Pablo Torre Finds Out

Is Jerry Seinfeld complaining about the culture wars, or just the fallout of mid TV? What's the deal with books? And what happens if Charles Barkley becomes a free agent? Plus: machetés, memoir titles and the return of Dan's favorite tile-matching castle video game. Further reading: The Scholar of Comedy (David Remnick) No One Buys Books (Elle Griffin) Charles Barkley: The Richest Free Agent in Sports TV History? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jon Bois, the internet's most creative documentarian, somehow uses Google Earth to take you on a journey from Viking longships, to Bob Gibson, to Ross Perot. His new docu-series, REFORM!, is the forgotten story of political quacks, wonks and clown cars. Its lessons are just as relevant today as they were in the '90s — in large part because some of those same cranks are still around, daring us to remember how we got here... and why we can't escape. Watch REFORM! https://www.patreon.com/SecretBase Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the early 1970s, two pitchers for the New York Yankees agreed to the wildest trade in sports history: They switched wives. And children. And furniture. And pets. But this sex scandal cut way deeper than the tabloid headlines. David Mandel — veteran writer for Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Veep and The Simpsons — laments his big-screen adaptation that never was... even though the ultimate passion project could have starred Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. And we go deep inside a story that's equal parts swinging and missing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How are so many people still falling in love with fake people online? What happened to all the sh*thead kids? And is cable TV somehow making a comeback? Plus: poopy, boobies, Billy Koch and flipping the puck to the fat kid. Further reading: The TV Show That Predicted America's Lonely, Disorienting Digital Future (Maya Salam) The Undertaker: A Seven-Year-Old Named Bjorn Threatened to Shoot Me in the Face and Called Me a Democrat (Jeremy Lambert) Americans' New TV Habit: Subscribe. Watch. Cancel. Repeat. (John Koblin/Goblin) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We find ourselves at a rare moment in human history, facing an undefinable industry worth trillions, which happens to be concentrated in the hands of a few billionaire stewards like the doomsayer Elon Musk, the evangelist Sam Altman and MMA enthusiast Mark Zuckerberg. Are they just super-villains plotting our own destruction? Washington Post columnist Josh Tyrangiel’s entire beat is artificial intelligence. So we ask him to contemplate the odds of extinction — and why A.I. might just cure James Harden's addiction to strip clubs. Further reading: How A.I. Could Transform Baseball Forever Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A viral video of a weeping Caleb Williams, the top prodigy in this week’s draft, “scares the sh*t out of a lot of NFL teams.” So correspondent Dave Fleming breaks out the tissues — and a stack of research — to discover what the science of crying disproves about the pseudo-science of scouting; why a Super Bowl locker room was like a scene out of “The Notebook”; and how even the Darth Vader of football (allegedly) choked up. Plus: Domonique Foxworth names names — and changes our basic understanding of the most masculine of sports. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Comedian Dan Soder has come a long way since the seeds-and-stems days of kitty-litter gravity bongs. After quitting drinking and cigarettes and tethering many super-high people back to Earth, he has — at least temporarily — taken a weed sabbatical, ahead of the amateur holiday for dorks. His fiancée and Pablo... not so much. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you want to trace the normalization of weed in sports and America, there is no better ambassador than NBA champion and "All The Smoke" host Matt Barnes. Taking gravity-bong rips to go full "Teen Wolf" in high school? Check. Beating drug tests in college and, uh, having a narc watch him pee — and poop! — during a test in the NBA? Yeah. Smoking with Woody Harrelson on his head coach's balcony, during the playoffs? Really. But the NBA came late to the cannabis party, as "more than half the league… from the superstars to the rookies" got caught in pro basketball's race-baiting, steroid-fearing war on drugs. In a new era of acceptance, marijuana might just help hoopers stop the next Kobe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pablo has unearthed a long-rumored, previously unpublished, for-your-eyes-only video from the summer of 2010, featuring a committee of A-list New Yorkers recruiting free agent LeBron James to the Garden. It may feature one of the biggest revelations in TV history, but let's just say — between a couple former politicians and another convicted rapist — that this tape has aged very, very poorly. Knicks superfans Jason Concepcion (@netw3rk) and Rob Perez (@WorldWideWob) gaze into the ark of the covenant... and cringe. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's one of the greatest TV shows in America right now: The Caitlin Clark effect of being David and Goliath at the same time. Angel Reese's ability to provoke and emote. The wisdom and 4D chess of Dawn Staley. And yet, for a TV writer and stand-up comic who's been evangelizing the women's game for decades, this season has been like showing a friend The Sopranos for the first time. Having witnessed March Madness and in anticipation of next week's WNBA Draft, Morgan Murphy and Pablo determine that the ensuing hot takes from sports media's "empire of garbage" may signal that normalization is here to stay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Should you believe astrologers who only say what you want to hear? Is there a better way to enjoy life with Gmail, if you're not at Inbox Seven? And what happens when you stop "living nowhere"? Plus: The Strip-Mall Chain Institution Draft, deodorant, Brozempic, tree-knocking, and Other Pablo. Further reading: Sports Astrology (Andrea Mallis) Happy 20th Anniversary, Gmail. I'm Sorry I'm Leaving You. (Ezra Klein) What the Suburb Haters Don't Understand (Julie Beck) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sports video games pride themselves on their simulation of reality. But the most popular ones that Americans know and love — Madden, FIFA, NBA 2K, MLB: The Show — cannot compete with an intensely specific and uniquely important game called Football Manager. Which got so good at simulating soccer that it converted a worldwide army of real-life players, coaches, and executives into genuine obsessives — changing the multi-billion dollar soccer industry itself. PTFO’s London correspondent, Kieran Morris, embarks on a global quest to explain the Football Manager revolution… and jeopardizes his impending marriage in the process. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How should we react to sex scenes now? Has MrBeast mastered the modern algorithm? And what is the secret formula to ultimate beauty? Plus: Dan's secret iPad game addiction, Papi's hairy belly and dirty fantasies of Quin Snyder. Further content: The Death of the Sex Scene (Sophie Gilbert) The 'Beastification of YouTube' May Be Coming to an End (Taylor Lorenz) $INCEL Technology Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pablo's detective agency is back, with serious #journalism for the internet's most burning sports questions: Can halftime acrobat Red Panda get into the Hall of Fame? (Yes! But only with your help.) Why are athletes so good at spitting? (Yuck.) Where did "juicing" start? (Double yuck.) And will "One Shining Moment" ever be replaced? (Wait for it….) Sign the Red Panda petition NOW: https://www.change.org/RedPandaHOF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mat Ishbia is a housing tycoon, and he was supposed to insulate the NBA's house from disgrace. But eye-opening new reporting from investigative startup Hunterbrook Media alleges that Ishbia's company became the country's largest mortgage lender with "a lie." Hunterbrook's Sam Koppelman examines how the owner's competitive management style parallels his approach to basketball and why Ishbia could even be forced to sell the Suns, while Pablo explores how Ishbia's childhood hero — Isiah Thomas — fits into how both the Suns and United Wholesale Mortgage have been operating, behind closed doors. Further reading: "The Lie That Made UWM America's Largest Mortgage Lender" (Hunterbrook Media) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the greatest writers in America has a new book, "There's Always This Year," that is ostensibly about LeBron James. But this bona fide MacArthur Genius contains multitudes — and big feelings. About sneakers; sunsets; his probation officer; the revelations of pick-up basketball; Game Sevens; the meaning of "making it"; and why it's totally fine to jump in the air without a plan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What do pickup artists get totally wrong about successfully attracting women? Should you get a QR code on your gravestone? And did the three of us make a horrible, horrible mistake by talking about our old blogs in public? Sarah Spain, Charlotte Wilder, and Pablo discuss. ALSO: Mystery's sun necklace; scouting HB9's; crossfit; why your twenties are overrated; Pablog; gender dynamics in media; and the Dan Orlovsky of incels. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Think about the thing you’ve practiced more than anything else in the world. Maybe it’s painting. Or writing. Or playing the piano. Now imagine you wake up one day and you just can’t do it. You’re not sick. You’re not injured. But that one thing is impossible. It’s called the yips, and even the most talented people in the world experience it. What could cause them to lose their superpowers? And is there anything they can do to get them back? Today, a special bonus episode from our friends over at Unexplainable, a Vox Media podcast that explores scientific mysteries, unanswered questions, and all the things we learn by diving into the unknown. New episodes of Unexplainable are available every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pablo convinced Katie Nolan and Amin Elhassan to do something he’s wanted to do ever since PTFO launched: play Spider-Man 2 using the giant LCD screen that normally sits right behind him. And have an entire conversation — about punching through Ikea furniture; Rocket League; AOL screen names; multitasking; the Spider-Man canon; and our personal journeys through video games — while doing it. Which is all to say that this episode is a bit of an experiment. And you can watch it all on our YouTube channel, please: https://www.youtube.com/@pablotorrefindsout Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rex Chapman, former Great White Hope and author of the new memoir "It's Hard for Me to Live with Me," traces the fading of an endangered sports species, from his personal history as a basketball prodigy in the American South to the rise of the international game. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s been years since these three friends saw each other, in person. Or even virtually. And so it is our distinct pleasure to relive Pablo’s second-favorite thing that happened during the pandemic. As well as Amin’s most recent global viral humiliation, which now comes with important religious context. And also the digital foundation of Katie’s eternal love for Dan Soder. ALSO: being left on read by celebrities; Crazy Puffs; hand abstinence; the Chinese government; and vaguely racist voice filters. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The death blow to the NCAA won't be dealt by college athletes unionizing, as historic as that movement is. It will come from a seemingly anonymous man named Jeffrey Kessler: an attorney who also happens to be the greatest sports lawyer of all time. Kessler has fought for everyone from Tom Brady to the U.S. women's national soccer team — and now, after winning in front of the Supreme Court, he's busy changing the very nature of college sports. Pablo invites Kessler into the PTFO studio and pressure-tests whether college athletes could finally wrest what's allegedly owed to them: billions, plural, in past damages from the NCAA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is the line beyond which we need to say Aaron Rodgers shouldn't be taken seriously? And why won't crows pick up trash? Plus: Bone Tomahawk, Inspectah Charles Johnson, the QAnon of architecture, and Project Acoustic Kitty. Further reading: RFK Jr.'s VP prospect Aaron Rodgers has shared false Sandy Hook conspiracy theories in private conversations (Pamela Brown and Jake Tapper) Here's all the dumb sh*t Aaron Rodgers recently said on a conspiracy theory podcast (Sean Keeley) The Magic of Bird Brains (Ben Crair) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The story of the NBA cannot be told without Oscar Schmidt, the most prolific scorer in the history of the world. But that hasn't stopped our fellow Americans from trying to do exactly that. So today, with LeBron James on pace to break Oscar's record of 49,737 career points, Pablo travels to glorious Orlando, Florida and sits down with the legend who refused to play in the league, despite getting drafted. And we find out why Oscar's impact on basketball — like his laugh — still echoes through the game today.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Prepare yourself for the warm glow of late-'90s nostalgia: In the era of boy-band supremacy (and a little Korn), the 'TRL' countdown was America's high-school cafeteria — a daily election of cool for youth culture. Until one fateful day in music history, twenty five years ago this week, when a chain letter set off a movement to hack the vote. Correspondent Yourgo Artsitas examines whether MTV's shadow government was protecting the the sanctity of our culture... with a lie. Learn more: https://trolldoc.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What can we learn from the power-grab by NFL prodigy Caleb Williams and his stage dad? Why does Pablo always feel so bad about saying "no"? And how does one begin to argue better? Plus: Uncle Dennis, giant babies and literally sticking to sports. Further reading: Caleb Williams and Team Intend on Owning the Process (Kalyn Kahler) https://theathletic.com/5301341/2024/02/28/caleb-williams-quarterback-nfl-draft-ownership/ The Mind-Boggling Simplicity of Learning to Say 'No' (Leslie Jamison) https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/28/well/mind/saying-no.html Overwhelmed? Just Say 'No.' (Arthur C. Brooks) https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/02/saying-no-science-happiness/677579/ How Happy Couples Argue (Derek Thompson) https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2024/02/how-to-fight-conversation-advice/677594/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How did the only person who’s ever won multiple Pulitzer Prizes for Criticism develop his sense of taste? Who needs a movie review when we’ve got Rotten Tomatoes and streaming algorithms? And do we even have real movie stars anymore? Wesley Morris, New York Times critic at large, makes the case for professional criticism over customer service. (And why Stephen A. Smith belongs to the proud tradition of camp.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The legendary basketball coach has made a comeback at St. John's, which paints him as a role model. But Pitino's past has only become more and more mysterious, beyond the Adidas bribery scandal, a love triangle and so-called Strippergate. Correspondent Tim Rohan speaks to the private investigator who gave Pitino a lie-detector test... then gets a bizarre letter, a late-night phone call and a trip down a rabbit hole that leads all the way toward dirt on the Clintons and the federal investigation into Donald Trump. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A PTFO listener sends Pablo on a mission to figure out which athlete-branded booze is best. Is it James Harden’s wine? Steph Curry’s bourbon? Can we finally end the LeBron v. MJ debate with a tequila tasting? Pseudo-expert Katie Nolan and real expert Jason Wilson help Pablo get drunk very quickly, and also get to the bottom of whether athlete alcohol is delectable or douchey. Also: spitting, dumping, loam, and a champagne HR violation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is sex a performance-enhancing drug? Pablo and Domonique insert themselves into the debate over "post-nut clarity" with exhaustive research, from a pre-game onesome in the locker room and abstinence as a coaching philosophy, to the stamp of approval from Drake, Megan Rapinoe and actual doctors — Pablo's dad included. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Do you trust the sanctity of data and proof of objectivity? What if we told you that a guru at the forefront of the analytics revolution... had cooked the books of the NBA, to boost stars of the Jordan era? Correspondent Tom Haberstroh confronts a statistician with an invisible hand — and reveals that the pumping-up of our historical record is more widespread today than even nerds like Pablo had accounted for. The human element, after all, can always grease the wheels. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve found a dose of optimism amid America’s exhausting gun debate. And it’s located in the incredible life story of Jason Kander: a former Army intelligence officer and political prodigy, knighted by Barack Obama himself, who had to drop out of politics, entirely. But now, one week after the mass shooting at the Kansas City Chiefs’ Super Bowl parade, Kander — a fifth-generation Kansas Citian — tells us how the gun industry’s biggest scam is also its greatest legal strength. And why one relatively unknown piece of legislation, the Protection of Lawful Commerce in Arms Act, is the key to changing everything. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why did Jennifer Lopez self-fund an allegorical $20 million “movie” about her life? (And why did all three of us watch it?) How good are we at the Dutch art of doing nothing? (And should we reimagine the concept of “something”?) And, finally, who’s on our personal Enemies Lists? (And why is it FS1’s Nick Wright?) Further reading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Osu2N9gysYk https://variety.com/2024/film/features/jennifer-lopez-this-is-me-now-musical-film-ben-affleck-love-story-1235908364/ https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/feb/07/the-art-of-doing-nothing-have-the-dutch-found-the-answer-to-burnout-culture https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/17/well/bed-rotting-hurkle-durkle.html Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's easy to shot-shame a player at the free-throw line and athletes who throw funny. From the depths of that bullying and loneliness, though, a revolution is brewing, with adaptations so innovative that they may shame sports themselves. Pablo goes bowling with Jason Belmonte — the two-handed Tiger Woods of the lanes — and learns how to succeed in life while looking kinda stupid. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is Tom Brady just going to be a cranky bastard in the broadcast booth? Is Jon Stewart just SUPPOSED to be a cranky bastard on The Daily Show? Will Joe Biden just inevitably be the cranky bastard we need for democracy to survive? And have group chats replaced hanging out? Further reading: Why Americans Suddenly Stopped Hanging Out (Derek Thompson) Return to Bullsh*t Mountain (Sam Adams) For Voters, When Does Old Become Too Old? (Nate Cohn) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It was either everything that's right or wrong with America, but the very public relationship between Scottie Pippen's ex-wife and Michael Jordan's son is very much over — deleted Instagram posts, passive-aggressive polls, and all. Miserable Pablo and cowardly Cortes take a victory lap, revisiting how they may have triggered the biggest celebrity breakup of the year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

America's stratospheric sports power couple joins our Valentine's Day episode — part unnecessary couples therapy, part post-retirement exit interview — with down-to-Earth perspective on marriage, kids, the evolution of acceptance, the limitations of love language, and how to get some in a long-distance relationship. Plus: Trump, kneeling, the tragic humor of a career-ending injury, the metronome ringing in an athlete's brain, and the joy of not working out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pablo's detective agency is back, just in time for Super Bowl Sunday, with the face-melting concert that puts Usher to shame, the flag-football fantasy draft, the most shameless celebrity endorser of all time, and yet more shameless content for the Swifties. Plus: That @ArtButMakeItSports guy has gotta be using A.I., right? What does Pablo's laugh sound like? And is the Miami Heat mascot on drugs? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're all desperately seeking self-improvement, so Pablo puts aside the spiritual mumbo-jumbo, puts his friends to the test, and emerges with something like service journalism: how to breathe correctly, exercise better, appreciate your career choices, accept failure, thank your feet, and learn to love your own superpower. (Even if that superpower is using a Jedi mind trick to singe your own thumb down to ash.) Further reading: The World's Happiest People All Share These 15 Things in Common (CNBC) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jet packs! Double kickoffs! Protest! The helmet-less, hungover superstar with a dynasty at stake! A killer game clock! Unconsciousness! The first Super Bowl was a sh*tshow. So why hasn't anyone seen it? Because the footage vanished for a half-century, only to resurface — with a million-dollar bounty — from an attic in Shamokin, Pennsylvania, and get thrown in a vault under lock and key. Until correspondent Devin Gordon entered the time machine to witness the progenitor of Travis Kelce, feel the primordial ooze from which Taylor Swift may have been formed… and, yes, to open a Playgirl centerfold featuring a man called The Hammer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the right wing ganging up on two huge things — Taylor Swift and sports itself — precisely because they're huge? Can you go with the flow and still be productive? Why is Elmo — and the internet — making us so sad? Plus: Dan Le Batard's screaming female orgasm. Further reading: Why Is the Right So Weird About Taylor Swift? (New York) How to Have a More Productive Year (The New Yorker) Elmo Asked an Innocuous Question (The New York Times) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Float like a butterfly, sting like... a standup comic? Sixty years ago, long before the current golden age of smack talk, a 21-year-old Cassius Clay was nominated for a Grammy, for what should be considered the first diss album — a poetic, heavyweight takedown of Sonny Liston in the lead-up to their epic 1964 title bout. Andscape's Justin Tinsley tracks how this forgotten record led to the name Muhammad Ali, to national conversations around Black Muslims, to Ali protesting the Vietnam War, even to the birth of hip-hop... and the prevention of tooth decay. Further reading: The Grammy-nominated Cassius Clay (Andscape) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At a time when so many are struggling with the regulation of expression, from Elon Musk's X to college campuses to the workplace, why did mixed-martial arts, of all things, rebrand itself as America’s leading bastion of free speech? Ariel Helwani, the sport's preeminent journalist and host of The MMA Hour, traces an evolving policy — from getting censored himself to a homophobic rant going viral — and explains how UFC boss Dana White has made a fortune in the name of “freedom.” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The third installment in the historic trilogy that is Katie Nolan vs. Celebrity Jeopardy! is a real journey. A journey through word games, organic chemistry, and love itself. Also: video game injuries, Woke Rodney Dangerfield, and not that Lisa Ann. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For all of the Aaron Rodgers-ization of psychedelics, they remain revolutionary, and the co-creator of Chapelle's Show turned standup comic has the ultimate endorsement: Sure, Amazonian plant tea might make you cry for two hours after drinking it with Chris Rock. But ayahuasca is a mental-health medicine that will also help you fall in love and, you know, feel the presence of God. So relax about the throwing up. Fear not the toad venom, and embrace the white void before the Big Bang. Ignore the football players yammering about "ego death," and consider the possibilities of a road-to-Damascus experience. Or not. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Quarterbacks yell it. Gamers revel in it. Bros text memes and hashtags of it. And as displayed on live TV in the NFL regular season AND playoffs, even Travis Kelce's girlfriend loves it. How did a simple phrase transform from a Jumbotron clap-along into such a ubiquitous exclamation? With apologies to Tom Brady and Lil Jon, correspondent Jeremy Taché searches for the real GOAT of "Let's Go!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pablo Torre is known for finding out about things, but in this episode, The Cooligans find out about him!  We're hyped to have fellow Meadowlarker and host of Pablo Torre Finds Out, Pablo Torre, join the show! Pablo, Christian, and Alexis discus Pablo's beef with Marcus Jordan and Larsa Pippen, getting roasted by Dan Le Batard, and being racially ambiguous to other Latinos and Asians. The guys also tease Pablo for his lack of soccer knowledge on ESPN and debate whether it was worth it to miss Messi's first Inter Miami goal for some chicken fingers. Exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/SoccerCooligans This is where we put everything we shouldn't say 😉 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He is one of the most talented stand-ups in America. But Roy Wood Jr. is also of the most deliberate thinkers about his craft. Roasting Joe Biden? Nerve-wracking as hell. Hosting an awards show? Like performing for LeBron in the locker room before Game Seven. The former Daily Show correspondent explains the affirmation of not succeeding Trevor Noah, the Taylor Swift-proof takeaway from Jo Koy's Golden Globes monologue, the point of getting booed, the power of free jokes... and how he almost ended up as a baseball umpire. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who was the human inside the viral bowl-game mascot, and is said mascot still alive? We investigate VERY seriously. Plus: Why are so many women drinking out of the Stanley cup? And what does your depth chart of friends look like? Also: aggressive familiarity, the most arousing mascot alive, raccoon hands, Gronk's beach party, and Pablo's Pogs. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/g9h-AbjQaXQ Related (non-beastiality-adjacent) content: Thirsty after you catch on fire? (TikTok) What your water bottle says about you (The Los Angeles Times) How much time does it take to be a close friend? (The Wall Street Journal) The buddy boost: how 'accountability partners' make you healthy, happy and more successful (The Guardian) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From LeBron to Deion and Wall Street to Washington, one pervasive term has come to encapsulate a human desire for domination. Correspondent Bradley Campbell heads into the wild — with aerial wolf-hunting, bespoke bear-drugging, and more — to discover that the science behind the "alpha" … is based on a mistake. The new truth, however, may teach even and especially the most gentle among us how to become better leaders. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Cx8spsfoUjo (If you are having thoughts of suicide, you can call or text 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How does Katie keep dominating at trivia on national television? Is it vase or vahhze? And what in the Nick Saban was that young man doing stuck in an urn? Plus: animal idiom brainteasers, the road warriors of handsome, Kristi Yamaguccimane, going Fahrenheit 451 on "Wings," and climbing the Mortal Kombat totem pole that inevitably leads to Ice-T. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7uRc7SbVbkw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

He could be drawing up plays for superstars, after interviewing with the Boston Celtics, Toronto Raptors, and more. But the ESPN commentator and "Old Man & the Three" podcaster has been leading a group of middle-schoolers in Brooklyn, with the same passion and perfectionism that he brought to Duke and then 15 seasons in the pros. If you thought you hated JJ Redick, just wait 'til you get inside the greatest mind in the history of fourth-grade basketball. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/5m4OQBOhfOM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A battle over academic freedom is boiling over, beyond Harvard, and Florida governor Ron DeSantis and his cronies have already taken over one college in their effort to win the culture war. But the wildest part is how they're weaponizing an absolutely enormous baseball team to do it. Correspondent Jeb Lund reports on accusations of unconstitutionality — and mascot duplicity — at his alma mater, with a warning about how right-wing activists might use their sports blueprint next. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/IqNPY0pnQ2E Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is Travis Kelce the most famous player in the NFL? How much should you miss booze during Dry January? Where can you get away from everything? Should you trust anyone with really nice teeth? Plus: dorky cussing, human fists, Big Masseuse, 16-beers-deep Chris Cote, and a casual aside about allegedly murdering your roommate. Further reading: Kicking the Habit (Slate) The People Who Brought You Travis Kelce (The New York Times) They Sold Everything to Go on a 3-Year Cruise. How It All Unraveled. (The New York Times) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/17UhD1blqNE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Underground in a Bond-esque bunker. Inside a private club with a league commissioner. Across the table from an executive with a parrot on his shoulder. And, finally, at the courthouse for a global legal drama centered around "a corrupt organization" operating "outside the law": This is how Pablo's boss at Meadowlark Media — and the former president of ESPN — went from a high-stakes, handshake deal... to a knock on the door from the feds... to becoming a government witness. Also: the future of the World Cup, and yachts. Lots and lots of yachts. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Gwo4X8XTAVw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

They were raised to chug whipping cream and turn every meal into an all-you-can-eat buffet. But somehow, America’s most popular New Year’s resolution is most embodied by the extreme transformation of none other than offensive linemen. In retirement, these pioneers of gluttony have reverse-engineered themselves physically but also evolved mentally. And as former 315-pounder Mike Golic Jr. peels away the layers beyond the six-pack, with reflections from former colleagues Joe Thomas and Nick Hardwick, he reveals that sustainable personal change goes way beyond the weight. (If you are having thoughts of suicide, you can call or text 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/hl8b1iYP5c8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the Denver Broncos crumble all around Russell Wilson, the superstar quarterback has never been more fascinating. Or more unknowable. But Nate Tice was Wilson’s backup, roommate, and occasional speechwriter at the University of Wisconsin. And to hear these college confessions — about a shirt-tucked, Timberlake-loving try-hard, who is possibly from outer space — is to finally understand the weirdest athlete on Planet Earth. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This year, Emmy-winning screenwriter Cord Jefferson (Watchmen, Succession, The Good Place, Master of None) has become a major Oscar contender for his directorial debut movie, American Fiction. So we wanted to ask Cord the truth about awards, competitiveness, race, external validation, and happiness. Also, the Men In Black soundtrack. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4O3jaJ1TN94 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You may remember him as the paternity-test king of fever-pitch daytime television. But this renaissance man has seen it all — the JFK assassination, Waco, a woman who's afraid of aluminum foil — and he has emerged an optimist. Climb into your TV for wisdom on courage, vulnerability, and reassurance from the OG who held up Pro Bowlers at practice... and introduced the world to Cotton Ball Man. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pablo only understands the true meaning of making this show, not the holiday season. So the ghosts of Christmas break pay him a visit, to pay it forward with recommendations for reality shows and Christmas songs, plus an important investigation into the truth about Santa Claus. May bonus content bless you, everyone. PTFO-approved xmas playlists: Charlotte Wilder's Christmas-Song Christmas Songs Cortes's Holiday Mix Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/DlGMJ4GO7Oo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

"Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse" is the PTFO Movie of the Year™ but how does all this comic-book content feel so new, when constraint is supposed to be the mother of creativity? Also: Will Marvel explain away Jonathan Majors? Can you actually draft an all-white Pro Bowl roster, with so much "reverse racism" against cornerbacks? And how can we all be a little nicer next year? Further content: "I'm sick of average white guys commenting on football...." (@R_Mendenhall) The Spider-Man Problem (Planet Money) Marvel, Disney drop actor Jonathan Majors after he's convicted of assaulting his former girlfriend (AP) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4hiz7wbx6ws Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You may remember Smush Parker from his very public, lopsided beef with the late Kobe Bryant, but there is so much more to the arc of Smush's life story — from being a toddler raised inside "The Cage," in New York City, to bringing up the ball right before "The Malice at the Palace" began. And now, it turns out, Smush Parker is committed to another shocking quest: become the fourth former NBA player, ever, to become an NBA referee. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ZWFEMq7prXc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if the afterlife sounded like a pro wrestler? Does Vivek Ramaswamy have the nuts for a pay-per-view debate with Pablo? And how the hell do you get out of a gym membership? Plus: enormous dildos, dong tennis, cock-adjacent merch, Harry Houdini's quads, and several special ringside appearances. Further reading: NJ Bill Would Allow Consumers to Cancel Gym Memberships Online and Easily (Asbury Park Press) Using A.I. to Talk to the Dead (The New York Times) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-SwgmSvrpwU Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As a teenage prankster crashing the football transfer window, Kieran Morris juiced the Wikipedia page for an obscure player across the globe, and word spread from London to the MLS of a legend in the making: The Honduran Maradona. Ten years later, our correspondent finds out what really happened to Alexander Lopez. (Adapted from an episode of Sports Explains the World) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-QzVmd8TEjw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hersh Goldberg-Polin was devoted to an Israeli football club fighting for peace. Supporters of its rival include far-right Israeli politicians like a national-security minister hellbent on war — and a racist mob. If you want help understanding the Israel-Hamas conflict, Hersh's abduction by terrorists is a window to the world. Correspondent Amos Barshad interviews his loved ones and finds a silver lining. (Read the companion article at The Lever) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/R0IoouIfXNc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why are we allowing the most flagrant liar in American politics to shamelessly Cameo-wash himself with direct-to-consumer content? Is it so unreasonable that Shohei Ohtani isn't handling his free agency like the American sports media wants him to? And about that sports media: Are the olds — and words — about to get left behind? (Plus: farts in a jar and the ballad of the teacup Maltese.) PTFO-approved reading: Shohei Ohtani's Secretive Free Agency Is a Missed Opportunity for Him and MLB (Buster Olney) How Gen Z Is Killing Sports Media as We Know It (Alex Reimer) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/puOmElQS7R8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The comic, actor, and Daily Show correspondent/president shovels out content with the best of 'em. But he also believes in bombing onstage to learn the optimum level of failure. He believes in using anger to win over an audience — or to find a new favorite team, or to find love. Ronny Chieng believes. Also: watching thousands of hours of Patriots documentaries, torrenting "Around the Horn," dialing up NBA Live, getting Covid based on your fandom... and the best foul-mouthed Bill Belichick impersonation you've ever heard. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/fX5AnWhP65s Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A fierce debate — about no less than the meaning of intelligence itself — has broken out in the world of football scouting, as star quarterback C.J. Stroud puts together one of the best rookie QB seasons ever... after bombing the new Wonderlic test. But can this S2 Cognition exam actually predict how your brain impacts athletic performance? Pablo puts himself to the ultimate test of mental agility, with a little help from Alex Smith — and with a LOT of expletives. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/inuwR73XKw0 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No conference-championship weekend in the history of the College Football Playoff has higher stakes than the one upon us right now. And so we turn to John Urschel — newly liberated CFP selection committee member; ex-NFL lineman; and current MIT mathematician — to shed the cloak and drop the dagger. And we learn what actually happens, behind closed doors, as hordes of furious fans demand the favor of a cabal that might be more Office Space than Eyes Wide Shut. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/EjkxEv7nIBY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the Sports Illustrated A.I. scandal dystopian, funny, or just plain sad? Depends whether you think art has a soul. Are champion athletes predisposed to addictive tendencies? Depends if you think you've gotta be a workaholic a$$hole to create great art. And what's with that commercial for a futuristic hostel on the NFL games? Depends if you're willing to live in a fake utopia. Plus: powdered wigs, Piña coladas, chum buckets, bone saws, flying cars, Faulkner, DiMaggio, the Michael Jordan of being present, and a parliament of owls. Further PTFO-approved content: Sports Illustrated Published Articles by Fake, AI-Generated Writers (Futurism) An Addictive Personality Can Facilitate Sporting Greatness — but What Are the Consequences? (The Athletic) This Is NEOM (YouTube) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8FFp_wqjs5o Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Who runs Magic's extraordinarily earnest Twitter account? Is Wu-Tang really that good at chess? Just how racist is the Oklahoma Sooner mascot? Is Victor Wembanyama the end of human evolution? Also: cotton balls, buttholes, and trolls. You asked, we investigated — with a little help from Rob Lowe, Method Man, Masta Killa, and Killers of the Flower Moon author David Grann. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zAJhIrX1vBs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Politicians don't want transgender people dominating girls' sports. But Ember Zelch just wanted to play softball, and nobody else seemed to mind. She was, after all, the ONLY trans girl officially even PLAYING girls' varsity sports in her ENTIRE state. Pablo travels to Ohio to learn why Ember fought for her right to love sports anyway. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pablo investigates a story including, but not limited to, a Duke basketball champion, a World War II treasure hunt, an alleged con man, Bob Marley, Dan Snyder, and an attempt to make history by purchasing the Washington Commanders. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The FTX founder was a "martian" to the sports world. Why did he spend so much on arena naming rights and superstar endorsements? And how the hell did SBF become friends with TB12? Authors Michael Lewis (Going Infinite) and Zeke Faux (Number Go Up) witnessed the rise and fall of a crypto king. Now we can do the postmortem: “Moneyball, on steroids, gone wrong.”  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is Bill Belichick now the grandfather you need to take the car keys away from? Is OnlyFans just selling loneliness? Is OnlyDans a thing? And how close did Dan get to death's door on ketamine? Also: a rooting baby, the jist, and premature dismounts.  PTFO-approved reading: Inside an OnlyFans empire: Sex, influence and the new American Dream Bill Belichick Is About to Get Fired, and Nobody Cares What If Psychedelics’ Hallucinations Are Just a Side Effect? Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xpwLxtAbVnU Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What happens when restaurants become gas stations and farts disappear? You don't take food or fragrance for granted, especially around Thanksgiving. David Samson — host of Nothing Personal, gourmand, notorious lover of candy — didn't back down when Covid robbed him of his senses. He adapted, with phantom taste buds and a hedonistic calculus change to make his brain start tasting for him. He even took a Michelin-star vacation to Italy. And he put hot sauce on pretty much everything. So, of course, Pablo challenged him to the ultimate tasteless taste test, courtesy of Hot Ones. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/f3udcjwHpHU Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The former co-host of Desus & Mero is also a former strip-club manager, crackhouse re-builder, domain-name seller, dead-rat picker-upper, and, by his own admission, a bit of a sad clown. Now, after the end of a beloved duo, "Hollywood Desus" wants to do every job in entertainment as a soloist. Plus: joints in the stairwell, porn in the library, NYC mayor Eric Adams in the club, robots in the kitty litter, how to use therapy as an operating system, and how to export the misery of being a Knicks fan. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/YhydpKJHrkE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Action Bronson raps, cooks, paints, hosts, and acts (for Martin Scorsese, at least). He also has philosophical explanations for why A) he never wears pants, B) his go-to move is the headbutt, and C) nothing is better than a VHS tape. But Action Bronson had still never heard of the Accidental Bronson tribute account. Until now. Plus: AOL screennames, robot vacuum murder, and saggy balls. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Y8o52aFn1Wc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can magic mushrooms help you see God? Are parents more of a danger to their kids than the world? Are we creating a garbage patch in space? Plus: Courtside seats with Jesus, CrossFit vs. witchcraft, bunnies vs. predators, Master Splinter, and mattresses. Lots and lots of mattresses. Also: When we flush, where does the poop go? Further reading: God, Magic Mushrooms, and Me (Esquire) Childhood Independence Is a Mental-Health Issue (The Cut) Befouling the Final Frontier (The New York Times Magazine) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/QUDvY5Ls_Eo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Johnny McEntee went viral before virality, as a trick-shot QB at UConn. He foresaw the rise of Donald Trump, while ordering him KFC on the campaign trail. He was straight out of central casting, but suddenly "Johnny Mac" the quarterback became enforcer-in-chief for the commander-in-chief, running a presidential "Gestapo" and hand-picking cabinet secretaries. Correspondent Devin Gordon meets a Trumpworld action figure and asks: How did this in-over-his-head loyalist get so powerful? And could it happen again? Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/JZGb3Z3Qk68 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Would you clone your dying dog? Why are burner accounts still a thing? And how much do you REALLY care about what other people think about you? Also: Stephen A. Smith mispronouncing Pablo's name (twice), Dan sobbing shirtless in a convertible, and Pablo defending the relative scale of his narcissistic, psychopathic Machiavellianism. Further reading: Are Pet Cloners Happy With Their Choice? The Atlantic HBO Bosses Used ‘Secret’ Fake Accounts to Troll TV Critics Rolling Stone The Sociopaths Among Us — and How to Avoid Them The Atlantic Dark Triad Personality Test (If You Dare) Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/xZvtRCuNdPs Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This fall, Emmy-winning screenwriter Cord Jefferson (Watchmen, Succession, The Good Place, Master of None) has become a major Oscar contender for his directorial debut movie, the forthcoming (and deeply funny) American Fiction. So we wanted to ask Cord the truth about awards, competitiveness, race, external validation, and happiness. Also, the Men In Black soundtrack. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/4O3jaJ1TN94 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's Shakespearean. It's Freudian. It's a Greek myth with a Real Housewife. Yes, sports fans: Marcus Jordan and Larsa Pippen are getting married. But are they just a reality-TV couple engineered to goose the algorithm? Or is this true romance? Pablo, Cortes, and "Oddball" host Charlotte Wilder listen to their podcast so you don't have to... then confront the Romeo and Juliet of our time with the awkward and essential questions about Michael and Scottie. Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/VOaPwe6d0W8 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the NBA's TV bubble about to burst? Is how we consume sports about to change forever? Hear from the man who reshaped the business itself. Plus: Who’s to blame for our misinformation minefield? And what the hell happened to retirement? The jamokes from The Sporting Class explain. PTFO-approved reading:  House of Strauss: I'm Not Sure How the NBA Triples Its Rights Fees in a TV Recession https://www.houseofstrauss.com/p/im-not-sure-how-the-nba-triples-its Vanity Fair: Inside the New York Times Debate Over Its Gaza Hospital Bombing Coverage https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2023/10/new-york-times-gaza-hospital-story The Washington Post: Older Americans Are Dominating Like Never Before, but What Comes Next? https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2023/10/24/older-americans-working-longer-aging-impact/ Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/GsSzvwXkpLE Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Next week, the White House is releasing the first executive order on A.I. in U.S. history. So we asked David Epstein, bestselling author of Range and the best sports-science writer in America, to explain the state of our union. And what humans can do that the best computers still cannot. Even though A.I. still might, uh, wipe out 10 percent of the global population. Plus: Why robots need to be more like First Take — and why our future depends not on humans or computers... but a centaur playing chess. PTFO-approved reading David Epstein's Range: https://bookshop.org/p/books/range-why-generalists-triumph-in-a-specialized-world-david-epstein/12472879 Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/zbgKzE7SztI Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The most important Joker on the court isn't Nikola Jokic or Novak Djokovic. Indeed, the most popular tattoo among our sports heroes is a villain, and PTFO correspondent Wyatt Cenac is here to interview them about it... as Batman… with a mask on. Could Joker Mode become the new Mamba Mentality? Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Sc3d9M3jLGI Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why did Ariel Helwani, our planet’s leading combat sports reporter, use ring girls as human shields at a televised Logan Paul melee? What video game is Katie Nolan mostly living inside? Do you remember the time The Rock actually broke the news that Osama bin Laden had been assassinated? And more. PTFO-approved content: https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/shams-charania-nba-insider-the-athletic-new-york-times-profile.html https://www.theparisreview.org/blog/2023/10/16/were-more-ghosts-than-people/ https://arielhelwani.substack.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The author of the definitive new book on gender in sports, Katie Barnes, explores how The Right ran up the score on progressives in a political messaging war — then offers a modest proposal, from pronouns to hormones and statehouses to schools, that most sane people can agree upon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Michael Schur is a legendary comedy writer who calls his TV reboot of the classic baseball film "the best thing I've ever written." (He's written for SNL, The Simpsons, The Office, Parks and Rec, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Good Place...) So why didn't his version of "Field of Dreams" ever get made? Also: what happened to the actual baseball field that he built, out there in the cornfields of Iowa? Sports-movie nostalgia has never felt quite so painful. Or surreal. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it feel like to kick a$$ on a game show? Like an athlete in the Albanian brain zone who can't do math. Why doesn't Bill Belichick have to defend his conditional genius? Because we owe him the benefit of sudden doubt. Are you convincing yourself that you don't need therapy? You gotta place your vulnerability somewhere, you know. Plus: Pablo's Process (again), Christopher Meloni's mad energy, Dan's digestive tract... and some tears. PTFO-approved content: Final Jeopardy!: Rallying Cries https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YEqEYAxvo4 If You Think Robert Kraft Wouldn't Fire Bill Belichick, You're Wrong https://theathletic.com/4950228/2023/10/11/new-england-patriots-bill-belichick-robert-kraft/ What I've Learned: Patrick Stewart https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/books/a45328198/patrick-stewart-what-ive-learned/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You may remember him as the paternity-test king of fever-pitch daytime television. But this renaissance man has seen it all — the JFK assassination, Waco, a woman who's afraid of aluminum foil — and he has emerged an optimist. Climb into your TV for wisdom on courage, vulnerability, and reassurance from the OG who held up Pro Bowlers at practice... and introduced the world to Cotton Ball Man. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Quarterbacks yell it. Gamers revel in it. Bros text memes and hashtags of it. Even Travis Kelce's girlfriend loves it. How did a simple phrase transform from a Jumbotron clap-along into such a ubiquitous exclamation? With apologies to Tom Brady and Lil Jon, correspondent Jeremy Taché searches for the real GOAT of "Let's Go!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What really makes coaches good at motivating players? Why does Captain America long to be a dog? And how infuriated is Domonique by Pablo’s case of Content Brain? Also: secret notebooks, celebrity friendships, and (figurative) ball-licking. PTFO-approved reading: https://theathletic.com/4926881/2023/10/03/alabama-football-nick-saban-coaching-style-players/ (Kennington Smith III) https://www.gq.com/story/chris-evans-october-cover-profile-2023 (Zach Baron) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That guy from Parks & Rec, The Afterparty, and Sonic the Hedgehog has a side-hustle superpower: playing point guard at long-form improvisation. He and Pablo also happened to lose way too much money on NBA Top Shots of Miles Bridges and Bismack Biyombo. Plus: Why Blake Griffin isn’t just funny for an athlete and why Kobe never would’ve made it in comedy. Oh, and a mid-interview poo … and a post-coital orgy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the inaugural edition of our non-mailbag mailbag, Pablo answers audience voicemails with the truth about his TV doppelgänger, Stugotz's bong hits, A-Rod's centaur, Stanford's mascot, poisoned Miami Heat fans, and one of the greatest sports tweets of all time. Are you looking for answers? Call (513) 85-PABLO Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One year ago, Draymond Green detonated the Golden State Warriors dynasty with a single punch at practice that left a million takes in its wake. Now, Oscar-winning filmmaker Ezra Edelman has an explosive "tip" — the insult you can't hear in TMZ's viral video — to test the bounds of Pablo's journalistic ethics... and set off the sports-media screaming machine all over again. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does it feel like to watch football at an NFL head coach's house? Should you really be posting photos of your kid? And... all praise to the scammers? Also: ghost takes, flying slices of cheese, swampa$$ as a resting state, and what happens to the food on reality shows. PTFO-approved reading: If I Embarrass My Baby on TikTok, Will He Stay My Baby Forever? (Amanda Hess) https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/25/arts/babies-cheese-eggs-tiktok.html Gen Z Falls for Online Scams More Than Their Boomer Grandparents Do (A.W. Ohlheiser) https://www.vox.com/technology/23882304/gen-z-vs-boomers-scams-hacks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the Denver Broncos crumble all around Russell Wilson, the superstar quarterback has never been more fascinating. Or more unknowable. But Nate Tice was Wilson’s backup, roommate, and occasional speechwriter at the University of Wisconsin. And to hear these college confessions — about a shirt-tucked, Timberlake-loving try-hard, who is possibly from outer space — is to finally understand the weirdest athlete on Planet Earth. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Deshaun Watson is playing terribly. Does that make it easier to talk about his sexual-misconduct scandal again? Russell Brand is mid-scandal right now. Will his following follow him everywhere? And in happier news: Yes, even if you don't have a kid, you can still be friends with people who do. Further reading: Deshaun Watson Not Acting or Playing Like a Franchise Quarterback (Michael Rosenberg) https://www.si.com/nfl/2023/09/20/browns-deshaun-watson-not-acting-playing-like-franchise-quarterback The Uncomfortable Reality of Tyreek Hill's Success (Mina Kimes) https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/18446978/the-unavoidable-dilemma-talking-kansas-city-chiefs-tyreek-hill Can Parents and Childless People Be Friends? (Allison P. Davis) https://www.thecut.com/article/adult-friendships-vs-kids.html Russell Brand Accused of Rape, Sexual Assaults and Abuse (Rosamund Urwin, Charlotte Wace, Paul Morgan-Bentley) https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/russell-brand-rape-sexual-assault-abuse-allegations-investigation-v5hxdlmb6 Russell Brand: In Plain Sight (Dispatches) https://www.channel4.com/programmes/russell-brand-in-plain-sight-dispatches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices