, how to put on your sensory goggles to decode behavior and help your kids regulate, and many tools and activities for the different sensory areas.

School is hard for neurodivergent kids — there's no question about that. Traditional educational systems are not designed for kids who learn differently. That means we have to advocate for our children and take steps to provide a path for success. First and foremost, we must understand the end goal of schooling: to provide our children with the education and skills they need to thrive as adults. We can't achieve that if we get caught up in just conforming to a rigid system. Instead, let's focus on nurturing their individuality and helping them discover their sense of purpose. Our kids need to understand why they're learning certain things and how it will impact their lives. And here's the key: we need to create opportunities for them to experience success, no matter how small. Remember, learning and growth is a process, and it's important to meet kids where they are, celebrate their victories, and empower them with ownership and control over their education. Listen in to learn how.

Everyone needs grit for self-actualization. Without experiencing that we can do hard things and be okay on the other side, we don’t feel truly successful and fulfilled. Of course, we want this for our kids — we want them to have grit and to feel a great sense of achievement and purpose. So how do we foster grit in our kids (and ourselves, btw)? The short answer is that we allow failure and then learn and grow from it. As the executive director of SOAR, John Willson (or Big John as I and his campers know him) explains to us, it means that it’s imperative that we stop rescuing our kids too quickly. We must teach them to “fail forward,” as he calls it. We must step back and watch the hard thing happen to them or witness them really struggling with something, and then wait for the recovery and the sense of true accomplishment to hit them. Doability and support are crucial, of course. Listen in for the full conversation on helping kids build grit.

Our culture is pretty rigid and it calls for parents to be rigid in their parenting as well — you set rules and limits, kids break them, you punish them. But, this is not good parenting!  Kids do need structure but they also need the space to be authentically who they are and find their own path. Rigidity doesn’t allow kids to be true to themselves, it doesn’t allow parents to feel good about their relationships with their kids, and it doesn’t prepare kids for adulthood and independence. There is a better way.  Author of Calm the Chaos, Dayna Abraham, joins me in this episode to talk about why we need to shift from rules and limits and what we should shift to, boundaries and agreements, routines and plans. Listen in to learn a values-based family system and how to implement it in your family.

Parenting itself can be traumatic — it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders to protect your child while also teaching them to live their truth and live it fearlessly. When you add in neurodivergence, you amplify the stress, anxiety, and intensity. And your body holds onto that stress, anxiety, and intensity — it doesn’t feel safe and it signals you not just emotionally and mentally, but physically as well.  I’m honored to have the founder of The Biology of Trauma, Dr. Aimie Apigian, with me in this episode to discuss not only the trauma and what it may feel like for you in the ways your body is responding, but also the process of repair and healing. Listen in to also hear Dr. Aimee take me through two very short exercises to help relieve the stress and overwhelm right when it hits us the hardest.

One of the struggles we hear from parents again and again is that their child lacks self-regulation. Being with a kid who can’t self-regulate day in and day out is challenging, no doubt. But you can help your kid calm and kids can learn to self-regulate — you just need the right strategies. In this episode of Beautifully Complex, outline five strategies to help your child get regulated or to foster their own self-regulation skills. Most of these can be woven into your everyday lives and things you’re already doing. Remember, when kids are regulated, their bodies and brains are able to engage and get things done, and they can feel good about themselves. Regulation is a key priority.

It’s hard not to get overwhelmed when parenting neurodivergent kids. The chaos, the school meetings, the appointments, the seemingly never-ending need… it’s a lot to juggle. But what our souls crave — what we need to truly live — is joy, ease, and presence.  In this episode, Heather Chauvin of Emotionally Uncomfortable reminds us that overwhelm is just a symptom, not a lifestyle. Instead, focusing on how you feel and how you want to feel can create a transformation in your body, mind, and spirit. Listen in to learn how to take charge of your energy and how you feel.

Though our understanding of autism has greatly expanded, many autistic individuals are still missed or misdiagnosed. Not all autistics are severely outwardly impacted, like Rainman. Autism is a spectrum and it can show up in many different ways — even camouflaged.  In this episode, I’m talking with Donna Henderson, Psy.D. & Sarah Wayland, Ph.D., authors of the new book,  Is This Autism? A guide for clinicians and everyone else. We talk through the diagnostic criteria of autism in a new way — through a lens of understanding the deeper nuances of each area and what those symptoms might look like in a child, adolescent, or adult who has less-obvious autism. Those who are hiding in plain sight.

We talk a lot about strategies for when our kids get stuck, but what about us? Parents can certainly feel stuck too. I’m feeling it to the nth degree these days, and I’ve decided to share my current feelings of being stuck in the stuck of stuck and what I’m doing to slowly find my way out of that darkness.  In this episode I share my current stuckness, how doing simple things has been hard for me, and what my therapist is helping me do to feel better so I can do better. I hope that my openness in sharing some of my personal story helps you feel a little less alone and inspires a new perspective for yourself or your parenting.

It’s easy to get overwhelmed by your child’s behavior, numerous possible interventions, school struggles, medication trials, and your feelings about all those things when you have a child with ADHD or autism. And we can’t live our best lives, or help our children live their best lives, when we’re overwhelmed and trying to do too much at once.  “We’re living in systems that make it hard for [parents of ND kids],” says Dr. Kelly Fradin. That inherently brings more difficulty to parenting complex kids. In this episode, Dr. Fradin shares strategies on both coping with the emotional aspects for parents and helping our kids develop and grow in their own time. It’s a process, and Dr. Fradin is here to help you with it.

The rate of suicide in children is rising sharply, not at a true crisis point. It’s something we worry about as parents, and rightfully so. Especially when we’re talking about a marginalized population like neurodivergent kids. Conversations with our kids about suicide are paramount, but often avoided because it’s a really hard topic to think and talk about.  In this episode, Jonathan Singer, Ph.D., LCSW joins me to talk about suicide. As an expert in the field, Jonathan shares the latest statistics, why the epidemic is increasing, and what we can do about it. He also provides examples of the conversations you should be having with your kids.

Parents and teachers often worry that if they help a kid with lagging executive functioning skills that the kid won’t develop skills for independence — that they won’t be able to function on their own. But, the truth is, you can help a child with functioning skills and teach them independence skills. The first step is to replace doing things for the child with doing things with the child. In this episode, we talk about the difference between helping in a way that is enabling, versus helping in a way that is empowering. You can support and still teach a kid to be independent. In fact, that’s what good support actually does — it helps and empowers. Listen in to learn how to support a kid who struggles with time management, task initiation, planning, and organizing while also teaching skills and self-accommodations.

There is a LOT online about ADHD and autism. A LOT! How do you know what to trust, what to try? It can be tough, especially when you’re searching through a lens of fear and worry for your child.    In this episode of Beautifully Complex, we offer some guidelines on knowing what to trust and considering what interventions are worth trying. We talk about ADHD medication, diet, brain training, and more.

You want to help your child. So you make some assumptions as to why they’re upset, why they’re not getting things done, why they’re avoiding or disengaging… You show empathy and validation with that info, still trying to help, and then your kid gets more upset and you can’t figure it out because you feel that you did everything right. The hurdle you tripped over may be assumptions and judgment. We have an opinion about why the behavior is happening and act on it as fact, when it’s really just a guess, at best. This causes so many issues. Tune in to this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast to learn what assumptions you should make and how to check your judgment so you can actually be helpful more often than not.

There are some tough and scary things in life that we need to talk to our kids about: divorce, serious illness of a family member, moving, death of a loved one, to name a few. As parents, we don’t want our kids to be hurting and often default to sharing as little painful information as possible with them. But, we do them a great disservice with that approach. Instead we need to be open and honest with them in an age-appropriate way.  What is age-appropriate for these conversations? My guest, Sara Olsher, shares a step-by-step process of talking to kids about hard things that helps parents have the conversation they need to have in a way that works for the child too. We discuss removing the unknown factor, answering questions, and talking about how the child’s day-to-day life may change because of this circumstance. Not only does Sara have the knowledge, but she’s developed the tools for this process as well.

Instead of viewing ADHD and autism through the medical model, we need to view them through a strengths-based model as the neurodiversity movement does. A strengths-based model uses interests and strengths to help with challenges. We talk a lot about it in terms of parenting and educating, but now it’s time to teach our kids to operate through a strengths-based lens.  In this episode, Dr. Matt outlines the steps to help your child develop a strengths-based perspective specific to their own strengths and weaknesses. This puts challenges and non-preferred tasks through a lens that the child or teen cares about, making it much more doable. As Dr. Matt reminds us, “Rising tides raise all boats.”

If there’s one thing parents of struggling learners understand, it’s that the IEP process is complex. Between the law (IDEA), qualifications, the IEP document, goals, measurements, and formal meetings, there’s a lot to know and navigate to ensure that your neurodivergent child receives the education they deserve (and have a right to).   In this episode, I’m joined by Master IEP Coach, Catherine Whitcher. Catherine shares insights on the IEP process,  two main strategies for IEP meetings and what to expect in those meetings, and all the facets of a student should be addressed with special education, not just grades and test scores. Join us to discover your voice of advocacy for your child.

Biology influences behavior. Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world does, too. The challenges neurodivergent kids experience at school and in their classrooms are tied to their neurological differences and how their bodies interpret their environment and gauge their safety. When kids don’t feel safe, they cannot regulate and they cannot learn.   In this episode, Dr. Emily King helps us understand the added layer of complexity that neurodivergence adds to a student’s school experience. We discuss the importance of regulation, choice, and interests in helping kids feel safe and helping their bodies be available to learn.

It’s easy to fall into bad patterns with our interactions with others, especially our kids. But a better relationship is always possible, as long as you make changes and do the work. In this episode, Sarah Wayland, Ph.D. is back with me to talk about making amends, repairing the relationship, and pivoting to more healthy and rewarding interactions.

Intelligence and learning and doing are different things. An individual can be highly intelligent and also struggle with getting things done or even with learning itself. When someone has both a high IQ and a learning disability, they’re referred to as twice-exceptional, or 2e. As you can imagine, this can be a struggle in school, as well as other aspects of life, because people tend to automatically think that an intelligent person is a highly capable person.     I’m joined by 2e expert and counselor, Emily Kircher-Morris, to discuss the asynchronous development that leads to twice-exceptionality and how we can help 2e kids and teens self-advocate and create an environment for their success.

It’s the 6 year anniversary of the Beautifully Complex podcast so I’m looking back at some of the most pivotal lessons I’ve had about parenting neurodivergent kids. I’ve interviewed nearly 150 experts and also parented my son from young teen to young adult during that time. I’ve learned a lot! Listen in as I explain my six biggest aha’s and what they could mean for you and your child — the interconnectedness of biology and behavior, pressure is actually a demotivator, rejection sensitive dysphoria, giving kids control, compassionate parenting, and asking for help.

Many neurodivergent kids — including those with ADHD, autism, and anxiety — can be quite aggressive at home or at school. To cope with and improve aggressive behavior, you have to understand why it happens. In a global sense, the child doesn’t feel safe, and acknowledging this is a great place to start.  Tosha Schore of Parenting Boys Peacefully is my guest on this episode. In her work with families, Tosha helps parents discover the root of the aggression and work to diffuse it. Listen in to learn the three things you  must understand if your child (or student) is aggressive, common mistakes to avoid, and how to restore peace.

We’ve been busy recording the sessions for the upcoming Decoding Behavior Summit, March 3-5, 2023. In this episode of the podcast, Sarah and I reflect on the common principles and strategies we heard from the experts in this Summit, including your role in your child’s behavior, the importance of adult regulation, the transformative properties of a sense of control for kids, and more.

The parenting long game is all about putting the right mindset and strategies in play so that kids can succeed and thrive. As parents, we often spend a lot of time in the “yuk,” overwhelmed by what’s hard and negative. And we’re wired to focus on the negative as a means of protection.  However, to parent with the long game, Rachel Bailey tells us that we have to shift from judgment to understanding. Judgment is often followed by a negative narrative we create. Understanding is often followed by the narrative that our child needs help. Listen in to get Rachel’s strategies to go from chaos and overwhelm to setting your child — and yourself — up for success.

It can be hard for our neurodivergent kids to find their path into adulthood. They often don’t yet know what they’re interested in pursuing long term, even after graduating from high school. The key is to support kids, teens, and young adults in exploring their interests, as actor and puppeteer David Bizarro illustrates as he shares his story with us. You’ll gain insights on the ADHD brain and that journey and leave with a sense of hope for your child’s future.

Low demand parenting doesn’t mean that we dismiss all expectations of a child and let them do whatever they want. Instead, low demand parenting means dropping demands and reducing expectations in order to meet kids with radical acceptance. AS Amanda Diekman explains in this episode, the purpose of the low demand life is to find ease and joy. But how exactly do you shift from the high demand parenting that’s instinctual to most people to low demand parenting? Amanda explains that you start with radical acceptance and respecting the child’s boundaries. Listen in to hear her explain all six steps to shift to low demand parenting and see a transformation for your family.

The challenge of raising a child with differences in a mostly intolerant world is very real. There’s both joy and heartache, as Kaylor Taylor illustrates in her book, “Canaries Among Us.” At stake in this quest to honor our kids’ individuality, is the mental and emotional health of an ever-growing population of neurodivergent children.  In this episode, Kayla and I discuss the injurious nature of being a misunderstood and different kid in rigid societal systems, such as education, including the lifelong impact on mental health, the ability to hold down a job, and even physical health. You’ll also learn what to do to advocate for neurodiversity and help the world celebrate differences rather than condemn them.

“A brain that feels safe will not get stuck.” That’s how Britt Frank, author of “The Science of Stuck,” explains the connection between a sense of psychological safety and being stuck. In this episode, she not only shares that understanding of why we get stuck, but she outlines her step-by-step process to move through stuckness, something we’re all too often trying to help our neurodivergent kids do. Listen in and learn about the power of choice as well.

We’re addressing a listener question about letting kids fail in this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast. When parents say, “Let kids fail,” they usually mean revoking all of the help and support they were providing and letting the kid handle it on their own, even if that means letting them fail (often knowing it means that a neurodivergent kid will fail).  Sarah Wayland, Ph.D. and I don’t support letting kids fail in the literal sense of that phrase. This is a complex issue because kids need to feel success in order to put forth continued effort, and to feel capable and confident. Learn how to scale your support, rather than revoke it to build skills for future independence.

The transition into college and then out in the “real world” are challenging enough, but can be even more daunting and complex when you have ADHD, autism, learning disabilities, or anxiety. Parents want to help their kids succeed and thrive but are no longer able to step in to help in the ways they had while their child was under age 18. In this episode of Beautifully Complex, Alex Gilbert, who has ADHD and dyslexia herself, outlines a plan to help neurodivergent students succeed in college and during the associated transitions.

Did you know that only about 10 percent of U.S. high school students get 9-10 hours of sleep a night, the amount required for healthy sleep at that age? Teens who aren’t sleeping enough don’t just walk around groggy. A lack of healthy sleep negatively impacts mental health, cognitive function, reactivity, emotional regulation, immune function, and relationships.  Clearly, adequate sleep is important. But how do we help teens with a lot of demands and distractions prioritize sleep? That’s what Heather and Julie, authors of the new book, “Generation Sleepless,” offer in this episode of Beautifully Complex. We discuss the ramifications of sleep deprivation and how to help your teen get motivated about their sleep health.

In celebration of the 200th episode of the Beautifully Complex Podcast, I have my son Luke back on the show. It’s been 14 years since his first diagnosis of ADHD, and we’ve both learned a lot of lessons along the way. In this episode, Luke and I each share our top 5 lessons learned — my lessons in parenting a neruodivergent child and his lessons in being a neurodivergent individual. The episode starts with Luke sharing his lessons for other neurodivergent kids, teens, and young adults, so we encourage you to have your kids listen with you. As always with Luke, it’s a fun conversation.

There’s a cultural misconception that self-care is treating yourself to something, like a spa day or a weekend away with friends. While that is a type of self-care, it doesn’t sustain you through the day-to-day like internal self-care does, managing our stress, our mindset, and our thoughts and emotions.  Don’t discount internal self-care as “fluff” — I can personally attest that it’s life-changing, as can my guest for this episode, licensed psychotherapist, Sarah Sanders, MFT. Sarah outlines the three main areas of internal self-care and teaches us how to go about internal self-care and why it matters so much. Making internal self-care a priority is a key ingredient to being the parent you want to be.

It can be difficult to secure accommodations and services for your child at school. It requires that many people agree on a shared vision and how to make that student’s vision for their education a reality through necessary support. Getting everyone on the same page is key, along with focusing on a few priorities in the here and now.    In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m joined by Beth Liesenfeld of The IEP Lab. Beth shares her 3-part process to setting priorities for your child around school/education. She walks us through taking those priorities and creating a vision statement to share with your child’s school team to help everyone collaborate for a common goal.

Did you know that we are reactive by nature? That’s right! Our brains are wired to respond in kind for protection. But responding in kind — like yelling at your child after they yelled at you — is rarely needed in today’s modern world. And it’s never helpful, which is why we need to reduce our reactivity with our kids and parent from a place of calm intention.  My guest on this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast is parenting and mental health educator, Laura Linn Knight. Laura shares her insights and strategies on reacting less, addressing behavior and struggle with intention a lot more, and giving ourselves grace and amending our own behavior when we make mistakes. The calmer you are, the more power you actually have.

Recent data shows us that anxiety and depression have spiked tremendously in kids since the pandemic. Kids are struggling more than ever and they need our help (adults too, by the way). But what does that help look like?   In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, psychologist and author of several books on anxiety and depression, Dr. Gregory Jantz explains the signs of anxiety and depression in children, what we can do as parents and educators to help them, and when and how to seek professional help.

The difference between supporting a child and enabling a child is often a very fine line when you’re talking about neurodivergent kids, who need extra support. Plus, busy, overwhelmed parents often default to enabling because it’s just easier to do it yourself a lot of the time and you’re on auto-pilot in survival mode yourself. So how do you parent more intentionally and as a supporter?   In this episode of the Beautifully Complex Podcast, Sarah Wayland, Ph.D. and I discuss the difference between supporting and enabling, when enabling is ok, how to be intentional about defaulting to supporting, and the consequences of enabling too much.

I truly believe that we all have greatness within us. Each and every one of us. My guest for this episode, Cathay Domoney, believes this wholeheartedly as well, and it’s one of the core tenets of her work with children and families. Listen in as Cathy shares her process to help kids discover their own individual greatness. We talk about the mindset and “pure filter of love and curiosity” required to truly allow our kids to discover their authentic selves and shine, which starts by stripping away the expectations of culture and others. You’ll learn how to build a relationship with your child that provides sacred space for exploration (and mistakes) so they can discover themselves… and their greatness.

Parenting is hard. Parenting kids in this generation is even harder. Our kids today have a lot more potential pitfalls — and risks — to navigate with the internet and social media. And we parents have that whole additional world of risk to help our kids navigate. It’s vast, it’s tricky, and it’s scary. In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I’m talking with Titania Jordan with Bark Technologies. Listen in to learn all the dangers our kids face online as well as important conversations to have with your kids about these risks and tools and strategies to keep them safe. This is a very difficult but important topic and a must-listen for all parents.

Are you pressuring your child? You may not realize when you’re adding pressure, but you are very likely doing it often and not recognizing it. Neurodivergent kids don’t do well under pressure. It’s dysregulating and actually makes them less capable of actually doing the thing you’re pressuring them to do.  In this episode of the Beautifully Complex podcast, I outline how we pressure our kids, what the pressure does to them and why we should stop, and what to do instead.

When you don’t have ADHD yourself, it’s really how to know how your child with ADHD thinks and feels. Even if you do have ADHD too, the experience is different for each individual with ADHD, meaning it’s different for your child than it was and is for you. Yet, it’s important for parents to know what life is like for your kids so we can help them thrive. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast, I’m talking with Dr. Dawn Brown of the ADHD wellness center about how to discover how your child thinks and feels. We cover a variety of perspectives and topics including development, intense feelings and big emotions, sensitivity and rejection sensitive dysphoria, dysregulation, meeting your child where they are, and more…

If there’s one tool we all need for life in this world — kids and parents — it’s calming techniques. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast I explain the role of the vagus nerve and our autonomic nervous system in getting us activated and feeling unsafe, and then list more than 20 tools and techniques to use for calming yourself or your child, by stimulating the vagus nerve to calm the nervous system.

Seeing that ADHD and autism can be genetic, it stands to reason that there are many neurodivergent parents raising neurodivergent kids. Terry Matlen is one of them, but she’s also an expert on ADHD, especially in women. In this episode, Terry shares the feelings of guilt and inadequacy she felt raising her kids, because she struggled with many of the daily tasks due to her ADHD. She also offers some simple strategies to help make things like preparing meals and cleaning up more manageable when you may be struggling with executive functioning skills yourself.

One in five children has a learning disability or attention issue that causes school struggles. In the U.S. alone, that’s approximately 56.6 million students (Educationdata.org). And yet, we continue with an educational system that is solely focused on conformity and compliance. It is built for your average student with little consideration for those that can’t succeed in that system, even though they are virtually required to.  My own son is one of those students and, despite a gifted intelligence, he graduated high school feeling stupid and worthless. He’s one of millions with a similar experience and that’s just not ok. That’s why I created the free, online School Struggles Summit. In this podcast episode, I’m sharing some of the amazing insights and strategies from the experts in the Summit. You have actionable strategies here in this overview and the opportunity to register for the Summit and learn so much more to help your struggling child or student have the opportunity to succeed in school (in their own way).

Most of our systems that involve children are designed on the compliance model — that’s true in parenting and educating. We’ve leaned on compliance in our educational system since the 1800s, and it’s been part of our parenting culture for centuries. And yet, neuroscience has now taught us that there’s a monumentally better way. Through research we know that our neurobiology is a driving force in behavior — particularly our autonomic nervous system and our brain. We know that there are sensitivities and differences in our neurodivergent kids’ neurobiology too, making it crucial that we adopt this brain-based lens when responding to and managing behavior.  In this episode, OT Greg Santucci, explains why focusing on regulation (and dysregulation) are both a more effective and more humanistic approach than compliance. He also provides some actionable mindset shifts and strategies to help you implement a regulation model right away.

Most parents look forward to the start of a new school year. Their kids no longer need to be entertained all day every day and they get a bit of a break. However, if you the parent of a neurodivergent kid who struggles in school, you probably dread the start of a new school year — I know I did.    In this episode of the Beautifully Complex Podcast, I’m talking with educational therapists, Stephanie Pitts and Rachel Kapp about how to create a plan for a smooth start to the school year. You’ll learn about the 3 systems you need to support, how to simplify, and the communication necessary for your child to have a good school year.

The way we talk to our child matters. Not only does it become the little voice inside their heads and influence how they feel about themselves, but it can foster connection, build communication skills, and inspire confidence and resilience.  In this episode, Rebecca Rolland, Ed.D. shares her formula for Rich Talk and other strategies from her book, “The Art of Talking with Children: The Simple Keys to Nurturing Kindness, Creativity, and Confidence in Kids.” Learn how to implement reflective and active listening with your child and what benefits you and your child will be rewarded with when you do. Rebecca’s strategies help engage kids, make them feel seen, heard, and validated, and nurture their relationship with you.

Parents are human beings, nowhere near perfect. Often that means that we bring baggage from our childhood, our experiences, our own parents and let it color our parenting. We end up stuck on auto-pilot and often feel shame and blame when reflecting on tough parenting moments. Conscious parenting is about healing your own self so you can show up and be the parent you want to be for your kids. In this episode, Behavior Coach Lauren Pace outlines the steps necessary to make a shift to parenting with awareness and intention and creating the family life you really want.

One of the most impactful and transformative aspects of parenting is your relationship with your child (this is also true of the teacher-child relationship). A solid, calm, trusting relationship helps keep everyone regulated and feeling good. In this episode, Sarah Wayland, Ph.D. and I offer you four actionable strategies to foster connection with your child and build the relationship you want and need.

The new documentary film, The Disruptors, hears from many game-changing people about their ADHD and the vital role it has played in their success, and takes an immersive look at our approach to ADHD that debunks the most harmful myths, intimately taking viewers inside a number of families as they navigate the challenges-and the surprising triumphs-of living with ADHD. In this episode, I talk with executive producer, Nancy Armstrong, about why she wanted to create a film about ADHD and how this film can change the course of the lives of children with ADHD and their parents. Listen in, watch the film, and share it with the educators and other adults in your child’s life. Change begins with each of us.

This is Part 2 of my conversation with Jonathan Joly. If you haven’t yet, listen to Part 1, episode 180. There’s still so much for parents of neurodivergent kids to learn from Jonathan - so much that it’s two episodes.

Our culture has come a long way with acceptance, but there’s still so much further to go. We’re still very much a society based on conformity and normalizing everyone. I don’t have to tell you, but that simply doesn’t work. What happens when we keep pushing people to be our definition of “normal” when it isn’t who they are? They end up feeling “other” - unheard, unseen, and misunderstood.  This is the life Jonathan Joly describes in his new book, “All My Friends Are Invisible.” Growing up with ADHD, dyslexia and questioning his identity, Jonathan felt that there was no tolerance in the world for a kid with, what he calls, my “crazy mind” and differences. So he had to create a world where he was valued more than in the real world… a world in his imagination. His invisible, imaginary friends allowed him to be 100 percent himself, without judgment, bullying, and shame.  There’s so much for parents of neurodivergent kids to learn from Jonathan in his story, and in the way he parents his own children. He talks about how he didn’t finish school, but went back later and got a university degree and graduated with honors, how there’s a freedom to embracing who you are, and the coping mechanisms that he created and used to keep going in a world that rejected him.  This is one of the most emotional, moving, and inspirational conversations I’ve had. I know you’ll find it impactful too.

Parents often ask, “Is it sensory or is it behavior?” The truth is, sensory challenges cause behavior. Knowing that helps you determine a child’s intent and then zoom out and rewind to determine the particular sensory struggle that caused the behavior. There are many potential sensory struggles and they depend entirely on the individual. In this episode, I’m joined by occupational therapist Laura Petix (aka, the OTbutterfly). Laura shares a variety of real-life examples to help you learn how to determine the specific sensory systems impacted in the tasks and activities your child or student struggles with. She explains the concepts in an easy to understand way so you better understand what’s triggering behavior and can formulate an informed plan to help.

No parent wants to yell at their kids, but it happens. We are emotional, complex, imperfect creatures, just like our kids, so we are going to make mistakes. Just like our kids. However, we can make simple changes in our parenting that can have profound positive effects on how often our kids are triggered, and ourselves.  In this episode of Beautifully Complex, I’m talking with positive parenting expert, Amy McCready, about the basic emotional needs of kids and adults, some parenting truth bombs that will help you see a more effective path forward, and some proactive strategies that will help our kids feel better and do better more often.

This short bonus episode shares a couple announcements — including a free webinar — and the Behavior Revolution's best tips for handling the unpredictability of summer with neurodivergent kids.

For most children with ADHD, autism, or anxiety, one of the biggest stressors can be the unknown — unknown place, unknown schedule, unknown future. For this reason, vacation with neurodivergent kids can be challenging. As parents, we have grand expectations of family vacations… we want them to be packed full of memorable moments and ample joy. But the reality is that no one’s family vacations are like that. Every family has challenges. Ours just may have more sometimes. So join us for some tried-n-true tips on successful family vacations with neurodivergent kids.

We are in a crisis when it comes to children’s mental health and the healthcare needed to address it. We’re seeing a spike in anxiety and depression in kids and almost zero availability of mental health professionals. In this episode, I’m talking with Dr. Jason Kahn of Boston Children’s Medical Center about what parents can do when counseling or therapy isn’t yet available for your child. Tune in to learn about community and at-home supports.

I am excited to announce that the Parenting ADHD podcast is now the Beautifully Complex podcast.  I’ll still be sharing the same content on neurodiversity, ADHD, autism, anxiety, learning challenges, and this complex parenting journey. But now I’ll be doing it under this broader name so parents raising neurodivergent kids who don’t have ADHD will join our community also.  The entire premise of everything I share and teach is that when we feel good we can do good.  So how do we help our kids (and ourselves) feel good? Through acceptance, understanding, seeing behavior as communication, and being the calm anchor in the storm for our kids.  The Beautifully Complex podcast will help parents, caregivers, and educators harness the realization that we are all beautifully complex and marvelously imperfect. Each week I’ll offer insights and actionable strategies on parenting neurodivergent kids — those with ADHD, autism, anxiety, learning disabilities... My approach to decoding behavior while honoring neurodiversity, and parenting the individual child you have will provide you with the tools to help you understand and transform behavior, reduce your own stress, increase parenting confidence, and create the joyful family life you crave.  It’s the same mission I’ve always had for the podcast… I’m just opening my arms wider to invite more parents, caregivers, and educators in.  I hope you’ll continue to join me on the journey of learning to help our neurodivergent kids find their versions of success and joy, while stressing less and enjoying parenting more.

One of the most challenging aspects of raising a neurodivergent child is school and learning. In the U.S., our schools are built on a compliance and conformity model, which is a huge barrier to success for kids who learn differently and are behind their peers in skills and development. That’s why it’s crucial that parents understand their child’s learning needs and the accommodations and services they are entitled to.  In this episode, I’m talking with former special education teacher and advocate, Liz Capone, about IEPs, 504 plans, and how to work with your child’s school to ensure that your child has what they need at school to learn and show mastery.

The one thing all of us want for children is for them to feel loved, important, and special. As much as we want that, we don’t always succeed at it — life gets busy, and even the most well-meaning adults get frustrated and have bad days. Since neurodivergent kids get exponentially more negative messaging each and every day because of their differences, it’s crucial that caregivers make a conscious effort to ensure that these kids feel loved and lovable.  In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast, I’m talking with the author of the “All the Time” children’s book series, Deborah Farmer Kris, about the steps parents can take to ensure that kids feel truly loved and loveable. Deborah provides quick, simple ideas you can take action on right away.

Sensory challenges are common with both ADHD and autism. Often, the way sensory input is processed by an individual can explain behavior. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast, I’m talking with Carol Stock Kranowitz about the changes in her latest edition of her groundbreaking book, The Out-of-Sync Child, the importance of movement in working with sensory challenges, and what to do if your child struggles with sensory processing.

The concept of self-regulation is well-known among parents of kids with ADHD or autism. Especially since our kids often struggle to self-regulate. But there’s a lot more to talk about in the world of regulation. Our autonomic nervous systems drive behavior. And that nervous system is always either in a state of regulation or a state of dysregulation. This is crucial understanding for parents, caregivers, and teachers of neurodivergent kids. When one is regulated, they are calm and connected and feeling good. But when one is dysregulated, they’re feeling out-of-whack and that drives behavior. Join Sarah Wayland and I as we discuss how to recognize if your child is regulated or dysregulated and how that information informs your responses.

Success with ADHD is absolutely possible, though that can be hard to hope for while watching your child struggle in school. That’s why I love to share ADHD success stories with you. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast, I talk with successful ADHD entrepreneur, Isaac Eaves, about how he attained success by creating habits and routines that helped him focus, reframing struggles and making them his superpowers, and taking one step at a time toward his goal.

Many neurodivergent kids love video games. They’re stimulating, rewarding, and often a less intimidating social environment. However, parents worry about how much time their kids are spending on screens. FInding balance is key, but you can also use your child’s interest in digital play to build skills, like executive functions. Kids are practicing planning, organization, time management, problem solving and more in their video games. You can use that to help them apply those skills in their everyday, offline life. And that’s exactly what my guest, Randy Kulman, Ph.D., founder of Learningworks for Kids, discusses in this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast. Join us to learn how to use his Detect-Reflect-Connect model to help your kids relate the skills they use in their favorite games to real life tasks and activities.

Everybody lies to some degree (remember when you told your friend she looked beautiful when wearing a dress you hated?). Lying is part of growing up. And kids want to do well — they want to meet your expectations and please you. When your child tells you a lie, it isn’t because they “disrespect” you. It’s so much more than that, and isn’t really about you at all.  In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast, Dr. Norrine Russell is back to explain why kids lie, what it’s really about, and what you can, and should, do about it. One key strategy is to ask yourself how much is fact and how much is wishful thinking. This conversation is not what you would assume and that’s what makes it so powerful.

Did you know that meltdowns are different from tantrums? While a tantrum can devolve into a meltdown, a meltdown is very different. A child is not in control of themselves during a meltdown. Their brain has sort of been hijacked. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast, my partner in the Behavior Revolution, Sarah Wayland, Ph.D., and I take a deep dive on meltdowns. We’re talking about what a meltdown is and how it’s different from a tantrum, and we’re outlining the five steps you need to take when your child is having a meltdown — and some of these steps may surprise you. If you want to reduce the intensity and duration of meltdowns, and help your child when they’re having a hard time, this episode is a must-listen.

The autonomic nervous system governs the majority of our responses and reactions because behavior is biological. Fight, flight and freeze are all states of the autonomic nervous system, and all states of dysregulation. Calm and connected is also a state of the autonomic nervous system, when an individual is regulated. When you understand these connections to regulation and behavior, you have the foundational information necessary to understand behavior, notice, get curious, and create some transformation. In this episode of the Parenting ADHD Podcast, nervous system expert Irene Lyon teaches us about trauma, the autonomic nervous system, unresolved survival stress, and how those experiences and biology come together to shape behavior.