New Life LIVE

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ shares how he recently spoke at a retreat about getting irritated with his wife over contact lens solution left too far away on the bathroom counter. A painful pool slide mishap reinforced the lesson: don’t seek personal glory, but point people to God. I’ve looked at porn for decades since I found it among my dad’s things. I recently betrayed my wife by looking at porn; can I still be saved? My ex-husband told my kids not to let me visit while he and his wife are having a family reunion. None of us have all been together for about 10 years. How can I help my 24-year-old autistic son get a job if he can’t interact with coworkers? He graduated from college and is job hunting, but he has no social life or friends.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc discusses the identified patient dynamic, in which one person is blamed for relationship problems. He shares three things to consider when someone blames you and refuses to take responsibility for their part. Why am I still struggling with feelings of betrayal after discovering in 2009 that my husband and his circle of friends were exchanging hardcore pornography? One of the friends involved was on his recent golf trip. Why do people settle for unhealthy relationships, make excuses for their spouse’s behavior, or accept less than they deserve?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui Mack-Harris explains that trauma often comes from the people we love and trust most. Coping mechanisms that once helped us survive in the past can turn into unhealthy patterns that keep us from building healthy relationships today. I need to grieve leaving my church of nine years because I don’t participate and they never supported me after my husband died. How do I write a letter explaining why I’m leaving? Churches reject me when I tell them that the church is not a building but a community of people. Should I give money to churches that want to build larger facilities? Would a New Life intensive workshop help my friend who is divorcing a narcissist?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris discusses how despair can often overshadow everything else in our lives. Drawing from Lamentations 3:22-23, he explains how we can practice gratitude and recognize God’s goodness while remaining honest about the pain and sorrow we experience. How can my 14-year-old nephew’s parents encourage him to take his ADHD medication? How can they help him stop cursing and exhibiting aggressive behavior? How can I help my daughter, who is addicted to meth and fentanyl and sells herself to obtain drugs? I gave her a Life Recovery Bible, but she says someone stole it. She also lies and tells me she is clean when she is still using.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Laura shares a dynamic she’s seen in her counseling practice that she calls “Different Face, Same Place.” She shares three steps we can take to replace negative relationship patterns. I’m in my third marriage, and I provide 100% of the financial support for my husband! My husband of 25 years hid that he was a drug addict. I started taking care of others when I was a child because my parents made me take care of my 15 siblings. Are there any tools to deal with my son’s mother-in-law hitting me two years ago at my son’s wedding? I recently saw her at a baby shower and still feel hurt and confused. If I ask my husband about finances or ask him to help with the kids, he tells me he’s not a bank and that I’m ungrateful! Will this work in the long term?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui discusses why we shouldn’t try to be the project manager for our spouse or other close relationships. Accept people for who they are, work with reality, and make choices based on that truth. I’m 58 and recovering from addiction, but my ADHD symptoms are getting worse. Will things get better? I was told to get a “Medicaid divorce” because I make more money than my husband, who is in a nursing home. Does this happen to other married couples? How can I help my 25-year-old daughter, who has experienced human trafficking twice and keeps returning to her abusive boyfriend? How can we reconcile our adult daughter with my husband? She won’t speak to him because of his past anger and she’s expecting our first grandchild.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Henry discusses his new devotional Renewal and explains how the Fall affected human nature across generations. He shares how modern technology amplifies our dysfunction. I’m 87, and I have a 54-year-old son with special needs. During COVID, the Lord gave us more time together, and now we spend each morning affirming one another. I lost my husband of 60 years almost two years ago; I’m finding it’s a struggle to figure out who I am and what my purpose is at this point in my life. How can I make better decisions by combining faith in God with practical wisdom? For example, if two financial advisers have similar qualifications, but one is a Christian and the other isn’t, how should I decide?

Caller Questions: Dr. Alice shares how borrowing tools from her neighbor, who is like a father figure to her, made her realize she had relapsed into old behaviors of hiding, avoiding, and delaying when she thinks she’s in trouble. Is my secular 12-step recovery group holding me back? I have been clean from drugs and alcohol for 12 years, but a woman in my Sunday School class thinks my secular recovery group is like living in the past. Could my misguided expectations be an example of a generational curse? I have expectations, such as thinking I’m going to get a return on my investment in a relationship. How do I deal with a family member who is struggling with addiction when my significant other disagrees with how we should approach them? I’ve been sober for nine years, and my significant other has been sober for eight.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses the history of Halloween and its connection to All Hallows’ Eve, the evening before All Saints’ Day on November 1. She also shares her tradition of hosting an annual harvest soup party. I’m very discouraged with my marriage; my husband lost his father, and there has been infidelity and alcohol issues. Any advice on how to feel differently? I’m in my mid-60s; sex addiction destroyed my marriage and career, then I ended up in prison. But I found Jesus for real and got help with an addiction specialist!

Caller Questions: Dr. Cloud discusses his newest devotional book Renewal: 90 Daily Readings for Restoring Your Mind, Your Boundaries, Your Relationships, and Your Peace, written to help readers connect with God and identify one area to work on each day. Some people say that something that happened years ago can’t still affect them today. What would you say to them? I’m a single mom; how do I take care of others and take care of myself?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses Joseph’s story, forgiveness, and reconciliation from her book Forgiving Our Fathers and Mothers. She explains why forgiveness takes time and reconciliation requires accountability and healthy boundaries. How can I get my 86-year-old cousin with dementia and cancer into assisted living when she refuses to leave home? I travel out of state every other week to care for her. What should I say to my son-in-law after seeing him shove my daughter? He seems angry toward me, but my daughter says he was in a bad mood, and I’ll see him next week. I grew up with an abusive father who said questioning him was blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, and my mother was neglectful. How can I stop feeling that everyone else is right and I’m always wrong?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky shares that the opposite of despair is joy. Bible verses like Nehemiah 8:10 inspire us to have the joy of the Lord, and she discusses ways to let joy come back into your life. How do I respond to my 30-year-old son’s text about his feelings? He says we kicked him out after he told us he was gay in high school, but I don’t remember it that way. Should I tell my friends about a disturbing, hateful handwritten note I found in their home? My friend is an elder in our church, and I’m concerned about how to bring it up without accusing one of their children. How does childhood attachment affect our adult relationships, especially when we can’t remember what happened in our early years?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice asks: How can parents best pray for their children and their screen time? She suggests 3 things parents can pray for. My husband of four years grew up in a family of manipulators; what should I do to deal with his family, who are all takers? What should I do if the man I’ve dated for 8 years has betrayed me 3 times with an older woman from our apartment building? It’ll be good for 4 months then it turns bad. Should I take on caring for my blind 5-year-old grandson who has been placed into foster care? I’m 68 and already care for my 19-year-old autistic grandson. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and feel burned out after growing up in a narcissistic household and marrying two narcissistic men. I had a panic attack at church that I believe was a spiritual attack. How do I accept that my ex-husband wants to be with someone else after 38 years of marriage? I divorced in February, but I can’t stop thinking about him.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris celebrates his 25th wedding anniversary and shares biblical wisdom for a healthy marriage. Ephesians 5:21 teaches mutual submission, while 1 Peter 3:8 encourages spouses to be like-minded. Chris’s stepfather calls to congratulate Chris and his wife Ember on their 25th wedding anniversary. Would attending Every Man’s Battle make my boyfriend relive his past? When I suggested the workshop to help him, he said he didn’t want to relive his past. I have a genetic predisposition to dementia; would the Amen Clinic help me? I’m in my 60s and getting married for the first time in 25 days. We’re waiting until marriage to have sex.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc discusses how to transform your relationship in 30 days using four rules of engagement. The biggest obstacle may not be your differences, but how you treat each other. I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease 10 years ago, and my marriage was better before my diagnosis. How do I cope with my wife blaming me for having Parkinson’s? A couple in our life group took an Advent wreath I had used in a retreat exercise and joked about it by putting it on the front of our car. How can I trust my abusive, bipolar ex-husband with my kids, one of whom is disabled? He has been violent toward me in the past, including raping me.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses why the phrase “you’re too sensitive” may be a way to dismiss feelings or deflect responsibility. She encourages open communication and taking ownership of our reactions. My 5-year-old grandson has been licking other children, putting kids in a chokehold, and looking under bathroom stalls at school. His parents are divorced, and he constantly has to adapt to change. Should we pull him out of school? I struggle with depression and anxiety and have difficulty setting boundaries with people at my church. I can’t get into therapy until November. What can I do in the meantime? Should I accept my marriage as it is instead of trying to change it? I want to feel close to my wife, but she seems emotionally disconnected.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice shares how a man found relief from schizophrenia after trying the keto diet recommended in Dr. Christopher Palmer’s book, Brain Energy. My daughter was yelled at by her mother, who abandoned her at age 4. Now she plans to marry a man who has moved in with her but isn’t a Christian. How should I handle this? How do I deal with my wife who may have bipolar disorder? We’ve been married for 42 years, and I’m a recovering alcoholic. My adult daughter discovered my husband’s 35-year affair. I believe he ended the affair, but I still feel bitter and hollow. How do I begin to heal?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Laura, a presenter at New Life’s Restore and Intimacy in Marriage Workshops, discusses three common myths about forgiveness that contradict God’s truth, based on John 8:31–32. God calls us to live in truth, not pretend. How do I handle my wife wanting a brand-new home and bigger vacations? I feel like I’ve provided for years, but now it’s not good enough. What will I learn at the Intimacy in Marriage Workshop? Who is the Restore Workshop for? How can I help my 29-year-old son who experiences same-sex attraction? He’s a Christian and says he’s tried not to give in to it.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses the quote she’s heard, “God’s call on your life is so bigger than your ability to miss it.” The seed never looks like the plant. If there’s something you’re struggling with and the plant hasn’t surfaced yet, take hope that God is still working. I’m a single mom of an 18-year-old daughter. She recently moved in with her boyfriend after his parents encouraged her to share an apartment with him. How do I handle her boyfriend pushing her around when he drinks? Last weekend, my ex-husband asked if he could move stuff into my new home, and I let him. Since then, I’ve thought about letting him move back in with me. Should I let him move back in? I’m disabled and stopped working 3 months ago. Where do I look in the Bible to deal with chronic pain?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc explains that our feelings tell us about what’s happening on the inside, but not necessarily what’s happening on the outside. He shares a personal experience that triggered panic; it reminds us that feelings can be good indicators but shouldn’t become dictators. Am I being clueless, or is my husband too involved with a married woman at church who shares her problems with him but not with me? I’m taking a road trip from California to Florida with my 43-year-old lesbian daughter. I want to talk about things on my heart, including our differences and the fact that I won’t be here one day. But she gets defensive, and it turns into a screaming match. I’m concerned about my daughter, who has Asperger’s, and my young grandchildren’s safety because of my son-in-law’s heavy drinking, suicide threats, sexual coercion, and guns left out in the open. Should I request a welfare check?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim recalls visiting his mom in hospice and the last words she spoke to him: that she loved him and was proud of him. Tell someone you love them and are proud of them today. My three youngest children cut me out of their lives when they turned 16. I’m gay and have been married to my wife for 7 years. How can I re-establish a connection while respecting their beliefs that being gay is a sin? I lost my wife 5 years ago to COVID, and I never got to say goodbye. How can I process the grief and loss from her death?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses chronic pain and its impact on mental health, sharing about her son’s experience with long-term chronic pain. She offers the 5-4-3-2-1 technique to help ground yourself. I wanted to share that God delivered me from drugs by reading God’s Word, praying, and praising God. I never went through rehab, but the renewing of the mind through God’s Word transformed me. I’m a 9941 Partner. I came across New Life and have great boundaries with my adult children and 17 grandkids! I understand the importance of family of origin when considering a potential spouse. How do I present this idea to my grandkids? Dr. Jim shares about a woman he recently met who asked how she can forgive her father and heal from childhood wounds caused by his absence, alcoholism, and anger.  

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sheri asks, “What’s the difference between givers and takers?” She explains how takers may be motivated by power, control, entitlement, and personal gain, and explores how love bombing can cause us to overlook warning signs and our intuition. Besides medication, what help is there for my anxiety? I’ve struggled more with anxiety as I’ve gotten older, and medication has become less effective. What do you think about yoga, or do you have any other suggestions? When I was growing up, my mom was a tough cookie; there was no love. Now, as a pediatric oncology social worker, I have to be there for people. Am I giving to be accepted? I’m 72 and suffer from complex PTSD from childhood abuse. I’m the tenth of 14 children and grew up in a shack in the woods. How do I deal with complex PTSD?

Dr. Jim asks, “What’s on your dream list in terms of personal growth?” and shares how his friend Tony, a sociologist, had his students ask people 95 and older about their regrets and what they would do differently if they could live life over again. How can I respond appropriately to our daughter’s boundaries? She recently told us that visits with her and her kids should happen organically, and they feel we’re jealous of her in-laws who live nearby. I’m a 9941 Partner and recently received a little card you sent out with a sheep on it. I can’t listen every day, but I often put the callers on a prayer list and pray for them. Please pray for my daughter’s mother-in-law, who’s fighting for her life. I’m looking for biblical wisdom and a word of encouragement. I’ve been alcohol-free for over 192 days, and I’m using medical marijuana. I’m also doing titration therapy for PTSD and work in commercial fishing and the hospitality industry. I wanted to thank the Lord for getting me off meth, alcohol, marijuana, and cigarettes. I heard you say that however a person can get free from addiction is great, and I got off each one at a time.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris shares how perception can become about performing, impressing, and protecting our ego. Moving beyond perception and admiration into the vulnerability of being truly known can be terrifying—but freeing. I’m negative about work and feel angry, depressed, and overworked. I haven’t received a bonus like others. What can help me mentally? I’m a single guy in my late 60s, a believer, and involved in multiple ministries. But the area where I live makes it difficult to meet quality female friends. How do I stop the negative thoughts that keep me up at night and continue throughout the day? Since retiring after 50 years, I struggle with comparison and feeling alone in our country home when my husband is at work. After 18 years, my husband told me he hasn’t been in love with me for 10 years. We’re raising our 3 autistic grandkids, but ever since he said that, he’s been distancing himself from me and treating me poorly. How do I honor my father when he’s treated me badly my whole life? I’m 67, and he’s 95. My body physically reacts when I hear his name.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill shares DIY strategies for managing rumination, including identifying the root cause of anxious thoughts, journaling, and setting aside a specific “worry time.” How can I humble myself while maintaining healthy boundaries and not becoming a doormat for my wife? After 14 years of marriage, my wife and I argue every day, and I feel like she is constantly punishing and scolding me. I’ve been divorced for 10 years. How do I deal with competitive women at singles events while trying to find the right man for me? How can I break free from masturbation and porn addiction? I’m 60 and have struggled with masturbation, lust, and porn for decades. I can go a month or three without them, but then I backslide.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc discusses how entangled affairs can begin with an emotional connection and gradually progress through personal disclosure, emotional dependence, fantasizing, secrecy, and eventually physical boundaries. I’ve had a lot of operations and take prescription pain medication. Am I going to miss the Rapture because I’m taking it? My sister lives with me, and I became her conservator. She has learning disabilities and schizophrenia. My parents believe she needs more medication, but I don’t. How can I help bridge the gap between my parents and my sister? How do I let go of my childhood sexual abuse? I’m having a hard time letting go of the fact that my mom allowed me to be sexually abused by her boyfriend when I was young.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sheri shares about her mother’s passing on September 2. When her mother was in the ICU, Dr. Sheri was stuck in traffic and talked to her mom on the phone, telling her she could go be with Jesus. I don’t like people bringing personal devices into my home. When my friend rushed out of my house after getting a phone call, I thought it was rude. My boyfriend abducted me at age 17 and took me away from my parents. Could past trauma and grief from losing my parents still be affecting me? I’ve listened to you for over 15 years. Listening to your previous caller, Aurora, talk with Dr. Sheri reminded me of the power of prayer and how the Holy Spirit can work through a phone call. I’m a divorced, single mom who left an abusive relationship. I started a business that is growing, but I’m afraid to leave my 9-to-5 job because I don’t know if I’ll be able to provide for my family. How can I overcome this fear and move forward? How can I encourage my 31-year-old daughter to get married? She is a Christian and has lived with her fiancé for 10 years, and they have two children, ages 6 and 4. I’m concerned that she will not enter the Kingdom of God.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris confesses that he’s not a good confessor and shares how shame and fear made it difficult to talk openly during his early recovery. He also explains the 3 C’s of confession, referencing 1 John 1:9 and James 5:16. We do the 12 Steps one at a time. For instance, we don’t advance to Step 5 until we’ve completed Step 4. Can you explain more about that? I use the acronym O.A.R. to help me become safer in relationships and work through ruptures in relationships. I had difficulty with an elder who is a teacher at my church and prayed for him to teach the truth. He then had to step down after church leaders learned he doesn’t believe in the Trinity. Should I still try to reconcile with him?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky asks, “What’s on your mind?” If you’re like Becky, you may immediately go into fix-it mode, but sometimes we need to talk to someone and bring what’s on our mind to God, allowing Him to renew our mind (Romans 12:12) and help us focus on what is true, honorable, and good (Philippians 4:8). I’m 21yo and live with my mom, who smokes marijuana every day. I used to smoke but haven’t for months, and she still smokes inside the house, so should I get away from it and let her do whatever she wants? My 30-year-old son lives with me and hasn’t seen his children for two years after his ex-wife coached them to make false accusations against him. How should he approach his 7- and 9-year-old children when he begins seeing them again? I’ve been married for 30 years to my paraplegic wife, who says I don’t listen, but I still find her attractive despite not receiving any respect, honor, affection, or touch from her. I have stage 3 Parkinson’s and blood cancer, and my husband of 32 years has become a bully, acting like he’s going to hit me and getting angry while caring for me. I have two children but can’t live with them, so where can I go for help?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui explains that people often confuse understanding someone’s perspective with agreeing with them. You can acknowledge and understand how someone feels without sharing their opinion or approving of their behavior. My son died of an overdose almost nine years ago, and I became close to my granddaughter after his death. She’s now 19 and shutting me out. What can I do? I’m 67 and have lifelong anxiety, and my daughter in Australia wants me to take a nine-hour drive each way for a boating trip. That is too much for me. Should I set a boundary? How do I get my husband to see that our marriage is in trouble? He spends more than 40 hours a week scrolling on his phone, with no sexual intimacy for three years.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). When we have GAD, our brains can link worrying with the belief that we can control things. Typically, it’s the man who wants to be intimate and the woman who doesn’t, but my marriage is the opposite. In 34 years of marriage, I’ve always been the one initiating. How do I honor God and my husband? I attended Every Man’s Battle this weekend after a ministry service representative encouraged me to go. Thank you for giving me a scholarship so I could attend! The hosts discuss men who have developed sexual anorexia within their marriage and how Every Man’s Battle Intensive can help with sexual wholeness. What should I do to reconcile with my sister? She hasn’t let my parents or me visit her in 40 years, except after my father died. She gave my mother a ride 150 miles to her house, and her husband was very rude and abusive.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky asks: How do we repair a relationship? She explains that some people are using AI to replace human therapists, but AI cannot repair a rupture in a relationship. Becky offers practical suggestions for rebuilding connection. My 17-year-old granddaughter thinks her father, my son, is trying to contact her. How do we tell her the truth—that there is a court order preventing him from seeing her and that he has sexually abused children? I just found out my 16-year-old son has been cutting, has had suicidal thoughts, and has had dreams about suicide. What do I do? I’ve been in recovery from sex addiction for 9 years after childhood sexual abuse and other painful experiences, and then my wife divorced me. Should I focus on overcoming my maladaptive coping mechanisms or improving my mental health? Yesterday on the radio, Dr. Jill said your spouse can’t be the only one you depend on for friendship. I’m autistic, so friendship looks different for me than my wife.

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ asks: What areas of your life have you overlooked? Drawing on Proverbs 24:30-34, he explains how the areas we overlook can eventually become like weeds in our lives. How do I process my best friend cutting off all contact with me? We’ve been best friends for more than 15 years, but she sent me a text saying we are no longer friends. How do I cope with the loss of this friendship? What are your thoughts on an acronym I wrote for New Life? I wanted to suggest that my friend meet with a therapist and have her sisters and their husbands meet together to work through a family conflict. Would a family therapist do this? How would it work? My wife of 25 years falsely accused me of having an affair. She used to be a counselor but had to quit and has become paranoid. I recommended that she get a psychological evaluation, but she refused. How should I respond?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc explains how each attachment style can lead to people saying the opposite of how they feel. Ask yourself: What am I actually feeling and what do I want this person to know? Is it unreasonable to ask my son to text me when he gets to his destination when he travels? He seems upset when I ask, but I want to know he’s safe. As Christians, should we accept a wedding invitation from my husband’s female cousin, who is marrying a woman? I feel God is telling me not to go, but I’m concerned about hurting my marriage. How can I help my best friend’s children understand that their father is ready to remarry less than a year after their mother’s death? They were married over 50 years. How do I tell my mom I love her if I don’t really feel like it? I’m upset that she doesn’t acknowledge that she’s failed me as a mother to protect me from my stepfather.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice shares about the miscarriage of her child and discusses where God is when a woman experiences a miscarriage. She also offers practical ways to begin healing after pregnancy loss, whether you are the mother or father. My 45-year-old son is single and has epilepsy. He’s never driven, isn’t married, and has never dated. Having him come live with us will change our privacy and his. How do we navigate this transition and maintain healthy boundaries? Why won’t God reveal Himself to me? I hear people talk about experiences that confirm God is real. Why does He reveal Himself to some people and not others? How can I overcome my doubts about God? I was sexually abused by my mom until I was a junior in high school. I’m 78, and you’re the first people I’ve ever shared this with. Is there anything I can do to ease the burden of this trauma?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Parents, do you know how to talk about the dangers of AI and chatbots? Dr. Alice shares the tragic story of a boy who committed suicide after developing a romantic relationship with AI, reminding us that AI should never replace our relationships with God and other people. I’m a 70-year-old widow, and my husband died when I was 52. Yesterday, when I asked my brother if I could share something with him, he mentioned God and said I had to wait until I was with both him and his wife. My 23-year-old son got his girlfriend pregnant and asked to move her in, but I said no unless they’re married or stay in separate rooms because I feel I’d be compromising my faith. Now he has cut me off, and I feel forced to choose between my son and my faith. I feel like I’m being bombarded with Satan and spiritual warfare on a daily basis. None of the pastors or the eight different churches I’ve gone to can help. My daughter was assaulted, and my siblings forged my signature and stole my inheritance. Where do I turn?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky shares a couple of her favorite quotes, including one attributed to Plato: “Be kind because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” We rarely know what anyone else is carrying, so we have to be careful not to judge. My elderly mother fell and broke her femur two years ago, but she still isn’t doing anything about it. I’m 58, but she treats me like a child and says she doesn’t want me to be alone. How do I handle this so I don’t sound so irritated? My brother and his wife didn’t talk to our 88-year-old mom at a birthday party. It’s been three and a half weeks since they stopped speaking. Should my husband and I intervene? I just started listening to you yesterday! Knowing how much God loves me and who I am in Christ through Scripture has literally made me a different person. My daughter-in-law wants to divorce my son. They have four kids, and it’s getting ugly. What role should I play as a grandpa?

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ discusses the difference between slips and relapses. For example, JJ has been working to change his diet but had a recent slip-up, not a relapse. In recovery, when people have a slip, they often think they’re starting back at zero. But it’s only a minor setback. I went to Every Man’s Battle and wanted to share that within the first hour, you experience a certain freedom. I help with lay counseling and have seen ministers tell women that it’s built into a guy’s DNA to need to have a sexual release, so wives should fulfill that need. I don’t agree with that. What’s the best way to counter that bad advice? My husband has had sexual fantasies about feet, and it has affected my emotional connection with him. He’s also been stealing money from my business. Is this my way out, and does it give me grounds for a divorce? I have a gratitude of thanks for JJ at the last Every Man’s Battle! Afterwards going through the workbook with my wife helped answer her questions.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky shares the challenges of caring for her adult son with disabilities and the constant search for answers. Her pastor recently reminded her that God is with her. In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul reminds us that we have treasures in “clay jars” and may be “pressed…but not…crushed.” I called you about my blindness, and I wanted to let you know that my eyes and depression have been completely healed! I’m dating a woman whose son loves me, but he has a busy schedule. How can I let him know that I want to have a relationship with him? How can I help my best friend whose mom is a financial narcissist? She’s very frustrated that her mom has always been financially driven about who owes her money. Everything in my friend’s childhood has revolved around money. My friend started working when she was 9. I’ve lived with my mom for 3 years. Two days ago, she moved my brother, who is an amputee, into the house. He sexually abused my sister from the time she was 2 to 12. What do I say to him? How do I forgive him?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill explains why remembering 9/11 matters as we mark the 25th anniversary: we honor those who died and remember so we don’t repeat history. Throughout the Bible, God’s people created memorials to remember what God did during difficult times. Remembering a tragedy also honors that part of us that lived through it. My best friend of 40 years has stayed in a miserable marriage with an unfaithful husband for 10 years. They’re deeply in debt, and I’ve given them a large sum of money to help. Am I a terrible friend if I tell her I’m angry, or am I hiding if I don’t? How do I move forward as a Christian with my parents who get offended the minute anyone else does something wrong? My mom didn’t answer my calls after I moved. When she finally did, she just talked about the weather.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui discusses what to do when someone you know is suicidal. My 21-year-old nephew is an atheist, uses substances to drown his sorrows, and has put his hands on his mother more than once. We lost a sibling to suicide, so that might be why my sister is overprotective. The hosts discuss why betrayed women are reluctant to get help for themselves. How do I love and support my 22-year-old daughter without supporting the lesbian lifestyle? My daughter is in a lesbian relationship, and we are Christians who want to love and support her while staying true to our beliefs.  

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses how spiritual discipline helps us become better equipped to handle whatever comes our way. Using Jesus’ example in Luke 6:12, picture a wagon wheel with three parts: solitude, community, and mission. Should I wait for my daughter to make the first move so we can have a relationship? She’s 46, and we can’t seem to find peace between us. She resents that I left New York and her. We moved across the country to be close to my in-laws, but I’m having a hard time with my mother-in-law, who won’t even babysit for us. She doesn’t let my husband’s cousin or sister talk to me unless I mend things with her. Should I be the one to mend the relationship? My 19-year-old daughter is living with a man out of wedlock. Since I don’t agree with her lifestyle, should I stop paying her car insurance?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris discusses how much he loves old hymns. One line from the hymn “Come Thou Fount” that stands out to him is, “Tune my heart to sing Thy grace.” Tuning our hearts to “sing Thy grace” is a daily task. It’s been a year since my son has talked to me. He is gay, and he and his partner lost the home they were living in. He stopped talking to me after I told him I wouldn’t give him any money. He used to take drugs, but his partner has helped him stop. What should I do? My friend has panic attacks and goes to the hospital. She already sees a doctor, and I’m tutoring her in English because she’s from another country. How can I help her? Can our marriage survive a sexless existence? Eighteen months ago, I found out that my husband had been cheating on me with prostitutes for the majority of our seven-year marriage. My husband also has ED.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill shares how waterskiing reminded her of the mind-body connection and the importance of staying active. Nothing stays the same, so keep moving forward! My sister, who is 11 years older, is racist, and she speaks ugly about strangers. I’m white and have 2 black grandkids, so this is especially hurtful. Should I stay or leave my marriage? I’ve been married for 47 years to a narcissist and wonder if God has called me to stay because my marriage is my ministry. After three years in a recovery group, I feel God calling me to lead a Life Recovery Group. How do I maintain healthy boundaries and balance while overcoming my fear of failure? My husband and I have been separated for 3 weeks, and he is living in another state. My OCD has been getting worse.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice shares how more and more parents are seeing their children become disrespectful while still demanding screen time. She offers steps parents can take. My husband will take what I say and switch it to something unrelated, and he’ll relate the conversation to a song he’s heard. He did drugs in his 20s. Did the drugs affect him, and how do I respond to help him see his problem? Do I leave my church because everyone is 30 years younger and I can’t connect? I moved to California from Alaska. My daughter won’t speak to me, and my sons tell me that my faith in Jesus is a fairy tale. Both of my husbands died tragically and I lost a son as a baby. Did my mother’s constant behavior of leaving the house and ignoring my cries cause buried bitterness and resentment in my heart? I was molested by a family member as a young child every time my mother was away from our home.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sheri explains why ambiguity can make us anxious and how a frightening choking incident reminded her that control is an illusion. All we have is right now. Taking life moment by moment can help us manage anxiety and uncertainty. When I read Proverbs 3:5-6, why do I have to trust anyone? It says to trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart. Am I using this verse to protect myself? God didn’t command us to trust in anyone but Him but to love others. I’ve been separated from my wife for over 3 years, and my 18-year-old son with ADHD and learning disabilities lives with me. How do I help him launch? A fear always comes over me at sundown. I emigrated from Mexico when I was 7 and left my grandfather. I think my fear became worse because I always waited for someone to come home as I looked out the window.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice asks, “Are you taking the proven steps you need to get better? If not, why not?” Don’t let fear, ignorance, or pride keep you from facing pain, pursuing healing, and taking God’s steps toward lasting change. How does a young man prepare for marriage and leave behind childish things in a world that is hostile to biblical maturity? I’m in my mid-20s and have struggled with pornography. My three sisters and I all experienced sexual abuse from our older brother growing up. Two of my sisters forgave him, but my youngest sister hasn’t. How can my siblings and I best help her? What’s the best strategy to approach my 22-year-old stepdaughter who likes to eat out and expects us to pay for it? We have a massive tax bill due because of her college tuition. I’m starting to feel taken advantage of.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses how children are being exposed to pornography at younger ages, with some children encountering it as young as age 8. If a parent catches their child watching it, they need to be careful not to overreact and instead be a safe place for their kids. I’m concerned for my 8-year-old daughter’s safety as she lives with my wife, who said she doesn’t want to be a pastor’s wife and asked me to leave. My daughter is now lashing out at her grandmother. How do I handle this? I got pregnant and married at 15. I still feel guilty about disciplining my son when he was 8 and I caught him masturbating. My son has forgiven me, but I can’t forgive myself.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc reflects on how his 21-year-old son’s ADHD made school a roller coaster, activating Marc’s stress system. When it comes to parenting, more is caught than taught; we need to soothe before we solve, to model emotional maturity. Where does ayahuasca come from, and is it addictive? My 35-year-old daughter wants to be a mom and find a husband; she traveled to Peru and took ayahuasca, and her brother died from drugs. How can people move forward after losing someone to suicide? I mentored a young man in foster care who would have been 45 today, but he died by suicide in April. I’m undiagnosed but think I may have ADHD or autism. I tend to be very direct, which can get me into trouble, and I grew up with abusive, unfiltered parents. How do I get through my day?

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ explains primary and secondary boundaries from the Every Man’s Battle Intensive, sharing how he set boundaries around which foods he allows in his home after changing his diet. What secondary “fences” or primary boundaries do you need to set? I’m separated after 34 years of marriage to a covert narcissistic husband, and my adult sons show narcissistic tendencies. Can you give me biblical advice on helping them while grieving the loss of my 22-year-old son to suicide? Any advice on how I can help my angry grandson? He’ll be 17 and wants to live with his dad, but my daughter doesn’t want him to.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill explains how being in a dissociative state can leave you feeling unsafe and vulnerable. While awareness can be painful, leaning into it can help us let go of old defenses that are no longer needed. My daughter is married to a controlling man who threatens her with divorce and doesn’t want to be intimate with her. He only sees their baby for half an hour a day. As a parent, what’s the best advice I can give her? My granddaughter got saved and asked me to baptize her; is it biblical for a woman to baptize? My husband was a pastor who fell from grace, and no one has seen him in 15 years. It’s very hard for me to accept a compliment. When people say nice things about me, I say, “It’s not true.” How can I learn to accept compliments? I’m legally separated, and so is my boyfriend. We’ve been dating for three years and plan to marry after our divorces are final. I’m worried that if I stop having sex until marriage, I may lose him. What should I do?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses the challenges of the sandwich generation—balancing parenting with caring for aging parents—and shares practical tips for managing emotional, relational, physical, and spiritual stress. Remember: self-care isn’t selfish. I’m 61 and have two older sisters. The middle sister is very toxic. As a Christian, how much should I put myself out there when she is very hard to deal with? She insults me from head to toe. My 91-year-old mom has people trying to hack her computer. I had a major financial loss from being hacked myself. I’m really struggling in both the spiritual and physical realm; trust is hard. How should I move forward if I am doing most of the work to heal our marriage? Since the porn has been blocked, my husband is spending like crazy. And a woman at work is buying him gifts. He’s a good man and we have a lot of things in common, but I’m not sure if I should stay.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris explains how judging others can divide us, create an unsafe environment, and keep us from honestly examining our own struggles. Every Man’s Battle Intensive offers a safe, Christ-centered place where men can bring their hardest struggles into the light without fear of judgment. My schizophrenic grandson had a child with a bipolar, abusive woman. How can I help? How can I find the right psychiatrist and help my daughter while respecting HIPAA? She is 35 years old, lives in another state, has two sons, recently got a DUI, and may be struggling with mental health issues. I’m raising my granddaughters, 11 and 12, because my daughter is in rehab for drug and alcohol abuse. The younger one doesn’t seem to show remorse or empathy; how do I handle this? My husband passed away 10 years ago. I don’t want to date or go out, and my family says I need counseling, so I isolated myself from them. How should I respond? The Bible says to mourn up to 30 days, but that’s not me.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc explains that sometimes one partner in a married couple takes sex off the table because they’re resentful and angry. But when sex is withheld, that feels like an abandonment. Sex is not for one person to suppress but for both to address. How do I deal with finding vulgar texts on my disabled girlfriend’s phone from a pastor? I help her with daily tasks. At first, she didn’t tell me the truth, but she now says the pastor forced her to have sex. My son just told me I couldn’t come into his house and that his wife and his granddaughter are his priority. My adult kids caused a rift in my marriage, and I’m divorced now. They treat me like an outcast. I need to let them go. How can I process this family conflict? I lost my husband of 21 years last year to pancreatic cancer and have a hard time moving on. I don’t like to go anywhere by myself, and I’m having a hard time having conversations with the opposite sex. How do I find a counselor? My wife says I don’t have her back. She makes smart remarks back to people and their remarks get very explicit. Then she asks me why I don’t say anything. How do I handle this?

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ shares about the story of Joseph, which he often teaches at the end of the Every Man’s Battle Intensive. Despite jealousy, lies, abuse, slavery, false accusations, imprisonment, and famine, Joseph could say, “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20). I’m struggling with acceptance because shame comes over me. I’d like to move forward. How do you overcome that? I was always told I was a good kid and was a listener, but I never applied it to myself. After hearing my neighbors’ dogs bark for 4 months straight, I called the police and animal control. I feel responsible that it led to an investigation to see if they were also neglecting their kids, and I feel targeted by other neighbors. My wife died 4 months ago and I met a widow in a grief group who recently lost her husband. What should my next step be? I know it’s too early for me to start another relationship. I’ve lost all faith and trust in Christianity. I was an altar boy in the oldest church in America, but it was all in Latin. I’m very discouraged to hear that there are other religions that have very similar stories as Christianity.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice discusses four ways to deal with anxiety and explains how using something cold on the face activates the mammalian dive reflex—an automatic bodily response that may help regulate the body and reduce anxiety symptoms. I’m 51, and my mom is moving in with me and my two teens. How can I set healthy boundaries with my mom? Every time I have to confront her about anything, she cries. How does childhood sexual abuse affect adults? A relative of mine struggles with the effects of childhood trauma and has addictions. She has attempted suicide and sleeps a lot. Her father sexually abused her and her sisters.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alison Cook, psychologist, podcaster, and attachment-style expert, discusses her newest book The Secure Soul and how she wove experiences from childhood into adulthood. She asks the question: What does it mean to connect with yourself, especially the younger version of yourself? What is fueling feelings of insecurity? Where is God in times of trials? What is your definition of the word soul, and how do we know that we need to tend to our soul? I’m struggling at work and feeling lonely. I left work today just for the afternoon because it’s a toxic environment. I overextend myself, and it makes me feel empty. Some people believe the past should be left in the past. Why is it important that we revisit experiences from our childhood and youth?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris discusses scarcity vs. abundance and how feeling unloved in our relationships can make us believe we are unworthy or not valuable. Through gratitude, we can refocus our hearts on God’s goodness and learn to relax into His love today. I’m in my sixth marriage and have been married for seven years. My 73-year-old husband rarely talks to me all day, calls my grandkids vulgar names, and walks away from me. We’re seeing a marriage counselor. Do I stay or go? My husband won’t remove his boots before he comes into the house because he says he’s the leader of the house. I’ve been praying and fasting, but I’m at an impasse with my husband over Ephesians 5. There are other areas where he’s controlling. I’ve been married for 25 years and have nine kids. When I come home, the first thing I do is ask my wife if there’s anything I can do to help her. Even when we fall short, the Lord is there for us. I’ve heard your female callers today talking about how hard their marriages are. Is there anything else we can do to help these women? When is it okay for them to leave, even temporarily?

Caller Questions & Discussion: How can you reduce your “buts”? Marc explains why but can feel like a dismissal or subtraction in conversation, while and can feel like an addition. Learn how pausing before you say but can help you communicate in a way that makes others feel valued and heard. I really want to get healed from people-pleasing. My mom used to tell me not to make enemies. I have a friend who made a racist comment that I want to walk away from but don’t know how. How do I get over it? My wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when she was pregnant. The doctor took a cyst off and put 178 staples in her, and she carried our daughter full-term. This is why someone shouldn’t have an abortion. How would I know if I need to find a different church? I have romantic feelings for my pastor, who is divorced. I find myself interacting with him every weekend and don’t know how to avoid crossing boundaries. My ex-wife called the police because I spanked my son three years ago. What’s my next step? I live in Canada. My ex-wife called the police again, and now I can’t see my 11-year-old son and have to go to court.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses scrupulosity, a form of religious or moral OCD that can cause intense guilt, anxiety, and obsessive thoughts about faith and morality. People may obsess over questions like whether they have blasphemed the Holy Spirit. Therapy and medication can help manage religious OCD and anxiety. Our pastor’s 27-year-old son used to be in church leadership, but he is now in prison for explicit child materials. A little girl in the church told her parents that he had abused her, but the pastor denied it. Should I report it? The church doesn’t know he is in prison. I experienced sexual assault in seventh grade that I repressed for 40 years, and recently my church has hurt me through gaslighting. I’m working through the trauma and unhealthy coping habits, like watching TV to numb myself, while taking medication from a psychiatrist. I have schizoaffective disorder and live with my brother. He doesn’t think I’m doing enough, and I agree. Is a lack of motivation common with this disorder? Whom should I believe when my wife and adult daughter from a previous marriage both accuse each other of gaslighting me?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sheri discusses how she likes to “noodle” after a conversation by trying to figure out what happened. She shares that we often push down our feelings, but we must give feelings space to be included in the room. I heard a show last week about a man whose sister-in-law had gone through treatment for alcoholism, but his wife was still angry. Having been affected by alcoholism, I wondered why you didn’t mention that his wife may also need support from a counselor. My husband has separated from me and leased an apartment. He says he made impulsive mistakes in the past and doesn’t want to reconcile. My kids won’t talk to him. What do I do now? My 64-year-old brother has a history of estrangement from our family. I’m the executor of the trust my parents set up for him. He’s my last living relative. Do I keep reaching out? Your opening meant a lot to me. I have a close friend who is an emotional avoider, while I’m a vacillator. How do I approach a highly emotional conversation with someone who doesn’t place much value on emotions?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui reflects on a therapy program’s 40th anniversary at the school where she works and the importance of taking responsibility for our healing, as (James 2:17) states: “faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” What is an intervention? When is the right time to do an intervention with my alcoholic daughter? Are there any precautions to take? In 2013, I went to Every Man’s Battle and ended up with an awesome friend. I used to make sex an idol, but it’s been a joy now that I don’t turn to pornography to satisfy my desires. My wife of 25 years thinks I’m having an affair with a married woman, but I’m not. The other woman is very touchy-feely, and we’ve gone on ski trips with her and her family. My best friend is a Jehovah’s Witness. How do I guide her to see that her faith is not the same as Protestant Christianity?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Pastor and author Max Lucado joins us to discuss his newest book and explains how the story of Elijah demonstrates the power of prayer. Elijah was human, just as we are, and God wants us to bring our concerns to Him. We should always choose prayer rather than despair. What does it mean to wrestle in prayer? I recently read one of Max Lucado’s devotionals, and it made me think how God had Jesus come to Earth as a human being so we would know He wants a family. I’m in my mid-60s, and I believe prayer should be the first thing we do. What do you mean by “divine disruptions”? What is one thing you hope readers will take away from your book? Whatever drought you’re going through, God has set a time limit for it. Can you talk about that?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice discusses how screens and AI chatbots can draw children into unsafe situations, including harmful relationships and even suicide. Parents and grandparents can help by setting healthy screen boundaries and staying connected with children online and offline. I retired in April after 47 years of marriage and 35 years as a truck driver. I feel like I have a new life and new opportunities, but my wife still controls our finances, keeps the house cluttered, and won’t listen to my ideas. I’m alive, but I’m not living. I’m 31 weeks pregnant, single, and recently moved in with my 14-year-old sister and my mom who calls me names. As a new believer, how can I respond to family disagreements in a Christ-like way? What’s the best way to handle hurt feelings in our relationship with our estranged adult daughter? She mainly agrees to visits when she needs us to babysit. We respect her boundaries, but it feels like a wall is building between us.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill shares how her husband was recently ill and how she had to do a lot of work she normally wouldn’t have to do. Each morning, she chooses gratitude. Our feelings, actions, and thoughts don’t always align in relationships, but we can choose to do the right thing through mutual serving and submission. I live in Canada, and I have an 11-year-old son. I lightly slapped my son and once pushed him out of the way, and my ex called 911. Now I’m under supervised visits. How do I keep from becoming bitter? My children want their dad, my ex-husband with Alzheimer’s and anger issues, to live with me so I can be his caregiver. But I have serious health issues and anxiety too. I don’t feel capable of it and don’t want to, but I’m a people pleaser. How do I discuss healthy boundaries with my girlfriend in a kind and balanced way? She’s from Brazil, and we’re both Christians. I tried to set a boundary on French kissing, but she thinks it’s no big deal. We were referred to a New Life counselor, but my husband gave up on couples therapy. How do I encourage him to go back without sounding like a nag? We’re both very direct.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice discusses how Christians can respond with grace and compassion toward those who experience same-sex attraction. If you have a family member who struggles with same-sex attraction, offer a listening ear and create space for honest, faith-filled conversations. How do I get over my ex-husband? We divorced in 2020, and he now has a live-in girlfriend, but I don’t know how to move on. We have a son together, and my son doesn’t talk to me. I’ve recently seen a major personality change in my daughter, who’s in college and almost 19. We found marijuana in her car. She moved out, and I’m afraid her personality change is related to her mental health. I have ADHD and am trying to navigate leading my family of 8 kids. When I try to express my emotions, it’s taken as a complaint. How do I cope and find love for my wife and family? My 40-year-old stepdaughter has a drinking problem and constantly intrudes into our family. The only time my children get to come over is for Christmas. Now my stepdaughter wants to come for Christmas too. When I said no, it became a mess.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui shares that many men carry overwhelming anxiety when they feel responsible for everyone and everything, which can lead to micromanaging. Micromanaging isn’t always about control–it can be anxiety disguised as leadership. I listened to Dr. Jacqui share on July 24 about having a friend who is sensitive to perfume. I wanted to let her know about NAET, a drug-free method that helped me and my family with allergies and sensitivities. My sister-in-law is an alcoholic who has been to four treatment centers. She is now 90 days sober. My wife is still very angry with her. What’s the best way to reintegrate her back in with the family while maintaining healthy boundaries? My son’s fiancée has been cheating on him for over a year with another man, and he has chosen to forgive her. I want to support my son, but I also want to support my wife, who doesn’t trust his fiancée. How do I handle this? I lost my job in June after working there for 17 months. I’m not sure why I was let go, and I’m struggling to figure out how to move forward and find a new job.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Is technology bringing your family closer together or further apart? Dr. Jim shares digital wellness tips and biblical principles for healthier family relationships. My girlfriend’s son was murdered by his friend. Later, my son started dating the daughter of the murderer, but he eventually broke up with her. How do we deal with this? I’m a pastor and was asked to perform a same-sex commitment ceremony. When I read that “love covers a multitude of sins” but then read that same-sex relationships are a sin, I’m conflicted. How do I deal with my mixed emotions? I got saved when I went to prison, and now I have a wife and eight sons. I wanted to encourage the pastor who called in about whether he should perform a same-sex ceremony to go back to what God’s Word says. My husband of 47 years stonewalls me when he doesn’t want to address an issue. He closes his eyes, clenches his fists, and shuts down. He used to watch pornography and cross-dress. What kind of boundary should I set so I can stay calm?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc shares that depending on one’s attachment style, each person may respond differently to change. Growth always requires a risk. If you’re stuck in a relational cycle of doom, where will you be a year from now? Should I stay in a 36-year marriage when my husband keeps giving his family members money without discussing it with me? Yesterday, I discovered that he’s continued to do it. What should I do if I still get bullied by my ex-husband who divorced me 20 years ago? My 44-year-old daughter spent time in a behavioral health hospital when my ex-husband and I were still co-parenting. But she divorced in April, and my ex’s bullying continues. How do I go about rebuilding intimacy in my 33-year marriage? As my husband has put on weight, is it a medical problem or a mental health issue? I feel like if I talk about it with him, he’ll pull away. My father died three weeks ago, and my brother is the executor for my father’s estate. He won’t let me look at the will; how do I deal with him?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses parental PTSD and how a hijacked nervous system can lead to catastrophizing, overgeneralizing, and rumination. If you struggle with parental PTSD, ask yourself: When did I first feel this way before becoming a parent? I sold my home and invested in building a new home with my fiancé, but he didn’t contribute financially, and the home was destroyed by a hurricane. Now he’s unsure about marriage and wants a prenup. What should I do? I’ve been married for 43 years. My husband is emotionally avoidant, and two years ago he told me he didn’t love me anymore. He’s in counseling now, but we haven’t been intimate for 30 years. I feel stuck and afraid. Is there hope for our marriage? On Mother’s Day, my husband told me he wants a divorce. We have children with special needs and haven’t been intimate for 16 years, but I don’t want our marriage to end. He’s even started improving his appearance. Am I wrong to hold onto hope? When should I expect a call from my boss after being laid off last week? He’s also my friend, and I helped him get the job. Should I reach out?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc shares how to respond when you feel frustrated. Instead of just expressing frustration, identify what you’re really feeling. Discover the emotional need beneath your frustration and what you need to resolve it. My sister and I are in our 80s and 90s. I’m in counseling, but where do I start to begin healing the broken relationship with my sister? Her ex-husband is dying. I was recently diagnosed with autism at 79 years old. Could autism be contributing to the emotional and psychological challenges I’ve been working through in counseling? I’ve been committed to personal growth for many years, including participating in Al-Anon. How do I stop procrastinating about cleaning out a room and closet that desperately need attention? I’m in a relationship with someone who has an avoidant attachment style. The pulling away has been extreme; after being apart, he’s now returned because of nostalgia. Is there any hope? He refuses counseling.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky discusses an article circulating online that asks: Are therapists to blame for family estrangement? About one-third of families believe a therapist influenced the decision. However, most therapists do not encourage family estrangement. Our 24-year-old son is home from college and thinks he can do whatever he wants. We’re trying to set healthy boundaries, but he’s abusing Adderall and dropped out of college even though he only had two classes left to earn his degree. My 36-year-old daughter is taking medication for depression and was advised by her clinic to distance herself from me. Now she won’t let me see my grandchildren, and I just want to spend time with them and have coffee together. Her father was an alcoholic. Besides praying, what can I do to rebuild our relationship? How do I handle my 20-year-old daughter making allegations that her stepfather behaved in sexually inappropriate ways toward her when she was younger? I’m in a Christian courtship. I’m non-denominational, and he’s a Pentecostal pastor. I thought it would work because we’re both Christians, but after two years, I’m struggling with all of the rules and expectations.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim shares that while speaking last week, he reflected on the Los Angeles fires last year. His brother lost his home. In difficult times, he reminds us that one of the best ways to persevere is to deepen our spiritual roots and stay grounded in faith. My daughter found her 14-year-old son’s journal and discovered he wants to change his gender. What can she do? Is my husband right to forbid me from visiting my children or having them come “home” to visit? My husband doesn’t want me to have anything to do with my four adult children and grandchildren from a previous marriage. My husband and I would love to have a relationship with our 10 grandchildren, but it seems like they don’t want anything to do with us. How do we deal with this? My 10-year-old granddaughter says she likes girls and believes she’s therian, meaning she identifies as an animal. She wears ears, a tail, and crawls on the ground. How do I help her?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice shares a recent moment when she felt disrespected by one of her children. Instead of reacting, she used the Comfort Circle to create space for connection and understanding. If you’re struggling with a child who’s disobeying you, use gentle curiosity. I was walking with my friend and noticed she seemed very paranoid. She is involved in ministry, has a son, and believes she is experiencing spiritual warfare, but she won’t seek professional help. How can I support her? Why do I still feel so alone, depressed, and sad? I’ve had counseling in the past for traumatic events like my husband dying unexpectedly 13 years ago, becoming a single mom, and taking care of my mom before she passed away three months ago. My boss often doesn’t complete tasks and leaves responsibilities for the rest of us to handle. I feel overwhelmed and upset; what should I do about it?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice shares that she came from a family that did not meet her emotional needs. So with her spouse and children, she tells them that she needs to hear them say they love her. Whenever the people I’m in a relationship with did three things I didn’t like, I’d ghost them. So it was three strikes, and they were out. But God spoke to me about how I’d feel if I was on the receiving end. I bought a home, but my neighbors are using Ouija boards and are hostile. If it happens again, I’ll probably commit suicide. Why don’t you open up in a word of prayer for each show? If I’m talking to someone, I’m going to pray to set the tone for the conversation. Do frequent visits to the cemetery prolong grief? How can I stop drinking? My husband died after 40 years of marriage. He was my compass, and I’m so lost. I feel like I need a personal assistant. Although my husband is still with me, over the past 26 years of his illness, I feel like I will never accept losing my love when the time does come. I feel stuck.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill shares about a recent baby shower, where guests were asked to give advice to the mom-to-be. Children learn from their primary caregivers. As parents remain calm and create a safe environment, children learn how to self-regulate. I heard the story that when I was just 18 months old, when my sibling was born, I was sent to live with my grandparents for a few weeks. Is this something I should be concerned about if I have no memory of it? I’ve been married to a man who has had 15 affairs or more. I’m in my 70s. He still flirts with women and gaslights me. We never resolved our issues, and I’m the one who gets blamed. What does it mean when he says, “I don’t know you anymore?” My friend has been involved with women of the night, and I’m worried about it leading to sin. How can I help him? He’s living two different lives and even ordered a sex doll.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice asks an important question: What is your default response when you become emotionally dysregulated? While everyone experiences emotional dysregulation, many of us fall into unhealthy coping patterns. Learning to recognize and understand your reactions is the first step toward emotional healing and healthier relationships. What does it mean to be independent in a relationship? When I notice flaws in someone, I completely reject them. I’ve read a lot about codependency, and my parents were physically and emotionally abusive. I turned down 10 job opportunities in other countries so I could spend more time with my girlfriend.  Now I feel unworthy because she has a successful business, and I don’t have a job.  After two years, she’s upset that I haven’t proposed. How can I overcome this terrible feeling of unworthiness? My daughter and her husband aren’t united in helping my 4-year-old grandson resolve conflict. Instead, my grandson shuts down and holds the entire family hostage while my daughter and son-in-law continue to argue.

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ shares the story of hockey player Claude Lemieux, who recently died by suicide after struggling with sex addiction. JJ then reflects on the story of the woman caught in adultery in the Bible (John 8), reminding us that we’re all sinners, and Jesus did not condemn her. My husband has been divorced from his ex-wife for 28 years. She recently texted him and said she is working through Step 9 and wants to make amends. She would like to have a Zoom call with us. How should I respond? How should I prepare? I can’t relax. When I don’t hear from my 26-year-old son, who struggles with alcohol addiction, I go into panic mode. He has been sober for five months now.” I was molested when I was 9 and struggled with addictions. It was on an emergency room bed that I surrendered to God. Now I’ve been married almost 37 years. The work you all do is amazing! God is always there with open arms. I called last week to ask whether my daughter should be undressing in front of her 8-year-old son. My daughter listened to your program, and she’s going to follow your advice! How can I work from, and not for, my identity in Christ when I work in sales? I’m constantly being judged by my performance.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky shares how the apostle Paul wrote Philippians while imprisoned, reminding believers to focus on God even in difficult circumstances. In Philippians 4:8, Paul writes, “Fix your thoughts on what is true…” Becky asks listeners an important question: What is imprisoning you? We went to visit my daughter’s new baby and tried to respect their strict boundaries. For example, when I kissed my grandchild, they asked me not to do that. How do I talk to my husband about the distractions in his life, including pornography, that keep him from facing difficult issues? He needs to find a different job, but he spends his time watching TV and viewing porn. My husband and I have been married for 50 years and have seen 10 counselors over the years, but nothing has helped. He has had a successful career as a photographer and insists on posting photos on social media. I’ve told him that people should sign release forms, but he refuses. What should I do? I’ve been married for 17 years and am visually impaired, and my wife is blind.  She recently developed serious medical issues, and I had to place her in a care facility. How do I navigate this season? It’s difficult, and I miss her deeply.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses how building walls through defensiveness, denial, isolation, and passive-aggressive behavior can damage our relationships. If you’ve been putting up walls, it may be time to start tearing them down. Boundaries shouldn’t build up walls; they should build structure. My wife is struggling with severe nerve pain, and we feel like we’re not being seen or heard by God. Like Job and the man at the Pool of Bethesda, I know we won’t always get answers for the suffering we experience. I’m estranged from my daughter and haven’t been able to see my 8-year-old grandson. Should I stop trying to reach out? She hasn’t returned any of my calls or texts. My husband of nearly 53 years was raised by a difficult mother and struggles with his mental health and sex addiction. When he sees a woman he finds attractive, he fixates on her for hours.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui discusses how we often wait for other people to make us feel valued, important, and cared for. If you’re waiting for someone else to give you a sense of priority or feeling frustrated because you think someone should have considered your needs, ask yourself: When was the last time you considered you? I’ve been estranged from my adult daughter for two-and-a-half years. We didn’t argue; she just stopped talking to me. She wanted me to help care for her daughters, but she suddenly exploded and screamed at me. I have a history of dissociation and unresolved trauma, and I experience muscle-memory responses connected to those painful experiences. Our bodies naturally try to heal and protect themselves. I was serving in ministry, but my husband was emotionally abusive, and I finally asked him to leave. Why does everything feel so difficult right now? My daughter now has to attend public school, and I feel like my life is falling apart. I’ve been married for almost 42 years, and we have a blended family. How can I reconnect with my husband without nagging him? We used to have daily devotions together at a set time, but now he won’t put his phone away.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris discusses Proverbs 3:5-6 and Psalm 37:3. The principles in these passages have helped Chris guide his boys. When we curate God’s goodness, it helps us see the things that truly matter. Trust God, and do good. I’ve had some hurts, habits, and hang-ups over the years. I don’t want to think about the past or return to it because I’ve struggled with drug abuse and toxic relationships. What are my options in my marriage with no intimacy and my husband having an emotional affair? He has a friendship with a married woman who is half his age. But I had a one-night stand. It’s been 8 years since my daughter has talked to me. She is living on the streets after 8 years in the military, and she might be using drugs. Should I pursue her, or leave it in the Lord’s hands? I’ve been living with a man for 20 years, and he lets his daughter dictate the relationship. His daughter doesn’t like me, and he puts his family before me.

Caller Questions & Discussion: JJ shares how he recently came home from a trip and discovered an ominous smell in his fridge coming from old food. He reflects on how, so often in life, things are rotting. Sometimes we have habits that grow stale; other times we have relationships that are developing unhealthy patterns. My 33-year-old daughter is isolated and deeply focused on her desire to marry and have children, often to the point of asking partners for marriage after only a month of dating. How do I help her navigate these relationship challenges? My 16-year-old son is in a relationship, and his girlfriend has borderline personality disorder. What advice do you have as I help guide my son through this situation? Recently, I walked into the bathroom and my daughter was there undressing in front of her 8-year-old son. When I asked about this, she said she wanted to undress to demystify it for kids. Should her son be seeing that? How do I resolve a disagreement with my brother-in-law after I put up boundaries? I went to stay with him to help him recover from surgery, and we had a disagreement over the fan.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc shares about some of the challenges he faced growing up in London during his childhood in government housing, where he experienced violence. He asks: What’s the part of your life you’ve been hoping would be left behind, but you know you’re still carrying with you today? I’m divorced from my husband, who was abusive and is a pastor. Since I covered up the abuse, no one believes me. I was even told in a church that I had a Jezebel spirit. How do I deal with this pain and begin healing? I’m a long-time listener, and my husband went to Every Man’s Battle a few months ago. He returned a hopeful man. My heart is full, and I want to thank you! My dad passed away, and my stepmom took in my 22-year-old nephew who has bipolar disorder and was using drugs. I’m now caring for my stepmom as she gets older, and I told my nephew his pregnant girlfriend couldn’t move in. If my stepmom lets him move back in, I’m afraid for my safety. He’s very angry, and my stepmom says he might hurt me. To your previous caller, my brother has bipolar disorder and has been violent. He has housing. If the caller goes to the Department of Social Services, he might be able to receive benefits.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Sheri explains how co-regulation is experienced as we share our story or become a safe place for others to share. When we share what’s really going on, we regulate our nervous system, reduce isolation, build emotional intimacy, and discover our feelings. I’ve struggled with anxiety and fear for six years after I started having intense dreams. When I tried pastoral counseling and a 12-step group, it was difficult to open up around men. What direction do I take next? Is our mom continuing to be over-critical and demeaning, or is she struggling with dementia? She falsely accused a caregiver of stealing something. My two older children and their spouses are prodigals. What can I tell myself to calm down? For example, if I hear the pastor mention prodigals in church, I start crying because I think about what might happen to them if they don’t come back to the Lord.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill discusses how a bench she had was worn down by water dripping over time. Unfortunately, her dad sat on it and fell. She asks, “What pours into your life? What’s the constant drip in the back of your mind? Are they negative thoughts?” I’ve suffered with depression for 14 years and have tried to commit suicide 11 times. What can we do to help my 11-year-old daughter who has autism and ADHD? She gets anxious because she thinks everything that goes wrong is her fault. How do I get past a heavy emotional event in my family? I adopted my 2-month-old nephew, who was severely abused and had more than 15 broken bones. It hurts me to hear my siblings say I adopted him because I messed up with my own kids. How do I get my family to acknowledge my difficulties living with a husband who has ADD? He emptied our savings account and deposited $14K into a bitcoin machine as part of a scam.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses a conversation he had with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony, who said that if he could give one gift to every couple on their wedding day, he’d give them the gift of “adaptability” because you have to adapt to your spouse’s differences. Ask yourself if the difference really matters. Should I step back and ignore it when my husband of 30 years, who’s a believer, swears and calls people names? It really bothers me, and I don’t know what I should do. I have an adult son that was born after 15 miscarriages; he thinks he has mild autism. Since his dad left and divorced me, my son stopped talking to me. My son has a new girlfriend and baby. He was excited because he wanted me to be involved. But after the baby was born in May, he told me he didn’t want me or his sister in his life.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Chris discusses how fear can drive us in the wrong direction. It moves us away from facing the reality of the uncomfortable life we experience here on earth. Suffering is one way God uses to form us. My 6-year-old grandson might have ADHD; yesterday, he threw a brick at the dog. What should my daughter and son-in-law do? Our 18-year-old son was brought up as a Christian and taught to honor Israel. In family circles, he talks negatively about Jews. How do we have a conversation with him about this? My mom passed away from alcoholism, and my dad continues to struggle with alcoholism. He’s frustrated with me because I’ve been at a dead-end job for 10 years, and he has had to help support me in the past. Should I stop trying to reach my ideal career and pursue a career that is closer to what I’m doing now, like nursing? My 14-year-old autistic grandson is struggling to fit in. He has been very disrespectful toward me and misunderstood what I said to him. Am I handling this the right way?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Lee Warren, a neurosurgeon, shares how he served in the Iraq War, came home with PTSD, and lost his 19-year-old son to a crime that was never solved. He later saw a live brain scan of a woman who was asked to think different things, and he could see her brain react. He was able to make a shift in his own thoughts to heal his brain from trauma. What’s the difference between the mind and the brain? Can self-brain surgery help people who are facing chronic pain or emotional wounds to reduce suffering and develop brain resilience? Could you elaborate on Alzheimer’s and any possibility of preventing it? What is the compatibility of science and faith?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Marc shares some things that couples can do to make a simple shift to transform their marriage. For every negative, you need at least five positive comments or interactions to balance it out. Pray every night, even if it’s a simple prayer. How can I represent Christ well as a female business owner? I run a business out of my home, and I always practice evangelism. As a female designer, it’s very interesting to see what God wants me to do in the fashion industry. My 17-year-old daughter sent me an email, telling me that she is non-binary. How do I respond that God created her as a female without making it seem like I don’t know what she is going through? I’m dating a Christian lady I want to marry, but she just wants to be friends. She takes care of her needy adult son, and I’m afraid she would choose him over me. What do I do?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. John Townsend discusses the three programs at Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling, which are designed for people who work full time. My 12-step group has been studying Boundaries for 6 years; what is the best book for our next group study? Last night my 18-year-old son confessed that he’s addicted to porn and contacted a prostitute and I don’t know how to help him. I caught my 20-year-old daughter trying to sneak out the window at night to be with her boyfriend. Should we confront her? My 59-year-old sister tried to commit suicide on Saturday. It was her first attempt, but she’s wreaked havoc in our family forever by disrupting events and gatherings, and she has been in and out of rehab. How can I set boundaries and help the family? My 39-year-old son was diagnosed with bipolar, and he has kids. He and his wife can be moody, and manipulative; it’s hard to navigate the relationship. How do we stay connected so we can be in their lives?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Becky shares that many of us aren’t truly free, but there are steps we can take to declare our independence and move toward freedom spiritually, emotionally, and mentally. How can I help my adult children reconcile with each other? My daughter told my daughter-in-law every hurt she’d ever caused, and my daughter-in-law called me and yelled at me. I’m in ministry and find myself dealing with people who are on medication for anxiety and depression. When do we trust medication more than we trust the Lord? A lot of our arguments as a couple are because we each have different perspectives. My daughter discovered that her fiancé was texting their mutual female friend inappropriately.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jill shares the story of a wedding she went to over the weekend of a couple who had wandered away from their faith and families. If you’re a parent, remember that God is still at work in your child’s life. What can I do if I have a hard time making medical and dental appointments? Feelings from my past sexual assault keep coming up. My husband went on a train trip for four days and I struggled with being alone at night. How can I prepare to be alone when my husband dies? I have a friend who’s an atheist. How can I be a blessing to him?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Alice shares three effective ways parents can help children develop self-control, especially with technology. “My 34-year-old son is a Christian, but he is in a relationship with a girl who is Jewish and is not a believer.” “I just had a baby and we’ve started setting healthier boundaries with my husband’s parents. We told them not to come to the hospital for the birth, but they did.”

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim discusses relationships that derail because of conflict. The conflict dance starts with tension, and can spiral downward with defensiveness, or it can be positive by going to “we” and leading to connection. Do you think it would be helpful if callers asking for advice would start with repentance? My brother is a bully and I set boundaries at a family gathering. How long do I wait for him to respond so we can have a better relationship? My husband is my 22-year-old son’s stepdad. How can I help heal their relationship after my husband made remarks that hurt my son? How do I handle a conversation with my alcoholic sister who says she is sober, but she sounds drunk and talking cuckoo?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jim talks about creating a media-safe home. Is technology use, especially social media, bringing your family closer together or farther apart? I have two estranged adult kids. I set some boundaries and now I can’t see my grandkids. Should I try to make amends with them? My fiancée’s brother is a drug and alcohol abuser, he is in and out of rehab and won’t get help for his mental issues. His mother enables him; how can my fiancée talk to her about it? Recently my wife left me while I was out of the country and served me with divorce papers. In the past I betrayed her and went to Every Man’s Battle; is it too late to pursue her to reconsider the divorce? Is there hope for my daughter to cope with her verbally abusive ex on a court-appointed parenting app? The app isn’t monitored, so he just says whatever he wants, and she has constant PTSD from his abuse.

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. Jacqui encourages us that it’s not too late to start over again when you’re older. Some of the teachings in our new church make me uneasy and anxious; my 20-year-old daughter is dating the pastor’s son. Is my issue with the church or with me letting go of my daughter? How does one move from shame and guilt over past mistakes? How do I accept my 5-month separation that may be headed to divorce? We have only been married four years. I had childhood abuse, and my wife was bounced between 40 foster homes in her youth. Would counseling or coaching be the better fit for parents of an adult child who is neurodivergent?

Caller Questions & Discussion: Dr. John discusses the three programs at Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling. A 19-year-old boy from my youth group has lived with me for four years, along with other kids. He is extremely traumatized and shut down after witnessing his grandfather murdered by his dad; how can I break through to him? My wife has invited some of her family to live with us and it’s cramped and not what I agreed to. I know God hates divorce; what do I do? My young teen grandson is viewing porn and his sister is sexting. We will be visiting next week and taking care of them; how can we help them? I am in my 70s, live alone in a motor home, and have lost everything precious to me, including my daughter dying of a fentanyl overdose and my dog who was accidentally killed. How do I deal with my grieving?