Stories of Recovery | Alcoholism, Addiction & 12 Step Spirituality

How does someone go from an ordinary, middle-class upbringing to having her door kicked in by the SWAT team? And then, how does that same person then go from facing serious jail time to being in recovery for 12 years and being the happily married mother of three daughters? Tricia lays out all the ups and downs of her path into addiction and her journey into recovery. She discusses the importance of being in treatment at MARR and developing peer relationships with women, finding worth outside of a relationship to a man, and the significant impact of family week.
Purchase your tickets to this year’s MARR Banquet here: https://www.marrinc.org/banquet

Kaitlin Byrne is the Lead Family Counselor at our Men’s Recovery Center. Her job is to work specifically with the family members of our clients to help them recognize how they’ve been affected by their loved one’s addiction and begin the healing process. In this conversation with host Matt Shedd, Kaitlin explains what makes addiction a family disease and also goes over the basics of family recovery. She also shares about a new group that she’s started at MARR, open to the general public, for family members that are interested in beginning their own recovery journey. For more information on Kaitlin’s group or if  you’re interested in participating in it, you can reach out to her directly at 678-805-5145. 
0:01 – Intro
0:56 – What Kaitlin does as a family therapist at MARR
4:50 – The family has its own recovery journey
8:45 – Importance of family members of making connections
12:05 – Common symptoms of the family disease
15:50 – New group on the basics of family recovery
21:19 – Unique benefits of group interactions
24:05 – Who the group is open to
26:35 – The challenges of a loved one returning from treatment

Penelope’s drinking and drug use began in high school and ramped in her young adulthood. During the 1960s, she traveled around and participated in events like Woodstock and became addicted to heroin in the process. She ended up in prison for a year at the age of 21. Upon getting out, she joined a company as a dancer and taught at a college while also making crystal meth for the Hell’s Angels on the side. After a nightmare detox experience in a psych ward, and with the help of her brother, a MARR alumnus, Penelope made it from San Francisco to admit to MARR’s women’s program, now called Traditions Recovery Center. Being new to the South, she felt like a fish out of water, but she hung in and found recovery and made lifelong friendships. Penelope discusses the principles she learned in early recovery, which she still uses to this day 20 years later. She also shares how she learned to accept and share love from people she thought she had nothing in common with.
0:01 Intro
1:33 History of addiction
4:50 Starting on crystal meth
6:30 Calling 9-1-1 for help
8:55 Getting to MARR
10:55 Acknowledging she had a drug problem
14:00 Lifelong friendships she made at MARR
15:12 Being a woman in recovery
19:03 Dealing with conflict
20:08 Getting help for mental health issues
24:19 What MARR provided for her that helped her recovery
29:00 What she would pass on to others

Herschel was stuck in a rut, but he didn’t know he was an alcoholic. He just thought he was binge drinking a few nights a week. Whenever he ended up in jail as a result of his drinking, a family member would bail him out. But when he was 29, he wrecked a car when he was drunk and woke up in the hospital handcuffed to the bed. This time his parents said he had to go to MARR for treatment, or they were done with him. When he arrived at MARR, he was surprised to find out the people in recovery weren’t miserable. In fact, he even began to experience moments of joy in sobriety. He was also able to learn about the disease that he was up against. He also talks about how MARR’s family program helped his family members as well.
0:01 Introduction
1:16 Before Herschel got to MARR
6:30 The importance of being miserable
10:58 The first day at MARR
12:20 People seemed pretty happy in recovery
15:40 Getting used to being in treatment groups
17:30 Learning about the disease
22:55 Family week in treatment
27:26 Manipulating family members
31:00 What changed over the course of treatment
37:50 What Herschel would pass on to people listening

Tad was well-known in the Atlanta community as a successful real estate developer. Then he was arrested for a DUI and made the news. In treatment, he learned that his business success didn’t necessarily translate into success in recovery. In fact, he found out that he needed to accept his weakness if he wanted to stay sober. By participating in community life at MARR and diving into 12-Step recovery, he found a way of life that provided him with peace of mind as he had never experienced before.
0:00 Intro
1:00 Tad describes his drinking career
5:55 Arriving at MARR
11:30 The benefit of being hopeless
14:27 Being denied leave during treatment
19:34 The arc of decision
21:50 The love he feels for his counselors at MARR
27:45 What Tad would say to an older person who needs recovery
31:40 The benefits of hitting bottom publicly
32:25 Learning to be just another community member
35:20 Everything at MARR is practicing for life
39:35 Learning how to build community

Anna K., an anesthesiologist with over 20 years of sobriety, vividly describes an unforgettable night when she gave herself a combination of the narcotics she would administer to patients. This crisis event forced her to confront her own addiction and seek help. Throughout her recovery, Anna has had what she describes as an “exciting period of discovery,”  getting to understand and heal the inner conflicts that were underneath her substance abuse. As part of that process, she got to look at how much of her activity and outward success was driven by an aching need “to matter.”  Now, very active in her recovery, she lives a life of profound connection and meaning, extending help to others who are suffering as she was. Even more than the gratitude she has for her own life, she is overwhelmingly grateful that recovery changed the trajectory of her children’s lives as well.
0:01 – Intro
1:28 – The crisis that brought Anna to treatment
5:34 – Previous attempt at getting sober
9:00 – Beneficial effect of working the 4th and 5th Steps
11:00 – Getting used to 12 Step meetings and a sponsor
14:35 – Learning to get in touch with difficult feelings
18:14 – The progression of Anna’s drinking and drug use
24:40 – Benefits of the Recovering Professionals Program
30:17 – How recovery changed her children’s lives
32:20 – Getting involved in Al-Anon
39:57 – Changing her ideas about God
41:45 – What she would pass on to people listening

When you are entrusting yourself or your loved ones into the care of a counseling staff, you want to know what those counselors are like, what they care about, and how they treat the clients. On this episode, you will get some answers to those questions and a sense of the caring and compassionate approach adopted by MARR’s professional clinical staff.  The Men’s Recovery Center Director Will Atkins describes the powerful experience of working with people in early recovery and the team-based approach that they take to giving their clients the best possible care. As a person who has never had a substance use disorder himself, Will explains what he has learned over the years from people engaging in Twelve Step Recovery and how he can’t imagine doing anything else.
0:01 Intro
2:18 How Will got into addiction counseling
4:15 The powerful vulnerability of people in recovery
7:40 How Will began practicing the same vulnerability they were asking the clients to participate in
8:52 What Will has learned from people in early recovery
11:45 How the vulnerability he learned as MARR has affected his life outside of work
14:50 The types of changes Will has seen in people’s lives working at MARR
18:35 Stepping into the role of Men’s Recovery Center Director
25:23 How the clinical staff practices the same principles they ask the clients to practices
28:41 Providing treatment during COVID-19
31:20 One thing Will would pass on to people who are listening
35:47 Closing

Between her former husband, her brother, and her sister-in-law, Melissa had been surrounded by people in active addiction for years. She was loaning money, bailing people out of jail, and doing whatever she could to try to help. But like many people in this position, all her efforts didn’t seem to get anywhere. In fact, the addictions of her loved ones and their consequences only seemed to be getting worse. She was exhausted and didn’t know what to do, only that she couldn’t keep going the way she was. It was about that time that she was on Facebook and came across Addressing Addiction in the Home, a workbook put together by us here at MARR for family members in Melissa’s position. She started going through the workbook filling the pages with her own examples of how she had been pulled into the family disease of addiction. She began bringing the workbook to her therapist to get support in changing how she interacted with her family members. She shares with us some of the insights she has gained as a result of working through this material, and how she has started her recovery from the family disease. If you’re interested in checking out the workbook for yourself, visit www.marrinc.org/workbook.
0:01 – Intro
2:38 How Melissa heard about MARR
9:00 Learning about the disease of addiction
11:30 The family disease of addiction
13:20 Building tolerance for the addict’s behavior
15:40 Addiction is a monster that everyone’s feeding
16:20 Realizing how she had been enabling
18:20 How it felt to see things differently
20:29 The difficulty of setting boundaries
23:20 The urge to jump in and rescue
26:52 What Melissa would pass on to people who are listening

“That’s when I found God.” This is how Christopher recalls what it felt like to take hydrocodone for the first time.  But before long, his addiction took a brutal hold of his life in the middle of a successful career as a doctor. Despite having everything, he eventually found himself in a place where he wanted to die, and he couldn’t understand why. After two stints in treatment, he stayed sober for 17 years. But he explains how he was starting his relapse long before he actually picked up a drug. After another intervention, he ended up in treatment a third time, but this time was at MARR. Through the loving confrontation of his counselors and support of the community, Christopher began the process of humbling himself and being honest about what was really going on. He learned to stop looking for validation from external things and to begin to take joy in his recovery and helping others. 
0:01 – Intro
1:41 – High school, college, and med school
3:30 – Taking hydrocodone for the first time
6:38 – On the outside, it looked like he had everything
12:18 – Spending 17 years in recovery
13:00 – Relapse behavior starts long before the actual relapse
16:14 – The first day at MARR
19:00 – Learning to open up
27:16 – Living in the residence with other clients
29:49 – Healing in the family relationships
32:31 – Going back to being a doctor in recovery
35:42 – Things he still does to stay sober and content
39:05 – What he would pass on to others if he could

Despite a significant opiate addiction, Eric was making good money and eventually was even offered a position as vice president at his company. Initially, he had thought drugs were just providing a helpful way to cope with the frustrations of daily life. But he could see his opiate addiction was escalating when he lost his friend to an overdose. He found that, despite his determination to stop, he was unable to do it on his own. After passing out from an overdose behind the wheel of his car, he ended up at MARR at the age of 30. Eric discusses his humbling experience of coming to MARR and how he began learning to rely on others. After treatment, everything was going so well that he thought he could drink since alcohol wasn’t his drug of choice. However, he found himself soon going down a familiar path. Thanks to the foundation he laid at MARR, he was able to reach out for help before his whole life collapsed. He got clean and sober again and remains extremely involved by volunteering in our recovering professional’s program.
0:00 Intro
1:43 Eric’s history with opiate addiction
4:28 Losing a best friend to an overdose
9:00 The straw that broke the camel’s back
15:36 I came into MARR fighting
19:23 Settling into the residential community
20:49 Volunteering at the mental health facility and empathizing with the suffering
26:30 Getting out of MARR and trying to drink normally
28:27 Coming clean about what happened
33:00 I didn’t have to lose everything
37:41 What humility means to me today
41:11 What I would pass on to others

Caitlin started drinking at 15, around the same time that her mom was diagnosed with cancer. By the time she was 20, Caitlin’s mother had passed away, and her father was also sick and dying of cancer. In college, her alcoholism had progressed to the point that she was hospitalized with a .60 blood alcohol level. While helping take care of her parents and dealing with her grief, she states there were years in which she “didn’t draw a sober breath.” At the age of 20, her brother intervened and got her into MARR. As she was able to surrender to the process of recovery, she started to see that she had a community to help her through her losses. She also saw that she was being given a life that she could not have imagined for herself. For the past six years, Caitlin has been working in the treatment field for BRC Recovery, after being hired by a former fellow client she met at MARR.
0:01 Introduction
1:58 Parents diagnosed with cancer
3:35 Coming to terms with alcoholism
5:50 Hospitalization
7:00 Detox and first treatment
8:20 Going to MARR for treatment
13:30 The family program
16:20 Losing her father and staying sober
18:00 Turning points during treatment
21:18 Learning to be real about your feelings
25:00 Working in the treatment field
27:11 Advice to somebody thinking about treatment
28:40 Gratitude and resentment can’t coexist
31:17 One piece of advice I would pass on

Jasmine shares her transformative experience as part of MARR’s Right Side Up Women and Children’s Recovery Center program. Before coming to RSU, she lived in a room where she blocked out all the light. While in treatment, she gradually came around to what they were teaching at RSU and the importance of accountability and structure. She now is a bright embodiment of the RSU principles and way of life, serving on the alumni committee and regularly volunteering at groups with current clients. It was Jasmine who began using the phrase “No Matter What” with women in treatment to remind them that recovery is always possible. The phrase has since become something of a motto and mission statement for the women of RSU.
0:01 – Intro to Jasmine’s Story
1:15 – Watching A&E’s Intervention in “the dungeon”
5:02 – Taking a bus from Chicago to Atlanta to get to MARR
8:22 – Being a parent in recovery
10:30 – Giving up resistance to treatment
18:01 – Staying involved after treatment
24:22 – What “No Matter What” means to me
31:26 – What’s unique about Right Side Up?
34:40 – Treatment is a temporary investment that can pay off for the rest of your life
37:24 – Closing

After college, Gil spent a short time as a police officer who was addicted to drugs but was also arresting people for drugs. He thought that if he became a pastor like his father, he could maybe clean up his act. But the drugs, alcohol, and need for approval followed him into the pulpit as well, and he found himself increasingly dependent on his addictions to carry out his duties. Despite having a Ph.D. in theology, it wasn’t until he got to treatment at MARR and started working at The Waffle House that he finally encountered the God he’d been seeking for so long.
0:01 Introduction
1:20 Beginning of drinking and drug use
2:46 Becoming a police officer
5:51 Deciding to become a pastor
9:06 Getting back into drugs
11:06 Addicted to people
16:14 Intervention
20:00 Getting to MARR
29:00 Finally hitting bottom
35:22 A spiritual experience at The Waffle House
38:16 Moving into the Salvation Army
44:06 Getting back into the ministry

We all face moments where we are completely overwhelmed by the problems we are facing and the situations we find ourselves in. At these times, all of the strengths, tools, and strategies that seemed to work to help us push through or deal with our problems just don’t work any more. Depleted, desperate, and afraid, we KNOW that asking for help is the only way things are going to get better, but it somehow still feels like the last thing in the world that we want to do.  
Kimberly Alexander, MBA, LPC, CPCS, decided to become a therapist because she recognized the power of meeting people when they are in those moments. She saw firsthand  the impact it had on people when they feel seen and heard in their most vulnerable moments. In this episode, we discuss the importance of recognizing that the fear we feel in such moments is real, but by allowing the parts of ourselves we’ve been hiding to be seen in a safe environment we can begin to heal and find hope. 
As the new Chief Clinical Officer at MARR Addiction Treatment Centers, Kimberly shares how she sees MARR as fostering a safe place for vulnerability and the growth that comes with it.
0:01 – Intro to Kimberly Alexander
2:15 – Why I became a therapist
10:45 – Cooccurring disorders (addiction and other mental health issues)
15:23 – When is a “functioning alcoholic/addict” no longer functional?
19:35 – The terrifying and necessary moment of reaching out for help
24:35 – Why is accepting my fear and shame necessary for growth?
28:30 – What does a holistic rebuilding process look like?
31:55 – Why can’t I just get better by reading a book?
41:22 – Relaxing into being yourself
46:33 – DBT: bringing together our logical and emotional sides to make up the Wise Mind
52:47 – Closing

How does a person go from living in the woods and running from bloodhounds to holding his community accountable to protect his fellow clients in treatment? At our treatment centers, we use community living as a therapeutic tool to teach real-world recovery skills. Cris S.’s story is evidence of this. He shares his experience at MARR and talks about how healthy, recovery-focused choices can be contagious. Cris lives in Kentucky, and we did this interview remotely via an internet connection so you may notice a difference in the sound quality.

Self-acceptance is an important part of recovery. Growing up gay in a community where that wasn’t accepted, Keith W. felt flawed—like something was wrong with him. When he found drugs and alcohol, he found relief. While drinking and using heavily, he made it through pharmacy school and even started his career. He transitioned away from using drugs, but had to drink even more heavily to make up for it. Somehow he maintained his career at the same time. With the help of another pharmacist friend who was in recovery, he ended up at MARR for treatment in the professionals program. He began a journey of healing and self-acceptance before eventually returning to his job as a pharmacist in a career that he loves.

In this episode we hear from Nicole T., a medical professional who went through MARR when she was 19 years old, long before her career started.
Later, as her career was getting going, she relapsed and stayed active in her alcoholism and addiction for 3 years. Her parents wanted to send her back to MARR but hadn’t reach out yet, unsure whether they would be able to afford the program.
However, the family unexpectedly heard from MARR during this crisis and they were offered a scholarship. Today we will hear Nicole’s story of how she ended up coming back to MARR and getting back into recovery.
We will also hear from Gigi Barnes, the woman who was working at MARR, who happened to reach out to Nicole’s family during this time.
This is the first episode that we weren’t able to record in the studio because of the COVID-19 restrictions, so you might notice a difference in the audio quality.
This episode is also specially highlighting our Annual Fund Campaign. One of our goals this year is to raise money for our scholarship fund so people like Nicole can come to treatment, even if they don’t have all the resources to pay for it. Last year we gave out 56 scholarships to help people come to MARR. If you would like to pitch in, you can donate through our website. 

What are some of the specific ways a parent’s addiction affects the lives of their children? How do parents who are in recovery start to rebuild the family’s home life?
These are the questions that the staff members of MARR’s Right Side Up program address on a daily basis. Alisa Sawyer is a Therapeutic Child Care Coordinator at Right Side Up and has been with the organization for 15 years.  In this position she works with both mothers in early recovery and their children. She talks about the different ways she has seen addiction in the home affect the children she works with. She also shares about how structure and consistency are crucial components for rebuilding family life.
Other episodes on addiction in the family:
Ep 42: The Whole Family Can Recovery
Ep. 39: How to Talk to a Loved One About Their Addiction

What is the role of prayer in recovery? What if I’m not religious, or don’t even believe in God?  Can prayer help me in uncertain times? Can it help me in the face of COVID-19? 
Ashley McQueen (episode 4) and Jordan Detweiler (episode 24 and the article “My Heroin Addiction”) are MARR counselors who are in long-term recovery. Both of them always bring a calming, Zen-like presence into the room. They are not particularly religious or “church guys,” but prayer is important in their lives and a part of how they stay connected. 
We talk about how prayer works for them—how it is about asking for ways to be helpful, being open, staying grounded, and saying “yes” to life, even in the face of a global pandemic. 
 

Alison Broderick and Matt Erwin are both in long-term recovery. Matt was Alison’s DUI course instructor. At the time, Alison didn’t think she was an alcoholic, but was intrigued with the course material. She stayed in touch with Matt after the class was over. She would reach out to Matt as she continued to have questions about her drinking. They discuss the journey Alison took to accepting her powerlessness over alcohol and the freedom that acceptance eventually brought her. 
 

When Matt R. was in treatment, his wife at the time was also in treatment separate from him. He describes the difficulty of focusing on his recovery and trying to let his wife focus on hers. Ultimately, she relapsed and was asked to leave her program. In an attempt to save her, Matt left his program and relapsed as well. He walks us through his journey of getting back into recovery using the tools he learned at MARR, and how he found a way to stay sober since, even through tragedy.
 

Matt R. was ready to end his life, or so he thought. What he learned in treatment and the relationships he built there allowed him to take another path. He starts us off by discussing the desperate places that addiction took him, and he also shares some of the moments in treatment that made a permanent impression on him. 
 

Tina C. had been abusing drugs since the age of 14, but she didn’t know anything about addiction. She was headed for prison when she was offered a last minute opportunity to go to treatment instead. Despite being terrified, she took the opportunity and came to MARR’s Right Side Up Program for help. Nearly 8 years later she is in a well-established professional career, is the head of the Right Side Up Alumni association, and remains extremely active in giving back to women who find themselves where she was. This is her story.

Sometimes we are fortunate enough to see things come full circle.  Grey was the first admission to MARR who told the assessment team in his initial call that he had listened to the podcast. He came, he stayed, and today he is the head of the Men’s Alumni Association and works at our Men’s Recovery Center. It was truly a pleasure to talk with Grey about his experience at MARR. He discusses the unique approaches of the various counselors at MARR and his deepening relationships with them. He also shares how clients he was in treatment with here became some of his closest friends. It’s been a long and rewarding road since he made that first call, and now he’s trying to pass the hope he found on to someone else.
Happy Holidays. We’ll be back with Season 3 in January.

CEO of MARR Bill Anderson has worked in addiction treatment for 23 years, with 15 of those years at MARR. Over the course of his career, he has seen the treatment field from every angle. Through enforcing the house rules as a residential manager, helping clients process emotions as a primary counselor, working with families in admissions, sharing the clinical work with other professionals in business development, and overseeing the whole process as CEO, Bill has learned what is required to provide clients and their families the opportunity to recover. He shares his recommendations of what he thinks families should look for when finding a treatment center for their loved one. 

Overcoming shame in recovery is an important step in staying sober. This is particularly true for mothers and for professionals. Michelle was both. She had four children and a career as a full-time nurse. But alongside these responsibilities, she was addicted to pain pills. She spent her days rushing from one crisis to the next. Finally, she didn’t want to be sick anymore. While in treatment, she learned she never sat still long enough to feel her feelings. And when she did, she couldn’t even identify what feelings she had. She began accepting the help that the counselors and her community members extended to her. Through this process, she also accepted that she was not a “bad person” like her shame had been telling her. She was just someone who needed some help. Overcoming shame in recovery became possible through the power of connection and community.
0:01 Intro
0:52 What brought Michelle into MARR
4:40 Major consequences related to addiction beginning
8:00 Why she agreed to go to detox
9:58 Learning how to take care of herself
13:40 Thinking her career as a nurse was over
17:48 Starting to recognize her own feelings
22:22 Family counseling in early recovery
25:47 Receiving encouragement early on to stay
29:28 Sponsoring others now
30:23 What Michelle would pass on to people listening

Even though Philip was making $250 an hour as a medical professional, his addiction was making it impossible for him to pay his bills. But he ended up having a moment of clarity and checking into treatment. He was hoping to get out of treatment and jump back into his career as soon as possible. But a suspended license put him in a position where he was forced to slowly and deliberately proceed with the recovery process. Within the safety of the treatment setting, he was able to reconnect with his emotions and find long-term sobriety. 

Sometimes you meet somebody who is so deeply committed to the program and fellowship of recovery that they are able to stay sober no matter what tragedies happen in their life. Not only are they able to stay sober, but they still live a full and meaningful life with deep connections to others. Robert is one of those people. He shares with us what his life looked like before treatment, how he got to treatment, and what he’s done since to stay sober.

In this episode we hear from two therapists about perfectionism and how it is a major obstacle to long-term recovery. Director of MARR’s Women’s Center Cailey Binkley and a therapist from the community, Bianca Hughes, share how they have seen the unattainable goal of perfectionism continually undermine long-term recovery and meaningful connections to others. They also talk about how they both see themselves as people who need to address perfectionism in their own lives. Perfectionism keeps us separate, and letting go of perfectionism is not a one time thing—it is a practice.
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.
 

Sharon was a stay-at-home mom who didn’t have a drinking problem until she was in her forties. Her husband staged an intervention, and she went to MARR. After 90 days of treatment, she returned home. She maintained her sobriety for a while, but she knew there were parts of her past that she hadn’t dealt with. Eventually she relapsed. She returned to MARR to go through treatment again, this time with more willingness to do what was required for her to stay sober.  Today, she is connected with her family and her recovery community, and she enjoys a career that she never expected.
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.

In this episode, we hear from Dr. Brian Moore, a psychologist and interventionist. Drawing from his decades of experience working with people suffering from the disease and those closest to them, Dr. Moore shares his insights about how to talk to loved ones about their addiction. He also explains the importance of boundaries, and how family members are not responsible for their loved ones disease but that they can help provide opportunities for their loved ones to get help.
Special thanks to Kaiser Permanente of Georgia for their generous support for our services.
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.

Jeff B. was a chief of staff for a county commissioner. Then he made the evening news after being arrested in a hotel room for possession of crack cocaine. After 3 days in jail, he ended up coming to MARR. Through his time in treatment, he learned that he was not entitled to special privileges because of his job, but that he was just another man who needed help. He connected with his counselors and his community and learned that he was much more than what he did for a living. 
Special thanks to Kaiser Permanente of Georgia for their generous support for our services.
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.
 

Lane H. is a practicing dentist who came to MARR after facing dramatic consequences in his career related to his addiction. He describes the circumstances of how he arrived at MARR and what his treatment looked like in the Recovering Professionals Program at MARR. We will also hear from staff members Rick McKain and Doug Brush about how the program helps restore clients to good standing in their careers.
With help from from GreyStone Power Foundation and Waffle House Foundation, we are celebrating our professionals program by giving a way a limited number of copies of our new booklet Addressing Addiction in the Workplace by Jim Seckman. Just use the promo code WORKPLACE. 
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.

After 11 years, Paul Thim is retiring from his position as a primary counselor at the Men’s Recovery Center at MARR.  Paul discusses what he learned during this time as a counselor at MARR and how the field of substance abuse treatment complemented his career as an Episcopal priest. He also reflects on the role of spirituality in recovery and the things he learned from his fellow counselors who are in recovery.
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.

Darrell knows desperation firsthand. He describes his first drink at age 15 as a spiritual experience—something he needed without realizing he needed it. Alcohol worked for him for about a year. The next several decades were full of fear and confusion. Eventually he made his way to MARR, coming to treatment here twice, and getting kicked out the second time. An avowed atheist, he finally got desperate enough to ask for help from a Higher Power, which he was able to find with the help of his cat. 

Ashley was drinking constantly and could not tolerate being alone. She wanted help, but she only wanted it on specific terms. For example, she didn’t want to do a 12 Step based treatment program.  But after hearing from Stacee F. about her family’s experience with MARR, Ashley found some willingness and checked into MARR. Now she has a whole new life with meaningful connections like she didn’t have before, and a place where she can come back to feel safe.
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

Research has shown, and continues to show, that shame and addiction go hand in hand. In this episode, we hear from two counselors on the topic of treating clients with addiction and how addressing shame is foundational to recovery. Our guests today are Patrice Alexander and experienced Atlanta-based therapist who works in private practice, Alyce Wellons.

Corky says that recovery was like climbing out of a dark cave he didn’t even know he was in.  A self-described “wreck” with a blood pressure of 220/140, he came into treatment at MARR almost 17 years ago. For over two months, he spent his time planning to get drunk when he left. Then the miracle happened: he found a Higher Power. After staying at MARR for 5 months, he returned home with a newfound freedom, better than anything he experienced before he began drinking. 
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

Entering recovery doesn’t mean that life becomes trouble-free. Recovery involves setbacks, disappointments, and emotionally charged, frightening moments. In the last episode, Lindsey described the progression of her alcoholism, but here she describes the progression of her recovery. The stories she tells from her time in treatment at MARR demonstrate how stopping drinking and using is just the beginning of the recovery process.
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

When Lindsey started drinking during her senior year of high school she was already blacking out. By the time she called MARR over 10 years later, she had lost her dream job due to her alcoholism and thought her life was over. She found out through experience that she might be able to stop drinking temporarily, but was unable to keep herself from beginning to drink again.
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

Dave Devitt checked into MARR in January 1987. Eventually he made his way back to school to study psychology in order to understand the disease he suffered from and learn how he could help others. Now as one of MARR’s longstanding and beloved counselors, he reflects on his time both as a client and counselor at MARR. 

One of them was crawling under his house disconnecting the phones to protect himself. Another had the DEA show up at his place of business with guns and badges. The third was discharged from the Navy and caught stealing wallets from young women at a bar. Those are the situations that brought them into treatment years ago. Now Rich, Hank, and David are long-term alumni who have stayed involved with MARR and been part of the community for several decades. They have been able to watch miracles occur in each others lives over the years.
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.

I needed to get drunk to be in a bathing suit. I couldn’t be intimate with my partner sober.  These are just some of the stories that Alison Makely hears as the Disordered Eating Therapist at the Women’s Recovery Center. She discusses the practice of body acceptance at MARR and its important for recovery.  Also, disordered eating encompasses a wide range of behaviors, and Alison outlines the scope of what it can entail.
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.

Both Jordan and Kristen spend their days talking with potential clients and their families about coming into treatment at MARR. They talk about some of the initial concerns of clients and families–specifically cost, our reputation in the field, and how the non-profit structure allows us to provide the best treatment we can. They also share some of their background and how they got into the field of substance abuse treatment.
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.

Bruce characterizes himself as “feral” and “undomesticated” when he walked into the doors of MARR at 42.  A self-described smooth talking bar owner and salesmen, Bruce talks about how his continued involvement as part of the MARR family for over 15 years has allowed him to transform his outlook on life. He went from being someone who was only out for himself to being a dependable, loving family and community member. He has also helped countless new men in recovery over the years through volunteering at MARR and his work in the recovery community.
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.

One of the unique things about MARR as a treatment center is the level of community involvement from people are not counselors or clients but just volunteers. The MARR volunteers will all tell you that they continue to participate in the community because they get something out of it themselves. In this episode, I talk to two alumni who have stayed involved as volunteers for many years, Dave S. and Dave W. We are also joined by Dave W.’s wife, Aimee, who had no previous experience with addiction, but became involved after she met Dave W and saw the joyful and meaningful community she could be a part of.
Click here to sign up for text updates on new episodes.

Lindsey M. was the guest speaker at MARR’s Celebration of Recovery Banquet this year. She sits down at the podcast table to talk about how she has experienced a complete personality change through working the 12 steps and that by participating in that process she doesn’t let go of her fears, but rather her fears let go of her. We also talk about what it was like for her to share her story at the banquet in front of many people who know her from over a decade carrying on the message of recovery in the Metro Atlanta area.
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

Whether associated with MARR as alumni, family members, volunteers, current clients, staff, or outside professionals, every year friends of MARR gather to reconnect and recognize the lives that have been transformed in the course of the organization’s 40 plus years. Over 800 people were in attendance at this year’s Annual Celebration of Recovery Banquet and Alumni Pancake Breakfast. In this special live episode of the podcast, we get to hear more than 20 of those people share their experiences with MARR over the years. The connections they describe give meaning to MARR’s motto of “Community for Life.” And as their stories make clear, this community extends far beyond the physical space of MARR’s facilities.
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

Even though three years ago, Bryan was drinking himself to death in an apartment covered with beer cans, today he clearly states: “My problem was never drinking. It was how I think and feel inside that was never looked at, cured, tended to.” At MARR Bryan learned that underneath his easy-going exterior he was angrier than he had ever imagined. Well into his treatment, he was practicing a new way of life and experiencing joy for the first time in a while when he received a diagnosis of stage 4 cancer. The MARR community rallied around Bryan and has remained beside him throughout his cancer treatment. Today, despite still undergoing chemo, he says he is happier and more at peace than he has ever been.
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

What are the three most important elements for effective treatment? 1. Safety. 2. Safety. 3. Safety. At MARR this requires constant, careful attention to the health of the community, and the staff’s commitment to live by the same spiritual principles they are asking the clients to live by. Jim Seckman discusses how his 30 years of counseling experience and how participating in community facilitates the healing that all of us need, whether alcoholic, addict, or none of the above.
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

Amy felt like she was being forced into going to treatment for 90 days and that her life was over. Before long, she bonded with her counselor and the women in her community, and she realized that 90 days wasn’t long enough. She stayed a total of 9 months. Even now, she remains extremely close with her MARR counselor and the women she met here. Her life has come full circle, and now she gives job opportunities to women who are going through treatment at MARR.
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

Kelsey’s life was chaotic, and she used anger to make sure that her family members wouldn’t be able to help her. Finally she ended up in jail and losing custody of her child. That’s when she heard about MARR. She admitted to our program and started the long, difficult process of learning to become part of a community with the other women. She hated it, but she did it anyway. Now some of those women are her closest friends, and she still participates in our aftercare group at MARR on a regular basis. She discusses how MARR still helps her find a new way of being in the world allowing for happiness and peace of mind without feeling the need for substances.
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

Rita had an image of what treatment was going to look like, and she was sure that she wasn’t going to fit in. She was wrong. When she finally took a risk on being herself, she began feeling at home and laughing harder than she had for a long time. She talks with us about her transition in her relationship with MARR from patient to alumni volunteer to staff member. Now Rita is the first staff member to greet our women clients as they check in to our Women’s Recovery Center.
Click here to sign up for updates on new episodes.

Haley had been in treatment before and been sober for over 7 years before she relapsed and spent 5 months in active addiction. Then she checked into MARR. She experienced a much-needed welcome into the community and felt understood when she described the pain of having been sober and relapsing. In addition to her addiction, she also received treatment for her issues around eating, and after completing the program, she called her counselor at MARR for help and was able to remain sober through a time of crisis. She talks about how coming through MARR has allowed her to be part of a community for life.

In comparison to their male counterparts, women often face additional challenges when it comes to seeking substance abuse treatment. Therapists Cailey Binkley, Molly Bengochea and Talitha Klingberg discuss the added pressures that women typically encounter related to family roles as well as cultural biases and expectations. They also talk about how gender-specific treatment provides an environment conducive to healing shame and fostering lasting recovery.

When Jake checked into detox, he wasn’t planning on going into long-term treatment. But after he heard the stories of MARR clients who were volunteering at the detox facility, he decided to give the long-term treatment a shot. From an eventful first day until leaving the program a year later, Jake learned the lesson that being part of the community and showing up to take care of others allowed him to live a life filled with meaning and connection.

Since before they were married up until the present, Kathe S. and Richard S. have stayed close to MARR regardless of what has been going on in their marriage. But after getting sober, meeting in recovery and having children, they found their marriage in a crisis that involved relapse for one of them and “state of constant rage” for the other. They join us today to candidly talk about their entire journey as a couple in recovery.

As a person’s addiction progresses, the family of the addicted person often experiences the development of another disease without realizing it—the disease of codependency. With a loved one in active chemical addiction, it is easy for the lives of the other family members to become absorbed in the details of damage control and crisis management. In this situation, family members often forget to take care of themselves. Everyone suffers as a result. Patrice Alexander and Travis Ramsey talk about their experience working with families of MARR clients over the years. They explain how addiction functions a family disease and how setting boundaries can be the most loving step that families can take for their loved ones and for themselves.

In this episode, counselors working with men in treatment gather around the podcast table to talk about vulnerability, why it takes a community to foster recovery and the necessity of practicing the spiritual principles they preach. Other topics include how the opioid epidemic and increased potency of marijuana have affected the treatment experience for clients. Our panel includes therapists Doug Brush, Rick McKain, and Will Atkins.

Ashley M. started his journey in recovery when he checked into MARR in 2005. He shares with host Matt Shedd about being kicked out of the program, and how he was told that even though he couldn’t stay as a client that the staff viewed him as family. He was asked to stay on as a volunteer, and since then he has continued to stay involved. Ashley is now a full-time counselor at MARR.

Michelle L. and Tony L. lost their daughter to the disease of addiction 14 years ago. In the time since then, they were introduced to the resources MARR provides to family members of those in addiction. They share with host Matt Shedd about their participation in MARR’s spiritual life groups and how it has helped them personally.

At the young age of 22, Caryn B. found herself in the vicious cycle of addiction, struggling with unhealthy relationships and suicidal thoughts. She shares with host Matt Shedd what it was like to shed the masks she had been wearing, acknowledge her powerlessness, and find support in her community at MARR.

After almost losing his job and his marriage, entering outpatient treatment for addiction, and relapsing, Roland S. describes how he found redemption and lasting recovery within his MARR community. Roland discusses his journey to MARR with host Matt Shedd, and what his life has been like since.