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Balkan Sis

Balkan Sis

Ivana Strbac Alfonso
Société et Culture

Balkan Sis is a podcast rooted in truth, depth, and real conversation. Hosted by Ivana, this is a space where culture, identity, motherhood, relationships, trauma, mental health, wellness, ambition, power, business, and politics are explored honestly and without filters. Through intimate conversations and lived experience, Balkan Sis is a place to reflect, heal, and feel less alone. Here, stories are honoured, voices are heard, and nothing is off limits. Pull up a chair. You belong here.

82 - Pt. 2: "We'll Talk About Our Dreams, Never Our Feelings" Verone Percuku on Her Thesis, Sleep Hygiene, and Why the Balkans Fear Therapy
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  • 82 - Pt. 2: "We'll Talk About Our Dreams, Never Our Feelings" Verone Percuku on Her Thesis, Sleep Hygiene, and Why the Balkans Fear Therapy

    Pt. 2: "We'll Talk About Our Dreams, Never Our Feelings"Verone Percuku on Her Thesis, Sleep Hygiene, and Why the Balkans Fear Therapy

    Part two with Verone goes deeper into her actual thesis, Psychological and Cultural Dimensions of Dreams in the Balkans, why she chose the region, what the small Kosovo-based sample revealed, and why she's careful never to overclaim from a study this size. The dominant themes that came through were control, helplessness and social disorder rather than individual anxiety.

    We widen out into something every Balkan household will recognise, why people will happily chat about a strange dream over coffee, but the second you mention therapy, it's treated like an admission of being "crazy." Verone breaks down the stigma still sitting over mental health in Kosovo, why dreams feel safe to talk about and feelings don't.

    We also get practical: sleep hygiene, screen time, imagery rehearsal, and simple tools for remembering your dreams without needing a psychology degree. I share my mum's story of waking at 4am every morning for years without knowing why, until therapy connected it back to the exact time she fled during the war, and Verone unpacks what's actually happening there without romanticising "the body keeps the score." We close on where this research goes next, what her parents make of it all, and what she wants listeners to walk away with.


    ​Why Verone chose the Balkans for her thesis, sparked by a breakfast conversation with researchers from Serbia​Limitations of a small, mostly Kosovo-based sample, and why she avoids overclaiming from it​Dominant themes in the data: control, helplessness and social disorder, not individual anxiety​Why so many participants dropped off just trying to remember and log their dreams​Ivana's mum waking at 4am for years, and how therapy linked it to the exact time the family fled during the war​Why "the body keeps the score" is a good starting point but not the full picture​How ongoing hardship and financial stress shape dreaming, not just single traumatic events​Practical tools for better sleep and dream recall: journaling, voice notes, imagery rehearsal, less screen time before bed​Why some people struggle to fall asleep at all, and why sleep issues deserve individual, professional attention​Why people will talk about a strange dream over coffee, but therapy still carries deep stigma​The disconnect between being open about dreams and resistant to talking about feelings directly​What her parents made of her research, and explaining that psychology wasn't going to look like a private clinic​Where she sees this work going next, and her hopes for mental health in Kosovo​What she wants listeners to take away: get curious about your inner world, and don't fear an unconventional path


    "The body's not a second brain, there are no footage of memories being stored in our body."

    "People are more willing to say 'I saw a bad dream' than to say 'I need to talk about my feelings,' because the dream feels unrelated to reality."

    Verone Percuku is a Clinical and Community Psychology graduate from the University of Prishtina, born in Vushtrri, Kosovo. She's worked across mental health, education and civil society in Kosovo, including as Mental Health Projects Manager and later Vice Director at the Centre for Psycho-Social and Medical Research, and as an Educational Psychologist at BONEVET Prishtina. Her Master's thesis, Psychological and Cultural Dimensions of Dreams in the Balkans, explored dream content, personality, culture and history across the region.

    ​Instagram: instagram.com/verone.percuku​Facebook: facebook.com/veronepercuku​LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/veronë-perçuku



    Referenced in This Episode


    •Imagery Rehearsal Therapy: verywellmind.com/imagery-rehearsal-therapy-2797304

    •Dr. Nancy McWilliams: nancymcwilliams.com


    If Part 1 and 2 hit home, share them with a Balkan sister who needs to hear it, and leave a review, it genuinely helps more of us find each other.


    Tue, 22 Sep 2026 - 51min
  • 81 - Pt. 1: "I Dreamt a War I Never Lived" - The Dreams You Inherit: Verone Percuku on Growing Up After Kosovo's War

    Pt. 1: “I Dreamt a War I Never Lived”

    The Dreams You Inherit: Verone Percuku on Growing Up After Kosovo’s War

    Episode Description

    This week I sit down with Verone Percuku, a Clinical and Community Psychology graduate from the University of Prishtina. Verone was born in Vushtrri, Kosovo in 2000, just after the war ended, the youngest of four. She used to dream about the war, soldiers in the backyard, fighting in places she knew, despite having no memory of living through it at all.

    We start with little Verone, growing up in a house where her father, an Albanian teacher, never asked about her grades, and her mother, only ever allowed eight years of schooling herself, made education a mission for her kids. We talk about post-war Kosovo, a city with barely any electricity, and an atmosphere of ambition tangled with fear she says she inherited as emotion, not memory.

    Then we get into the dreams themselves. Why her brain built entire war scenes from newspapers and overheard conversations, why those dreams never scared her, and why in our culture the only dreams anyone shares are about death or teeth falling out, never the beautiful ones. I share a couple of my own too, including the dream I had about my brother the night before his accident. Verone breaks down what’s happening in the brain during REM sleep, and where science draws the line on what the rest of us call a premonition.

    In This Episode

    Growing up in Vushtrri, Kosovo, as the youngest of fourHer father the teacher who never asked about grades, her mother who made education a missionLife in post-war Kosovo: no electricity, tight community, ambition tangled with fearInheriting emotion without inheriting memoryRepression as the coping pattern of a generation without the tools to process what they carriedIvana’s parents’ trauma resurfacing after a house fire, and why trauma just “parks itself”The war dreams: soldiers in the backyard, built from newspapers and overheard conversationsWhy those dreams fascinated her instead of scaring herWanting to study psychology from age 12, before connecting it back to the dreamsThe cultural rule on which dreams are safe to share, and why nobody mentions the good onesIvana’s premonition dream about her brother, and her mum’s dream of her late brotherWhat’s happening in the brain during REM sleep, and why we remember some dreams and lose othersWhere science draws the line on premonitions, and holding room for both curiosity and evidence

    Standout Quotes

    “We don’t get to inherit a footage of other people’s memories. But we do get to inherit the way they approach life, and the atmosphere that creates.”

    “I have no memory of the war, but my brain was picking up pieces from the movies I was watching, the news, and all the conversations we had about it.”

    About Verone Percuku

    Verone Percuku is a Clinical and Community Psychology graduate from the University of Prishtina, born in Vushtrri, Kosovo. She’s worked across mental health, education and civil society in Kosovo, including as Mental Health Projects Manager and later Vice Director at the Centre for Psycho-Social and Medical Research, and as an Educational Psychologist at BONEVET Prishtina. Her Master’s thesis, Psychological and Cultural Dimensions of Dreams in the Balkans, explored dream content, personality, culture and history across the region.

    Referenced in This Episode

    Imagery Rehearsal Therapy: verywellmind.com/imagery-rehearsal-therapy-2797304Dr. Nancy McWilliams: nancymcwilliams.com

    Where to Find Verone

    Instagram: instagram.com/verone.percukuFacebook: facebook.com/veronepercukuLinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/veronë-perçuku

    Follow Balkan Sis

    Part 2 with Verone drops soon. If this hit home, share it with a Balkan sister who needs to hear it, and leave a review, it genuinely helps more of us find each other.

    Mon, 14 Sep 2026 - 1h 03min
  • 80 - 🎙️ Nobody Asked You: Why Does Everyone Have an Opinion on a Balkan Woman’s Life?

    This is a flashback episode — one close to my heart — with the OG Balkan Sis, Frankie, the friend who started Balkan Sis with me back when it was just the two of us. We talk about something every Balkan woman knows intimately: body shaming, the obsession with being skinny, and the "feedback" that comes with simply existing in — or being from — the Balkans.

    It kicks off with my own story: fresh from a funeral, in a dress I felt genuinely good in, asked twice within two hours whether I was pregnant. From there we get into the "jesi smršavela / jesi se udebljala" comments people fire off before they've even said hello, the double standard in how men's and women's bodies get talked about, why Balkan culture treats a woman's body like public property, and the patriarchy behind it. We talk about the moment I finally started clapping back instead of absorbing it, a run-in with a family friend who commented on my body while his own son sat downstairs, and why "well-meaning" comments land harder than people realize.

    Then it widens out: how the Balkan mentality boxes women in (skinny = good, overweight = lazy), what it's like building a business — like Frankie's yoga practice, Equilibrium Yoga Hub — in a culture that measures worth by doctor/lawyer/teacher, the pressure to have kids by a certain age, and why the diaspora can't outrun their culture no matter how hard they try. We close with five things we each love about Western culture, five about Balkan culture, and our book and podcast recs.


    IN THIS EPISODE• My funeral story: asked twice in two hours if I was pregnant• Why "did you lose/gain weight" is basically a Balkan greeting• Australia vs. the Balkans — the questions that come from near-strangers• Where it comes from: patriarchy, and skinny = good, overweight = lazy• The auntie I hadn't seen in 10 years, and "you gained weight" mid-hug• Learning to respond instead of absorb• The family friend who commented on my weight while his son sat downstairs• Why male bodies get celebrated while female bodies get scrutinized• Postpartum, miscarriage, infertility — not knowing what's behind a question• Owning the dumb things we've both said to other women in the past• Being unmarried/childless in your mid-30s and getting "categorised"• Frankie's yoga business and building something non-traditional in the Balkans• 5 things we love about Western vs. Balkan culture• Book & podcast recs: Women's Bodies Women's Wisdom, Conversations with God, Light Is the New Black, Untamed, Hold On to Your Kids, Motherkind, Dua Lipa: At Your Service


    QUOTES"Who cares? It's none of your business.""That's not something you say to a woman.""If you don't like my stomach, that's your problem. I'm a girl, I can't have a stomach?""Every time we say something like that, we're actually betraying ourselves." — Frankie


    ABOUT FRANKIE & EQUILIBRIUM YOGA HUBFrankie and I met in primary school in Australia 25+ years ago; she moved back to Zagreb to start her own family. She now runs Equilibrium Yoga Hub (eYoga Hub) in Zagreb — yoga, Pilates/yogilates, prenatal & postpartum programs, meditation & breathwork, sound baths & sound massage, cacao ceremonies, energy treatments, workshops & events. A supportive, community-first space for mind, spirit and body.


    Website: eyogahub.comTimetable: eyogahub.com/studioyogaSound healing: eyogahub.com/sound-massageEvents: eyogahub.com/eventsBlog: eyogahub.com/blogYouTube: youtube.com/@eyogahubInstagram: @eyogahubFacebook: facebook.com/1618966898429013All links: linktr.ee/eyogahub


    FIND ME / BALKAN SISInstagram: @ivanastrbacalfonsoFacebook / Twitter / LinkedIn: search "Ivana Strbac Alfonso"Balkan Sis on Facebook: @balkansispodcast


    If this one hit home, send it to a Balkan sister who needs to hear it, and leave a review — it helps more of us find each other.


    Mon, 07 Sep 2026 - 1h 04min
  • 79 - Five Lifetimes in One: Drita Haziraj on War, Motherhood and Starting Over

    This week on Balkan Sis, I sit down with Drita Haziraj — a woman who has lived about five lifetimes in one. Drita survived the siege of Sarajevo as a teenager, spent decades as a radio and TV journalist in Bosnia (Radio Free Europe, Radio Stari Grad, Radio FERN, Radio BiH), and in 2004 created and hosted Naša Realnost (Our Reality), a humanitarian TV show that raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for families in need. She rebuilt her life from scratch in the US as a single mother of two, became a licensed Illinois real estate broker, and now hosts her own podcast, Realno with Drita Haziraj.

    We go back to little Drita growing up in Pale, outside Sarajevo, before the war changed everything, and into what four years under siege actually looked like as a teenager — no electricity, rationed food, snipers, and becoming the person who kept her family fed and safe. She talks about finding her voice by calling into a local radio station during the war to read her own poetry, breaking into a career that was very much a boys' club, and the story that pushed her from radio into television. We talk about how Naša Realnost grew into something far bigger than she planned, and the hard moments that eventually pushed her to leave everything and start again in America — three jobs, thirteen rented homes, and the pride of finally signing the loan on a home that was hers. It's a conversation about war, motherhood, reinvention, and what "realno" — real — actually means.


    In This Episode

    Growing up in Pale before the war, and being the self-described "rebel" of the familySurviving four years under siege as a teenager, and becoming her family's lifelineWanting to study theology, being turned away for being Muslim, and finding journalism insteadReading wartime poetry on local radio, and breaking into a career that was a boys' clubThe story that shifted her from radio into televisionHow Naša Realnost grew into one of Bosnia's most recognised humanitarian TV showsTouring Australia and raising over $100,000 AUD for families back homeLosing her mother, and leaving Bosnia to start over in the US as a single mother of twoWorking three jobs, getting her real estate license, and signing the loan on her first homeHer sons' very different experiences adjusting to AmericaLaunching Realno with Drita Haziraj, and wanting women to support each other's work


    Standout Quotes"War taught me to be so grateful for everything. I wouldn't change that experience, because now I can compare what I had, or didn't have, to how blessed I am.""For an immigrant, buying a home isn't really about the property. It's about the process — that you even get the chance to apply.""When you're a journalist, you're a journalist your whole life. You bring that into everything you do."


    About Drita HazirajDrita survived the siege of Sarajevo as a teenager, spent decades as a radio and TV journalist in Bosnia, and in 2004 created Naša Realnost (Our Reality), a humanitarian TV program. She rebuilt her life in the US as a single mother of two, became a licensed Illinois real estate broker, and now hosts Realno with Drita Haziraj.


    Where to Find DritaRealno Podcast: realnopodcast.com, and on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, iHeartRadio and YouTube

    (search "Realno sa Dritom Haziraj").

    Instagram: @dritadidahazirajReal estate: Chase Real Estate, Naperville IL (chasebroker.com)Charity: Naša Realnost / Our Reality (ourreality-nasarealnostnfp.godaddysites.com)Support the podcast: buymeacoffee.com/realnopodcast/membership


    Mon, 31 Aug 2026 - 1h 27min
  • 78 - Violeta Gordeljevic, Parenting Science Expert: "You Can Do Hard Things"

    Today's guest is a scientist and a mum who got sick of the same thing most of us have felt scrolling parenting Instagram at 2am. Everyone with an opinion, nobody with a source. Violeta Gordeljevic, parenting science expert, spent years working in public health for governments and global organisations before she had her own baby and realised nobody was translating any of that research for parents. So she built The Parenting Class herself, now reaching over 330,000 people who come to her for one thing, actual evidence.

    We go right back to little Violeta, born in Bosnia, two years old when her family left in 1992 to join her father in Germany, where he'd been working as a coal miner. We talk about growing up shy and sensitive in a tight multicultural community, becoming the nerdy teenager who discovered the library and never left, and the moment Sunday school turned her into a lifelong questioner of everything, including the old wives' tales her own mother swore by.

    From there we follow her into public health, into a decade working on environmental health policy across seven or eight countries, into meeting her Indonesian partner, and into the shower in her Berlin apartment where the idea for The Parenting Class was born while her newborn slept on the couch. We get into the real, unfiltered version of building a business while raising two kids, and why she moved her whole family to Indonesia to make sure her children grow up connected to both sides of their heritage.

    We talk temperament, and why there's no such thing as a good baby or a bad baby. We talk screens, and the real difference between a curated cartoon and handing a toddler an algorithm. We talk about the wildly different parenting cultures she's lived inside, hands off playgrounds in Germany versus hovering in Australia versus a village of aunties, and how she's learned to trust her own values over whichever culture she's standing in.


    In this episode:

    Little Violeta, born in Bosnia, raised in Germany from age twoThe moment questioning the Bible in Sunday school got her called a non-believerStudying business first, then finding her real passion in public healthThe Berlin shower where The Parenting Class was bornBuilding 160 videos and 15 hours of content over five yearsTemperament, and why the same approach can fail completely on a different kidMoving to Indonesia to connect her kids to their father's heritageRaising two kids across English, Serbian, German and IndonesianSchooling in Germany versus JakartaPlayground culture across three countriesScreens, algorithms, and the one rule to set on day oneThe permission slip she'd give every mum listening


    Find Violeta Gordeljevic at @violeta.parenting.science and www.theparentingscience.com.

    Find Ivana Strbac Alfonso and Balkan Sis at @balkansispodcast, or ivana.alfonso@hotmail.com.


    Until next time, this has been Balkan Sis. Love, Ivana.

    Tue, 25 Aug 2026 - 1h 29min
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