As An Adult

This week, we get little! Honey, I Shrunk the Kids taught a generation of us to be terrified of their own backyards. And also their dad's shrinking machine in the attic. 

Unicorn obsession didn't start for 90's kids with My Little Pony. Don't get it twisted. The OG Unicorn story for Old Millennials involves a Red Bull, a stoned butterfly and a peg-leg pirate kitty. Sound unnecessary and scattered and scary? Of course it does. 

Demonstrations, diagrams, experiments, danger, rock bands, volcanoes...relax everyone, it's SCIENCE. Join us for an EXPLOSIVE conversation with special guest, Louis Steinberg about America's beloved Science Teacher, Bill Nye.

If you think that this movie was terrifying when you saw it in 1999 and it *might* be just as scary now, you are...correct. Also, it is ABSURD that Haley Joel Osment didn't get an Oscar for this role. 

In perhaps his most elementary role, Arnold Schwarzenegger charms as tough cop turned goofus Kindergarten teacher, John Kimble. Yes there's a ferret and YES Leslie Knope's mom (actress Pamela Reed) SLAYS as Arnold's partner. Who is the target audience for this adorable/scary light-hearted/bloodbath family/thriller film for? We still don't know.  

If a giant (and we're talkin GIANT) robot fell from the sky...wouldn't YOU want it to be your best friend? Yep. We do too. This week we travel to Somewhere Off The Coast Of Maine for an adventure with Hogarth and his new alien machine pal. 

There might be a spoon. It's 2020. We don't know anymore. 

Have you ever wondered how a Jack Russell Terrier would fare in an old-timey sword fight? Well, look no further than PBS's 90's hit, Wishbone! Combining his love of classic literature and modern day #KidProbz, our four-legged friend gave us the English lessons (and trivia fodder) we didn't know we needed. 

Finally, As An Adult gets to Leo, in his breakout role. 

See what I did there? Ok, fine, yes this was after Romeo and Juliet, and YES this was after TITANIC of all things but I think we can all admit that Leo's turn as France's King Louis XIV rocking just an unabashed American accent while prancing around Versailles should have won this man an Oscar. The Academy should be ASHAMED of itself. 

This week we dip back into TGIF with Boy Meets World. It turns out that although everything old is new again, we are NOT here for that dumb "curtain" haircut. 90's, you can KEEP IT. 

Go-Go Gadget Podcast! In syndication for a million years, Inspector Gadget, Penny, Brain, Dr. Claw, and Madcat bumbled their way into our living rooms day after day. Was this show ever NOT on??? Heck, even the constantly exploding Chief Quimby holds a special place in our 90's kids' hearts. 

"Welcome to doing whatever you wish...eating and sleeping all day...welcome to being...DEAD." 

YES! This is a kid's movie about dog-on-dog MURDER. Wasn't being a 90's kid just a BLAST??!?! It's fine, there's waffles and a raygun and a singing alligator. 

Remember how we thought that in the 90's we dressed like Cher Horowitz? And then we thought we dressed like Clarissa? Yeah, we dressed like Alex Mack. And we weren't even cool enough to have Capri-Sun-morph powers to make up for it.  

Second star to the right and straight on til morning! So, what would happen if Peter Pan...grew up? Would he become cranky corporate lawyer who doesn't like kids and afraid to fly??!! Of COURSE he would. But don't worry. A little dip into his repressed memories of (some very confusing) childhood trauma and some pixie dust should do the trick! 

If Charles Dickens could choose any modern day actor to play him as Narrator in this most beloved Christmas Carol, he would DEFINITELY choose Gonzo, right?? Also, if Rizzo isn't almost choking on plastic fruit, is it even Christmas? 

This could all have been avoided if SOME ADULT ordered lil' baby Kevin a dang cheese pizza. Just one olive-free slice, and we could have avoided this whole charade. But NO. Buzz had to go and eat the last piece of cheese, milk goes everywhere and poor Kevin gets left behind. But was violently assaulting the Wet Bandits every kid's DREAM or WHAT??!?! 

Don't forget to @ us this week with your ten answers to 1995's Outburst category: Things Your Family Takes on a Trip 

Is Zach Morris *actually* trash? Maybe. Is the CURLY to STRAIGHT hair ratio on this show perfect? Absolutely. Does a duck have to die to make a point about environmentalism? You'll have to listen to find out. This week we take a look at your favorite preppies (preppys?) and dorks from Bayside High. 

Does everyone know what time it is?! TOOL TIME. That's right, this week we revisit a 90's family sitcom staple. Will Wilson ever show his face? Was Al the 90's OG Lumbersexual? Also, I know there's a joke about Meg and Sarah being tools in here somewhere. 

Submitted for the approval of The Midnight Society: Are You Afraid of the Dark? Know what we're afraid of? Kids starting fires in the woods by themselves and guest appearances by the likes of Gilbert Gottfried and Ryan Damn Gosling. Snuggle up in your flannel, hide behind your crimped hair...it's the final Halloween Ep of AAA! 

Yes, children. Gather 'round the telly and watch as the Grand High Witch takes off her actual face. Don't worry, it's just Jim Henson puppetry/prosthetics. You're 5 years old. Get over yourself. Oh! And we're depending on a MOUSE to save the day. EVERYTHING'S FINE. 

Remember that time that Baby Frodo and drugs saved the day? This classic, grungy, 90's Sci-Fi thriller made us afraid of our teachers, each other and hanging out underneath the bleachers. 

The Sanderson Sisters are BACK! And they've HAUNTED our podcast! That last recording wasn't right - THIS ONE IS! Oops! Looks like those old witches hate technology as much as these two witches do. Happy Halloween!!! 

It's Cher's world. We're just living in it. In 1995, Cher Horowitz showed us how to dress, how talk, how to be a good friend and how to negotiate with our teachers for a lower grade and when THAT doesn't pan out, how to make our teacher fall in love and give EVERYONE A's!!! No? Just us? Okay. Does she fall in love with her step brother? Yes. Does she have flawless hair the whole time? Also, yes. 

Welcome to Season 2 of As An Adult! This week we take a look at summer camp and Nickelodeon's Salute Your Shorts.

Why is Ug the only adult on camp?

What kind of conditioner does Budnick use? 

Did they get it right...or pay the price?

All these questions and more answered on this week's episode. Grab your bug juice and a chicken puck and settle in for the show! 

This week, Steve Martin helps us with our math anxiety. If you want to buy 24 hot dogs in packages of 8, how many packages of 12 buns will you need? Is it easier to take out 4 buns from 3 packs of 12 and end up in jail? Maybe. Or if you're married to Diane Keaton, maybe you don't really need to worry about the fall out fall your lunatic behavior. Happy Father's Day! 

Who DIDN'T want a friend to climb in their window and have their parents be TOTALLY COOL WITH IT??? And we agree, FergBreath was the WORST. Also, Clarissa's fashion, her room, her snarky tomboy attitude, all of it: #90sGoals. WE STAN CLARISSA! (Am I using that right? I'm, 1,000 years old) 

It's called "Chip 'n Dale" but we all know who the real hero is, the glue that holds this gang together, sometimes literally: Gadget. Homegirl wears goggles, rocks a lavender jumpsuit, and fixes EVERYTHING. #MouseWomenInSTEM. Also - we think we've found the root of our love (obsession?) with chee*ee*ee*eese...Monterey Jack. Love of cheese? Check. Turtle neck and snazzy blazer? Check. No pants? DOUBLE CHECK. #WeAreMonty 

When you're undead, you should...JUST READ THE MANUAL. Barb and Adam are in a world of trouble when a family from New York moves into their house. It's hard to evict squatters when you're a ghost. Lessons learned: Delia Deetz is proto-Moira Rose and apparently, dogs can get away with murder. 

If YOU ALSO thought this show just was a sitcom about a "typical American" family played by giant, crude animatronic/puppet dinosaurs, you are NOT ALONE. Turns out, this show had an AGENDA and we were just along for the ride to let it subliminally shove us into the raging environmentalist feminists we are today. 

ONLY Robin Williams could pull off dressing as an old lady and tricking his ex-wife into hiring him as their kids' nanny. We look back fondly on this ICONIC role by one of the most beloved actors from our childhoods. Sorry for the fawning...but it's Robin, y'all. 

Why, yes. It IS *inconceivable* that we would attempt to tackle this cult classic. But, here we are. Even if you're mostly dead, join your favorite pod hosts as we go on an adventure of a lifetime with The Man in Black to save his beloved Buttercup. This pod isn't quite as good as an MLT, but at least we had fun. 

We're ruining the planet. Everything's fine. In 1992, human being Zak gets accidentally shrunk down to fairy-size and together with proto-manic-pixie-dream-girl, Crysta, they fight against Hexxus to save Fern Gully. Spoiler alert: pollution suxx. 

If you are wondering what being a kid in the 90's looked, sounded and felt like...this is it. This week, Meg and Sarah dive into the world of two best friends and brothers, Pete and Pete. They take on enemies, they survive a family road trip and look for love. Also, there's a squid buried in the middle of the football field. 

Astoundingly, Katherine stashing cocaine in the cross of her rosary is NOT the worst thing in Cruel Intentions. Based on an 18th Century French novel, this iconic 90's teen drama is not the harmless and fun bad girl/bad boy movie that you might (not) remember.

A tamer version of Ren and Stimpy, Rocko's Modern Life was window into what it's like to be an immigrant wallaby living with your cow friend. Rocko, Heffer, and Spunky kept our eyes glued to the screen for countless afternoons in the 90s. What did it teach us? We still can't figure it out. 

Imagine your family, with kids aged 2(?) - 10, gathering around the television in the mid-90's to watch...The X-Files. That's right. The X-FILES. This week we find out how Sarah turned out "normal" despite eating a billion BLTs and watching Scully and Mulder kick so much paranormal butt. Happy Birthday Sarah! 

"Take the fall! Act hurt! Get indignant!" - solid coaching advice. Join Meg & Sarah for another ill-informed discussion about sports. This week we travel back to 1992 to watch the REAL "miracle on ice." A hot-shot lawyer goes on a journey of self-discovery by being forced to coach a hockey team (who can barely skate) all the way to winning the championship! Quack...Quack...Quack...Quack

Before there was American Ninja Warrior, there was Legends of the Hidden Temple. Riffing off Indiana Jones, Gladiators and the reptile room at the zoo, Nickelodeon's 1993 hit game show starred kid contestants competing to retrieve "the artifact." Culturally appropriated? Sure. But who doesn't love watching white guys in scary "temple guard" masks get decked by the terrified kids? 

Can Atreyu stop the Nothing from destroying Fantasia? Was Atrax being swallowed by the mud as traumatizing as you remember? Was it wise to use your wishes to terrorize bullies instead of bringing your mom back from the dead? All of these questions and more will be answered on this week's episode. Listen up! 

Anne M Martin penned this iconic 90's series for young baby-sitters, teaching all of us about friendship, integrity, entrepreneurship and chutzpa. Thank goodness Claudia had a landline! And candy. So. Much. Candy. 

Imagine being in the writer's room for this pitch:

Aliens run struggling theme park in outer space. Aliens decide to kidnap The Looney Tunes and make them perform at the theme park. Looney Tunes challenge aliens to basketball game. So the aliens take the talents of 5 NBA players then Looney Tunes realize they need some talent. Looney Tunes kidnap ACTUAL MICHAEL JORDAN by...sucking him down a GOLF HOLE. They play the game. Looney Tunes win. Aliens decide to move to Looney Tune Land. Oh, and Bill Murray is there. 1996 was weird, kids. 

I hate the way you talk to me

and the way you cut your hair

I hate the way you drive my car

I hate it when you stare 

I hate your big dumb combat boots 

and the way you read my mind 

I hate you so much, it makes me sick,

it even makes me rhyme

I hate the way you're always right

I hate it when you lie

I hate it when you make me laugh

even worse, when you make me cry

I hate it when you're not around

and the fact that you didn't call

But mostly, I hate that way that I don't hate you

Not even close

Not even a little bit

Not even at all 

It's TGIF!!! This week we reminisce about our favorite lovable geek and the family he forced to fall in love with him. 

Welcome to Bluffington. Today we hang out at the Honker Burger to chat about Doug and everybody's dream girl, Yoga Jones...er, I mean, Patti Mayonnaise. Doug aired on Nickelodeon from September 1991 - June 1994 and then on ABC (after being acquired by Disney) from September 1994 - June 1999. Ok, so Doug isn't the most exciting title character, but Roger sure is fun to hate on and who doesn't love a guy who journals??

Greetings Slurms! Welcome to Eureeka's Castle, a variety-style show with puppets and cartoons that aired on Nick Jr. from September 1989 until June of 1995. If you're remembering this show as an off-beat version of Sesame, you're not wrong. And don't worry, the head-writer said he thought kids lost IQ points while watching it. So that's great.

Welcome to episode 2! In this episode, we explore Dr. Seuss's 1990 book, Oh! The Places You'll Go!, which is often given to kiddos who are headed off to college. This was the last book published before Dr. Seuss's death in September of 1991. This episode is NOT two and a half hours long. You're welcome.

Welcome to the inaugural episode of our podcast! THIS is the movie that inspired the creation of As An Adult. I rented this from the library to watch with my kids (who were 5 and 3) and as the movie lurched on, and my kids' faces grew more and more confused and nervous...we had to shut it off.