Finding Mr. Height: The Podcast

Skyline is back, this time for his send-off from the public pod. He talks about finding out what FMH actually was, going back to listen after their first few dates to scope out the competition, and why hearing your own date recapped on air feels like eavesdropping on a job interview. Ali tells him how close he came to being called Ink Master, he explains the very adult reason the pseudonym stays, and they get into why nobody has ever had to veto anything: the line between private and shareable has never once needed a conversation.

They go back over the two years, including his read on why coming into it from opposite ends is exactly why they landed on the same pace. Ali tells the story of asking someone to be exclusive two years before him and getting a no, and why that made the same question terrifying the second time around. Skyline closes with his honest take on her ending the public show, and the advice he has been holding onto himself.

Updates: one episode left. Eep! Roark and Erica come back next week for the finale. Emmy makes a brief appearance and declines to say hi.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

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For one of the last episodes of Finding Mr. Height, Ali sits down with the two friends she made in a podcasting world she assumed would be cutthroat: Ilana Dunn of Seeing Other People and Talia Koren of Dating Intentionally, recorded separately, back to back.

Ilana was the first podcasting friend Ali ever made, five and a half years ago, and she came prepared with a list of every episode they have done on each other's shows. They get into how much has changed for both of them since, why an ending is not really an ending, and she closes with the thing she says nobody says out loud about dating.

Talia started as a listener and booked a coaching session with Ali the same week she met her husband. Halfway through she turns the interview around: what Ali would do differently if she started over, whether there is another podcast in her, and what she will actually miss.

Before the guests, Ali corrects the count (three episodes left, not two), teases next Monday's episode with Skyline, and reports back on the farewell submissions that closed Friday.

Where to find Ilana:

Seeing Other People podcast, on Instagram @seeingotherpeople and @ilanadunn, on TikTok @ilanadunn.

Where to find Talia:

Dating Intentionally podcast, on Instagram @dating.intentionally.

Timestamps:

Ilanajoins us at around minute 5.

Talia joins us at around minute 24.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

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Serena Kerrigan went on 50 blind first dates on Instagram Live, and she is still making the same argument she made then: most of us decide who a person is before we have met them. She and Ali get into the mirror work behind her new book, out this week, why “being chill” is not an attachment problem but a sign you are with the wrong person, and what they each used to reject people over. Serena would not date younger men, or men who do not drink. Her boyfriend is both.

Serena is the last expert guest of the public podcast, which makes this a full circle for Ali. She started chronicling her own dating life around the same time Serena started hers, and what stuck was watching someone younger refuse to apologize for who she was, and thinking, if she does not feel like she is too much, why do I?

Ali is in San Diego at her mom’s house for a longtime family friend’s wedding, and says ending the pod finally started to feel right this week. Two public episodes left. Submissions for the farewell episode with Roark and Erica close the morning of Friday, September 25.

This week’s Media Mention, the last one, is “Dating Apps Are Dying” in TIME. Ali uses it to dig into the rejection mindset: the longer you swipe, the more rejecting you get, and that is not a character flaw.

Where to find Serena: On Instagram @serenakerrigan, on TikTok @serenakerrigan. Her book Let’s F*cking Date is out now.

Timestamps: Serena joins us at around minute 15.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

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Dr. Katie Rickel is a clinical psychologist and a longtime FMH listener, and over six years of listening she kept collecting moments. Not clinical notes, just things Ali had said on the pod that a psychologist recognized. Eventually she brought Ali the list, and this episode is that list!

It is not a diagnosis nor a therapy session, just a psychologist taking real examples from years of Ali talking about her life and explaining the mechanism underneath them. Katie walks through her CEO and executive assistant metaphor for the ADHD brain, and the two of them use it to re-read the vacation anklets, the texting scripts Ali kept in her Notes app years before the podcast existed, "it didn't occur to me," the bee in her bonnet, the stylist she hasn’t hired, and the Wednesday before a Friday flight when the whole to-do list landed on her chest at once. Katie has a few hypotheses, and leaves Ali with a tip she calls planned procrastination. They ran out of time (it’s six years, after all!), so this is part one.

Ali also shares an update on her ADHD diagnosis, news Patreon heard first, and talks about where this conversation sits in the wind-down of the public pod. A proposal she knows is coming, a foot injury keeping her off the court, and a fashion week that has her back in product rooms all come up along the way.

Timestamps: Katie joins us right at the top of the episode.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

After more than five years and almost 300 episodes, Ali is ending the public podcast. In this solo episode she says it out loud for the first time, and then sits with the harder part: why now, and why she still is not sure it is the right call.

The show will end sometime this fall. Ali does not have an exact date, and she will not say whether this is a true ending or a long pause. She talks about the year her consulting work quietly took over, what she saw when she finally added up her hours, and the two months she spent knowing the answer and refusing to choose it. She kept waiting to feel relief when she pictured it, and it never came.

Patreon, her socials and the full archive are all staying put. Ali is also building a real farewell episode and she wants listeners in it, so if there is an episode you keep coming back to, or you remember exactly what your life looked like when you found the show, she wants to hear it. Send it through findingmrheight.com/podcast, an Instagram DM, or a voice memo to podcast@findingmrheight.com.

This week's Media Mention is four podcast recommendations instead of an article: Normal Gossip, Good Hang with Amy Poehler, A Bit Fruity, and We're Here to Help.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is away this week, so this episode goes behind the Patreon paywall. It pulls together four of her favorite Updates segments from the last few months: designing an engagement ring and then getting immediately steamrolled by the wedding algorithm, admitting how much she hates being seen trying hard at something, a heavy week of grief that turned into a lesson about trusting her own resilience, and a therapy session about catastrophizing that lands somewhere she did not expect.

Every segment in this episode comes from a past Patreon episode, and here is exactly where to find each one in full. The ring and the wedding algorithm: the April 30 (Episode #224) and June 26 (Episode #231) episodes. Being afraid to be seen trying hard: the August 13 (Episode #238) episode. Grief, and learning to trust her own resilience: the July 9 (Episode #233) episode. The therapy session about catastrophizing: the August 6 episode. All of them are available in full and ad-free at patreon.com/findingmrheight, along with a new bonus episode every week.

This week's Media Mentions are a Yahoo Life piece on how the fear of being "cringe" quietly talks people out of trying at all, and a Greater Good report on research finding that we read the very same vulnerable moment as courage in other people and as inadequacy in ourselves.

Content warning: this episode includes a segment on a death in the family and grief, with a mention of Ali's father, from 29:00 to 42:00.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali's personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week's partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is back with another Hot Topics episode answering listener questions. She opens with a question about her own path toward getting evaluated for ADHD: what finally pushed her to pursue a neuropsych evaluation after years of circling the idea, what the five hour eval was actually like, and why she is at peace with the possibility that no diagnosis comes out of it. Her feedback session is still to come. From there, your questions: a boyfriend who keeps making small comments about a girls trip to Portugal, how to tell a date you don't drink without it turning into a whole conversation, a best friend who disappears into every relationship and resurfaces when it ends, and a partner's family who were perfectly polite and never asked a single question in three days.

And by the way: Ali has been documenting the whole ADHD evaluation process week by week over on Patreon, including a live episode breaking down the neuropsych eval itself. For the full deep dive, join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight

In Updates, Ali is running on almost no sleep after the bedroom air conditioner died two nights before a family beach trip, and she recaps a very elder millennial Summer Stage night in Central Park that ended with about fifty people in Scooby-Doo onesies onstage with Simple Plan. Plus a thank you to everyone who sent Charleston recommendations.

This week's Media Mention is an NPR piece, "ADHD looks different in women and poses unique health risks," a five minute listen on why girls get missed, the masking-then-collapse pattern, and the link between estrogen and ADHD symptoms: https://www.npr.org/2026/07/26/nx-s1-5821101/adhd-women-health-diagnosis-missed-treatment

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards:  Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali sits down with Amanda Dames, aka The Kink Consultant, a sex and relationship coach and former NYC dominatrix, for a conversation that might surprise you in its relevancy - even if you don’t consider yourself kinky. Amanda reframes kink as something far broader than it sounds, as the two get into naming what you actually want, how to communicate that desire, and the aftercare that keeps both people feeling safe. And throughout, a theme any couple can use: consent and negotiation are a relationship thing, not just a kink thing.

This week's Media Mention is a Ynet News piece, "The kink world lets us connect with deep emotions creating a richer sexual experience," on how consensual kink, approached with communication and trust, can deepen emotional connection between partners.

In Updates, Ali catches listeners up: she's finally brought on help with her content after doing it all solo, and she's gearing up for a beach week with Skyline's family.

Where to find Amanda:

Website: https://www.amandadames.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_kinkconsultant/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thekinkconsultant/TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@the_kinkconsultantYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thekinkconsultantPodcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-kink-consultant/id1766435920

Grab Amanda's resources discussed in this episode:

Guide for couples with mismatched desire to have more open and honest conversations in a safe framework: https://www.amandadames.com/Speak-Your-Desires-with-Confidence-opt-in-1BDSM Menu for couples who are curious to explore each other's kinks: https://www.amandadames.com/bdsmlist

Timestamps: Amanda joins us at around minute 13.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week Ali sits down with relationship coach Ally Iseman, founder of Passport 2 Pleasure, for a full reframe of the emotion we love to hate. Ally's case: jealousy is not a character flaw or proof of love, it's information, and there's no such thing as a jealous person. She gets into why it hits so physically (her own first real wave of it in her 30s came with literal tunnel vision), the surfing metaphor for building tolerance to it, the three directions we aim the green-eyed gaze, and her step-by-step method for reading what jealousy is actually telling you. Along the way: compersion, why "if you're in a couple, you're already in a threesome," the timeout hand signal she uses with her partner, and scripts for naming jealousy to someone without it turning into an accusation.

Where to find Ally: On Instagram @allyiseman, on TikTok @passport2pleasure, at Passport2Pleasure.com. She also has two free quizzes at myrelationshipstyle.com and thejealousyquiz.com.

Timestamps: Ally joins us at around minute 14.

This week's Media Mention is a University of Montreal study that tracked young adults over two years and how social-media-fueled jealousy quietly erodes relationship satisfaction.

And in updates: Ali catches up on a Montauk pro-am volleyball tournament where she got to play alongside some of the pros she's long looked up to, a spontaneous "frolic day" with Skyline (they picked a NYC neighborhood out of a jar and let Instagram followers call the shots), and some reflecting on community as more friends leave the city.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is joined by Skyline for part three of the moving-in-together series, and this time he is in the chair to answer for the version Ali told solo in parts one and two. They get into whether a 50/50 split actually feels fair, the CFO and CTO roles they have each fallen into, how they divide the chores nobody wants (yes, the litter trade), what it has really been like merging two independent lives into one apartment, and the cats quietly becoming "ours." They also take two listener questions: what to do when you and your partner keep different bedtimes, and how they landed on their sides of the bed. Plus a ring update: it is finalized, and Skyline confirms a proposal is "in the works." No details, and Ali is keeping herself in the dark on purpose.

This week's Media Mention: a TikTok from Beeing (@beeing.app) on the "re-entry," the idea that the first few minutes after you walk in the door set the tone for the whole night.

But first, the two open mid-crisis. They woke up on recording morning to a leaking HVAC unit and soaked floorboards (briefly mistaken for a Logan incident, though he is otherwise six days pee-free), then recap their first-ever "frolic day," a choose-your-own-adventure day around Brooklyn run entirely by Instagram poll.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali's personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more...join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight

Thanks to this week's partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is joined by creator Sam Showalter, who went viral for a series about decentering her own husband. Eleven years into a relationship with her now-husband, she realized how much invisible mental load she was carrying that had nothing to do with him, from tracking whether he'd eaten lunch to rushing home from the gym by 6pm so she'd be available when he logged off… In January, she decided to stop cold turkey. She and Ali get into the concrete before-and-afters, the shame high-achieving women carry about doing this at all, the backlash she got from both men and women online, and what actually changed after six months: her anxiety plummeted, the resentment lifted. And as she backed off, her husband leaned in, leaving space for both of them to be full people.

In Updates, it was a stressful week. Logan started peeing outside the litter box, which sent Ali & Skyline into a worried-cat-parent spiral and a round of vet tests. Good news, nothing medically wrong, just an angsty boy who takes after his mama. But it did bring up some memories of how her cats factored into past relationships and what she may be bringing forward from that. She also reflects on adult friendship after a dinner with two other couples, and the quiet pride of realizing she'd met every person at that table in the last two years.

This week's Media Mention, alongside Sam's TikTok, is a Psychology Today piece by Dr. Michele Leno, "How to Decenter Men and Still Date," on dating from clarity instead of fear. Found here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mind-matters/202602/how-to-decenter-men-and-still-date

Where to find Sam: On Instagram@sammyshowalter, and on TikTok@thesam_show.

Timestamps: Sam joins us at around minute 24.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We're continuing the multi-part moving-in series inspired by listener questions. In part two, Ali gets into the stuff you can't put in a spreadsheet: sharing a space with another person, protecting alone time when you live together, merging two homes' worth of stuff, and picking your battles (except of course when it comes to toilet paper direction). 

She reflects on what nine months of living with her partner actually taught her, why needing solo time is maintenance for a relationship rather than a rejection of it, and how two people can look at the same room and honestly not see the same mess.

And if you want an even deeper dive, this week's AMA on the Patreon answers a listener whose partner pushed back on having the pre-move "ground rules" conversation, and the cohabitation bonus storytimes are up there too, at Patreon.com/findingmrheight.

This week there are two Media Mentions: HuffPost's "Why Some Happy Couples Choose To Sleep In Separate Bedrooms" by Kelsey Borresen, on why protecting each person's space and sleep can protect the relationship, and Psychology Today's "When Partners Have Different Levels of Cleanliness" by Marisa T. Cohen, PhD, on why clashing standards of clean are two different thresholds, not a character flaw.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re talking all about moving in with a partner in this multi-part series I inspired by listener questions. In part one, Ali breaks down the practical side of moving in with a partner: splitting expenses, navigating one partner moving into the other’s home, divvying up housework, and more. She reflects back on the episode recorded with Skyline before he moved in, and what’s changed (or hasn’t) since: how they landed on an expense split, the expense-tagging system they built instead of a joint account, and a framework for tackling chores and the mental load by sorting every household task as “required” versus “desired” and assigning clear ownership.

In Updates, Ali shares that she’s documenting a new therapy journey on the Patreon, and reflects on being offline over the holiday weekend following a death in the family. Speaking of the Patreon, you can hear the cohabitation bonus episodes mentioned there at Patreon.com/findingmrheight!

This week’s Media Mention is: Fair Play by Eve Rodsky, the book that gives language to the invisible, unequally split labor of running a home.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Esin Pinarli, a psychotherapist with 18 years of experience, joins Ali to talk about people-pleasing, attachment, and what she calls modern codependency. Esin breaks down the unspoken childhood contracts we sign without realizing it, and how codependency shows up today in high-achieving, self-sufficient women who would never picture themselves as the "lost yourself in a relationship" type. The conversation also includes a refresher on the four attachment styles and the wheel of attachment, the anxious-avoidant dance, deactivating strategies, and how you actually earn your security over time through small, repeated choices.

In Updates, Ali survives a brutal New York heat wave and starts a new running list with Skyline: bars that have way better food than they deserve to have, kicking things off with Abe's Pagoda in Bushwick.

This week's Media Mention is creator Sam Showalter (@thesam_show on TikTok), whose series on decentering her husband tied in perfectly to the conversation about modern codependency.

Sam’s video Ali mentions

Where to find Esin: On Instagram@esinpinarli_lcswand atwww.eternalwellnesscounseling.com.

Timestamps: Esin joins us at around minute 17.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Alex Wolf, the founder behind the original Boss Babe movement turned tech philosopher, joins Ali to explore what the attention economy is quietly doing to our ability to connect with each other, including romantically. The conversation covers why "just delete the app" misses the point entirely, why the speed of technology adoption is the real problem, and how dating apps have the same design problem as social media: they weren't built to facilitate actual connection. The two also chat about dead internet theory, what cobras have to do with your match count, and why it seems increasingly impossible to go back to anything analogue.

This week's Media Mention is "What Is the Dead Internet Theory?" from Built In, exploring how bots and AI-generated content now make up the majority of internet activity and what that means for the way we connect with each other online, including on dating apps.

Dead Internet Theory link

Where to find Alex: On Instagram@alexwolf, on TikTok@alexwolftiktok, and on Substack atwww.alexwolf.substack.com.

Timestamps: Alex joins us at around minute 15.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali answers five listener questions that all share a common thread: the gap between wanting something and being able to follow through. A first-time manager grappling with imposter syndrome, a single mom navigating kid disclosure on the apps, someone processing timeline anxiety after leaving a relationship, a dater hitting a wall with the performance exhaustion of first dates, and someone three weeks deep in a texting situation who can't figure out how to suggest meeting up.

Patreon episode on being a good manager

In Updates, Ali shares a recent impromptu date night that encapsulated what she loves about NYC - and then got reinforced at a Jimmy Eat World with an epic city background. Plus, a girls weekend is in full effect and ring shopping has come to a close!

This week's Media Mention is: "Survey Data Show We're Now in a Dating Recession" from Psychology Today, by Dr. Theresa DiDonato, which found that most young adults want relationships but aren't dating, citing low confidence, app disillusionment, and fear of rejection as the biggest barriers.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week, Ali is joined by Sarah, a listener who reached out to share her journey with desire and intimacy. Sarah opens up about how her health anxiety quietly muted her desire for sex until she sought out a specialized sex therapist, and how that work helped her reframe arousal, communicate with her husband, and rebuild a sex life that works for both of them. They also touch on practical tools that helped Sarah in her work, including the book “Women on Top” by Nancy Friday and try the Unbound Intimacy Deck for cards like Sarah describes.

This week's Media Mentions are two podcast episodes. The first is from The Sexology Lab, where Dr. Laurie Mintz and Dr. Suzette Johnson discuss how SSRIs and SNRIs can impact arousal, desire, and orgasm. The second is from Doing It Together, hosted by Janna Denton-Howes, where she and her husband talk through how anxiety shows up differently for each of them in their sex life.

In Updates, Ali talks about a solo dinner out, the Knicks' playoff run, a 100-degree park-hopping day that ended at a concert aimed at her teenage heart, and a quiet weekend ahead with Skyline at Bonnaroo.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Losers Part 1 & 2: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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TW: This episode contains a brief discussion of cancer and loss. If you want to skip it, the guest segment begins at approximately minute 13.

Brooke Janousek, founder of Someone You Should Meet, joins Ali to make the case for letting the people who know you best do the talking. Brooke and Ali dig into why apps fail to capture who people actually are, the courage gap between professional and personal life, and what inspired Brooke to start hosting in-person dating events (hint: it was attending a lackluster one herself). The two also chat about what it’s like to finally walk away from a situationship that isn’t working, and how that comes back to the frustrations of dating overall.

But first, Ali shares how a personal health scare had her reflecting on how losing her dad to cancer impacts her relationship with her health today (particularly as it was happening on his birthday). This week's Media Mention is: "The Terror of Survivorship" from Laura Behnke's Substack, which dives into that very theme.

Where to find Brooke: On Instagram@someoneyoushouldmeet, on TikTok@sysmofficial, atwww.someoneyoushouldmeet.com.

Timestamps: Brooke joins us at around minute 13.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

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You're being interviewed, but you're also doing the interviewing. Most people forget the second part. Ali shares two episodes from the Finding Mr. Height Patreon in this special re-air, covering the interview process from both sides of the table. Part one is a practical guide to vetting a company before you accept an offer: how to use Glassdoor beyond the surface level, what LinkedIn can tell you about turnover patterns, how to interview your interviewer, and more. Part two covers your side of the table: how to tell a coherent, compelling story about your career, how to answer questions with real specificity instead of canned talking points, and why the questions you ask can say just as much about you as the answers you give.

Part three of this series is available now on the Patreon at patreon.com/findingmrheight, along with AMAs, monthly live episodes, the Discord community, and more bonus content every week. This week's Media Mention is: "What's Your Interviewing Style?" from HBR IdeaCast (Harvard Business Review), featuring author and former corporate recruiter Anna Papalia.

Media Mention link: Harvard Business Review What's Your Interviewing Style?

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

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This week, Ali sits down with Sarah Vacchiano, author of Soft Launch, who got married at 21, divorced at 27, and moved to New York City to start over from scratch. Sarah shares what it felt like to leave a marriage that looked fine on the outside, how she navigated a world she’d skipped the entry points to, and what it took to finally build an identity that was genuinely hers. She remarried at 37, and the conversation gets into what was fundamentally different about love on the other side of all that work.

This week’s Media Mention is Bumble’s announcement that they are scrapping the swipe and dropping the women-message-first rule. CEO Whitney Wolfe Herd calls what’s coming “revolutionary” but has yet to say exactly what it is (though Ali has a guess).

Where to find Sarah: On Instagram@sarahmvacchiano and atwww.sarahvacchiano.com.

Grab Sarah's Book "Soft Launch" here:https://www.sarahvacchiano.com/

Timestamps: Sarah joins us at around minute 13.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

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TW: This episode includes discussion of grief, miscarriage and emotional abuse.

This week, Ali is joined by a listener who shares her story of leaving a marriage rooted in cultural pressure, low self-worth, and years of emotional abuse. The conversation covers the internal voice she ignored while engaged, the compounding grief that finally pushed her out the door, and what it's looked like to rebuild on the other side.

This week's Media Mention is a video by @zkiaba on TikTok, where she pushes back on the idea that men are in a social crisis, arguing that what we're seeing is the first generation of men experiencing life without systematic advantage.

In Updates, Ali is recording live from Greece on her ninth group girls trip with FMH Travel.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

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Ali and Skyline are celebrating two years together! Together from Italy, they go deep on what two years actually looks like, covering how they handle disagreements, how intentional they've been about the relationship and whether that was by design or just who they are, what they've each learned about themselves through the relationship, and what surprised them most about each other along the way. Plus, listeners ask about their couple identity, the little habits that make each other smile, where things are headed next, and which annoying habits irk each other the most. But first, the two recap highlights and a few hiccups from their trip to Italy, sadly coming to an end!

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

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Danielle McGeough joins Ali to talk about what happens after you hit the goal you've been chasing your whole career and realize it doesn't feel the way you thought it would (and how this relates to dating!). Danielle, a professor and creator of the RISE Ritual Method, unpacks the difference between burnout and demoralization, why habits alone won't get you out of a hollow season, and how to design rituals that actually move you from where you are to where you want to be.

In Updates, Ali and Skyline are officially in Europe, one night into a trip to Italy where they'll also be recording their two-year anniversary episode. Listener questions for that episode are still open!

This week’s Media Mention is: Something Different DC, an Instagram account running creative events in Washington, D.C. It’s a great reminder that meeting people off the apps is possible in unusual places!

Where to find Danielle: On Instagram @plangoalplan and at www.plangoalplan.com.

Take Danielle's "Stuck" assessment here: https://www.plangoalplan.com/stuck

Timestamps: Danielle joins us at around minute 9.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

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Jordanne Sculler, licensed therapist, joins Ali to talk about dating burnout from the inside out. Rather than pointing to apps or circumstances as the culprit, Jordanne breaks down the internal patterns that are really driving exhaustion in dating, including the productivity trap of treating dating like a to-do list, people-pleasing and self-abandonment, and what it actually looks like to break a cycle that isn't working. The conversation gets practical with Jordanne's "do something different" framework, and Ali shares her own experience recognizing these patterns in both dating and long-term relationships.

In Updates, Ali shares a scam alert after coming dangerously close to being scammed in a two-part scheme. She also recaps a big week of consulting wins, a full-circle alumni event at her school's centennial celebration, and a return to the bar where she met Skyline two years ago.

This week's Media Mention is @blussomly on TikTok and Instagram. Her name is Luise, she has a master's in psychology, and her content is built around teaching the psychology behind stoicism in an accessible, applicable way. Her series "stoicism but make it cute" is worth a full deep dive, and the video Ali references, about the gap between expectation and reality and the difference between something being different versus wrong, is pinned to her Instagram.

Where to find Jordanne: On Instagram @jordannesculler and at www.jordannescullerlmhc.com.

Timestamps: Jordanne joins us at around minute 20.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .

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Marriage coach Monica Tanner joins Ali to challenge the unwritten rulebook most of us absorbed about relationships without ever questioning it. Monica, the author of Bad Marriage Advice, breaks down why a lot of the advice well-meaning people pass down is not just unhelpful but actively working against us. The conversation covers why "never go to bed angry" is a recipe for sleep deprivation, what it actually means to teach your partner how to treat you, and why compromise is not always the goal. Ali also shares her own examples from her relationship with Skyline.

In Updates, Ali reflects on her ongoing curly hair journey and an unexpected emotional realization it triggered, shares a story about a college situationship she had completely forgotten about, and celebrates two years with Skyline, including a special anniversary dinner.

This week's Media Mention is "4 Styles of Cleaners" by Amanda Dodson (@nestingyourlife on TikTok), a framework for understanding where you and your partner fall on the tidy/cluttered and sanitized/natural spectrums, and why it matters more than you think for cohabitation.

Where to find Monica: On Instagram@monitalksmarriageand atwww.monicatanner.com.

Grab Monica's book "Bad Marriage Advice: ​Debunking Myths That Will Make You Miserable and What To Do Instead" here: https://www.badmarriageadvice.com/get-the-book

Timestamps: Monica joins us at around minute 29.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else, as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more, join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

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Amy Chan returns to the pod for an in-person recording with Ali, a conversation spurned from her own deep attachment work. The two chat about Amy’s new book Unsingle, where she leverages her personal experiences to help you identify your recurring patterns in relationships. The two get into why you keep choosing the same person in a different body (and how to actually change that), the mechanics of dating from first swipe to long-term commitment, and what healthy interdependence looks like.

In Updates, Ali shares a packed couple of weeks including a Broadway show, an intentionally unplanned weekend with Skyline, and a healing curly hair journey that’s going swimmingly.

This week's Media Mention is: "Portfolio Careers Are Meant for Generalists" from On Work by Shaina Anderson (Substack), shared by past guest Miriam Tinney on Instagram.

Where to find Amy: On Instagram @missamychan, on TikTok @missamychan, at www.missamychan.com.

Pre-Order Amy's book "Unsingle How to Date Smarter and Create Love That Lasts" Here: https://missamychan.com/unsingle/

Timestamps: Amy joins us at around minute 24.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .

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This week, Ali sits down with Julia, a listener who shares her experience discovering that vaginal sex just doesn't work for her body. She walks through how that shaped her early dating experiences, including a two-and-a-half year situationship, and what it was like to tell her current partner. They get into why penetration isn't the gold standard of sex, how societal expectations create feelings of unworthiness, and what it looks like to build a full and satisfying sex life on your own terms.

In Updates, Ali shares about her birthday week, including her first dry curly cut, a birthday party, and her mom being in town for all of it.

This week's Media Mention is allll about the Summer House drama that’s unfolded over the last week, and specifically the racial dimension of the situation and what it reflects about the experience of dating as a Black woman.

Vote on our 2027 FMH Travel destinations at https://tinyurl.com/fmh2027trips

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .

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Relationship coach and author Meg Tuohey joins Ali to introduce her concept of the HeartPrint, the idea that each of us is as unique as our fingerprints in how we move through the world and relate to others. Meg breaks down why frameworks like attachment styles and love languages, while helpful, can only take us so far, and how real self-knowledge requires a deeper, more individualized kind of attunement. The conversation covers why we're drawn to familiar patterns in dating even when they don't serve us, what it actually looks like to move from awareness to change, and how the walls we've built to protect ourselves can be honored without letting them define our future.

In Updates, Ali reflects on a birthday week that started with grief and ended with omakase, and shares what she's been sitting with as she turns 39.

This week's Media Mention is The Love Drive podcast, hosted by friend of the pod Shaun Galanos, specifically his March 17th solo episode, "When Shit Hits the Fan." Trigger warning: Ali shares a personal experience with sexual assault at 49:00 - 55:00.

Where to find Meg: On Instagram @megtuoheyofficial, on TikTok @megtuoheyofficial, at www.megantuohey.com and on her podcast Wisdom Stripes.

Grab Meg's book "HeartPrint: Unlock the Wisdom of You Here: https://megantuohey.com/megan-book-heart-print/

Timestamps: Meg joins us at around minute 14.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

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Returning guest and Ali’s good friend Darcy is back on the pod, and they’re diving straight into the New York Times' crowdsourced list of 35 dating rules. Some of them? Genuinely solid. Some of them? Completely unhinged. And several of them directly contradict each other, which is so indicative of modern dating. Topics include how people treat servers, outsourcing your nervous system to a partner, paying on dates, the pacing of physical intimacy, whether you actually need to like someone's friends, and a $75 first-date filet mignon story.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

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Ali sits down with Ilana Dunn, host of Seeing Other People, for a conversation about the dating advice they both either ignored in the past or wish they’d taken sooner. They dig into the patterns that kept them stuck longer than necessary: from ignoring gut feelings and making excuses for bad behavior, to chasing potential over reality and performing chill they never actually felt. Listener submissions are woven throughout, and the conversation gets personal fast: secret relationships, toxic situationships, unreliable narrators, and the moment things finally felt different with the right person.

In Updates, Ali reflects on a last-minute girls trip to Miami and shares a media mention - "The Friend Group Fallacy" from The Atlantic - written for anyone who has ever felt left out for not having a tight-knit crew of adult friends.

Article linked here

Where to find Ilana: On Instagram@seeingotherpeople, on TikTok@ilana.dunn, and on her podcastSeeing Other People.

Timestamps: Ilana joins us at around minute 24.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

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We’ve got some amazing listener questions this week, and the thread running through all of them is a concept introduced in this week's Media Mention: high involvement, low attachment, inspired by a TikTok from @mother.of.a.dilemma.

From there, she answers three listener questions: one from a man who freezes before sending a first message, one from a woman who only swipes right when she already knows what to say, and one from a listener who is spiraling after learning a recent date is now dating someone who looks like his ex. Ali also tackles a question from a listener in therapy who can see her people-pleasing patterns clearly but can't stop them in the moment yet.

In Updates, Ali recaps the FMH five-year anniversary party (including some unexpected social anxiety), a secret date night at Chateau Royale and underground jazz club Smalls, and a truly small-world moment at a couples happy hour.

Media Mention: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8QcdfWg/

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

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TW: This episode includes discussion of grief, loss, and suicide. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out. You can call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline — they're available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and it's free and confidential.

This week, Ali is joined by a listener who opens up about grieving the loss of a partner and navigating life (and dating) while healing from deep trauma. She shares what helped her through the hardest years, how healing unfolded in non-linear ways, and what it’s been like to build a full life on the other side of grief. They explore what it really means to seek connection while carrying grief, the tension between moving forward and honoring loss, and how dating can feel especially complicated after partner loss.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

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Matchmaker Jackie Dorman joins Ali to break down the latest season of Love Is Blind through the lens of someone who has helped over 1,600 people get engaged or married. They dig into why the pod format rewards anxious attachment, what emotional over-functioning really looks like on screen, and how to tell the difference between genuine chemistry and chaos. Plus, couple-by-couple predictions on who actually makes it to the altar!

In Updates, Ali had some very exciting shopping adventures with Skyline plus a fun triple date. And, we hear from Katy & Tony for one last Dating Diaries update with some serendipitous timing.

This week’s Media Mention (aside from Love is Blind!) is a Youtube video on Patriarchal Bargaining by the Gender Equality Network, found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C82QxH4hWwM&t=19s

Where to find Jackie: On Instagram @jackiedormanofficial, on TikTok @jackiedormanofficial, at www.jackiedorman.com.

Pre-Order Jackie's book "Modern Dating Sucks: A Matchmaker's Guide to Finding Love in a Swipe-Left World" here: https://jackiedorman.com/mdsbook

Timestamps: Jackie joins us at around minute 27.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .

Thanks to this week’s partners:

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Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

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Dr. Paula Freedman-Diamond joins Ali to discuss people-pleasing and how it relates to control in dating and relationships. Paula, a therapist and author of Toxic Striving, breaks down how people-pleasing and rigid boundary-setting are two sides of the same coin: both are attempts to control outcomes and avoid uncomfortable feelings. The conversation explores how to identify when you're prioritizing external validation over your own values and what the middle ground looks like between being overly accommodating and overly rigid. Paula also shares insights on acceptance and commitment therapy, learning to hold your desires lightly while staying grounded in your values.

In Updates, Ali shares a vulnerable conversation that originally aired on the Patreon about societal expectations around women's appearance.

This week's Media Mention is: "The New Rules of Dating for Ambitious Women" from the Ambition 2.0 podcast (by Girlboss), featuring breakup expert and friend of the pod Amy Chan.

Where to find Dr. Paula: On Instagram@mindfuldrpaula, on TikTok@mindfuldrpaula, atwww.paulafreedmandiamond.comandwww.humankindpsych.com.

Grab Dr. Paula's Book "Toxic Striving"here: www.paulafreedmandiamond.com

Timestamps: Dr. Paula joins us at around minute 33.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

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Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

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Ali is back with another Hot Topics episode, starting with listener updates and reflections sparked by a recent listener storytime and a past Hot Topics question. She then dives into your submitted questions, covering losing interest once the chase ends, making sense of mixed signals when someone’s words and actions don’t align, receiving vague “executive presence” feedback at work, and navigating early dating when planning and consistency feel off.

In Updates, she is back from Mexico City and recapping her trip - including some brutal PMS symptoms that she’s still digging into and a very exciting plan made on the plane ride home.

This week’s Media Mention is about letting your partner “fail” vs carrying the mental load and how to handle small misses without building resentment. The TikTok we discuss is on Tiktok, from @thisisapaigeturner here: https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8HGQsxu/

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

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This week, Ali hosts Anna Lecat for a conversation that reframes conflict as a powerful tool for connection rather than something to avoid. Together, the two unpack why so many of us fear uncomfortable conversations (especially in dating) and how that fear can quietly sabotage intimacy.

Throughout the episode, they’re exploring how to recognize meaningful early dating conflicts, communicate needs without blowing things up, and tell the difference between discomfort that leads to growth and misalignment that won’t work long-term. If you’ve ever worried that bringing something up might “ruin” a connection, this episode offers practical, grounding ways to approach conflict with more confidence, presence, and care.

In Updates, Ali chats about the recent NYC snowstorm, a fun concert outing with friends (plus a successful concert presale for later this year!), plus looks forward to a trip to Mexico City with Skyline this week. She also updates on podcast planning for this year and how she’s thinking about various segments as the pod evolves.

This week’s Media Mention is the podcast Good Hang with Amy Poehler, especially her January 20th episode with Jennifer Lawrence.

We’re celebrating five years of the pod next month!! Join Ali on Saturday, February 28th, 8pm at The Folly NYC. RSVP at https://tinyurl.com/fmh5years for free entry and access to Ali’s first come-first serve bar tab. And Patrons - check out the Patreon for early entry info! Can’t wait to see you there.

Where to find Anna: On Instagram @anna_lecat, on TikTok @anna.lecat, at www.annalecat.com.

Grab Anna's Book: "Loving Conflict: Creating Collaboration Where Others See Division" Here.

Timestamps: Anna joins us at around minute 28.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

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This week, Ali sits down with veteran matchmaker April Beyer (who has 25+ years in the industry!) to unpack why dating feels harder than ever and how to make it more human again. They talk about letting go of attachment to outcomes, loosening rigid “criteria,” and why going on more dates can actually lead to love faster than waiting for the perfect match.

April breaks down her idea of “relatability” as the real driver of chemistry, and shares practical ways to create connection on a first date without overperforming. Plus, tips for avoiding burnout and showing up as your full self from the very beginning.

In Updates, Ali is coming off of January’s surprise date night, which was also Skyline’s birthday! She also chats about an upcoming vacation plus an exciting shopping trip in the near future.

We’re celebrating five years of the pod next month!! Join Ali on Saturday, February 28th, 8pm at The Folly NYC. RSVP at https://tinyurl.com/fmh5years for free entry and access to Ali’s first come-first serve bar tab. And Patrons - check out the Patreon for early entry info! Can’t wait to see you there.

Where to find April: On Instagram @levelconnections and at www.levelconnections.com.

Timestamps: April joins us at around minute 23.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali sits down with FMH listener Allison for a storytime episode all about building a relationship that works for you, even if it breaks societal norms. Allison shares what it was like feeling like a late bloomer as she navigated finding her now-partner in her late 30’s. From dating a divorced dad with two kids to navigating mismatched timelines around moving in, engagement, and merging lives, Allison walks through how they used curiosity, therapy, and a lot of real conversations to get on the same page without defaulting to what relationships are “supposed” to look like.

It’s a refreshing reminder that commitment can be real, secure, and deeply intentional even when your relationship doesn’t look traditional.

In Updates, we’re celebrating five years of the pod next month!! Join Ali on Saturday, February 28th, 8pm at The Folly NYC. RSVP at https://tinyurl.com/fmh5years for free entry and access to Ali’s first come-first serve bar tab. And Patrons - check out the Patreon for early entry info! Can’t wait to see you there.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Did you ever think that improv could apply to dating? Repeat guest Miriam Katz is back this week, a fun, hands-on conversation about how to feel lighter, more confident, and more authentic on dates…using improv! They talk about tone and enthusiasm, how to practice presence in low-pressure everyday moments, and why “being good” is not the goal if you’re trying to connect like a real human. Ali flips the usual script and lets Miriam run a few playful prompts to demonstrate how loosening up and staying curious can pull you out of performance mode and into actual connection - especially when nerves start to spike. This interactive episode features tools you can use before dates, interviews, and any situation that triggers self-consciousness. And ps: FMH The Pod is now on Youtube so you can see these exercises in action!

But first, we hear from Tony and Katy in Dating Diaries as Tony navigates an energy shift with someone new and Katie shares a promising update ahead of a fourth (!) date.

Where to find Miriam: On Instagram @theexappealpodcast, on TikTok @exappeal, at www.miriamkatz.com.

Timestamps: Miriam joins us at around minute 22.

Ask questions, make a Storytime submission, or give feedback here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhpodqs

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as exclusive episodes every week, ad-free listening, monthly lives, and more…join FMH on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight .

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this New Year episode, Ali shares her word for the year, foundation, and the theme guiding how she’s setting up the year ahead: less chaos, more intention.

She explains her process for reflecting on the past year and talks through the unglamorous but powerful changes she’s focusing on in her daily life, including routines, work structure, habits, and health.

Ali also answers listener questions about building routines without burning out, staying consistent when motivation fades, and how to pursue stability without slipping into stagnation.

At the end, she teases last week’s Patreon episode with Skyline, where they talk about building a future intentionally and a big event coming this year.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else extra content every week, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast



Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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In this episode, Ali is joined by Skyline for a continuation of last week’s year in review episode, this time focused on their relationship. Using a framework from her friend Talia, host of the Dating Intentionally podcast, they reflect on the past year as a couple. It’s an honest, conversational look at what stood out, what worked, what surprised them, and what the year actually felt like when you zoom out and look at it together.

They talk through big-picture moments, favorite memories, travel, routines, energy, and what quality time really means in day-to-day life, before looking ahead to the year to come. Plus, a little recap on life at home with Mama J and a preview of deeper conversations on the Patreon.

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 4.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this solo Year in Review episode, Ali shares an honest recap of 2025, including the wins, the messy parts, and why this year felt more like a quiet level-setting season than a highlight reel. She reflects on how Finding Mr. Height has evolved, what surprised her about self-employment, and what it looked like to grow “offline” while seeing online growth around her.

Ali also gets real about the hardest parts of 2025, from building confidence around consulting to navigating self-doubt and struggles. She closes with the biggest personal lessons from the year, how her perspective on partnership and routines has changed, and the intentions she’s calling in for 2026, plus a takeaway for anyone feeling behind heading into the new year.

In Updates, Ali reflects on her trip to Costa Rica plus a wild 48 hours of travel. Plus, we hear from Katy & Tony! From mismatched energy to reflecting on how communication styles can stall momentum and signal it’s time to walk away. The conversation ends on a hopeful note with new post-holiday dates, clearer standards, and reminders that feeling safe, seen, and energized matters more than chasing inconsistent effort.

Timestamps:

Katy & Tony's updates begin at around minute 18.

Topic talk begins at around minute 44.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is joined by her mom (aka Mama J) from their girls trip to Costa Rica for a real, funny, and super practical convo about holiday logistics when you’re dating someone. They start with trip updates (a crab in the hallway, a fully gluten-free resort, and the upcoming “48-hour travel day + cats” marathon), then dive into what listeners said in IG polls about where they’re spending the holidays, when people talk about plans, and what stresses everyone out most.

Ali and Mama J unpack how holiday decisions actually get made, why spending holidays apart isn’t automatically a red flag, and how to communicate with your partner and your family without resentment. They talk about merging traditions, the difference between “the actual day” vs “the feeling,” and why being in your partner’s family space can feel like performing. Plus: a legendary Akavit story, Norwegian Christmas customs, and the surprisingly emotional power of something as small as a stocking with your name on it.

P.S. The two Costa Rica hotels are Occidental Papagayo and Hotel Hacienda Guachipelin

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 13.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Content note for this episode: we talk in detail about menopause, infertility and IVF, chronic pain, medical dismissal, and depression.

This week, Ali is joined by longtime listener Sara, who shares a powerful Storytime about discovering she was essentially in menopause at 36. After years of symptoms like debilitating periods, anxiety, depression, fatigue, Sara finally got answers when fertility testing revealed primary ovarian insufficiency likely caused by endometriosis.

Sara walks us through her journey from “something feels off” to tracking her cycle, being dismissed by multiple providers, finally landing in a fertility clinic where she uncovered what had been happening to her body all along. She opens up about the emotional toll of IVF with very low ovarian reserve, moving to egg donor, navigating failed transfers, and what it has meant for her identity, her mental health, and her marriage.

In Updates, Ali is back in NYC and reflecting on relational skills she’s grown while in a relationship with Skyline.

Where to find Sara: On Instagram @blankplatepod, on TikTok @blankplatepod, at www.blankplatepodcast.com.

Timestamps: Sara joins us at around minute 22.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

His Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.

Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Katy & Tony are back this week to share their updates from the dating trenches. First, Tony tells us about the guy he’s surprisingly started dating long distance - we unpack mixed signals, hookup-to-date pivots, and how long distance might work better for him.

Then we chat with Katy, whose dating life is serving a completely different flavor of excitement. Think: texting energy, red flags, self-check moments, friends meeting your date, and more. Plus, we send a follow-up text live on the mic!

In Updates, I’m reflecting on my first holiday spent with Skyline’s family (and the first spent away from mine in 20 years).

Timestamps: Katy & Tony joins us at around minute 21.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.com

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

His Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.

Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

This week, Ali welcomes the brilliant and endlessly curious Miriam Tinberg, a content creator who describes herself (rightly so!) as a conversation starter. If you like discussions that make you say, “wait, I’ve never thought about it like that,” you’re in the right place. We dive into unspoken rules, etiquette, communication patterns, and the gray space we all actually live in - not just in dating & relationships, but in all of life!

The two also chat about this week’s Media Mention, “Good Conversations Have Lots of Doorknobs” by Adam Mastroianni: https://www.experimental-history.com/p/good-conversations-have-lots-of-doorknobs

In Updates, Ali is back from vacation, where she and Skyline relaxed, reset, dealt with a surprise back injury, and started dreaming up future trips. They also tackled some big home and routine changes now that he’s back in an office five days a week.

Where to find Miriam: On Instagram@miriam_tinny, onSubstack.

Timestamps: Miriam joins us at around minute 22.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.com

His Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.

Dawn of Chaos and Fury: Check out Kensington Publishing: https://www.kensingtonbooks.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode, Ali sits down with somatic sex coach and author Rachel Overvoll for an honest, expansive conversation about divorce, desire, and learning to feel safe in your own body. The two talk about the shifting stigma around divorce, why “it might end” is not a reason to avoid marriage, and how women are often conditioned to over-function in relationships until they burn out.

Rachel also breaks down what it means to be relational in partnership, how to tell the difference between fighting for your relationship and staying out of obligation, and practical ways to work through resentment when a partner is finally stepping up.

Then we get into sex and embodiment, including how to recognize performative sex, why pressure kills pleasure, and simple somatic tools you can use to get out of your head during intimacy.

In Updates, Ali is on vacation in Mexico and using that time to chat shifting domestic roles with Skyline.

Where to find Rachel: On Instagram@rachelovervolland atwww.modernintimacy.com.

Timestamps: Rachel joins us at around minute 11.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.com

His Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is solo this week answering questions submitted by you, the listeners! Our question round up includes: navigating comfort vs spark chasing in a new relationship, starting to date when you’re still getting over your ex, how Skyline and I establish de-escalating tactics in every day life, finding a partner who appreciates your independence, and more.

In Updates, Ali had a wonderful time at the Red Door Community gala - plus we hear from Elyse!

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 25

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.com

His Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Therapist and creator of Detangling Divorce, Stacey Sherrell, joins Ali to talk about the role of self-trust in finding a strong partnership, her own path to divorce, and how couples can set themselves up for success long before a crisis. Topics also include: respect as a non-negotiable and how to spot corrosive conflict, the invisible mental load, when to start couples therapy, the questions to ask yourself before having kids, and talking money with your partner.

In Updates, Ali is recovering from food poisoning and reflecting on feeling safe to be triggered in a relationship (a very timely reflection with this week’s guest!).

Where to find Stacey: On Instagram @detanglingdivorce and at www.detanglingdivorce.com.

Timestamps: Stacey joins us at around minute 17.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

His Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.

Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Katy & Tony are back on the pod for a deep dive into their dating app profiles (plus a sneak peek at some upcoming updates). In this Dating Diaries episode, Ali reviews each of their profiles - Hinge for Katy, Tinder & Grindr for Tony - and the three come away with some great updates to make. From dimly lit photos to making bios sound like your unique voice…there’s a lot to cover! And the vibe between these two friends as they review each other’s profiles is amazing, too.

But first, Ali recaps her housewarming party with Skyline featuring a new kind bar, plus looks ahead to how division of household labor will need to change with Skyline’s shifting work schedule.

Timestamps: Katy & Tony join us at around minute 13.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

His Grace the Duke: On sale October 28th and available wherever books are sold.

Check out Uncommon Goods and use our code FMH for a great deal: www.uncommongoods.com

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you haven’t come across the Hot Chef saga on Threads…first of all, how?! Second of all, you’re truly missing out. But not to worry - this week, Ali sits down with the woman at the center of it all, Katherine Wela Bogen. We dive into this joy-filled, captivating, and refreshingly real modern-day romance from start to finish. After a string of disappointing dating experiences, Katherine shares how a trip to Paris — and one bold move into a restaurant kitchen — led her to where she is today. In this heartwarming episode, we’re unpacking how intuition, risk-taking, and a little romantic courage can change everything.

But first, in Updates, Ali is back from Japan and preparing for her housewarming with Skyline (with a few cranky moments along the way!). We’re also looking forward to upcoming pod topics and previewing a new guest!

Where to find Katherine: On Instagram@k.w.bogen, on Threads@k.w.bogen, and on TikTok@sexualityscholar.Pre-Order Katherine's book Queering Him here.

Timestamps: Katherine joins us at around minute 31.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is collaborating in the studio with Rory Uphold, host of the Crimes of the Heart podcast! The two set out to chat about their most and least favorite pieces of dating advice, but quickly realize that this conversation is the start of a new friendship. Topics range from who should pay on a first date to why dating is so hard right now to the specific difficulties women face in navigating today’s world. It’s their first time talking but certainly won’t be the last!

In Updates, Ali is coming to you live from Japan!! She chats a bit about the trip so far, what she’s enjoying most about the country (hint: it’s edible), how Skyline is faring with the cats at home, and more. Plus, she’s caught up on the first 6 episodes of Love Is Blind and can’t believe what she’s watching (no spoilers though).

Where to find Rory On Instagram @icouldbeblonder, on TikTok @roryuphold, the Crimes of the Heart Podcast and her book Dating is a Horror Show. Be the Final Girl. Use code HEIGHT15 to get 15% off your copy. 

Timestamps: Rory joins us at around minute 28.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s the final part of our three-part series on new relationships! Ali is joined by Talia Koren, host of the Dating Intentionally podcast, to dive into navigating each phase of your budding partnership with confidence. Check out part one (ep # 234.5) and part two (ep # 238.5) for tips on navigating the first three months and first six months.

In part three, Ali and Talia explore what reaching the one-year mark in a relationship looks like. Topics include: moving in together, starting engagement conversations, navigating career shifts and family introductions, and keeping the spark alive after a year. They also reflect on celebrating anniversaries, working through anxieties, and the key conversations that helped their relationships grow. Listener questions cover whether it’s too soon to talk marriage, how to handle changes in sex and intimacy, and what to do if you’re still unsure about long-term commitment. Overall, we’re chatting about reflection, growth, and alignment as couples enter a new stage together.

Want to watch the full video? You can find it at the Dating Intentionally YouTube page.

If you'd like bonus episodes every week and to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re meeting two new Dating Diaries participants this week…and they’re recording together! Real-life friends Katy & Tony introduce themselves to the pod and give us all some background as we look forward to following their dating journeys. From divorces to scarcity mindsets to pattern breaking…we hear it all (and they chime in on each other too).

But first, Ali is preparing to leave for Japan and racing to get as much done as possible in her new shared space with Skyline before she leaves. Plus, a quick update on focus groups!

This week’s Media Mention is from The Gottman Institute and titled "How to Maintain Individuality in Shared Spaces.”

Timestamps: Katy & Tony join us at around minute 22.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well exclusive bonus content every week, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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Did you know that perimenopause can start in your 30s and last up to 10 years?? Many people (your host included, until recently) do not and Mandi Dixon, LPC is here this week to talk about it. In her work as a therapist, she also focuses on navigating ADHD during this time of life and how those hormone swings can hit especially hard. Without us even realizing it! She sits down with Ali to break down why so many women are diagnosed with ADHD later in life, how estrogen impacts dopamine and executive function, and what all of this means for your relationships (plus much more!).

But first, in Updates, Ali reflects on a long weekend with her family (and Skyline) as they continue to organize their home and prepare for a housewarming. Plus, we hear from Elyse in a Dating Diaries update section!

Where to find Mandi: On Instagram @adhdmenopausetherapist, on TikTok @adhdmenopausetherapist, at www.mandidixonlpc.com.

Timestamps: Mandi joins us at around minute 41.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s a Hot Topics episode answering listener questions!! Ali is diving into three listener topics: navigating dating in small cities when friends match with the same people, reassessing long-term friendships as values and priorities evolve, and combatting feeling shallow on dating apps with a “no photos” experiment that prioritizes prompts and compatibility.

In Updates, we’re catching up on a week away with Skyline’s family and how meaningful moments strengthened the partnership. Plus, an exciting update on the Finding Mr. Height Patreon - productivity, budgeting, and organization content!

Timestamps: Hot Topics begins around minute 26.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or share feedback, head to www.findingmrheight.com/podcast.

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

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What happens when you interview every single person you’ve ever dated (or even kissed?!)? Miriam Katz joins Ali to talk about her bold new podcast The Ex Appeal, where she sits down with everyone from her fifth-grade crush to a rabbi, a stripper, and even a semi-famous ex. We get into the nerves, surprises, and emotional moments along the way while exploring the entire concept of closure. What is closure even and is it really all it’s cracked up to be?

In Updates, Ali is on vacation with Skyline’s family! She’ll be back next week with a full debrief on the week.

Where to find Miriam: On Instagram @theexappealpodcast, and on TikTok @exappeal. Listen to Miriam's podcast The Ex Appeal, launching September 21, 2025.

Timestamps: Miriam joins us at around minute 7.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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It’s part two of our three-part series on new relationships! Ali is joined by Talia Koren, host of the Dating Intentionally podcast, to dive into navigating each phase of your budding partnership with confidence. Check out part one (ep # 234.5) for tips on navigating the first three months.

In part two, Ali and Talia discuss the significant milestones and experiences that occur around the six-month mark in a relationship. Topics include: milestones like traveling together and experiencing first conflicts, understanding if someone is marriage material, the importance of relationship check-ins, discussing future plans/timelines, and handling family dynamics. It’s all about communication and alignment in relationships, providing listeners with insights and tips for fostering healthy connections while building trust and intimacy in building a future.

Want to watch the full video? You can find it at theDating Intentionally YouTube page.

If you'd like bonus episodes every week and to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

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In this raw and deeply honest episode, Ali speaks to listener Sarah as she shares her story of loving her children while still questioning whether she would make the same choice if she could go back in time. She opens up about the invisible labor of motherhood, not feeling fulfilled by it when all her friends seem to be, and what she wishes she’d thought about it before becoming a mom (while striving to be the best mom she can be). If you’re feeling how Sarah does - you’re not alone!

This week’s Media Mention is Rini Frey, @ownitbabe, on Instagram, who shares super vulnerably about the challenges of motherhood (and other parts of life!).

In Updates, Ali is one week into cohabitation and reflects on her first “Weekly Stand Up” (cue eye rolls) with Skyline. Plus, they’re prepping to go on vacation with each of their families, back to back!

Timestamps: Sarah joins us at around minute 19.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

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In this episode, Ali is joined by Sabrina Bendory - author, creator, and voice behind some of the internet’s most-shared advice on healing, self-worth, and emotional detachment. Together, we dive deep into what it really means to reclaim your power in dating and relationships. Highlights include: the turning point in Sabrina’s own (v relatable) story, why detachment isn’t cold or avoidant, and how to let go of someone who isn’t aligned.

In Updates, it’s move-in week!!! Ali shares how the day went moving Skyline into her condo and a bit about what’s to come.

Where to find Sabrina: On Instagram@sabrinabendory, on TikTok@sabrinabendory, atwww.sabrinabendory.com.

Pre-order Sabrina's bookDetached: How to Let Go, Heal, and Become Irresistible, available September 9th.

Timestamps: Sabrina joins us at around minute 23.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Are you burned out on dating apps? Or not even interested in swiping left and right on a bunch of strangers in the first place? The founders of the new Cerca dating app have been there, and this week Ali is taking you behind the scenes of building their app. Three members of the Cerca team - Myles Slayton, Carter Munk, and Campbell Arnone - sit down in Ali’s living room to talk about why Gen Z is shunning the apps, how apps can evolve to meet them where they’re at, and how they’re positioning Cerca to address all of this.

In Updates, it’s move-in week!!! Ali prepares for the big move and is feeling like everyone is talking about the topic. Including this week’s Media Mention from The Gottman Institute, titled “20 Essential Questions to Ask Before Moving In Together.”

Download Cerca in the Apple app store and check them out on IG @cercadating and on TikTok @cercaofficial.

Timestamps: The Cerca team joins Ali at around minute 25.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

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Ali is joined by Skyline this week on what is soon to be their shared couch! The move-in date is fast approaching, and they’ve both come with a list of things they’re thinking about as the day draws closer. From cleaning schedules to alone time to compromising on decor…they’re talking it through for you! Plus answering listener questions and sharing some of your best advice from past experiences.

But first, this week’s updates are all about Elyse! She kicked off her week with a failed Facetime date but then made it out onto a first date from an app! Hear whether there will be a second and also what’s going on with Coco Jones…

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 24.

If you'd like bonus episodes every week and to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

New relationships come with so much to navigate! In this three-part series, Ali is joined by Talia Koren, host of the Dating Intentionally podcast, to dive into navigating each phase of your budding partnership with confidence.

In part one, Talia and Ali discuss the complexities of the first three months of a relationship, and give advice while sharing insights from their own personal experiences. The two cover: common challenges with shifts in affection and communication, the need for calibration in how partners interact with each other, the transition from a single mindset to a couple's mentality, and more.

Want to watch the full video? You can find it at theDating Intentionally YouTube page.

If you'd like bonus episodes every week and to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We hear about the benefits of therapy SO often, but how does one even go about finding a therapist? There’s no how-to guide…until now! Ali chats with Nancy Walters, LICSW all about how she, as a therapist, recommends selecting one for yourself. She lovingly refers to her approach to therapy as Hot Mess Therapy: real, raw, intuitive, and deeply human. And is encouraging our listeners to find a real & raw therapist relationship for themselves, with actionable tips plus a step-by-step guide creating just for FMH. You can find that at https://tinyurl.com/fmh-therapist-guide.

Our Media Mention is S7 E31 of the Shrink Chicks podcast, “When Therapy Isn’t Working (Or So It Seems)”

This week’s Updates are all about our Dating Diary participant, Caeli! We hear about what she’s been up to since we last spoke as well as chat about the future of her segment and what she’s learned from sharing publicly.

Timestamps: Nancy joins us at around minute 23.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Sarah Intelligator runs her family law practice like she runs her yoga studio - with a holistic approach that looks to make people feel stronger leaving than they did entering. In this frank conversation, we get into what Sarah sees most in divorcing couples - and how she advises couples avoid it based on her experience. And prenups? You might be surprised by her opinion on them! But as always, it’s all about communication.

In Updates, Ali shares a special weekend away with Skyline in her one true happy place and reflects on how she feels inviting him into that space.

Where to find Sarah: On Instagram@sarah.a.intelligator.esq, and atwww.lafamilylawpractice.com.

Timestamps: Sarah joins us at around minute 22.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Last week on our Patreon live, Ali shared about navigating feedback - both constructive and otherwise - in such a public sphere. This week, she’s bringing that conversation to the main pod in the spirit of transparency, accountability, and vulnerability. She’s working on focusing on the constructive and appreciates those of you who have shared your thoughts so openly. If you’d like to contribute to the podcast feedback survey, you can do so here: https://tinyurl.com/fmhsurvey25. And if you’d like to join a focus group, please shoot Ali a note on IG!

Before Topic Talk, this week’s Media Mention is an episode of NPR Life Kit, “How To Make Decisions You Won’t Regret.” Ali also chats a bit about an upcoming trip!

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 25.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Are you struggling with the decision to have children or not? Or worried about making that decision in the future? Clarity coach Keltie Maguire is here to help! She and Ali chat about Keltie’s personal journey with the decision that led her to her current work, how societal pressures impact the choice, and how to have more grace with ourselves during indecision. Is there data on future regret on both sides of this choice? What if you never “just know” one day? What’s the best way to navigate this decision with a partner? These are just a few of the questions this episode gets into!

Before Keltie joins, Ali chats a bit about her own journey being undecided about kids and how her recent binge of Southern Charm’s early seasons brought this topic to the forefront of her mind.

Where to find Keltie: On Instagram@kidsorchildfree, on TikTok@kidsorchildfree, atwww.kidsorchildfree.com.

Timestamps: Keltie joins us at around minute 18.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!  

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Caeli & Elyse are back on the pod this week with updates for us and a whole lot of relatable discussion on dating burnout.

First, we hear from Elyse about a recent first date and how a string of those has left her feeling really dejected about dating apps. IRL dating, though? That’s feeling much better and she has an update (and a goal for herself) with Coco Jones!

Caeli has some huge personal news that’s leaving her with a couple months of down time before life really ramps up. Ali challenges her with a goal to bring some magic back into her dating life.

In Updates, Ali shares a story about a chaotic afternoon from Emmy’s adoption week and chats new benefits on the Patreon!

Timestamps: Caeli & Elyse join at around minute 20.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali went to one of the best shows she’s seen in a LONG time - Love Isn’t Blind, a comedy dating show where the men can’t speak - and she’s on the pod with the creator and host this week! Alli Goldberg created Love Isn’t Blind as an antidote to her own cynicism in dating and it’s truly taken off. Not only do we have Alli in the house - one of the suitors from the recent NYC show, Sascha Mombartz, is here too! The three chat dating IRL, the state of dating apps, cultural dating differences between the US and Europe, strategies for meeting more people offline, and more.

In Updates, Ali & Skyline are one week in with baby kitten Emmy and looking forward to introducing her to Rory & Logan. Ali also reflects more on one of last week’s AITA discussions plus ponders about the future of dating apps with the recent news of Bumble’s layoffs & Hinge’s partnership with Esther Perel.

If you’d like to apply to Love Isn’t Blind as a bachelor or bachelorette, visit loveisntblind.co where you can also grab tickets for an upcoming show in a city near you! Alli is also on Instagram @alli_goldi.

And ladies, Sascha is single! If you’re interested in chatting, you can reach out to him @supermombartz.

Timestamps: Alli & Sascha join Ali at around minute 30.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re bringing back Am I The Asshole discussion episodes, this time featuring Skyline going back and forth with Ali on 5 different AITA submissions! The submissions include: red flags in early dating app conversations, boundaries within a relationship, dealing with a friend’s partner whom you don’t like, losing a friend to their relationship, and navigating childcare disagreements.

But first, we’re chatting about our very eventful week - from getting caught in a thunderstorm on a lake during surprise date to adopting a kitten! And doing a name reveal…

Timestamps: AITA begins at around minute 15.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re talking about co-regulating this week: where two people help each other navigate their emotions. It’s a solo episode with Ali featuring a deep dive into her week away with Skyline that ended with a cancelation of the music festival they were at and a lot of stress surrounding the logistics. She shares a few stressful situations from the weekend, strategies that work for them when navigating conflicting opinions or tough situations, and a moment where she struggled to self-regulate herself. Plus, a listener sent in a question about how anxious attachment might tie into craving structure in relationships, and it’s super relevant to this discussion.

This week’s Media Mention is an article from Psychology Today titled, “The Secret to Resolving Relationship Conflict: Co-Regulating.” It goes into an example from a couples therapist about co-regulating and shifting perspective to prioritizing each other’s needs vs just your own.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Our two Diary Daters are officially meeting for the first time! In this week’s Dating Diaries episode, Ali brings Caeli & Elyse together to share updates plus swipe together on each of their dating apps. The three discuss how each dater approaches swiping and some best practices to address patterns they’re discovering. Plus, we chat dealbreakers, initial messages, first impressions, and more. And we end up with one potential match for each dater!

In Updates, Ali is meeting Skyline’s family for the first time at his aunt and uncle’s in the South. She reflects on family meetings past and how this feels compared to those. Plus looks forward to leaving for Bonaroo!

This week’s Media Mention is from The Atlantic and titled, “Dear James: I Miss Being On Dating Apps.” You can read it here: https://www.theatlantic.com/culture/archive/2025/03/dear-james-dating-app-fomo/682071/

Timestamps: Caeli & Elyse join around minute 25.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

TW: Grief/Death discussion from around minute 4 to 16.

Have you heard of Human Design, a framework that can help you navigate your unique, innate way of operating in the world? After this week’s conversation with Erin Claire Jones, you’re going to want to look it up ASAP. Ali first learned about Human Design years ago, but it’s only recently that she’s been realizing how much she can apply it in her every day life. Jone’s book, “How Do You Choose?” is the perfect place for anyone to start - it spans romantic relationships, work style, friendships, self care and so much more. Tune into their conversation this week for a sneak peek into how you yourself can apply Human Design to your relationships and discover a more aligned way of moving through the world.

Plus, visit humandesignblueprint.com to look up your Human Design and you can use code FMH for a discount on a detailed guide to your chart at https://humandesignblueprint.com/guide or a discount on studying human design at https://humandesignblueprint.com/product/course/

In Updates, Ali has an emotional moment reflecting on her dad’s birthday and how her recent mental health struggles remind her of how she was feeling when he passed.

This week’s Media Mention is the May 28th episode of Victoria Garrick Browne’s (@victoriagarrickbrowne on IG) podcast, Real Pod. It’s titled, “28th Birthday Reflections: Healing My Hustle Era, Ditching People Pleasing, & Learning to Trust Myself Again.”

Where to find Erin Claire Jones: On Instagram @erinclairejones and @humandesignblueprint, at www.humandesignblueprint.com.

You can find Erin's Book "How Do You Choose?" here: https://humandesignblueprint.com/order-book/

Timestamps: Erin joins us at around minute 23.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Our Diary Dater Caeli re-joins us on the pod after a whirlwind couple of weeks in her life, from a big interview to a new job. Ali & Caeli revisit a first date that never materialized into a second and debate Caeli’s potential next steps. Then, the two dive into Caeli’s Bumble and chat opening lines, messaging approach, and how to avoid getting overwhelmed by too many matches. Through it all, we may have identified a pattern that Caeli would like to work on as she moves forward!

In Updates, Ali is back from a baby shower trip to San Diego and a last-minute volleyball trip to Denver. She reflects on conversations about the decision to have kids or remain child free and bonding across generations.

This week’s Media Mention comes from the Gottman Institute’s newsletter, titled “Finding a Culturally-Relevant Therapist

Timestamps: Caeli joins us at around minute 20.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Elyse, one of our Diary Daters, is back on the pod and full of updates to share! First, she goes on a first date that hits a snag when the dude won’t stop looking at his phone. Then, we go back in time to hear some history about a guy who may be entering the picture. But she wonders: should she move forward with getting to know him given some new information she learns?

On Ali’s end, she’s taking Skyline’s advice to heart and approaching her mental health journey with baby steps. She chats about some concrete moves she’s made this past week plus ones she’s looking to put into place moving forward.

This week we have two Media Mentions, both from one of Ali’s favorite podcasts, The Daily. First, from The Daily’s interview with Whitney Wolfe Herd (founder of Bumble) about her take on the future of dating apps. Then, a Modern Love episode revisiting the 36 Questions To Fall In Love, which has Ali reminiscing about when she first knew she was falling in love with Skyline.

Timestamps: Elyse joins us at around minute 34.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Selfup: Check out Selfup and use my code PODCAST20 for a great deal: https://selfup.com

Homeaglow: Head to https://homeaglow.com/mrheight to get your first 3 hours of cleaning for only $19. Thanks so much to Homeaglow for sponsoring this episode!

Armoire: Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Ross: Check out Ross: https://www.ross.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Skyline joins Ali on the pod this week to chat about relationship “rules” (aka agreements) coming out of the Vacation Rules ep a few weeks ago. The two talk about rules they’ve come up with in their relationship, both communicated and otherwise - for example, Ali realizes in real time that they have a rule when they order take out. Then, it’s time to hear from the experts as three friends of the pod chime in on agreements they have in their own relationships. Thanks to Talia Koren, Sabrina Zohar, and Charisse Cooke for their input! They close out the show with input from the listeners - including rules surrounding bedtime smooches, gift giving, conflict resolution, and more.

In Updates, Ali shares some mental health struggles she’s been facing lately and Skyline opens up about why he relates to her feelings - plus offers some advice!

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 19.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Ross: Check out Ross: https://www.ross.com

Bilt Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is answering listener questions in a dedicated Hot Topics episode this week! First, a listener receives a no ghosting script after a fourth date and wonders if she should ask for more clarity. Then, we talk about sarcastic/negative answers on dating app profiles - are they a dealbreaker? Our third listener has an old hook-up come back into the picture, and she’s struggling to see it objectively. Then, a listener worries that her partner isn’t aligned with her five-year plan. And finally, we chat about proactive communication in early dating - what to do if you haven’t heard from someone after a great second date?

In updates, Ali is back from Morocco and enjoying being home for a while. She chats highlights like surprise date night and makeup lessons, and lowlights like a triggering moment that has her reflecting on past experiences (TW: SA).

This week’s media mention is from The New Yorker article, “The New Business of Breakups.” (for Apple pods, link here: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/12/09/the-new-business-of-breakups)

Timestamps: Hot Topics begins at around minute 30.

If you'd like to hear my personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Built Rewards: Take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to joinbilt.com/fmh

Selfup: Check out Selfup and use my code PODCAST20 for a great deal: https://selfup.com

Ross: Check out Ross: https://www.ross.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re hearing from both of our Dating Diaries ladies this week!! First, Caeli joins to update Ali & the listeners on Executive Chef, plus a new (gentle)man enters the picture. Then, Elyse has been busy with two first dates in one night last week. Plus the main reason we’re here: reviewing her Hinge profile! Ali goes through her photos and prompts, providing insight along the way on brevity, calls to action, and incorporating more of Elyse’s hobbies. Check out the Patreon for full video if you’d like to see Elyse’s profile for yourself!

Timestamps: Caeli joins around minute 7 and Elyse at around minute 30.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Check out Armoire: https://armoire.style/FMH

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali is fresh off her one-year anniversary trip with Skyline and dishing about her favorite parts (and not so favorite parts) of the trip. She shares the “vacation rules” that she and Skyline have come up with to help them best enjoy their trips and how some of those “rules” have expanded into every day life. Plus, a stressful moment provides an opportunity to reflect on managing low-level conflict and responding vs reacting in relationships. Ali also answers two listeners questions: one about a friend who consistently brings down the vibe at events and one from a listener who’s debating if she should reach out to a former situationship.

This week’s Media Mention comes from the IMO Podcast with Michelle Obama & Craig Robinson - it’s their episode about joyful dating with Tracee Eliss Ross from April 16th.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Greenleaf Book Group Press: Get your hands on Heirs & Spares: Betwixt the Sheets Edition out now—because royal duty has never been this delicious.

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Avocado Green Mattress: Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com

Ross: Check out Ross: https://www.ross.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali and Skyline are on their first anniversary vacation and he’s just been introduced on social media…no better time to introduce him to the podcast! This week, you’ll hear an interview that Ali & Erica did on the Patreon back in February.

Skyline joined us to answer your questions and introduce himself to the community he’s heard so much about. Our discussion includes: his version of how he met Ali (and what her nickname would have been if he’d given her one), how he was listening along to the pod during early dating, his thoughts on dating someone who talks about dating so openly, how being divorced has impacted his approach to his relationship with Ali, and lots more.

But first, we hear updates from Elyse (one of our Diary Daters) who went to visit a guy in NYC. Will he make good on his nickname as Three Minute Makeout Man?!

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 24.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Greenleaf Book Group Press: Get your hands on Heirs & Spares: Betwixt the Sheets Edition out now—because royal duty has never been this delicious.

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Avocado Green Mattress: Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com

Ross: Check out Ross: https://www.ross.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Caeli from our Dating Diaries segment is back on the podcast this week and we’re diving into her Bumble profile! We walk through her bio, prompts, and photos and discuss where she can make improvements to set herself up for more success. Through Ali’s notes on photo guidelines, best ways to elicit a reply with your prompts, and ways that different people swipe you’ll get some great tips for crafting your own profile! Plus, Caeli fills us in on a first date she went on and the two debate whether she should go on a second. Note: Ali’s mic wasn’t hooked up properly for the updates section, we apologize for the less-than-stellar audio.

In Updates, Ali is back from Colombia with a renewed zest for creating community through travel and is looking forward to this month’s surprise date (planned by Skyline) and their anniversary trip to Mexico. She also reflects on Love On The Spectrum in this week’s Media Mention.

Timestamps: Caeli joins us at around minute 22.

If you'd like to hear my personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20. And through 4/22/25, use code 420 for 30% off the entire site!

Greenleaf Book Group Press: Get your hands on Heirs & Spares: Betwixt the Sheets Edition out now—because royal duty has never been this delicious.

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Arya: Make every date night Valentine’s Day with Arya by your side. VISIT ARYA.FYI AND USE CODE FINDING for 15% off today!

Avocado Green Mattress: Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com

Ross: Check out Ross: https://www.ross.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s time to meet our second Dating Diaries participant…Elyse! A 26-year-old living in a major east coast city, Elyse is ready to dive back into dating after recovering from her longest relationship to date. In this introduction episode, you’ll learn about Elyse’s dating history as a self-proclaimed “late bloomer,” how her last relationship played out, plus a very recent development that’s hot off the presses. Stay tuned as we hear more from Elyse and offer her some big sister advice on her journey that’s unfolding right here on the podcast.

In Updates, Ali has a rough week in her personal life and sets out to have a rejuvenating weekend with Skyline - from new outfits, to sunshine-filled park walks, to yapping with friends, and ending with a relaxing belated birthday present.

Timestamps: Elyse joins us at around minute 26.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Greenleaf Book Group Press: Get your hands on Heirs & Spares: Betwixt the Sheets Editionout now—because royal duty has never been this delicious.

Avocado Green Mattress: Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Ross: Check out Ross: https://www.ross.com

Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Feeling burned out by dating apps? Jessica Hope, founder of Bored of Dating Apps, has BEEN THERE - and she created an entire company to deal with it! Coming to you from Ali’s living room couch, Jess chronicles the dating frustrations that led her to focus more on dating in person and start her own IRL dating events…a journey that ultimately led to her now partner. Ali and Jess chat flirting strategies, how to approach dating events, and much more in this super fun conversation.

But first, Ali is still glowing from her birthday week (plus a surprise date!), feeling so celebrated and loved by everyone in her life. She introduces a relationship check-in lens to her updates, opening up about an emotional moment from last week.

This week’s Media Mention comes from one of Ali’s faves: The Gottman Institute. The article is called Accepting Influence: Find Ways to Say “Yes” and you can find it here: https://www.gottman.com/blog/accepting-influence-find-ways-to-say-yes/

Where to find Bored of Dating Apps: On Instagram @boredofdatingapps on TikTok @boredofdatingapps, at www.boredofdatingapps.com.

Where to find Jessica: On Instagram @jessica.hope.boda.

Timestamps: Jessica joins at around minute 25.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Avocado Green Mattress: Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com.

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: happymammoth.com

Factor: Check out Factor: https://factormeals.com/factorpodcast

Arya: Make every date night Valentine’s Day with Arya by your side. VISIT ARYA.FYI AND USE CODE FINDING for 15% off today!

Ross: Check out Ross: https://www.ross.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s our very first Dating Diaries episode, a new segment following listeners along their dating journeys. We’re kicking things off with two listeners, and our first Diary Dater is Caeli, a 32-year-old living in the Chicago suburbs who is ready to start dating intentionally. In this intro episode, you’ll learn more about Caeli’s story including her dating history (and some nicknames), what she’s looking for, her current dating goals/challenges, and more. Stay tuned in future episodes as we follow along with Caeli’s dates and help her get some outside guidance.

But first, in Updates, Ali is having an emotional day (okay, week) while recording and shares her release from that. But the week kicked off celebrating her best friend’s birthday starting with a group trip to New Orleans and wrapping with a relaxing day at a bath house!

Timestamps: Caeli joins at around minute 19.

If you'd like to hear Ali’s personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bellesa: SILENT VIBRATOR GIVEAWAY: https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/findingmrheight-podcast

Ross: Check out Ross: https://www.ross.com

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Factor: Check out Factor: https://factormeals.com/factorpodcast

Arya: Make every date night Valentine’s Day with Arya by your side. VISIT ARYA.FYI AND USE CODE FINDING for 15% off today!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’ve got part 2 of my re-introduction this week - both for newer listeners and even our OG crowd as I pick up where we left off last week and dive deep into my live since starting FMH. We chat toxic relationships, career changes, regrets, and much more in part two of this two-part series to kick off my solo podcasting journey. Plus, I share some exciting news on the Skyline front (and promise to highlight more about our relationship in future episodes, including with him as a guest!).

This week’s media mention comes from Josh Lora, @tellthebeees on TikTok and IG, discussing The Cut’s article “My Friends Abandoned Me When They Had Kids.”

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 12.

If you'd like to hear my personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Arya: Make every date night Valentine’s Day with Arya by your side. VISIT ARYA.FYI AND USE CODE FINDING for 15% off today!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

TW: Grief and SA (see below for more). It’s my (Ali’s) first official solo episode and we’re starting things off with a re-introduction to my background - both for newer listeners and even our OG crowd as I share deeper insights into my childhood/early adulthood & the things that led me to who I am today. We chat friendship wounds, anxious attachment origins, grief, and much more in part one of this two-part series to kick off my solo podcasting journey. Plus, we get into some early days nicknames from before FMH as you know it existed and chat about a strategy I recently learned for managing overthinking!

Trigger warning: I discuss grief/loss throughout the episode, beginning around minute 15, and briefly discuss SA around minute 27 lasting for 35 minutes (both are called out verbally before they are mentioned).

This week’s media mention comes from episode 11 of Felix Levine’s podcast, Unlike Me, and the clip is posted to his TikTok @felixlevine.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Check out Factor: https://factormeals.com/factorpodcast

Arya: Make every date night Valentine’s Day with Arya by your side. VISIT ARYA.FYI AND USE CODE FINDING for 15% off today!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re saying goodbye to Erica as a Finding Mr. Height co-host on this week’s episode of the podcast, and it’s definitely an emotional one! After getting the latest Roommate update, Ali interviews Erica using questions from both you the listeners and ones Ali has herself. Topics include: Erica’s highlights and learnings from her journey on the podcast, her favorite (and least favorite) piece of dating advice, what she hopes for her career moving forward, advice she has for Ali on the pod moving forward, and more. Erica, we will miss you SO much. We love you!

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 23.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Apostrophe: Save $15 and get your dermatologist-crafted treatment plan for just $5 at apostrophe.com/FMH and use code FMH.

Factor: Check out Factor: https://factormeals.com/factorpodcast

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

For Erica’s second to last episode on the pod, we’re doing one of our favorite formats one last time together…Am I The Asshole featuring submissions from Reddit! This week we have: a man wonders if he’s being unreasonable in wanting his girlfriend to loosen up her 50/50 view of household chores, the finances of a long distance relationship causes resentment, and a husband and wife clash over whose responsibility it is to wake themselves up in the morning.

In Updates, Erica is still traveling and reflects on her communication and connection with The Roommate while she’s been gone. Ali celebrates Valentine’s Day with Skyline and the gals reminisce about Valentine’s Days past.

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 23.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Apostrophe: Save $15 and get your dermatologist-crafted treatment plan for just $5 at apostrophe.com/FMH and use code FMH.

Factor: Head to factormeals.com/factorpodcast and use code fmh50off to get 50% off.

Life Straw: Check out LifeStraw and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://lifestraw.com

Arya: Make every date night Valentine’s Day with Arya by your side. VISIT ARYA.FYI AND USE CODE FINDING for 15% off today!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We had so many grab bag questions from you that we’re back to answer more this week! Tune in for our thoughts on: choosing bridesmaids & navigating friends’ feelings about it, texting with someone who canceled a first date, feeling anxious when you haven’t heard from someone you’re dating, admitting romantic feelings for a friend, deciding whether to pay for dating apps, and navigating your partner’s friendship with an ex.

In Updates, Erica sees The Roommate twice (!!) before she leaves for the east coast. Ali celebrates a major accomplishment with Mama J.

Don’t forget we’d love to meet you live in NYC on Saturday, February 22nd! Tickets at findingmrheight.com/live.

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 32.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Apostrophe: Save $15 and get your dermatologist-crafted treatment plan for just $5 at apostrophe.com/FMH and use code FMH.

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Arya: Make every date night Valentine’s Day with Arya by your side. VISIT ARYA.FYI AND USE CODE FINDING for 15% off today!

Life Straw: Check out LifeStraw and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://lifestraw.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

TW: Mention of verbal abuse & body shaming. We’re joined by an FMH listener this week for a Storytime about his journey through a bad marriage and into the dating journey that followed his divorce. He takes us through all the lessons he’s learned along the way (and some intense stories) as he worked on himself to lead to his current, healthy partnership (and new baby!).

In Updates, Erica recaps her long-awaited first date with The Roommate and reflects on how her upcoming travel could impact their connection. Ali is excited to have Skyline on the Patreon for the first time, but is dealing with some medical issues.

Don’t forget we’d love to meet you live in NYC on Saturday, February 22nd! Tickets at findingmrheight.com/live.

Timestamps: Justin joins us at around minute 25.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Bellesa: FREE TOYS OR GIFT CARDS FOR TOYS! Everyone who signs up to our giveaway with Bellesa wins something! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/findingmrheight-podcast

Life Straw: Check out LifeStraw and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://lifestraw.com

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Apostrophe: Save $15 and get your dermatologist-crafted treatment plan for just $5 at apostrophe.com/FMH and use code FMH.

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This week we are joined by Julie & Yue, cohosts of the amazing Dateable podcast and authors of the new book, ‘How To Be Dateable!’ Julie & Yue have drawn on their deep dating histories to develop the advice in their book (and their podcast). And it turns out our two duos have something in common: we’re both Dreamer/Maverick cohost teams! Ali, Erica, Julie, & Yue dive into how these archetypes have shaped their dating journeys and give advice on how listeners can make their type work for them (plus what pitfalls to look out for).

But first, Ali & Erica discuss the upcoming Valentine’s Day holiday and how they’ve approached it in the past. Plus, Ali recaps her January surprise date with Skyline and Erica looks forward to her first date with The Roommate.

Where to find Julie & Yue: On the Dateable podcast and on Instagram @dateablepodcast. Order their book, How To Be Datable for more from this episode!

Don’t forget we’d love to meet you live in NYC on Saturday, February 22nd! Tickets at findingmrheight.com/live.

Timestamps: Julie & Yue joins us at around minute 24.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Life Straw: Check out LifeStraw and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://lifestraw.com

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Arya: Make every date night Valentine’s Day with Arya by your side. VISIT ARYA.FYI AND USE CODE FINDING for 15% off today!

Apostrophe: Save $15 and get your dermatologist-crafted treatment plan for just $5 at apostrophe.com/FMH and use code FMH.

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Ali & Erica are answering your rapid-fire questions in another grab bag episode! Including: filtering out ghosters, dating in other cities besides your own, handling breakups, and managing expectations for a second date.

In Updates, Ali is back from her travels and recounts some special & emotional memories from introducing Skyline to her San Diego people. Erica looks forward to the roommate date when she returns to LA.

Don’t forget we’d love to meet you live in NYC on Saturday, February 22nd! Tickets at findingmrheight.com/live.

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 46.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Life Straw: Check out LifeStraw and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://lifestraw.com

Arya: Make every date night Valentine’s Day with Arya by your side. VISIT ARYA.FYI AND USE CODE FINDING for 15% off today!

Apostrophe: Save $15 and get your dermatologist-crafted treatment plan for just $5 at apostrophe.com/FMH and use code FMH.

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Erica & Ali have a major podcast update at the top of the episode. It’s an emotional one, and we thank you all for being here for it.

We then transition to a lighter topic, discussing several Am I The Asshole situations from Reddit. First, a woman disagrees with her mother in law on who should pay for a broken phone. Then, a husband has issues with her sister in law’s new partner (and they how they got together). And lastly, a woman wonders if she went too far when she told her boyfriend he was being arrogant.

Don’t forget we’d love to meet you live in NYC on Saturday, February 22nd! Tickets at findingmrheight.com/live.

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 28.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com/FMH and use code FMH20.

Arya: Make every date night Valentine’s Day with Arya by your side. VISIT ARYA.FYIAND USE CODE FINDING for 15% off today!

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Life Straw: Check out LifeStraw and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://lifestraw.com

Apostrophe: Save $15 and get your dermatologist-crafted treatment plan for just $5 at apostrophe.com/FMH and use code FMH.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’ve all been in conflict before, but have you ever thought about how your conflict style affects the outcome? And how that style might shift over time and in various situations? This week, Ali & Erica dive into five conflict styles: Competing, Accommodating, Avoiding, Collaborating, and Compromising. Is any one better than the others? Or are some styles more effective than we might think depending on the scenario? We also dive into our own conflict styles and how we’ve experienced them in past relationships. Let us know what parts of this discussion you’d like us to dive into further!

In Updates, Erica has a series of frustrating exchanges with the NYE guy but looks forward to returning home for a date. Ali recounts her gift exchange with Skyline as they prepare to leave for Mexico.

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 25.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com and use code FMH20.

Apostrophe: Save $15 and get your dermatologist-crafted treatment plan for just $5 at apostrophe.com/FMH and use code FMH.

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Life Straw: Check out LifeStraw and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://lifestraw.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you’ve ever wondered what men are thinking as they’re out there dating, Ali & Erica have got your back: this week, we chat with Blaine Anderson, who exclusively coaches men on their dating journey! Blaine gives insight into what her clients struggle with most, what makes them seek out her coaching, how to make it more likely that a man will approach you IRL, and more. Plus, she gives a plug for giving “nice guys” more of a shot - attraction can grow, y’all!

In Updates, the gals are fresh off of New Year's Eve: find out which plans Erica decided to do and how Ali’s hosting went. Plus, Ali shares highlights from her Paris trip with Skyline!

Where to find Blaine: On Instagram @datingbyblaine, on TikTok @datingbyblaine, at www.datingbyblaine.com.

Timestamps: Blaine joins us at around minute 27.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com and use code FMH20.

Life Straw: Check out LifeStraw and use my code FMH for a great deal: https://lifestraw.com

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Rebag: Get 10% off your first purchase with code FMH

Factor: Head to factormeals.com/50FMH and use code 50FMH to get 50% off.

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

It’s our last episode of 2024 and we’ve got a roundup of the year coming at you! We polled our audience for your best superlative categories plus added in a few of our own. Tune in as we discuss our best/worst dates (and kisses) of the year, best new movie, pop culture moment, place to meet people IRL…and more! PS apologies for the occasional ticking sound when Erica is talking in the topic section - we had some audio issues that should be resolved now!

In Updates, Erica has a bit of a NYE dilemma coming out of a great first date while Ali makes a new connection on Christmas Eve.

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 28.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Acorns: Check out Acorns: https://acorns.com/FMH

Factor: Head to factormeals.com/50FMH and use code 50FMH to get 50% off.

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: happymammoth.com

Rebag: Get 10% off your first purchase with code FMH

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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We’re doing a full episode debating Am I The Asshole submissions from Reddit! Ali & Erica discuss the following scenarios: a couple quarrels over their holiday traditions, a poster questions whether he should have told his friend he doesn’t like her boyfriend, a guy comes back from my vacation to discover that his partner has left his apartment a total mess, and a couple disagrees about whether it’s okay for one of them to attend a rehearsal dinner alone.

In Updates, Erica encounters a very realistic scam attempt from a fake Bumble match while Ali is off on her Christmas markets adventure. Plus, the gals discuss the latest list of best/worst cities for dating from The New York Times.

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 27.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com and use code FMH20.

Factor: Head to factormeals.com/fmh50 and use code fmh50 to get 50% off.

Rebag: Get 10% off your first purchase with code FMH

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: happymammoth.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali & Erica welcome an OG of queer dating coaching & matchmaking onto the pod this week - Dr. Frankie Bashan! You may know her from the sexually fluid season of Are You The One? or from her company Little Gay Book Matchmaking. Dr. Frankie tells us about the specific challenges her queer clients face compared to other daters (and what parallels she sees!) along with giving advice on approaching dating IRL and coming into your own at a later age. We can’t wait for you to hear our conversation!

In Updates, Erica has yet another encounter from her past (what is the universe trying to say??) while Ali recounts her monthly surprise date with Skyline and looks forward to their Paris trip.

Where to find Dr. Frankie: On Instagram @drfrankiebashan on TikTok @drfrankiebashan at www.littlegaybook.com.

Timestamps: Dr. Frankie joins us at around minute 38.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon: www.patreon.com/findingmrheight . And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all at www.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com and use code FMH20.

Factor: Head to factormeals.com/fmh50 and use code fmh50 to get 50% off.

Rebag: Get 10% off your first purchase with code FMH

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: happymammoth.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Ali & Erica are answering listener questions on the pod this week! But first, we start out with a listener update from a prior Hot Topics episode - remember our distant security guard?? Then, the gals answer 3 new questions. First, what to do if a match’s app profile disappears before your first date? Second, we give advice to a listener who is struggling with getting back onto the apps after a dating hiatus as the only single friend. Lastly, a listener is headed to a wedding where she’ll see an old fling - should she tell her current partner? Don’t forget you can submit questions (and updates!) of your own at findingmrheight.com/podcast!

In Updates, Erica has a ~magical~ blast from the past while Ali reveals what she’s getting Skyline for Christmas (and how they decided on gifts!). Skyline, if you’re listening to this, no you’re not.

Timestamps: Topic talk begins at around minute 22.

If you'd like to hear our personal updates before everyone else as well as other exclusive content, join The Search Party on Patreon:www.patreon.com/findingmrheight. And, if you want to ask a question, submit a Storytime idea, or have general feedback, you can do it all atwww.findingmrheight.com/podcast

Want to leave us a voice note? Leave a voicemail at 929-888-7184 with your question and we will weigh in!

Thanks to this week’s partners:

Sunset Lake CBD: For 20% off all products, go to sunsetlakecbd.com and use code FMH20.

Apostrophe: Save $15 and get your dermatologist-crafted treatment plan for just $5 at apostrophe.com/FMH and use code FMH.

Happy Mammoth: Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code FMH for a great deal: happymammoth.com

Check out Gobble and use our code HEIGHT for a great deal: gobble.com

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy