The Tango Banter

This conversation revolves around our recent experience at The Thing, a yearly tango marathon in Portland, OR. We discuss our personal experiences and observations, highlighting the challenges and strategies we used to get dances. We emphasize the importance of moving around the venue, being proactive in initiating conversations and connections, and understanding the dynamics of the dance floor. The conversation also touches on the clickish nature of some tango communities and the spectrum of desirability in the dance scene.

Interview with Oliver Kolker: https://youtu.be/WfmFPsBb5JM Join my private FaceBook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sotangoworld Sign up for my weekly NEWSLETTER: https://newsletter.imsotango.com/ Questions/comments? Reach out to me⁣⁣⁣⁣ Web: imsotango.com⁣ Email: connect@imsotango.com⁣⁣⁣⁣ Facebook⁣ @‌IMSO Tango⁣⁣⁣ Instagram @‌imso_tango

Both Alex and I started tango more than 10 years ago. Certain things have definitely changed over the past decade, but in other ways, tango is just as challenging as ever. We chat about the things we would do differently if we were going to start all over again, and other things that we would definitely do again.

If YOU were to start over, what would you do differently/the same?

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In this banter I explore the (un)friendliness of the social tango scene and the different camps that people fall into regarding this topic. The topic was sparked by a recent article (https://therhinestone.medium.com/i-went-to-my-first-milonga-lets-talk-about-it-2a4a93192d2b ) and interview I had with Elena Rovito (https://link.chtbl.com/O109KHbx ), a zouk dancer who had a negative first time experience at a milonga. The discussion delves into the responsibility of the tango community in creating a welcoming environment for newcomers and practical ways we can bridge the gap between advanced dancers and beginners. Join my private FaceBook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sotangoworld Sign up for my weekly NEWSLETTER: https://newsletter.imsotango.com/ Questions/comments? Reach out to me⁣⁣⁣⁣ Web: imsotango.com⁣ Email: connect@imsotango.com⁣⁣⁣⁣ Facebook⁣ @‌IMSO Tango⁣⁣⁣ Instagram @‌imso_tango

In this episode, I explore how tango followers can become more expressive in their dance, what that means and how to practice it. I offer practical tips for developing musicality and incorporating adornos into your dance in a way that enhances your movement. I highlight the value of practicing and making videos to improve your dance.

Tango Simplified Learning Series: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL0iNCGBu99jcAh980gEY-P7Pdk3j3vHuY

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In this episode, I review my experiences as a competitor at the Southern California Tango Championship. I’ve had a critical view to tango championships but this experience changed my perspective. I was surprised by the of camaraderie I saw and felt among the dancers and saw this kind of an event as an opportunity for personal growth. I placed 3rd in the Jack & Jill Category as a leader and I talk about the significance of that for myself as dancer and the tango community at large.

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In this episode, I interview Elena Rovito (https://www.facebook.com/Lena.Rovito) about her recent article she wrote where she described her less than positive experience at a milonga. We discuss the reactions she received and the challenges of entering the tango scene as a new dancer.

Elena also talks about her dance journey, starting with gymnastics and transitioning to various social dances like salsa, bachata, and Brazilian zouk. We discuss various strategies the Zouk community implements to make beginners feel welcome. We also touch upon some of the more tricky problems plaguing all social dance scenes.

Elena’s article on Medium: https://therhinestone.medium.com/i-went-to-my-first-milonga-lets-talk-about-it-2a4a93192d2b

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In this episode, I discuss the experience of ghosting, both in tango and in life. I share personal stories and explore the pain and confusion that comes with being rejected or ignored by someone. I also delve into the different areas of life where ghosting can occur, such as dating and professional relationships.

Takeaways

Ghosting is a common experience that can occur in various areas of life, including personal relationships, professional relationships, and dating.

It is important not to take ghosting personally and to recognize that the other person's actions are a reflection of their own experiences and circumstances.

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In this episode, Alex and I review our experiences at the Portland Valentango Festival and El Motivo Marathon in LA. We discuss the highlights, challenges, and differences between the two events. We also explore the physical demands of marathons and festivals, the differences in dance levels, and the importance of floor craft.

Takeaways

- Marathons and festivals offer different experiences and challenges for social dancers.

- Awkward moments can arise during late-night dancing, but it's important to navigate them with grace and respect.

- Asking questions and focusing on learning about others can lead to meaningful conversations at events.

- Mistakes can be embraced and lead to new experiences and connections.

Hopscotch Immersive Art Experience in Portland: https://letshopscotch.com/

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In this episode I discuss the importance of knowing specific elements of tango music in order to succeed as a dancer. I emphasize the significance of recognizing orchestras and understanding the different characteristics and styles they bring to the music. I share my personal journey of learning to recognize orchestras and provide a simple process for others to follow.

Takeways:

- Tango music is an essential component of the dance and plays a significant role in expressing the character and style of the dance.

- Recognizing orchestras and understanding their unique qualities can enhance the dance experience and allow for more creative expression.

- Learning to recognize orchestras is a process that requires practice and active listening, but it is a skill that can be developed over time.

- Understanding and appreciating tango music can deepen the connection between dancers and create a more enjoyable and fulfilling dance experience.

Access my Spotify tango music playlists: https://imsotango.namastream.com/buy/product/70580

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In this episode, I explore the topic of jealousy in tango. I reflect on my personal experience with jealousy and how it has affected my relationships. I discuss the different types of jealousy that tango dancers experience, particularly focusing on the insecurities and fears that women often face. I emphasize the importance of embracing solitude and reconnecting with oneself to overcome jealousy. I also highlight the significance of communication and trust in navigating jealousy within a relationship. Takeaways - Jealousy is a common experience in tango, particularly for women who may feel insecure about their partner's attraction to others. - Embracing solitude and reconnecting with oneself can help overcome jealousy and foster personal growth. - Communication and trust are essential in navigating jealousy within a relationship. - It is important to remember that one's identity is not solely defined by their relationship and to prioritize personal growth and happiness. Join my private FaceBook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sotangoworld Sign up for my weekly NEWSLETTER: https://newsletter.imsotango.com/ Questions/comments? Reach out to me⁣⁣⁣⁣ Web: imsotango.com⁣ Email: connect@imsotango.com⁣⁣⁣⁣ Facebook⁣ @‌IMSO Tango⁣⁣⁣ Instagram @‌imso_tango

In this episode, I delve into the mysterious dynamics of tango chemistry, exploring how dancers navigate preferences for a more successful dance experience. I share my own personal preference and what I consider to be indicators of whether I would have good chemistry with someone or not.

Main points:

- The shape and tension of the embrace can indicate the level of the dancer and the comfort of the dance.

- Observing a dancer’s body can provide insights into their balance and alignment.

- Size of steps and embellishments can affect the dance and chemistry between partners.

- Developing intuition and gut instincts can help in choosing dance partners.

- Understanding preferences and making informed decisions can lead to a more satisfying tango experience.

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In this episode I explore the concept of balance in tango, discussing common misconceptions and highlighting the crucial role of alignment. I discuss how tango resembles controlled falling and share practical exercises for improving solo movement balance. Addressing considerations for partner dancing, I differentiate between balance and stability. The episode emphasizes developing balance through solo movements, understanding mechanics, and adapting to a partner's movements.

Takeaways

Balance is an intrinsic property of the body and can be improved through focused practice.

Alignment plays a crucial role in maintaining balance and stability.

Tango can be seen as controlled falling, where the goal is to approximate the best place to land and be balanced.

Developing balance through solo movement and exploring one's own mechanics is essential.

Modulating the embrace and adapting to the partner's movements can help maintain balance while dancing.

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In this episode my sister (who is NOT a tango dancer, and IS an Emmy Award-winning journalist) interviews me about the world of DJing tango. We explore the challenges, nerves, and the artistry that go into DJing, unraveling the complexities of this strange ritual. From the importance of knowing the tango music canon to the struggles of finding good DJ mentors, we discuss it all.

In a nutshell:

- DJing in the tango community can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially for first-time DJs.

- Knowing the canon of tango music and understanding what songs are danceable is crucial for DJs.

- Seeking guidance and education from experienced DJs can help new DJs improve their skills.

- There is a need for more DJ education and support within the tango community.

- Finding good DJ teachers in the tango community can be challenging due to the introverted nature of DJs and the lack of standardized teaching methods.

- Tango DJing is a labor of love and not primarily driven by financial motives.

- The subjectivity of DJing makes it difficult to receive honest feedback and evaluate the quality of DJ performances.

- Open conversations and a deeper musical understanding among dancers are crucial for improving the quality of DJing in the tango community.

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In this episode, I discuss my experiences and insights on traveling for tango events. Travel preferences are very subjective and personal factors such as physical and mental well-being can greatly impact your enjoyment of an event. I share suggestions and tips on how to make the best of your tango travel.

SoCal Tango Champinoship: https://socaltangochampionship.com/

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In this episode, I discuss the common experience of not wanting to dance with someone anymore and the associated feelings of guilt and embarrassment.

I explore both interpersonal and technical reasons for this change in preference and share my own strategies for navigating these situations.

Valentango Tango Festival: https://valentango.us/

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Tango is famous for confusing people to the point that you might forget how to walk for a second or two. In this banter Alex and I cast a wide net as we talk about the parallels between tango and art. We then explore a few of the tango concepts that cause the most confusion and debate among dancers and share personal stories about making sense of tango over time.

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FOMO (fear of missing out) is a common experience for tango dancers. Throughout the year we see videos and pictures from exotic locations of beautiful dancers having a lot of fun and we wish we knew about it before it happened.

How do you find out tango events and how to do you make sure they are right for you?

In this episode, I discuss the process of finding the right tango events to attend. I share my strategies for gathering information about events through social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram, as well as various ways of making connections with dancers in different tango communities around the world.

El Motivo Tango Marathon: https://www.facebook.com/events/274090748877392

Tango Partner App: https://tangopartner.com/

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In this episode, Alex and I reflect on our tango experiences in 2023. We share some of our insights and lessons learned throughout the year. Overall, we discuss the joys and challenges of being social tango dancers and the impact it has on our lives.

In a nutshell:

Reflecting on the year allows for personal growth and appreciation of tango experiences.

Dancing with a crush can be both exciting and nerve-wracking, but it offers a unique opportunity for growth.

Workshops and classes can provide new insights and techniques to enhance one's tango journey.

Traveling for tango requires careful planning and consideration of personal preferences and comfort.

Choosing a memorable hotel experience can greatly enhance the overall tango trip.

Check out:

Cerkan and Cecilia: @‌cecilia_serkan

Hotel Kabuki San Francisco: https://www.hyatt.com/en-US/hotel/california/jdv-hotel-kabuki/sfojd?src=corp_lclb_gmb_seo_sfojd

Loop Earplugs: https://us.loopearplugs.com/

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In this episode I'm delving into the captivating world of tango as an addiction, exploring why I consider it to be an unparalleled pleasure fix. Picture those heart-fluttering, toe-tapping vibes that beckon you back for more – akin to savoring your favorite delicacy, but with a rhythmic twist. Tango is more than just a dance; it's an invitation to an exclusive realm where emotions run deep. We transcend reality and immerse ourselves in a space where we can authentically be ourselves, sans the melodrama. Now, let's get real. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. Here I unravel the intricacies of my personal tango journey, from the highs to the necessary trade-offs. Here's the abridged version: - Tango Feels: the allure of intimacy. - More Tango, Please: we need that daily/weekly fix - Escape: we get to press pause on life - Hive Mind: we want to feel together (even when we want to be alone) - Balancing Act: Navigating tango while not losing your grip on reality. After all, sanity is a valuable commodity. Top 10 non-Amazon gifts for your tango friends https://imsotango.com/blog/top-10-non-amazon-gifts-for-your-tango-friends Join my private FaceBook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/sotangoworld Sign up for my weekly NEWSLETTER: https://newsletter.imsotango.com/ Questions/comments? Reach out to me⁣⁣⁣⁣ Web: imsotango.com⁣ Email: connect@imsotango.com⁣⁣⁣⁣ Facebook⁣ @‌IMSO Tango⁣⁣⁣ Instagram @‌imso_tango

In this episode, I discuss the topic of body image, particularly in the context of tango. I share my personal struggles and experiences with body image and explore the impact of societal beauty standards on dancers.

Takeaways

- Body image is an evergreen topic that affects many people, including those in the tango community.

- Beauty standards in tango can create challenges and insecurities for dancers.

- Grace, presence, and self-acceptance are more important than conforming to societal beauty standards.

- Focusing on aspects of your body and movement that you can control can lead to a more positive body image in tango.

Check out Brianna Connel on Instagram @briannaraefitness

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Do you want to know what my cat thinks about rejection? In this episode you can hear all of his opinions as Alex and I banter on the subject.

Rejection is hardly black and white when it comes to the tango dance floor. Sometime no can mean just no for this tanda, other times it’s something different. How do you decide?

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Whether you dance ballet, tango, or hip hop, at some point all of us come face to face with some form of physical limitations. What we do with and about those limitations directly influences our ability to continue dancing.

This is what Carolyn Stoklosa and I banter about in this episode. Carolyn is a physical therapist and draws on her extensive experience as a professional ballet dancer to help dancers overcome injuries and develop mobility.

Check out Carolyn’s website: https://www.physiodancer.com

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Tango gives us a lot of things to be grateful for but most of the time we might take them for granted. We are used to being able to go out on a regular basis and spend a few hours hugging people and listening to amazing music. One day I hope there is a way to measure brain activity while we dance... There is nothing like it! And most people in the world don't know of anything like this.

In this episode I banter about "the little things that make all the difference." And in the context of gratitude and tango, those little things always seem to do with the way we perceive and value ourselves. How can we be more grateful to and for ourselves? I share a fun thought exercise at the end of the episode, try it out and let me know how it goes!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Thank you for dancing tango!

LEARN MORE about the upcoming event at Candela here: https://www.facebook.com/events/592965082858185/?ref=newsfeed

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Some people you LOVE dancing with. With others... you dance for other reasons. Sometimes these "other" dances are lovingly referred to as "charity" or "community service" tandas.

For our first "together" episode, my husband Alex and I tackle this somewhat uncomfortable topic. I have never met a tango dancer who was not at least somewhat conflicted on this issue. What do you think?

Post your response in the comments or reach out to us!

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Giving and receiving feedback is a necessary skill that we have to develop in order to progress, both in tango and in life. But why is it so difficult? Why does it cause so much tension and what can we do to make the process more effective (and pleasant!)?

In this episode I banter about my own struggle with giving/receiving feedback and some of the methods I developed over the years of teaching to make this process more successful.

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What limits us social dancers most is not the technical stuff, but rather the psychological and emotional stuff. Tango is notorious for causing conflict and many couples break up after starting to learn this dance, at least that’s what happened for me.

In this episode I banter about the source of most tango conflicts - the question of “whose fault is it?” when something is not working correctly. I dive deep into my own experience of figuring out the answer to that question and how we can learn to transform the emotional charge of that question to something more constructive that ultimately serves to make us better dancers (and better human beings).

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/cLfrc-oe9yM

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Continuing our discussion from last week, in this episode I go over the most common complaints I hear from leaders in regards to followers. There is some overlap here, but there are certain things that followers in particular should keep in mind to make their partner's experience more comfortable and enjoyable.

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/LEW7T74KbSM

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Nobody is perfect, but the social dance floor is not the place to air our grievances. So many things remain unsaid and dancers remain unaware that certain habits and behaviors make a poor impression and prevent them from getting more dances.

In this episode I tackle some of the major complaints that followers have of tango leaders and provide suggestions for how to remedy the situation.

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/vmYTUfqdvmc

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“If you want to get more dances, just wear a shorter skirt!” my tango friend exclaimed as if it was SO simple! But I believed him, and that’s what I did early on as a dancer. And it worked… but not really.

In this inaugural Tango Banter aired in January 2022, I share some of my personal story of how I got into tango, why, what it was that drew me into it and ultimately, what ended up transforming me as a person.

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/9xxPVltY1tU

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Is dating another tango dancer a good idea? How do you deal with all the inevitable emotional ups and downs it can bring? ⁣
⁣
These are the questions I'm tackling in this episode and I share a few insights that I have gained over the 12 years of romantic relationships in tango.⁣

Oxygen Tango Milonga Thursday night November 2, info will post here: https://www.facebook.com/oxygentango

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If you've ever felt at a disadvantage in tango because of your age, you’re not alone. Many (if not most) women in tango feel somehow disempowered by their age, especially once we start getting over 40. We start doubting our abilities to attract the dancers we want…

In this episode I dive into the topic of women, women’s age, and how it impacts our experience of tango. 

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It's common to hit a wall, or multiple walls, when learning tango. You might open yourself up to working with new teachers or signing up for a tango competition, only to realize that you know less than you thought, your have to unlearn a bunch of stuff, and there are all sorts of things wrong with your dance.

In this episode I banter about how this happened (repeatedly) for me and some of the things that ended up helping me get to the other side.

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Starting tango with your girlfriend/boyfriend is typically the worst idea for your relationship. It’s a common story tango dancers jokingly retell, of how they came to tango because of someone, and then that someone didn’t pan out, but tango did.

But this banter is not about the typical story. There are those few cases where both the love of the relationship and the love of tango are able to coexist at the same time. This is where this banter starts and from there meanders to discuss the other nooks and crannies of living as a tango dancers.

In this episode I banter with Christos Kouroupetroglou who, like me, began to share his tango musings online during the pandemic, but in blog form. You can check out his blog here: https://goodnighttango.com/

Photo courtesy of: https://www.facebook.com/gothamfotografiaNYC 

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/A7ogO6A_eso

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Does getting older put you at a disadvantage on the dance floor and lead to getting less dances? For many women this has been the case, and unfair instances of ageism are common topics of conversation at the milonga.

But some women defy the norms and tap into other, less common strategies for getting the dances that they want. Today my guest is Sarah Pettit, who at age 67, regularly travels and dances tango around the world. In this episode we banter about her dance journey and how she learned to make tango work for her, rather than the other way around.

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There are many things out there we could learn how to do, and plenty of them we don’t really care to… But then there are other things (like trying partner dancing, or rollerskating, or surfing) that trigger a particular blend of longing and intimidation when we witness someone else doing it.

We feel like we would love to do it so much, but there is just no way we ever could… This banter is about THAT feeling and my own recent experience with it.

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There are many paths to tango. Some people fell in love with the music first, others saw it in “Scent of a Woman (and it’s not even tango!), and then there are some who start their dance journey by playing Dance Dance Revolution.

For this episode my guest is Stephen Aldaco who has lived a riveting life of adventure and dance exploration. We only got to scratch the surface here, I think I am going to have to invite him for a follow up… Let me know what you think

Check out my upcoming teaching/Djing dates at https://imsotango.com/ 

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/5lXwuJFVExs

Stephen Aldaco on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@StephenAldaco
Stephen Aldaco on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephen_aldaco/

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Tango seems so fancy at first, so many moves to learn, so much technique. But you talk to any seasoned dancer and they will tell you it’s really not about the moves… it’s really something else.

What is it that we are after on the dance floor? And what value do we bring to our dance with another person? This is what this banter is all about.

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Marathons have been a significant component of most dancers' yearly schedule. We joke that we plan our lives around the yearly tango events.

But something has been missing, it seems, and in this episode I banter about what tango marathons are about, why some of us are feeling dissatisfied and what we can do about it.

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Tango may take a lifetime to master, but what are the most essential building blocks that lead to the most payoff as quickly as possible?

In this episode I banter about the commonly overlooked and forgotten tango skills that, when developed, can totally transform one’s tango experience.

TANGO SUMMER SPECIAL: https://imsotango.namastream.com/product/62377 

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To develop as a social tango dancer you need to work on 3 things: movement, musicality, mindset. Of these, mindset is the most challenging to master and is the one most responsible for people leaving tango.

In this episode I dive into some surprisingly common feelings and emotions that plague the majority of dancers, regardless of their level and experience.

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What was tango like in Buenos Aires in the 1970? Is it possible to imagine a person who only speaks in tango lyrics? Is tango socialist or capitalist at it’s core?

These are just some of the questions Oliver Kolker and I banter about in this episode.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/WfmFPsBb5JM

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We've all been there. You accept a cabeceo, walk across, take the embrace, and realize that the next 12 minutes are going to be hell. Well maybe not hell, but still, very unpleasant. What do you do? How do you survive/endure/thrive in that kind of situation? Is it even possible?

In this episode I ponder the reasons for such unfortunate experiences and how we can make them easier on our bodies and our spirits.

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Watch the episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Tgjgz5Xoxmo

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Tango is a sexy dance. It makes us feel things we had never known are possible. It is euphoric and blissful, it makes us delirious with new kinds of desires, feelings, sensations.

But sometimes this newfound raw power can expose us to painful and even traumatic experiences.

In this episode I banter about my own sensual awakening that transformed my life and the windy path I took to learning how to wield this amazing energy in tango.

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/lOf1_Xt81_4
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Most people who start tango have to face many emotional obstacles and some don’t succeed. Those who do somehow manage to develop the skills to deal with the intense emotional and psychological pressure that this dance frequently imposes on us.

In this episode we banter about what these major obstacles are and how to develop the necessary skills to overcome them.

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Watch the full episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ybwWO8z-hRs

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Tango has changed a lot since it first began at the beginning of the 20th century. One of the main shifts revolves about the power dynamics between men and women and women stepping up and learning to lead.

Not everyone is excited about this change because change in general is difficult and uncomfortable. 

In this episode I ponder our relationship to change and my perspective on how tango has been evolving over the past 100+ years.

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Tangamente June 29-July 2: https://www.tangamentesf.com/ 

Tango Documentary: https://youtu.be/7dNgc3w1CQQ

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So frequently in tango our biggest breakthroughs happen when we are somehow breaking down, when we lose hope, or feel like there is no way we are going to figure it out.

In this episode I banter about my own journey through the ongoing  discomfort of breakdowns and breakthroughs in my tango and how I learned to use them for personal empowerment and growth.

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/WeYeSQZHlZo

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What limits us social dancers most is no the technical stuff, but rather the psychological and emotional stuff. Tango is notorious for causing conflict and many couples break up after starting to learn this dance, at least that’s what happened for me.

In this episode I banter about the source of most tango conflicts - the question of “whose fault is it?” when something is not working correctly. I dive deep into my own experience of figuring out the answer to that question and how we can learn to transform the emotional charge of that question to something more constructive that ultimately serves to make us better dancers (and better human beings).

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/h2Vml59c1gg

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Some people start tango because they fall in love with the music or love the dance, others start it because they have to stop doing Japanese Kendo. This was the case for Toshi Takeuchi, my guest for this episode.

In our banter we touched on a variety of interesting aspects of tango including how different tango is in Japan, the similarities between kendo and tango, and how to cabeceo when you can’t make eye contact.

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Ppolc3kzPRk

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Do you find that certain clothes make you dance better than others? Sometimes it’s about the way the outfit feels on your body as you move with your partner. Other times it’s how it looks to you as you catch your reflection in the mirror and it fuels your confidence on the dance floor.

In this episode I indulge in a banter about one of the biggest loves in my life… clothes. Or specifically, their ability to take us to places of feeling and experiencing ourselves in a new way on the dance floor.

Come dance with us at LA Tango Marathon: https://www.latangomarathon.com/

**Use code LAMeow23 in the “Message” field when registering and the a FREE T-shirt!

Listen to my review of last year’s LA Tango Marathon: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7Bmic7kJ7JUsXvncN2OvzG?si=f3b2aea0392b4cb8

Watch this episode on YouTube:  https://youtu.be/fVyBjTgBEO0

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In tango, “connection” is the Holy Grail, everyone talks about it, everybody is after it. But what exactly is it and how do you know you have it? 

In this episode I banter about the various perspectives on the idea of connection I had over the years and my two cents on how to get more of it from your dancing.

Come dance with us at LA Tango Marathon: https://www.latangomarathon.com/

**Use code LAMeow23 in the “Message” field when registering and the a FREE T-shirt!

Listen to my review of last year’s LA Tango Marathon: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7Bmic7kJ7JUsXvncN2OvzG?si=f3b2aea0392b4cb8

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In today’s episode you will meet Lozita Onsy, an Egyptian auto engineer living and dancing in Germany who has been a dedicated Banter listener for some time. Lozita reached out to me on social media when she was visiting LA, and like you, I was instantly curious about her. So we met up one afternoon at my house for a much anticipated in-person banter.

In our conversation we talk about the various facets of tango and how it plays a different role at different stages of life. Lozita also shared her story about how and why she started tango, as well as how it felt to move to a different country and have to integrate into a whole new community.

So sit back, relax and enjoy the warm company of Lozita Onsy

Come dance with us at LA Tango Marathon: https://www.latangomarathon.com/

**Use code LAMeow23 in the “Message” field when registering and the a FREE T-shirt!

Listen to my review of last year’s LA Tango Marathon: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7Bmic7kJ7JUsXvncN2OvzG?si=f3b2aea0392b4cb8

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7liVb_V98rU

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When it comes to attraction we are all highly individual. What might be attractive to one person might repulse another. And what you like when you first start tango might change over time as your taste changes.

In this episode I banter about the evolution of my taste and how the object of my attraction has changed over the years that I have been dancing tango.

Come dance with us at LA Tango Marathon: https://www.latangomarathon.com/

**Use code LAMeow23 in the “Message” field when registering and the a FREE T-shirt!

Listen to my review of last year’s LA Tango Marathon: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7Bmic7kJ7JUsXvncN2OvzG?si=f3b2aea0392b4cb8

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ChWrrM82nNE

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No matter where in the world you learn to dance tango, at some point most dancers find themselves on a pilgrimage to Buenos Aires - the place where tango never sleeps. There is something special about dancing tango specifically in that city. The the culture, the history, the vibe - all have something to contribute to a sort of “widening” of our tango horizons.

This is what Eugene Lewins and I banter about in this episode. It’s his first time to go to Buenos Aires, and after two months there her reflects on the changes he has undergone both in his dance and life.

Come dance with us at LA Tango Marathon: https://www.latangomarathon.com/

**Use code LAMeow23 in the “Message” field when registering and the a FREE T-shirt!

Listen to my review of last year’s LA Tango Marathon: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7Bmic7kJ7JUsXvncN2OvzG?si=f3b2aea0392b4cb8

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There is no doubt that dancing tango can transport us into a different dimension of experience, where we can feel and see things in a completely new and novel ways. Our perception alters and we find ourselves coming closer to something sacred, even spiritual.

Tango is not the only way to access this state. For me, before tango, it was through yoga that I found my way to this place. And having done yoga alongside tango for many years, I love exploring how the two movement systems (and even philosophies) overlap and inform each other. In this episode I invite you to dive deep into exploring this more esoteric and poetic side of tango.

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/jTbNufELQuQ

LA Tango Marathon: https://www.latangomarathon.com/

**Use code LAMeow23 in the “Message” field when registering and the a FREE T-shirt!

Listen to my review of last year’s LA Tango Marathon: https://open.spotify.com/episode/7Bmic7kJ7JUsXvncN2OvzG?si=f3b2aea0392b4cb8

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How does an engineering student from Iran end up dancing tango in Louisiana? In this banter I sit down with my good friend Maziar Amirani whom I met on the dance floor in Portland, OR almost a decade ago. Maziar is a prominent figure on the social dance floors across the US and in our conversation we discuss the circumstances of his falling in love with tango and how he manages to maintain a full time job while being a tango nomad.

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/20nfqhSsrMA 

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“I wish I had started dancing earlier” I hear from certain dancers, while others say something like “I couldn’t have handled tango when I was younger.” So what is the idea age to start dancing tango, or to start dancing in general.

In this episode I explore this question by diving into my own history of and relationship to dance, how it evolved over time and what I have learned about myself through the process.

Watch my performance with Tanya: https://imsotango.com/sctc-video 

Wanna be on the Tango Banter? Apply here: https://imsotango.com/banter

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Some say that you don’t find tango, but that tango finds you. It finds you when you’re ready. For some, like me, it means starting in late 20s but for others it can be much later. You could even get introduced to tango or hear a tango song somewhere and then not start dancing it until a decade later. 

Something like this happened to Tanya Magid, a long time social dancer who didn’t start tango until her late 40s. In this episode we discuss and compare notes on how tango is different for people depending on their age and the kinds of challenges/opportunities that brings.

Wanna be on the Tango Banter? Apply here: https://imsotango.com/banter

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/FNmZq-yJsq4

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To many social dancers, the idea of competing in tango is unthinkable. For other dancers, the challenge of competing in tango is rewarding and pushes them artistically. Having been an avid social dancer I always was curious what the world of tango competitions was all about.

In this episode I share  my recent experience as a competitor at the Southern California Tango Championship and some of the insights that I came away with.

You can watch my performance at SCTC here: https://imsotango.com/sctc-video

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bJujFp7-VI8

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We all want to be good enough so that we get to have more of what we want. And most of us dancers are willing to do the work, take the classes, sign up for workshops, do private sessions, etc. in pursuit of that goal.

But frequently, no matter how much time passes or how much work we put in, we still don't feel like we measure up with the level of "good" we think we are supposed to reach.

In this episode I discuss what this concept of "good enough" really means on our tango journey, and how we can successfully orient ourselves within it so that we get what we want.

I’m DJing at LA Tango Marathon in May: https://www.latangomarathon.com/

Apply to be on the Tango Banter: https://imsotango.com/banter

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"Like a moth to a flame," romance is difficult to resist and many fall under its spell (myself included). It can bring the best and deepest experiences but also cause incredible heartache and pain. But in addition to that, what impact does romance have on our actual dance?

In this episode I chew on this issue of romance and share some of my own romantic history and how it has shaped my dance.

I’m DJing at LA Tango Marathon in May: https://www.latangomarathon.com/

Apply to be on the Tango Banter: https://imsotango.com/banter

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The way it feels when you step onto a warmly lit dance floor into a friendly embrace among dozens of other people is a very different experience from walking onto a stage with a spotlight over your head, hundreds of eyes watching your every move. Both might be called tango, both might be considered "dance." But for us social dancers, there is a massive hard-to-describe difference in how it feels.

In this episode I wade through my own experiences in search for a meaningful way to describe the subtle, yet profound, differences in these two states of being how they might influence our dance.

Essential Layers of a Tango Song Musicality Seminar: https://imsotango.namastream.com/product/58271

I'm dancing/competing at the Souther California Tango Championship: https://www.socaltangochampionship.com/

I’m DJing at LA Tango Marathon in May: https://www.latangomarathon.com/

Apply to be on the Tango Banter: https://imsotango.com/banter

Join my private FaceBook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1281203268944812

Questions/comments? Reach out to me⁣⁣⁣⁣
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We've all been there. You accept a cabeceo, walk across, take the embrace, and realize that the next 12 minutes are going to be hell. Well maybe not hell, but still, very unpleasant. What do you do? How do you survive/endure/thrive in that kind of situation? Is it even possible?

In this episode I ponder the reasons for such unfortunate experiences and how we can make them easier on our bodies and our spirits.

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Continuing our discussion from last week, in this episode I go over the most common complaints I hear from leaders in regards to followers. There is some overlap here, but there are certain things that followers in particular should keep in mind to make their partner's experience more comfortable and enjoyable.

LA Tango Marathon: https://www.latangomarathon.com/

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Nobody is perfect, but the social dance floor is not the place to air our grievances. So many things remain unsaid and dancers remain unaware that certain habits and behaviors make a poor impression and prevent them from getting more dances.

In this episode I tackle some of the major complaints that followers have of tango leaders and provide suggestions for how to remedy the situation.

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Gender/role imbalance in tango has been a hot topic of conversation and debate for a long time. What to do about? Taxi dancing is one of the ways dancers can take matters into their own hands, bypass the whole cabeceo game, and get the dances that they want. But it is a viable strategy for the tango communities at large?

In this episode I reflect on my experience at the Puerto Vallarta Tango Festival where taxi dancing was a prominent component of the milongas. I share my observations of the effect taxi dancing potentially has on the energy and culture of the milonga space.

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Most people assume that in tango (as in life) men are supposed to lead and women are supposed to follow. But in recent years our perception and understanding of roles in tango has been changing, reflecting the changes we are experiencing in the larger context of life.

In this episode I banter about my journey into understanding the challenges and rewards of each role and how exploring both can contribute to more holistic development of our dance.

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You start tango one day, and the next you're wondering... "how long this going to take?" If you're asking yourself that question, you are not the only one. We all want to know how long it's going to take us to get good and what we need to do to get there as fast as possible.

In this episode I ponder the idea of what "good" means and what tools dancers need to get there.

Women Leading Tango - Santa Barbara: https://imsotango.namastream.com/product/56483

Puerto Vallarta Tango Festival: https://pvtangofestival.com/

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So you've started learning tango, now what? You might be excited, overwhelmed, confused, or a little bit of everything. What are the most important/helpful insights to keep in mind about tango to help you adapt and progress.

In this episode I share some of my most impactful insights that made the most difference in my journey to becoming a successful social dancer.

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It's a new year and a new perspective on what kinds of evolution social tango is going to undergo over the next years. How tango evolves depends very much on the evolution of the people who dance it.

In this episode I ponder the ways tango has changed over the past decades and where it might be heading next.

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Tango is an acquired taste. It takes a long time to learn and maybe even longer to get what you want out of it. So how do you know whether to keep going or to go ahead and throw in the towel?

In this episode I banter about the best reasons to part with tango, but also about what is NOT a good reason to leave and scenarios when you should keep at it even though it sucks.

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Sometimes it's just butterflies in your stomach, other times you're shaking like a leaf and sweating bullets. Social situations and general, and tango in particular, can shake up those nerves and make you run for the hills. Everyone experiences it, no matter the level, and nobody is immune.

In this episode I chat about different strategies I have adopted over the years to deal with my own social anxiety and paranoia. 

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Whether you love it or loathe it, cabeceo is one of tango's most important conventions. Understanding the rules of cabeceo and knowing how to apply them (and how to break them gracefully) is crucial to succeeding on the social dance floor.

In this episode I share some general guidelines for performing cabeceo properly and how to use it to your advantage so that you get the dances you want.

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Whether it's losing a friend, or a lover, breakups are never easy. No matter how many times we might go through something like this, it's rarely clear what the "right" thing to do is, or how to act "appropriately."

In this episode I dive into some of the subtleties and nuances of the break up process and talk about the various strategies we can try to ease the process.

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For some tango is a destination. For others it is a means to an end. For Risa Benson, continuing to dance is a way of insisting on life itself. This is the quality that first drew me to Risa when I met her online through one of my workshops.

In this episode I sit down with Risa to talk about the role that tango has played in her life and her experiences that served to make her who she is today.

12-Month Musicality Training starting January 2023: https://imsotango.com/musicality2023

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Tango festivals and marathons are a great opportunity to experience some amazing tango. You've been thinking about but you're not sure if you have what it takes. What if you are just a beginner? What skills do you need to hone before going to that next level?

In this episode I share some practice advice on what skills you should get under your belt before heading to your first marathon or festival.

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Tango marathons and festivals can be extremely demanding on the physical body. To be able to dance for 6-10 hours a day for several days in a row requires an immense amount of energy and endurance. 

In this episode I share the most important things to consider if you're looking to to maximize your time on the dance floor while reducing the painful side effects of dancing so much.

Essential follower technique for dancing tango in flats: 
https://youtu.be/UBD7EzL1hNw

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I used to think getting good dances at a big tango event depended on my technical level and skill. But success at a tango festivals and marathons depends as much, if not more, on social strategies and interpersonal skills as on our actual dance technique.

In this episode I reveal my most effective strategies for navigating these big events and getting the tango that you really want.

Upcoming Online Event - Confronting fear to get the dances you want - November 10, 11-12:30pm - FREE - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/confronting-fear-to-get-the-dances-you-want-tickets-442713647437?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=cp&aff=escb

If you can't attend live, you can access the recording of the event here: https://www.danceinconversation.co.uk/

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If you hang around in social tango long enough, at some point you will start hearing about marathons and festivals and how much fun they are. And if you've been in tango long enough to have participated in these events, you know that there are pros and cons to both.

In this episode I share some of my thoughts about the two events, which I prefer and why. 

Upcoming Online Event - Confronting fear to get the dances you want - November 10, 11-12:30pm - FREE - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/confronting-fear-to-get-the-dances-you-want-tickets-442713647437?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=cp&aff=escb

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If you can't attend live, you can access the recording of the event here: https://www.danceinconversation.co.uk/

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Having a practice partner can do wonders for your tango, but frequently instead of progress we experience frustration. And rather than enjoying ourselves, we end up feeling even worse about our dance. Most of the time it has to do with what's happening internally and how we choose to show up with our partner (just like in relationships!).

In this episode I go over some of the most prominent ways that I have ruined my practice and how I learned to stop making the same mistakes again and again.

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How to Learn Skills Faster | Huberman Lab Podcast #20: https://youtu.be/xJ0IBzCjEPk

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There are so many things we are supposed to practice, and there is only so much time we have on our hands. So how do we decide what kind of things to focus on to get the most out of our practice time?

In this episode I dive a little deeper into my personal philosophy of how to practice in such a way that it's effective AND sustainable over a long time... even if you are super lazy like me :)

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Whether you want to practice towards a performance or improve your musicality, there are a number of considerations every dancer should take before agreeing to practice with someone. Because, let's face it, we are all a little different, with our unique preferences and learning styles.

In this episode I talk about what I consider to be the most important things to consider when choosing your practice partner and the steps you can take to ensure you get exactly what you want.

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Most will agree that practicing is an important aspect of getting better at anything, whether it's playing the piano or playing tennis. But when it comes to social tango, what kind of practice is important and effective is different for different people. Let's face it, not all of us like to drill patterns and choreography.

In this episode I talk about what the meaning of practice is for me and my thoughts on how every dancer can develop an effective and personalized tango practice that's fun and enjoyable.

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I don't like being a beginner at things. In fact, there are few things that I dislike more than that awkward and clumsy feeling you get when you start learning something new. It's been a while since I have felt this way, but recently I got an unexpected opportunity to dive back into this iconic experience.

In this more vulnerable episode I share my current, unresolved struggles with being a beginner and how I deal with all those pesky emotions that plague our beginners' minds.

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We all want to be good enough so that we get to have more of what we want. And most of us dancers are willing to do the work, take the classes, sign up for workshops, do private sessions, etc. in pursuit of that goal.

But frequently, no matter how much time passes or how much work we put in, we still don't feel like we measure up with the level of "good" we think we are supposed to reach.

In this episode I discuss what this concept of "good enough" really means on our tango journey, and how we can successfully orient ourselves within it so that we get what we want.

Rate/review Tango Banter: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tango-banter-confessions-of-a-social-dancer/id1610218111

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Not all tango teachers are created equal. And not all tango dancers have the same ambitions. Knowing your goals and understanding how to choose the right teacher to achieve those goals is one of the best ways to guarantee your success in tango.

In this episode I lay out some of my most important considerations for selecting the right teacher for you as well as some important questions for self-reflection that will help you make the right decisions.

FREE Course: Essential Tango Mechanics: https://imsotango.namastream.com/buy/product/52054

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When I was new to tango I thought the way to getting the dances I wanted required a high level of talent and technique. So my thinking was "the better I got technically, the better dances I would get." 

Unfortunately, when it comes to attracting the higher level dancers, I eventually realized that it really wasn't about my technique. There was something else at play that had nothing to do with my lines or my aesthetics. 

Reframing my mindset was the key to my eventual success in the social tango scene. In my latest episode I share my most useful social strategies for attracting the dancers that you really want. 

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"Why is she getting the good dances and I am not?" - used to be one of the most persistent questions running through my mind at a milonga. I had done the work - group classes, privates, technique training, workshops - but still I found myself sitting tanda after tanda sulking. Tango can be pretty brutal like that. 

Seemingly for no reason, it grants favor to some but not others. The "some" soak it in, taking it for granted. The "others" are left scratching their heads on the sidelines wondering... 

But the good news is that the solution to my problems was right under my nose all along. I just needed to change perspective. 

In this episode I  spill the beans on what I consider to be the most important reasons why you might not be getting the dances that you want and suggest some practical ways you can begin to take matters into your own capable hands. 

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"Who are the good dancers here?" "Is he/she any good?" Those are frequently uttered questions at the milonga and it's not surprising! 12 minutes is a long time to spend in someone's embrace and we want to make sure we enjoy it. 

Whether someone is good or not can be fairly subjective but there are certain things that stand out about good dancers that appeal to most of us. In this episode I reveal some of my preferences and things I look for when I am deciding whom to dance with at a milonga.

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We all want to say no to a dance sometimes, but frequently we don’t because we feel guilty. We don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings and maybe we are afraid that if we say no to one person, then we might have to sit out another tanda. 

The struggle is real! And although it does get easier with time, the awkward, difficult feelings that come with saying no to someone never really go away. Each dancer has to decide for themselves, when to say yes to a dance, and what are the dealbreakers that will make it a definite no.

In this episode I share my own dealbreakers and how they formed over the years.

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You’ve got the moves but you’re still not getting the dances you want? Succeeding at social tango doesn’t just require technical proficiency, but each dancer also has to learn how to navigate the sometimes unpredictable social environment of the milonga.

For many dancers, social discomfort is the main obstacle that prevents them from getting what they want and/or quitting tango all together.

In this episode I share some of my own challenges as a very shy and introverted person and the tools that I developed to become more confident in uncomfortable social situations.

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"What's your goal with tango?" I ask this question of all of my students, expecting them to share with me their ambitions to become stage performers or teach or become a DJ. Many of them shy away from answering, but those that have the courage to admit to what they really want say something along the lines of "I want to be a popular dancer that everybody wants to dance with..." 

I will be honest. This is what I wanted too and it took me a while to figure out what it takes: what skills, strategies, mindset, or talents. To me the answer is twofold: there is the technical side and the social side.

In this episode I spill the beans on what I consider to be the most effective technical elements for creating the success on the dance social dance floor that we all want.

Anatomy of a Tango Orchestra, Saturday, August 6. Info at http://imsotango.com

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They say the Golden Age of tango roughly covers 1935-1952 but what made it so... golden?

🤔 Was it the quality and the amount of highly innovative music?
🤔 Was it the high numbers of social dancers dancing all over the city every day and night?
🤔 Was it the high number of dance clubs that hosted milongas at all hours of the day?

Well, ALL OF THE ABOVE!

🤯 Imagine yourself rushing from one milonga to another to catch orchestras such as Pugliese, Di Sarli, or D'Arienzo playing live every day of the week. Imagine having to choose because they are all playing at the same time at different venues!😩  Imagine every milonga packed to the brim with dancers who are all as obsessed as you are. Imagine tango music playing everywhere, wafting through the city from every home radio... That's what it was like during those years.

A tango dancer's paradise I tell you...

🌺 So why did it happen? What triggered this tango frenzy? And could it happen again?
Well, according to Rodolfo Roballos - the director of Academy Tango Club in Buenos Aires - the key to bringing a new Golden Age in tango is training new musicians that form new orchestras, not just in Buenos Aires but in every major city around the world!

🌍 Who knows, maybe somewhere out there in the world is the next Troilo and Rodolfo wants to do everything he can to equip and empower regular people to become tango musicians.

Astor Piazzola - The Central Park Concert - https://youtu.be/-S0hO5wAxyw
La Academia Web: https://laacademiatangoclub.com/
La Academia Performance: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzOZspKM59k

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Self-doubt is one of the hallmark experiences in life and in tango it can be a particularly gnarly beast. It can break your spirit, paralyze you and sabotage you getting what you actually want.

So what do we do? How do we deal with the panic and anxiety that arises in response to it? What do we say to someone who experiences it? Let's bite into this one together.

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The first night I went to La Viruta in Buenos Aires I was terrified. Now, years later is the fear gone? Was I successful at eliminating that feeling of awkwardness and discomfort that plagues us at the beginning of starting something new and unfamiliar? 

In today's episode I reminisce about my early struggles in tango and how those initial experiences shaped my tango journey up to now.

DON'T FORGET!
“Understanding the essential layers of tango music” with Horacio Godoy
Saturday, July 9th 12-1:30pm Pacific time. 
Register at http://imsotango.com.

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Horacio Godoy is one of the most influential and renowned figures in social tango today. 

He’s filled every tango role possible: from performing in multiple tango companies, to his role as an internationally sought DJ and tango music expert, to being a guest maestro, judge, and consultant at festivals and mundials in over 40 countries. 

This year marks 31 years since Horacio began DJing tango and in this episode we banter about how he started, what he loves so much about tango, and his many artistic projects that serve to illuminate the musical history of this dance.

To experience his charismatic energy more fully, I invite you to join us for a special seminar with Horacio called “Understanding the essential layers of tango music” on Saturday, July 9th 12-1:30pm Pacific time. 

To learn more and register visit http://imsotango.com.

Early Bird discount ends this Saturday, July 2, 2022

Questions/comments? Reach out to me⁣⁣⁣⁣
Web: imsotango.com⁣
Email: connect@imsotango.com⁣⁣⁣⁣
Facebook⁣ @IMSO Tango⁣⁣⁣
Instagram @imso_tango

Tomorrow is my birthday and it's a BIG one. So I reflect on the the way my life has been going and how I got to where I am at. 

Questions/comments? Reach out to me⁣⁣⁣⁣
Web: imsotango.com⁣
Email: connect@imsotango.com⁣⁣⁣⁣
Facebook⁣ @IMSO Tango⁣⁣⁣
Instagram @imso_tango

Tango DJing is a field that has been historically dominated by men. Many blame the tango organizers for not giving more women DJs opportunities to play at large scale events. But to my eyes, this issue is not that simple and points to some underlying limiting beliefs that women (myself included), struggle to overcome in both tango and in life. 

Musicality Training for Dancers & Aspiring Tango DJs: http://imsotango.com
YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/yelizaveta_imsotango

Questions/comments? Reach out to me⁣⁣⁣⁣
Web: imsotango.com⁣
Email: connect@imsotango.com⁣⁣⁣⁣
Facebook⁣ @IMSO Tango⁣⁣⁣
Instagram @imso_tango

Of all the emotions tango incites in us, jealousy is the most difficult to deal with. Every dancer struggles with jealousy at some point and in this episode I talk about my own strategies  for dealing with this pesky emotion and what we can ultimately learn from it to empower ourselves.

Upcoming Musicality Training for Dancers & Aspiring Tango DJs: http://imsotango.com

Questions/comments? Reach out to me⁣⁣⁣⁣
Web: imsotango.com⁣
Email: connect@imsotango.com⁣⁣⁣⁣
Facebook⁣ @IMSO Tango⁣⁣⁣
Instagram @imso_tango

The first tango marathon in LA since 2019! How it felt, what I loved, what I wanted more of... that's the banter on the menu today.

Upcoming seminar with DJ Davin Quinn "Secrets of Tango on Vinyl": http://imsotango.com

Questions/comments? Reach out to me⁣⁣⁣⁣
Web: imsotango.com⁣
Email: connect@imsotango.com⁣⁣⁣⁣
Facebook⁣ @IMSO Tango⁣⁣⁣
Instagram @imso_tango