Relationship Advice

Free 10 Day Couples Challenge Try Relationship Academy When your partner walks through the door in a bad mood, do you immediately wonder what you did wrong or rush to fix it? Taking your partner's emotions personally turns their everyday stress into relational friction, forcing them to manage your reaction on top of their own feelings. In this episode, we unpack the shift from carrying emotional responsibility to offering true empathy, giving both of you permission to feel. Main Talking Points: Personalizing Versus Empathy Unpacking Emotional Responsibility Breaking Fixing Cycles Tolerating Partner Discomfort Reducing Emotion Layers Frameworks Over Scripts Secure relationships aren't built on avoiding uncomfortable feelings, but on cultivating the capacity to tolerate and hold space for them together. Real connection happens when you allow feelings to be felt without making them about you. Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get The Founders Rate For Relationship Academy Get $100 off Spark My Relationship Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Free 10 Day Couples Challenge Try Relationship Academy Why do we so often find ourselves repeating the same painful relational patterns even after promising to choose differently? In this episode, therapist and author Jessica Anne Pressler joins us to unpack how early protective survival strategies can evolve into adult self-sabotage. By shifting our attention from dissecting a partner's flaws to understanding our own internal boundaries, we move away from reflexive self-abandonment and step toward deep self-compassion and relational security. Main Talking Points: Unpacking Internal Self-Sabotage Reframing Childhood Coping Mechanisms Navigating Narcissistic Relationship Dynamics Overcoming Relational Self-Abandonment Cultivating Deep Self-Awareness Integrating Protective Inner Parts Healing begins not by fighting the parts of us that try to keep us safe, but by offering them the self-compassion and internal leadership they were always looking for. Connect with Jessica Anne Pressler: Jessica Anne Pressler's Website: https://www.jessicaannepressler.com Jessica Anne Pressler's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicaannepressler Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join us in Relationship Academy to continue the conversation! ⁠ 7 day free trial and then get the founders rate of $25/month Take Dr. Heller's Free Attachment Quiz Clean out your closet by downloading VINTED for free! In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter talks with Dr. Diane Heller about anxious, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized attachment patterns. They explore why these patterns are often intelligent survival strategies—not character flaws or relationship “red flags”—and how early relational wounds can shape the way people experience closeness, conflict, and love. Dr. Heller explains that everyone has an innate capacity for secure attachment and that understanding these patterns can help partners respond with more compassion instead of blame. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Free 10 Day Couples Challenge Try Relationship Academy When everyday friction is automatically read as a lack of effort or affection, couples often get trapped in painful, defensive loops. How do we move away from assigning negative intent and toward honoring the literal differences in how our brains process the world? In this episode, we unpack how neurodivergent traits—like executive dysfunction and sensory processing differences—can show up in relationships, and how framing these realities through the lens of individuation creates a path toward genuine safety and collaborative connection. Main Talking Points: Executive Functioning Differences Cognitive Processing Variances Sensory Profile Mismatches Interoceptive Sensation Nuances Mono Tropism Rigidity Unmasking Relational Safety The goal isn't to force a single, shared reality onto two different minds, but to build enough safety and curiosity to accommodate the unique ways you both navigate the world. Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join us in Relationship Academy to continue the conversation! 7 day free trial and then get the founders rate of $25/month In this episode of Quick Advice, Colter and Cayla jump into why one partner might just say "I feel bad" rather than tapping into the emotion they are actually feeling. It can be frustrating for both partner! Let's discuss. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Free 10 Day Couples Challenge Try Relationship Academy How often do we stay trapped in repetitive relational friction, assuming the answers lie entirely within our overthinking minds? In this episode, author and intuitive consultant Laura Day joins the show to demystify intuition as a grounded, practical tool for human connection. We explore how moving away from protective internal loops toward actionable, embodied behavior can rewire our relational dynamics and build deep, mutual clarity. Main Talking Points: Demystifying Everyday Intuitive Data Rewiring Relational Trauma Patterns Goal-Driven Non-Local Communication Embodied Action Over Overthinking Cultivating Mutual Relational Value Redirecting Unproductive Internal Dialogue True connection does not require managing another person's reactions; it unfolds when we ground ourselves in actionable clarity and let concrete experience reshape how we relate. Laura Day's Website: https://lauraday.com Laura Day's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lauradayintuit Laura Day's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/LauraDayCircle Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TRY RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY FOR FREE Dr. Sue's Website Let's discuss why energy feels off and why saying the right thing doesn't always lead to the outcomes we want. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Free 10 Day Couples Challenge Try Relationship Academy Why do couples so often fall into standoffs where one partner needs emotional closeness to feel physical desire, while the other needs physical touch to feel emotionally open? In this episode, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) trainer and author George Faller joins us to unpack how stress, polyvagal state shifts, and distinct attachment cycles govern relational dynamics. By learning to slow down protective reactions, partners can reframe relational friction into a doorway for true emotional and physical intimacy. Main Talking Points: Navigating High-Stress Trauma Polyvagal Brain States Intersecting Attachment Cycles Decoupling Relational Brakes The Crisscross Pattern Externalizing Negative Cycles Intimacy is not about eliminating relational friction, but about creating enough safety to reveal the deeper longings hidden beneath protective defenses. When partners slow down and face these cycles together, the body and heart naturally return to connection. George Faller's Website: https://www.georgefaller.com George Faller's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fallergeorge Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

GET $100 OFF SPARK MY RELATIONSHIP Free 10 Day Couples Challenge⁠ Olivia's Website Let's talk about the three components of charisma, why it differs from liability, and how you can learn it! Give Me Discounts! ⁠Kiwi Fodzyme⁠ - Get 30% off your first order!  ⁠Tanasi⁠ - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠⁠ review in iTunes⁠⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Free 10 Day Couples Challenge Try Relationship Academy Can artificial intelligence ever truly replace the messy, necessary friction that defines genuine human intimacy? While emerging technology promises seamless interactions and shortcut solutions to interpersonal conflict, relying on smooth algorithms can quietly erode the reciprocity and vulnerability required for deep bonds. In this episode, tech journalist Bridget Todd joins the hosts to discuss navigating AI in our personal lives while maintaining authentic connection, intentional transparency, and personal agency. Main Talking Points: Human Versus Artificial Intimacy Value of Relational Friction Prioritizing Transparency and Consent Preserving Genuine Reciprocity Corporate Extraction Concerns Reclaiming Personal Agency True relational health doesn't come from outsourcing our emotional labor to algorithms, but from actively choosing presence and honesty amidst life's friction. When we prioritize mutual effort over algorithmic convenience, we protect the depth and safety that make human connection irreplaceable. Bridget Todd’s Website: https://www.bridget-todd.com Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order!  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Normally $197, you can access for a limited time by only paying $25! FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠⁠ UNFAITHFUL MINDS VINTED - Download and start turning those extra clothes into cash ⁠⁠⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠⁠⁠ review in iTunes⁠⁠⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is the partner who constantly pushes for conversation actually protecting your relationship? While pursuers often get labeled as demanding or hyper-vigilant, their relentless focus on connection holds vital lessons for withdrawing spouses. In this episode, we explore how shifting from defensive withdrawal to active engagement turns relational friction into a catalyst for deeper safety and intimacy. Main Talking Points: Modeling Emotional Vulnerability  Addressing Relational Conflict Prioritizing Intimate Connection Asserting Authentic Needs Practicing Emotional Co-Regulation Overcoming Avoidant Cycles True relational growth happens when we stop viewing pursuit as an attack and start letting our partner's strengths refine our habits. When you embrace the pursuer's drive for connection, friction transforms from a source of anxiety into a shared pathway toward safety. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ Would you get rid of fear if you had the choice? In this episode, we explore what fear actually is, why it exists, and how it affects us both physically and psychologically. We also discuss the evolutionary purpose of fear, when it becomes maladaptive, and how tools like mindfulness, deep breathing, cognitive reframing, exposure, therapy, and journaling can help us regulate and process fear in healthier ways. In this episode: Understanding the Purpose of Fear The Fight-or-Flight Response Physical and Psychological Fear When Fear Becomes Maladaptive Regulating Fear and Anxiety Processing Fear Through Growth Give Me Discounts! ⁠Kiwi Fodzyme⁠ - Get 30% off your first order! ⁠⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠Tanasi⁠ - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠⁠ review in iTunes⁠⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Check out Relationship Academy!  Why do our deepest relationship conflicts have the power to make us feel like children again? In this episode, we explore how interactions with partners and family members can activate old attachment wounds, causing us to regress into familiar patterns like protesting, people-pleasing, shutting down, or pulling away. We also discuss why healing can initially make these dynamics feel even harder—and how therapy, co-regulation, boundaries, and greater self-awareness can help us respond from our adult selves and create healthier relationships. In this episode: Childhood Attachment Wounds Regressive Relationship Patterns Protest and Shutdown Healing Through Therapy Practicing Co-Regulation Becoming Your Adult Self Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Check out Relationship Academy!  Dr. Tony Nader joins the podcast to explore ideas from his book, The Power of Caring, and how deeper self-awareness can transform the way we connect with others. He explains how our mind-body tendencies, subconscious patterns, and inner state influence communication, emotional needs, and conflict within relationships. By caring for ourselves and approaching others with greater awareness and compassion, we can create healthier, more meaningful connections. In this episode: The Power of Caring Conscious Self-Awareness Mind-Body Differences Subconscious Patterns Compassionate Communication Deeper Connection Dr. Nader's Website Dr. Nader's Instagram Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing?? *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren ______________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Check out Relationship Academy!  Why do the same conflicts keep showing up in our relationships, even when the surface issue changes? In this episode, we explore how everyday disagreements can activate childhood attachment wounds, leading us to protest, withdraw, or protect ourselves from connection. Learn how self-awareness, co-regulation, and healing relationships can help you respond from your grounded adult self and create deeper emotional safety. In this episode: Attachment Wounds Childhood Origins Defensive Patterns Co-Regulated Connection Healing Relationships Healthy Individuation Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge⁠ ⁠Check out Relationship Academy!  Healing attachment wounds begins with understanding how early relationships shaped the ways we seek connection, respond to conflict, and protect ourselves from rejection. In this episode, we explore how insecure attachment patterns can show up in adult relationships—and why healing requires more than simply finding the “right” partner. You’ll learn how self-awareness, emotional safety, consistency, and new relational experiences can help you build a more secure way of connecting. In This Episode: • Understanding Attachment Wounds • Recognizing Protective Patterns • Creating Emotional Safety • Practicing Secure Connection • Healing Through Relationships • Building Lasting Trust Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge Check out Relationship Academy!  In this episode, we talk with Stefanos Sifandos about how old wounds, relational patterns, and emotional reactivity can shape the way we show up in love. He shares why healthy relationships require self-awareness, repair, and a willingness to take responsibility for the patterns we bring into connection. This conversation explores how couples can move beyond blame and create more honest, grounded, and lasting intimacy. Main Talking Points: - Relationship Patterns - Emotional Repair - Inner Work - Healthy Conflict - Deeper Intimacy - Personal Responsibility Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rhythm - Get 15% off + Free shipping the world’s easiest at home blood testing ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Check out Relationship Academy!  Today we dive into Relational Injuries! Relational injuries come in all kinds of relationships and we will cover what it is, and how it happens. We explore the distinction between relational injuries and typical relationship challenges. And we will teach you how to recognize when a situation escalates to a relational injury. Once we know what relational injuries are, we will discuss the expectations of having relationships with other people. We will dive into the way to manage expectations and have a healthy ability of navigating injuries effectively as they come. We will walk through the way to apologize and take responsibility for the way that we didn’t meet a need in our partners, along with the role of accountability and remorse in the healing process; teaching clear communication and how to rebuild trust and intimacy at the same time.Listen to our therapists’ role play some examples of painful responses to a partner expressing their missed need, as well as an example of the “right” kind of response. Speaking of intimacy, we will walk through the concept of the intimacy pyramid as a framework for rebuilding intimacy after a relational injury.And finally, we will cover how to move forward. How we find hope after relational injuries, and we will share proven strategies for rebuilding trust and connection. Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rythm - Get 15% off your first month + free shipping! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge Check out Relationship Academy!  In this episode, we explore what pursuers can learn from withdrawer partners instead of seeing them as the “problem” in the relationship. Withdrawers often bring steadiness, pacing, self-regulation, and a needed reminder that not every issue has to be solved immediately. When pursuers can appreciate these differences, couples can move out of blame and into a more balanced, secure connection. Main Talking Points: Slowing Down Self Regulation Energy Conservation Selective Needs Healthy Individuation Grounded Stability Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rhythm - Get 15% off + Free shipping the world’s easiest at home blood testing ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

FREE 10 Day Couples Challenge Check out Relationship Academy!  In this episode, we talk about what trauma treatment actually looks like and why healing is not as simple as “telling the story” or getting the memory out of your brain. Trauma is not only stored as information. It is often held in the body, in our nervous system, and in the protective responses we learned in order to survive. Because of this, effective trauma work usually requires more than talking through the details. It requires pacing, safety, resourcing, body awareness, and learning how to stay connected to yourself while approaching painful material. We also explore why therapists may not always ask for every detail right away, how trauma responses can show up in relationships, and why healing often begins with compassion for the parts of us that adapted to protect us. Give Me Discounts! Rhythm - Get 15% off + Free shipping the world’s easiest at home blood testing ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you know when someone is truly the person you want to build a life with? In this episode, we talk about the big question so many people ask in dating: How do I know if they’re “the one”? We share how we each knew with our own partners, then walk through the real-life markers that can help you understand the long-term viability of a relationship. In this episode, we explore: Shared values Emotional support Healthy conflict Lifestyle fit Hard conversations Intentional pacing The goal is not to find a perfect person or a perfect relationship. The goal is to notice whether this relationship has the ingredients for safety, honesty, repair, joy, and a shared life that actually works. Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ Rhythm - Get 15% off + Free shipping the world’s easiest at home blood testing ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. *If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

[2:13 PM]This week on Relationship Advice we dive deep into the definition of trauma and its profound impact on our lives. In this episode, we unravel the essence of trauma, defining it as anything that overwhelms our capacity to cope, persistently leaving unmet needs in its wake. Join us as we explore the lines between the body and trauma, where we experience freezing feelings, securing them in metaphorical boxes, and employing guards.We distinguish between Big T trauma and little t trauma, shedding light on the diverse spectrum of major life events and everyday stressors. Uncover the profound impact of both on coping mechanisms and recovery, as we explore examples ranging from significant incidents like abuse, accidents, or natural disasters to the subtler but equally impactful everyday stressors such as rejection, failure, or loss.We look into the protective strategies of the brain, revealing the adaptive responses it employs to shield us from overwhelming situations and uncover the long-term effects of these protective strategies, dissecting their influence on mental health and coping mechanisms. Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rythm - Get 15% off your first month + free shipping! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jealousy and envy can feel shameful, but they often reveal important fears, longings, and unmet needs beneath the surface. In this episode, we explore the difference between jealousy, the fear of losing something we already have, and envy, the pain of wanting something we do not feel like we have. We also talk through how to slow these emotions down, bring them to your partner with vulnerability, and move away from control, criticism, monitoring, or resentment. Main Talking Points: Jealousy vs Envy Fear Of Loss Reassurance Seeking Control Patterns Vulnerable Communication Relationship Boundaries Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ Rhythm - Get 15% off + Free shipping the world’s easiest at home blood testing ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In part two of our Emotional Regulation series, we’re talking all about co-regulation — how to regulate with your partner, friend, or someone you trust.While some people naturally want closeness and support when they’re overwhelmed, others need space before they’re ready to connect. In this episode, we break down why both independent regulation and co-regulation matter, how to know what your partner may need, and how to support someone without escalating the moment. Main Talking Points: Co-Regulation Independent Regulation Giving Space Supporting Calm Partner Differences Repairing Together Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rythm - Get 15% off your first month + free shipping! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we talk about how couples can use simple “scales” to better understand each other’s energy, desire, and capacity. Instead of assuming what your partner means when they seem tired, anxious, disconnected, or resistant, naming where you are can turn confusion into context. These tools help couples move out of all-or-nothing thinking and into clearer, more generous communication. Main talking points: Energy Check-Ins Naming Capacity Getting Context Importance Scales Avoiding Assumptions Collaborative Language Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ Rhythm - Get 15% off + Free shipping the world’s easiest at home blood testing ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we are discussing what it really means to regulate. You know that feeling when you are suddenly not quite in control of yourself? Maybe your body gets tense, your thoughts start moving fast, your tone shifts, or you feel like you might say or do something you would not normally say or do. That is often a sign that your nervous system is activated and needs support.In this episode, Cayla, Colter, and Lauren break down what self-regulation actually looks like in real life and why it matters so much in relationships. They offer psychoeducation about emotions, the nervous system, and the ways our bodies often communicate to us before our minds can fully make sense of what is happening. They also explore practical tools for slowing down, including breath, movement, body awareness, and learning how to notice your internal cues before things escalate.The conversation also looks at the difference between self-regulation and co-regulation. Sometimes we need to learn how to calm and ground ourselves, and sometimes we need safe connection with another person to help us come back into ourselves. This episode is all about understanding those moments of activation with more compassion, building awareness around your patterns, and learning what helps you return to a more grounded place. Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rythm - Get 15% off your first month + free shipping! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Anger can feel disruptive in relationships, but it often shows up for a reason: it signals that something important feels blocked, unfair, or violated. In this episode, we explore how anger can either push partners into blame, shutdown, and disconnection, or help clarify needs, values, and boundaries when it’s expressed with regulation. The goal isn’t to get rid of anger, but to understand it, lower its intensity, and communicate it in a way that keeps both people connected. Main Talking Points Anger’s Function Window Of Tolerance Blocked Goals Pursue And Withdraw Naming Anger Repairing Conflict Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rythm - Get 15% off your first month + free shipping! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If there is one thing to know about boundaries, it is that a boundary is not about what you need somebody else to do. It is about what you are going to do in response to somebody else’s behavior. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren discuss boundaries from a psychotherapeutic lens and give tools for how to better communicate boundaries. Main Talking Points:  Our bodies are the indicator for when we need to set boundaries. Boundaries exist on a continuum, not as binary bookends. Communication of boundaries should be specific to the prioritized need. We should approach boundaries with grace, generosity, and curiosity. Give Me Discounts! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rythm - Get 15% off your first month + free shipping! Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, the crew dives into the “withdrawer” role in relationships and how rigid, all-or-nothing responses can quietly create disconnection. They unpack why withdrawers often appease, shut down, or avoid conflict altogether — not because they don’t care, but because disappointing their partner feels intolerable. The conversation explores healthier alternatives to passive or rigid boundaries, including slowing down, using buffer statements, getting curious, and learning how to tolerate discomfort without punishing each other. Main Talking Points: All-Or-Nothing Thinking Passive Boundaries Buffer Statements Tolerating Disappointment Vulnerable Curiosity Flexible Responses  Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rythm - Get 15% off your first month + free shipping! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Vacation stress usually isn’t about the trip itself — it’s about the unspoken expectations couples bring into it. In this episode, the hosts unpack the conversations that can completely change the tone of a vacation before you ever leave the driveway: money, planning, intimacy, parenting, downtime, technology, and more. They explore how different nervous systems, personalities, and expectations can either create connection or turn a “dream trip” into the same fight in a different location. Main Talking Points:  Vacation Expectations Planning Differences Money Conversations Parenting Stress Intimacy Pressure Technology Boundaries Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Kiwi Fodzyme - Get 30% off your first order! Rythm - Get 15% off your first month + free shipping! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week we are joined by Trevor Hanson who shares his personal journey from anxious attachment and relationship struggles to becoming a therapist focused on helping others build secure attachment. He emphasizes that real transformation comes through emotional experiences—not just information—and outlines a structured approach to rewiring attachment patterns. Through practical tools like self-validation, inner child work, and community-based healing, he shows how people can create lasting security in relationships more efficiently than traditional methods. Main Talking Points Anxious attachment patterns Emotional experiences heal Four healing pillars Inner child work Self-validation tools Repetition rewires brain Connect with Trevor: Website Instagram Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Tanasi - Use code “relationship" for 25% off your first order. Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link!If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does “true intimacy” actually mean—and why do so many couples feel disconnected even when they love each other? In this episode, we sit down with Matthew Raabsmith and Joanna Raabsmith, relationship experts and co-authors of Building True Intimacy, to unpack the deeper layers of connection most relationships are missing. We dive into their Intimacy Pyramid™ framework—a powerful model that explains why so many relationships struggle at the foundation and how couples can rebuild safety, trust, and emotional closeness from the ground up. From the tension between secrecy and privacy to the complicated realities of checking a partner’s phone, this conversation gets honest about what actually builds (or breaks) trust. We also explore what happens after betrayal—and whether it’s truly possible for a relationship to come back stronger. If you’ve ever felt stuck, disconnected, or unsure how to rebuild closeness, this episode gives you a clear path forward. Key Takeaways: True intimacy defined Love vs connection gap Intimacy Pyramid basics Secrecy vs privacy Trust after betrayal One small shift Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠⁠AG1⁠ - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  ⁠Quince⁠ - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠⁠ review in iTunes⁠⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ending a relationship is rarely about one big moment—it’s usually a pattern that keeps repeating despite effort, conversations, and growing awareness. This episode explores how to tell the difference between normal relationship challenges that can be worked through and deeper signs of incompatibility or emotional disconnection. We talk about what it looks like when one or both partners stop showing up, when the same conflicts keep resurfacing without resolution, and when the relationship begins to feel more draining than supportive. You’ll learn how to honestly evaluate whether growth is still happening—or if staying is quietly costing you more than leaving. Main Talking Points Repeating patterns Emotional disconnection Effort imbalance Core misalignment Growth vs. stuck Fear of leaving Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode explores the common relationship dynamic where one partner struggles to share vulnerably, and when they finally do, they’re met with criticism, correction, or defensiveness. The hosts explain how these responses unintentionally “punish” vulnerability and reinforce shutdown patterns, even when connection is what both partners want. They emphasize playing the long game—creating safety through validation, patience, and restraint—so vulnerability can grow over time. Main Talking Points Pursuer vs withdrawer Punishing vulnerability Critiquing delivery Validation first Play long game Create safety Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode explores how attachment styles subtly show up on first dates and what to watch for without overanalyzing every interaction. The hosts emphasize that instead of trying to “screen perfectly,” the real work is understanding your own attachment patterns and how they influence who you’re drawn to. By noticing communication patterns, emotional pacing, and responses to vulnerability, you can better identify both anxious and withdrawn tendencies early on. Main Talking Points Self-awareness first Conversation balance Emotional pacing Mixed signals Fast vs slow Questions to ask Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Telling someone to “calm down” usually does the opposite—it makes people feel dismissed, misunderstood, and even more activated. In this episode, the hosts explore why that phrase backfires in moments of anger, anxiety, disappointment, or excitement, and why it often comes from the other person feeling overwhelmed too. They unpack a better approach: co-regulation through validation, steady presence, gentler tone, and asking what support actually helps. Main Talking Points: • Validation first• Tone matters• Co-regulate together• Name the feeling• Ask what helps  Give Me Discounts! ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Quince - Get Free Shipping and 365-day Returns using our link! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The mental load in relationships refers to the invisible work of planning, remembering, organizing, and anticipating what needs to happen in a household or family. When one partner carries more of this cognitive responsibility, it can lead to stress, resentment, and the feeling that the other partner assumes things “magically” get done. Couples can reduce conflict by communicating openly about expectations, acknowledging differences in capacity and strengths, and creating clear agreements about responsibilities. Main Talking Points: Invisible cognitive work Household task planning Capacity differences Clear expectations Communication over criticism Appreciation and teamwork Give Me Discounts!  ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Friendships change as people grow, and those shifts can bring up grief, confusion, frustration, or fear.In this episode, we unpack how growth, life transitions, shifting values, and changing capacity can create tension in friendships, and why our first instinct is often to fix, judge, withdraw, or take it personally. We talk about how asking better questions, staying open instead of defensive, and making space for both grief and care can help friendships adapt rather than fall apart. The goal is not to force the relationship back to what it was, but to navigate change in a way that protects both connection and individuality. Main Talking Points Friendship shifts Asking questions Resisting defensiveness Grieving change Staying connected Healthy boundaries Give Me Discounts!  ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most relationships start with “I love you, you’re perfect”… and quickly turn into wanting your partner to change. The real problem isn’t usually whether they want to change—it’s that change is rarely A→B; it’s a process that requires understanding barriers, reducing shame, and building support. When couples shift from criticism to curiosity and create small, doable systems together, motivation increases and change becomes sustainable. Talking points “Now change” cycle Wanting vs doing Shame kills change Barriers before solutions 1% systems Practice + support Give Me Discounts!  Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional availability isn’t about feeling emotions loudly or perfectly — it’s about presence, regulation, and the ability to hold space without shutting down or exploding. Our capacity shifts based on stress, attachment history, neurodivergence, and what’s happening in our window of tolerance. Instead of hunting for the “perfectly available” partner, growth starts with understanding your own patterns and learning to show up vulnerably and clearly. Main Talking Points: Window of tolerance Capacity vs. timing Attachment patterns Vulnerable communication Boundaries & regulation Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does it feel so disappointing to ask for what you want? In this episode, we unpack the hidden belief that “if I have to ask, it doesn’t count” — and how that mindset turns simple needs (compliments, celebration, affection) into silent resentment. We explore the shame, fear of failure, childhood triggers, and meaning-making underneath it all — and how shifting from mind-reading to curiosity can completely change the dynamic. Main Talking Points: • Mind-reading myth • Meaning-making traps • Shame & fear • Childhood wounds • Process > content Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When someone says, “I think my partner is a narcissist,” they’re usually not chasing a diagnosis—they’re trying to make sense of a relationship that feels controlling, confusing, and painful. This episode slows it way down and compares narcissism with insecure attachment patterns (pursuer/withdrawer) and neurodivergence, since the impact can look similar even when the why is totally different. The big differentiator they keep coming back to is flexibility: is there willingness to reflect, learn, repair, and change—even if slowly? Main talking points Impact over labels Spectrum, not binary Rigidity vs flexibility Withdrawer mislabels Neurodivergent overlap Curiosity “experiments” Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s been a wave of major U.S. events stirring up big emotions, and this episode stays out of political commentary to focus on how people psychologically respond—in themselves, in relationships, and online. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous-system activation, bias, privilege/positionality, and “defensive attribution” can shape what we believe, how safe we feel, and how we treat people who respond differently. They also walk through 10 common “archetypes” of coping with national unrest and offer a relational path forward: get curious, find safe places to process, and move from reactivity into values-based action. Main Talking Points Nervous system activation Bias + “tribes” Defensive attribution Privilege + proximity 10 coping archetypes Curiosity over combat Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Negotiation isn’t a “business skill” — it’s an everyday relationship skill. Today we sit down TED Talk speaker, best-selling author, and podcast host of Negotiate Anything, Kwame Christian. He is recognized as one of the world's top negotiation experts, and he got good at it by treating tough conversations like a learnable muscle (not a personality trait).  He breaks great negotiation down into three core skills—listening, curiosity, and emotion management—and offers a flexible framework (“compassionate curiosity”) that keeps things collaborative instead of combative. The big shift: do the internal work first (name your feelings, get clear on what you want), then enter the conversation ready to validate, get curious, and problem-solve—without handing your well-being to the other person. Skill, not talent Everyday negotiations Unlearn Hollywood Self-awareness first 3 core skills Compassionate curiosity Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Body image isn’t just “how you look”—it’s how you feel in your body, and that inner experience can quietly shape conflict, closeness, sex, and day-to-day connection in a relationship. Today, we sit down with Samantha Jerome (registered dietitian nutritionist + certified diabetes educator) reframes “health” as a whole-person process—food, movement, sleep, stress, relationships, creativity—and warns that extreme New Year “reset” mindsets often turn into control, shame, and burnout. The episode emphasizes curiosity, small sustainable shifts, supportive environments, and clearer partner communication so body-image struggles don’t hijack time, mental space, or intimacy. Main Talking Points: Body image is felt Curiosity over control Mind–body connection Avoid “reset” extremes Small, sustainable habits Communicate with partner Continue the Conversation with Samatha Website Instagram Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠⁠HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026⁠⁠ Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10 ⁠⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Reaching and responding is the core interaction that helps couples move out of stuck, negative cycles and back toward connection. A reach is an imperfect, vulnerable sharing from the heart, and a response is a soft, attuned way of catching that vulnerability with empathy and curiosity. When couples practice this repeatedly—especially during repair after conflict—they create safety, deepen understanding, and strengthen secure attachment over time. Main Talking Points Vulnerable reaching Soft responses Create safety Shift the cycle Repair before prevent Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026⁠ Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10 ⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we explore what a negative relationship cycle is and why couples get stuck repeating the same patterns during conflict. We explain how protective moves like criticism, shutdown, fixing, or withdrawal are attempts to regain safety—not signs that one partner is “the problem.” Knowing your cycle helps partners slow things down, take accountability for their part, and reduce shame. This awareness creates the foundation for staying regulated and eventually responding with more vulnerability and connection. Main Talking Points • Negative cycles • Protective moves • Self-protection patterns • Triggers & meaning • Awareness before change Give Me Discounts! ⁠Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠⁠ review in iTunes⁠⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026⁠ Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10 ⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the second pillar of a secure relationship: individuation—the idea that what it’s like to be me is different than what it’s like to be you.  They explore how differences in processing, upbringing, values, and sensory experiences can turn from “cute quirks” into major points of conflict when partners feel right/wrong instead of just different. You’ll hear real-life examples, role plays, and practical questions you can take back to your own relationship to build more curiosity, compassion, and realistic expectations of each other. Main Talking Points: • External vs. internal processors • Individuation and attachment • Everyday differences in conflict • Sensory and value clashes • Curiosity over being “right” • Conversation prompts for couples Give Me Discounts! Check out Relationship Academy! ⁠ ⁠Cozy Earth⁠⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠⁠Beducate⁠⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠⁠AG1 - ⁠⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠⁠Simple Practice⁠⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠⁠Skylight⁠⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a⁠ review in iTunes⁠? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026⁠ Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. ⁠HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026⁠ Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10 ⁠Get $100 off Spark My Relationship⁠ 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Window of Tolerance helps explain why one partner often wants to keep talking while the other shuts down, speeds up, or feels totally overwhelmed.  In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack how nervous systems have different thresholds, what it looks like to be inside vs. outside your window, and why both partners are usually dysregulated in conflict—just in opposite ways. You’ll learn how to notice your own cues, call a break before things boil over, and use this language to create more safety, empathy, and connection in day-to-day life together. Main Talking Points: • What “window” means • Different dysregulation styles • Signs you’re in-window • Using body-based cues • Taking breaks wisely • Expanding your window Check out Relationship Academy! Cozy Earth⁠ -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! ⁠Beducate⁠ - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. ⁠AG1 - ⁠AG1 has become my go to every morning. ⁠Simple Practice⁠ - If you're in mental health and not using simple practice then what are you doing??? ⁠Spark My Relationship Course:⁠ Get $100 off our online course. Visit⁠ SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock⁠ for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! ⁠Skylight⁠⁠ - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Couples Values Construction for 2026 Here you can find some more instruction on how to construct your values as a couple as well as the values list. HOLD ME TIGHT - Workshop Jan 31 and Feb 1, 2026 Join Cayla Bozovich, LPC, EFCT for a jam packed and fun weekend of learning about how to take your relationship back to a 10 Get $100 off Spark My Relationship 14 hours of relationship content Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla explore why we latch onto birthdays and the New Year as chances to “start fresh,” and why traditional resolutions so often fall flat. They share personal stories about resolutions that worked and didn’t, and offer a more flexible approach rooted in values, season-of-life awareness, and gentle recalibration instead of all-or-nothing goals. You’ll hear practical ideas for setting individual and shared relationship intentions—like choosing a word for the year, doing a values audit, and imagining the “photo slideshow” you want to look back on next December. Main Talking Points: • Milestones as reset • Why resolutions fail • Values over goals • Couples intention talks • Season-of-life reality • Gentle self-compassion Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, we break down the pursuer–withdrawer dynamic and why partners so often misunderstand each other during conflict. We explore how our nervous systems, personal histories, and internal stories shape the meaning we make of our partner’s behavior. By slowing down and getting curious, couples can interrupt the cycle and create more connection instead of escalating disconnection. Main Talking Points • Pursuer vs. withdrawer • Meaning-making stories • Nervous system responses • Projection in conflict • Windows of tolerance • Curiosity over certainty Check Out Relationship Academy Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. ⁠⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN This episode explores the subtle but important difference between caring for someone and caretaking for them — and why crossing that line can create resentment, burnout, or dependency in relationships. The hosts break down how good intentions can accidentally enable unhealthy patterns, block growth, or strip someone of their autonomy. They also share practical examples, scripts, and mindset shifts to help you support the people you love without taking over their life or their discomfort. Caring vs. caretaking Enabling patterns Emotional discomfort Interdependence balance Healthy boundaries Comfort scripts Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! Main Talking PointsIf you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. ⁠⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN This episode explores why affairs happen even among people who genuinely value their relationships and never imagined crossing that line. The hosts break down the emotional, psychological, and relational dynamics that make secrecy, novelty, and unmet needs so compelling. They also examine how betrayal impacts identity, trust, and a couple’s shared narrative — and what healing realistically requires. MAIN TALKING POINTS Secrecy & allure Emotional rupture Unmet needs Fantasy vs. reality Identity confusion Rebuilding trust Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS *We just answered a bunch of questions from listeners and want to answer more* Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. ⁠⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN Main Talking Points: Today we dissect a conflict that Colter and Cayla get into. Spoiler alert, it took us a couple of conversations to get back onto the same page.  We thought that this episode could be a good example of how we can disagree, rupture, and eventually repair and reconnect. Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS *We just answered a bunch of questions from listeners and want to answer more* Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. ⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla open up about how the holidays can bring up grief, loneliness, or stress instead of joy. They share personal stories of loss, family expectations, and the emotional weight that often comes with “the most wonderful time of the year.” Together, they explore ways to honor what’s hard, set healthy boundaries, and find comfort and connection in the midst of it all. Main Talking Points: Grief and loss Family expectations Emotional triggers Setting boundaries Creating new traditions Supporting your partner Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight - Use code “IDO” for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Amazfit - Use Code “IDO” to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS Free through the end of the year! Get access to courses and live coaching with the hosts. CLICK HERE TO JOIN The holidays can bring a mix of love, laughter, and a little chaos. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about what happens when family dynamics, politics, and expectations collide at the dinner table—and how to stay grounded through it all. You’ll learn how to manage emotional triggers, set flexible boundaries, and focus on connection instead of conflict. Whether you’re hosting or visiting, this episode helps you keep your peace while staying true to your values. Main Talking Points: • Navigating family triggers • Setting flexible boundaries • Hosting vs. visiting dynamics • Planning exit strategies • Dodging heated topics • Leading with values DISCOUNTS & LINKS: Cozy Earth: Use code IDO and stack it on top of their sitewide sale for up to 40% off. Beducate: Visit beducate.me/relationship69 and use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Skylight: Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off the 15-inch calendar. Function Health: 160+ lab tests for $365. Learn more at functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit: Visit amazfit.com/IDO for 10% off. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off at SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock If you love this episode, would you mind leaving us a review on Apple Podcasts? It means the world to us and only takes a minute. – Colter, Cayla & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves. CLICK HERE TO JOIN Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore the roots, costs, and recovery process of people pleasing, highlighting how it often stems from fear of conflict, guilt, or learned conditioning. The hosts discuss the emotional and relational toll—like resentment, burnout, and lack of authentic connection—while also offering practical tools to build awareness, set boundaries, and communicate needs more clearly. Ultimately, they emphasize shifting from guilt-based to values-based decision-making in relationships. Main Talking Points: Fear and guilt origins Childhood conditioning Emotional costs Boundary setting Practicing “soft no’s” Give Me Discounts! Cozy Earth -  Black Friday has come early at Cozy Earth! Right now, you can stack my code “IDO” on top of their sitewide sale — giving you up to 40% off in savings. These deals won’t last, so start your holiday shopping today! Beducate - Visit and use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Audible - Listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Get $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at Amazfit - Visit to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves. ⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN⁠ In this episode of Relationship Advice, Colter and Cayla sit down with therapist and author Joe Nucci to unpack themes from his book Psychobabble. They dive into common therapy-related myths—like the idea that “everyone needs therapy” or that “more emotional intimacy is always better”—and explore how cultural messages about mental health can sometimes oversimplify or distort deeper truths. The conversation blends humor and insight as they challenge overused self-help tropes, advocate for nuance, and discuss how real growth happens both inside and outside of therapy. Main Talking Points: - Myth: “Everyone needs therapy” — therapy is beneficial but not always necessary - Limited therapist availability and mental health as a social justice issue - Myth: “More emotional intimacy = healthier relationship” — intimacy looks different for everyone - Dangers of over-standardizing “emotional health” in relationships - Therapy as preparation vs. real-world relational growth - Attraction patterns, emotional awareness, and learning through experience Joe’s Links: - Instagram - Website Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Beducate - Visit beducate.me/relationship69 and use code relationship69 for 65% off the annual pass. Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves. ⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN⁠ Colter, Cayla, and Lauren unpack the tricky dynamics of navigating family drama—especially with in-laws—through relatable stories, humor, and therapy-based insight. They explore how couples often get caught in “who’s right” battles instead of understanding each other’s emotional experiences and family conditioning. The conversation moves from examples like holiday conflicts and boundary differences to practical strategies for curiosity, validation, and creating teamwork when families collide. Main Talking Points: - Holidays & expectations: balancing rest, traditions, and competing family rituals. - Boundaries & input: navigating unsolicited advice and over-involvement from in-laws. - Cultural & parenting differences: managing contrasting values, politics, or child-rearing styles. - Underlying emotions: shifting from “who’s right” to sharing how it feels (e.g., feeling stuck, unseen, guilty). - Triangulation awareness: avoiding being pulled into sides or family alliances. - Repair & curiosity: using calm, validating conversations outside conflict to understand each other and build connection. Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

RELATIONSHIP ACADEMY IS NOW ACCEPTING MEMBERS Totally free until the end of the year! Access to courses and coaching with the hosts themselves. ⁠CLICK HERE TO JOIN⁠ In this episode, Colter, Lauren, and Cayla unpack the messy reality of family differences—why gatherings can trigger us, how long-held “rules of the game” shape family conflict, and what we can do to stay grounded when things get heated. They explore common sources of family drama—holidays, parenting, politics, religion, and generational expectations—and how guilt, resentment, and old patterns keep us stuck. Ultimately, the conversation centers on learning to slow down, identify our triggers, set boundaries with compassion, and find ways to stay connected even when we disagree. Main Talking Points: - Common sources of family conflict (holidays, parenting, money, politics) - “Rules of the game” in family systems - Understanding triggers and nervous system responses - Balancing boundaries with connection - Compassionate communication and timing - What you can—and can’t—control in family relationships Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren break down how to shift your relationship from reactivity to rhythm by learning to create a positive cycle. You’ll hear the story of Andrea and Marcus—a couple stuck in familiar patterns—who begin transforming conflict through small, intentional changes like naming their stories and taking ownership instead of reacting. From practical tools like “the story I’m telling myself…” to the game-changing “help me help you help me” skill, this episode shows how simple awareness and repair can turn everyday tension into deeper connection. Main Talking Points: Awareness of triggers & old cycles Naming stories with curiosity Accountability vs. defensiveness Intentional “deposits” of connection Repair through validation & empathy “Help me help you help me” negotiation Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jessica Baum shares her personal journey through anxiety and depression that led her into studying attachment theory and writing her books. She explains how cultural messages about independence often conflict with our biological need for connection, and how healing happens through safe, consistent relationships. Her work emphasizes the importance of “anchors”—people who can provide presence, safety, and co-regulation—as a pathway toward secure attachment and earned security. Colter, Lauren, and Jessica talk about topics such as: - Codependency = anxious attachment - Cultural pressure for independence - Healing through safe connection - Importance of anchors/secure people - Co-regulation before self-regulation - Familiar vs. healthy attraction Freebie from Jessica: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/interview Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode looks at why your partner might struggle to “just get over” something that feels small to you. Often, their reaction isn’t really about the forgotten text or missed plan—it’s about old wounds from times they felt invisible or unimportant. Instead of brushing it off, the episode shows how empathy and repair can turn these moments into opportunities for deeper connection. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren dive into topics like: - Why little things often hit deeper emotional scars. - How “just get over it” shuts down closeness instead of fixing the problem. - Signs that your partner’s reaction is about more than the moment. - Simple shifts—curiosity, empathy, and listening—that help your partner feel seen. - How repair after conflict builds more trust than avoiding fights. Give Me Discounts! NOCD.COM - If you're tired of unwanted thoughts affecting your relationships and other areas of your life, visit nocd.com Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most people have experienced moments of withdrawal or disconnection in relationships, especially during conflict. For some, these patterns can create misunderstandings and distance. No matter your role in the dynamic—whether pursuer or withdrawer—we can all benefit from deeper connection and greater emotional safety. Listen to today's show to learn how to support your withdrawer partner, foster secure attachment, and strengthen your bond. Cayla, Colter, and Lauren discuss topics such as: Understanding Withdrawers Key Challenges for Withdrawers Common Patterns in the Relationship Practical Strategies for Loving Withdrawers Balancing Needs in the Relationship Shifting Toward Secure Attachment And more! Give Me Discounts! Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode from Relationship Advice, hosts Colter, Lauren, and Cayla lean into the dynamics of pursuer-withdrawer relationships, focusing on how to understand and support pursuers effectively. As part of a broader series on relational dynamics, this episode emphasizes recognizing attachment needs, addressing raw spots, and providing proactive care to build healthier, more connected relationships. The hosts share personal anecdotes, psychological insights, and actionable strategies to help listeners navigate these dynamics. Key Discussion Points Who are the pursuers in a relationship and what drives their behavior? Pursuers are described as individuals who, during moments of disconnection or conflict, attempt to restore the relationship by seeking engagement. However, their strategies—such as high-energy behaviors, demands, or criticisms—often come across as overwhelming to their partner. Pursuers act out of fear—fear of being abandoned, ignored, or dismissed. Kayla highlights that beneath the demands and criticisms is often a deep sense of insecurity and fear of losing the relationship. Give Me Discounts! Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode explores how having a baby reshapes a couple’s relationship in ways few anticipate, from sleep deprivation and shifting roles to unexpected emotional triggers. Rachel shares her own experiences of disconnection, especially after her second child, and normalizes the challenges couples face when intimacy and teamwork take a hit. She emphasizes adjusting expectations, understanding temperament differences, and remembering that both partners and children are navigating new needs and patterns. Colter, Lauren, and Rachel talk about: - Shift in roles & teamwork  - Pressure & expectations  - Sleep deprivation  - Kids’ needs first - Temperament & triggers  - Connection & reassurance  Where to Find Rachel - Hey Sleepy Baby Instagram - Hey Sleepy Dad Instagram - Website Give Me Discounts! Audible - Visit audible.com/janeaustin to get listen to this incredible reading rendition of Pride & Prejudice Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fear of rejection is one of the biggest hurdles in dating, often holding people back from putting themselves out there or forming deeper connections. In this episode, we unpack where this fear comes from, how it ties into past experiences and self-worth, and why rejection is not as personal as it feels. We also share practical ways to shift your perspective, build resilience, and approach dating with more openness and confidence. They talk about topics such as:  - Roots of rejection fear (childhood, past relationships) - Rejection ≠ personal worth - How fear leads to avoidance or self-sabotage - Reframing rejection as redirection - Building confidence & resilience - and more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode unpacks the fear of intimacy—why closeness can feel good yet terrifying at the same time. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren explore how fear of intimacy shows up in subtle and obvious ways, from ghosting and over-picking flaws to struggling with vulnerability in relationships. They also highlight how childhood experiences, trauma, and personal wiring shape this fear, and offer hope that with curiosity, compassion, and therapy, people can learn to build deeper connections. They talk about topics such as:  - Vulnerability vs. dumping  - Signs of fear  - Roots of fear - Negotiation & sacrifice  - Dating dynamics - And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode dives into the often-overlooked complexities of friendship conflict and breakups, highlighting that friendships can be just as emotionally significant—and challenging—as romantic relationships. The hosts discuss common causes of tension, from mismatched expectations and life transitions to breaches of trust, unmet needs, and changes in values. They share strategies for addressing disconnection with curiosity and honesty, while also giving permission to let certain friendships fade when they no longer align. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about topics such as:  - Friendships as attachments - Common reasons for tension - Friendship pursuer/withdrawer dynamics - Healthy repair - And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Sarah Anderson returns to explore how sensory processing patterns impact physical and sexual intimacy. The hosts use a creative "readiness for sex" scale to frame how sensory input—like lighting, texture, sound, and smell—can act as either accelerators or brakes for sexual connection. By understanding your own and your partner’s sensory profile, couples can communicate better, reduce misunderstandings, and intentionally create more satisfying intimate experiences. Colter, Lauren and Sarah talk about: The Eight Senses & Sexual Intimacy Brakes vs. Accelerators Sensory Preferences are Individualized Practical Tools & Ideas Communication is Central And More! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Dr. Sarah Anderson, a mental health occupational therapist, joins the hosts to explore how individual sensory profiles affect relationships. They break down the eight sensory systems—including lesser-known ones like interoception and proprioception—and explain how understanding these systems can create more compassion and effective communication between partners. By learning your own and your partner’s sensory patterns, you can reduce unnecessary conflict and better support each other, especially in moments of emotional dysregulation. Colter, Lauren and Sarah talk about: The 8 Sensory Systems & Sensory Profiles The Four Sensory Processing Patterns Common Relationship Conflicts Tied to Sensory Needs Awareness Builds Compassion, Not Excuses Strategies and Support Tools And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you support loved ones during challenging times, such as mental health struggles, medical issues, grief, or addiction? Listen as our hosts explore recognizing signs of struggle, managing emotional reactions like fear or frustration, and offering effective support by combining curiosity, validation, and clear communication. In this episode, Colter, Cayla, and Lauren talk about these topics Common Struggles Emotional Responses in Helper Role Signs of Struggle Strategies for Support Navigating Boundaries Building Connection And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bringing up hard things in relationships is less about avoiding conflict and more about when and how you do it. In this episode, the hosts explore why timing, emotional state, and environment play a crucial role in whether a tough conversation connects or causes more disconnection.  In this episode, we talk about relationship topics like  - Timing Matters - Check emotional, mental, and environment readiness - The HALT acronym - Practicing “priming” - Don’t bring things up in the moment you’re upset Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Relationship Advice, guest sex therapist Bryttney Huseas joins the hosts to explore the nuanced and often misunderstood sexual differences between men and women. The conversation addresses cultural scripts, body image, power dynamics, and the distinct ways that men and women often experience desire and arousal. Learn tools for better communication, increased self-awareness, and a deeper sense of ownership and empowerment in sexual relationships. They talk about:  - Cultural Conditioning & Body Image - Power Dynamics - Initiation Norms - Spontaneous vs Responsive Desire - Importance of Sensuality & Energy - and MUCH more Where to get connected with Bryttney Huseas LMFT, Sex & Relationship Therapist Bryttney@scottsdalesextherapy.com https://www.scottsdalesextherapy.com/meet-bryttney Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Relationship Advice, Cayla and Lauren are joined by sex therapist Bryttney Huseas to explore where couples commonly get stuck when it comes to sex. They dive deep into how differing arousal types—spontaneous vs. responsive—create misunderstandings, pressure, and disconnect, often fueled by cultural myths about what sex “should” look like. Offering practical tools for fostering empathy, building an “erotic team” mentality, and taking personal responsibility for sexual connection and communication. They talk about:  - Spontaneous vs. Responsive Desire - Cultural Norms & Misinformation - Personal Responsibility for Sexual Connection - Judgment & Safety in Communication - and more! Where to get connected with Bryttney Huseas LMFT, Sex & Relationship Therapist Bryttney@scottsdalesextherapy.com ⁠https://www.scottsdalesextherapy.com/meet-bryttney⁠ Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Function - 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. Learn more & get started at www.functionhealth.com/IDO Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Empathy isn’t just a feeling—it’s a skillset, and in this episode, we break down its secret language. From how to stop jumping to advice-giving to what true emotional presence really looks like, we explore the four essential attributes of empathy. If you’ve ever wondered why your support sometimes falls flat—or how to help your partner feel more understood—this episode is your guide to getting out of the “fix-it” trap and into deeper connection. We talk about topics such as:  - The Four Attributes of Empathy - Why We Default to Fixing Instead of Empathizing - Empathy ≠ Agreement - How to Build the Empathy Muscle - and more! Brene Brown Empathy Video mentioned Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever felt like something about you was just…wrong? In this episode, we dive deep into the roots of shame—where it comes from, why we all experience it, and how it impacts our relationships in sneaky ways like defensiveness, over-explaining, or shutting down. Unpack the experience of shame, tracing it back to early childhood moments when we first began to believe something was wrong with us. They explore the difference between shame and guilt, how shame shows up in relationships through defensiveness or withdrawal, and why healing it requires identifying core shame messages and grief over unmet needs.  In this episode, we talk about: - Shame is the fear of disconnection - Shame shows up in relationships - Grieving unmet needs - Replacing shame with truth - and more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We often rush to offer solutions when a loved one expresses emotional distress, not because we don't care, but because it's uncomfortable to witness pain—both theirs and our own. While advice and plans may seem helpful, skipping over empathy and validation can make others feel dismissed or misunderstood. In this episode, the hosts unpack why we default to fixing and offer tools to slow down, connect emotionally first, and ask what support is actually needed. In this episode, we cover topics such as: - Fixing as a Coping Strategy - Forms of Fixing - Impact of Fixing - What to Do Instead - And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Being able to name and understand your emotions deepens your connection to yourself and improves your ability to connect with others. Language gives shape to emotional experiences, much like how having more words for color can help us better distinguish shades. By learning the core emotions—anger, fear, guilt, and pain—and understanding their physical and relational functions, we gain tools to navigate conflict and communicate more vulnerably and effectively. In this episode we talk about:  Language Shapes Emotional Awareness The Four Core Emotions People Vary in Emotional Intensity Connection Requires Vulnerability Self-Reflection Tools And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, examine how our assumptions about our partner's behavior shape the emotional climate of our relationship. Often, we default to interpretations that paint our partner as careless or intentionally hurtful, which leads to defensiveness and distance. By learning to make generous, non-evil assumptions—like believing our partner is overwhelmed rather than selfish—we create more space for empathy, curiosity, and connection. We cover topics such as: We often assume the worst based on our own insecurities. Generous assumptions reduce conflict. Shift from “they’re against me” to “they’re struggling.” Mutual generosity creates safety. And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dive into how often people use indirect or protective strategies—like assuming or demanding—when trying to get their relational needs met, and why making needs explicit through vulnerability is both challenging and essential. Colter, Cayla, and Lauren emphasize that even though vulnerable communication is uncomfortable and risky, it’s the most effective way to build connection and avoid misunderstandings or resentment. They offer practical guidance on organizing your thoughts, understanding your own context, and inviting your partner into a collaborative conversation rather than a demand-response dynamic. We cover topics such as: Protected vs Vulnerable Requests “You Should Just Know” Myth Context Over Commands Collaborative Communication And More! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode dives into the feeling of disillusionment in long-term relationships—when the connection, ease, or intimacy from the early days starts to fade and partners question what changed. The hosts unpack how this shift is often tied to attachment dynamics, life stressors, and the transition from novelty to responsibility in relationships. Instead of jumping to blame, the episode encourages listeners to get curious, explore the root causes of change, and decide whether to grow through it or lovingly let go. We cover topics such as: Feeling let down in a relationship is normal Life stress makes connection harder Attraction isn’t just about looks Early relationships feel easier because there's less pressure And More! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode explores the nuanced question of how much we should share about our intimate relationships with others, highlighting the spectrum between healthy connection and potential boundary violations. The hosts reflect on personal experiences and therapeutic insights to unpack the motivations behind sharing—such as co-regulation, validation, or humor—and examine how factors like upbringing, culture, and attachment styles shape our comfort with disclosure. The conversation emphasizes that couples benefit from explicit conversations about preferences, risks, and the importance of flexibility when navigating this topic. We cover topics such as: Motivations for Sharing Risks of Oversharing Family, Cultural, and Attachment Influence Need for Individual & Mutual Reflection And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, the hosts unpack the complicated process of knowing when it's time to leave a relationship, highlighting the emotional risks, attachment patterns, and fears of regret that often make the decision so difficult. They emphasize that while love and good qualities may exist, non-negotiable differences, broken trust, or persistent disconnection can signal it's time to move on. The episode encourages self-trust, gathering support, experimenting with boundaries, and, when needed, seeking professional help like couples therapy or intensives for greater clarity. We cover topics such as: Why It Feels Hard To Leave Signals It’s Time To Leave Importance of Gathering Input Professional Support & Intensives And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren\ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, the hosts illustrate how noticing when you need a break during conflict is essential for maintaining emotional regulation and protecting connection. They highlight how pushing through conflict without pausing can lead to emotional collapse or blow-ups, and how a break should be intentional, involving both calming the body and organizing thoughts before reengaging. The episode emphasizes that reframing breaks not as avoidance but as tools for better communication can help couples build trust and deeper understanding. We cover topics such as: Recognizing Dysregulation Breaks vs Avoidance Organizing During Breaks Fear of Not Returning Reengaging Vulnerability And more! Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When emotional growth happens at different paces in a relationship, it can create disconnection and frustration. This episode explores how partners can navigate this dynamic by cultivating curiosity, avoiding shame-based interpretations, and validating the complexity of individual growth paths. Rather than rushing to conclusions or trying to control the other, the hosts encourage compassion, open dialogue, and creative ways to reconnect. In this episode, we cover topics such as:  Avoiding Righteousness Pause the Binary Thinking Asking Open-Ended Questions Exploring Other Support Systems Discernment and Clarity  Give Me Discounts! Skylight - Visit skylightcal.com/IDO for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.  Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the common relational challenge of mismatched sex drives in partnerships, emphasizing that differences in sexual desire are normal and often rooted in individual biology, life stage, or emotional dynamics. Rather than seeking a “right” or “normal” amount of sex, the hosts encourage couples to approach the topic with curiosity, vulnerability, and a willingness to understand one another’s needs. The conversation also challenges common gender-based assumptions about sex and introduces the idea of sexual pursuit and withdrawal patterns as part of a couple’s dynamic. In this episode, we talk about topics such as:  Mismatched Sex Drives Are Normal Sexual Pursuer vs. Sexual Withdrawer Curiosity Over Rigidity Sex as a Form of Regulation vs. Connection Navigating Differences with Vulnerability and Flexibility And more! Give Me Discounts! Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, the hosts explore the emotional complexity of being vulnerable in relationships and not receiving the supportive response we hope for. When partners often respond in protective ways—like shutting down or snapping back—can feel frustrating and disheartening—especially when you’re trying to be vulnerable and connect. Understanding what’s happening under the surface of that defensiveness and learning how to respond can completely shift the dynamic between you and your partner. Listen to today’s show to learn how to stay grounded, break negative cycles, and build true emotional safety—even when your partner is still reactive. In this episode of Relationship Advice, we discuss relationship topics such as: Protective Responses How To Avoid Being “Baited” Into Reactivity Tools To Stay In Vulnerability/Curiosity When You Partner Shuts Down Internal vs. External Control Tuning Into Your Window of Tolerance How To Build Lasting Safety In Relationships and much more! Give Me Discounts! Prolon - Visit ProlonLife.com/IDO to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. PXG - Visit PXGApparel.com/IDO or use promo code: PODAPP-IDO to save 10% off your Spring/Summer 2025 Collection order. Amazfit - Visit www.amazfit.com/IDO to get 10% off Spark My Relationship Course: Get $100 off our online course. Visit SparkMyRelationship.com/Unlock for our special offer just for our I Do Podcast listeners! If you love this episode (and our podcast!), would you mind giving us a review in iTunes? It would mean the world to us and we promise it only takes a minute. Many thanks in advance! – Colter, Cayla, & Lauren Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices