Ambridge on the Couch - this week on The Archers

In which Lucy and Jeff discuss the root of the tree problem, Alan’s tantrums and a career switcheroo #TheArchers

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Jeff and Lucy applaud a fantastic week in Ambridge, and wonder when Harassment Burns is going to realise he’s just not very good at being a police officer. Everybody loves Chelsea, and Jeff has his heart melted by Clarrie and Eddie. #TheArchers

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Jeff gets the board rubber thrown at him, Lucy doesn’t understand how people are being invited to the Wedding of the Century, and we wonder: what is Ruth’s problem with friends? #TheArchers

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We discuss where Alan went wrong and what happened after the cocktails, and Brad has an eventful driving lesson. Okay babe? #TheArchers

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This week, Lucy and Jeff debate Harrassment’s motives, Brian’s entitlement and daft baby names. #TheArchers

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Listeners' theories on Alan's financial dealings with Carol abound, we find Amber's take on childbirth surprisingly refreshing and Bishop Cyril's anxious about Alan's pagan leanings.

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In which we say a not terribly fond farewell to Carol, muse on what kind of trouble Alan has now inevitably got himself into and remain in awe of Kenton’s brass neck. #TheArchers

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Jeff and Lucy discuss death, divorce and whether or not ‘Monty’ would be allowed in a Scrabble game. There's jacket potato chat, and Lucy can't tell her balalaikas from her bouzoukis. #TheArchers

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Back with a bumper episode, we marvel at George’s entitlement; Jeff wonders how Meadow Farm keeps going; Lucy cannot understand why Harassment is now sounding as if he’s on Last of the Summer Wine; and we’re both alarmed at Fallon’s guffawing.

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Jeff can’t bear the Harassment/Lily relationship, Lucy thinks Ruth’s immature, and they both love Lynda. Also we receive the best map ever and hear an eye-opening tale about waking up with a Dobermann.

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Jeff gets Bert back-up, Carol gets Lucy’s back up, Ruth goes barking mad and we wonder whether it’s death row for Monty

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We get the giggles at Adam’s back catalogue, wonder at Keira’s timing, and Jeff continues his misguided support of Bert.

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Jeff and Lucy discuss whether Alice should have banished Rex to the bedroom on his first night as a co-habitee, whether Bert’s character will ever settle down, and some truly terrible parenting advice.

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In which we wonder if Harassment and Fallon’s uncoupling will remain cordial, and look forward to “Ambridge Tinder”

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Everybody's suspicious of Amber's Mum, Jeff gets picked up on his Wankel, and Lucy calls time on Fallon and Harassment.

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In which Lucy thinks Jill was too easy to dismiss as a gingham housewife, Jeff foresees the end of the road for Brian, and Febreze hopes to meet a Queen

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Kate is pushed to the brink about a stink.

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Ruth finds herself marshalling egos and Keira breaks her silence.

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We contemplate Annabill; a gory PSA; and Kate’s renaissance. Katenaissance? Rekatessance? [That's enough - Ed]

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No, not Lucy and Jeff, but Adam and Brian. And it’s goodbye Jimmus and the longest drawn out gene test in history.

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Kale eye serum, anyone? More from St Akram and Horrible Helen gets her own way.

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Adam’s at a loss, Carol and Anna are at loggerheads and everyone goes to the Bull.

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We all enjoy both an Aldridge punch-up (sans bottle this time), and Susan has a List of Designated Walks

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Adam plays Succession, Amber plays Happy Families and Carol plays merry hell

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Ruairí turns a corner and Brian goes round the bend.

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Hungary welcomes Adam, as if it hasn’t got enough to deal with; George’s drone has started vibrating; and Natasha’s leather trousers bring in the business.

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The Aldridges close ranks, and is Den as Dirty as he seems?

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We have a new/old rude mechanical, and Alice and Rex hit peak couple: rowing after a dinner party.

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Adam’s name’s come up, Carol’s had a personality transplant, and can we crowdfund therapy for Fletcher?

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A senior love triangle and the irony of Bridge Farm’s mental health discussion

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Miranda’s going to be home alone, Ben decides to fly the nest and Helen is winning friends and influencing people yet again.

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Justin tries to impress and Brian hits peak Aldridge

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George gets it out, Brian wades in and Chris backs off.

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Helen gets cheesy, Ruaridh gets tearful and the Grundys get together.

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Brian plays Cilla Black and Helen plays away from home.

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Zach arrives, Josh departs and Akram doesn’t know a tulip from a turnip

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George becomes Columbo, Brian becomes Brando, and Ruth and David remain wacko.

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In which we celebrate Clarrie, scoff at the world’s most half-hearted proposal, and wonder how long George can keep this up.

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George’s cheered up, Justin’s messed up and Ben’s been shown up

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Brad needs space, Emma needs Valium and Chelsea needs an award

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On this week’s show we wonder if the miscreant wouldn’t fancy bottling Clive too; and the fan theories are narrowing...

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Listeners fear we may be in for months of tenterhooks, others that it’s Markie, so to cheer ourselves up we enjoy an Inspector’s Balls.

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Predictions galore and Febreze is honoured

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We look at the runners and riders for potential deaths in the anniversary episode and wonder why Fallon suddenly turned into the Hulk with no warning

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Hope you all have a fabulous Christmas, and thank you so much for your support, your friendliness, your hilarious emails, your touching reminiscences and your all round good eggedness. We are very lucky to have you.

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We spend a whole week with our heads down the lavatory and wonder if Leonard is going for sainthood and how Lily can be quite so blasé about Australia....

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So Brad and Amber are a thing, why has Joy become hysterical over the tractor run and has the shop finally settled down?

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Is Brad struggling with his inner Machiavelli, and who was Rex thinking of...Alice or Krusty?

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We spend a week in Blackpool and Scotland, welcome Peggy MkII to the clan and praise Brian for getting out of it....

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As if an eight hour minibus ride to Scotland with her extended family wasn't enough, Phoebe now has even more good news to contend with.

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It's more unusual to have the sandwiches after the funeral, not during, but this is Ambridge....Chris and Carly, George and Esme...it's all about to kick off.

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Harriet gets a baby girl named after her, Jeff doesn't, no-one wants Georgie and Lilian's becoming more like Justin every day.

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We ponder the Great Ambridge Otch-Up - who will go where when Home Farm comes back into play, Georgie's new leaf didn't stay turned over for very long and how soon should Josh wait before he pounces on a grieving daughter? 

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This week, we acknowledge Khalil's new grown-up voice, wonder where on earth Esme comes from and wonders why Lilian's' behaving so badly.

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Georgie's out, the rats are in and Brad's in the middle.

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Brian's put out to pasture and Alice is just put out.

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In which Brian gets desperate, and there are near death experiences for Bartleby and Alan

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We wonder how Ambridge has produced so many over-protective parents, cringe at Paul, marvel at a medieval village being built in two days and enjoy our listeners' Martin/Krusty prediction....

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Brian tries to get rid of Kate, David tries to get rid of Stella and Kate tries to get rid of Amber. It's all go on The Archers this week....

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Harriet's back but her wifi isn't, Pat's losing it and we have many, many pessimistic listener predictions. Plus back to school advice from the parents of Ambridge on BBC Radio Borsetshire.

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Cockamamie predictions abound and we wonder why it didn't occur to anyone that cold water swimming might not be Fallon's ideal pastime....

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Lyndybottom upsets Robert and will Tracey and Jazzer regret their kind offer?

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Kate steamrollers Krusty, and could we be looking at Strewth?

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Brian throws his toys, Susan's clambering over hills of beans and Chris has the patience of a saint

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With new improved sound! "Don't panic!" Kenton becomes Corporal Jones, we wonder where Lynda's gratitude is and the risks of the Rosieeeeee relationship for Stella.

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Neil goes full on Bruce Willis, Susan breaks our hearts and Martyn Gibson hasn't dressed for a party since 1979.

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Eddie becomes a consumer champion and poor Tortoise bears the brunt.

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What's Annabel Shrivener up to, why didn't Clarrie stand up for Neil and the wonder of school dinner ladies.

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Happy birthday to us, Amber helps the Grundies pull together and would you ask your uncle for advice if you were having relationship problems?

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Pip is in denial and Stella's in a fit of fury

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A farewell to Peggy and a new arrival is announced #TheArchers

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Tony has a tantrum, Susan has a screwdriver and Fallon finds freedom #TheArchers

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Village shops, dating apps, anxious middle class parents and Jeff imagines bowling with Mother Teresa.

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Jeff has Dane lined up for Helen, Lucy has the sack lined up for Zainab and we wonder who's going to emerge alive from this extended family holiday.

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Let's all pretend we're thrilled about inheriting £300, and the cracks are beginning to show at Beechwood.....

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Usha reappears, Ambridge finally wins the cricket and Peggy passes on.

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Helen's tightlipped and Freddie feels threatened by the Keystone Cops of the saboteur world...

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We can't wait for Helen to move in with Tom and Natasha, Febreze is looking for new staff and we are baffled by What the Hell is Happening Here.

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Elizabeth rebukes Freddie for snobbery and Rochelle sounds desperate..

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All of a sudden the inheritance tax is the talk of the Bull and does Vince really fancy Rochelle?

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In this week's slightly shorter episode (recorded on Thurs, so minus Friday's exciting events, whatever they may be...) we wonder what Rochelle's motives might be and whether Robert's behaving wisely.

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Rochelle vs Joy: who's telling the truth? RIP Constanze and a Grundy/Carter rapprochement.

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Krusty loses her temper, Tom loses Natasha and Freddie loses the goodwill of the cricket team.

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What is George's great plan, Eddie stop rapping for the love of God and who made up that protest chant?

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Lilian has no boundaries and Krusty has no hope.

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We discuss Khalil's backstory, and Harriet's delighted that the bitch is back at Bridge Farm.

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Harriet reckons she has Post Traumatic Sh*t Disorder, we are disappointed in the lack of Home Farm detail and Lucy's distressed by Tracey.

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Not exactly a romantic Valentine's week, was it? The Bridge Farm lot are swimming in it and Wayne's up to the neck in it.

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We're never going to hear from Harassment again, are we?

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Lucy and Jeff try and imagine the Feedback inbox this week and wonder how many more of these weeks on #TheArchers we can stand, and Febreze goes backstage at the Ambridge pantomime

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Lucy goes Tarantino on Joy, Harriet thinks Nellie is Neil's mother and no-one understands why Americans use cups as a measurement.

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Is Henry the most astute of all the Archers? Rochelle theories abound, Jazzer rings in and is Joy nice or nasty?

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Since when did everyone love Leonard so much, Harriet is disgruntled and we try and work out why Khalil and Henry would want to go to the local pantomime.

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Krusty and Rex come up with yet another crackpot idea, and Harriet threatens to leave if anything happens to Neil.

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Ta-da! What's the story with Rochelle and we rub our hands with glee at the prospect of Tom, Helen and Natasha bunking up together....

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Huge thanks to Jeff for producing, Harriet for her amazing voices and Matt for the music. And to you, lovely listeners, for your patience, emails, good humour and wit over the past year. Happy Christmas one and all xxx

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This week Joy fails to take a hint and we wonder why we've gone off Mick. Also we forgot to include What the Hell is Happening Here...sorry!

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Back to normal! Is Joy too perfect? Is Lynda too bored? And is Zainab too cheeky? Lucy prepares for Storm Darragh and Harriet's dad confesses to speedy cycling #TheArchers 

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Well we didn't think it was possible that people would have been crosser about anything than they were about the Christmas Carol storyline, but guess what? #TheArchers

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