Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe

“There is nothing like a wedding to addle people’s minds.”

Today on the pod we have two hilarious stories about marriage and proposal. In the first, Dave loses his wedding ring and fears it may have been swallowed by a duck! In the second, Dave’s mom Margaret surprises everyone by agreeing to marry again. And Jess shares her own experience of wedding rings and proposal.

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“Eugene’s fig tree is the best-known tree in the neighbourhood.”

We’re all about gardening on the podcast this week, with two Dave and Morley stories about the act of faith and hope that goes into creating a garden. 

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“It was 4:30 in the morning and Dave was having a nightmare about something that smelled bad.”

On today’s episode we have a fragrant story from way back. And Jess chats in studio with Stuart’s old friends David and Elizabeth, who share how Morley got her name—and surprise Jess with some entertaining backstories of their own! 

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“It is the best maple syrup I have ever had, said Sam.”

We’re celebrating one of the wonders of spring on the pod this week: Stuart waxes lyrical about his favourite tipple, maple syrup, then tells a story about the time Dave tried to make his own. 

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“The kids were always up to something in the Narrows.”

This week’s episode is all about kids and what we can learn from them. The first story relates an adventure from when Dave was a boy. In the second, Dave’s adventures continue, with a little help from his son Sam.

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“By the end of the first trimester, Dave had put on 12lbs.”

A surprising theme links our two stories this week. In the first, Dave has a hellish trip to the grocery store—and Jess has a backstory about what shopping with Stuart was really like. Our second story takes us back to the early days of Dave and Morley’s relationship, when Morley is pregnant with their first child.

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"He was about to climb in—just for a second, just to see…"

Poor Dave gets himself into some tight situations in both this week’s stories. And Jess explores the snapshots of detail that enrich them.

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“'They tried to stop us,' says the old man. 'But we kept playing.'”

More about the joy of winter sports on this week’s pod. Including Stuart’s ode to skating from Jasper, Alberta. And a beautiful Big Narrows story about a memorable game of hockey from long ago.

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“It was the greatest skate of her life.”

Love is in the air today on the pod, with a Dave and Morley origin story—the one about how they first met. For our second story, we’re bringing back the Vinyl Cafe Story Exchange, with one of our favourite listener love stories.

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“The secret to planting more trees, is to plant more trees.”

We have two hilarious Vinyl Cafe stories for you on today’s pod. Stories of things that happen at work. In the first, Kenny helps Dave out with something at the store. In our second story, Steph experiences a summer job like no other. And Jess digs into the research process behind the stories.

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"Galway began flushing the toilet again in the autumn…"

This week, two Dave and Morley stories that, in hindsight, seem strangely prescient. In the first, a fan favourite, Dave decides to teach Galway the cat a new skill. The second is a story that we haven’t felt comfortable playing in a long time. Jess explains why. 

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"It began simply enough. It began with a phone call."

On today’s episode, two stories about technical difficulties. In our first story, Dave attempts an inventive solution to an ill-considered phone message left for the Turlingtons. In our second, an electric razor causes him problems at the airport. And Jess shares some stories about Stuart’s habits with phones …and airports.

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I resolve to organize upstairs.

Welcome back for Season 3 of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe! We’re embracing the spirit of the New Year with a show all about resolutions and lists and getting things done. We start with an essay about Stuart’s fraught relationship with his to do list. And Jess has a backstory about her own relationship to lists and resolutions, and how that informed today’s Dave and Morley story. 

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A New Year = A New Season of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe! So join us next week for Episode 1. Hilarious stories by Stuart McLean. Entertaining backstories and more by host Jess Milton. Here's a sneak peek...

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“Family and friends, they sure mess up our lives…”

For our final episode of this season, two classic Vinyl Cafe Christmas stories by Stuart McLean. Dave tries to make himself useful at Mary Turlington’s festive dinner party, with disastrous consequences. In our second story, the family experiences a very different kind of Christmas, special in its own way.

And Jess realizes a surprising theme that links these two fan favourites…something that she hopes will help her unlock the spirit of the season.

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“Come and get me, copper!”

We’ve got to know Dave and Morley’s neighbours well over the years. This week, two stories about the neighbourhood at Christmas. Holiday gift-giving gets a bit out of hand in our first story, while a punchbowl mix-up livens up the party (for some) in our second. 

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“I was thinking it would be fun if we made presents for each other this year”

What’s the best gift you have ever received? On today’s podcast, Jess shares the surprising truth about her favourite gift, ever. Accompanied by two hilarious Dave and Morley stories about Christmas gifts and gift-giving. 

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“Did you take the turkey out of the freezer?”

Today is the day Dave Cooks the Turkey! Jess tells us why it gives her such pleasure to say those words on the pod today and plays the beloved turkey story that has become a Christmas tradition for so many. Also on today’s episode more of Dave’s festive shenanigans – in another hilarious story from the very first Vinyl Cafe concert.

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“Jim never had any intention of having any pets at all”

To be fair to the other household critters (and no, we’re not talking about headlice again!), last week was dogs, so today we have a story about cats. One of our favourite characters, Jim Scoffield, finds a new friend while caring for his cat Molly. And Jess gets into some of the practical and technical aspects of being out on the road with the Vinyl Cafe, recording 60-80 concerts a year. 

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“You know how loud he snores? Ninety decibels. That’s the equivalent of sleeping beside a pneumatic drill.”

This week, two stories about dogs. Oh how we love them! Even if, like Stanley, they snore and have – um – “digestive problems”, or if, like Arthur, they add a whole new level of challenge to Dave and Morley’s important dinner party. Jess shares a backstory about the very early days of the show and how Stuart recorded some of his first stories.

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“There’s something about the ghosts who live in the house where you live. Some kind of an inexpressible pull between the people who have lived and loved under the same roof as you have.”

Today, a Dave and Morley story that is seldom heard: a story about place, about history, and about remembering and sharing those histories with the next generation. Also, we play one of our (and your) favourite Story Exchanges: about the bagpiper at Vimy Ridge.

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“Our daughter is living with a man who takes pictures of roadkill!”

We’re dealing with difficult and weighty matters on this week’s episode. Yes, this week is all about art and beauty. Dave is slightly perturbed and not a little afraid to receive an invite to an art exhibit about roadkill. The artist is his daughter’s boyfriend, Tommy. 

And Jess shares a backstory about Stuart’s favourite handy hint for handling difficult conversations; and how her attempt to follow that advice nearly ended badly.

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“Let me state the case for Hallowe’en”

The nights are getting longer, the air is getting colder, so this week on the pod, two stories about the season and about finding light in the darkness. In Halloween, Steph learns to trust her instincts (while Dave learns that a painted watermelon will never be a satisfactory replacement for a pumpkin); and in Fireworks, Sam and Dave are mesmerized by a truck load of contraband.

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“He was eye level with the falls…”

This week on the show, something different. We’re playing one of Stuart McLean’s most requested stories and you might be surprised to hear it is not a Dave and Morley story. This week: the amazing and moving story of Roger Woodward, the boy who went over Niagara Falls. We play new music (that’s right – music!) by Danny Michel that is inspired by this Niagara story and share Jess and Danny’s conversation about music, waterfalls, life on tour with the Vinyl Cafe (and lots more in between!) 

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“That afternoon, in his first true act of citizenship, Dave wore five lacy bras across the border.” 

On today’s episode, Stuart tells two hilarious Vinyl Cafe stories about Dave’s encounters with deception. One of the stories ‘Shirts’, is an old one you may not have heard in a long time – but it is worth the wait! Dave’s favourite shirt goes missing from their washing line and is later discovered being worn by his good friend Jim Scoffield. As always, Dave has an interesting response to the dilemma. Even more interesting is the surprising backstory about that tale. 

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“When Stuart stepped off his bus and waved goodbye, he thought to himself: 'This guy deserves an award.'”

Back by popular demand: it’s the Arthur Awards! You asked, we listened; so today on the pod, we’re delighted to share two of our favourite Arthur Award interviews of all time. Plus we’re reopening the polls for next year’s Arthurs, so start thinking of who you’d like to nominate…

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“Dave thought, 'It will never get any better than this. Some people have God, and some people have money, and some people don’t have anything at all. I have this. I have the beat and the back beat.'”

This week, a story that captures the joy of live music and performance. Jess reminisces about two amazing experiences on tour with Stuart and the Vinyl Cafe: one at Stuart’s final concert performance, the other at Hillside Music Festival. The story The Lost Chords was recorded that day at Hillside Festival.

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“He had, intentionally, set his bar low. Really low. And now someone was telling him he wasn’t even big enough to be small.”

Today’s episode turns out to be a bit of an ode to record stores. Jess talks about her experience working at the record store Sam the Record Man and in our story, World’s Smallest Record Store, Dave’s young employee teaches him the beauty of what he has created at his store The Vinyl Cafe. 

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“Just one day, she wanted one of them to come home and say ‘Gee, lunch was good.’”

On today’s episode, two stories about back to school: first a hilarious (and occasionally gross) account of a school lunch bag; then, in Best Things, a story from when Stephanie starts university and meets her boyfriend Tommy for the first time. And longtime Vinyl Cafe producer Jess Milton notices a theme that ran through so many of the Vinyl Cafe stories.

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"The best time to share bad news is almost always never.”

Welcome back to Season Two of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe! We’re thrilled to be back and ready to kick off the new season with two Stuart McLean stories about Dave’s neighbourhood nemesis: the indefatigable Mary Turlington. This week Stuart tells two barn burners about Mary. First up, hypochondriacal Dave has to step up when he learns that Mary has head lice. In the second story, Dave’s neighbours decide to get a defibrillator for the entire neighbourhood to share. They decide that Dave & Morley’s garage is the perfect place to store it… 

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Charge your AirPods. Get your dog ready for her walk.  Because we’re back next week with Season 02 of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe. Join us for a new season of hilarious Vinyl Cafe stories and back stories. Here's a sneak peek...

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If you’ve listened to the podcast you’ve heard me talk about Stuart’s Long Suffering Story Editor, Meg Masters. I welcomed Meg into the Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe podcast studio for a chat recently and asked her the questions on all our minds: Why did Stuart call you Long Suffering? And just how badly did you suffer?

So, on today’s bonus episode: a no-holds-barred, exclusive interview with the Vinyl Cafe’s Long Suffering Story Editor, Meg Masters.

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In today’s bonus episode, two Postcards from Canada.

When people think about the Vinyl Cafe, they often think about the concerts we did across Canada, in big towns and small. Stuart opened many of those concerts with an essay about the place and over the years it has added up to quite a collection. Here are two of our favourite ‘postcards’: one from Nelson, British Columbia and the other from the glorious Danceland, in Manitou Beach, Saskatchewan. 

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Something special for you for our first bonus episode. From one of my absolute favourite Vinyl Cafe radio shows, from 2011, this is Stuart and I in studio talking about bloopers! We laughed so hard recording this show.

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"This waterslide was the waterslide to end all waterslides”

We are taking a break over the summer, so in honour of our final episode of Season 1 we’ve got two Vinyl Cafe stories for you about summer. If you listen carefully you’ll hear something unusual in the first, A Letter from Camp, when Stuart inserts a personal story from his own days at his beloved summer camp. And of course, we can’t talk about summer without including the hilarious fan favourite: The Waterslide. All this and more, including a special memory from Jess of what it was like sitting backstage, stage left, and hearing Waterslide performed for the very first time.

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“The Pensionne du Quebec was lit up like a party ship”

Sam is apprehensive about Dave signing up to escort the school field trip to the art gallery. You’ll understand why. On this week’s episode, laugh along with audiences from across Canada with two stories about Sam’s school trips: Field Trip is one from the early days, while in A Trip to Quebec, Sam’s Grade 8 heart is won over by a chance meeting in Quebec City. Jess shares some school trip back stories that didn’t make it into the final story and tells of a special trip to France when she was just 11 years old. 

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"Coming into Dave and Morley’s house is, quite frankly, a bit of a feat. You have to really want to get in.”

In time for Mother’s Day, this week’s episode is all about Morley – the beating heart of the family and the calm to Dave’s chaos. In The House Next Door, Morley fantasizes about a life very different from her own; and in The Pot, meditates on her role as both a mother and a daughter. And Jess talks about how becoming a mother herself has changed her perspective on so many of the Vinyl Cafe stories. 

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“What are flies attracted to?”

We’re talking hypochondria on the podcast this week with two stories revealing Dave’s undeniably hypochondriacal tendencies. Jess lets us into the secret of how Stuart was able to portray this trait of Dave’s so authentically. We start with an old favourite: The Fly. Then in our second story, Dave goes to visit a friend in the hospital. Result: Code Yellow!

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“Dave chose Happy Hour: Three honey-mint-refresh-colonic cocktails.”

The Yoga Retreat: a place of well-being, calm and reflection. Usually. But not always; or not for Dave and Stephanie, at least. This week, Stuart McLean tells two hilarious stories about Dave’s good intentions gone awry. And Jess shares some road stories, including a memorable attempt to get the entire Vinyl Cafe crew up to the remote but spectacular Powell River, British Columbia. 

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“I found my father’s old chemistry set…”

This week’s episode is about good friends and friendship: two stories about Sam and his best friend Murphy. In the early days of their friendship they get their hands on a vintage chemistry set, with explosive results. And on their first trip to Cape Breton the friends find adventure in the form of an abandoned car on Macaulay’s Mountain.

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“It’s time for Stephanie to see more of the world.” 

Stuart McLean talks about connection – to place, to each other and to history – with the stories London and Springhill (aka The Laundry Chute). And Vinyl Cafe producer Jess Milton describes a remarkable moment from the reading of that Springhill story at the Savoy Theatre in Glace Bay and their own special connection that began that day.

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“Surely Mary wouldn’t miss one of those little buttercream shrubs…”

Today’s Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe is all about birthdays. Jess shares some behind the scenes stories of ways she and Stuart celebrated birthdays on the road; and we have two hilarious Dave and Morley stories about birthdays that have gone awry. In The Birthday Cake, Dave is left in charge of delivering Mary Turlington’s carefully decorated cake to a party; while in Morley’s 40th Birthday Bash, Dave throws Morley a party. Unfortunately the caterer he has hired to put the event together sets up the party at the wrong house.

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"Imagine. A million dollars. What would you do with a million dollars?”

A couple of favourite Vinyl Cafe stories this week. Stories about faith. When Tommy’s grandpa dies the conversation turns to his unscratched lottery ticket and the faith he had in its possibilities. That was one of Stuart’s favourites. And Jess shares a personal story about the inspiration behind the story Morley’s Hairdresser.

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“We stumble upon the great loves of our lives in the oddest ways”

On this week’s episode of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe, two funny stories about Dave’s mother, Margaret and the new beginnings, loves and friendships she finds in later life. In Opera, she takes a long-awaited trip to New York City. In Spring in the Narrows, Dave heads back to his hometown of Big Narrows, Nova Scotia and finds Margaret has a new spring in her step.

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“He wanted to be alone so he could try the beef-flavoured toothpaste”

Jess shares a special memory from a concert at the Place des Arts in Montreal – a memory about Stuart and his mom. And we have two Dave and Morley stories about hobbies: in an old favourite – Morley’s Bookclub – Morley finds her new hobby is not as relaxing as anticipated and in Dogwalker, Dave seems to have bitten off more than he can chew.

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"Thank God, he thought, help has arrived.”

Dave tries to be helpful by offering to take Mary Turlington’s car to the car wash — but things don’t go exactly as planned. No stranger to car wash shenanigans herself, Jess fesses up about the inspiration for that story idea. In the second story, Dave plays an unanticipated starring role in Murphy’s Bar Mitzvah.

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“Is Your Dog Your Boss?”

Who doesn’t love a quiz? On this week’s episode of Backstage at the Vinyl Cafe, Jess introduces two favourite Stuart McLean stories from way back. In Arthur the Dog, Dave tries to assert his superiority, man over beast. Guess how well that goes? And in Gifted, Sam takes a quiz that he thinks may transform his life.

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“It has been many long years since he sunk his teeth into anything.”

It’s gnashers all the way on the Vinyl Cafe this week! Freezing optional. Things go awry when Dave’s neighbour Eugene struggles with his false teeth and a cob of corn; and we discover Dave has dentist issues after he bites into a hard chocolate and cracks a tooth at Mary Turlington’s dinner party.

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“The fragrance of dead crayfish. Mmm-mm.”

Two stories about Dave’s buddies. Bert Turlington gets a dog – but not exactly the kind he was hoping for; and Carl, Kenny, Bert and Dave enter a fishing contest where things get seriously out of hand, with hilarious consequences. Also this week, Vinyl Cafe producer Jess Milton recalls a particularly memorable winter visit to Minnedosa, Manitoba and shares a tale of some less-than-glamorous accommodation that she and Stuart enjoyed there.

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“Big Bucks Polka. Bring your records Monday morning to Dave’s Polka Palace (formerly the Vinyl Cafe)”

Welcome to the neighbourhood! Jess introduces two laugh-out-loud funny Dave and Morley stories about shops near Dave’s Vinyl Cafe record store: Woodsworth’s Books and Wong’s Scottish Meat Pies. We meet the eccentric book lover Dorothy Woodsworth; and learn how the Wongs subtly dealt with a difficult, racist customer.

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“Bonjour,” he said. “Je m’appelle Dave.”

Yup, sometimes things go wrong. It happens to the best of us. Especially on the Vinyl Cafe, as you’ll hear in Stuart McLean’s Dave and Morley stories Dog Pills and Petit Lac Noir. Also on this week’s episode, Jess shares a surprising and funny backstory about the inspiration behind Dave’s mistake in Dog Pills.

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“She was a woodland bird, in the middle of the city, way off course, and she had landed at his feeder.”

Stuart McLean tells two Dave and Morley stories that explore the idea of home in its various forms: in Burd, a tiny feathered friend gets blown off course and finds its way to Dave and Morley’s garden where it decides to stop a while. And in Tree of Heaven a seedling takes root – in Dave’s car… and in his heart. Also this week, Jess tells a hilarious story about the trip she and Stuart took to Point Pelee to learn about birders and birding.

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"He looked like a kid on a roller coaster. But not one of the happy ones.” 

Vinyl Cafe producer Jess Milton lets us into some secrets about life on the road with Stuart McLean and we’ll hear Stuart read two hilarious Dave and Morley stories about fitness gone horribly wrong: Tour de Dave – aka Dave on the Bike – and Attack of the Treadmill.

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The Vinyl Cafe podcast is back! For the first time ever we’ll share the hilarious backstories from the popular show. Long-time Vinyl Cafe producer Jess Milton tells all, sharing memories and stories from 15 years touring, travelling, laughing, and recording with her close friend, Canada’s favourite storyteller, Stuart McLean. Plus, each week, a selection of her favourite Dave & Morley stories.

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