Filtrer par genre

I Love You, Too

I Love You, Too

Relationship Center
Santé, Société et Culture

Research indicates that relationships are the key to living a happy, long life. But healthy relationships aren’t always easy to build, particularly if you’re shy, anxious, or still reeling from past hurts. Join psychotherapist, couples counselor, and dating coach, Jessica Engle, and professional certified coach, Josh Van Vliet, on “I Love You, Too,” a show all about how to build and sustain meaningful relationships. Josh and Jessica, a real-life couple, will share evidence-based yet heart-filled techniques to help you find love, friendship, and the community you crave.

23 - How I-Statements can improve your relationship (examples for couples)
0:00 / 0:00
1x
  • 23 - How I-Statements can improve your relationship (examples for couples)

    Are you and your partner fighting too much, Dear Listener? Chances are you’re not taking advantage of our #1 communication tool for contentious couples – I-Statements!

    This episode delves into the power of using I-Statements (aka I-Messages) when communicating with your partner. We explore how I-Statements improve relationships by fostering open dialogue and compassion, while You-statements often lead to defensiveness and misunderstandings.

    After reviewing the benefits of I-Statements, we share examples for couples that clearly show how to frame your communication around feelings and needs. By reviewing I-Statement vs You-Statement examples, you’ll learn how I-Statements encourage calm and empathetic communication.

    Next, we give you the nitty gritty on how to use I-Statements in relationships.  We break down granular differences between I-Statements and You-Statements, such as specificity versus generalization, taking responsibility versus blaming, and focusing on feelings versus thoughts.  I-Statements promote understanding and collaboration in relationships, allowing room for multiple perspectives and validating both partners' experiences.  But that’s only if you use them correctly, so listen closely for the rules of I-Statements!

    By the end of this episode, you'll walk away with practical insights and strategies that you can immediately apply to your relationship. This powerful communication tool will help you create a safer and more supportive space for dialogue, enabling you and your partner to enjoy more love and connection.

    Key Takeaways

    00:00 - Intro

    02:42 - What are "I-Statements"?

    05:49 - How can "I-Statements" improve communication?

    12:15 - How do you properly formulate an "I-Statement"? And what’s the difference between “I-Statements” and “You-Statements?”

    33:41 - What if I-Statements feel unnatural or forced?

    38:16 - Are there times I-Statements aren't useful?

    42:23 - What if my partner doesn't want to use I-Statements?

    Resources and links

    For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast

    I-Statements: A Therapist's #1 Communication Skill for Couples Who Fight Too Much

    Feelings Chart

    To get more free dating, relationship, and social anxiety advice, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter to sign up for – you guessed it – our newsletter!

    Tue, 14 May 2024 - 47min
  • 22 - Dating as an anxious, highly sensitive man (Josh’s story)

    Dear Listener, are you a sensitive, anxious man who struggles to feel confident while dating? You're not alone! In this episode, host and dating coach Josh Van Vliet shares his personal experience looking for love as a highly sensitive and, at times, insecure man. 

    Spoiler alert: Josh is now happily married to his co-host, Jessica!

    Jessica plumbs Josh’s dating experiences to answer the question, How do you date successfully when you're a deeply feeling, anxious man? 

    Josh gets real about his experiences and struggles as a sensitive introvert who doesn’t fit society’s picture of a confident, James-Bond-like man.  He shares stories and strategies, including how proudly owning his temperament helped him find love.

    Jessica and Josh also delve into dating while anxiously attached and how being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) affects relationships. They challenge the stigma and stereotypes and offer a fresh perspective on how sensitivity and anxiety can actually be superpowers in the dating world.

    This episode is a treasure trove of personal anecdotes, expert insights, and practical tips for men who feel they're too sensitive for the dating scene.

    Key Takeaways

    00:00 - Intro

    03:52 - What is anxious attachment and high sensitivity?

    09:56 - What did your dating and relationship journey look like?

    11:30 - How did your anxiety, attachment styles, and sensitivity show up in your dating experience?

    15:22 - How did you work with your anxiety in dating?

    37:04 - Asking someone out as an anxious, highly sensitive man

    52:50 - How did you keep returning to dating?

    Resources and links

    For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast

    Dr. Elaine Aaron’s website, including self assessment for high sensitivity

    Ep. 4 - How pacing can help you find love that lasts

    Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready. ― Nayyirah Waheed

    To get more free dating, relationship, and social anxiety advice, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter to sign up for – you guessed it – our newsletter!

    Looking for some help finding your person? Visit relationshipcenter.com

    Tue, 09 Apr 2024 - 1h 02min
  • 21 - Understanding Jealousy, Compersion & Attachment in Relationships

    Jealous much, Dear Listener? Fret not! In today’s conversation with Julie Barr, MFT, we explore jealousy: what it is, whether it’s healthy, and what to do about it in intimate relationships.

    You may wonder, What is the true root of jealousy? Julie investigates whether jealousy is a fleeting feeling or an ingrained trait and how it differs from envy. We discuss whether jealousy is a natural, inevitable emotion or a trauma response. To round out our exploration of jealousy’s causes, we explore its link to attachment styles, particularly anxious attachment.

    Next, Julie shares practical tips for addressing jealousy in romantic relationships, whether you’re in a monogamous or non-monogamous partnership.  We delve into compersion, a concept from ethical non-monogamy that can benefit people of all relationship structures. Along the way, we take some fun tangents into boundaries vs. control (hello, Jonah Hill!), how metamours are like axe throwing, and what to do if your partner wants to spend time with an ex.

    Our guest, Julie Barr, MFT, is a skilled therapist, dating coach, and couples counselor with over 30+ years of experience. She specializes in working with queer, kinky, and non-monogamous individuals, couples, and polycules.  Learn more about Julie and schedule a free consultation at relationshipcenter.com/about-julie-barr.

    Key Takeaways

    00:00 - Intro

    02:34 - What is jealousy?

    20:23 - Can jealousy be healthy in a relationship?

    39:20 - What is compersion?


    To get more free dating, relationship, and social anxiety advice, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter to sign up for – you guessed it – our newsletter!

    Looking for some help finding your person? Visit relationshipcenter.com

    Tue, 12 Mar 2024 - 55min
  • 20 - Are rigid beauty standards sabotaging your love life? With Jessi Kneeland

    Dear Listener, do negative thoughts about your body or your partner’s body stop you from building a satisfying love life?

    If so, you won’t want to miss our conversation with special guest Jessi Kneeland, a renowned body image coach, author of Body Neutral: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Body Image Issues, and host of the podcast This Is (Not) About Your Body.

    This illuminating discussion explores how rigid beauty standards sabotage romantic relationships.

    First, we tackle the common phenomenon of avoiding dating entirely due to negative body image and how body neutrality can help.

    Next, Jessi provides thoughtful insights on a taboo topic – physical dealbreakers in dating.  They discuss ways to suss out true dealbreakers versus those rooted in rigid beauty standards and psychological defenses. We discuss how prioritizing certain physical traits can significantly narrow one's dating pool,  the implications of such choices, and what to do about it.

    Lastly, Jessi offers advice for couples in which one partner reports reduced attraction in response to their partner’s appearance changing, e.g., after gaining weight or aging. Jessi offers a surprising take on how to unpack these complex emotional terrains so that couples can maintain attraction over the long haul.

    Key Takeaways

    00:00 - Intro

    02:42 - What is body neutrality and why is it important?

    06:49 - How do you date with body image issues?

    23:06 - “I feel badly about this, but I’m just not attracted to people who…”

    41:05 - What would you say to couples where one partner “loses attraction” because their partner’s body has changed?

    Resources and links

    For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast

    Connect with Jessi Kneeland

    https://www.jessikneeland.com/

    Instagram: @jessikneeland

    Tiktok: @jessikneeland

    YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JessiKneeland

    Jessi’s podcast: This is (Not) About Your Body

    Body Neutral: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Body Image Issues by Jessi Kneeland

    To get more free dating, relationship, and social anxiety advice, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter to sign up for – you guessed it – our newsletter!

    Tue, 13 Feb 2024 - 1h 03min
  • 19 - Breakups: Navigating Endings Gracefully & Healing

    Dear Listener, are you navigating a breakup in the New Year? You’re not alone -- the holidays are hard on relationships. Some researchers and experts have even deemed December 11th “Breakup Day” because it sees the most relationship endings.

    That’s why we’re kicking the year off with "Breakups: Navigating Endings Gracefully & Healing." Psychotherapist and breakup guru Laia Pedreño Mateu offers compassionate insights about how to break up kindly and heal from heartbreak.

    In this heart-to-heart conversation, we delve into how to part ways with sensitivity and respect, addressing the daunting question: How do you break up with someone thoughtfully? Laia shares her expert advice on handling the immediate aftermath and the natural feelings of abandonment that may follow. We explore practical steps and mindset shifts crucial for healing and moving forward from a breakup.

    Discover how to respond well when someone breaks up with you, turning a period of pain into one of growth and self-discovery. We wrap up with empowering strategies to rebuild your sense of self and emerge from a breakup stronger and more resilient.

    Key Takeaways

    00:00 - Intro

    02:53 - How do you break up with someone?

    24:04 - How do you respond well when someone breaks up with you?

    34:33 - How do you heal from a breakup?

    Resources and links

    For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast

    About Laia: https://relationshipcenter.com/about-laia-pedreno-mateu

    Ep. 7 - Stay or go? How to know whether to break up or commit to your relationship

    I-Statements blog post

    How to fix a broken heart | Guy Winch

    How to Not Die Alone, by Logan Ury

    Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas

    Mend app

    Ep. 4 - How pacing can help you find love that lasts

    What to Look for in Partner free guide

    Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.― Nayyirah Waheed

    To get more free dating, relationship, and social anxiety advice, go to relationshipcenter.com/newsletter to sign up for – you guessed it – our newsletter!

    Looking for some help finding your person? Visit relationshipcenter.com

    Tue, 09 Jan 2024 - 1h 01min
Afficher plus d'épisodes

Podcasts similaires à I Love You, Too