Wanting It More: The Truth about Low Sex Drive in Women

Colin grew up with two therapist parents, one of whom was a sex therapist. He learned a lot about emotions, sex, safety, consent, and talking openly from them. These things were really important to him and shaped his core values as he became a man. His wife also thought he was very caring, gentle, and understanding. But despite this, their sex life got worse over the 20 years they were married, and neither of them knew why.

Colin talks with Janna about the big things he painfully realized that were missing from his sexual education. It was hard for him to accept these truths, but now he sees hope for a better relationship with his wife and more fulfilling intimacy in the future.

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Kelly loved her husband of 20 years, but she noticed a change in her feelings toward intimacy over time, and she couldn't understand why. After some of their friends surprised them with divorce news, her husband worried about their own relationship, even though Kelly felt secure. 

He thought the solution was for him to become more attractive, so he started working out, buying new clothes, and even got a tattoo. However, Kelly felt his efforts had the opposite effect, making her feel “like a fly trapped in a spider's web.” The more he tried to be appealing, the less interested she became. But why was that? 

Thankfully, Janna shared her insights with Kelly and she finally discovered the missing pieces of the puzzle, understanding the real reasons behind her low desire. Now, she and her husband are finding positive and healthy ways to reignite their intimacy.

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Nancy unfolds her 71-year journey, delving into three significant relationships and the tumultuous experiences within each. Enduring emotional abandonment, financial instability, and a constant sense of being invisible and invalidated, she shares the poignant struggle of feeling like a solitary voice crying out, yet unheard.

However, amidst this turmoil, her narrative takes a turn when she encounters Janna. With her, Nancy discovers the language to articulate her life's journey and, notably, finds solace in connecting with other women who echo similar stories, offering her the support she longed for.

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Why are women conditioned to endure pain? Natalie reveals the multitude of reasons she persisted through painful sexual experiences with her husband for 27 years of their marriage. It wasn’t until she discovered Wanting It More that she realized the detrimental extent of what she was subjecting her body and mind to in order to fulfill societal expectations of being a good wife and meeting her husband's needs.

Due to inadequate sexual education and a lack of support, she remained unaware that experiencing pain wasn’t normal until recently. Janna and Natalie delve into the various factors contributing to why women tolerate pain, why they hesitate to seek assistance, and the toll it takes on their relationships. Natalie also shares what she’s learned about genuine intimacy and connection, highlighting significant improvements in her relationship with her husband.

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David’s wife spent years expressing her dissatisfaction with their sex life, repeatedly sharing her feelings, but David remained skeptical. Despite her efforts, he couldn't accept her perspective. Influenced by adult entertainment and misinformation, he believed he was doing everything right, yet she didn't respond as expected, leading him to conclude there was something wrong with her. Throughout their 22 years together, he doubted her words.

Then he stumbled upon Janna’s podcast. Hearing women articulate the same sentiments as his wife and men voicing feelings of shame and unworthiness resonated deeply with him. Finally, he acknowledged the truth of his wife's concerns. He became open to listening and learning.

David reflects on how the misinformation ingrained in his childhood seemed more credible than his wife's expressions. Learning from Janna, he's finally found a pathway to genuine connection and pleasure in his marriage at the age of 65.

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Michele bravely opens up about her tumultuous journey through relationships as a woman in her late 50s. She recounts the harrowing experiences of enduring compulsive lying, cheating, porn and sex addiction, abuse, and a pervasive lack of consent. Amidst the darkness, she discovered a beacon of hope in Janna, whose guidance led Michele on a transformative path towards healing and empowerment.

Michele sheds light on her arduous quest for safety and fulfillment in her current relationship. With Janna's support, she embarks on a profound journey of self-discovery, reclaiming agency over her own desires and experiences. This episode sheds light on the complexities of navigating trauma and rebuilding trust in the pursuit of authentic intimacy and self-empowerment.

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We delve into Raina's journey of rediscovering her desire for sex within her marriage. Despite a healthy upbringing with decent sexual education, positive body image, and safe and secure sexual experiences, Raina found herself losing interest in intimacy with her husband after getting married.

After starting a personal journey which she affectionately calls ‘Raina’s Religious Rebellion’ she began exploring how some of the concepts taught by her church around sex in marriage were harmful. This knowledge allowed her to get mad but didn’t offer real solutions. She started therapy to confront her sexual misgivings, which gave her the why but didn’t fully explain her feelings of low desire. She also had an unexpected hysterectomy, which made her body feel foreign and strange. It wasn’t until Janna’s program that she was able to put all the pieces of her sexual history together and have it make sense, providing her with a comprehensive understanding of her feelings.

Raina shares her ongoing efforts to reconnect with her husband through curious, playful, and meaningful steps, allowing her desire to gradually return. She also talks about her recent hysterectomy, the intricacies of recovery, and her ongoing healing to this day.

REFERENCES:

Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers: Sex, God & the Conservative Church

Sheila Gregoire: The Great Sex Rescue

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When Lisa took the Wanting It More program a couple of years ago, she never imagined the valuable lessons she learned to improve her low libido would also come in handy when confronting a medical issue.

Lisa talks in detail about her struggles with body image anxiety and gynecological exams that accompanied her journey to the diagnosis of Lichen Sclerosus, a rare skin disease that causes itchy and painful patches on the vulva. She shares her insights on coping with the diagnosis, navigating the intricacies of the medical system as a woman, and finding solace from the education she received in WIM. She speaks candidly about how this journey has impacted her body confidence and her intimate relationship with her husband, offering hope and inspiration to those facing similar challenges.

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Kyle’s career in law enforcement defined him as a safe person, dedicating his life to keeping his community and those who live in it safe from harm. Imagine his surprise when he learned the root cause behind his dwindling sex life was because his wife felt unsafe around him. It took him several weeks of coaching with Janna to really understand the meaning of the word unsafe in the context of Wanting It More - his wife felt unsafe to share her true feelings without negative consequences like guilt, shame, or blame. It wasn’t about her physical safety that was causing her low sexual desire; it was the lack of emotional safety.

Through guidance from Janna and reflection on his upbringing, Kyle recognized the impact of societal norms on his behavior. Embracing accountability and growth through the Wanting It More program, Kyle transformed his approach, prioritizing emotional connection and mutual respect. His commitment revitalized their communication and reignited passion, underscoring the transformative power of fostering emotional safety within relationships and highlighting that change, rooted in empathy and dedication, can lead to profound intimacy and fulfillment in marriage.

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We delve into Laura's journey as a 40-year-old mother of three, navigating the intersection of her strong Christian faith and her sexuality. Growing up with little education about sex, Laura found herself prioritizing her partner's desires in the bedroom while neglecting her own. Struggling to balance her intuition with the teachings of her faith community, she grappled with conflicting messages about love, forgiveness, and sexual morality.

However, a turning point came when Janna encouraged her to trust her intuition in the bedroom, mirroring how she had relied on it in her spiritual practice. Through this newfound perspective, Laura learned to challenge societal norms, embracing her worthiness and agency in her sexual experiences and breaking free from societal expectations to embrace her authentic self. This episode show’s how trusting one's inner voice can lead to greater fulfillment and empowerment in all aspects of life.

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In this podcast episode we meet Nate, a devout Christian and father whose misconceptions about intimacy led to strain in his marriage of 15 years. Raised on media for his sexual education, Nate found himself bewildered by the disparity between his expectations and reality in the bedroom. It wasn't until he and his wife took the Wanting It More program that they uncovered years of unspoken discomfort and miscommunication, prompting Nate to reevaluate the absence of crucial teachings on sexual safety and consent within his Christian upbringing.

Nate's journey underscores the vital role of open communication and understanding in relationships. Through introspection and dialogue, he learned to prioritize his wife's comfort and safety, reshaping his Christian beliefs to embrace a more inclusive and empathetic approach to love and intimacy. Join us as we explore Nate's inspiring story, shedding light on the transformative power of honest conversations and the intersection of spirituality and personal growth.

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Thilla shares her journey as a first-generation Canadian, shaped by her Sri Lankan heritage and North American upbringing. Raised in a family where discussions about sex were taboo and dating was reserved for an arranged marriage, she faced immense pressure and conflicting messages from both cultures. These challenges left her grappling with feelings of shame and guilt surrounding anything sexual.

The pressure intensified after marriage, with cultural expectations focused on starting a family. Struggling with fertility issues, Thilla's desire for sex waned, prompting her to find Janna and the Wanting It More program. Through this journey, she learned to untangle the complex narratives surrounding sex from both cultures, recognizing their negative impact on her sexual desires.

WIM provided Thilla with invaluable insights, enabling her to reshape her approach to sex. By delving into specific details, she reflects on her transformative journey and how she now embraces a healthier perspective on sexuality, liberated from the weight of cultural expectations.

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Join Janna in this conversation filled with healing and hope as we delve into a topic often brushed aside: pornography addiction. She sits down with Justin, who bravely shares his 25-year struggle with excessive porn use and the profound impact it had on his relationships and self-esteem.

Despite being told it's 'normal,' Justin's story sheds light on the dark realities of porn addiction and its detrimental effects on intimacy. He shares his journey from secrecy and shame to vulnerability and healing alongside his wife.

Justin shares:

Tune in for a compassionate and validating conversation that reminds us that healing is possible, and no one is alone in their struggles. Let's break the stigma and embrace hope together.

Resources Mentioned:

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In response to countless requests, we're diving into a topic close to many hearts: how to talk to kids about sex. Meet Christina, a recent graduate of the Wanting It More program, who felt compelled to provide her children with the sexual education she never received. Her journey is all about empowering her kids to navigate their body and intimacy with confidence, steering clear of the challenges she faced herself.

Join us as Christina shares her strategies for teaching life-changing concepts to her four children, aged 4 to 12. From using age-appropriate language to discuss bodies to navigating intimacy with her husband while the kids are around, Christina covers it all. She delves into the nuances of consent, encourages her children to trust their instincts, and tackles head-on the impact of media and pornography. This conversation is a beacon of empowerment for any parent navigating these vital discussions with their children.

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James had no reason to believe the ways he showed his wife affection, both sexual and non, was at all off-base. Afterall, he’d faithfully followed the rulebook he’d been taught in locker rooms and adult magazines throughout his 70 years and had success. He loved to look at and touch his wife to express his love and desire and happily assumed that his wife loved every ounce of his affection in return. He assumed any lack of sexual desire on her part was an issue for her to solve.

Once he met Janna, he quickly learned he’d been living his life happily misinformed.

James shares in detail his initial struggle learning and accepting the concept of safety, his eyes being opened to his wifes struggle to identify her true wants, and their new ability as a couple to honestly communicate with each other in and out of the bedroom.

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Join Janna and her special guest, Melissa, the WIM Community Coordinator, in this heart-to-heart conversation about the transformative Wanting It More program. Discover who this incredible program is tailor-made for, as they share their personal journeys of dealing with low libido in marriage. Explore the diverse issues the program can address, and be inspired by stories of past participants who have found success.

Janna and Melissa delve into the program's unique features and important dates. Plus, they address common questions that often arise. By the end of this episode, you'll have all the insights needed to make an informed decision on whether Wanting It More is the perfect fit for you and your partner.

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William had it in his head that he wasn’t the problem when it came to his wife’s low sexual desire. Afterall, he was doing everything he had been taught to do to satisfy his wife…the only problem was his teachers were other men, our toxic culture, and pornography.

William talks to Janna in detail about his experiences growing up as a person of colour, and the lessons he absorbed from media and culture on how to treat women and act like a man.

It wasn’t until he started learning from Janna and talking to other men inside the safe space of the Wanting It More program that he realized how off-base his misguided education had been. He talks in detail about how drastically but beautifully different his intimate experiences are now, and why the path he and his wife are on is where they needed to be all along.

AVR Resource Mentioned: https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com/resources/f/empathy-breeds-connection

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Renee opens up to Janna about her six-year marriage to her white husband, exploring the intricacies of their age and ethnicity differences that created a soupy mix of misunderstandings around sexual desire, and her feelings of low libido.

Renee, a biracial woman, brings a compassionate and curious lens to her experiences and exploration of black culture, shedding light on the pervasive hypersexualized messages that saturate the music and language, contributing to a perfect storm of toxic masculinity.

As a strong, confident, and well-educated entrepreneur and feminist, she reflects on her adept ability to navigate societal pressures, but her inability to speak up in the bedroom. It is through the lens of Wanting It More that Renee discovers a profound realization—she had unknowingly been following cultural scripts throughout her entire sexual life, ignoring her own needs in order to fulfill the needs of others. This revelation sparks a hopeful journey of self-discovery, as Renee bravely shares her quest to unearth genuine pleasure and satisfaction in the bedroom beyond societal expectations and cultural norms.

Tune in for a conversation that navigates the intersection of culture, race, love, and personal fulfillment, leaving listeners inspired and hopeful for their own paths of exploration and understanding.

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From the early stages of her life, Rowen discovered immense fulfillment in the roles of people-pleasing and caretaking for those around her. However, she later realized that the price she paid for these roles was steep—it left her clueless about her own wants and needs.

As this pattern extended into her intimate relationship with her husband, her inability to assert herself resulted in exclusive attention to his needs, leaving her feeling alone and broken in her lack of desire for intimacy. Despite enduring long-term pelvic pain, her pleas for help were dismissed by professionals, and couples therapy seemed fixated on ensuring her husband's happiness.

It was only when Rowen embarked on a transformative journey with Janna that she experienced genuine change. Once she recognized her caretaking behaviour in the bedroom, Rowen emerged as the director of her sexual experiences. She now describes her sexual experineces as going “from a black and white movie into a full IMAX immersive experience.”

Tune in to hear Rowen's empowering story of reclaiming agency and steering her sexual narrative towards fulfillment and self-discovery.

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Kate and Janna unravel the complex dynamics of Kate’s 19-year marriage marked by a common tradition – the recurrent gift of lingerie.

Although intended as a sweet gesture, these presents took a toll on Kate, leaving her feeling embarrassed and awkward, along with dwindling her libido and decreasing her desire for sex. As the duo discusses the cultural implications of gifting lingerie, Kate's story becomes a powerful testament to self-empowerment, shedding light on how societal norms can hinder authentic connection.

In this episode, Kate and Janna navigate the delicate balance between intention and impact in intimate relationships. They explore the transformative journey of reclaiming one's sense of self, challenging established norms, and fostering genuine connection in the realm of intimacy.

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Throughout their 17 year union, the presence of pornography cast a shadow over Sandra and her husband’s relationship, steadily eroding its foundation. Initially, Sandra dismissed it, swayed by the notion that incorporating porn could add a spark to their connection. However, as time unfolded, she witnessed alarming shifts in her husband's behavior—his inability to heed her pleas for gentleness, defensiveness clouding his responses, emotions spiraling into dramatic extremes, an inability to distinguish between sex and love, and an insistence on using orgasms as a mood-management tool. Caught in a web of lies and betrayal, Sandra recognized the compulsive and addictive nature of her husband's porn consumption.

In this powerful podcast episode, Sandra shares her story of resilience and transformation, recounting how therapy and the Wanting It More model became the catalysts for rebuilding intimacy in their relationship. She delves into their journey of porn recovery, shedding light on the steps they took to recreate their sex life. Sandra explores the intricacies of navigating boundaries, revealing the specific measures she implemented to safeguard her well-being within the relationship. She also shares what their sex life looks like now and how her husband feels about intimacy since recovering from porn addiction.

Resourses: Sandra and her husband used the following resources to help them on their healing journey.

- Helping Couples Heal Podcast (interviews with Stan Tatkin, Omar Minwalla, and Carol Jurgensen Sheets): https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/helping-couples-heal-podcast/id1462962051

- Omar Minwalla Deceptive Sexuality & Trauma Resource Library: https://minwallamodel.com/resource-library/We used ERCEM coaches to facilitate our disclosure. ERCEM is 

- Carol Jurgensen Sheets Workbooks: https://sexhelpwithcarolthecoach.com/products

- Dan Drake and Janice Caudill’s books to prepare for full therapeutic disclosure and emotional impact statement: https://intensivehope.com/resources/

- SPAA: http://spaa-recovery.org/

- Dr Paula Hall’s TED talk on pornography addiction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Qf2e3XZ8Twhttps://www.paulahall.co.uk/books/

- The TINSA book connects addictive behavior to adverse developmental experiences: https://a.co/d/eYaltET

- Robert Augustus Masters, mature monogamyhttps://www.robertmasters.com/books-audiobooks/

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When Lee initially encountered Janna's messages about sex on her podcast, he felt victimized. It seemed to him as though blame for bad sex in marriage was being cast solely on men, leading him to internalize it as his personal responsibility. However, with time, he gradually grasped the profound message she aimed to convey – that the distorted notions about sex ingrained in our society are a product of our culture. Both he and his wife of 19 years were unwittingly influenced by these societal narratives.

The revelation came when they enrolled in Janna's course, where they gained a new vocabulary for discussing sex with each other. It was only then that they discovered the level of discomfort that had silently crept into their intimate moments. Armed with this understanding, they swiftly realized their previous approach to intimacy was detrimental for both of them.

Armed with this newfound awareness, Lee and his wife embarked on a journey toward healthier intimacy within their marriage. Lee now reflects on the lessons he has learned, describing the positive transformation in their sexual encounters and expressing a profound shift in his perception of the meaning of sex and connection within their relationship.

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Elle believed she was grappling with low libido as she reached the age of 50, having been married for 25 years with three children in college. Intimacy in her relationship had become a burdensome task, postponed for weeks at a time until guilt finally compelled her to engage. She considered this ebb in desire as a typical aspect of this stage in life.

It wasn't until Janna helped Elle compassionately delve into her personal history that the true roots of her low sex drive emerged. Unearthing childhood sexual abuse, the lingering effects of birth trauma, the relentless exhaustion and overwhelm from parenthood, and 22 years of untreated pelvic pain, Elle began to see the multifaceted layers of her struggle.

In our culture, women are often conditioned to endure pain, making it challenging to recognize when something is truly amiss. Elle shares her journey of self-discovery, articulating why she refrained from labeling her distress as pain for so many years. Now, with newfound awareness, she is bravely navigating a redefined understanding of intimacy with her husband, infused with compassion and hope for a more fulfilling connection.

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Janna dives into a question she receives often from women looking into her Wanting It More program: "Will this work for me if I don't feel anything during sex?"

A powerful misconception exists in our culture that something is wrong with a woman if she doesn't experience intense sensations during intercourse. Many of these women are labeled with “low libido” or “low sex drive.” Janna challenges the notion that sex is primarily focused on penetration, emphasizing the importance of understanding the clitoris with its extensive network of nerves and unique sensitivity.

She argues the essence of the intimate experience lies in pleasure and connection rather than adhering to a narrow view centered around genital engagement. She teaches a more inclusive understanding of pleasure that extends beyond the genitalia, emphasizing the significance of mutual connection and safety in fostering truly satisfying sexual experiences.

Janna shares personal experiences of overcoming years of feeling broken in the realm of sexuality, offering hope and encouragement for listeners to embrace their own unique journey towards fulfilling intimacy.

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Everyone talks about getting more rest, but what does it truly mean to rest? Is it just about lying still and doing nothing? Join Janna and her good friend, Dr. Laura Froyen, as they dive into the world of rest in this delightful conversation.

They explore various types of rest – physical, emotional, mental, social, spiritual, sensory, and creative – unraveling the true essence of what rest aims to achieve. They recall rest experiences that can be not only rejuvenating and enlivening but also surprisingly active, creating a pathway to reconnect with yourself.

Janna and Dr. Laura will encourage you to ponder: How do you rest? What does your rest feel like? And most importantly, how do you feel after a good rest? Let's unravel the secrets of truly fulfilling rest together!

Dr. Laura Froyen: https://www.laurafroyen.com/

The Balanced Parent Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-balanced-parent-podcast/id1510139224

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Ellen bravely opens up about her journey with Vaginismus, a condition she discovered on her wedding night when she and her husband tried to have intercourse for the first time. A moment that should have been filled with joy and excitement left Ellen feeling gutted and cheated, particularly because she and her husband had eagerly waited until marriage to share this experience.

Vaginismus is a complex and often misunderstood medical condition that causes the muscles of the vagina to involuntarily tense or spasm upon penetration.

Over the years Ellen persisted in attempting intercourse, but each try brought pain and discomfort. Confounded by her body's response and overwhelmed by shame, she grappled in silence, feeling as though her body was broken.

However, through her challenging journey and the invaluable insights gained since then, Ellen has made remarkable strides in accepting and embracing her body just as it is. She graciously shares a detailed and practical account of how intimacy with her husband has evolved, offering a beacon of hope and understanding for women dealing with Vaginismus. Her story sheds light on the possibilities of finding comfort and fulfillment in intimate relationships despite the condition.

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Janna talks to the author of one of her most recommended books, "Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy."

In this captivating conversation with Dr. Tina Schermer Seller, a licensed therapist specializing in sex and gender issues, they discuss her research of the Christian Conservative church and the rise of abstinence-only education and purity culture in the early 1980s. This shift has had serious negative effects on both women and men, impacting their ability to have meaningful and healthy sexual relationships.

Whether you come from a religious background or not, this discussion will help you understand the global influence of this narrative on our lives and how we can start the healing process.

Find out more about Dr. Tina Schermer Seller and her books here: https://www.tinaschermersellers.com/

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The dream of having a family can quickly darken in the face of fertility issues. Sex suddenly becomes a highly monitored business, filled with immense pressure and  crushing timelines.

33 year-old Bridget endured three tumultuous years of IVF treatments, invasive medical procedures, severe sickness, and the trauma of pregnancy losses, all while living through the stress and isolation of Covid. The experience left her feeling utterly broken, both physically and mentally, and traumatized with severe PTSD.

Through it all, Bridget eventually delivered two healthy babies, but her views toward sex were understandably negative. She had no sexual interest or desire, and felt sex to be an endless chore and duty.

Listen to how Janna helped Bridget redefined the meaning of sex in her marriage and what Bridget’s husband has learned about his approach to his wife. There are so many valuable takeaways in this episode to help navigate the valid state of low sexual desire.

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When asked, "What do you like to do for pleasure?", Crissie’s response was, "That's a hard question for me.”

Many women will relate to Crissie’s do-everything-for-everyone-except-myself mentality. This 40-year-old mother of four spent years consumed with providing for the needs of her young family. Figuring out her own needs, wants and enjoyments were at the very bottom of her to-do list, especially when it came to intimacy with her husband.

Taking WIM gave Crissie space to ask herself for the first time what is was that she truly enjoyed, in and out of the bedroom. Although her journey of self-discovery will never end, listen to what Crissie has learned so far about how to ask for what she wants without feeling guilty.

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If you've ever dealt with painful or uncomfortable sex, this episode is a must listen.

For years, Anna tolerated the trauma of painful intercourse. She describes the pain as feeling like rug burn for hours afterward.

She was eventually diagnosed with vaginismus. Although she found pelvic floor therapy helpful, she didn't feel understood by her therapist and was left feeling even more sexually broken. Her sexual experiences were shadowed in anxiety, fear, shame, and guilt.

Her experience in Wanting It More allowed Anna to process through her sexual history to thoroughly understand what brought her to this point, and how to fix it going forward.

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Alyssa is a 31-year-old high school educator who’s been married to her high school sweetheart for 9 years.

When she became sexually active in high school, she was terrified of pregnancy. Even though she was using birth control, she was so anxious for weeks afterward that it was hard to function.

Once she was married and decided to start a family, Alyssa experienced two back-to- back miscarriages. Although she was told by the medical professionals treating her that this experience was routine and normal, it left her traumatized, fearful and grieving. She describes losing all trust in her body and shutting down sexually for years afterward.

Listen as Alyssa talks about how Wanting It More helped her learn to use her intuition to reconnect with her body and her husband again in a safe and meaningful way.

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On the final day of our latest Wanting It More  round, I gathered all the wonderful husbands and wives together for a warm farewell Zoom call. During this heartwarming session, I posed the question, "What's been your most significant takeaway from this journey?"

Their honest responses moved me to tears. At just eight weeks into their Wanting It More adventure, these couples have already made remarkable strides in rekindling their intimacy. While this path isn't without its challenges, witnessing their progress in real time continually reinforces why I'm dedicated to this mission—to empower women with low desire by showing them the path to want and enjoy sex more.

If you're contemplating whether Wanting It More is the right fit for you, please don't hesitate to reach out. Simply drop me an email at janna@jannadentonhowes.com, and let's schedule a brief, 15-minute Zoom chat. Feel free to ask any questions you may have, and I promise to provide you with candid and honest answers. Your journey to a more fulfilling intimate life may be just around the corner!

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I'm answering the most frequent questions I get about my online program, Wanting It More, which is now open for registration for the Oct./Nov. round.

I think it’s THE best online program out there for helping women with low libido want and enjoy sex more, while also supporting their husbands so they can create a nourishing, fun, connecting sex life as a team with nobody being blamed other than culture.

In this episode I'll answer:

- What resources are included? What’s the weekly schedule? What’s included for husband support?

- What can I expect the outcomes of the program to be?

- Does my husband need to participate?

- How do I convince my husband a program aboout sex is worth it?

- What's the time commitment of WIM?

- Can’t I just do this on my own with the podcast and free class?

If you're on the fence about whether or not Wanting It More is the right program for you, email me at janna@jannadentonhowes.com to book a 15 minute Zoom call. You can ask all your questions and I'll be very honest in return. 

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Everything Stuart learned about sex was from what he saw in media. Therefore, he understood sex to be a passionate, dramatic, climatic, sweaty event that occurs frequently and is mind blowing every time. Not surprisingly, this is not the type of sex life that Stuart had in his 12 year marriage.

In this extremely honest conversation with Janna, Stuart describes the slow decline of sex in his marriage, the round and round conversations with his wife that went nowhere, and how they both felt guilty, broken, and at fault for a problem they had no idea how to fix.

When he and his wife discovered Janna’s free class, he was blown away by the content and realized a lot of people were dealing with this issue and he wasn’t alone. Listen to why Stuart says taking Wanting It More “was the best thing to happen to our marriage since our children.”

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Helen’s biggest realization during Wanting It More was owning the fact that she wasn’t taking responsibility for her own pleasure.

Her lack of enjoyment in the sexual experience wasn’t all about her husband and what he was or wasn’t doing for her.

She was allowing things to happen in the bedroom that she didn’t enjoy that created feelings of boredom, frustration, annoyance, even pain, but she didn’t know what to do when something didn’t feel good anymore (or never felt good in the first place).

Listen as Janna and Helen discuss her commitment to her own sexual pleasure and the life-changing idea to never again doing anything that doesn’t feel good ever again.

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Jenn grew up in a conservative Christian household and received her sex education from church events and camps (based on purity culture with the message that sex before marriage is a HUGE sin) and her high school sex ed class (which left her terrified of pregnancy and STDs). 

Not surprisingly, this education left her with a lot of shame around sex and her sexual interest in general.

Married for seven years, the shame spiral continued with her husband and she felt confused and broken…until Wanting It More.

Listen as Janna and Jenn discuss the one thing that made a huge difference in reducing Jenn's anxiety about sex.

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There's a big promise out there that we often hear in our culture...if you wait until marriage to have sex it will be the most united and amazing experience of your life!

Yet, for many couples, the opposite tends to be true. Sex can feel awkward, weird, and unsatisfying. The lesson from youth that sex is bad is hard to suddenly shake once "I do" is said. The same feelings of shame and guilt around sex follow us into marriage and don't go away.

This was Derek's experience, a devout Catholic who says he followed all the rules and expected his married sex life to “be on fire”...but it wasn’t. Sex felt awkward, he and his wife couldn’t find a rhythm, and their sex life ended up feeling transactional. 

My conversation with Derek is eye-opening as to why it can be so hard to look at the meaning and purpose of sex in a new light. 

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Do you have a hard time saying no to your husband's sexual advances for fear of hurting his feelings? So many women I teach say they feel internal pressure and duty to give in and get it over with when it comes to sex with their husband. 

No wonder so many women aren’t enjoying the sexual experience!

Here’s what took me a long time to figure out: saying “no” empowers you to say “yes” to the things you actually enjoy (even if you don’t know what that is yet).

Listen to my conversation with 44-year-old Jo to find out how she learned to put her comfort and safety in the bedroom first in order to enjoy a satisfying sexual experience with her husband.

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Struggling to find the importance of sex in marriage after 60? I’m talking to Diane, a teacher and musician in her sixties with three grown children. Despite being an educator, Diane admits to knowing nothing about sexual relationships in her youth and “assuming the guys knew what they were doing.”

In this incredibly tender and inspiring episode, we talk about her journey with duty sex for almost 33 years in her marriage and the courageous steps she and her husband have taken to start talking about sex for the first time.

If you're in the empty nest years, I encourage you to listen to Diane talk about why it’s never too late to make the necessary changes to enjoy this time of life with your partner.

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Today we’re talking about foreplay and why I don’t think more foreplay, typically prescribed to women with low libido, is the answer to enjoying sex more.

I believe it does more harm to women than good. Curious to know why?

Listen in as I discuss three reasons why the goal to increase sexual arousal through foreplay is problematic. I also offer tips on what to try instead to help you focus on what your mind and body actually need to authentically enjoy the sexual experience with your husband.

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This episode is for the men listening out there! I often get emails from husbands asking me for advice on what they can do to help their wife enjoy sex more. Maybe they’ve listened to my podcast or read my website, so these men already understand it’s not about labelling her with “low libido” or getting her to fix herself. They understand there is a much larger societal issue behind her lack of desire, but they have no idea how to approach her with this information.

I’m offering valuable advice on how to become a safe, supportive, and encouraging husband. It’s hard but necessary to acknowledge the role you play in your marriage and what you’ve brought in from the terrible education received from porn, media and locker room talk. I’ll help you answer the tough questions swirling in your head.

This work takes a lot of courage and a whole bunch of relearning, but I've witnessed many men change their ways to become a better lover and I know you can too.

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Have you heard the advice to "spice things up" to keep your sex life alive? Get kinky, say dirty words, try new positions, watch porn. I tried all of these things and more in my marriage to increase my low sex drive but I was left feeling empty, unsatisfied and unaligned with myself.  

I believe the key to more connected intimacy is becoming more of who you are in the sexual experience, not pretending to be someone you aren't. In this episode, I discuss why chasing increased physical sensations doesn’t work in the long term to enjoy sex more and the courage and truth-telling that genuine intimacy requires.

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For the first time, I'm offering support to husbands in my Wanting It More program, and I'm learning a lot about why men find it hard to understand (and even believe) their wife's low desire for sex compared to their own. This is especially true when women haven't been honest about what they enjoy (and especially about what they don't enjoy) in the bedroom.

In this episode, I'm sharing real examples of what men say they’re learning about how their wife's sexual desire works and how using these new concepts are making their marriage stronger.

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The examples we're shown of sex in movies and tv are ridiculous! I'm here to tell you that's not what real sex looks or sounds like (these are actors acting after all).

Are you curious to know what connected sex actually looks like? In my Wanting It More program, I get vulnerable and share my own sexual experience with my program participants to help them understand a new way of conducting an intimate experience based on their specific needs. I mean, where else are you going to learn this stuff?

In this episode, I share a hypothetical example of what one of my own sexual experiences might look like. My hope is that you'll begin to understand there's an entirely different way of increasing your sexual interest by using vulnerability, consent, boundaries, and honest communication.

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We're missing out on true joy and connection with our partners and ourselves when we focus on the formulaic goals of sex. It's not all about orgasm! It's about getting curious to create and follow your own rules for your sexual wellness. 

Laura and I chat about some of my best tips for creating a non-goal-oriented and mindful sexual connection.

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I challenge a lot of what society teaches men and women about sex, and sometimes husbands have a hard time with my content. I've been bullied, threatened, and personally attacked online by men who are struggling to see their important role in helping their wives feel more comfortable in the bedroom.  

That's why I was pleasantly surprised when Charles reached out to me on Instagram to share how the podcast was helping him in his relationship with his wife (without her involvement in my program or content). So, I invited him onto the podcast to explore what his journey has looked like. He talks about reevaluating the religious and cultural messages about sex he received growing up and the confusion they created in his life, as well as his long battle with pornography addiction and the decades of turmoil it caused in his relationship.

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Partner betrayal is SO complex compared to other forms of trauma. The lying, manipulation, scapegoating and gaslighting create a cycle of shame of wanting to simultaneously connect and disconnect from a cheating partner.  My husband of 14 years admitted to a porn addiction that I was unaware of (after years in therapy/coaching trying to fix my "low libido"). 

When I came across the work of Michelle Mays on YouTube after one late night of desperate Googling, I knew I had to have her on the podcast. If you've had this experience, I hope this episode brings you validation, relief, and hope.

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My podcast guest this week, Joy, shared that when she first started her relationship (at 17!), she was expecting they would be that disgustingly in-love couple with constant PDA, but that's not what happened.  In fact, despite having a supportive, loving, and fun relationship, she quickly found that her fear of getting pregnant turned into the discomfort of having or talking about sex altogether. 

When Joy joined my Wanting It More program, they hadn't shared a sexual experience in almost 20 years.  I hope you enjoy our conversation. Remember, it's never, ever too late to make the change you've been wanting to in your sex life.

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As a husband, are you confused about why non-sexual intimacy (like playful touch and general affection) and physical intimacy have dwindled in your marriage?  

In this follow-up to Episode 43, I get to chat with Thia's husband, Eugene, about the pressure and personal responsibility he felt to fix their sex life and the many changes he tried that didn’t work. 

Since taking the Wanting It More program together, he's now aware of his many misconceptions about sexual intimacy in marriage. Listen as he describes his new role in supporting his wife in a way that works for them both.

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Thia and Eugene are a couple from South Africa who are currently living in the UK with three children. After waiting to have sex until their wedding night and having some positive experiences early on, their intimate life started to dwindle.

Thia wasn't sure if she was even able to have an orgasm (it can be hard to tell!) and Eugene was running out of ways to help his wife enjoy the experience.  Their sex life was becoming infrequent, routine and obligatory.

After taking Wanting It More, they've discovered a whole new playful, intimate, fun, and enjoyable sex life which is a delight to hear about (yes, they both go into very helpful detail in their separate episodes.)

These conversations are sure to warm your heart as they did mine. Don't miss my conversation with Eugene in follow-up Episode 44.

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Amber spent years searching for help for her low sexual desire with no answers. She spoke to her university counsellor, her mom, read books and sought help from her church. 

In a moment of desperation she reached out to her physician and was given this response: "Look, it's just one of those things. You simply have to do it. It'll make him a better husband and father."  

I can personally relate to this lonely experience. I searched for years for answers to my low sex drive from similar sources as Amber- books, workshops, therapists, and doctors and found nothing that helped me in the long term.  Thankfully, Amber's story has a happy ending but my heart breaks for the hundreds of thousands of women out there who are searching for a solution and finding nothing except, "Just do it, it's good for your marriage." 

There is a better answer to help women experiencing low libido and I'll hope you'll listen to find out what it is.

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In this follow-up conversation to Episode 40, I talk with Erin's husband Rob about his ‘old ways’ of thinking about sex and how his views have drastically transformed since taking Wanting It More.  

Learning about my concepts of safety in the bedroom originally floored him, but incorporating these vital ideas has ultimately made all the difference in their marriage and sexual relationship.   

If you're confused about what safety in the bedroom means, I hope you'll have a listen to a man's perspective on the subject.

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I'm always speaking to women and their husbands about the need for safety with physical touch in and out of the sexual experience. In our culture, women are bombarded with unwanted sexual attention in media, in schools, in homes, and out in the streets.  We don't even know that feeling safe is a possibility!  

This week, I talk to Erin and her husband, Rob in separate conversations, about how they have moved towards a safer sexual experience together. You can listen to Rob's conversation in Episode 41.

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As sexually loud as our culture can be, so many women (and men) experience the silence around helpful information on sex and pleasure as we prepare for marriage.  

This week I talk to Keira about growing up in a Christian household and the guilt, shame and dirty feelings she held on to for years. 

We also discuss her experience with painful intercourse and the dramatic turning point that helped her rethink her body and the meaning of intimacy in marriage in an entirely new light.  

Regardless if purity culture was part of your upbringing or not, I encourage you to listen to this episode as most of us were raised in a culture that was hush-hush about sex with little helpful education.

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I don't believe that making the choice to explore a sexual connection AND enjoy the experience is connected to physical attraction to your spouse in any way (aka, you don't need to be turned on by his body.)  

This also includes you if you DO find him hunky and still don't want and/or enjoy sex with him.  

This doesn't mean anything about you or your marriage.  

Curious to know why?  

I'm choosing to be honest in hopes that it will calm some fears on this hotly debated topic.

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1. Janna interviews Nick, the husband of a current Wanting It More (WIM) participant, about his experience going through the program.

2. Nick explains the challenges and rewards of vulnerability in male friendships.

3. His ah-ha moment realizing the lack of physical connection was not the real problem in his marriage.

4. How his attempts at “gentle pressure” and reverse psychology backfired and what actually worked to rebuild their connection in and out of the bedroom.

5. His misinterpretation of his wife’s lack of desire and what was actually going on.

6. His liberating experience in understanding boundaries and how they enhanced feelings of closeness.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

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1. Janna interviews Sarah, a current Wanting It More (WIM) participant, about her personal and relational shift after seven weeks in the eight-week program.

2. Sarah describes her tearful breaking point the week before signing up for WIM, thoughts of divorce, and how she’s used the tools learned in WIM to save her marriage.

3. Honest talk about her declining desire over 15 years and why it’s so hard for women to verbalize what happened.

4. How honestly acknowledging and expressing her anger, fear, and resentments was the first step toward finding freedom.

5. Details about her first intimate experience during WIM and the amazing discovery she and her husband shared that they never knew about each other.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

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1. Janna shares a love note filled with compassion and validation to her listeners feeling the weight of this difficult work.

2. Her thoughts on how our culture has completely lost the true meaning of intimacy.

3. Why it’s still hard for her in her own relationship after all these years.

4. The importance of knowing you're not alone, you're not broken, and it's definitely not your fault.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

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1. The amazing gifts that Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) have and how they can be translated into the sexual experience.

2. Why broadening out the definition of sex is so critical for HSPs.

3. Practical examples from Janna's own life of how she explores her creativity, intuition, and HSP-ness in the bedroom.

4. What to do when you get overwhelmed, triggered or need a break.

5. The most important thing your husband can do that will make all the difference.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Dr. Elaine Aron: Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Self-Test

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1. The two phrases Janna and Melissa model and use in the community to decrease shame and increase safety.

2. Why shock, grief and sometimes anger are understandable emotions in the beginning stages of the process.

3. The surprising results of getting the husbands together for a support call.

4. What they are learning about making space for a diversity of lived experiences.

5. How the basic concepts taught in WIM are sometimes misunderstood as radical.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

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1. The three "steps" towards initiating more touch with your husband.

2. The two main causes of "touch pressure" and what to do about them.

3. Why unlearning cultural messages about acceptable touch is critical before getting curious about what you like.

4. How Janna and her husband create space for her to initiate touch.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

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1. The myths about pain and how they impact our experience of it.

2. The importance of physical and emotional safety while healing from pelvic pain.

3. Why the phrase, "it's all in your head" is actually true- but not how you think it is!

4. The normal variety in female parts (as described by someone who has seen hundreds!)

5. The different types of pelvic pain and the experience of each.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

The Centers for Vulvovaginal Disorders: https://vulvodynia.com/publications

Brisbane Pelvic Physiotherapy: https://www.brisbanepelvicphysio.com.au/

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1. How Taneill expected her body to work and what happened instead.

2. The unexpected surprise she got when she listened to other women talk about pleasure.

3. The relatable ways Janna and Taneill both tried to get the big O as young adults.

4. The moment everything shifted for her and how she's continued to learn about her body.

5. Her recommendations for other women hoping to feel more enjoyment in the bedroom.

Resources Mentioned:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

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1. Three unfortunate experiences Janna had with professionals and what she learned from each one of them.

2. Janna's #1 recommendation for when you are seeking support - whether from books, people or the internet.

3. What she does now as a coach and educator to keep her participants safe.

4. Her window cleaning story and what that taught her about pushing herself!

5. The critical areas that were missing in her search for answers and how she addresses them in her Wanting It More program.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Register for Janna's free class here: Wanting It More 101

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

“Come as you are” by Emily Nagoski

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1. How B used to see her "role" in the bedroom and how it's changed over time.

2. The most challenging aspect of creating and enforcing boundaries for her.

3. The surprising way B's body has responded after 5 years of regular physical connection with her husband.

4. Why nighttime is sometimes the worst time to have sex.

5. How her husband struggled with this "new way" of connecting in the beginning and how they are now.

6. How they handle having afternoon sexual experiences with the kids in the house.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Register for Janna's free class here: Wanting It More 101

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

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Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. How purity culture has affected this couple's marriage in very different ways.

2. How M handled K's "don't touch me!" vibe in her first pregnancy.

3. Where their communication broke down in the bedroom and how they've changed it.

4. M's initial resistance to my advice in the Wanting It More program and how he feels now, 3 years later.

5. The unique way K transitions into the sexual experience that may surprise you!

6. How K is handling the changes in her body after baby #2 - which is proving to be more difficult than she expected.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Register for Janna's free class here: Wanting It More 101

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

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1. Is it guilt or shame? What's the difference?

2. How cultural messaging influences our feelings of guilt.

3. What to blame instead of each other.

4. Janna's opinion on what’s “owed” to your partner.

5. The single most important quality for a successful marriage.

6. When guilt is actually warranted in the bedroom.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

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Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. Why safety is the key to women wanting it in the bedroom

2. The reasons why communicating our preferences is the first step to feeling safe

3. 4 things women are supposed to like in the bedroom, but Janna doesn't

4. Common reactions that husbands have when women say no in the bedroom

5. The hardest and best thing Janna did in her own marriage to establish her own safety

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Watch the video: Video

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

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Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. 2 types of ways to want it in the bedroom, and the differences between them

2. Why waiting for those “tingly feelings” can be a waste of energy

3. What science is teaching us about “getting in the mood”

4. How Janna has regular experiences while rarely being in the mood.

5. The 5 motivations for sex that don't involve a physical reason

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

To view the Venn Diagram mentioned in this episode, please view the episode on my website here:Venn Diagram

“Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski

My Program: Wanting It More

Watch the video: Video

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. 3 barriers to learning about our bodies (it's not as simple as it sounds)

2. A few critical pieces of information that Janna learned early on which made a big difference

3. Janna's favourite book recommendation to learn the science of female bodies

4. 3 steps you can take to learn about your preferences in the bedroom

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

To view the Venn Diagram mentioned in this episode, please view the episode on my website here:Venn Diagram

“Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski

My Program: Wanting It More

Watch the video: Video

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. The one bedroom word Janna hate that everyone else loves

2. 7 toxic cultural messages that create issues in the bedroom

3. The only 2 goals I encourage for together time

4. How anger can be a force for good in the bedroom

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

To view the Venn Diagram mentioned in this episode, please view the episode on my website here:Venn Diagram

My Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. What Janna means by emotional and physical safety in a relationship

2. Why safety is such an important element of women wanting it in the bedroom

3. The differences between a lack of safety and abuse

4. The reasons why a marriage can be lacking emotional safety for women

5. How building emotional and physical safety can change everything in the bedroom

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

To view the Venn Diagram mentioned in this episode, please view the episode on my website here:Venn Diagram

My Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. Janna's story and experience with not wanting it with her husband

2. Why women aren’t broken if they don’t want it with their husbands

3. The common reasons why women don’t want it in the bedroom

4. How Janna's approach is different from traditional advice that women often get from medical professionals

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

To view the Venn Diagram mentioned in this episode, please view the website here:The Three Requirements Venn Diagram

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. Janna outlines why the podcast is changing and what that will look like

2. How Janna’s business model is shifting to honour her need for simplicity

3. What to expect from upcoming episodes

4. Listen now to hear about why Janna is making these shifts

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. Reasons why talking about what happens in the bedroom can be uncomfortable

2. How we can overcome the shame and awkwardness of talking about it

3. Ways in which the cultural mainstream impacts women’s capacity for enjoyment

4. How we can demystify what happens when we have sex

5. Why our early experiences learning about sex can impact our capacity for talking about it openly as adults

GUEST BIOS:

Lisa lives in the United States with her busy toddler and husband of nine years. She works from home in I.T. and dreams of one day having a pond with koi fish and a fountain. As an alumni of my Wanting It More Program, she continues to offer really great insights in my online community along with some profound revelations about her journey.

Laura Froyen, PHD is a Marriage and Family Therapist who not only took sex therapy classes in graduate school but worked with couples in their sexual relationships and recieved sex therapy herself. In her professional life, she now helps individuals, partners, and co-parents become the parents they are longing to be.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. Why scheduling time for yourself is a way to enrich your relationships

2. The difference between intentional “me time” and self-sabotaging behaviours

3. The ways that your sexual experiences can be “me time”

4. The differing needs that men and women can have in their sexual relationship

5. How women’s roles in the family are often underappreciated

6. Reasons why taking time for yourself is revolutionary for your children

*Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be triggering for some listeners.

GUEST BIO:

Michelle is a busy mom of 4, ranging in age from 6 to 15 years old.  She loves reading, long talks with friends, all things Disney, finding the humor in the daily stressors of life and the humbling experience of motherhood.  She is a life-long learner whose life and marriage of 19 years were infinitely impacted by the Wanting It More Program.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. How to maintain a marriage while coping with serious health problems

2. Why communication is so important during times of extreme stress

3. How to transform stressful situations into opportunities for bonding

4. Why fear can manifest as anger when we’re under stress

5. Finding ways to create intimacy with physical disabilities

6. Redefining the possibilities of what sex can be

*Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be triggering for some listeners.

GUEST BIO:

Sonja lives in Australia and is a mom of two teen girls. She loves to write, cook and commune with nature and her animals. She works in a horse feed store and owns/runs a horse training facility and holiday cottages with her husband of nearly 20 years.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. How our society puts pressure on us to have sex on vacation

2. Reasons why you might have anxiety surrounding vacation sex

3. Why having sex on vacation might not work for you

4. What to consider when planning a vacation with your husband

5. What you might need in order to want sex on vacation

6. How to let go of the limiting beliefs we have about vacation sex

*Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be triggering for some listeners.

GUEST BIO:

Lisa lives in the United States with her busy toddler and husband of nine years. She works from home in I.T. and dreams of one day having a pond with koi fish and a fountain. As an alumni of my Wanting It More Program, she continues to offer really great insights in my online community along with some profound revelations about her journey.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. How to figure out if porn may be impacting your sex life

2. What porn addiction can look like in a marriage

3. How Sherri learned about her husband’s secret sexual habits

4. Making sense of confusing behavior in your relationship

5. What to do if you suspect your husband has an addiction to porn

6. The complex feelings that can arise when healing from this type of addiction

*Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be triggering for some listeners.

GUEST BIO:

Sherri has been married for 20 years, has two children, lives in Canada, and works in Social Services. After completing my Wanting It More Program, Sherri has become an integral member of our Alumni community acting as a facilitator and supporting women by openly sharing her experiences with compassion and grace.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. How to define really great sex!

2. We shed light on 2 key myths about sex.

3. Is penetration essential for orgasmic experiences?

4. What affects female pleasure even more than pressure?

5. Lisa’s revelation about masturbation and how her husband reacted.

6. Is pleasure a privilege or a right?

*Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be triggering for some listeners.

GUEST BIO:

Lisa lives in the United States with her busy toddler and husband of nine years. She works from home in the field of I.T., and dreams of one day having a pond with koi fish and a fountain. As an alumni of my Wanting It More Program, she offers really great insights in my online community as well as profound revelations about her journey.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. How Denice ditched duty sex for something better

2. Slut or Prude: Are these the only options?

3. Penguin suits, lingerie & banana sling undies: the hilarity of Denice’s wedding night

4. Why women have sex even when they’re not in the mood

5. The hidden goals of sex and the problems they create

*Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be triggering for some listeners.

GUEST BIO:

Denice is a Seven Habits of Highly Effective People enthusiast. She is known for her infectious giggle and refreshingly funny  “Daily Dose of Denice” videos in my alumni community. She lives in the United States with her four children and has been married for 15 years. She loves reading, walking, and enjoys making custom t-shirt designs.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. The truth about how “good sex” is defined and how it affects women.

2. How to make sex a freeing and fulfilling experience instead of avoiding it.

3. Why trying to make your marriage “fair” can be an almost impossible challenge.

4. How one-sided sex can affect a relationship in the long run and what to do about it.

5. Jenn’s surprising discovery about how her personal values weren’t showing up in the bedroom.

6. Honest details about Janna and Jenn’s real-life sexual experiences

*Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be triggering for some listeners.

GUEST BIO:

Jenn (she/her) is anamazing, fabulous, human being. She is a warrior of justice and women’s rights. After completing my Wanting It More program, she has become a fierce leader and small group facilitator in my alumni community. She has been married for 9 years and has 3 young children. Jenn works in Environmental Conservation.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Burnout by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski, who coined the term "Human Giver Syndrome" based on the book Down Girl: the Logic of Misogyny by Kate Manne

Come as You Are by Emily Nagoski

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. Why Melissa’s husband now says their sex life is better than ever!

2. The #1 thing that will always lower desire and how to avoid it!

3. The long term effects of tolerating touch that isn’t "100% yes".

4. How to talk to your husband when something isn’t sitting right with you.

5. The eye-opening shift that allowed Melissa to stand her ground (even while being convinced otherwise).

*Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be triggering for some listeners.

GUEST BIO:

Melissa Cody is a busy, homeschooling mom of three who currently lives in Canada but has traveled and lived in many different places around the world. She is an integral part of the team that helps run both of Janna's programs and is a passionate alumni herself! Melissa grew up as a competitive dancer, had a career on stage singing, dancing and doing musical theatre. She was also a dance teacher and adjudicator and now loves being home to watch her children grow.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. The importance of looking at the real motivations behind sex.

2. Shifting your mindset from sex being a chore.

3. How to enjoy an orgasm for yourself without feeling guilty.

4. The struggle of being intimate in the early days of motherhood.

5. How to create a sex life that is more authentic, equitable, and nourishing.

*Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be triggering for some listeners.

GUEST BIO:

Melissa is a busy mom of 4 (ages 19 years - 8years) who breastfed till her children self-weaned, co-slept and practised attachment parenting with the support of her local La Leche League community. She is a feminist who loves deep conversations, scrapbooking, camping, and dogsledding with her huskies. She is ever so grateful for the knowledge gained in the Wanting it More Program which has allowed her to redefine intimate experiences with her husband of 23 years.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. Why media is so damaging when it comes to our understanding of sex.

2. How cultural expectations define our expectations for sex and what the intentions can be instead.

3. The major problem with mainstream advice for low libido.

4. The magic ingredient essential to a wonderful sex life that so many professionals ignore.

5. The most important mindset shift to go from having duty sex to having sex for pleasure and enjoyment.

*Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be triggering for some listeners.

GUEST BIO:

For this week's episode on The Wanting it More podcast, I speak with my close friend, colleague and alum of my program, Laura Froyen, PhD. Laura is a Marriage and Family Therapist who not only took sex therapy classes in graduate school but worked with couples in their sexual relationships and recieved sex therapy herself. In her professional life, she now helps individuals, partners, and co-parents become the parents they are longing to be.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Connect with Laura:  Podcast l Website l Instagram

Janna's Program: Wanting It More

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.

1. Why feeling alone, broken and guilty started my journey as a Desire Expert

2. How my struggles in the bedroom led me to designing a program for women about intimacy

3. Who my guests are and why they are willing to share the juicy details of their sex lives

4. Who I serve and what my core values are

5. How these real, honest and vulnerable conversations can improve your sex life

BIO:

I’m Janna Denton Howes, a Desire Expert and Creator of The Wanting It More Program. I have spent hundreds of hours helping thousands of women want and enjoy intimacy more. I was married young at 17 and 21 years later am still married to my wonderful husband who is an engineer. We live on Vancouver Island with our two teenage girls. I love long walks at the beach, dancing while I rollerblade, and time in nature. I love, love, love people and discovering what talents, ideas and perspectives they have. Join me for honest conversations with women who have experienced low libido in their relationships, as we discuss the details nobody else talks about.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Check out my program here: Wanting It More

Take the Desires Quiz: Take the Quiz

Join the Waitlist for the next round of Wanting It More. ​Join Now.​

Leave a podcast review: We'd so appreciate your ​rating and review​ to help the podcast reach more women.

Learn about Wanting It More: Program details, schedules, bonuses, and Q&A. ​Visit now.