10:16 Man - Shepherd Warrior King

I am honored to share this episode with you.  Paul McArthur has been a friend since Pee Wee basketball.

Paul is a man of God, a pastor, husband, father and gym owner.  Paul shares his struggles with insecurities, which kept him from participating early on, and the journey he has been on to find out; who God has created him to be, how to be the best version of that, and ultimately live out God's purpose for his life. 

From feeling like an outsider, to gaining confidence, becoming a youth pastor, catching vision for what is important in life, the importance of overcoming struggles, failures he had along the way, his relationship with his father, reconciliation,  the tension between competition in characters, to having thick skin, but keeping your heart soft

Lt. Col. Dave Grossman is a former US Army Ranger, a paratrooper, and a former West Point Psychology Professor.  He has published many novels, non-fiction, and children’s’ books, including a bestseller On Killing (with over half a million copies sold), On Combat, and Sheepdogs children’s book. Col. Grossman’s has testified before the U.S. Senate, the U.S. Congress, and numerous state legislatures.  He has served as an expert witness and consultant in state and Federal courts. Lt. Grossman is one of our nation’s leading trainers for military, law enforcement, mental health providers, and school safety organizations.

To learn more about Lt. Col. Dave Grossman or to buy one of his books, go to:

www.GrossmanOnTruth.com

- The only thing you can control is how you choose to respond . . . 

- You don’t lose control you give it away . . . 

- It is never appropriate to lose your temper . . . 

- "Put here on this battlefield love God and people" - Galatians 6:9

- "If you truly love something let it go, if it comes back to you it is yours"

- Prodigal Son 

- The opposite of evil is love as the opposite of darkness is light

- Empathy is what makes first responders great

“Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:
“Whom shall I send,
 And who will go for Us?”
Then I said, “Here am I! Send me.” - Isaiah 6:8

- "Greater love has no one than this that they lay down their lives for friends.  '

- "Sometimes the greatest love is not to sacrifice your life, but to live a life of sacrifice” 

- Effects of violent video games on boys . . . 

DJ Vanas is a member of the Odawa tribe of Michigan, served in the U.S. Air Force where he received his B.S. and was a boxer.  DJ is an internationally acclaimed speaker for Fortune 500 companies, has written a few books, including “The Warrior Within:Own your power to serve, fight, protect, and heal”. DJ is a true ogichidaa (warrior).  

In this episode we talk about:

To learn more about DJ Vanas or purchase one of his books go to:

www.nativediscovery.com

Mike Balwin is a man of God, a devoted husband and father, and now handles the day to day operations of Grossman on Truth.  Prior to that, Mike served Arizona  as a  law enforcement officer in areas of patrol, Field Training Officer, SWAT Operator, Sergeant, and Lead Detective in the Major Felons Unit, where Mike was given the nickname, "The Legend", by those he worked with.  

Today we discuss topics such as
   - 5:56 faith
   - 9:19 being the light amidst the darkness
   - 12:27 commonalities in criminals and lack of responsiblity
   - 15:30 raising boys
   - 17:58 oath of a law enforcement officer
   - 20:00 do the right thing no matter what
   - 29:00 "foxhole friends"
   - 33:27 fear
   - 36:00 what makes a  "Legend"
   - 42:13 reputation
   - 45:00 sheep, sheepdog, and wolf - Grossman on Truth
   - 49:58 family

Grossman on Truth - https://grossmanontruth.com/

Today's guest is Tim Wright.  Tim is an author, pastor, husband, father, and co-host of The Wonder of Parenting Podcast with Dr. Michael Gurian.  We talk about brain science, education, faith, rites of passage and more.  

To find out more about Tim Wright follow the links below:

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-barbie-movie-girls-and-boys/id1436262138?i=1000625923393

Books: https://www.timwrightbooks.com/

Rites of Passage Material: https://www.timwrightministries.org/rites-of-passage

In this episode Dr. Cheryl Hart talks about normalizing emotions for boys.  She dives into: lizard brain vs. logic brain, families stigmatizing emotions, emotional management, changing the culture around talking about emotions, naming our feelings, introduces the Anger Iceberg, creating safety in the home, de-escalation, and resiliency.  

#1016man #Shepherd #Warrior #King #emotionalcontrol #strongmen #strongboys #suicideawareness #mentalhealth #stressmanagement #firefighter #lawenforcement #military #purpose #faith #leadership #character #emotionalresilience #emotions #resilience #deescalation #families

Shane is a US military veteran whose personal and professional mission is to serve veterans and their families.  Shane is a husband, father, and dedicated man of God who you can find serving his church and community.  He has started a group called the Cadre Concept which is a group of “like-minded high achievers who choose to lead abundant lives in service to others.” 

My conversation with Shane covers his early life where abuse, neglect, drugs and death were a part of his story.  Shane’s mom packed his family into a car to flee this life and father #1.  Shane talks about the three fathers he had and the impacts each of them and those stages of life had on him.  We talk about the importance of faith, raising boys, and the concept of drifting, being driven, and being directed.  

You can find these concepts in his book, 

“Becoming H.E.R.O.I.C: How to Protect Your Family, Finances, and Future”  

https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-H-R-I-C-Finances/dp/1978031394/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=2440ZPU1H4W9E&keywords=H.E.R.O.I.C+shane+mcgraw&qid=1685120831&sprefix=h.e.r.o.i.c+shane+mcgra%2Caps%2C237&sr=8-1

Today you get to hear from my friend Philip Flatau.  You will get to follow along with a story that spans from 

Wild young Philip turning off Friday night lights at a local football game, to Husband, Father, Dr, Lt. Colonal serving in the United States Airforce , and devoted Man of God.  
Philip is the son of my mentor and first podcast guest, Mark Flatau.  As you will hear, the apple didn’t fall too far from the proverbial tree.  

Philip's wisdom builds a foundation hewn from his faith in Jesus Christ, a character woven by intentionality, consistency, grace, and humility, with a leadership philosophy of Authentic service and Consistent in character to empower, encourage and take care of those beneath him, making rational decisions that are people focused. 

My guest today is Laura Smith.  Laura is a teacher, administrator, wife, mom, and educational consultant.  Her aim is to build connection and community through behavioral neuroscience.  She brings up topics like neurodivergence, the formative years from 0-3, attuned parenthood, coregulation, intentionality, intergenerational growth through repair, yelling neuroplasticity, and how we are wired for two things, connection and protection.

You can follow her on Instagram: https://instagram.com/lauraleesmithconsulting

or at her website:  https://lauraleesmithconsulting.com/

In this episode Mike Washington shares his experiences from 0-18; foster home, abandonment, homelessness, alcoholism, domestic violence, molestation,  and the impacts they had on his life.  Mike talks about his time in the marines and the fire service, as well as the loss of his son, PTSD, and suicidal ideations.  He goes on to express the negative impacts of boys just shoving down their stress and emotions, and ends by teaching us four things we need to teach our boys; emotions are ok, learn how to manage them, talk about them, and model them.  

My guest today is; Author, Evangelist, Educator, Church Planter, and Social Entrepreneur.

James Owolabi is an evangelist, church planter and christian educator who currently lives in Nigeria. He is passionate about training next generation leaders. James was born and raised in Africa and spent the first twenty years of his adult life in full time ministry in the United States. He served in youth ministry for over two decades in North America before relocating to Africa. Owolabi is on the teaching team of two multi-site churches in the Chicago and Minneapolis area. James is a second-generation ordained Baptist Minister who is passionate about buidling leaders, planting healthy local churches and  establishing Christ-centered academic institutions  in Nigeria and across Africa. He is married to Helen Olabisi Owolabi and together they love serving Christ in Nigeria.

In this episode, the Nigerian pastor shares insights into the needs of the youth he has pastored, while also speaking to the strengths of each community he has served in.  

James shares the importance of living out the gospel, building relationships, and the family unit, as well as, the effects of poverty and fatherlessness on our youth throughout the world. 

As you listen to the pastors knowledge and love for each community, keep in mind, I didn’t give pastor one prompt.  

He speaks about; honor, race, faith, discernment, the media, laziness, and much more.

To follow follow and or support James’ mission to serve youth throughout the world visit:

jamesowolabi.com/donate or nigeriaforjesus.com

You can also find his book:

“The Real Cure for Racism" Reflections on the murder of George Floyd, at Amazon;

https://www.amazon.com/Real-Cure-Racism-James-Owolabi/dp/0578314959

This episode is a tough one.   Andrew Douglas and I talk about his struggle with PTSD, and how suicidal ideations almost ended his life.  This is an uncensored, very raw, face to face account with a man who was on his way to end it all.  This may be hard to listen to if you have lost someone to suicide, are suicidal, or have someone in your life who is.  Andrew identifies where the struggle began, where it went, his journey towards healing, and the skills necessary for boys to deal with stresses and traumas.  

Andrew welcomes you to book at stay at his permaculture farm in Costa Rica, Finca de los Colores.  Follow Andrew and finca de los Colores on:

Instagram: @finca_de_los_colores or @the_fresh_outdoors
Website: www.fincadeloscolores.com
Facebook: Finca De Los Colores

If you or anyone you know is struggling with suicidal ideations please call 911 for emergencies or:

988                               National Suicide Prevention Hotline 

(206) 459-3020     Safe call Now 

(425)243-5092      Code4NW.com

(844) 525-FIRE.     Firestrong.org 

(888) 443-4898.    First Responder Wellness Center 

(855) 957-4877    IAFF Center of Excellence. 

In this episode I had the pleasure of speaking with Dr Cheryl Hart.  Dr. Hart is a mental health therapist who spends her time walking alongside firefighters dealing predominantly with PTSD and L&I claims.  Dr. Hart has walked along side of many of my brothers and sisters, adding life and longevity to them, their careers and their families.  Today we discuss the importance of men acknowledging and being aware of their emotions, the increased propensity of suicide and depression in firefighters, law enforcement and military personnel.  We dive into emotional resiliency, building up “emotional muscle”, and the power of getting in emotional reps.  We touch on emotional neglect, PTSD, Depression, emotional safety, having a menu of responses to pull from, and that sometimes you have to kick ass, go to war and punch people in the face. 

Having a man in your corner is invaluable.  They are aware of your strengths and your weaknesses, and are willing to walk along side of you.  I cover the traits of a good cornerman, as well as the importance of seeking wise counsel. 

In this episode I interview a man who I can call, "wise counsel",  Mark Flatau.  Mark is a son of God, husband, father, and has served as a; teacher, coach, athletic director, principal, and superintendent.  Mark holds a special place. in my heart.  Mark was a major factor in me coming to Christ, and has served as my mentor for over 20 years.  Today Mark and I talk about his early years, the importance of God in our lives, breaking the chains of family circumstances, discipline, boundaries/structure, intentionality, "pink hair", emotional control, and the "how not the what". 

Podcast coming soon!

This world needs honorable men. Are you raising the next generation of men? Do you have a son? A younger brother? A boy in the neighborhood that needs guidance?  Are you a coach? A mentor?  Wise counsel?  Join me in discovering and putting into action what it takes to raise up and train the next generation of men.   This world needs 10:16 men. 

As rates of suicide, depression, and other mental health issues rise, and responsibility, accountability, masculinity and purpose decline, I invite you to explore the soft and hard traits of man; how to engage in community, be a shepherd, warrior and king, lead, follow, debate, how to manage stress, how to be confident and take control of your life, and live it with purpose.   

The 10:16 man is controlled, calculated, emotionally intelligent and resilient, engaged in family and community, is dangerous and kind.  He is a shepherd, a warrior and a king.