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Open Ground is a podcast about enthusiasm for a wise society: spreading encouragement for planting seeds of wisdom with others. In unhurried conversations with therapists, teachers, artists, builders and technologists, host Erik Irvin asks whether our accelerating world can also grow wiser, and explores the relationships, practices and rituals that help. Drawing on contemplative practice, parts work, somatics and integral thinking, each episode looks for common ground. For reflection and education, not therapy or medical advice.
- 1 - Healing Relationships with Parents, with Kan Yan
What would it take to heal your relationship with your parents as an adult? Kan Yan, host of the Parents Reimagined podcast and workshops, shares how he went from dissociating around his father, a Chinese immigrant with a fierce temper, to a weekly family conversation that still continues years later.
We talk about:
Why catharsis rarely changes relational patterns, and why slow "erosion" doesWill and capacity: setting realistic expectations of a parentThe immigrant gap that can feel like centuries between generationsEstrangement and no-contact, and why it often hurts parents mostKan's four-part model: releasing, reimagining, support and experimentationOral histories as a gentle way in with a hesitant parentWhy the parent relationship feels foundational to a stable sense of selfAbout Kan Yan: Kan hosts the Parents Reimagined podcast and coaches adult children who want to transform their relationships with their parents. His own family struggles led him into meditation, psychology and transformative coaching. Before that he earned a law degree from Harvard and worked at the United Nations, McKinsey & Company and MAPS.
Website: parentsreimagined.com
Podcast: Parents Reimagined on Spotify and Apple Podcasts
Substack: parentsreimagined.substack.com
Instagram: @parentsreimaginedpodcastContent note: includes a brief mention of childhood abuse, including sexual abuse (around 47:40).
Chapters
0:00 Open Ground intro
0:10 Welcome: Kan Yan and Parents Reimagined
2:09 How Kan's relationship with his father began to change
4:29 The immigrant gap: "centuries" between generations
6:21 Will and capacity
12:32 Estrangement and no-contact
15:41 The clearing conversation and a year of family therapy
18:56 Catharsis vs. erosion
23:37 Inviting fathers into intimacy
25:16 The four-part model: releasing, reimagining, support, experimentation
29:23 Oral histories and natural empathy
35:32 Why the parent relationship feels foundational
40:11 Chosen family and the family of origin
43:54 Family as ancient ground
47:18 Stories of redemption
48:37 ClosingOpen Ground exists to spread encouragement and enthusiasm for planting seeds of wisdom with others. For reflection and education, not therapy or medical advice.
Sat, 31 Oct 2026 - 50min