Podcasts by Category
How To Have Sex is the sex education you never got at school, and have been quietly winging ever since. Hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. One very curious host and one expert who actually knows the answers. Every episode tackles a real topic: how to improve your sex life, how to talk about intimacy without killing the mood, how to have better orgasms, how to spice things up in a long-term relationship.... you get the idea. Shame-free, refreshingly practical, and occasionally so mortifying you'll need to pause it. New episodes weekly.
Hosted by:
Jay-Jay Feeney - 30+ years in radio, trusted voice for Kiwi women.
Melissa Vranjes - Certified Sex & Relationship Coach, featured in VOGUE & GRAZIA
Together, we combine humour and expert knowledge to normalise conversations around sexual wellness.
Breaking taboos. Building confidence. Supporting modern intimacy.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
- 33 - How To Know If You're Normal Down There
Have you ever looked at your bits and wondered, “Is that normal?”
You're not alone! And this week, Jay-Jay and Mel are getting VERY personal.
We're talking about the insecurities nobody likes admitting to, from the appearance of our intimate body parts to erectile dysfunction, breast size and body confidence.
Jay-Jay has some questions about labia. Quite a few, actually. And when she compares them to the dangly bits on a chicken, Mel almost loses the plot.
But there's a serious side to this conversation, too.
Mel reveals how watching porn left her feeling ashamed of her own body for years, until a rather eye-opening experience with her girlfriends changed everything.
Jay-Jay shares a personal story about dating a young man with erectile dysfunction, and Mel explains why erection difficulties don't necessarily mean a lack of attraction, or the end of a satisfying sex life.
Plus, we're comparing boob jobs! Jay-Jay went smaller, Mel went bigger… then changed her mind.
In this episode, we explore:
Why intimate body parts come in all shapes, sizes and colours.How unrealistic expectations can damage body confidence.What causes erectile difficulties and how couples can navigate them together.The surprising connection between antidepressants and sexual wellbeing.Why feeling sexy isn't about having the 'perfect' body.Expect some genuinely useful relationship advice, a few vulnerable confessions and some spectacularly awkward questions.
Because when it comes to our bodies, different doesn't mean wrong.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
Subscribe to our Substack: https://hthspodcast.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
Email: howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland - https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 20 Oct 2026 - 53min - 32 - How To Come Back From Infidelity
Can you ever REALLY forgive someone for cheating? And even if you do, can your relationship ever be the same again?
This week, we're getting VERY personal.
Mel reveals that an ex-boyfriend cheated on her for a year and a half. At one point, another woman left his bed just TEN MINUTES before Mel arrived.
Then he turned up at her workplace with a fake name, carrying flowers and a $300 necklace to apologise.
Mel kept the necklace. 😂
Meanwhile, Jay-Jay admits she's both been cheated on AND done some cheating herself. We're not judging. Well, maybe a little.
But beyond the jaw-dropping stories, we're tackling some big relationship questions.
Why do people cheat, even when they love their partners?Are emotional affairs worse than physical ones?Can you rebuild trust after betrayal?How do you become intimate again when your partner has broken your heart?Is "once a cheater, always a cheater" actually true?Can a relationship become better after an affair?Mel shares practical advice for recovering from infidelity, understanding what went wrong, rebuilding emotional connection and deciding whether a relationship is worth saving.
It's messy, honest, surprisingly funny and possibly one of our most revealing conversations yet.
Sometimes the hardest part isn't forgiving someone else. It's learning to trust yourself again.
ABOUT HOW TO HAVE SEX
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
Subscribe to our Substack: https://hthspodcast.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
Email: howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland – https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
Website: www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
READY TO TAKE THINGS FURTHER?
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School:
https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 13 Oct 2026 - 55min - 31 - How To Choose & Use Adult Toys For Couples
Warning: there may be batteries. There may be buzzing. There will definitely be a Batman-shaped cock ring.
This week Jay-Jay Feeney and sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes tip a giant box of toys onto the bed and work out what couples should actually be playing with. Whether you're a total beginner or your bedside drawer is already full, Mel walks through how to choose a toy based on the sensation you want, why a toy is never "competition" for your partner, and how shopping together can open up the best conversations about pleasure.
We cover:
Why toys aren't a sign something's missing (and how they help through pregnancy, perimenopause and erectile changes)Starting with the feeling you want: vibration, suction, sensation play, a bit of spanking...Dual-stimulation toys, pinpoint vibrators and why "solo" toys work brilliantly for twoRings, strokers and double-ended toys, with live (clothed!) demosWearables, remote apps, and Mel's very sneaky cafe date with SteveThe biggest mistake couples make when bringing a toy into bedCleaning, materials, lube, charging and why you should never buy your toys from a bargain sitePlus: Jay-Jay figures out why toys have always made her feel awkward. Mel's mum makes her bed and finds a surprise. A dildo comes back from the bin. And we deliver a sex swing review nobody asked for.
Want to see the toys? Watch the full uncensored video on our Substack or Apple Podcasts..
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
This episode is brought to you by Adult Toy Megastore, New Zealand's favourite place for everything adult, with the country's biggest range, great prices and discreet delivery. Use code TOY15at adulttoymegastore.co.nz for 15% off.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 06 Oct 2026 - 1h 01min - 30 - How To Stop Resentment From Killing Your Sex Life
Not in the mood? It might not be your libido. You might just be really, really annoyed.
Jay-Jay Feeney and sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get into the sneaky way resentment shuts down desire. It's not always the big stuff. It's the bins, the groceries, the school notices, and always being the one who "just does it". All those little crumbs get swept under the rug until you're tripping over it, and your body goes absolutely not the second your partner reaches for you.
We chat about:
Why so many of us mistake resentment for a low sex driveHow love languages can make or break intimacy (plus Jay-Jay's hand-kissing drama)The mental load, sharing chores, and why nobody wants to mother their loverIn-laws, infidelity, and holding onto hurt for yearsThe slightly confronting question Mel gets her clients to ask: "How have I enabled this?"What to actually say when you're ready to talk about itAngry sex, duty sex (we don't do duty sex on this podcast... mostly), and why sex can't fix the problem on its ownRebuilding non-sexual touch, finding yourself again, and bringing the fun backSpoiler: it's repair before seduction. Every time.
This episode is brought to you by Datebox: fun, playful date nights delivered to your door, no babysitter or planning needed. Use code HTHS at datebox.nz for 10% off (it stacks with their other offers too).
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
Subscribe to our Substack: https://hthspodcast.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
Email: howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland - https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 29 Sep 2026 - 35min - 29 - How To Find The Best Positions That Work For Women
The best position isn’t necessarily the one that looks hottest in the Kama Sutra.
This week, Jay-Jay Feeney and Melissa Vranjes are getting into positions - several of them, and figure out what actually makes one feel GOOD.
Because different bodies like different things. You might not need a brand-new position altogether; maybe it’s a pillow, a tiny change in angle, a slower rhythm, more connection… or simply admitting, “Yeah, I hate this one.”
We talk about:
• Why there’s no single “best” position for women
• Comfort, connection and pleasure, and why they matter more than looking sexy
• Small adjustments that can completely change how a position feels
• Positions that allow more control over rhythm, pressure and depth
• Why spooning deserves more respect
• Why some popular positions can feel awkward, uncomfortable or just plain exhausting
• Pelvic floor tension and choosing positions where your body can relax
• How solo exploration can help you understand what works for you
• What to do when your partner LOVES a position that you really don’t
• Why novelty can be fun without every new position needing to end in fireworks
• And why Jay-Jay probably doesn’t need the Kama Sutra after all
Plus, Mel shares her favourite starting points for women who want more pleasure, comfort and connection, and Jay-Jay shares rather more about her own preferences than she probably intended.
The big takeaway? Stop worrying about what looks sexy and start paying attention to what FEELS sexy.
How To Have Sex is hosted by Jay-Jay Feeney and sex & relationship coach Melissa Vranjes.
Send us your questions, stories and awkward bedroom dilemmas through our socials — the links are below.
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How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
Subscribe to our Substack: https://hthspodcast.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
Email: howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland - https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 22 Sep 2026 - 45min - 28 - How To Get Back In The Dating Game
Freshly single and not sure where to even start? Jay-Jay and Mel get into everything about getting back into the dating scene: why so many women are done settling for less, why dating apps leave everyone feeling weirdly empty, and how to tell the difference between nerves and real chemistry on a first date (spoiler: your body genuinely can't tell them apart).
Plus: Mel's first-date story involving a 6:30am run, a firefighter, and a fart she could not hold in. It's not a serious episode start to finish - expect real advice and real laughs in equal measure.
They also cover flipping the confidence script so dating feels less like a job interview, why "friend-group dates" might be the underrated move, when (and how) to tell someone you've got kids, and what actually makes a date feel good.
If you're nervous about getting back out there, consider this your pep talk.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
Subscribe to our Substack: https://hthspodcast.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
Email: howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland - https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 15 Sep 2026 - 44min - 27 - How To Have Hot Group Sex
Grab an extra pillow. Actually, grab a few …. this week there's a waiting list outside the bedroom door.
Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes are back in bed together for one of the most requested (and most avoided) topics yet: group sex. It turns out this has quietly been one of Mel's ultimate fantasies all along, and once she's finally cornered into admitting it, the conversation goes places…. including her actual, very unplanned real-life experience, and Jay-Jay's confession that she's had not one, not two, but three threesomes.
This episode is equal parts hilarious and genuinely useful. They dig into why the fantasy of "ten hot strangers" rarely survives contact with reality, what separates a threesome that's fun from one that quietly ends a relationship, and how jealousy shows up even when everyone agreed to the whole thing beforehand. They also get into the nuts and bolts nobody wants to ask about out loud: sexual health, testing, condom etiquette when there's more than two people involved, and what proper aftercare actually looks like once the night is over.
In this episode:
Why the fantasy version of group sex (control, safety, zero logistics) is nothing like the real thingMel's honest, cringe-and-all retelling of her one experience with multiple partners, and everything she'd do differentlyJay-Jay finally spills on her three threesomes, including the one that felt like a "tag team" and the one that didn'tThe difference between having a fantasy and actually wanting to live it outJealousy, the fear of loss underneath it, and why it can wreck a relationship even when everyone consented going inWhether it's easier to explore this single, in an open relationship, or with your long-term partnerHow to actually bring it up with a stranger, a partner, or at a bar without making it weirdWhat sex parties are really like (and how people actually find them)The one question you need to ask yourself before saying yes to anyone else's fantasy: why do I actually want this?Sexual health real talk … testing, condoms between partners, and having that conversation before things get goingAftercare for more than two: what it looks like, why it matters, and how simple it can beWhat "liberating" actually means here (hint: it's not about how wild you get)Whether group sex is a fantasy that's just for your own head, something you're curious to explore, or a story you've already got your own version of, this episode gives you the real talk, the pitfalls, and the tools to make it a good experience rather than a cautionary tale.
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How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
Subscribe to our Substack: https://hthspodcast.substack.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
Email: howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How to Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland - https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS: Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach www.melissavranjes.com Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 08 Sep 2026 - 46min - 26 - How To Have A Great Sex Life As Parents
Congratulations, you got the kids to sleep! Now lock the door.... this episode is just getting started.
Jay-Jay Feeney and certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes sit down for one of the most requested topics yet: how to actually have a sex life once you've got kids. Melissa is three months postpartum with her second baby and deep in the newborn trenches, so this one's personal, honest, and refreshingly unfiltered.
Together they unpack why parenthood doesn't kill your libido so much as it completely rewires it. From spontaneous desire to something Melissa calls "responsive desire," and from candlelit dates to a stolen 90 seconds between nappy changes.
In this episode:
Why "need-driven touch" (hello, breastfeeding) can leave you touched out and not exactly craving more contact from your partnerSpontaneous vs. responsive desire, and why waiting to "feel horny" first might be the whole problem"Chore Play": how unloading the dishwasher can genuinely be foreplayMelissa's raw, three-months-postpartum update on her own body, libido, and relationshipWhy exhaustion, not lack of attraction, is public enemy number one for parents' sex livesThe gentle way she and her husband reconnected physically after birth, with zero pressureThe "sex menu": a 5-minute, 10-minute and 30-minute system for intimacy on the busiest nightsGetting your privacy back (a lock on the door is doing more heavy lifting than you'd think)"Sexual currency" - the small everyday moments that quietly build (or kill) desireWhy obligatory sex causes more long-term damage than just... not having sexThe weekly relationship check-in that keeps resentment from creeping inWhether you're in the newborn haze, wrangling a toddler, or years into parenting and just want your spark back, consider this your permission slip to stop chasing your old sex life and start building a new one that actually fits this season.
Next week: How to Have Mind-Blowing Group Sex 👀
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 01 Sep 2026 - 50min - 25 - How To Have Wild Casual Sex
Mel is back in the saddle (well, the bed) after maternity leave, and she and Jay-Jay are diving straight into one of the most requested topics on the show: casual sex. Not the drunk, regretful, "what happened last night" kind; the confident, consensual, genuinely great kind.
This week they cover where to actually meet people now that everyone's exhausted by dating apps, why the word "slut" deserves a serious rebrand, and the very real hormonal reason women tend to catch feelings faster after a good hookup (sorry, it's science).
There's also the truth about STIs in retirement villages (yes, really), what to pack for a one-night stand, and Mel's confession about the "Caribbean man" fantasy that absolutely did not go to plan.
Funny, filthy in the best way, and genuinely useful.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 25 Aug 2026 - 51min - 24 - How To Have Powerful, Internal Orgasms
Think you've never had an internal orgasm... or wondering if you're even capable of one? This week Jay-Jay and Mel are getting very hands-on (literally) with everything you need to know about internal, G-spot and cervical orgasms.
Mel breaks down why internal orgasms feel so different from clitoral ones, why they're harder to access, and why almost every woman has the anatomy to experience one (it's a skill you can learn, not a lottery you either win or lose).
They map out the G-spot, the A-spot, the cervix and a couple of letters you've probably never heard of, bust the myth that it's all about "technique," and share the embarrassing, awkward, and occasionally accidental stories of their own first orgasms (bike-related and otherwise).
Expect real talk on arousal and engorgement, why rushing straight to penetration rarely works, the "come here" motion everyone's Googling, breathwork, pelvic floor tricks, and a step-by-step game plan you can try tonight - solo or with a partner.
New episodes every week. Class is officially in session.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 18 Aug 2026 - 45min - 23 - How To Come Back To Sex After a Dry Spell
Been a while? No judgment here. Dust off the cobwebs, we've got you. This week Jay-Jay and Mel are talking dry spells: what actually counts as one, why they happen even in happy relationships, and how to come back from one without the pressure of "perfect" sex.
We bust the myth about your vagina supposedly "closing up" after a few dry years, unpack why going straight from zero to hero is a bad idea, and get into vaginismus, pelvic floor health, and why penetration might be the last thing you want to put back on the table. Then things get really interesting with a deep dive into body workers and internal mapping … Jay-Jay needed convincing this was a real job.
There's also a very relatable tangent about trying to reconnect with your partner while the dog watches from the end of the bed, plus practical tools: sexual currency, breathwork, self-pleasure as a way back in, and the exact question to ask a partner who's gone quiet on sex.
Whether you're single and out of practice or years deep in a relationship drift, this one's for you.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 11 Aug 2026 - 51min - 22 - How to Get Really Turned On
Ever been genuinely attracted to someone and still felt... nothing? Or found a candle way more arousing than anything actually sexual? This week Jay-Jay and Mel dig into the real psychology of arousal: what turns you on, why it's not as simple as "just get in the mood," and how to figure out your own erotic blueprint.
Mel introduces the erotic mind map, a tool she uses with her one-on-one clients, and puts Jay-Jay through it live on the mic. What starts as a laugh turns into a surprisingly honest conversation about connection, desire, exhibitionism, and a confession involving a romantic liason on a golf course!
You'll learn the difference between liking a sex act and actually feeling turned on, how porn and pop culture shape what we think should arouse us, and a simple brakes and accelerators exercise you can try tonight.
Plus: a Wild Secrets giveaway!
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Mon, 03 Aug 2026 - 47min - 21 - How To Get Out Of Your Head During Sex
Ever been fully naked, fully touched, and but still mentally reviewing the grocery list? Welcome to the club. This week Jay-Jay and Mel unpack why so many of us check out during sex, even when everything happening is objectively hot.
They dig into the classic thinking-brain-versus-feeling-body problem, why meditation was never really about clearing your mind, the wild timing gap between when men and women tend to orgasm, and how old trauma responses like fawning can silently hijack your sex life without you noticing. Then Mel walks through her five go-to somatic tools, breath, awareness, movement, touch and sound, and demonstrates them live on the mic. Results: mixed, honest, very funny.
Plus: redefining the quickie (it does not have to mean five minutes flat), the truth about lube, and why your partner genuinely cannot read your mind, so stop expecting them to.
Homework included. Bring tissues, or don't, no judgment.
Got a confession or a question for the show? Send it in, we might read it out (anonymously, always).
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 28 Jul 2026 - 47min - 20 - How To Stop Faking It and Start Being Honest In Bed
Confession time: we've both faked it. 🙋♀️🙋♀️
This week Jay-Jay and Mel get real about faking it, and we're not just talking about orgasms. We're talking about every quiet way we abandon ourselves in bed: nodding along, holding our breath, pretending we're way more flexible than we actually are.
Mel breaks down why faking it is actually a smart nervous-system survival strategy, not a character flaw, and how it quietly builds resentment and chore sex over time if left unchecked. We get into the four stress responses: fight, flight, freeze, and the one nobody talks about, fawn, plus real phrases to use instead of faking it, and how to take feedback from a partner without spiralling.
We also talk a little too much about swallowing.
By the end, you'll have real language to use tonight, a pleasure practice to try this week, and hopefully a little less pressure to perform and a little more permission to just be honest.
💌 Subscribe to our Substack for early episodes, our weekly pleasure practice and behind-the-scenes extras. 🎓
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOK https://www.tiktok.com/@howtohaves.pod
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 21 Jul 2026 - 36min - 19 - How To Get Over Your Body and Sex Insecurities
This week Jay-Jay & Mel get vulnerable, and a little unhinged, talking about body confidence and sex insecurities. Jay-Jay finally admits the one insecurity she's never
been able to shake. Mel spills on her breast implants: why she got them at 23, and why she took them out eight years later. They dig into where body shame actually comes from (hint: it's rarely just you), why labiaplasty is booming even though the "problem" is just a normal vulva, and have a full tangent about pubic hair trends.
Mel walks Jay-Jay through a real-time somatic exercise to rewire an old belief, and by the end of it Jay-Jay has a brand new mantra that will absolutely end up on a t-shirt.
Expect body image talk, self-esteem wins, a few belly laughs, and genuinely useful tools for building body confidence and self-love, in and out of the bedroom.
If you've ever turned the lights off, sucked it in, or hidden a part of yourself during sex, this episode is for you.
🎧 New episodes every week. Rate, review and follow, so you never miss one.
Explicit — listener discretion advised.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 14 Jul 2026 - 54min - 18 - How To Navigate Love, Judgment and an Age Gap: Jay-Jay & Minou
She met him on Facebook. He lived on the other side of the world. She didn't tell a soul for two years.
This week Mel flips the script and puts Jay-Jay in the hot seat. We're talking about Jay-Jay's relationship with her partner Minou, the 18-year age gap, meeting through a random Facebook DM, navigating two completely different cultures and religions, and every single opinion the internet has ever had about it.
Jay-Jay tells us how she tested a stranger's "humanness" before believing he was real, why she kept the relationship secret from literally everyone (including her ex-husband), and the moment she finally came clean. We also get into the comment that compared her to a 90-year-old prune, the woman who threatened to "knock her teeth out," and why block-block-block is a completely valid coping mechanism.
Mel and Jay-Jay dig into the bigger question underneath it all, why do unconventional relationships make people so uncomfortable, and how do you protect your peace when strangers (and sometimes friends) decide they've got a say in your love life?
Funny, personal, and honestly a bit of a tearjerker in places. Buckle up.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HTHS for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 07 Jul 2026 - 44min - 17 - How To Get Better at Foreplay
Foreplay. Everyone's heard of it. Not everyone's doing it right.
In this episode, Jay-Jay and Mel break down what foreplay actually is (spoiler: not just a quick neck kiss and a rub before getting to the main event), why rushing it is one of the biggest bedroom mistakes people make, and how slowing down can completely change your sex life.
We also get into the surprisingly non-sexual stuff that counts as foreplay, plus: why your body literally needs time to prepare for penetration (there's a physiological process called tenting and it will change how you think about this forever), the art of attunement, why the quickie you think was spontaneous... wasn't, and how to talk to a partner who treats foreplay like they're late for a flight.
In this episode:
Why foreplay starts way before the bedroomThe psychological side of arousal, and why safety matters more than techniqueWhat is tenting and why your body needs itAttunement: the real skill underneath all the movesHow to talk to a partner who skips straight to the jackhammerSexting as foreplay (Mel is a big fan)The Pleasure Practice: penetration off the table, entirelyHow to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 30 Jun 2026 - 46min - 16 - How To Spice It Up In Long-Term Relationships
Ever caught yourself calling your partner "babe" right before asking them to take the bins out, and that was basically the most romantic thing that happened all week? Yeah. This one's for you.
This week JJ and Mel are talking about how to bring the spice back into long-term relationships, and no, it doesn't start with a sex swing. They unpack why couples slip into "flatmate energy," the sneaky way resentment kills desire faster than tiredness ever could, and why foreplay actually starts at 11am, not 11pm. Mel breaks down brakes vs accelerators, spontaneous vs responsive desire, and why being too comfortable with your partner might be the actual problem. Plus: the spousal arousal radio story, a boat-bed confession gone wrong, and the case for bringing back a little "puppy energy" when your partner walks in the door.
If you and your partner have started to feel more like co-managers of a household than lovers, this episode is your sign to do something about it (and it's way less effort than you think).
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 23 Jun 2026 - 51min - 15 - How To Bring Your Fantasies To Life
Turns out almost everyone has a fantasy they've never told a single soul. This week Jay-Jay and sex & relationship coach Mel Vranjes get into sexual fantasies; what's actually going on underneath them, why just talking about one can be almost as hot as living it out, and how to bring it up with your partner without causing a small relationship earthquake.
Mel shares the research on the most common fantasies (group sex, power play, and being completely ravished all made the list), and we talk through how to find the feeling behind a fantasy so you're not stuck trying to recreate an exact scene from a book.
Also in this episode: Jay-Jay's worst date story ever, the golden showers chat nobody asked for, why pegging makes so many people squirm and shouldn't, and a Pleasure Practice that's basically just permission to daydream a bit more.
Topics: sexual fantasies, fantasy communication, kinks and power play, BDSM basics, intimacy and desire, couples communication, sex education, relationship advice
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes; one nosy, curious host and one expert who actually knows what she's talking about. Every episode tackles the stuff most of us were never taught, minus the awkward classroom diagrams.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets. Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide… Pleasure Delivered.
JOIN OUR COMMUNITY!
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACK https://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAM https://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOK https://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast! https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 16 Jun 2026 - 46min - 14 - How To Initiate Sex
Ever wanted to make the first move and just… froze?
Initiating is one of the most vulnerable things we do, and almost nobody talks about how hard it is.
This week Jay-Jay Feeney and somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get into how to initiate sex without the fear of rejection: why it can feel scarier than the sex itself, how to handle a "no" without spiralling, and the tiny shifts that bring desire back to life in long-term relationships.
Inside this episode:
Why initiating feels so loaded (and why long-term love makes it harder, not easier)The one-word response to "no" that stops the shame spiral in its tracksMismatched desire; are you and your partner even speaking the same language?Ovens vs gas hobs: why "preheating" outside the bedroom changes everythingEmily Nagoski's gateways into desire: play, care and curiosityReal, low-stakes ways to initiate tonight: flirty texts, kissing, music, massagePlus your Pleasure Practice DMs, including the "I was meant to be the submissive one" plot twistWhether you're the one who always makes the first move, the one who's given up trying, or somewhere in between, this one's for you.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 09 Jun 2026 - 37min - 13 - How to Explore Beginner-Friendly BDSM
BDSM. Two seconds after hearing that word, most people picture whips, chains, leather, and some kind of expensive basement situation. (Just me? Okay, just me.)
This week, certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down what BDSM actually is — and spoiler: it's a much wider, far less terrifying spectrum than you think.
We cover:
What BDSM really means (and what it definitely doesn't have to mean)Why so many people are secretly curious about power play, restraint, and dominance, and feel weirdly ashamed about itThe psychology behind dominant people wanting to submit, and vice versaHow to go from "we've vaguely thought about this" to actually trying it, without a cringe disasterThe beginner's menu: easy, low-stakes things to explore firstConsent conversations that don't feel like a workplace health and safety briefingSafewords, aftercare, and the mistakes people make, copying what they've seen onlineAnd this week's Pleasure Practice to try at homeWhether you're deeply curious, mildly intrigued, or just here to find out what all the fuss is about, this one's for you.
Don't start with a whip and a prayer. Start here.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 02 Jun 2026 - 46min - 12 - How To Keep Porn From Replacing Intimacy
Porn. We're going there. Whether you watch it, your partner watches it, or you've never really thought about it, this episode is the honest, shame-free conversation you didn't know you needed.
Jay-Jay and Mel explore why porn is so wildly popular, what your search history might (and might not) say about you, and the real question nobody asks: is your porn use helping, or quietly replacing intimacy in your relationship?
This is sex education, not judgment. We cover:
Why men and women consume porn so differently, and what women are actually looking forThe psychology of eroticism and why taboo fantasies make sensePorn and relationships: when it's fine, when it's not, and what to do when you've just caught your partner watching it (Mel shares her story, and it's a good one)The top-searched categories in 2025 and what that tells us about desireHow porn can actually rewire your body's arousal response, and make it harder to orgasm with a partnerEthical porn: what it means, and where to find it (Erika Lust gets a mention)Audio erotica, smut, and other ways to explore desire beyond visual pornMentioned in this episode: https://erikalust.com/ for ethical porn, and if you want to listen to the best audio erotica, try https://www.tryquinn.com/ or https://www.dipseastories.com/
Next week: BDSM.
Subscribe so you don't miss a thing.
And if this episode resonated, leave us a review. It genuinely helps.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced at PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 26 May 2026 - 44min - 11 - How To Actually Get Your Needs Met In Bed (Without Killing The Mood)
Asking for what you want in bed might be the scariest thing you never do. Scarier than being naked. Scarier than asking for a pay rise. And for a lot of us, we'd rather go along with it, fake it, or hope they read our minds.
In this episode, sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes and broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney get into the real reason we go quiet in the bedroom, and what to do about it.
You'll learn:
Why communication in bed is actually a courage problem, not a confidence problemThe worst time (and best time) to bring up a new requestHow to frame what you want so it sounds like a connection, not a complaintWhat to do when your partner shuts downScripts and examples you can actually useWhether you've been together forever or you're still in the honeymoon phase, this episode will help you stop hinting and start asking.
Pleasure Practice: Build some courage. Pull the courage you already use outside the bedroom, and bring it in.
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 19 May 2026 - 45min - 10 - How to Self-Pleasure (and Why it Will Change Your Partnered Sex Life)
Did you know your solo sex life is literally the foundation of your partnered sex life?
In this episode, Jay-Jay finally figures out why this topic makes her want to crawl under the duvet and never come out, and it's more relatable than you'd think.
Certified somatic sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes breaks down everything women were never taught about self-pleasure: where the shame actually comes from, why we were never given this education, and how exploring your own body is one of the most powerful things you can do for your sex life, with or without a partner.
We cover:
Why female self-pleasure has been stigmatised for centuries (and male pleasure hasn't)How self-pleasure builds body literacy and improves partnered sexWhy rushing is the biggest mistake most people makeHow to diversify your pleasure and avoid being wired to only one pathwayWhether you can get "addicted" to your vibrator (yes, really)Masturbating in front of your partner - hot or not?How to handle mismatched libidos without guilt or obligation sexJay-Jay has an unexpected breakthrough on camera that stopped us bothPlus Mel's pleasure practice for the week, and Jay-Jay's very honest response to it.
Next episode: How to Get Your Needs Met in Bed (Without Turning It Into a Performance Review).
How to Have Sex is a shame-free sex education podcast hosted by broadcaster Jay-Jay Feeney and certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes. Every episode is designed to educate, inform, and start the conversations that most of us were never taught to have.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 12 May 2026 - 52min - 9 - How to Butt Play (Without Making it Weird or Scary)
Anal play. Butt stuff. The backdoor. Whatever you call it, more people are curious than will ever admit it. So this week, Jay-Jay and Mel are going there. Literally.
Certified sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes joins a very nervous, very clenching Jay-Jay Feeney to unpack everything about anal and butt play, for all bodies and all genders. From the biology, to the beginner steps, to the stuff nobody talks about.
In this episode:
Why butt play is so taboo (and why that's changing)The male G-spot (yes, the prostate) and why most men have no idea what they're missingHow women can experience orgasms from anal stimulationThe difference between external and penetrative play (you do NOT have to go all in to enjoy it)Mel's three beginner techniques: The Doorbell, The Credit Card, and CirclesHow to prepare properly, and why porn has got it dangerously wrongThe importance of lube, going slow, and communicationWhat NOT to do (don't cross-contaminate, don't use spit, and absolutely never surprise someone mid-sex)How to bring it up with a partner without making it weirdRecovering from a bad experienceThis week's Pleasure Practice (JJ's reaction is priceless)Curious but nervous? That's exactly who this episode is for.
This episode is sponsored by Wild Secrets. NZ's premium pleasure destination. Use code HAVESEX for 20% off. Pleasure delivered. wildsecrets.co.nz
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.
Pick up the latest issue to read it.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 05 May 2026 - 40min - 8 - How to Have Earth Shattering Orgasms
Earth-shattering. It sounds ambitious, but Mel reckons it's not only possible, it's absolutely learnable. And it has nothing to do with performing, faking it, or wondering if you're taking too long.
This week Jay-Jay and Mel go deep on orgasms; what they actually are, why they feel different depending on where they happen in your body, and why so many of us have been getting in our own way this whole time.
In this episode:
The difference between a clitoral, G-spot, A-spot, cervical and full-body orgasmWhy only 18-22% of women can orgasm from penetration alone, and what that means for everyoneWhy your body shuts down at the worst possible moment (and how to stop it)The oven vs gas hob arousal gap between men and womenHow to get out of your head and back into your bodyWhy slowing down is genuinely the fastest route to a bigger orgasmThe somatic tools Mel uses with her clients: breath, movement, placement of awarenessWhy crying after sex is a thing (and it's not weird)How to create new orgasmic pathways in your body, including cervical orgasmsMel's tip: check out https://www.beautifulcervix.com/see-your-own-beautiful-cervix/ if you want to actually see your own cervix (yes, really)This week's Pleasure Practice: Forget about the orgasm. Just touch your body for pleasure. In the shower, on the couch, wherever. Use breath, awareness and a little movement to build sensation. The orgasms will follow.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.
Pick up the latest issue to read it.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 28 Apr 2026 - 49min - 7 - How to Enhance Your Sex Life with Erotic Activities
This might be our most hilarious episode yet.
In this episode of How To Have Sex, Jay-Jay Feeney and sex & relationship coach Melissa Vranjes set out to talk about erotic activities, erotic energy, and how to bring more play, anticipation and aliveness into your sex life… and somewhere along the way, things descend into absolute chaos. There are tears. There is wheezing. There is a completely unhinged detour into animal play that nearly takes both hosts out.
But underneath the laughter, there’s actually a really juicy conversation here. Mel explains that the erotic isn’t just about sex toys, lingerie, or trying to become some mysterious version of yourself. It’s about vitality, curiosity, self-expression, play, and creating moments that feel alive, exciting and connected.
Together, JJ and Mel unpack how to break out of routine, why anticipation matters so much, and how to start exploring erotic activities in ways that feel fun rather than intimidating. This episode is full of ideas you can actually try, whether you’re a total beginner or ready to step a little further outside the box.
In this episode:
what the erotic actually meanswhy routine can flatten desirehow to bring more play and curiosity into your sex lifebeginner-friendly erotic activitiesmore adventurous ideas for couples who want to mix things upwhy sex does not have to be perfect or serious to be hotand why laughing together might be one of the sexiest things of allYou’ll hear ideas like:
showering together with low lightspleasure mapping each other’s bodiessensory play with touch, temperature and massage oilreading erotica to each otherfeeding each other slowly and teasinglyerotic massageundressing each other with intentionand yes… the now-infamous animal play conversation that sends everyone off the rails.Pleasure Practice: choose an inside-the-box or outside-the-box erotic activity and give it a go.
Next episode: How to Have Earth-Shattering Orgasms.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.
Pick up the latest issue to read it.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 21 Apr 2026 - 37min - 6 - How to Navigate Low Libido in Pregnancy and Sex Postpartum (Mel’s Story)
Pregnancy can change everything.. your body, your hormones, your relationship to pleasure, and the way you feel about s*x.
In this deeply personal episode of How To Have S*x, Mel opens up about her first pregnancy, when she lost her libido at 15 weeks, stopped wanting s*x, and even lost the ability to have the internal org*sms she once loved.
Jay-Jay and Mel talk honestly about what happens when s*x changes during pregnancy, how scary it can feel when desire disappears, and the panic that can come with wondering whether your s*xuality will ever come back. Mel shares how different her second pregnancy has been, why her first experience felt so confronting, and what helped her and her partner stay intimately connected even when penetrative s*x was off the table for months.
This episode is for anyone who has ever felt confused, shut down, touched out, disconnected from their body, or scared that a low libido season means something is wrong. It’s also a powerful listen for partners who want to understand how to stay close, supportive, and connected without adding pressure.
In this episode, we cover:
what low libido in pregnancy can actually feel like the difference between “I don’t want s*x” and “I don’t feel s*xual at all” how pregnancy affected Mel’s org*sms and body confidence how to talk about the elephant in the room with your partner how to stay intimately connected without penetrative s*x returning to s*x postpartum slowly, gently, and without pressure why self-touch can help before having penetrative s*x again pelvic floor physio, healing, and what’s actually normal after birth why you are allowed to be in a season why different doesn’t mean brokenMel also shares one of the most reassuring messages of the episode: you do not need to “bounce back.” Your body has changed, your life has changed, and your s*xuality may change too, but that does not mean it is gone forever.
Next episode: how to bring the erotic back into your s*x life.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at www.wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.
Pick up the latest issue to read it.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 14 Apr 2026 - 42min - 5 - How to Dirty Talk (Without Dying of Embarrassment)
Dirty talk makes Jay-Jay want to crawl under the bed and disappear… so naturally, that’s exactly what this episode is about.
In this episode of How To Have Sex, Jay-Jay Feeney and sex & relationship coach Melissa Vranjes tackle one of the most cringe-inducing parts of intimacy: saying sexy things out loud without dissolving into laughter. If the thought of dirty talk makes you want to do your tax return instead, this episode is definitely for you.
Melissa breaks down why dirty talk doesn’t actually have to be “dirty” at all. It can be playful, flirty, intimate, teasing, affirming, and deeply connecting — whether you’re in the same room or doing long distance. The episode covers how to start small, why texting can be the perfect gateway, how to move away from performative porn-style language, and how to find words that actually feel natural for you.
Jay-Jay, meanwhile, does what Jay-Jay does best: says exactly what everyone else is thinking. Is it awkward? Yes. Will you laugh? Probably. Will you also come away with genuinely useful tips for talking sexy without feeling ridiculous? Also yes.
In this episode, we cover:
what dirty talk really iswhy so many people find it harder than sex itselfwhy sexy texting can be the easiest place to startthe difference between porn talk and real-life turn-onhow anticipation can be hotter than explicit languagehow to talk in a way that reflects what you actually desirehow to laugh through the awkwardness instead of shutting downwhy aftercare and compliments can be part of erotic talk tooPlus, Melissa gives listeners a Pleasure Practice challenge for the week… and puts Jay-Jay on the spot with a live reading exercise that is every bit as awkward and hilarious as you’d hope.
Mel mentions here Dirty Talk Cheat Sheet! You can download a copy of thathere
Next episode: Melissa opens up about pregnancy, libido loss, postpartum sex, and what happens when your body feels completely different to the one you used to know.
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
SUBSCRIBE TO OUR SUBSTACKhttps://hthspodcast.substack.com/
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz/
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.
Pick up the latest issue to read it.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 07 Apr 2026 - 40min - 4 - How to Give World-Class Head
WATCH THE UNCENSORED VIDEO HERE: https://hthspodcast.substack.com/p/uncensored-video-how-to-give-world
Talking about oral sex makes Jay-Jay wildly uncomfortable… which is exactly why this episode had to happen.
In this lesson of How To Have Sex, Jay-Jay Feeney and sex & relationship coach Melissa Vranjes get very practical about what makes oral sex actually feel good for everyone. This is not about porn moves, performance, or trying to “get it right.” It’s about confidence, communication, anatomy, connection, and learning how to give pleasure in a way that feels good for you too.
Melissa breaks down what “world-class head” really means, why so many people feel pressure around oral sex, and the biggest lies porn has taught us about blowjobs and going down on women. The episode covers hand techniques, oral techniques, sore jaw and lockjaw hacks, how to ask for what you want without dying inside, and why slowing down is often the fastest path to better sex.
You’ll also hear:
why oral sex feels so vulnerablehow to stop focusing on performanceblowjob tips and hand techniquesoral sex tips for pleasuring a vulvawhy anatomy creates confidencehow to communicate during sex without killing the moodthe importance of rhythm, teasing and anticipationwhy pleasure should be about connection, not pressureAnd of course, Melissa gives Jay-Jay, and you, a new Pleasure Practice for the week: how to give head in a way that feels good for you as well.
Next episode: How to Dirty Talk (Without Dying of Embarrassment).
This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.
Shop online at wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…
Pleasure Delivered.
How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz/
SUBSTACK: https://hthspodcast.substack.com
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
TIKTOKhttps://www.tiktok.com/@hths_podcast
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.
Pick up the latest issue to read it.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 31 Mar 2026 - 44min - 3 - Foreplay (Get into Bed with Jay-Jay & Mel)
Welcome to How To Have Sex ... the podcast giving everyday New Zealanders the practical tools to have better, more confident, more satisfying sex lives.
Before we get into the good stuff, we're starting where all great sex starts: foreplay. This episode is your introduction to hosts Jay-Jay Feeney - veteran NZ broadcaster, podcaster, and self-confessed awkward sex-talker, and Melissa Vranjes, certified holistic sex and relationship coach, somatic therapist, and founder of Sex School.
We get into bed (literally), share how this podcast came to be, and start pulling back the covers on everything from the orgasm gap and sexual confidence, to why most of us learned about sex from porn, and why that's a problem.
No shame. No judgment. Just two women in bed having the conversations everyone's secretly Googling.
For adults 18+. Headphones recommended.
🎙️ Follow, subscribe, and leave us a review. It helps more people find us!
This podcast was produced at PodLab Studios, Auckland https://www.podlab.co.nz/
Bedding by Dehei https://dehei.co/
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
TIKTOKhttps://www.tiktok.com/@how.to.have.sex.p
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.
Pick up the latest issue to read it.
We launched our podcast on 25 March 2026 and had a party to celebrate.
We would like to thank our incredible Day One supporters who kindly donated toward our party, and goodie bags.
Mad Dog Backdrops https://maddogbackdrops.co.nz/
Carmen Bird Photography https://www.carmenbirdphotography.co.nz/
Oh Cleoh Condoms https://www.ohcleoh.com/
Rumer Lube https://byrumer.co.nz/
Girls Get Off https://girlsgetoff.com/
Moodi Hormone Gummies https://www.moodiblends.com/
Cursive Craft https://cursivecraft.co.nz/
Eve Wellness https://evewellness.com/
XO Gifts https://xogifts.co.nz/
Framingham Wines https://framingham.co.nz/
Zeffer Cider & Alcoholic drinks https://zeffer.co.nz/
Woman’s Day Magazine https://www.nowtolove.co.nz/
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 24 Mar 2026 - 42min - 2 - How to Have the Best Sex of Your Life
What actually separates good sex from great sex? Spoiler: it's not the positions, the toys, or the techniques.
In this episode, sex and relationship coach Melissa Vranjes and Jay-Jay Feeney get into the real foundations of hot sex, and it turns out most of us have been thinking about it completely wrong. Mel introduces her erotic mind mapping method, breaks down the three types of desire (and why most women experience desire very differently to men), and explains why safety, connection, and communication are the actual ingredients for the best sex of your life.
Plus: JJ gets her first Pleasure Practice assignment live on air, and it gets surprisingly vulnerable.
This is sex education for real humans in real relationships. No pressure. No porn scripts. Just honest conversation.
For adults 18+. Headphones recommended.
🎙️ New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one!
This podcast was produced at PodLab Studios, Auckland https://www.podlab.co.nz/
Bedding by Dehei https://dehei.co/
Mel's Sex Menu: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ELEGkI8NyWl2EAA9tYjlZ2oHs-q8ryns/view
Support the podcast!https://buymeacoffee.com/howtohavesex
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
TIKTOKhttps://www.tiktok.com/@how.to.have.sex.p
YOUTUBE https://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes –Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram: @melissavranjes
Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body?Join Sex School here:https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school
Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.
Pick up the latest issue to read it.
We launched our podcast on 25 March 2026 and had a party to celebrate.
We would like to thank our incredible Day One supporters who kindly donated toward our party, and goodie bags.
Mad Dog Backdrops https://maddogbackdrops.co.nz/
Carmen Bird Photography https://www.carmenbirdphotography.co.nz/
Oh Cleoh Condoms https://www.ohcleoh.com/
Rumer Lube https://byrumer.co.nz/
Girls Get Off https://girlsgetoff.com/
Moodi Hormone Gummies https://www.moodiblends.com/
Cursive Craft https://cursivecraft.co.nz/
Eve Wellness https://evewellness.com/
XO Gifts https://xogifts.co.nz/
Framingham Wines https://framingham.co.nz/
Zeffer Cider & Alcoholic drinks https://zeffer.co.nz/
Woman’s Day Magazine https://www.nowtolove.co.nz/
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Tue, 24 Mar 2026 - 51min - 1 - WE ARE COMING!
One’s a sex coach. The other one’s awkward.
Both are getting into bed to talk about it.
How to Have Sex is hosted by Jay-Jay Feeney — one of New Zealand’s most recognisable voices — and Melissa Vranjes, a holistic sex & relationship coach and somatic therapist.
Jay-Jay has the questions you’re too shy to ask.
Melissa has the answers (and the experience).
From world-class head to low libido, orgasms to pregnancy sex, this podcast breaks down shame, stigma, and bedroom confusion — with humour, honesty, and zero judgement.
If you’ve ever thought:
“Am I normal?”
“Why don’t I feel horny?”
“How do I ask for what I want?”
You’re in the right bed.
Launching 25 March.
____________________________________________________
INSTAGRAMhttps://www.instagram.com/howtohavesexpodcast
TIKTOKhttps://www.tiktok.com/@how.to.have.sex.p
YOUTUBEhttps://www.youtube.com/@Howtohavesexpodcast
FACEBOOKhttps://www.facebook.com/HowToHaveSexPodcast
EMAIL howtohavesexpodcastnz@gmail.com
HOSTS:
Jay-Jay Feeney
Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney
Melissa Vranjes
www.melissavranjes.com
Instagram/TikTok: @melissavranjes
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melissa.vranjes.5
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Fri, 27 Feb 2026 - 1min
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