Goin In Raw w/ Shakira Deshawn

Send us Fan Mail A few days ago, I found myself sitting with a feeling I hadn’t fully let in before. After years of distance, healing, and learning boundaries, I realized I miss my siblings… and parts of my mom too. I don’t know what this means yet or what the future looks like. Right now, I’m just allowing myself to sit with it instead of pushing it away. Maybe healing isn’t always about finding answers… sometimes it’s just about making space for what’s still there.

Send us Fan Mail In this episode, I open up about something I’m still learning — how to actually receive love, support, and care without shutting down or pushing it away. I talk about how my default has been to say “I’m fine” even when I’m not, and how that comes from a fear of disappointment and a lifetime of being the one who had to hold things together. But I’m realizing I can’t want closeness and still keep people at a distance. This is me learning how to let people in, let myself be seen...

Send us Fan Mail Life is interesting right now. I can feel things changing, but I can't fully see it reflected in my outer world yet. In this episode, I'm sharing where I am in this current season of life, figuring out what I want for the next 5–10 years, creating routines that support the woman I'm becoming, and learning how to balance faith, relationships, parenting, rest, productivity, and purpose. One of the biggest realizations I had while recording this episode was that I'm already livi...

Send us Fan Mail In this episode of Goin In Raw, I’m giving a real life update on everything that’s been shifting in my life lately — relationships, transformation, obedience, identity, and learning how to trust God even when I have no idea what He’s doing. I talk about entering a new relationship after years of being single, the discomfort of change, outgrowing old versions of myself, and what it feels like to be in a season where nothing feels fully clear yet. I don’t have all the answers r...

Send us Fan Mail This episode marks a shift. I’m no longer centered around heartbreak, pain, or what I went through. I’ve already shared the blueprint of my healing journey — now it’s time to walk in what God has been building in me. In this episode, I open up about entering a new chapter of life — one where I speak from healing instead of pain. I share how letting God into every part of my life transformed the way I see myself, my circumstances, and my future. This chapter isn’t about rel...

Send us Fan Mail At some point… you have to stop blaming your parents, your childhood, and everything that hurt you. Not because it didn’t matter. Not because it didn’t shape you. But because it’s no longer an excuse to stay the same. In this episode, we’re having an honest conversation about accountability — what it looks like to stop identifying with your trauma, to stop using your past as permission to stay stuck, and to finally take ownership of the life you say you want. Healing isn’t ju...

Send us Fan Mail Everybody loves the version of you that had no boundaries. The one who overextended, overexplained, and overgave just to keep the peace. But what happens when you stop? In this episode, we’re talking about the real cost of setting boundaries — the guilt, the pushback, the loneliness… and the identity shift that comes with choosing yourself for the first time. Because boundaries don’t just change your relationships — they expose them.

Send us Fan Mail The version of you that got you here? It was necessary. It was built for survival. But it is not who you are becoming. If you've been holding on to an old version of yourself because it feels safer than the unknown — this one is for you.

Send us Fan Mail A vulnerable conversation about surviving sexual abuse and learning how to move toward peace, forgiveness, and healing on your terms. This episode is about reclaiming your story, not minimizing harm.

Send us Fan Mail Before change can take place, you have to tell yourself the truth. No excuses. No filters. Just you, the mirror, and the reality of who you are right now. In this episode, we talk about sitting with that truth, accepting it without shame, but without denial.. and understanding that growth always asks for something in return! Comfort. old habits. Old stories. Sometimes old versions of yourself. Growth isn't free. But staying the same costs more.

Send us Fan Mail Last year, there were moments I didn't know how I would make it; financially, emotionally, spiritually. The bills were due and the answers weren't there. I learned what it really means to trust God when there's no backup plan. This episode is my testimony of waiting, faith, and being carried when didn't know how I would make it.

Send us Fan Mail In this episode I share the experiences that led me to cut ties, the weight of trying to hold on to a relationship that continued to hurt me, and what it means to finally choose peace over obligation. This is about healing, boundaries, and giving yourself permission to walk away when love no longer feels safe.

Send us Fan Mail In one of the darkest moments of my life, I prayed for God to take me away. Instead of answering the way I thought He would, He met me with His presence. In this episode, I share how God's mercy showed up to hold me when I felt lost, broken, and alone. If you've ever wrestled with despair or wondered if God hears your cries, this is for you.

Send us Fan Mail Another unpolished episode. It's not packaged pretty. It's where I am, right now. In this episode, I'm talking about what it really feels like to show up when you have nothing left. When your spirit is heavy, your mind is foggy, and life isn't making sense.. but somehow you still keep going. Somedays it feels like all of this is pointless. But even when I don't understand the why, I still hold on to the tiniest bit of faith.

Send us Fan Mail In this raw and necessary episode, we're talking about what it really means to break the cycle, not just in theory, but in the everyday moments of parenting. From flinching at hugs to struggling with presence, I open up about how trauma shaped my relationship with affection and how I choose to do the work anyway. This isn't about perfection. It's about being intentional, showing up, and healing the parts of me that want to shut down, so my kids don't have to carry what I neve...

Send us Fan Mail This episode is not polished. It's not wrapped in a bow. It's me in the middle of burnout, grief, transition, and straight up emotional exhaustion. I'm not on the other side of it. Im not here with answers. I'm just here to say; if you're numb, spiritually disconnected, mentally tired, and sick of being "the strong one"... same! This isn't for people who want a 5 step fix. It's for the ones silently breaking down while still showing up. No advice. No pretending. Just honest, ...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever felt like you're standing in your own way? We're talking about how fear, doubt, and self-sabotage keep us stuck--and how to finally break free. It's time for us to stop playing small, trust ourselves, and step into the life God has for us! We dive into the real reasons we sabotage our success, and most importantly, how to overcome them with faith. If you're ready to let go of fear and start moving with confidence, this one's for you!

Send us Fan Mail I genuinely feel sorry for the outstanding parents in the world that have to deal with the unnecessary bullshxt that comes from an unreasonable parent. It's very unfortunate for the children, but always know that these kids aren't dumb and are very aware of what said parent is doing. I sleep well knowing that I'm doing my best and giving my kids a sane logical mother. The relationship they have with their other parent has nothing to do with what I share with them. In the end,...

Send us Fan Mail Co-parenting with a toxic, narcissistic, and manipulative ex can feel like a never-ending battle. In this episode, we dive deep into what it’s like to raise children with someone who is selfish, disrespectful, and only cares about their own needs. From gaslighting and emotional manipulation to power struggles and disrespectful behavior, dealing with a narcissistic co-parent can take a major toll on your mental health and well-being. This video is a safe space for those ...

Send us Fan Mail In this season finale, I reflect on the transformative journey of vulnerability and healing. Opening up has fostered growth, resilience, and a renewed sense of hope. Embracing our past creates a brighter future and sharing our stories can lead to profound healing! Love & Light..

Send us Fan Mail *Trigger Warning* Growing up, I witnessed violence firsthand in my childhood home, where I saw arguments often escalate into physical confrontation. It left a deep imprint on me, shaping my view of relationships in ways I didn't fully understand at the time. As an adult, I found myself in relationships that mirrored that childhood turmoil. It always started subtly with harsh words, but one day would escalate into physical violence. Eventually I found the strength ...

Send us Fan Mail In this season of my life I'm allowing God to do his thing as I sit back, relax, and enjoy my single life. I had to release control because everything I want for myself, may not be what he wants for me.

Send us Fan Mail Trigger Warning!! This episode is pretty heavy. I take a dive into my sex*al abuse and the things I've gone through since. The journey hasn't been easy but I'm finally okay with what has happened to me and I'm still on a journey of being fully at peace with it.

Send us Fan Mail Healing looks different for everyone but after leaving my marriage, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and healing. Embracing solitude, I found peace and love within myself. This new chapter has been full of personal growth, self-compassion, and the joy of connecting with my true essence. Everyday I am more than grateful for the inner strength and clarity I've gained! Hope this helps your journey in one way or another!

Send us Fan Mail What's up y'all, this episode is a bit heavy. I'm sharing something really personal and opening up in a way I haven't before. It's a vulnerable moment, but I know we all go through ups and downs. I hope this can resonate with some of y'all. Thank you for the support and love as always. Let's grow together! Love & light!

Send us Fan Mail Chapter 1 Ep. 1