lara's hype eng

501. Below the Baseboard from lara's hype eng vol. AF. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/501 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/587 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Two constants that will floor me every time Small talk and a non-native accent on the line Brain starts processing the phonemes, processing the style What comes out is what came in — mirrored, word for word [Verse 2] Topics going nowhere, syllables gone strange Brain is burning through its budget, so it rearranges I can hear myself and something isn't right That's a mirror with an accent speaking for me tonight [Chorus] Below the baseboard Every language, below the baseboard Small talk plus a foreign accent — I go mute I cannot stand to hear myself in these moments [Verse 3] I had something I could say but the brain already quit It just mirrors back the input, doesn't care a bit Content, style, phonetics — all of it returns I'm in here somewhere, but the signal never turns [Chorus] Below the baseboard Every language, below the baseboard Small talk plus a foreign accent — I go mute I cannot stand to hear myself in these moments [Outro] Hear myself Cannot

492. Fat Chance from lara's hype eng vol. AE. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/492 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/578 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Another day I want to be a librarian Or an archivist, doesn't matter which Somewhere quiet enough to think a sentence Where people don't make static in my brain Either because there's no one there Or because they're exactly like me [Verse 2] A bookbinder, a keeper, anyone Who doesn't have to explain why they're done Where there are card catalogs and dust on shelves And nobody pings the group chat just to ping [Chorus] We're burning out — yeah right, fat chance Nope We're burning out — don't hold your breath Nope We're not going dark anywhere We're just quiet Nope [Bridge] Just like me Quiet like me The kind that doesn't flicker Just like me [Chorus] We're burning out — yeah right, fat chance Nope We're burning out — don't hold your breath Nope We're not going dark anywhere We're just quiet Nope

486. The Thorn from lara's hype eng vol. AE. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/486 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/572 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Three-cent captain's wisdom, obvious and true: want a thing done, do the thing — who knew? To-do list built on nerves, to-do list built on dread, enough to keep me busy till I'm dead. [Verse 2] End of a packed day, normal people pour the wine, cue the movie, lay the dominos in line. I'm scrubbing metal primer off my hands and off my face, then spray the second coat — the neighbours get a taste. [Chorus] God, where is the button, the one that pulls the thorn out of my side? Spat into the world with a bundle of neuroses — continuous activity until I die. The thorn. The thorn. The thorn. Where's the button? [Bridge] Movies, wine, and dominos — that's not me, that's not tonight. But the second coat will go on even, and the neighbours will appreciate it. Eventually. [Chorus] God, where is the button, the one that pulls the thorn out of my side? Spat into the world with a bundle of neuroses — continuous activity until I die. The thorn. The thorn. The thorn. Where's the button?

479. In the Archive from lara's hype eng vol. AD. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/479 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/565 Lyrics: [Verse 1] More and more I feel it: my place is in the archive. Living in time that already passed, nobody rushing anywhere. You're free to spend your minutes the way the universe intended — yours alone. Working with eternity, the infinite corpus, packing it all into a system. [Chorus] Fast, fast, dirty, good enough, need it yesterday, just give me something. God, it makes me sick. God, it makes me sick. [Verse 2] Dissect it, turn it over, every angle, no fear of missing out, no clock. Progress breaks the system far less than once a second. And here — it's quiet. The archive holds. Infinity is shelved right here, and no one screams "I needed this last week." Here I am. [Chorus] Fast, fast, dirty, good enough, need it yesterday, just give me something. God, it makes me sick. God, it makes me sick. [Outro] Personal minutes. Eternity. The corpus. Nobody rushing anywhere.

478. Four Stars, Free Parking from lara's hype eng vol. AD. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/478 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/564 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Three years untangling my father's death — it's a genre with no proper name. Black British comedy, season four, no finale, just another claim. Amsterdam, bureaucratic need, I need a funeral home today. So I open Google Maps and I start to scroll away. [Chorus] By the reviews on the map. By the reviews on the map. Four stars, friendly staff, convenient parking out back. By the reviews on the map. [Verse 2] Someone wrote: "Handled everything fast." Someone wrote: "Dignified, no complaints." I'm scrolling down to check for red flags like I'm picking a place for brunch. When this is finally over — first I'll cry it out properly. Then maybe write the novel. For now: the next call to make. [Chorus] By the reviews on the map. By the reviews on the map. Four stars, friendly staff, convenient parking out back. By the reviews on the map. [Outro] Three years. That's the genre.

472. The Dacha Study from lara's hype eng vol. AD. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/472 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/558 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Instagram got killed, yeah, I know, move on But moments like this I feel the absence Everything in its square, nothing extra Just what you need and room to breathe in [Verse 2] The desk is finally starting to get there Beginning to hold its own, beginning to matter Comparable — almost — to the dacha study Almost is not nothing, almost is close [Chorus] Organising the space Nothing calms me down like organising the space Everything necessary Nothing left over Just the space [Bridge] They tore it down, rebuilt it, moved me on But the dacha study held the standard You reach for it through all the noise Comparable — somehow Somehow [Chorus] Organising the space Nothing calms me down like organising the space Everything necessary Nothing left over Just the space

470. Tighten It Up from lara's hype eng vol. AD. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/470 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/556 Lyrics: [Verse 1] For years I've had one rule about a café: the teapot spout should never drip or pour. Not precious, just a working theory — mechanics tell you what a place is for. Then the Netherlands gave me a second metric: bathroom faucet wobbling on its base. Some kind of epidemic, I don't know it, but I keep clocking it from place to place. [Chorus] Tighten it up, tighten it up, those goddamn faucets. I want to carry wrenches in my bag and tighten it up. [Verse 2] I don't rate a café by the menu — I check what drips and what wobbles loose. Honest hardware beats a nice interior, a rattling tap won't try to sell you a ruse. I could let it go, I know I should, but I can't just stand there watching it shake. Two wrenches in my pocket — that's almost a civic stance, for everyone's sake. [Chorus] Tighten it up, tighten it up, those goddamn faucets. I want to carry wrenches in my bag and tighten it up. [Outro] Spout doesn't drip. Faucet doesn't wobble. Place approved.

468. The Den from lara's hype eng vol. AD. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/468 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/554 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Built myself a proper desk at last Still needs lacquer, still needs cable runs Curtains aren't designed yet, chairs aren't bought The wardrobe didn't make the frame — but it exists [Verse 2] This room is almost what I want it to be Almost is honest, almost counts for real The cables lie exactly where they fell The lacquer's waiting for a better week [Chorus] A proper desk A proper desk Everything else is still a list The wardrobe's out of frame The wardrobe's out of frame But it's there [Bridge] Full den status — not quite yet That's after lacquer, curtains, chairs But the desk is done And that's enough to sit down and start [Chorus] A proper desk A proper desk Everything else is still a list The wardrobe's out of frame The wardrobe's out of frame But it's there

435. Vent Window from lara's hype eng vol. AB. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/435 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/551 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Killed the feed, closed every tab Same three thoughts on the same worn track Small human life, small human loop Same one and a half answers, same questions on cue [Verse 2] Productivity up, anxiety down Fair trade, I know exactly what I found Nothing new blowing in through the wall But the old unfinished things are finally getting done at all [Chorus] I'll crack a vent window for new ideas Just a little bit later When the main stuff is finished And I've had a rest I'll crack a vent window for new ideas Just a little bit later For now — around, around, around [Bridge] The flip side of the medal Is just the flip side Not the bottom, not a dead end Just — quiet [Chorus] I'll crack a vent window for new ideas Just a little bit later When the main stuff is finished And I've had a rest I'll crack a vent window for new ideas Just a little bit later For now — around, around, around

433. Fine-Tuning the Household from lara's hype eng vol. AB. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/433 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/549 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Steady routines — mine and the kids' Everything in its place, nothing slipping through the grid Work that holds and sharpens at the same time Not happiness in general — this specific kind is mine The hours go to fine-tuning the household The near-professional reading stays in queue The perception muscle waits its turn patiently But even at the current load — I'm doing good [Chorus] Never again make the system so complex That the life inside it stops feeling like mine Never again Not a slogan — a reminder I run every day [Verse 2] The feeling that I'm living someone else's life It's gone now — sounds simple, wasn't simple The reading range can widen a little later First — make sure the system doesn't eat the one who built it [Chorus] Never again make the system so complex That the life inside it stops feeling like mine Never again Not a slogan — a reminder I run every day [Outro] Fine-tuning the household Fine-tuning the household For now — that's it

431. Long-Legged Fawn from lara's hype eng vol. AA. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/431 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/547 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Happy little fawn with the long long legs Ran out the door, didn't look back once And I'm standing in the hallway holding logistics Not sure how both of these fit in one chest [Verse 2] This much love and this much tired No gap between them, no breath, no pause I'm building, building, building the infrastructure And the warmth keeps getting scheduled for later [Chorus] When do I just — give warmth, give lightness Instead of only the load-bearing walls When do I just — share wonder, not a plan The fawn ran off The fawn ran off [Bridge] Evening spleen, parental inadequacy — Sounds like a diagnosis for an ordinary Tuesday He ran off laughing I stayed here with this [Chorus] When do I just — give warmth, give lightness Instead of only the load-bearing walls When do I just — share wonder, not a plan The fawn ran off The fawn ran off [Outro] The fawn ran off The fawn ran off

426. 174 Years from lara's hype eng vol. AA. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/426 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/541 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Bought my kid a Pokémon shirt, don't ask It arrived with a label that knocked me thirty years back My mom wore that font, that stitch, that exact same tag One hundred and seventy-four years and they're still in the bag [Chorus] God, give us fewer tyrannies Fewer revolutions, more laundry tags So great-great-grandma and the kid in the Pokémon shirt Are wearing the same thing [Verse 2] She was somewhere, some city, some year I can't name She didn't know about Pikachuand she didn't know my name But she knew this thread, this label scratching the back of the neck One hundred and seventy-four years, still holding, still in check [Chorus] God, give us fewer tyrannies Fewer revolutions, more laundry tags So great-great-grandma and the kid in the Pokémon shirt Are wearing the same thing [Outro] Don't ask Just a label Just one hundred and seventy-four years Just — give us fewer

418. Everything In Its Place from lara's hype eng vol. AA. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/418 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/533 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Somebody else's things on every shelf Unpredictable objects, not mine The fridge was full of static in my head I couldn't cross that line More than three steps — gone More than three ingredients — done Tear the packet open and eat Boil the kettle and eat Crack the egg on the pan edge and eat [Chorus] Four days now, everything in its place Four days now, I'm chopping a salad, calm Frying chicken, making pancakes For me, for my kid, not for guests I haven't had this in years When I figured it out — I was floored [Verse 2] Other people's stuff is not a small thing It's interference, it's noise, it's a wall You can't concentrate when the fridge holds Something that isn't yours at all You can't cook a meal When your head is someone else's hall [Chorus] Four days now, everything in its place Four days now, I'm chopping a salad, calm Frying chicken, making pancakes For me, for my kid, not for guests I haven't had this in years When I figured it out — I was floored [Outro] Autistic chronicles, apparently Apparently

415. Unfolding from lara's hype eng vol. Z. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/415 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/529 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Strange twenty-four hours — reflective, a little sad But busy anyway Starting to unfold back into my own shape Into my own space — finally Haven't felt this in so many years So many years This is the baseline Damn near impossible to live without it [Chorus] Unfolding — into mine Unfolding — into me This is the baseline How hard it is without it, honestly Unfolding — into mine Unfolding — into me [Verse 2] Happiest day I've had in a while — there's the paradox Sad and happy at the same time Like my body just remembered where its edges are And isn't rushing to give them up I want to learn to never lose this again Never again Not lose this Don't know how yet — but I want to [Chorus] Unfolding — into mine Unfolding — into me This is the baseline How hard it is without it, honestly Unfolding — into mine Unfolding — into me [Outro] Starting to unfold Starting to

412. To Anne Frank from lara's hype eng vol. Z. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/412 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/526 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I'll see my darling any day now He charges forward like a tank I'll pull him out of Sunday service Walk him straight to Anne Frank [Verse 2] In Amsterdam they're all berserkers Some are high and some are drank Pull him out of Sunday service Walk him straight to Anne Frank [Chorus] Couplet battle Score: one to nil My Manosque darling Got the kill To Anne Frank To Anne Frank Please fly in again, please [Bridge] I lost by a landslide Best thing that happened all night Berserkers, drank, a church, a tank To Anne Frank [Chorus] Couplet battle Score: one to nil My Manosque darling Got the kill To Anne Frank To Anne Frank Please fly in again 🤍

409. Same Thought, New Tab from lara's hype eng vol. Z. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/409 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/523 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Finite set of thoughts looping, looping through my life no more threads, no more rants — just drop a link, cite the ID Like that old joke about old jokes: every punchline has a number room goes quiet, someone calls it nobody has to say a word [Chorus] ID, ID link me the ID ruminating, ruminating the same thing from every angle ID, ID cluster me semantically and track the diffs if there are any [Verse 2] Pull every post since the beginning from every platform, every era find the diffs — or don't find them that's the part that stings Presumption: I have changed I'm not who I was last year but the database says nothing and the ID is the same [Chorus] ID, ID link me the ID ruminating, ruminating the same thing from every angle ID, ID cluster me semantically and track the diffs if there are any [Outro] or sad if there aren't those diffs

404. Context Switch from lara's hype eng vol. Z. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/404 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/518 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Mornings — kid and bull terrier, hands are full Deep thoughts can't compete with that particular pull Daytimes — deep work only, do not break the flow Context switch mid-focus is a special kind of low [Chorus] Stack overflow, stack overflow One free window weekly and it's already full Stack overflow, stack overflow It's not you, it's me — it's the context switch [Verse 2] Evenings — kid and bull terrier again, same drill By the time the house is quiet I've lost the will Somewhere in the backlog is your thoughtful note I wrote a half-reply inside my head and never wrote [Chorus] Stack overflow, stack overflow One free window weekly and it's already full Stack overflow, stack overflow It's not you, it's me — it's the context switch [Bridge — flat, direct] Sorry if I'm quiet I read it, I swear, just couldn't land Sorry if I'm quiet The bull terrier won't wait Sorry if I'm quiet This is my design, not a reprimand [Outro] Stack overflow Stack overflow It's not you

401. 7mm from lara's hype eng vol. Z. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/401 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/515 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Eight o'clock, drill out, unsplittable concrete wall Swapped the frames to match the floor and the shelf edge, that's all Old holes are off by seven millimetres flat So I'm drilling three new ones, dust in my teeth for that [Verse 2] Needs to be stained, needs to line up with the edge Nobody asked, nobody'll notice, I know — but I said Seven millimetres isn't a margin of error It's a diagnosis [Chorus] In some other life I'd be moving pixels Front-end dev, clean grid, no grit But I'm here in concrete at eight in the evening Seven millimetres won't let me quit [Bridge — quiet, almost spoken] Because the frames have to match the floor And the floor has to match the shelf edge And the shelf edge has to match the frames And something somewhere has to line up right [Chorus] In some other life I'd be moving pixels Front-end dev, clean grid, no grit But I'm here in concrete at eight in the evening Seven millimetres won't let me quit [Outro] Three new holes Frames level Seven millimetres Gone

400. Subscribe to This from lara's hype eng vol. Z. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/400 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/512 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Six years old, Dutch classmate at the door, came herself, nobody asked her to. Door clicks shut, two hours on the floor, talking about something I half follow through. Something's happening in there — not my business, not a single "Mum" or "Dad," not needed. [Chorus] Can I subscribe to this? Can I subscribe, please? Door is closed, world is fine, they're in there without me. [Verse 2] Maybe that's the argument — have another one, so there's someone to close the door on and stay inside. The moments when they all want something — I'd rather not think about that, I'd rather not think about that, not think. [Chorus] Can I subscribe to this? Can I subscribe, please? Door is closed, world is fine, they're in there without me. [Outro] Two hours. Half of it in Dutch. Not calling.

399. The Photo Is Fresh from lara's hype eng vol. Y. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/399 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/510 Lyrics: [Verse 1] A year ago — a repost, a listing, a pane of glass. Somebody stole it, somebody sold it, standard as. Furshtatskaya Street, School 239, my great-great-gran's old block. I couldn't save my own — so I dropped this one in the chat. [Verse 2] The seller went quiet. Pulled the listing. Disappeared. Months of nothing. Then he surfaced again. Motl, Danya, Tatyana — bought it between three. Too cold to install it. They waited. They waited. [Chorus] Small acts are finished — everyone says so. But the stained glass is back in the school. The photo is fresh. The world came apart and this still got done. The world came apart — and this still got done. [Bridge — quieter, almost spoken] Work that you love. People who are exact. A stained-glass window found on a secondhand app. I'm not promising anything else. [Chorus] Small acts are finished — everyone says so. But the stained glass is back in the school. The photo is fresh. The world came apart and this still got done. The world came apart — and this still got done.

394. Tsunami Wall from lara's hype eng vol. Y. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/394 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/505 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Hit post — and everything contracts Sand beneath my feet, the wall is coming fast Network kicks in, the funnel spins up Multi-threaded, cross-platform, running hot [Verse 2] Two, three weeks at the top of the funnel Strangers from the network, the right result Settled now — but something got hollowed No energy left, and that's not a metaphor [Chorus] Tsunami wall — I'm standing on the sand Tsunami wall — they showed up, it got done Tsunami wall — we landed where we planned Now I'm done talking Just done talking Done [Bridge — quiet, almost spoken] I got incredibly lucky with people But people drink every last drop I got incredibly lucky with people But quiet now. Quiet. Quiet. [Chorus] Tsunami wall — I'm standing on the sand Tsunami wall — they showed up, it got done Tsunami wall — we landed where we planned Now I'm done talking Just done talking Done

387. Green Farfalle from lara's hype eng vol. Y. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/387 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/497 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Green ones — out. Only yellow, only orange. Kid has spoken, that's the law. Genetics, man. Genetics. Fifteen years I sorted washers, screws and bolts and nails and fittings — by size, by type, by color, by box. I thought I was ready for anything. [Chorus] Green farfalle — off the plate. Yellow stays, orange stays, green goes. Nothing in my life prepared me for this. Nothing in my life prepared me for this. [Verse 2] Washers — separate. Screws — separate. Bolts, nails, fittings — every box, every category, clean. Fifteen years of training. I thought: this is mastery. And then — farfalle. Green ones — out. [Chorus] Green farfalle — off the plate. Yellow stays, orange stays, green goes. Nothing in my life prepared me for this. Nothing in my life prepared me for this. [Outro] Genetics, man. Genetics.

384. Burn It Down from lara's hype eng vol. Y. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/384 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/494 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Well the shed burned down Might as well burn the house Posted on LinkedIn Posted on Facebook too Let's see what it does Let's see what it does [Verse 2] If you know someone hiring For anything relevant — Share it, pass it on If you can, if you want I'd really appreciate it Let's see what it does [Chorus] Shed's already gone — burn the house down Everything's on fire anyway Shed's already gone — burn the house down Let's see what it does Let's see what it does [Bridge] No plan, no strategy Just — here are the posts Just — here I am Let's see [Chorus] Shed's already gone — burn the house down Everything's on fire anyway Shed's already gone — burn the house down Let's see what it does Let's see what it does

376. The Long Way Round from lara's hype eng vol. X. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/376 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/481 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I'm heading for my balance point — not in a straight line, no. The series of unchosen circumstances keeps jamming detours in my route. Intercalary. Switchbacks. Off-road through the middle of nowhere. I would not have picked this path myself. But I'm walking. [Chorus] The streak, the streak, the uninvited streak — you keep throwing people into my life. Incredible ones. Wrong timing. Exactly right. Through the middle of nowhere — to the point. Still to the point. [Verse 2] In the interest of fairness — I want to remind myself today: that same series of unchosen circumstances I never ordered, never asked for, keeps delivering someone who helps in all the different ways that matter. Not scheduled. Not requested. Just — here. [Chorus] The streak, the streak, the uninvited streak — you keep throwing people into my life. Incredible ones. Wrong timing. Exactly right. Through the middle of nowhere — to the point. Still to the point. [Outro] Thank you, streak. And thank you, every single one of you, friends.

375. Aerospace Software from lara's hype eng vol. X. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/375 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/480 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Every conversation gets a pre-conversation A script for what they ask and a script for silence too This is time. It isn't mine. I'm spending it on you when I want it for something true [Verse 2] I'd have a middling PhD gathering dust by now Staff engineer, aerospace software, doing fine Instead I'm at the mirror running lines Practicing how to say I'm uncomfortable without losing my mind [Chorus] Dear universe Give me the strength to reach the point Where I don't have to talk this much Just strength. That's all. A dissertation. Or at least some quiet. [Bridge - quiet, almost spoken] I'm not asking you to cancel people I'm asking to stop preparing for them Like an exam I keep showing up for and never pass [Chorus] Dear universe Give me the strength to reach the point Where I don't have to talk this much Just strength. That's all. Aerospace software.

374. Downstream from lara's hype eng vol. X. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/374 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/479 Lyrics: [Verse 1] To-do list longer than the night Every item is a debt I owe But if you wait long enough some of them just go Downstream Without you [Verse 2] Since March I kept avoiding one thing Never solved it — it solved itself I don't know if that counts as winning But I checked the box Quietly [Chorus] Downstream Downstream Some of those items won't wait for you Discount the anxiety you'll forget again Downstream down [Bridge — quiet, almost spoken] I keep forgetting this rule Then I remember Only when it's too late to worry [Chorus] Downstream Downstream Some of those items won't wait for you Discount the anxiety you'll forget again Downstream down

373. Vape Under the Drain from lara's hype eng vol. X. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/373 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/478 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I walked to the market, stopped at the gate There are vendors in there and you have to engage Simple errand, no stakes, nothing riding on this But my feet won't move and I can't make a fist I bought the strawberries — someone else asked me to When it's just for myself there's an exit I use God bless the internet, god bless the app God bless the checkout where nobody claps [Chorus] But yesterday — vape down a storm drain in the street Half of Tbilisi on their knees, laughing, complete That's the version of a person I want to be Not this, not this Not all of this [Verse 2] Different psychological configuration, those girls No internal tribunal, they just handled it I stood at a spice stall like it cost me the world Whole negotiation, and I never submitted I'm so tired of the tension I carry around In situations with nothing actually at stake But the vape-drain girls — that's not judgment, that's want I just want to know how to move like that [Chorus] But yesterday — vape down a storm drain in the street Half of Tbilisi on their knees, laughing, complete That's the version of a person I want to be Not this, not this Not all of this [Outro] The spices are still on the shelf I'm still standing here Still standing here

371. Solvable from lara's hype eng vol. X. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/371 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/476 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Tons of logic, spreadsheets, plans — all of it held together fine until the phone rang. One sentence — and the calibration's gone. Cold shower. No water. [Verse 2] All those sharp emotions — sure, they were there. Now they're just tasks on a list. Not erased — repositioned. That's what landing actually feels like. [Chorus] Take care of the people you love. Everything else is just tasks. Solvable. Solvable. Solvable. [Bridge] No rational argument does this. One call. One second. And you're a different person standing in the same room. [Chorus] Take care of the people you love. Everything else is just tasks. Solvable. Solvable. Solvable. [Outro] Solvable. Solvable. Solvable.

368. Watch Your Step from lara's hype eng vol. X. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/368 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/473 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Tbilisi won't let you stare at glass — cobblestones, staircases, sudden drops, every courtyard is a small ambush, every downhill says put the phone away. [Verse 2] Nose in the screen and you're already down, neck snapped, city didn't wait. But now you're looking: colour on colour, rough edge on rough edge, all the way. [Chorus] Break your neck — or actually see it. All the loud and ragged urban beauty. Break your neck — or actually see it. Tbilisi doesn't ask if you're ready. [Bridge] Visual perception isn't a metaphor here — it's just: don't fall. The beautiful is a side effect of pavement that never quite levelled out. [Chorus] Break your neck — or actually see it. All the loud and ragged urban beauty. Break your neck — or actually see it. Phone in your pocket. Watch where you go.

366. Behavioral from lara's hype eng vol. W. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/366 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/471 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Two behavioral interviews, two times out the door They want relocation, they pay less than what I make now The technical pipeline was the hard part, the relevant part Good training ground, thanks, glad that's over [Verse 2] I still don't get what behavioral is actually for Not conceptually — I get it — but in practice, what's the score I can't smooth-talk my way through situational on the fly That's not how I behave, it's how I fail to describe why [Chorus] Bureaucratic ambiguity pending successful outcome of proceedings But I'm really glad Bureaucratic ambiguity But I'm really glad [Bridge] Passed my second-ever system design Dream company, second time in my life out of two Loaded up on search theory, reranking, the whole stack Tbilisi for a few days and I'm not preparing for anything [Verse 3] Rare moment — nothing due, no mock interview tonight Just a backlog of urgent tasks I ignored during the fight I get to choose which ones to actually touch Tbilisi in the sun and honestly that's enough [Chorus] Bureaucratic ambiguity pending successful outcome of proceedings But I'm really glad Bureaucratic ambiguity But I'm really glad

363. Drop Your Jaw from lara's hype eng vol. W. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/363 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/468 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I've trained every muscle, I know my own body Hundreds of reps, every fibre accounted But the orthodontist says open up, let go And everything I know gets discounted [Verse 2] My jaw is the last line, not a wall, just a habit Not willpower, not courage — just nerve and reflex He moves it, I clench it, he moves it, I clench it He says just relax and I completely forget [Chorus] Drop your jaw Let somebody else Drop your jaw This should be easy — it's not Trained my whole life Can't surrender an inch Drop your jaw Drop your jaw [Bridge] Not a marathon Not a plank hold Not staying quiet in a difficult room Just — stop driving Just — let go The hardest physical task I have ever been shown [Chorus] Drop your jaw Let somebody else Drop your jaw This should be easy — it's not Trained my whole life Can't surrender an inch Drop your jaw Drop your jaw [Outro] Greetings from the orthodontist

360. First A in Forty Years from lara's hype eng vol. W. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/360 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/465 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Hard week, no sleep, a long walk with a friend Hadn't seen him in years, now here we are again Grabbed my keys, got my bag, walked out the door Made it down the stairs — then stopped on the floor [Verse 2] Body said: lie down I can't remember ever turning back Once I'm in the groove, I stay in the track But this time I noticed — skis weren't gliding right I caught it myself, before the crash tonight [Chorus] Turned the skis around Unpacked the bag, got undressed, lay down Opened up a book First A in forty years In a row of Fs [Bridge] The hacker safehouse Can wait The instruments aren't smoking yet I saw it coming This time I saw it [Chorus] Turned the skis around Unpacked the bag, got undressed, lay down Opened up a book First A in forty years In a row of Fs

358. Scream Three Times from lara's hype eng vol. W. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/358 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/463 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I want to scream in here three times a day Every day, every day — but let's mix it up Two books before bed so the sleep will come So you can run from reality for an hour or so [Verse 2] English, French, or Russian — anything goes If you've got something in that vein, drop it in Out of desperation I picked up some Foster A love novel from the death rattle of the Victorian age — yeah [Chorus] Scream three times, escape the day Turns out the English do mysteries better Than they do romance — yeah Scream three times, just get away Detectives beat lovers — yeah [Bridge] Content plan needs variety Two books, three languages Out of options — Foster Yeah [Chorus] Scream three times, escape the day Turns out the English do mysteries better Than they do romance — yeah Scream three times, just get away Detectives beat lovers — yeah

357. Part One, Part Two, Part Three from lara's hype eng vol. W. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/357 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/462 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I'm unlocking my lexical snobbery today, had it holstered for years, never found the words to say. Maro wrote it calmly, wrote it thoroughly, part one, part two, part three — I'm just dropping you the links. [Verse 2] Diminutives — the little suffixes that soften everything, the small words that make hard things feel like nothing. She had time to write it all down, clearly, completely. I want these texts to outlive the time she was given. [Chorus] Part one, part two, part three — calm and precise and free. Small words that carry the weight. Live longer than your date. Live longer than your date. [Bridge] Never got around to it — that's not the same as never. Never got around to it — that's almost, almost, almost. Maro got around to it. I'm posting the link. [Chorus] Part one, part two, part three — calm and precise and free. Small words that carry the weight. Live longer than your date. Live longer than your date.

351. Event Management (This Is My Grave) from lara's hype eng vol. V. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/351 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/455 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Thirteen kids, five and six years old All screaming at the same time, nobody's controlled I survived the planning, I survived the day Now my brain is already looking for ways to escape [Verse 2] Options: get sick, leave the country, cease to exist Brain is pitching fast, I'm writing down the list May is done, I close it — open up next year There's already a reminder. Oh no. It's still there. [Chorus] Event management, this is my grave Event management, this is my grave Thirteen times times six years old and somehow I'm still breathing Event management, this is my grave [Bridge] Not a behavioral interview Not a stress test, not a trial run Just children, just thirteen of them just you alone and the cake is on the floor and next year has already started [Chorus] Event management, this is my grave Event management, this is my grave Brain keeps offering exit strategies I keep nodding Event management, this is my grave

349. Keep Them From the Wheel from lara's hype eng vol. V. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/349 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/453 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Let the moment come and let it hold — truly never again, that's the goal. A heavy day, a necessary weight, especially in times like these, especially this late. I want to remember that human catastrophe and not look away from the one happening now. No heroism in it — just keeping your eyes open when everything in you says don't. [Chorus] Keep them from the wheel, keep them from the wheel. A handful of psychopaths is not a law of nature. Keep them from the wheel, keep them from the wheel. Living long enough to see it — that's also a plan. [Verse 2] People's lives above political ambition. I know how that sounds, I know it sounds naive. But someone has to survive to the moment when that's not a dream — it's just how things are. Remembering doesn't mean you're stuck. Not looking away doesn't mean you break. A heavy day, a necessary weight. Especially in times like these. [Chorus] Keep them from the wheel, keep them from the wheel. A handful of psychopaths is not a law of nature. Keep them from the wheel, keep them from the wheel. Living long enough to see it — that's also a plan. [Outro] Let it come soon. Truly never again. Let it come soon.

348. The Box from lara's hype eng vol. V. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/348 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/452 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Today of all days I want someone to tuck me inside a box lined with something soft and warm and tell me very convincingly: when you come out — you'll be fine [Verse 2] But no box for me no box, no parental figure no guaranteed success The Arctic Ocean of reality nobody pre-warmed it [Chorus] Keep swimming butterfly keep swimming butterfly through the unknown, through the unknown no box is coming keep swimming [Bridge] Soft and warm is not here here it's just water and you and the next stroke [Chorus] Keep swimming butterfly keep swimming butterfly through the unknown, through the unknown no box is coming keep swimming

342. Load-Bearing Plywood from lara's hype eng vol. V. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/342 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/446 Lyrics: [Verse 1] You can take the girl out of the plywood house But the plywood house won't leave the girl New stairwell, big and useless, echoes like a factory floor The workshop stayed behind — the copper pipes came with me [Verse 2] Sorry neighbours, I'm sawing something again The acoustics in this hallway carry every cut You can't see the pipes from this angle but they're holding Plywood is my load-bearing structure [Chorus] Plywood holds Copper pipes somewhere inside Workshop's in another building Staircase isn't mine but I'm here Plywood holds [Bridge] Took the girl out Couldn't take the house out Building anyway [Chorus] Plywood holds Copper pipes somewhere inside Workshop's in another building Staircase isn't mine but I'm here Plywood holds

339. Brain in the Driver's Seat from lara's hype eng vol. V. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/339 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/443 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I know it in the moment — this isn't real Fear with no address, rage with nothing underneath Brain runs the numbers, prints the diagnosis clean But the body's already burning, didn't ask the brain [Verse 2] Eighty-five percent is noise and I know it exactly I shine right through myself like a lighthouse in a storm I don't say a word but the radiation leaks Poisons the whole room before I make it to the door [Chorus] Brain in the driver's seat Emotions riding shotgun without tickets I want to run them parallel, I want the wiring fixed For now I just go quiet till the weather shifts [Bridge - spoken, almost flat] Internal weather Toxic atmosphere I'm standing in the eye of it Just waiting for the clear [Verse 3] At least I learned to hold my mouth shut through the worst of it Sit with the storm, don't broadcast every frequency But knowing it's irrational doesn't make it stop I just want to feel none of it — is that too much to ask [Chorus] Brain in the driver's seat Emotions riding shotgun without tickets I want to run them parallel, I want the wiring fixed For now I just go quiet till the weather shifts

335. Fit as a Bull from lara's hype eng vol. U. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/335 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/438 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Local biochemical unbearability of existence — not a metaphor, a diagnosis, a distance. Non-pharmacological coping strategies give locally optimal outcomes, more or less. Globally? No. [Verse 2] To extract the correct pill from Dutch healthcare you need to be healthy. You need to be stubborn. You need to be a bull. Who, frankly, doesn't need the pills at all. [Chorus] Fit as a bull queuing up for proof that he's unwell. Fit as a bull explaining to the doctor what he can't tell. Fit as a bull he gets the prescription. Fit as a bull he goes to bed. [Bridge] Globally suboptimal consequences of surviving without medication — that's just a longer phrase for what was happening before. [Chorus] Fit as a bull queuing up for proof that he's unwell. Fit as a bull explaining to the doctor what he can't tell. Fit as a bull he gets the prescription. Fit as a bull he goes to bed.

334. Don't Help from lara's hype eng vol. U. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/334 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/437 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I'm working on something Someone asks how can I help You can not help You can not help Can't think while I'm talking Can't think while I'm coordinating Any outside noise and that's it Brain's overloaded, output is garbage [Chorus] Without solo thinking — garbage out Without solo thinking — garbage out You can not help You can not help [Verse 2] Brainstorms without solo time — not my thing First alone, then the group Every question the task is raising I need to solve before you walk in It's not about you It's about you right now While I haven't thought it through You can not help [Chorus] Without solo thinking — garbage out Without solo thinking — garbage out You can not help You can not help [Outro] How can I help? You can't Not yet

331. Basic Life from lara's hype eng vol. U. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/331 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/434 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Halfway through this earthly situation I figured out an inconvenient thing: there are two options, neither one is great, but one of them is unbearably mine. You could wait for something really good random timing, random size, unknown — no idea when, no idea how much, just wait and wait and wait and wait. [Chorus] Or just the basic life. Nothing extra, nothing above baseline. Predictable, quiet, empty — and, to my considerable surprise and regret, comfortable. Which is embarrassing, honestly. [Verse 2] This was supposed to be about courage, about how risk is how you really live. But my brain ran a quiet internal survey and voted for no surprises, no occasions. Uncomfortable autistic chronicles — category: no resolution, no conclusions. Just a fact, recorded accurately: random is worse than the absence of random. [Chorus] Just the basic life. Nothing extra, nothing above baseline. Predictable, quiet, empty — and, to my considerable regret, comfortable. Which is embarrassing, honestly. [Outro] Halfway through. Still choosing the floor over the ceiling. Halfway through.

318. Steel Visor Down from lara's hype eng vol. T. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/318 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/420 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Some people meet the world with open eyes — curiosity, wide arms, the whole thing. My first move is to find the off-switch, kill the generator, silence everything. Like an old tube TV — click, let the screen go dark, let the hum die. But my fingers find nothing in the dark and the machine keeps spinning. So do I. [Chorus] Fear drops first — clang of a steel visor. Then I lift it. Roll my sleeves. Move in. This is old code, written in bad years when everything changed and I had no say in it. But I'm here now. I go and solve the thing. Energy-expensive — yeah, so what. [Verse 2] Back when changes came too fast, too many, all of them outside my reach or will — the fear got written deep, below the language, and I still don't know what therapy fits the bill. But the leak is visible now, at least. I can see the drain. That's something. That's a start. I know I'll handle most of it — almost. Fear just charges entry to my own heart. [Chorus] Fear drops first — clang of a steel visor. Then I lift it. Roll my sleeves. Move in. This is old code, written in bad years when everything changed and I had no say in it. But I'm here now. I go and solve the thing. Energy-expensive — yeah, so what. [Bridge] I don't know yet what repairs something wired this far down. But I lift the visor anyway — and that's not nothing.

317. Liquid Nitrogen from lara's hype eng vol. T. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/317 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/419 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Long road through despair and through rage, through the freeze and the grief and the wreckage of each stage. But somewhere you surface back into yourself — another stem woven into the spine, into the self. What you shared with them stands at your back, takes you by the elbow when you start to crack. [Chorus] I know how to bury brothers, I know how to bury friends, I know how to hold it together when the dark descends. But there's one border my mind won't cross, my heart won't go: a parent standing over their child — that's liquid nitrogen. Liquid nitrogen. Liquid nitrogen. No map leads there. God, let no one know. [Verse 2] Every other death is a path, however bent — you come out carrying them, stronger than you went. But the thought of that summit of what should never be shuts down every system, every framework inside me. It won't fit inside a single line I've learned — I just hold the silence. Let it hold in return. [Chorus] I know how to bury brothers, I know how to bury friends, I know how to hold it together when the dark descends. But there's one border my mind won't cross, my heart won't go: a parent standing over their child — that's liquid nitrogen. Liquid nitrogen. Liquid nitrogen. No map leads there. God, let no one know. [Outro] Liquid nitrogen. May no one ever know.

316. Break Through from lara's hype eng vol. T. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/316 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/418 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Somebody sharper lives inside — clearer than the words come out, deeper than the face I hide, bolder than I walk about. He knows exactly what to say, he knows the when and how and why — but the shell gets in the way, wrong moment, wrong reply. [Chorus] Break through — not apart, just truer. So much energy spent on growing into something newer. This inner one is sharper, this inner one is braver — let him out, let him out, let him out already. [Verse 2] The shell is not the enemy — just old skin, just old fear, just a word that isn't ready, just timing that's a year. He's kinder than I show you, more careful than you'd know — and every time a little closer, a little more, a little more. [Chorus] Break through — not apart, just truer. So much energy spent on growing into something newer. This inner one is sharper, this inner one is braver — let him out, let him out, let him out already. [Outro] Wrong time. Wrong words. Not all the way. But still — he's breaking through.

311. New Store from lara's hype eng vol. T. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/311 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/413 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Two years to walk through a door. Today I walked through the door. Fluorescent lights, unfamiliar layout, cold air, new floor. [Verse 2] Other people just wander in — curiosity, no plan, no cost. I mapped the aisle before I arrived, counted every step I'd crossed. [Chorus] Small joy — still a win. No explaining, no apologising. However much it cost to get in, I know this place now. I'm here. [Verse 3] The world's not built for how I run, but I found my corner of it. Two years isn't weakness, isn't wrong — two years is just what it cost. [Chorus] Small joy — still a win. No explaining, no apologising. However much it cost to get in, I know this place now. I'm here. [Outro] I keep being amazed how much it takes for things other people don't even notice they're doing. I'm here.

302. Mental Shelving Unit from lara's hype eng vol. S. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/302 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/404 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Statistics sat in a pile for weeks Diagram after diagram till I could breathe No flash of genius, just grinding it out Packed every concept somewhere I can reach [Verse 2] Repetition, not inspiration Concepts in frames, details on the shelf If your whole system keeps collapsing — Here's a structure, take it, build it yourself [Chorus] Mental shelving unit, not a shrine, not a cage Just somewhere the chaos can stand in its place Grind it out, pack it up, hand it over — it's rarely pretty But it works, and working is not a disgrace [Bridge] The useful stuff shows up when it's ready No schedule, no announcement, no sign I'm sharing because someone out there needs to Build the shelving unit and not start from scratch like I did [Chorus] Mental shelving unit, not a shrine, not a cage Just somewhere the chaos can stand in its place Grind it out, pack it up, hand it over — it's rarely pretty But it works, and working is not a disgrace

300. Red Corner from lara's hype eng vol. S. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/300 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/402 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Run the numbers all the way through Don't wait for orders, don't look for a cue The road ahead is fog but you're already gone No map, no safety net — you carry on [Verse 2] Move before the signal, build before the fall Don't patch the roof when the water's in the hall Tattoo it on your arm, engrave it on the door Three rules, no footnotes — nothing more [Chorus] Full accountability — yours alone For everything you did and left undone No judge, no alibi, no middle zone Nail it in the red corner — and own it [Bridge] Being grown isn't an age on a form It's probability, action, outcome The system outside hums and pushes and warns You already decided. Already. On your own. [Chorus] Full accountability — yours alone For everything you did and left undone No judge, no alibi, no middle zone Nail it in the red corner — and own it [Outro] Calculate. Move first. Hold the result. Calculate. Move first. Hold the result.

295. Past the Cutoff from lara's hype eng vol. S. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/295 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/397 Lyrics: [Verse 1] You're smiling — I believe you, everything's fine But something in the angle, something in the light I know we all need someone to see us clearly That's not a flaw, that's just being alive But somewhere past a certain line something clicks The eyes go looking for a mirror, not a face And I back off — not angry, not dramatic — Just quietly I can't find my place [Chorus] Past the cutoff — something shifts I don't know whose fault this is Wanting to be seen — that's fine But why's all that light Pointing inward Only inward [Verse 2] One on one it's warm, it's real, no performance Hands and words that mean exactly what they say Maybe it's not them — maybe it's my threshold Where "I exist" becomes "now look my way" I need to figure this out — I know I do Not to judge, just to find where my line sits Because somewhere just behind that cutoff Might be my own anxiety that fits [Chorus] Past the cutoff — something shifts I don't know whose fault this is Wanting to be seen — that's fine But why's all that light Pointing inward Only inward [Outro] Gotta figure this out Gotta figure this out Gotta

288. Single-Channel from lara's hype eng vol. S. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/288 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/390 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I always thought I had a fragile nerve, That I was built to crack under pressure. Turns out the wiring's just a different curve — One big fire and I hold my measure. [Verse 2] One massive wall and I will fight it clean, One source of pain and I stay standing. But twenty-five small fires? I'm a scene. The architecture's not what I was branding. [Chorus] Single-channel, not multi-threaded, Give me one war and I'll see it through. Not low-resilience — just single-headed. Check the output in a month or two. [Bridge] This is not fragile — this is design. One giant problem and I am steady. Just don't stack twenty-five at the same time — I know my system now. I'm finally ready. [Chorus] Single-channel, not multi-threaded, Give me one war and I'll see it through. Not low-resilience — just single-headed. Check the output in a month or two. [Outro] If no new parallel chaos lands on me — Ask me then what the quality turned out to be.

283. Stripped Head from lara's hype eng vol. R. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/283 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/384 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Driven in hard with garbage metal, Head already stripped before I showed. Screwdriver slips, I lose my temper, Someone was here and someone cut corners on the road. [Verse 2] Factory, warehouse, shelf, my wall — The whole supply chain ends right here. One stripped screw is all it takes To make the whole damn system clear. I would shut it down. With fines. With charges. Crimes against humanity, aisle four. [Chorus] Stripped head, cheap metal, Somebody saved a cent, I pay. Stripped head, soft alloy, Ground down before I had my say. But I'm still here, I've got my tools, I'm not leaving till this thing comes out. Stripped head — that's not a small thing, That's a system that just doesn't care. I will get it. I will get it. I will get it out of there. [Bridge] There's a kind of rage that's surgical — Not a scream, a diagnosis. Every stripped head was a choice somebody made. I remember that while I'm turning. [Chorus] Stripped head, cheap metal, Somebody saved a cent, I pay. But I'm still here, I've got my tools, I'm getting it out today.

282. Data Engineering from lara's hype eng vol. R. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/282 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/383 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Eleven years in information architecture, models in my head Two years in data science, preprocessing — not LLM hype instead Today they made it official, carved out a day to learn New domain layers on smooth — no blood, no crash, no burn [Chorus] Consistent data, clean defined edges Not random, not experiments — engineering on solid ledges The puzzle comes together slow, but every piece fits right I found the field where I can dig for years and not lose sight [Verse 2] Thank you to the hacker who talked systems into every gap Bottom up through every layer, drew the whole damn map Thank you natural sciences — got in without a CS degree Packing the real world into models — that was always me [Chorus] Consistent data, clean defined edges Not random, not experiments — engineering on solid ledges The puzzle comes together slow, but every piece fits right I found the field where I can dig for years and not lose sight [Bridge] No blood, no sweat, no usual tears past the edge of what I know Familiar concepts going deeper, new blocks just slot and flow Not a jump into the void — it's the next layer down Digging wide and digging deep — this is where I'm bound [Outro] Consistent data Clean edges Every piece — mine

281. Legal French from lara's hype eng vol. R. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/281 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/382 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Half my life in French — not Proust, not Camus, just clauses, deadlines, forms in triplicate due. I must have sinned something fierce in a life before this one — now I read legal pidgin where the literature should run. [Chorus] No croissant, no baguette, no Chateaubriand today — just alphabet in rows, just contract, contract, okay. But I will finish it. I always finish it. Even if this is not the life, not the language I meant. [Verse 2] The great novels are waiting on a shelf I never reach. The philosophy's gathering dust, beautiful and out of reach. Today it's paragraphs, tomorrow more of the same. But somewhere inside all this there's still a small, stupid flame. [Chorus] No croissant, no baguette, no Chateaubriand today — just alphabet in rows, just contract, contract, okay. But I will finish it. I always finish it. Even if this is not the life, not the language I meant. [Outro] Not the life. Not the language. Still mine.

280. In Historical Context from lara's hype eng vol. R. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/280 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/381 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Used to be enough to just dislike the tone, The way they argue, leave their cups alone, Small stuff, bad habits, views that grate on mine — That was a manageable dislike, fine. Now it's the same list but the backdrop's changed, Every little flaw sits newly arranged, Each gesture lands inside a heavier year — The tab has grown, I fear. [Chorus] Not furious, not feral — Detached, controlled, and careful, Keeping distance like a practice I've nearly worn to nothing. In historical context Same people, same bad habits — I'm putting in the effort To dislike them without malice. [Verse 2] It takes real work, each time, to hold the line, To separate the person from the sign, To not let irritation turn to hate — And still, it's getting late. So tired of stitching up this seam Between the rage and the exhausted dream, I choose the cold over the burning thing — Detachment, not a sting. [Chorus] Not furious, not feral — Detached, controlled, and careful, Keeping distance like a practice I've nearly worn to nothing. In historical context Same people, same bad habits — I'm putting in the effort To dislike them without malice. [Outro] Very tiring. Very tiring.

275. The Glimmer Test from lara's hype eng vol. R. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/275 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/376 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I've got my scales, I've got my axes drawn, I rate for speed and depth and follow-through. You can score clean sweeps from dusk to dawn and still not make me want to cook with you. It's not the stats, it's not the résumé — some people land and something shifts inside. I'm watching how you move across the day and either something catches, or it slides. [Chorus] The glimmer test — no rubric, no score, no way to talk your way across that line. One person walks in, I want to know more. Another checks out perfect — I'm fine. Our porridge either simmers or it won't — the answer lands before I find the words. The glimmer test is something that I don't quite have a name for yet, but it occurs. [Verse 2] I'll type you, shelf you, map you on a grid, count up your axes, tally what you've built. But why does one face open up the lid when someone sharper leaves me cold and still? It's not symmetry and not a pattern match — it lives somewhere between the skin and time. A separate question, one I haven't cracked, that doesn't close when I turn off the light. [Chorus] The glimmer test — no rubric, no score, no way to talk your way across that line. One person walks in, I want to know more. Another checks out perfect — I'm fine. Our porridge either simmers or it won't — the answer lands before I find the words. The glimmer test is something that I don't quite have a name for yet, but it occurs.

83. Inner Mongolia from lara's hype eng vol. F. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/83-2 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/158 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Talking heads in varying degrees of opposition All the analysts smell like disconnection Opinions uncalibrated for their own position Enlightenment tone with a side of aggression One by one I'm pulling out the load-bearing columns No replacements found — no powder, no momentum Reading headlines, in the best case the first paragraph Cerebral stability is taking the hit [Chorus] Inner Mongolia — that's my perimeter Tamara Natanovna, nineteenth century No one talking here, no one performing clarity I make the call myself — and that's how I'll run [Verse 2] Sick of the public intellectuals and their platforms Culture in quotation marks, opinions in uniform No strength left to mine the rubble for a usable thesis Let the feed keep screaming — I already left the premises Arzamas on the horizon, expanding internal borders Not salvation — tactics, a method to hold the order Lectures instead of urgency, depth instead of the breaking news This isn't escape — this is choosing what I actually use [Chorus] Inner Mongolia — that's my perimeter Tamara Natanovna, nineteenth century No one talking here, no one performing clarity I make the call myself — and that's how I'll run [Outro] That's how I'll run That's how I'll run

645. Only From This State from lara's hype eng vol. AO. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/645 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/743 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Morning elevator, down on my knees kiss the walked bull terrier behind the ear the one guaranteed-clean location A hacker disappears into a model on hardware flown in from China One loose strand escapes my child's ponytail I melt [Verse 2] Walking to training, phone stays dark Evening sun falls sideways, generous and soft across the vines on the facades Only from this quiet state can I register the important little things and feel feelings from them [Chorus] A million hostile tasks enter my head and every feeling goes offline I can force myself to notice I cannot force support to arrive I go upside down for all life's garbage and feel nothing from the real things [Bridge] Maybe this brain will never learn the trick So the main task is simpler: minimize the garbage minimize the garbage [Outro] Vines on the walls one loose strand one clean place behind the ear Only from this state

644. Best Private Life So Far from lara's hype eng vol. AO. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/644 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/742 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I don't know what tomorrow is planning but I want this entered in the record: at this exact coordinate I'm living my best private life so far I work to make it better I pray through loudspeakers of every faith for the levels outside my control to discover a positive vector [Chorus] Important to notice it important to let it land A bright streak is happening I refuse to miss it while it's here Best private life so far right here, right now [Verse 2] Private is not a smaller word Private is the room that actually holds No forecast, no guarantee just this clean fact in my hands [Chorus] Important to notice it important to let it land A bright streak is happening I refuse to miss it while it's here [Outro] At this exact coordinate so far

643. The Correct Version from lara's hype eng vol. AO. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/643 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/741 Lyrics: [Verse 1] For years I've worried I read much less than the correct version of my life requires The list kept staring, professionally disappointed You should read more, you should have started earlier [Verse 2] This past year I nearly caught up Mostly children's literature, technically On year eight of motherhood the advice to “have a child” has finally produced some measurable benefit [Chorus] Some benefit is still a benefit some benefit is still a benefit The correct version of my life reads children's books aloud in the dark turns the page counts it [Bridge] Wrong book, wrong year, wrong operating mode The page still turned Advice delivered eight years late noted, thank you [Outro] Mostly children's literature Nearly caught up

642. Egg Cup from lara's hype eng vol. AO. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/642 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/740 Lyrics: [Verse 1] The bureaucratic knot finally gave up Dad's car is mine by right of cleaning it Inside the secret corners, after everything before: three reusable digital breathalyzers one disposable chemical one [Verse 2] A folding scooter, a brocade curtain Italian-Russian dictionary, binoculars A folding trolley, a straw mat and a dedicated cup for eating a soft-boiled egg [Chorus] A man of high domestic culture my dear theoretical physicist prepared for every border, every breakfast with an egg cup in the car an egg cup in the car [Bridge] Ownership finalized according to my standards of clean The paperwork took years The egg cup was already there [Outro] My dear theoretical physicist ready for the soft-boiled egg

640. Mother Harpy from lara's hype eng vol. AO. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/640 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/738 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Two days at the other parent's place she comes back and grabs my neck "Mommy I missed you so much" I don't know if she meant it I melted anyway, that's a fact Primary function: earn the money logistics, time-management, zones of proximal development Fun and games — I'm basically a goat but I read to her at bedtime, that counts [Chorus] Mother harpy, terminally boring adult Fridays: popcorn and an adventure film Mother harpy, swallowed the skepticism said well done — and that is also work [Verse 2] School test results: math at grade five entry she's finishing grade three, not bad at all Skepticism about local standards — inward outward — genuine, mostly pulled it off French onto permanent rails first then reading, then the exact sciences Balance: support, high bars, healthy chaos preferably without my direct involvement [Chorus] Mother harpy, terminally boring adult Fridays: popcorn and an adventure film Mother harpy, swallowed the skepticism said well done — and that is also work [Outro] Could be going better but the kid is great I'm glad she's mine

631. Fight the Homeostasis from lara's hype eng vol. AN. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/631 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/728 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Step one: you get exposed. Step two: you name the thing. Step three: you read its signals. Step four: you see the pattern. Step five: you move. That's the whole apparatus. No gift, no grace — just five steps, keep going. [Verse 2] Zavelsky reads Gorky, Gorky leans on Chekhov, Chekhov says nothing out loud but you already know: every day, a little, you push against something. The room. Yourself. The laziness, the drift, the not-caring. [Chorus] Fight the homeostasis — not a mission, not a monument. Just don't let yourself settle back into the same shape. Genius and a fried egg aren't separated by heaven — they're separated by effort. Every day. A little. Again. [Bridge] If you're lucky — a school. If not — a teacher turns up somewhere anyway. They give the impulse. The apparatus you assemble yourself. [Chorus] Fight the homeostasis — not a mission, not a monument. Just don't let yourself settle back into the same shape. Genius and a fried egg aren't separated by heaven — they're separated by effort. Every day. A little. Again.

622. Cartesian Flat from lara's hype eng vol. AM. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/622 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/719 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I plot my partners on a two-axis grid X: do they pull their weight Y: do they leave me alone Quadrant two is a miracle — happened exactly once Everywhere else is just Gaussian noise, my friend [Verse 2] My optimum is three: doesn't lift a finger but stays out of the way while I work My nightmare is one: does things themselves and tries to help Thank you, I'm good, I know where the sponge lives [Chorus] What wouldn't you do to get the house exactly like the right amusement park exactly like the right amusement park What wouldn't you do [Bridge — dry, almost spoken] Perfectly tuned to my idea of beautiful Exactly once Exactly once [Chorus] What wouldn't you do to get the house exactly like the right amusement park exactly like the right amusement park What wouldn't you do

618. Pigalitsa from lara's hype eng vol. AM. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/618 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/713 Lyrics: [Verse 1] LinkedIn is open, serious faces, turning forty, legacy, growth. Photos in blazers, gazing at futures, life was, life is, life will be — the whole. [Verse 2] I've solved some things, I've moved some mountains, none of that is what I feel right now. They have the genre, I have the hunger. Pigalitsa. Don't ask me how. [Chorus] I want to walk up and ask them quietly — vanilla ice cream, a cone, just one. Stand there, say nothing, explain nothing, smile. Pigalitsa I am and I'm doing fine. [Bridge] Forty. Achievements. The arc of a life. I am outside of this particular frame. Inside — a cone. Vanilla. Still. [Chorus] I want to walk up and ask them quietly — vanilla ice cream, a cone, just one. Stand there, say nothing, explain nothing, smile. Pigalitsa I am and I'm doing fine.

597. Marshmallow Champion from lara's hype eng vol. AL. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/597 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/691 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Multiple-time Olympic gold in the marshmallow test — delayed and cold. Hardest thing first, that's the rule I keep, tax forms before breakfast, invoices before sleep. [Verse 2] Easter holiday, the afterschool is open, I am not working — rare, almost broken. Legal questions stacked up on the shelf. I hid a clue inside an egg instead. [Chorus] People who think event management is fun, you were always a mystery to me. But today I'm hiding paper trails in plastic eggs and the taxes can wait — they'll still be there at three. [Bridge] Multiple-time. Olympic. Today just a woman with a hand-drawn map. The marshmallow isn't going anywhere. The backlog isn't going anywhere. The kid asked for a quest. The kid gets a quest. [Chorus] People who think event management is fun, you were always a mystery to me. But today I'm hiding paper trails in plastic eggs and the taxes can wait — they'll still be there at three.

581. Push to Open from lara's hype eng vol. AK. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/581 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/674 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Seventeen cabinet doors, three hours, eye for detail and OCD — decent curse. The seams are off by half a millimeter. Not paranoia. Just a fact. Just a fact. [Verse 2] Non-factory furniture, its own kind of hell, three drawers still sitting there, not done yet. The universe knew exactly what it was doing when it handed me this eye. [Chorus] Not quite satisfied. Not quite satisfied. But push to open everywhere it should be — fine. I'll take that. Fine. [Bridge] Three drawers are watching me. They know. I know. We both know what's coming. [Chorus] Not quite satisfied. Not quite satisfied. But push to open everywhere it should be — fine. I'll take that. Fine.

580. Embedded Neurotic from lara's hype eng vol. AK. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/580 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/673 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Seemed simple — sit down, ship your AI services, evals, metrics, everything clean and on the list. But someone opened a ticket for a redesign and suddenly I'm standing between the PM and the designer. Sleeves rolled up. Schemas. Specs. Wireframes. So it's actually correct this time, not like usual. [Chorus] Embedded neurotic won't allow it. Embedded neurotic won't allow it. Okay, the database — I depend on that at least. But the interfaces? Could let it go. Embedded neurotic won't allow it. [Verse 2] Information architecture background — can't shake it, no matter what. Familiar domain, complex admin panel — I'm already in, already holding the marker at the board. Not helping, not heroism, just watching in silence is physically painful. [Chorus] Embedded neurotic won't allow it. Embedded neurotic won't allow it. Okay, the database — I depend on that at least. But the interfaces? Could let it go. Embedded neurotic won't allow it. [Outro] So it's actually correct this time. Not like usual.

578. Drop the Husk from lara's hype eng vol. AK. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/578 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/671 Lyrics: [Verse 1] No bandwidth right now for a balanced take but I've done the reading, I know what's at stake features, bugs, dimorphism, the whole syllabus I tracked the thresholds, I followed the protocol empowerment, sisterhood, and so on, and so on I get it, I've been exposed to the alternate data but the formula — I am [woman], I back [woman] — doesn't get us to the beautiful future faster [Chorus] Drop the husk, drop the husk show me the person, not the attribute drop the husk, drop the husk no label earns my loyalty by default yes, the thresholds are skewed, yes, that has to move but not like this, not like this Peace, labor, May — come on in [Verse 2] I'll note the footnote: I might be working from privilege gender-neutral upbringing, no negative data of my own not a new opinion, nobody asked for it either but going quiet also doesn't feel right, so here we go person of certain qualities backs a person of those qualities not the biological attribute, not the husk, not the scheme the beautiful future is still far — understood, acknowledged but the formula is wrong and I think we all know what I mean [Chorus] Drop the husk, drop the husk show me the person, not the attribute drop the husk, drop the husk no label earns my loyalty by default yes, the thresholds are skewed, yes, that has to move but not like this, not like this Peace, labor, May — come on in [Outro] With respect, the Editorial Board and its unsolicited opinion

571. MVP on a Terrible Day from lara's hype eng vol. AJ. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/571 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/664 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Unfamiliar repo, toolcalling barely touched Freetext, parsing, sandbox of the provider Spitting out the feedback — correct, incorrect Not a great achievement, but it's something concrete [Verse 2] Works decently on a small dataset A year ago I had nothing to do with this genre Turtle speed is still a speed MVP on a terrible day — at least that [Chorus] Deterministic check It runs anyway Terrible day, but I shipped it But I shipped it But I shipped it [Bridge] I remind myself I remind myself Moving somewhere At least something slightly soul-saving [Chorus] Deterministic check It runs anyway Terrible day, but I shipped it But I shipped it

565. Face Goes Grey from lara's hype eng vol. AJ. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/565 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/658 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Five meetings with the lawyers, five times around They dropped it — now we run the whole thing back to ground Two years, a lot of money, same route, same gate The case won't close for another year or eight I remember my father's face going grey Every time the border guards had something to say Mine goes grey from any functionary, any desk Visor drops, visor drops, can't process the rest [Chorus] Not a single smooth unit of interaction Not one — in twenty-five years of this Face goes grey, visor drops Visor drops [Verse 2] How does the country stay afloat at all With institutions rotting at this rate of fall I don't understand it and I don't want to try I'm waiting for my exit, I don't know why it's taking so long to die Out of this bureaucratic servitude Out of this — you hear me — servitude Visor drops, face goes grey Same process, same money, same day [Chorus] Not a single smooth unit of interaction Not one — in twenty-five years of this Face goes grey, visor drops Visor drops [Outro] I hate it I hate it I hate it

555. Nothing Else from lara's hype eng vol. AI. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/555 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/646 Lyrics: [Verse 1] A USB stick with all the passwords Property deeds filed clean and straight The apartment sorted, the accounts sufficient To cover the cost of the estate [Verse 2] A clear will — that's the last act of kindness No riddles, no drama, no delay Enough in the balance so nobody's scrambling Just sign the forms and walk away [Chorus] And nothing else And nothing else A USB stick with the passwords And nothing else [Verse 3] Not letters, not journals, not hard-won wisdom Not a folder of screenshots, not a list Just the paperwork done and the numbers matching So the people I love don't get dismissed [Chorus] And nothing else And nothing else A USB stick with the passwords And nothing else [Outro] Documents filed clean Accounts in order And nothing else

551. Measured, Polite, Alive from lara's hype eng vol. AI. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/551 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/642 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Frustrations stacked up by evening, I put on an old lecture. Industrial design — simple objects, cup, handle, edge, door. No punk posturing, no performance rage, just a voice that's polite but not small. Measured, soft, a little sharp — and that's the thing that caught me. [Chorus] Measured, polite, alive — not quiet, not soft in the wrong way. About the shape of a spoon, the hinge on a door — and that was my catharsis. That was it. [Verse 2] You can shout, you can posture, you can perform — but she just explains it, and clearer. The subject, the register, the combination — I didn't expect it to be this. Frustration watches, doesn't know where to go if it can't be angry at something. And the lecture keeps going — measured, polite — about how a door handle works. [Chorus] Measured, polite, alive — not quiet, not soft in the wrong way. About the shape of a spoon, the hinge on a door — and that was my catharsis. That was it. [Outro] Old lecture. Simple objects. A little sharp. Within bounds.

546. Drag It Home from lara's hype eng vol. AI. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/546 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/637 Lyrics: [Verse 1] One more step toward the end of a very long thing — not the climax, just the end How much time — don't ask me How much energy — also don't ask [Verse 2] Personal, public, the third thing that doesn't have a clean name but sits on the same balance It takes bites out of you — that's fine eventually it generates something that feels like yes [Chorus] At peace with my conscience at peace with the things I decided to believe The main thing is to drag it home The main thing is to drag it home [Bridge] Not elegant, not fast not on the first attempt you just keep pulling — and at some point it's done [Chorus] At peace with my conscience at peace with the things I decided to believe The main thing is to drag it home The main thing is to drag it home [Outro] The saga doesn't explain itself It just — eventually — ends

544. Customs Booth from lara's hype eng vol. AI. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/544 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/635 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Six months in the corner, cardboard and tape One cubic meter, don't ask A customs booth — serious operation Collecting dust, holding its ground [Verse 2] He said: you can throw it out I didn't ask him twice Already moving — before he changes his mind Before he changes his mind [Chorus] Neurotic parent joy — the window is small He said okay and I'm already in the hall One cubic meter back, don't ask Running to execute Running to execute [Bridge] He hasn't changed his mind yet I'm already at the trash chute The customs booth is closed The customs booth is closed forever [Chorus] Neurotic parent joy — the window is small He said okay and I'm already in the hall One cubic meter back, don't ask Running to execute Running to execute

521. Grey-Blue from lara's hype eng vol. AG. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/521 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/610 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Three and a half months of sourcing, hacking, building Floor-to-ceiling wardrobe around the bed No gaps, no contractor, no asking Most resource-heavy project so far [Verse 2] Ordered custom doors, colour-matched on screen Grey-green on the monitor Grey-blue at the door Close enough to ruin, not close enough to send back [Chorus] Not flawless But good enough to feel it Grey-blue doors The antique shelf disagrees — Sand it down, repaint it Shipping myself to release [Bridge] Couple of small things left But current state is photo-worthy Headboard end: cosy now No gaps [Chorus] Not flawless But good enough to feel it Grey-blue doors The antique shelf disagrees — Sand it down, repaint it Shipping myself to release

520. No Rollback from lara's hype eng vol. AG. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/520 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/609 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Deep in the zone, hands moving faster than the plan Thread the wire through the shelf — clean, I can One careful pull, one stupid angle, one loud crack The kids' room lamp is gone and there's no going back [Verse 2] Physical world ships without a version history No previous commit, no restore, no undo key Best case: time, money, effort, start again Worst case: hardware store at nine, back home by ten [Chorus] Smashed the lamp in the kids' room Drove across town for a switch Gonna fix it Gonna fix it [Bridge — dry, near-spoken] The rule with DIY is: stop before you think you should You only learn that after [Chorus] Smashed the lamp in the kids' room Drove across town for a switch Gonna fix it Gonna fix it [Outro] Gonna fix it

515. Not Every Diversity from lara's hype eng vol. AG. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/515 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/604 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Past a certain level of complexity it's faster to just do it myself packaging a thought for a different operating system eats an unreasonable amount of everything If I know how — I'll do it If I don't — I'll learn Better than not vibing communicationally and then auditing what went wrong [Chorus] Not every pluralism pays out not every diversity ships I'll take your feedback in any format — translation's on me, that's my resource The reverse process costs a lot more not every diversity ships [Verse 2] Expert input — I'm open to all formats I'll implement it, that's my job updated, mapped into my coordinate system I can handle that But wrapping my output for a type that's far from mine — time, effort, errors in transmission easier to learn the skill myself than wait to see if it lands right [Chorus] Not every pluralism pays out not every diversity ships I'll take your feedback in any format — translation's on me, that's my resource The reverse process costs a lot more not every diversity ships [Outro] Collaborate with people where the formats work not with everyone by default

511. Jigsaw, No Guide from lara's hype eng vol. AF. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/511 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/599 Lyrics: [Verse 1] On the days I feel professionally useless I go to the hallway pick up the jigsaw cut almost perfectly no guide rail, no template Floor-to-ceiling wardrobe situation around the bed hacked IKEA headboard parts in transit, one more week I can wait [Chorus] Oak veneer to the front door configurator not perfect but functional other sites are actual blood tears this one is basically space Oak veneer to the front door I type in my dimensions they cut it clean I'm building DIY paradise [Verse 2] Client work is wearing me down requests that have nothing to do with my understanding of beautiful but I found the ideal plywood and that matters Searching for decent wood always exhausted me bad wood always disappointed me now it arrives on its own I just press confirm [Chorus] Oak veneer to the front door configurator not perfect but functional other sites are actual blood tears this one is basically space Oak veneer to the front door I type in my dimensions they cut it clean I'm building DIY paradise [Outro] I'll be back here with the final photo

506. The Visor Drops from lara's hype eng vol. AF. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/506 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/594 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Something happens — click, same second Visor drops, sealed, no signal Doesn't matter that you didn't mean it Doesn't matter what we built — it has no weight, zero, nothing Just the cold, just the wall, just the fury Not at you — at what just occurred here I knew this in childhood, couldn't say it "Baby, where does all that rage come from?" [Chorus] The visor drops The anger isn't yours, it's the situation The visor drops Where does it come from, little one? The visor drops Third-tier words, cold inventory The visor drops — just stay, don't go [Verse 2] Prefrontal cortex, experience, therapy Stay quiet until the words lose their poison Count the good things — mechanically, coldly Disappointment in yourself included, comes standard But what actually works, as it turns out: you don't take the bait, you don't armor up Just there, friendly, sorry if applicable Ready to talk when I find the lever [Chorus] The visor drops The anger isn't yours, it's the situation The visor drops Where does it come from, little one? The visor drops Third-tier words, cold inventory The visor drops — just stay, don't go [Bridge] I've been running this pattern since I was small I know what it is, I still hit the wall I'd drain it out somehow if I could find the tap But apparently that requires a lobotomy [Outro] These people are rare, I should mention Right now I know exactly one The visor drops Just stay

499. Ten Years on Pause from lara's hype eng vol. AF. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/499 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/585 Lyrics: [Verse 1] for a change I'm not here to yell just to say a thing that's true ten years on pause, no explanation and then — you no subtext loaded in the silence no debt attached, no weight our private words still in the same place the jokes still land the same [Chorus] ten years on pause — and the closeness didn't expire ten years on pause — found its way back anyway ten years on pause — and the closeness didn't expire found its way back anyway [Verse 2] the pain and frustration dissolved but the main thing didn't go no fanfare, nothing loud about it just — contact, live and slow one of the most important people back without a scene no explanations, no big entrance just the frequency [Chorus] ten years on pause — and the closeness didn't expire ten years on pause — found its way back anyway ten years on pause — and the closeness didn't expire found its way back anyway [Outro] I value this incredibly that's all

491. All the Horses Stopped from lara's hype eng vol. AE. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/491 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/577 Lyrics: [Verse 1] All the horses stopped at once No reason, no warning, just stopped The cottages went dark mid-sentence Not burnt down, just — off Women wandering the vegetable patches Something in their eyes like a question that nobody filed the form for yet [Chorus] We're all just women in the garden of life Someone said that like it helps All the horses stopped All the lights went out I'm dusting off my therapist I kept him in a box All the horses stopped [Verse 2] Four months from now, apparently, this is me Some pastry prophet handed me my future Wrapped in dough, sprinkled with "we're all just women in the garden of life" I'm carrying two items of inner resonance to a professional who charges by the hour [Chorus] We're all just women in the garden of life Someone said that like it helps All the horses stopped All the lights went out I'm dusting off my therapist I kept him in a box All the horses stopped [Bridge] The bass keeps going The horses don't The bass keeps going The lights went out The bass keeps going [Outro] All the horses stopped The cabbages remain All the horses stopped We remain

490. Instant Granules from lara's hype eng vol. AE. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/490 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/576 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Aeropress, V60, single origin, light roast, niche lot, I ordered it in October — mornings at home with a scale and a hand grinder, everything slow, everything mine, everything measured. [Verse 2] Georgian women offer Nescafé. Granules. Hot water. A plastic spoon. I drink it — and honestly, kind of enjoy it. That's also coffee. That's also me. [Chorus] Instant granules, and it's fine. Scale at home, but out there — no scale. Every area of life, roughly like this. Except work. Not at work. [Bridge] Except work. Except work. Except work — that's different. [Chorus] Instant granules, and it's fine. Scale at home, but out there — no scale. Every area of life, roughly like this. Except work. Not at work.

476. Starry Night Is Elsewhere from lara's hype eng vol. AD. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/476 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/562 Lyrics: [Verse 1] First time at the Van Gogh museum Audio guide, tickets, queue She's looking at everything seriously Like she already knew [Verse 2] But Starry Night is not here Starry Night is in New York We're standing in front of something else She doesn't say a word [Chorus] Starry Night is elsewhere Starry Night is elsewhere We came to the right place The painting just isn't here [Verse 3] Where did she learn to do that — Say everything by saying nothing Maybe she figured it out herself Maybe she's not telling [Chorus] Starry Night is elsewhere Starry Night is elsewhere We came to the right place The painting just isn't here [Outro] Amsterdam. October. Museum. The painting is in New York. She's not telling.

475. Stone Ass from lara's hype eng vol. AD. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/475 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/561 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Two months of doing nothing that I did for three years straight shipped the MVP, it landed now it's familiar ground on totally new stack the whole saga hasn't let go yet still haven't slept it off [Chorus] Combination of luck, planning and a stone ass lost less than I thought I would gained significantly more bets were raised — they paid stone ass [Verse 2] landed where I landed that also counts as a plan all upside on paper but I was nervous the whole way through that's a question for the brain configuration of course [Chorus] Combination of luck, planning and a stone ass lost less than I thought I would gained significantly more bets were raised — they paid stone ass [Bridge — dry] I should learn to worry less mid-play but that's the brain configuration again that's the brain configuration again [Outro] stone ass stone ass

474. Metrics at Midday from lara's hype eng vol. AD. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/474 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/560 Lyrics: [Verse 1] The big anxieties got resolved The routines settled, the alarms went quiet The dashboard cleared, the emergency lifted And something crawled out from the back Tears that never actually happened Grief for losses not yet arrived The slow decay of matter, living and not Your own body included [Chorus] Middle of the day Building metrics for a work project Heart rate climbing for no reason And honestly everything is fine For real this time But from the alleyways of the neocortex Something is crawling out [Verse 2] In emergency management mode These things weren't on the bridge monitors They just waited, patient, in the dark For the crisis to be over A past that was lived, not always by you A future loss already on its way The brain is a remarkable thing, obviously I never stop being amazed [Chorus] Middle of the day Building metrics for a work project Heart rate climbing for no reason And honestly everything is fine For real this time But from the alleyways of the neocortex Something is crawling out [Outro] Maybe I should finally book myself a therapist Or whatever that is

428. Fairly Accurate Scripts from lara's hype eng vol. AA. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/428 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/543 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Behavioural interview, tell me about a failure Tell me how you grew, tell me what you learned People are uninteresting, topics — even more so But I'm smiling because that's the job [Verse 2] Calls — rare exposure, thank god for that Forced socialisation is just a tax I pay it on time, not a penny over The first kind's behind me, the rest I've covered [Chorus] A fairly accurate set of scripts built up across a lifetime A fairly accurate set of scripts I know exactly what to say A fairly accurate set of scripts Voice temperature: steady A fairly accurate set of scripts Then I go back to quiet [Bridge] Tell me about a time when — Yes, of course, there was such a moment Tell me about a time when — It's fine, I already have the answer [Chorus] A fairly accurate set of scripts built up across a lifetime A fairly accurate set of scripts I know exactly what to say A fairly accurate set of scripts Voice temperature: steady A fairly accurate set of scripts Then I go back to quiet

424. My Way (OCD In The House) from lara's hype eng vol. AA. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/424 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/539 Lyrics: [Verse 1] two and a half years I lived around it walls that wouldn't hold me, light that wouldn't land my own square footage felt like borrowed furniture I kept adjusting and it kept not being mine [Verse 2] still needs time, still needs money, love, attention unfinished, underloved, not quite there yet but the feeling in the room is completely different turns out all it took was [Chorus] do it my way do it my way OCD in the house, dear comrades do it my way [Bridge] not the sensible way not the easy way not the way that works for everyone else the space started feeding me that's it that's the whole thing [Chorus] do it my way do it my way OCD in the house, dear comrades do it my way

414. Fit from lara's hype eng vol. Z. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/414 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/528 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Everyone's taking pills to focus I need pills to stop 11pm, I left the desk Voluntarily, not because I forgot Untangle the domain, turn it over Model it from every side Until it's clear to me first — No code, no IDE, not yet tonight [Chorus] Information architect AI developer One role, one person, one room I feel like I belong here I hope the place agrees I feel like I belong here I hope the place agrees [Verse 2] Illustrate it differently Until it's clear to everyone in the call Only then the first line Only then I open anything at all Outside it's whatever it is In here — a domain that finally gives This is rare, I know it's rare To feel exactly where you fit [Chorus] Information architect AI developer One role, one person, one room I feel like I belong here I hope the place agrees I feel like I belong here I hope the place agrees [Outro] By choice By choice Left the desk at 11 by choice

392. Engineering Legs from lara's hype eng vol. Y. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/392 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/503 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Three years ago I was calling APIs from a notebook Libraries, endpoints, copy-paste, that was the full stack Sometimes I get a little distance from the infinite list Of everything I still don't know, and I look back [Chorus] Standing on engineering legs Not steady, not finished, but standing The list never ends, it was never going to end But three years ago I wasn't sitting here doing this [Verse 2] SWE fundamentals, edge-cutting, ML, AI All of it still ahead, which is fine, that's the deal One hacker trained me for two years, another one helped with the formal side I'll write a separate post about that, someday, for real [Chorus] Standing on engineering legs Not steady, not finished, but standing The list never ends, it was never going to end But three years ago I wasn't sitting here doing this [Bridge] This is where the infinite gratitude goes But that's a different post For now: system design, morning, a cool tool And the feeling that the legs exist [Outro] Standing Standing The list is still there Standing

389. Triple-Heated Boiler from lara's hype eng vol. Y. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/389 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/499 Lyrics: [Verse 1] A hundred meters to the next bin, not the Sahara, not a pilgrimage. Bag on the ground, seagulls already know the schedule, wind handles the rest across the block. Lovingly designed hell, VIP kettle, triple heat — reserved for anyone who cannot be bothered to walk one minute with their own garbage. [Chorus] Triple-heated boiler, custom-built for you. Seagulls tearing into plastic, wind distributing the whole spectacular view. Triple-heated boiler — I cannot forgive the pigsty you pressed on everyone who never agreed to live in it. [Verse 2] Nearest bin is full — okay, I see it, there's another one a little further on. But the bag lands anyway, cellophane splits open, somebody walks past looking totally fine. I will never understand the willingness. Never. No matter how long I watch. The seagulls have a system. You are the variable they already factored in. [Chorus] Triple-heated boiler, custom-built for you. Seagulls tearing into plastic, wind distributing the whole spectacular view. Triple-heated boiler — I cannot forgive the pigsty you pressed on everyone who never agreed to live in it. [Outro] One hundred meters. Not the Sahara. One hundred meters.

388. Special Cauldron from lara's hype eng vol. Y. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/388 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/498 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Nine fifteen, the worst part of the morning Phone rings, no text, no warning Important — not urgent — but it rings, rings, rings This is about the worst way to get anything out of me [Verse 2] I have a design in my head for a personal hell With a dedicated cauldron, extra heat setting For the people who call like this And wait for a coherent answer [Chorus] Special cauldron Extra heat, custom built Special cauldron Nine fifteen, I'm not ready Special cauldron I designed it myself Special cauldron — call me after ten [Bridge — dry, no melody] Important. Not urgent. No warning. Nine. Fifteen. [Chorus] Special cauldron Extra heat, custom built Special cauldron Nine fifteen, I'm not ready Special cauldron I designed it myself Special cauldron — call me after ten

385. peer-to-peer from lara's hype eng vol. Y. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/385 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/495 Lyrics: [Verse 1] I keep telling everyone about my communication quirks how I freeze, how I fumble, how the whole thing hurts then I look up and there's something impossible a network that shouldn't exist [Verse 2] peer-to-peer, tete-a-tete no ticket system, no request form somebody just shows up and doesn't wait for thanks does something — for me, for the people I love [Chorus] peer-to-peer no central node no one assigned to this just — this [Verse 3] I feel a lot of gratitude it's embarrassing to write down but I'm writing it down guys, thank you for everything for everything you do [Chorus] peer-to-peer no central node no one assigned to this just — this [Outro] I talk about my quirks you do the thing anyway peer-to-peer peer-to-peer

383. Bedtime Repchik from lara's hype eng vol. X. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/383 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/492 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Artemiy read my channel to his kid No bedtime story, so he used my feed Starting from the clock app, swearing redacted Autocomplete changed "rap" to "radish" — undetected [Verse 2] Griboedov haircut, channel in the canon School literature by accident, God save the children I did not ask to be a lullaby But here we are, and someone's daughter closed her eyes [Chorus] Make it a rap track, make it a rap track Autocomplete will fix the parts you can't take back Swearing illegible, the rhythm holds I'll meet her someday — only if you made it a rap track [Bridge] I need to know you made it a rap track Before I shake her hand I need to know that You took the channel, took the clock-screen swearing And made it something she could brag about at school [Chorus] Make it a rap track, make it a rap track Autocomplete will fix the parts you can't take back Swearing illegible, the rhythm holds I'll meet her someday — only if you made it a rap track [Outro] Upasi gospodi — autocomplete — radish Upasi gospodi — autocomplete — radish

382. Different Planet from lara's hype eng vol. X. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/382 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/490 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Glue myself to the chair — I can do that. Learn the theory cold — I can do that. Stay up, work it out, go deep — that part's fine, that part's me. But freestyle, fast, with people watching — nope. Hard stop. Wrong interface. Wrong protocol. [Chorus] Whole life like this. Whole life like this. Main learning: no learning, actually. Whole life like this. Whole life like this. Can I get a different planet? For the broken ones — where presence isn't mandatory. Whole life like this. [Verse 2] Give me a problem, I'll sit there and solve it. Give me the unexpected — I go dark, go quiet. Not fear exactly. Just the way I'm built. Sorry. Final takeaway: same as last time. Same conclusion as ten years back. Chair is occupied. Planet unavailable. Whole life like this. [Chorus] Whole life like this. Whole life like this. Main learning: no learning, actually. Whole life like this. Whole life like this. Can I get a different planet? For the broken ones — where presence isn't mandatory. Whole life like this. [Outro] Some labor planet. Different jurisdiction. For people like this. Whole life like this.

381. Final Round from lara's hype eng vol. X. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/381 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/489 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Four pipelines, all of them strong companies Made it to the last round every single time AI safety, real research tasks — cut on the second Telling myself it's fine and not quite believing it [Verse 2] Monday I come out of stealth mode Open post on LinkedIn, here's my rock bottom Aim somewhere less ambitious for a while Jumping rope over bumps of different shapes in three threads [Chorus] Failed the final round Failed the final round Five six interviews and again the final round So tired of jumping through it all at once I just want to work I just want to work [Bridge] For a first job search — I tell myself — not bad Doesn't sound convincing Four companies, all of them strong Doesn't sound convincing [Chorus] Failed the final round Failed the final round Five six interviews and again the final round So tired of jumping through it all at once I just want to work I just want to work

370. Dissecting Reality from lara's hype eng vol. X. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/370 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/475 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Used to run six thousand characters a day Dissecting every corner of the real It was the method, it was the practice, it was the way I couldn't function without it — even then Now the characters are sparse, just enough To bleed the pressure from the skull War times corporation times career change times Personal setup — all at once, all full [Chorus] No dissecting the universe tonight No chains of thoughts, no chains of thoughts Just the first-necessity tasks in the queue And screaming in between Screening in between [Verse 2] It killed the interest. Plugged the directness. Made the topics feel obscene. Cognitive remainder: moderate professional Evolution. Just that. Just that. Where's the person who could open anything — Any seam of actual reality? I search for traces of him in here I find the lid, I find the steam [Chorus] No dissecting the universe tonight No chains of thoughts, no chains of thoughts Just the first-necessity tasks in the queue And screaming in between Screaming in between [Bridge] I want to go back to the analytical mode Different topics, different formats, different frame But it seems like to get there I need to build a different world first [Outro] A different world A different world Scream

361. The Flower Bed from lara's hype eng vol. W. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/361 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/466 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Long road, but it went the right way led me straight into the work I actually love Good textures, difficult colors functions packed precisely into form [Verse 2] Attention to register, to tone, to pitch that came from somewhere, I know where Some things don't split down the middle don't get returned, don't get erased [Chorus] A small flower bed of genuinely great friends no expiration, no distance limit A small flower bed of genuinely great friends I'm grateful for this, I really am [Verse 3] For a lot of other things too I won't list them all out loud I just carry them like a good texture on a day when everything else is rough [Chorus] A small flower bed of genuinely great friends no expiration, no distance limit A small flower bed of genuinely great friends I'm grateful for this, I really am [Outro] The bed still grows friends still answer the road was the right one

359. Unladylike from lara's hype eng vol. W. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/359 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/464 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Everyone sent recommendations, genuinely good I stayed with Foster anyway, like I knew I would He keeps a lexicon with noble patina on it Nineteenth-century English still alive, still honest [Verse 2] Word of the day: unladylike Try finding that in anything published recently I picked it up, I'm keeping it It goes directly on the family crest of me [Chorus] Unladylike — on the shield, on the motto If I lose my stylistic mind, you'll know where I've gone to Unladylike — that particular finish Not dust, not shine — the thing that lives between them [Bridge] No coat of arms yet, that part's still pending The motto's done, the archive's never-ending Foster still open, same page, night outside This is what going off the deep end looks like [Chorus] Unladylike — on the shield, on the motto If I lose my stylistic mind, you'll know where I've gone to Unladylike — that particular finish Not dust, not shine — the thing that lives between them [Outro] Unladylike Unladylike

354. Forty-Three Items from lara's hype eng vol. W. Web player, likes, and session sync: https://lare.m-d-r-n.com/play/354 Telegram post: https://telegram.me/lara_just_in_case/458 Lyrics: [Verse 1] Seven out of eight, close enough. The eighth one knows what it did. Forty-three more on the general list and I didn't touch a single one of them. [Verse 2] English care home, a body in the garden, three hours in the chair, no one called. I can't remember the last time I let myself just sit somewhere until the ending. [Chorus] Is this not self-care? The eighth can wait till morning. Is this not self-care? Detective, armchair, quiet, done. The days are still arriving heavy — but today I read the whole thing through. [Verse 3] Forty-three items watching from the screen. Let them watch. The killer has a name. The days keep being hard — I know, it's strange — but I was here. I stayed. I turned the page. [Chorus] Is this not self-care? The eighth can wait till morning. Is this not self-care? Detective, armchair, quiet, done. The days are still arriving heavy — but today I read the whole thing through. [Outro] Seven out of eight. Forty-three remaining. I finished the book.