Sex for Saints

Initiating sex is really important in your relationship, but it can also be really hard. Because of societal norms, we sometimes think that men should always initiate because women should be more passive in bed. This can lead to resentment, especially when he is always being rejected. Now, I’m not saying that women always need to initiate sex or always say yes, but I am saying that talking about it is key. So, in this episode, let’s talk about how initiating sex can be a burden, but it doesn’t have to be.

Sexual Resentment is a complex emotion where we feel our needs are not being met in one way or another. If we take a step back and look at the stories that we are telling ourselves about our spouse and their inability to meet our needs, we can see that those stories are simply not true. They are not serving us well and in fact are eroding our connection and trust in our marriage. So, how do you change that narrative you’ve been telling yourself about why your spouse isn’t meeting your needs? Let’s talk about it.

McArthur Krishna's Books:

Cherish - Vol 1

Cherish - Vol 2

A Girl’s Guide to Heavenly Mother

A Boy’s Guide to Heavenly Mother

For the last couple of episodes, we’ve been talking about the different levels of sex. So, in this episode, we’re going to talk about the pinnacle of marital intimacy - Level 3 Sex. I’ll explain all about what Level 3 Sex is, why couples would aspire to reach it, and how both partners can contribute to this sacred and transformative journey. This is the destination that I want for every couple! Listen in as I explain the why’s and how’s of Level 3 Sex.

In the last podcast, we talked about Level 1 Sex, what it is, and what we can do about it. So, in this podcast, we are talking about Level 2 Sex, what it is and why you’d want to level up your sex life. Level 2 Sex is not the end of your sexual journey, but rather part of the journey. It’s the zone where you’re not quite at the peak of desire, but you’re certainly not in the valley of disinterest either. It’s like standing at the edge of a pool, dipping your toe in, but not fully diving in just yet. Are you ready to level up your sex life to Level 2? Listen in!

And don’t miss the next podcast all about Level 3 Sex!

In this episode, we’re diving into a topic that might resonate with many of you - Level 1 Sex. What is it? What isn’t it? And most importantly, how can we move towards a more fulfilling experience in our intimate relationships? I’ll answer these questions and more as we discuss how each partner might contribute to Level 1 Sex and why it’s hard to break out of it. There is better sex out there my friends! It starts with a willingness to change. So let’s start today!

Sexual disappointment is a complex emotion. Whenever we have expectations and those expectations aren’t being met, it’s natural to be disappointed. But what really matters is how we deal with that disappointment. Do we pretend we’re fine? Do we get angry? Do we avoid the emotion? Or do we talk about it? We are surrounded by examples of what a ‘real’ sexual experience should look like, but they aren’t reality. Having desires and fantasies is wonderful, but once we let in the expectations, that’s where disappointment comes from. Let’s talk about what we can do to overcome the sexual disappointment in our relationships that’s causing us to be disconnected from our spouse.

When asked, “Are you using your wife for sex?”, most men would say, "Absolutely not”! But is that true? Many men use their wives for sex without even realizing they are doing it. They don’t do it maliciously, but that doesn’t mean they don’t do it. In this episode, let’s talk about what it means to use your wife for sex, why you do it, and how to change that habit. This episode is for men and women who want to break out of a sexual habit that isn’t getting you the connection you need or want in your relationship.

In this episode, let’s talk about one of the most powerful tools in your relationship toolbox - relational listening. What is relational listening? It’s more than hearing, it’s understanding. So, how do you use it in conversations? Let’s talk about that! Listen to this episode to know what to do before, during, and after having a relational conversation with your spouse. Learn how to create a safe space for both of you to express your desires, fears, and fantasies so that you can have that fulfilling sexual relationship you’ve always wanted.

Sexual desire is much more complex than many of us are led to believe. Desire is multifaceted and must be examined from a biological, psychological, and sociological standpoint. Why do I talk about desire so often? Because a lack of desire is the number one thing that women come to me for help with. They tell me that their desire has just disappeared and they have no idea where it’s gone. So, let’s dive into what goes into desire and maybe how to get it back.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what we all want in our relationships and what that means to our relationships. So, today I’m going to share with you the four things that we all want in our sexual relationships. We may call them different things, but everyone wants essentially the same thing. I am also going to talk about what happens when these things we want aren’t happening in our sexual relationships. And what you can do about that. You see, the absence of these foundational values can lead to a host of challenges that impact both the marital and sexual aspects of a relationship. Let’s see what we can do about that!

I am so excited for you to hear this interview with Dr. Kelly Casperson. We talk about what you and your partner need to know about women’s hormones. We as women don’t get a lot of information about hormones in general but especially during perimenopause and menopause. Even if you’re not quite there yet, you are going to want to listen to what Dr. Kelly has to say because we will all go through this! This is an episode you are going to want to share with all of the women in your life.

Dr. Kelly Casperson is a urologic surgeon, author, sex educator, and top international podcaster whose mission is empowering women to live their best love lives. She combines education, humor, and candor in her podcast, You Are Not Broken, where she dismantles the myths people have learned and normalizes healthy, enjoyable sex worth desiring. For more information, follow Dr. Kelly on Instagram (@kellycaspersonmd), or visit kellycaspersonmd.com.

I know that some of us, both men and women, feel that female-centric sex is selfish. But it absolutely is not! Let’s talk about why women may not want to transition to a female-centric approach to sex and why men might not want to as well. But when it comes down to it, a female-centric approach to sex can be a transformative journey for couples, deepening their intimacy, connection, and satisfaction. Want to learn how? Listen in!

At first thought, money and sex may not seem to have a lot in common. But if you think about it, when you improve something about your relationship, it often extends to all of your relationship. That’s why I asked Ruth Liebel to join me on the podcast to talk about money. Ruth is an amazing financial coach that will help you see that we often come into our marriages with different ideas of what it means to be “good” with money. Listen to get some clarity about how you manage your money in your marriage, and how improving that part of your relationship will improve your sexual relationship as well.

Ruth Liebel (Lee-bull) is a financial coach who teaches Christians how to make decisions with their resources that improve their quality of life and support their values. She specializes in helping couples get on the same page, and in creating healthy boundaries around money. Too many lives, marriages, and families are short-changed, even destroyed, by financial chaos. The solutions to so many financial problems are simple and can become commonplace in our homes.

Ruth got her bachelor’s degree in family finance (debt free) and did her practicum in financial counseling. She has worked with domestic violence shelters, HUD, Head Start, churches, and non-profit organizations. She is a certified YNAB Budget Coach, completed Ramsey Solutions Master.

Coach Training, and was a Ramsey Preferred Coach the first two years of her coaching business. Ruth is madly in love with her husband of 17 years, and the biggest fan of her four kids. Her husband came from a very different financial culture than her, and it has been a long, diligent process to create a financial theology and plan that satisfies them both. She knows "good debt" does NOT feel good; vulnerability is scary; healthy boundaries are the difference between joy and

hell; and having somewhere safe to process your thoughts and options is a total game-changer. She absolutely loves her life now, and loves helping people create a life they love as well.

You can find her:

At her website: www.ruthliebelcoaching.com

On Instagram: @ruthliebel

And by emailing her: ruth@ruthliebelcoaching.com

Sex, intimacy, and personal growth are all tied together. And when your partner doesn’t want to grow sexually, but you do, it can cause a lot of conflict. It’s not uncommon to find yourself in a situation like this, so in this episode, I’m going to share with you three steps to take to understand the situation completely. I’ll even share with you what to say that may help the situation.

I recently was a guest on the Live Your Why podcast with Tammy Hill. I thought the episode was so good, I asked Tammy if I could share it with you as well. She was excited to share what we talked about with you too! So listen in as I share some parts of my story that you may not have heard yet, along with talking about what mature feminine sexuality is. And no, we’re not talking about seniors, but all of us. So, let’s talk about why we need mature feminine sexuality and how it actually helps us get closer to our Heavenly Parents. You’re going to love this episode!

Wow! Episode 300! I can hardly believe it! I remember nearly six years ago when I started this podcast that I could hardly imagine what 100 episodes would look like, let alone 300. So today's episode is a little different. I asked people to call or write in about an episode that was impactful for them. Join me as I share with you what they had to say. 

Have you ever been on a road trip and heard the words, “Are we there yet?” That person is just focused on the destination, not the journey itself. The same thing happens in our sexual relationships when we just focus on climax. Our world places so much emphasis on instant gratification that it is easy to let that thought into the bedroom. Are we relishing in all of the minute details and interactions that can lay claim on our body and our heart or are we like the kids in the backseat who ask over and over “are we there yet?” In this episode, let’s take a look at how we focus on our sexual journey, rather than just the destination. I will share with you seven key elements that are crucial for every relationship and contribute to a fulfilling and meaningful experience.

I have had a lot of questions lately about how to safely have anal sex so I’m going to answer those questions here. Anal sex is often intriguing for many couples, and while there seems to be quite a bit of desire to do it from one or both partners, there’s often a reluctance, which is understandable. So whether you’re a curious individual or a couple looking to add something new to your repertoire, this episode will guide you through the ins and outs of anal pleasure, focusing on safety and enjoyment. Join me for this step by step guide.

We are almost at episode 300 and I would love to do something a little bit different and special for this episode.  I would love it if you were willing to call in and leave me a voice message with something that was particularly impactful for you.  My goal is to have a few that I can air with Episode 300.

Call 385-424-1032

This is a number that goes straight to voicemail, so you won’t be bothering me and can call anytime.

You can leave your name or do it anonymously.

Just share something that has been particularly impactful for you and if you can what Episode # and the title it was. It can be really short or a couple of minutes long.  This would mean so much to me, so thank you!  The deadline to submit this is Monday, January 15, 2024.

I want you to prioritize sex in the new year. I hear from clients all the time that they just don’t have time to have sex. That’s because you’re not making it a priority. Why have more sex? Because it helps you have a healthier and more fulfilling connection with your partner. Here are my practical tips on how to make sex a priority in the new year! You are going to LOVE number 7!

We are almost at episode 300 and I would love to do something a little bit different and special for this episode.  I would love it if you were willing to call in and leave me a voice message with something that was particularly impactful for you.  My goal is to have a few that I can air with Episode 300.

Call 385-424-1032

This is a number that goes straight to voicemail, so you won’t be bothering me and can call anytime.

You can leave your name or do it anonymously.

Just share something that has been particularly impactful for you and if you can what Episode # and the title it was. It can be really short or a couple of minutes long.  This would mean so much to me, so thank you!  The deadline to submit this is Monday, January 15, 2024.

We have often talked about spontaneous desire vs responsive desire on my podcast. But today, I want to go a little deeper into the responsibility you have if you happen to have responsive desire. Often women, and some men, have responsive desire, but that doesn’t mean that their partner is always in charge of initiating. You can have a high sex drive and even be the higher desire partner with responsive desire. Let me show you how!

Clients will often tell me that they don’t need to use lube because there isn’t anything wrong with them. This could not be further from the truth! There are many things that will affect your natural lubrication, including stress or dehydration, so having some lube you love at your fingertips will only make sex better. In this episode, we’re going to talk about why we use lube, how to choose the right lube and what lubes I like the best. You should be using lube! Here’s why.

Some of my favorites:

Coconu carries my favorite water-based and oil-based lube.  Their hemp infused oil-based is a favorite of mine and can enhance orgasms.  Use the code Amanda at checkout for 15% off.

Uberlube is another favorite of mine.  This one is silicone based.  It has vitamin E, is so silky and soft, feels good on my skin, and is long lasting.  It is also flavorless.

Sutil is recommended if you have had a decrease in estrogen levels, either with menopause or breastfeeding.  

Other brands I’ve either tried or heard good things about: Sliquid, Aloe Cadabra, Waterslide, YES, and The Butters.

This holiday season, can I suggest a new tradition? Giving, and receiving, sexy holiday gifts! When we’re thinking about gifts for our spouse, we often think about what they need or want, and while that’s great, I think as a couple, it’s important to use this time to give each other something that helps turn up the heat and the desire in the bedroom. It doesn’t have to be elaborate. It can be as simple as a sexy playlist. Join me as I share with you 6 ideas on how to have a sexy holiday this year!

I have a friend who has 7 kids, all born in September. That means that they were all conceived around Christmas. We’ve often joked about this with her, but it turns out that they aren’t the only ones who get especially horny during the holiday season. In fact, more babies are conceived in December than any other month! Why is this? That’s what we’re talking about in the episode. There are some biological factors, some psychological factors, as well as some social and environmental factors that are playing a role in this, but whatever the reason, it’s a great time of year to connect sexually with your spouse!

I’m speaking with therapist Jeff Lundgren, again, today about internal family systems. It’s a therapeutic modality that he uses in his practice that I find fascinating. If you’ve ever seen the movie Inside Out, you’ve had an introduction to this type of therapy. So, in this episode, we talk about where the internal family systems came from, and most importantly, how it can help us in our sexual lives. I invite you to join us for this fascinating look into our minds.

Jeff Lundgren is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and holds a certificate as a Psychedelic-Assisted Therapist Provider. Jeff is a member of the Mormon Mental Health Association and the owner of a private group practice in Millcreek - Oak Branch Counseling. Jeff lives in Salt Lake City. He has a passion for the outdoors, music, autocross, and the joys of fatherhood.

At times in my coaching career, I’ve been asked by clients about the use of psychedelics in sex therapy. I know that this may be a controversial topic, but I think it’s important to be given all of the information so you can make the decision for yourself. I am excited to have Jeff Lundgren on the podcast today to talk about it. This interview is fascinating! We talk about the history of psychedelics and their use in therapy. And Jeff shares some success stories he has witnessed in clients who used psychedelics to heal sexual dysfunction. Even if you’ve never been curious, I would still encourage you to listen to this episode to learn more about how to heal dysfunction in your life.

Jeff Lundgren is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and holds a certificate as a Psychedelic-Assisted Therapist Provider. Jeff is a member of the Mormon Mental Health Association and the owner of a private group practice in Millcreek - Oak Branch Counseling. Jeff lives in Salt Lake City. He has a passion for the outdoors, music, autocross, and the joys of fatherhood.

Most of us will say that our marriage is our most important relationship.  Yet we often let things get in the way of making it great and our marriage gets put on the back burner.  Whether that is kids, work, hobbies, or church callings, we don’t put enough into our relationship.  And that relationship is barely surviving instead of thriving.  And when our relationship suffers, often so does our sexual relationship. So in this episode, let’s talk about 11 ways to make a marriage thrive. We’ll discuss how these strategies can help both your marriage relationship and your sexual relationship because we often talk of sex as a need, but it’s not a need like air, food or water is a need. But it is a need for the thriving marriage that we want.

I think we all want to have an intimate marriage, but we often miss one important step in achieving that. To have an intimate marriage, we must understand and make room for both partners’ wants and desires, without judgment or shame. But what I often see happening is that one partner thinks their wants and desires matter more than the other partner and they expect their partner to accommodate them. Or, I also see that one partner suppresses their wants and desires or preferences to accommodate their partners. This can create resentment, anxiety, and guilt. So, why do we do this and what can we do about it? That’s what we’re talking about in this episode.

Have you ever thought about how food can affect your sex life? That’s what I’m discussing today with my guest and fellow life coach Lisa Salisbury. Thinking about what you put in your body and what you want from your body are important. But, let me be clear, we’re not talking about counting calories or macros or anything like that. We’re talking about listening to your body and knowing that if you’d like to have sex tonight, it might be better to not finish your meal and be overly full. I’m so excited for you to hear this interview. It is a great one!

Lisa Salisbury is a life coach for health and weight loss for women who want to lose weight without counting and calculating their food. As a former chronic dieter, Lisa knows what it’s like to  be all-consumed with everything that goes into your mouth. It was only when she learned the tools and skills through coaching that she was able to drop the dieting obsession and drop her weight! 

Lisa is a certified Health Coach through Institute of Integrative Nutrition and a certified Life Coach and Weight Loss Coach through The Life Coach School.  She also has a BS from Brigham Young University in Health and Human Performance.  

She takes her clients through a 12 week program designed to help them eat well, think well and live well. When you learn the skill of paying attention to your body and losing weight, you’ll be surprised at how it translates into other areas of life. Craving chocolate & craving more instagram? Same solutions. Avoiding vegetables/protein & avoiding your to-do list? Same solutions. You can hear many of these tools on her podcast Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well. 

You can find Lisa on:

Her website: wellwithlisa.com

Instagram: @well_with_lisa

Her podcast: Eat Well, Think Well, Live Well

And download her go to meals guide at: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/625f1d3d96808aece7b0ee33

Many women tell me that sex is boring for them, which is one of the reasons why they don’t have a strong desire for it.  No one craves boredom.  We crave pleasure, excitement, novelty, and fun.  And if sex is boring, you are probably not having any of those things.  But one of the biggest reasons why women are bored is because they often aren’t being an active participant. What does it mean to be an active participant in your sex life? It means communicating your needs, being willing to try new things, setting the mood, role-playing, and so much more. It’s time to take control of your own sexuality and be a good receiver of pleasure. Listen to this episode to hear even more ways you can be an active participant and a good receiver in sex.

The lack of sex education is a real issue in our country, so often people turn to pornography to learn about sex, which doesn’t actually help our understanding of sex nor our relationships. In this episode, we're diving deep into the topic of pornography and its impact on our understanding of sex and relationships. We'll discuss why pornography isn't a great way to learn about sex, the misconceptions and myths it perpetuates, and the potential problems it can create in our sexual relationships. While pornography is a common form of sexual entertainment, it's not a reliable or healthy source of sexual education.

Orgasms are an amazing experience! For most people, they are the most powerful feeling of pleasure available here on Earth. While men have a recovery period after orgasm, women do not. In fact, having multiple orgasms is something that women can learn how to do. Intrigued? Listen to this podcast to learn 5 ways to overcome any barriers you may have and start experiencing multiple orgasms.

I often get asked by my clients what they can do if their spouse has had other sexual partners. While the reason behind this can vary, it often leaves the spouse who hasn’t had any other partners feeling jealous, insecure, or even resentful. First of all, these feelings are totally natural, but let’s talk about ways to address them and move forward in a healthy way. Join me as I share 7 ways to work through those feelings.

You’ve heard the old adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder,” right? While that can be true, being apart from your spouse can really affect your intimacy. So in this episode, I want to give you 11 real life solutions on how to keep your sex life alive even when you’re miles apart. No need to put that part of your life on hold while your spouse is away. You’re going to especially love #9.

365 Connecting Questions for Couples

Our overall wellness as women is so important for not just our lives, but also our sexual being. So today I’m talking with Holly Henry all about sexual wellness. She is a nurse practitioner who doesn’t just look at the physical symptoms, but the hormonal and beyond to help you live your best life. This podcast is coming out today because we have a very exciting announcement to make! Listen in to find out just what it is.

But first, a little about Holly. She is the founder of Lotti Aesthetics and Wellness. Combined she has 20 years of experience in women’s health and aesthetics. Holly has trained medical providers all over the United States at the National Institute of Medical Aesthetics. She is a certified trainer and provider in advanced women’s health modalities like the O-shot and has performed the service for many years. Her passion has always been to empower women with confidence. Holly not only provides beautiful natural results, she also focuses on the connection between the mind, body, and spirit. Holly brings a gentle touch, compassion, experience, and care to each patient experience.

When I say “physical intimacy in marriage”, what does that bring up? Usually it’s sex. But intimacy is so much more than just sex. It’s eye contact and hand holding. In this episode, we’re going to explore what intimacy is, why it’s important, why it sometimes declines, and how you can keep the flame alive. Or reignite it if it’s gone dim. What level of intimacy do you and your spouse fall into most? Listen in to find out the levels.

I often get asked how to keep the flames of romance burning after you’ve been married a long time. So, that’s what we’re going to talk about today. How do you keep those flames burning and not get stuck in a roommate situation. I have 10 areas with specific examples in each of the ways that you can keep that romance alive and rejuvenated. Remember, love is a journey, not a destination. Stay committed, stay passionate, and stay connected.

Your brain is your biggest sex organ. Have you noticed what you’re thinking about sex? In this episode, we’re going to talk about the mind-body connection when it comes to sex. We’re going to look into gaining sexual thought awareness and how those thoughts shape our most intimate experiences. By cultivating awareness around our sexual thoughts, we can open doors to more mindful and fulfilling experiences.

In Come Follow Me this coming week, we read about Paul’s sexual purity letter to the Corinthians. Because of this, I think it’s a great time to not only talk to your kids about sex, but also talk to their teachers about how they will teach this lesson. We need to break the cycle of shaming our kids into not having sex. And that can start with you. Listen to this episode to learn about how to teach your kids about sex, shame free, so they can have a healthy relationship with sex throughout their lives. I know from personal experience that this is an awkward discussion, but it’s one we need to have so let me help you navigate it.

In the last episode, we spoke about erogenous zones. But if you are focusing solely on these areas without any warm-up or creating the right context for sex, you are missing out on a crucial piece - the importance of foreplay. In this episode, let’s talk about what foreplay means and how important it is for both men and women to have an amazing sexual experience. It is the bridge that allows us to transition from the outside world into an intimate space where we can be fully present with each other and attuned to our partner’s needs, desires, and feelings.

You may remember when Monica taught Chandler about erogenous zones on the TV show friends. (If you don’t remember this iconic scene, the link is below) Chandler was surprised to learn that there were more than 3 erogenous zones. Are you surprised too? In this episode, we’re going to talk about where the erogenous zones are and how best to stimulate them for enhanced pleasure and intimacy. Ready? Let’s go!

Friend’s Clip: https://youtu.be/3NLVior-nLs

Wanting sex so you can feel closer to your spouse or because you want to connect with them is great. But sometimes, we start to seek validation through sex. When we’re seeking validation through sex, we see it as our partner not loving us when we aren’t having sex. We also feel rejected, which can cause a lot of hurt and anger. So, what can we do if we are starting to notice that we need sex to validate us? Listen to this episode to find out.

I often hear from my clients that they feel guilty about certain sexual things. When we really look into it, I question whether they’re feeling guilty, which to me means that they are doing something outside of their integrity, or are they internalizing someone else’s emotions about the subject. So in this episode, we’re going to talk about naming the emotion we’re feeling and if it really is guilt, how to change that feeling.

In this podcast, I’m talking with Crystal Haitsma about triggers. We hear the word all the time nowadays, but what does it really mean and how is it affecting our relationships? Listen in as Crystal and I define what triggers are and how self regulation can help us get over them. This is a great episode!

Crystal, The Parenting Coach is a Certified Life Coach and Canadian homeschooling mother of 4. She combines her background in Psychology with helpful mindset tools, somatic work and emotional processing to help parents change patterns of generational parenting. She helps you parent calm, confident kids that you LOVE to be around- simply, and in a faith-based way. She is the host of The Parenting Coach Podcast where she shares helpful parenting tactics every week. 

Find your parenting personality! Take the quiz here: https://coachcrystal.involve.me/parents-organic

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-parenting-coach-podcast/id1555361139

Podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0qe7qRHbEQ2cMbl4NiVVOP

IG: www.instagram.com/the.parenting.coach 

FB: www.facebook.com/the.parenting.coach

So many women I’ve talked to have said that they don’t have any desire to have sex anymore. It’s just gone. Now, I’ve talked about desire a lot on this podcast, but today I want to talk to you about one thing that I haven’t talked about before and it just may blow your mind. So, listen in while we talk about desire and how it’s affecting your sex life.

Do you not like sex or do you just not like the sex that you're having? Oftentimes, we actually just don't like the sex that we're having. Listen to this teaser Embracing You podcast episode as I coach Quinn on how to make the sex that she is having more enjoyable so she can like it more. 

Are you subscribed to my private podcast, Embracing You!? If not, you should be. Three times a month, you can listen in as I coach actual clients on anything from making sex more enjoyable to how to navigate life after divorce. For just $99 you can get 36 episodes packed full of important information that can help you in your relationship. Just go to AmandaLouder.com/embracingyoupod/ to subscribe today!

Do you worry that you aren’t sexually compatible with your spouse? I think truly being sexually incompatible is rare. But in this episode, we talk about those questions you may be having. What makes for sexual compatibility and what we can do to work on ourselves to make our relationships that much better? If you both are willing to look at yourselves and grow, ultimately you can have that honest conversation you need for both of you to be happy.

One of the most common disagreements I hear from couples about sex are about emotional and physical intimacy and which goes first. In my mind, it looks a lot like a tug of war between the couple to show which is the right kind of intimacy for a marriage. It’s time to drop the rope, and find a better way. Listen to this podcast to hear why we need to find a better way and how to do it.

When I was first married to my first husband, it felt like he ALWAYS wanted sex. If I showed him any affection at all, it had to lead to sex. I, like a lot of women, didn’t want it to always mean I had to have sex. I missed what it was like when we were dating, when we could be affectionate and that’s as far as it went. So, why does this pattern of expectation start and what can we do about it in our relationships? That’s what we’re talking about in this episode. If that pattern is happening in your relationship, let’s work to fix it!

Let me ask you a question. Are you overfunctioning or underfunctioning in your sexual relationship with your spouse? Taking a look at yourself and honestly answering this question can help you have a better relationship. We often get into patterns and dynamics that seem helpful but end up causing more problems in the end. So let’s define what it is and what we can do about it.

This is part two of an amazing interview I did with fellow life coach Julie Balkman. This week we’re talking more about our young adults and how they are really struggling in dating and moving into relationships and into sexual relationships. Whether you're a young adult, either single and dating or newly married or you have young adults, even if you have been married a long time, I think you're going to find some really good, valuable insights into why things are the way they are for you in this episode. If you didn’t hear part one, I would recommend listening to that one first here.

Julie Balkman, founder of the 100 Interviews Project and expert panelist for the LDS dating app Mutual, is a dating expert and certified life coach who helps young adults get out of the dating game and into a real relationship that lasts. The dating game often continues into engagement and marriage, so she also works with newly married couples, helping them build a relationship based on real love and intimacy. With eight years experience working with hundreds of young adults (single and married), she has seen firsthand the desire and need for clear answers, actionable steps, and real results. You can find her at juliebalkmancoaching.com and @lifecoach.julie on Instagram.

This is part one of an amazing interview I did with fellow life coach Julie Balkman. I really wanted to do this interview with Julie because I think a lot of our young adults are really struggling in dating and moving into relationships and into sexual relationships. Whether you're a young adult, either single and dating or newly married or you have young adults, even if you have been married a long time, I think you're going to find some really good, valuable insights into why things are the way they are for you in this episode. Don’t miss part 2 coming next week.

Julie Balkman, founder of the 100 Interviews Project and expert panelist for the LDS dating app Mutual, is a dating expert and certified life coach who helps young adults get out of the dating game and into a real relationship that lasts. The dating game often continues into engagement and marriage, so she also works with newly married couples, helping them build a relationship based on real love and intimacy. With eight years experience working with hundreds of young adults (single and married), she has seen firsthand the desire and need for clear answers, actionable steps, and real results. You can find her at juliebalkmancoaching.com and @lifecoach.julie on Instagram.

Have you noticed that the passion in your sex life has disappeared? It’s time to ignite it again, don’t you think? I was recently on Ashlee Sorenson’s podcast called A Bit Better Everyday and I loved our conversation so much that I asked Ashlee if I could share it with you and she graciously said yes. So, join us as we talk about how we ignite that passion again both in our lives and in the bedroom.

Our definition of sex can really affect how much sex we’re getting. So, how do you define sex? Is sex just penetration and orgasm? Or are there other activities that you define as sex? This isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer but it’s important to ask yourself how you define it and why. Listen as we discuss what a broad definition of sex can do for your sex life.

Have you heard about sleep divorce? "Sleep divorce" is a situation where couples sleep separately on a regular basis to improve their sleep quality due to issues like snoring, different sleeping schedules, or personal preferences. Studies show that it can help save relationships, but it may also cause problems. Listen to this episode to find out what those problems may be and how to make it work in your relationship.

Have you ever been jealous in your relationship? Around 77% of people report feeling at least an occasional jealousy in their relationships. In this episode, we’re talking about jealousy and how a little jealousy in a relationship can be a good thing, but too much jealousy can damage a relationship. Let’s discuss why you’re feeling jealous and what you can do about it.

Sources:

Journal of Personal and Social Relationships Study

Through my own experience and coaching women for five years, I have come to know what the sexual conditioning of women is in our Christian faith, and how to help them. But women aren’t the only ones affected by our teachings. Men hear that they are the head of the household and women are there to nurture them, including giving them what they “need”. Men hear that they are to push down their emotions to be manly. Along with so many other damaging things. So in this episode, we’re going to talk about those misconceptions and, more importantly, what you can do about them.

How does your body image affect your partner? That's what my guest Amber Price and I are talking about in this episode. Even though body image issues is something you see a lot in women, men have body image issues too. Listen in as we discuss what we do, why we do it and what we can do about it. 

You can find more information about Amber at:

Her website 

Instagram

In this episode, we talk about the top 4 reasons for low desire in women that I see in my clients. I break down why women have low desire and what to do about it. So if you want to want sex, but you just don’t, this is the episode for you! I also have a lot of men coming to me to help their wives. Let’s talk about that too.

Here are the episodes referenced in this episode:

Taking Care of your husband’s “needs”

Episode 253 - Consenting to Unwanted Sex

Episode 167 - Is Sex a Need?

Episode 195 - Need-Based Sex

Episode 210 - Blue Balls & Blue Beans

Episode 229 - Duty Sex

Body Image:

Episode 74 - How Body Image Affects Sex

Episode 162 - Attraction & Self-Objectification

Stress:

Episode 226 - The Mental Load That Is Affecting Your Sex Life

Episode 101 - Sex Under Stress

Episode 190 - Creating the Space for Desire 

Gender Norms around Initiation

Episode 169 - Initiating Ideas and Styles

Episode 34 - Cultivating Connection & Desire

Episode 86 - Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire

Episode 98 - Embracing Your Sexuality

Episode 109 - Higher Desires and Lower Desires 

Episode 217 - Reclaiming Desire & Eros

In this episode, I’m talking to Sheri Brasier about how to gain more confidence in the bedroom. Sheri is a life and style coach which means that she empowers women to have great style and in turn gain confidence. In our discussion, we talked about how to improve how you look at yourself in order to improve how you feel about yourself and sex. This really is an interesting discussion on style and how it makes us feel. Listen in and tell me what you think.

You can find Sheri on:

Instagram

Facebook

Her website

Her podcast: Creating Unshakable Self Confidence

You can get a freebie called Style Basics Every Woman Should Have in Her Closet by going to this link.

In this episode, I’m speaking with Katie Runyan of Faithful Fling, a subscription role-playing website. We talk about how to easily add role-play into our marriages. This is such a fun episode! Katie talked about how she created her business because it’s what she was looking for when they first started role-playing. Listen to this episode, and then sign up for a free fling. 

Katie resides in Kansas City, Missouri with her husband and four children who have all flown the coop! She’s left with an empty house but not an empty marriage yet she spends a lot of time begging them to come home for the weekend! You can find her outside doing a lazy run, visiting local donut shops, taking naps or with her nose in a book.

In the Spring of 2022 she finally took the leap and started her own business where she creates role-play dates for you and your spouse to do together, so Katie is the role-play expert!  She named her website Faithful Fling because all of her role-play scenarios will be just between you and your spouse, hence the Faithful part, and she named these fun role-play dates “Flings” because she wanted to apply a fun and flirty word for your role-play date night.  She loves what she does and can’t wait for the moment when Faithful Fling becomes a common name for date night!

Katie is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints who encourages everyone to embrace their God-given sexuality, improve their intimacy and connection with their spouse and learn to have fun in the bedroom! She’s been married for 24 years and they still date each other every week.

You can find her:

On Instagram

On her website

Or email her at katie@faithfulfling.com

Get your first fling for free! 

Rather than dwelling on the questions your brain is offering to you, answer them. Thoughtfully think about them and answer them.  You have the answers already inside of you. I’m so excited to share this teaser from my subscription podcast with you. In this episode, I talk to Jen and Floyd about taking things to the next level. I’ve been working with them for a couple of years now and the change has been amazing. But now they’re ready to go to the next level with their sex life. Listen in to see what that means for them and what questions they have as they do it. Are you ready to go to the next level?

How do I get my wife to develop her sexual self? That is probably one of the most common questions I get from husbands. This question makes the assumption that if I just say the right thing in the right way their eyes will be opened and all will be right in my world. But that is not usually the case. And what it actually ends up doing is creating more unhealthy pressure. So, how do you create healthy pressure? Listen to this episode to find out.

In this episode, I’m speaking with Dr. Cami Hurst about her research into consenting to unwanted sex. This research is ground breaking in understanding why so many middle aged women have no libido. I am so happy to be able to share both what she found in her research and also what to do about it.

Cami Hurst, LAMFT, is a sex and relationship therapist in Meridian, ID. Cami operates a private practice offering therapy, coaching, and online small group education. She is a founder and current President of the Idaho Association of Sexual Health Professionals (ISHP). She holds a PhD in Clinical Sexology and a Master’s Degree in Marriage, Couple, and Family Therapy. Cami is passionate about helping couples and individuals improve their sexual health.

You can find the slides that we reference in the show here.

Find Cami on:

Her website - https://camihurst.com/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/dr.camihurst/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/camijill/

Her podcast, Sex Therapy 101 - https://camihurst.com/sex-therapy-101-podcast

My clients often have transactional relationships with their spouses without even realizing it. In this episode, I want to explain what a transactional marriage is, why we don’t want it and what we want instead. I was recently reminded that people often think of our relationship with our Heavenly Father as transactional when all He wants is a relationship with us. As we pattern our lives after our Heavenly Parents, we can come to realize that the relationship is the most important part of our marriages as well. Let’s talk about transactional vs relational marriages.

A Couple's Guide to Creating a More Divine Marriage eBook

What is empowerment? More importantly, how can we be sexually empowered? In this episode, we’re going to not only answer these questions, but also how to know if we are sexually empowered or if we’re just seeking outside validation. Sexual empowerment feels differently for everyone which is why it’s something we evaluate for ourselves rather than have someone else tell us. Listen to find out how to be empowered sexually.

In this episode, I’m speaking with Joey Mascio. He is a fellow life coach and good friend who normally works with teens helping them become the hero of their own story. But today we’re taking it a step further. A lot of what we think about ourselves comes from when we were teenagers. So we too need to find a way to become the heroes of our stories! Whether you were a teenager once or are raising a teenager, this is a must listen episode!

You can find Joey at:

His website: http://www.sidekicktohero.com/

His Instagram account just for teens: https://www.instagram.com/sidekicktohero/

His Instagram account for parents: https://www.instagram.com/joey_sidekicktohero/

Or his podcast, Secrets for an Awesome Life: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/secrets-for-an-awesome-life/id1504492900

I’m excited to share with you a teaser for my new subscription podcast, Embracing You. In this Embracing You episode, I talk to Emily about how shame is affecting her sex life. We discuss where this shame comes from and some ways to get over it. Sexual shame is something I see a lot in my clients, especially in our conservative Christian culture, even though we don’t always see it as shame. Listen in as I teach Emily what she can do to stop letting the shame keep her from getting what she truly wants.

If you like what you hear, join me in the Embracing You podcast by going to amandalouder.com/embracingyoupod

What is enthusiastic consent and why do we need to talk about it? That’s what we’re going to delve into in this episode. We have to enthusiastically consent to sex every single time. Just laying there and letting him do whatever he wants isn’t enthusiastic consent. Listen in to see how to give enthusiastic consent and how much better it can make your sex life.

In this episode, I am talking to my friend and mentor, Aimée Gianni, about how to have a covenant marriage. So often we stay in our broken marriages because we made a covenant. But what if doing that is actually breaking your covenant? 

Aimée offers some amazing things to think about if we are at the point where we are thinking about divorce. Even if we’re happy in your marriage, her advice can help us progress along the path.

You can find Aimée Gianni at:

https://aimeegianni.com/

Instagram: @aimeegiannims

Love Notes Sign Up: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/63925632df727ca7117b05f5

In this episode, I’m talking with fellow coach and my real life best friend, Crystal Hansen, all about how conflict actually builds intimacy in your marriage. I know this sounds counter intuitive, but it really does work. We all want to feel connected and when we try to avoid conflict, that creates a wedge in our relationships. Crystal shares with us Gottman’s Four Horsemen of conflict and the antidotes for each one. This episode is a great way to start thinking about who we want to be in our marriages next year.

You can find Crystal Hansen at:

http://crystalhansencoaching.com/

Instagram: @crystalhansen_

New Podcast: Couples in Conflict

Often in marriage, if there is disconnect in one part of the relationship, there is also disconnect in the bedroom. That’s how I came to know my guest today, Lisa. After getting married in the Temple, Lisa’s husband had a faith crisis and left the Church. Lisa was angry at him for changing the future that she had envisioned for them. She and her husband found therapy and that really has helped her marriage, but she still didn’t want to have any sort of intimacy in their relationship. That’s what brought her to coaching. I love what Lisa shares about hope and love and joy in this episode. Even if you are not going through the same thing, you will love her message.

My most downloaded podcast episode is #134 - Masturbation and the Church. I published this episode over 2 years ago and it’s still something I get asked about all of the time. It’s a hot topic because of the negative messages we have received about masturbation. So, in this episode, we’re going to look at how masturbation can increase your connection and intimacy in your marriage, if done in a healthy way. Curious? Listen in!

I recently had a client tell me that she has forgotten how to flirt. She wanted to find a way to make her marriage feel like more of a partnership rather than a business relationship. So, here is Flirting 101. Maybe it’s been awhile, maybe you have never been too good at flirting, but flirting is a great way to connect with your husband on a deeper level. Let me show you how!

I often have women come to me wondering why they’ve never had an orgasm. I realize how frustrating it is for both the wife and the husband. I want to help! Why? Because pleasure is important! In this episode, we’ll talk about the 3 things to rule out physically that could be stopping you from having an orgasm. Then we’ll talk about the mental issues that could be keeping you from enjoying orgasms. These are things I help women with all the time. Maybe there’s something you haven’t thought of before.

You may look at the title of this podcast and think, “What does being a good mom have to do with the bedroom?” My guest, Emily Wardrop of Drop the War Life Coaching, shares with us how your thoughts about how you’re doing as a mom affects your whole life, including in the bedroom. Listen to this episode to hear what you can do to not only KNOW that you are a good mom but also KNOW that you are a good lover.

You can find Emily at:

Her website: www.dropthewarlifecoach.com/

Her podcast: Believe you are a Good Mom with Emily Wardrop

Facebook

Instagram 

Download her masterclass on Believing you ARE a Good Mom at: www.dropthewarlifecoach.com/believe

Download her training specifically for T1D Moms at: www.dropthewarlifecoach.com/T1D

“How can I teach my kids about sex?” I get this question all of the time. As we are learning and growing, we want to help our kids have a different experience with sex that we had. I get it. So when I heard about Crystal Bowman and her method of talking to kids about sex, I just knew I needed to have her on the podcast. She shares a better way to explain sex to our children than the way most of us were taught. I absolutely love this method of teaching our preteens, teens, and even young adults, and I know you will too.

I have an exciting announcement! On December 6, I am debuting a brand new private podcast called Embracing You! In this new podcast, I will be sharing coaching sessions with women or couples who have signed up to be coached on their relationship. Because I know the power of coaching. I know that while you listen to someone else being coached, you will learn things that will help you in your life. So, in this episode, I am sharing a teaser of the new podcast, Embracing You! As you listen to this coaching session, watch for things that you can use in your relationship. 

If you’d like to subscribe to my new podcast, do so before December 6 to get the introductory price of $69 for a year. After December 6, the price will be $99 for the year. Don’t miss out on this screaming hot deal! Go to www.amandalouder.com/embracingyoupod to subscribe today!

In this episode, I talk with my good friend and fellow life coach Zach Spafford about modesty and the new For the Strength of Youth guide. We talk about why this new guide is a step in the right direction when we’re speaking to our youth about modesty and living the Gospel. How we need to let go of some of the old traditions we were raised with when it comes to modesty and embrace a new way of looking at things. With examples from our own lives, this is a very interesting episode that you won’t want to miss! 

You can find Zach at:

His website: zachspafford.com

On Instagram: thrivebeyond_forcouples

His podcast Thrive Beyond Pornography

Email him to request a Fireside: zach@zachspafford.com

In this episode, I am speaking with Rhonda Farr. Rhonda is a life coach who works with men and their emotional intimacy. We talk about the high achieving/peacekeeper dynamic that we see so often in marriages. Usually, it’s the husband who is the high achiever and the wife who goes along with what he wants to keep the peace. But as you’ll see, this doesn’t actually help either party. Rather than feeling safe, both spouses end up feeling resentment, anger, anxiety, and depression. So, what can you do if you find yourself in this dynamic? We have the answers.

You can find Rhonda at:

www.rhondafarr.com

On Instagram at rhondafarr_coaching

In this special episode, I spoke with Maddie and Matt. I have been coaching Maddie for a little over a year now. We talked about what my coaching program is and what it isn’t. We talked about how Maddie being coached has changed not only her relationship with her husband Matt, but also with her kids and other relationships in her life. Matt talked about how even though he doesn’t get coached directly, he has learned the tools right alongside Maddie and he has been able to become more like the person he wants to be. If you have ever wondered if my Embrace You Elite Society membership is right for you, this is the podcast to listen to!

If I had a dollar for every time a woman told me that their kids were keeping them from having sex, I would have added a lot to my piggy bank. What I have found is that the kids are often a convenient excuse, but really aren’t to blame for our lack of sex. In this episode, we’re talking about 5 common reasons women give me for children interupting their sex life and the strategies to overcome them. After all, your spouse is the most important relationship you have so let’s work together to help you have a better relationship with him.

I think it’s safe to say that we all want a great sex life. But most of us just don’t know how to get it! When we run into problems with having the sex life we thought we’d have, especially when we waited until marriage, many people, men in particular, feel like they have lost the opportunity to have the best sex of their life. While studies do show that women reach their sexual prime in their thirties, and men in their late teens, this doesn’t mean that you have missed your opportunity! In this episode, we talk about what a sexual prime really is and why we haven’t really missed out on anything. We can have a great sex life at any age!

In this episode I’m talking with Mike Frazier, MD of Strong Men, Strong Marriages. I share what the woman thinks when she says that she doesn’t care if she ever has sex again. And then Mike lets us in on what the men think about. This is a great episode where you can really see what is going on in your husband’s mind when it comes to sex and intimacy and he could get a glimpse into what you think as well. 

If you’d like to learn more about Mike, go to www.mikefraziermd.com or find his podcast, Strong Men, Strong Marriages, on your favorite podcasting app.

Stop settling for bad sex! I talk to a lot of women who just think bad sex is what sex is or that bad sex is better than no sex. This isn’t true. You can have a great sex life that is fun for both you and your partner. Listen to this podcast where we talk about what bad sex is and, more importantly, what good sex is. Never settle for bad sex again!

Have you heard the phrase “sex drive”? I’m sure we all have. But in truth, sex isn’t a drive, it’s a mindset. Why is this important? Because when we think that we need it, or should need it, it becomes a release rather than a way to get closer to our spouse. Listen to this episode to find out what a biological drive actually is, and why it is so important to know that if you don’t want sex, you aren’t broken.

Sex is NOT a Drive Like Hunger, and Here are 2 Reasons This Fact Matters

Come as You Are by Dr. Emily Nagoski

Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch

What is duty sex? Duty sex is when we have sex with our husbands because we “should.” Because it is our duty as a good wife. Because he “needs” it. Because we don’t want him to look elsewhere for it. Or because we are trying to manage his emotions and behavior with it. We have been convinced that we don’t have to want it too. And this simply isn’t true! Duty sex is passionless and doesn’t create the connection that either of you want. So, how do we stop having duty sex? It isn’t an easy process but in this episode, I’ll share with you the two steps to take to fix it.

One of the topics I get the most DMs about is female ejaculation. Either women who do it all the time and want to stop or women wanting to know how to do it and everything in between. In this episode, we’re talking about female ejaculation, how it works, why we shouldn’t be afraid of it, and why it actually is pretty amazing. So, why not give it a try?

She Comes First by Ian Kerner 

Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston

Medical News Today

Healthline

I think most of us want to be righteous. We want to do what is right. But where is that line when it comes to sex in our marriages? That’s what we’re talking about in this episode. Where is that line in the sand is? And which side do you fall on? The answer may surprise you. Have you been thinking you are unrighteous for too long? Listen in!

Do you feel mentally overwhelmed with everything you need to do to take care of your family? With all of the activities, and the doctor's appointments, and the school calendars, not to mention dinner, it gets overwhelming. The answer isn’t to “say no more” or “you’re doing too much.” But what is the answer? Listen to this episode as we talk about how to lighten your load so that you have time to have the wonderful sex life you deserve. 

Fair Play Cards

For many of us, we are better at reading our family’s emotions than our own. Why is that and why does it matter? That’s the focus of this episode. We talk about the 6 emotional styles that actually disconnect us from those around us. We talk about why we need to feel our emotions and why that can be difficult. Are you ready to really feel your emotions so that you can have a more intimate relationship with your spouse? Let’s work on it together.

The 6 Styles of Emotional Disconnection with Alex Howard

Women often come to me wanting me to fix their libido. While I wish I could wave my magic wand and make everything better, I can’t. Much like an iceberg, a low libido is often just what we see on the surface and what you don’t see is what is really causing it. In this episode, I’ll share with you 11 things that could be causing your low libido. The good news? Every single one of these is absolutely fixable! You deserve better sex! Let me help.

Silence can be good, if it’s a comfortable silence. But when we are uncomfortably silent with our partner, especially in the bedroom, we lose the intimacy that is so important in our relationship. In this episode, I talk about the good and bad of silent sex. I share with you some real life examples of uncomfortable silence during sex and what it does to our relationships. Intimacy issues are one of the biggest reasons women come to me for coaching. Are you lacking intimacy in your relationship?

The Archer and His Rosebud by Mindy Michele

Michele G. Miller

Mindy Hayes

Silent Sex Queen - We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle

Orgasm: Pleasure in the Final Frontier -  We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle

This is Why Silent Sex is Awesome

Has your partner ever asked what you wanted in bed, or what felt good, or what you wanted to do next, but you had no idea what to tell him? You are not alone. Many of the women I talk to have no idea what they want in the bedroom, or outside the bedroom for that matter, because most of us were raised to put everyone else’s needs first. In this podcast episode, let’s talk about how to find out what you want in bed. It may just help you in all aspects of your life.

Sources: 

Lifehacker

Verilymag.com

In this podcast episode, I talk with Andrea Giles. Andrea helps women heal from infidelity in her coaching program. We talked about how to build trust with yourself again after finding out you’ve been lied to. We talked about how to decide if you should stay or go in your marriage. This is an impactful conversation that I know will help so many of you.

Andrea Giles is a Certified Life Coach who is dedicated to helping women use the trial of marital infidelity to change their lives for the better. She is host of the podcast, “Heal from Infidelity” and  encourages listeners from all over the globe to get up from off the floor and get moving toward the life they most desire.  

She coaches from personal experience and is driven to show her clients that infidelity can be a springboard for massive internal growth and a marriage of peace and joy. 

When Andrea's not coaching, you'll find her enjoying the simple things in life. She loves to read, kayak on the river in her backyard in Montana, play games with her husband and kids, and snuggle her three grandchildren. Andrea is now married to a widower, and they have 12 children between them. Her journey from "there" to here is an inspiring one. She has created powerful healing for herself and wants the same for her clients.

You can find Andrea at:

Her website - www.andreagiles.com

Instagram - @andrea.giles.coaching

Facebook - Andrea Giles Coaching

Do you fear pleasure? You might be saying ‘no’ but many of my clients do. Think about it. Do you take compliments well? Do you look at others who are pursuing their pleasure and think it’s frivolous or inappropriate? It seems paradoxical because we spend so much of our life in the pursuit of happiness. Where does the fear of pleasure come from? For many of us, it comes from our childhood. Children are the epitome of pleasure! But then we’re told to not be so loud, or not do that. And our brain begins to subconsciously equate pleasure with danger or even death. Listen to this week’s episode to see what you can do about your fear of pleasure. 

Source: 

Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.

Wikipedia - Hedonophobia

When we get married, we often think that if we married the “right person,” then everything will be easy. This is simply not true. Every relationship takes work. In this episode, we’re talking about conscious partnerships. Let’s go through the 10 attitudes/behaviors that characterize a conscious partnership. Any relationship worth having is worth working for!

Getting the Love You Want by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D.

Do you think that your own desires are selfish? Most of us women do. We’ve been taught this by well meaning people either explicitly or implicitly. While our desires are not more important than anyone else's, they are AS IMPORTANT as anyone else’s, including our husband’s, our children’s, or anyone else in our lives. Listen to this episode to see how life changing it can be when we start to look at how being selfish sometimes is actually a good thing.

Do you remember what it was like when you were dating your husband? Every touch was electric. You felt alive, maybe for the first time. That was eros energy. The life-giving energy. The erotic energy. But now, after a few years and a few kids, do you still feel that way? For most of my clients, the answer is no. They have given up too much of themselves to their marriage and children that they don’t even know who they are anymore. Sound familiar? In this episode, let’s talk about how you can regain that eros energy. That energy that makes you feel alive! 

The State of Affairs by Esther Perel

There is a Come, Follow Me lesson coming up in the youth program about the Law of Chastity. I feel that we need to be careful when we’re teaching our kids about sex to not use the fear or shame-based language that was used when we were taught about the Law of Chastity, because I see the results of that every day when I work with my clients. I know that we as parents and leaders are doing the best we can so I created a lesson plan for the youth leaders to know what to say and what to teach and how to say it in order to break that cycle of shame. I’ve also created a parent’s guide to help you talk about this upcoming lesson beforehand. Sex is great! It’s fun! And we want our kids to have that great sexual relationship when they’re married. But we also want to give them the information they need to make an empowered choice.

To download the lesson plan and parent guide, go to: www.amandalouder.com/podcast/216/