A Rabbi and a Lawyer Walk Into a Bar

Asher describes his new Ann Arbor gig, as all eyes remain on Michigan this election year.  Speaking of politicians, we discuss whether Schumer is such a shomer and why Proxmire should be better known.  John questions whether those red pins at the Oscars were about our shared humanity, or something more sinister.  As Purim arrives, we approach joy in a time of pain, learn moral self-defense, and consider how quickly misfortune can be reversed.

Asher describes his ongoing Israel advocacy efforts, including his recent trip to the Holy Land, which included visiting hospitals, picking lettuce, and reveling in his strange love of driving there. We then discuss Bibi’s role in history, and how it would have been improved by early retirement. After some Harvard schadenfreude, John defends his negative campaign against Chanukah in his shul’s version of the famous Latke-Hamantash Debate.

Asher describes being one of almost 300,000 at the Israel rally, while John joined virtually.  We turn our ire on fellow Jews who give aid and comfort to the enemy, and suggest mini-cherem for them.  After questioning whether we can be simultaneously frightened and emboldened by current events, we end on a note of Thanksgiving – and kosher turkey.

Enjoy Thanksgiving!

We lament the “useful idiots” who support Hamas, but derive hope from our true allies.  Asher surprisingly announces his political aspirations, while John (an avid C-SPAN viewer) advises caution.  Asher memorializes Samantha Woll, and we compare notes on our crying habits these days.  We rejoice in the newfound Jewish unity and faith, and John reminds us that humor is a Jewish superpower in times of trouble.  

In our most somber episode (hopefully ever), we discuss how we celebrated Judaism’s happiest day on Israel’s saddest day.  Asher taps his expertise on Islam to explain the 10/7 perpetrators, while we try to understand the mentality of their supporters worldwide.  So much for Asher’s upcoming “shared society” trip to Israel.  As usual, we end on a positive note, in this case the return of Jewish unity – for now.

We discuss our respective Rosh Hashanas, including Asher’s geopolitical sermons and John’s unexpected rendition of Dem Bones for his congregation.  For Yom Kippur, Asher explains how we should approach repentance, both among individuals, and between individuals and “The Place.”  We then unpack the Yom Kippur service, including why some Jews pray like Muslims.  Of course we had to mention Mr. Spock’s famous gesture.

The new year always brings the possibility of a fresh start, so Asher and John discuss the value of incremental improvement, both in jiu-jitsu and in life.  Asher explains what to expect when Rosh Hashana falls on shabbat (what, no shofar?).  We then unpack all those holiday greetings you’ll be hearing over the next few days.  Once you’ve plumped up from holiday meals, it’s time for the Jewish version of intermittent fasting.

Law professor, author, and activist Amos Guiora joins the podcast to provide his unvarnished and sometimes controversial views on a variety of subjects, including the state of affairs in the State of Israel.  Subtle he ain’t.  Being in Elul, we consider how his scholarship on enablers and bystanders can help us refine our cheshbon hanefesh (accounting of our soul) before the New Year.  Buckle up for a bumpy ride, and stay tuned for next week as we unpack some of his more provocative opinions.

Romance blossoms as Asher and John discuss Tu B’Av, the Jewish day of love.  They get an assist from Asher’s wife, Rachel, a modern day matchmaker with a guaranteed spot in the afterlife.  Finally, our hosts plan their dream job of operating a kosher resort on the West Coast (of Michigan).

We celebrate our first podcast birthday during the Nine Days, and Asher spills the secret for keeping sermons fresh after the first year.  John describes the tragic events that we commemorate on Tisha B’Av, and Asher tells us what to do about them.  We discuss whether it’s a halachic obligation to watch Operation Thunderbolt during this time and, speaking of which, how difficult it is to explain the 70s unless you lived through them.

What’s the bracha over a tornado?  A Muslim, a Christian, and a rabbi (sounds like another podcast) visit the Holy Land, and, like David Draiman from Disturbed, Asher delivers a positive report – except regarding proposed judicial reforms.  We discuss requirements and customs surrounding the 17th of Tammuz and the Three Weeks, and John questions whether rebuilding the Third Temple now ourselves is a good idea (spoiler alert: no).

There’s No Place Like Home

What’s the bracha over a tornado?  A Muslim, a Christian, and a rabbi (sounds like another podcast) visit the Holy Land, and, like David Draiman from Disturbed, Asher delivers a positive report – except regarding proposed judicial reforms.  We discuss requirements and customs surrounding the 17th of Tammuz and the Three Weeks, and John questions whether rebuilding the Third Temple now ourselves is a good idea (spoiler alert: no).

Summer is finally here!  While normal people spend those nights having BBQs and visiting the beach, John is teaching Holocaust and the Law, and the lessons for today.  We discuss the recent graduation speakers who invoked anti-Zionism’s greatest hits, and how we should consider responding.  Speaking of speech, Asher ponders what the Chofetz Chaim would think about Yelp.  He then describes why rabbis won’t be replaced by ChatGPT anytime soon.

Asher describes his meaningful interfaith trip down South to explore African-American history.  Was Shimon Bar Yochai the inspiration for MTG’s Jewish space lasers?  We discuss how the UK’s Chief Rabbi spent his most famous “digital detox,” and how it turned out better than 1189.  Finally, it’s time to break out the cheesecake and the coffee for Shavuot as we celebrate our spiritual liberation.

Jews are in a period of semi-mourning as we count the days of the Omer after Passover.  So it’s only appropriate that this episode is heavier than most, as we discuss the Holocaust, funerals, yahrtzeits, and plagues.  Luckily, Asher infuses his patented optimism throughout the episode and helps us conclude on an uplifting note, as we discuss both the afterlife and birkas ha-ilanos, an annual prayer for newly flowering trees.  We also debate whether Asher should buy a round at his local neo-Nazi biker bar.

Asher explains how to seek and destroy chometz without collateral damage.   It’s then Seder time.  We do a speed round of everything you need to know to keep your participants from becoming too grumpy, and maybe even somewhat engaged.  And don’t forget to count the Omer!

With the recent large bank failures, John is excited that banking lawyers are cool again.  We then discuss lessons from Nuremberg for the ICC to use against Russian leaders.  We are joined by Rabbi Capers Funnye, who leads Beth Shalom B’nai Zaken Ethiopian Hebrew Congregation, for fascinating insights about his community and his dialogue with Louis Farrakhan.  Finally, we start revving up our blowtorch for Passover cleaning.

Having survived the Day of Hate, we discuss our obligation to eradicate Amalek – but don’t try that at home.  Asher then pivots to the story and mitzvot of Purim, and John describes the parallels between Haman’s sons and the Nuremberg defendants.  We then grapple with the ongoing growing pains of Israel’s democracy.

We give thanks to our listeners, who lifted us up to #194…among Jewish podcasts, and we ask them to help us beat the Chofetz Chaim at his own game.  Speaking of numbers, we unpack the 10 Utterances (not Commandments), and Asher provides some unique insights into each one.  Speaking of the Big Ten, Asher describes his experiences in the wake of the Michigan State shooting, and how humanity should aspire to be like one person with one heart.  We end by discussing how far we should take criticism of Israel.

We discuss whether Tu BiShvat is a tree hugger holiday or just a Jewish tax day — or both — as well as the delicious (except for the carob fruit) kabbalistic seder associated with the holiday.  Asher then describes his favorite rabbinic dynasty, the Soloveichiks, and their continuing role in American society.  John then finally turns the tables on Roberta Rosenthal Kwall, his former law professor, by asking her some hard questions.  She explains her recent book, Remix Judaism, and relates the Talmudic passage describing the profession-dependent recommended frequency of, ahem, intimacy that husbands should provide to their wives.

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Asher describes his MLK weekend church visits and John aspires to sing with a gospel choir.  Speaking of outreach, John eats bagels with a recovering neo-Nazi.  We then invite Jeremy Treister to describe his journey from eruv checker to the 21st Maccabiah Games gold medal track cyclist. 

John shares some surprising Jewish twists from his European vacation, including an evangelical shofar, German stumbling stones, “Pappa Don’t Preach” at a kosher restaurant, L’As du Fallafel at Le Marais, and so much more!  After worrying that John was invaded by body snatchers for being too cosmopolitan, Asher explains how to confront the vicissitudes of life and then takes a run for the border.

We start by explaining why Mike Pence tweeted the wrong candelabra.  Asher then describes how Jews can approach the Christmas season, and we then compare the obscure Nittel Nacht observance with Vegas.  John explains why the Central Time Zone is such a bummer on New Year’s Eve as we wish everyone a wonderful new year.

Wish us mazel tov in reaching our 18th episode without being cancelled, literally or figuratively!  Speaking of getting “chai,” we get into the weeds about marijuana under both secular and Jewish law.  We then jointly get blunt about Chanukah, including why Jews generally don’t light up for the “Festival of Lights.”

Former Second Lieutenant Asher Lopatin, U.S. Army, describes his quest for “shared society” in Israel.  John’s college roommate, Brigadier General Mark Clingan, USMC, also discusses his “work trip” to Israel, as well as his experiences in Europe, including Valentine’s Day in Dachau.  After John bemoans getting older, Asher reminds him of the alternative, leading to a halachic discussion about grandparents and baby namings.  We then contemplate why religious observance doesn’t always fix our moral compass, and how to avoid a heart of darkness.

A recent shivah house visit prompts John to ask Asher about the mourning custom.  Who is Othniel Ben Kenaz and what’s his connection to the recent disturbances in Hebron?  We then analyze Thanksgiving through a Jewish lens, and Asher offers tips on how we can keep the knives down this year (except when carving the turkey).  Finally, Asher wishes John a happy birthday on what is also an important day in Jewish history.

We ponder whether Roe-vember stopped the Red Wave, leading us to the halachic view of abortion, and why it differs from the fundamentalist Christian perspective.  Doug Klein, our first guest(!), then explains his Zionist Guide to the World Cup.  It wouldn’t be our podcast without yet more on the antisemitism front (thanks Dave Chappelle), before John ends on a note of responsibility and Asher ends on a note of tolerance.

(Rabbi) Asher (Lopatin) describes his adventures at the other General Assembly.  We then unpack the latest Israeli election, and how American Jews should respond to the results.  Asher explains kosher issues surrounding whisk(e)y, our favorite libation.  Before ending with Sodom and Gomorrah, John probes how far traditional Jews can push the boundaries of “veggie traif” – for a friend.

As we celebrate our bar mitzvah episode, and wait for our fountain pens to arrive, Asher describes the halachic underpinnings of the popular ritual.  Because it’s Rosh Chodesh Marcheshvan, and therefore don’t have any Jewish holidays to observe, we discuss the Jewish take on Diwali and Halloween.  We then pivot to Noah’s travails in this week’s parsha, including becoming drunk (as a pig?) and having a bad (some say very bad) encounter with his progeny.  We end on a happy note as the Motor City Cruise, much to Asher’s delight, nabs former Yeshiva University basketball star Ryan Turell.

Because this is the “Genesis” episode of the year….Now that COVID hits our podcast, we ask why there is a “Land of Confusion” among some Jews regarding modern medicine.  Asher tells us that if we don’t strictly construe the Torah, we are not “Throwing It All Away,” and thinking otherwise may be a “Misunderstanding.”  We discuss the Jewish view on gender without getting “In Too Deep.”  “That’s All!”

So many holidays, so little time.  As we move through Sukkot, while avoiding skunks, we squeeze in Hoshana Rabbah, Shemini Atzeret, and Simchat Torah (and its importance to the Top Secret! movie), not to mention the little-known Hakhel ceremony.  Then so many questions.  Is Kohelet/Ecclesiastes a nihilistic manifesto?  Was Barney just a little too good?  Should we care about Kanye?

Warning: this episode is spicier than most.  We start by discussing why we read about sexual ethics on Yom Kippur, and how even the traditional Jewish view on homosexuality is more nuanced than you’d think.  We advise the UC Berkeley law school’s Queer Caucus why it may not want to hold its next event in Hebron.  Asher explains Sukkot, and tries (and fails) to describe its four species while avoiding Freudian slips.  Finally, John officially launches his one-man effort to make Simchat Beit HaShoeiva great again.

Does 5783 mean that we walked around with dinosaurs?  John’s trip to Philly prompts a discussion of the Liberty Bell and the Jewish view on Jewish slavery.  We then discuss Asher’s White House adventures, and how Jewish celebrations there never fail to impress.  Finally, we wrap up with concepts to internalize for Yom Kippur, and how chickens are for eating (if treated humanely), not for waving above your head.

Who has more exciting conferences, rabbis or banking lawyers?  We explore the positive role of the Treasury Department, and the not-so-positive role of the State Department, while discussing the new PBS show about the Holocaust.  Asher gets on his soapbox about Israel, we praise the Michigan Maccabi, and then wonder if DeSantis read the Tochecha.  Finally, we identify how to achieve the right mindset for Rosh Hashanah through t’shuvah, and even (gasp!) the benefits of occasionally playing hooky from praying.

Should Jews really be driving forklifts, and is asking that question antisemitic?  Asher and John then discuss superheroes, both real (9/11) and imagined (Sabra).  After unpacking the Rosh Hashanah seder, our co-hosts then pivot to themes of royalty and Rosh Hashanah.  We marvel at the similarities between the upcoming coronations in England and in synagogue, and discuss whether God is an adherent of servant leadership.

Our co-hosts discuss cultivating an attitude of gratitude, even for comfort-fit pants.  Asher then explains life lessons we can learn from golf.  They then discuss space, the final frontier, and Asher assuages John’s concerns about being probed by aliens.  With many synagogues undergoing transitions, John asks Asher about the attributes of an effective rabbi, and he explains how synagogues can survive, and even thrive, in the post-pandemic era.

Sending our kids off to school makes us reminisce about our college experiences, which seem like yesterday.  Somehow we also find a way to tie the Ben & Jerry’s divestiture controversy to erotic pasta.  We end by discussing the various traditions of the Jewish month of Elul, and how they should help us prepare for Rosh Hashanah.

Bris or Brit?  However you pronounce it, we “cut” through issues surrounding the circumcision ritual.  We also discuss the rise of “hu-bris” in our modern political discourse and the importance of humility in the Jewish faith. 

We start by discussing Israel’s conflicts with Gaza over the last two years, and how John’s kids visited Israel when they occurred.  Reflecting on those incidents, John discussed the international legal framework for armed conflicts, including jus ad bellum (how wars begin) and jus in bello (how wars are fought).  We then pivot to an audience request for Asher to discuss kosher wines, including how they are produced, what separates them from ordinary wines, and what philosophical lessons should be learned from those distinctions.  We try to keep our meanderings to a minimum, with mixed success.

The three weeks between the fasts of 17 Tammuz and 9 Av are the saddest days in the Jewish calendar.  Although normally an upbeat podcast, we’ll explore this period through the lens of the Highland Park parade shooting, which occurred near John’s home.  We’ll discuss how rabbis help their congregants cope with catastrophic events.  We end on an optimistic note, talking about how to reverse the sinas chinam (baseless hatred) that seems to permeate our society, and that led to those earlier tragedies.

In the genesis of our new podcast, we introduce ourselves to a world that we hope is listening.  We discuss our respective backgrounds and how we met as Rabbi and congregant (later President) of Anshe Sholom B’nai Israel synagogue in Chicago.  

We talk about deciding to launch this podcast after almost 30 years of schmoozing without a microphone, and what listeners can expect if they lend us their ears.