The Wittering Whitehalls

If you've come this far, you probably know that once Mr Whitehall's fire is lit, there's not much anyone can do to slow him down... This week, he's ready to give his honest feelings on Bake Off and baking more generally, in fact. No holding back here. Plus, the lid is lifted on Richard E. Grant, following the Celebrity Traitors finale.

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This week, a DL story reminds Mrs Whitehall of a pre-holiday drama which unfolded and nearly ruined everything! Do you hate losing things? EVERYBODY DOES! If it's really important and you want a shortcut to finding it, you're going to need to try this.

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Halloween is a bit of a divider on this side of the Atlantic. Some people are very keen, whilst others let it pass by without a thought. Whitehall Towers is in the latter camp, but with so many grandchildren around nowadays, there's growing pressure to mark the time of year and make a fuss. Is it time to get out onto the streets of Putney for a spot of trick-or-treat? Plus... Hiding baby bumps and managing a wedding guest list before it gets out of hand!

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The question this week is a salacious one... Kiki from NZ asks (in a nutshell) - does a local business owner want my business, OR does he want my BUSINESS? Do you follow? Don't worry, because Mr Whitehall doesn't either.

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Is it entertaining, or is it cruel, that Mrs Whitehall and the production team deliberately seek out things which Mr Whitehall has not experienced and then force them on him? Either way, it's happened. Michael Whitehall has tried his very first pumpkin spiced latte... So what's the verdict? Plus, on more pressing matters: How do we avoid unnecessary worry? Which generation are most into birdwatching?

AND...

WHO featured in a recent article of Country Life magazine?!

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This week, an emailing DL wants to know whether it's possible not to worry one's self to death, as one's teenagers catapult themselves into independence... In theory, that's a short answer, but NOT at Whitehall Towers. This episode goes EVERYWHERE.

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Did you miss them? Of course you did! They're back. Mr & Mrs Whitehall were bursting to get back on the couch and start wittering again. To kick off series 13, a newscaster from the USA shares her trials and tribulations with creepy old men, a voice note takes us all on a deep dive into accents and what they mean, PLUS all the updates that you MUST be across in the Whitehall universe.

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This week, an email that seems to echo through history to a younger Mr & Mrs Whitehall. A newly married DL has been in touch, asking if Mrs Whitehall has any advice after she married a man who might possibly be another Mr Whitehall... Once you've heard about some of his outbursts, you might well agree.

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TRIGGER WARNING: If you don't like graphic injury detail, please approach with caution!

This week, a story from Canada that is hilarious and harrowing in equal parts!! Plus, Mr Whitehall once again questions whether the production team are leading everyone down the wrong road and Mrs Whitehall caught a couple coming out of a restaurant bathroom... TOGETHER!

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The DL community is so wonderfully varied, with so much going on and so many experiences being had at any one time, so it's always a joy to jump into the inbox and see what's happening. This week, the Whitehalls hear from Lana, a Ukranian DL living in Germany and doing a cracking job raising a very young baby. You can do it, Lana!

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Mrs Whitehall is no stranger to corralling a moody teenager... She had three to deal with in close succession, after all. Plus, how Mr Whitehall's life could have taken a VERY different turn and why the Princess of Wales gets called the wrong name ALL the time.

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Have you ever worn or owned a leather jacket? Whether or not other people think it suits you, there's quite a good chance that you'll feel splendid wearing it. Give it a try. This weeks email comes from a DL who is less than impressed with her husband's new jacket. But what can she do about it? The Wittering Whitehalls to the rescue!

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The DL's of this podcast are wonderful. The way they weave a story and allow us into every nook and cranny of their lives is fabulous. Emails are often a page or more and give every detail one could ask for... That's not always the case though. This week, a DL was in touch with a question that took up only 4 words! Luckily, the answer was a little bit longer. Plus, do you / should you use your "best" crockery and why you simply MUST try monkfish.

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Come on then, folks... Where do we stand on bidets? It's bound to start a debate. Unsurprisingly, it's a debate that splits the WW's sofa down the middle.

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Back in the day, it might not have done an actor's career much good to star in a commercial, but why has that changed and what went on behind the scenes when the deals were being made? Plus, a multi-generational living update and what's your favourite theme tune??

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Mind. Blown. Those are the words of Mrs Whitehall this week. DL Callum learned something whilst helping his daughter with maths homework and he's shared something which he had to share immediately! Plus... Nigel is still on the scene and it might be the last you see/hear from him for a little while!

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Nigel, though a sweet little chap, is very naughty indeed... For the second week in a row, he was allowed into the podcast recording and proved quite a challenge. Away from his hijinks, Mr & Mrs Whitehall advise a Swiss gentleman on his retirement and hear from a fellow cockapoo owner... Does it all get easier?

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Did you ignore advice from your elders in your youth? Perhaps your still enjoying your youth... Do you take parental wisdom well? Mr & Mrs Whitehall have a few thoughts for a DL who has managed to put together enough money for a holiday, but whose parents think they'd be better saving it! What to do...

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It can almost be guaranteed that the way this DL's Dad eats his dinner is unique. Surely, nobody else on Earth does it this way?? Plus, an inflatable bath (how does that actually work?!) and a very, very naughty puppy... NIGEL IS BACK!

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Whether it's your own children, grand-children, nieces, nephews or kids of friends, there are huge mistakes that can be made if you're buying them presents. Is it the same thing? Is it the same colour? The same size? Tick all of these things off the list so that you don't make the same mistake this weeks DL did!!

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If someone's getting sassy with you, it's best to be sure. How easy is that if the person in question is employing passive aggression? Needless to say, Mr & Mrs Whitehall come at it from very different perspectives. Plus, a curious experiment involving Otzi The Iceman and 100 ways to cook an egg!

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There's been a lot of back and forth over the 'shoes on / shoes off' inside the house issue, lately. Wherever you fall on the spectrum of feelings DL's seem to have on it, you might not have thought about it quite as deeply as this weeks emailer, Tess. Ever thought about actually WHAT is on the bottom of people's shoes? Tess has!

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This is exactly why this podcast started in the first place!!! A darling DL needs some sage advice and they've come to the best place for it. Plus, a celeb-studded family outing for the Whitehalls and a VERY tempting ad in the classifieds...

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This week, a DL has a very complicated and potentially embarrassing social situation to navigate... They're off to Romania, with absolutely no idea of what's going to happen when they arrive. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?!

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The Wittering Whitehalls are here to help you and sometimes, that help or advice might be a little out of left field, but maybe it's worth a go! Got a special day coming up? Need good weather? GIVE THIS A GO! Plus, the time Mr Whitehall took Mrs Whitehall to the church he got married in, TO SOMEBODY ELSE!!!

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Hands up if you constantly pick your mobile phone up, for absolutely NO REASON whatsoever and start scrolling through trash... This week's DL has recognised this in themselves and asks The Wittering Whitehalls for a solution.

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There's been *quite* a bit a of football on lately and this week, a DL has a question: Should I make my husband miss the World Cup Final, so that we can celebrate a milestone anniversary? Plus, emigrating to Australia and a possible Mrs Whitehall spotting on the telly!

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It's a sensitive, age-old and often problematic topic this week. A DL is sick to the back teeth of her Mother-in-law's 'helpful advice.' If you've got something to say, or a way of doing something that might make it easier, you might be ok to say it, but choose the right time and definitely say it nicely!

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For whatever reason, the inbox was overflowing with emails from DL's claiming 'my Dad this' and 'my Dad that'. It meant there was nothing else for it... A Dad special! And in true Dad form, each one was more peculiar than the last!

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How do we feel about keen sales staff? This weeks lesson is all about remembering to be patient and kind... They've got a job to do! That said, if you do get annoyed by this sort of thing, you might just be more of a MR Whitehall than a MRS Whitehall!

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Mrs Whitehall gets very nervous when Mr Whitehall winds himself up to start talking about politics... That's exactly what's happened this week and he is NOT holding back. Once that's dealt with, there's a lot of laughter and giddiness with

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You may or may not have access to an electric car. You may or may not WANT access. You also, may or may not have friends or relatives who have chosen an electric car. In any case, this episode may or may not answer some of the questions you have. Is it right to turn up at someone's house and just EXPECT a charge? We'll see...

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We did it! It happened! DL Sally from Melbourne came to London and we threw a party in her honour!! In other news, Mrs Whitehall’s morning bike ride down the King's Road ended dramatically - and Mr Whitehall is ready to track down the white van man responsible and handle things the old-fashioned way.

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The DL's are nothing if not diligent and this week, one particular DL is in touch with a life lesson of their very own and you might well want to try this for yourself! Meanwhile, little Nigel continues to disrupt proceedings, but he's so cute you'll forgive him!

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There's almost nothing that The Wittering Whitehalls can't help you with... But how on Earth can they help a listener whose landlord is about to become their neighbour! Plus, Mr Whitehall has a rant about lyricists (sorry lyricists!) and Nigel the puppy continues to cause chaos!

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As a Dear Listener of The Wittering Whitehalls, you MUST love a household item hack... If you don't, you're about to learn a few, regardless. Grease spots? GONE. Ink stains? NO PROBLEM! Plus, an update on how it's all going with little Nigel!

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TRIGGER WARNING: Today's episode deals with the loss of a family pet.

There's a lot to take in today. Firstly, The Wittering Whitehalls are back, which is FAB! Unfortunately they've got some sad news to share with you, but that has led to a chain reaction and something more positive as a result. Light and shade! Plus, the thorny issue of family resemblance and heroic deeds in the name of love!

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Would you like to join Mr & Mrs Whitehall for a LIVE podcast record? Then why don't you?! On Tuesday 26th May at 6pm, you can join DL Sally from Melbourne's DL party at 21Soho in London. Be quick though... Tickets are very limited. You must be over 18 and terms & conditions apply. You can read them here: https://global.com/wittering-whitehalls-terms-and-conditions/

Doors will open at 5pm, for the episode record at 6pm.

So, who's in? Visit the following link to get your ticket!

https://www.universe.com/events/the-wittering-whitehalls-dl-do-tickets-CQX12V

So, for the final outing of series 11, Dr Oscar Duke is still on hand and still expertly answering your questions, wherever he can, between Mr Whitehall's rants and raves. In case you happen to need it, there's PLENTY of advice in this episode to help get rid of those nasty warts...

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It’s that time of the series already! Mr & Mrs Whitehall are thrilled to welcome Dr Oscar Duke onto the blue sofa at Whitehall Towers to put your questions to him (not to mention some of their own). Is red wine good or bad? How much stress is too much? We might actually learn something!

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Mrs Whitehall is all for you going and learning something new, but if you fancy fitting new brakes to your car and you haven't got a CLUE what you're doing, think again. Mr Whitehall agrees, not least because there's no way he'd give anything like this a go. Ever.

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In any relationship, you’re going to find that recollections vary when it comes to telling a good story… When you’ve been married for 40 years, there can be huge gaps in the combined memory and the story is different every time! This week: Great appreciation for the engineering of the 20th century and a monk who’s apparently been teaching since the 1950s!

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There's an air of chaos and urgency at Whitehall Towers and it all feeds into this weeks Life Lesson. How good are you at completing tasks? Do you procrastinate or face it head on? Mrs Whitehall has some advice, though she doesn't necessarily heed it herself.

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Mrs Whitehall has gone on about the ruby for ALMOST as long as she went on about meeting Jamie Vardy.... But, has it happened? Did Mr Whitehall do good?! Plus... Why turning 30 is GREAT and what to do if you've got (naughty) noisy neighbours... How embarrassing!

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We're at the school gates and things are getting awkward for this weeks DL... It's one thing dealing with kids, but how are you supposed to deal with their parents?!

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Mr & Mrs Whitehall met Andrew Castle this week and apparently Mrs Whitehall was a BIG fan. Plus, what to do in an incredibly embarrassing situation and why an all inclusive holiday can be made stressful.

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You'll NEVER guess who used to own Whitehall Towers... How has this only just come out now?! Play a game with yourself and have a guess before you listen. This week, a DL needs pepping up for a new job... You can do it!

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It's true to say that Mr & Mrs Whitehall are not, traditionally, 'pub people', but if they were called upon to form a pub quiz team, who would get the nod?! Plus, a moderate-to-large rant about the Thames rowers at this time of year...

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Amongst Mr Whitehall's many interests, he has a bit of a thing for clocks. Mrs Whitehall isn't fussed either way, but she knows a thing or two about another topic in this weeks bonus and that's collecting randoms... She has an ever-growing list!

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The Wittering Whitehalls, still at the BBH (Banbury Bolthole) come to you with another romp through the emails inbox. Have you ever embarrassed yourself in front of a vicar? Have you ever considered becoming a Monk? Michael Whitehall has...

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FIRST THINGS FIRST: Misophonia sufferers, beware... This episode contains crisp crunching. Secondly, you'll never guess where Mr Whitehalls sensible weight gaining journey has taken him now!!

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Mr Whitehall receives an invitation from a DL this week, but will he accept? Meanwhile, Mrs Whitehall considers whether or not she'd like contact from the other side.

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This weeks bonus episode is frothing with very exciting ideas and it's not short on advice either... What are your unexpected must-haves?

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What is the traditional gift for a 40th wedding anniversary? If you didn't already know, this episode will tell you in no uncertain terms: It's RUBIES. Plus, a wonderful idea inspired by DL Sally in Melbourne and an eagle-eyed DL who wants answers.

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Because The Wittering Whitehalls has been trucking on for so long, there are lots of well-established traditions that we all love. This week, it's one of those "Mr Whitehall becomes exasperated reading a particularly long email" times. You've got to love those.

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Mrs Whitehall made the MOST of the Brits the other week... Sadly, Mr Whitehall had other plans which involved staying at home and most definitely, not going to the Brits. Plus, what really happened at the emu farm and why might your podcasts gone a bit lumpy?

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Do you have a bath? Could you gain access to a bath if not? Mrs Whitehall says that if you need a to have a good think, you can't beat a nice hot soak.

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It's a packed one this week, DL's. The mail bag at Whitehall Towers was brimming with thoughts, feelings and stories, from class clowning, to an older gentleman who will NOT be told.... So it's not just Mr Whitehall.

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Do you deal with persistent latecomers? Mrs Whitehall has PLENTY of experience in this area with a certain someone who you might have heard of...

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Another week and another surfeit of emails, with a surprise guest out of the blue! How might you get an upgrade on a flight, do you hold any grudges and which TV show would you live in, if you had to?

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This week, DL Joel has a right old tale to tell! What a situation he found himself in!!

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All DL's are going to have ideas about what makes a 'classic' WW's episode, but surely any time Mr Whitehall is bursting into song (more than once) has got to be a good bet? This week... A DL who wonders why people aren't getting dressed to go out, some top drawer sightseeing recommendations and a bit of a dance around the house.

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We've all heard Mrs Whitehall's tips on keeping this and that in the fridge to use again... A smidge of this and a dollop of that... Well, this week's DL has a Mother who does exactly that, but are the lengths she goes to worth it?

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Do you ever sit and watch or listen to The Wittering Whitehalls, thinking "I wonder what, exactly, Mr Whitehall is reading at the moment." Has that ever cropped up? Whether it has or not, Mr Whitehall has taken it upon himself to tell you this week... It's no fewer than FOUR books. Once that's out the way, it's time for a fasting diet, a bit of bodging together and the answer to the question "what should I do with my old, lucky pants?"

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Every DL email (or WhatsApp!) that comes into the inbox is a treat and keeps the Whitehalls wittering, but sometimes a DL goes over and above with detail and effort… That’s exactly what DL Ray has done here. Fair play, Ray.

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You surely know them... The red trouser brigade? Maybe you're one of them! This week, a DL needs help with their presumptuous brother and the Whitehalls give their thoughts on a loo with a glass door.

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As we go through life, we're sometimes compelled to get shot of everything and start again... This week, a DL has questions about her Mother, who seems intent on giving everything away!

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Hopefully the wait wasn't too long... The Wittering Whitehalls are back on the airwaves and it's time to hit the ground running in 2026. A quick look back at the word of the year for 2025 and then it's off to Madeira and time to tackle an issue for grown up children... Is your parent's dog really more important than you?

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Having kept you company throughout the Christmas and New Year break, (if you got one, that is) Mr & Mrs Whitehall see out series 10 with some trademark advice. Worry not, however... They will be back on Monday 2nd February!

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2025 was a big year in the land of The Wittering Whitehalls... A tour? Done and dusted? 10 series’?!! You'd better believe it. They'll keep coming too, because before long, Mr & Mrs Whitehall will return with series 11!

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HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM WHITEHALL TOWERS! Wishing you a prosperous, healthy and fulfilling 2026 and thank you for being a DL!

For the first episode of the year, Mr & Mrs Whitehall have some advice for a DL who is about to enter the Grandparent era of their life!

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This week is, somehow, all about nodes... You'll find out why. In the post-Christmas but pre-new-year fog, Mr & Mrs Whitehall convene to shine a light into the year ahead.

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What a treat! A Christmas Day special from Mr & Mrs Whitehall, straight from Whitehall Towers, to wherever you find yourself. Whatever you're doing and whether you have company or not, they're here!

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Despite it being strongly against Mr Whitehall's wishes, this is a quite Christmas-heavy episode. 'Tis the season after all. Get ready for tinsel, mince pies, ice skating and sage advice for the time of year.

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This week, a DL shares plans for their 30th birthday party, to gauge whether it'll be a hit or not... The bottom line? Do what you want! It's your birthday!!

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In the final date of The Wittering Whitehalls: Barely Alive 2025 tour, Michael & Hilary played to a sold out crowd at Salford's Quays Theatre. It was a lovely way to end the tour (for now) and the emails, stories and reactions were 10/10!

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There's no doubting it... AI is here and it's only going to get bigger, in all of our lives. But what about the AI art scene? Is it a danger to real art? Almost certainly... We need to keep an eye on this!

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Back on the road, for the last couple of this particular tour - The Wittering Whitehalls found themselves in Stockton-on-Tees for a wonderful audience at The Globe. The questions are...

"What's a chicken parmo?"

"What generation does Michael really belong to?"

and... "What happened that night at the hospital?"

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This week's email comes from a DL who sounds less than enthusiastic about the magic of Elf-on-the-shelf... Naturally, Mr Whitehall agrees completely, but is there some advice from the other end of the sofa? Of course there is!

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You might think Mr Whitehall is a man immune to following a trend... You'd be wrong! Plus, a strange online habit from a DL's boss and whether or not a knighthood changes someone...

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Mrs Whitehall is full of life lessons this week, to make up for the weeks where she's concerned she didn't explicitly deliver any. No danger of that here...

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As Mrs Whitehall is so keen to tell you, Crewe is a MAJOR junction in terms of rail travel in the UK... But they weren't just passing through. Mr & Mrs Whitehall took to the stage at The Lyceum for a wonderful evening which covered everything from proposals to breakups!

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Whilst the subject of this weeks email isn't at all funny, there was at least a bit of light in the darkness of it all. Flashers are apparently still an issue in 2025 and one that Mrs Whitehall herself has encountered. What's the matter with these people?!

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In the second visit to Yorkshire on this tour, Mr & Mrs Whitehall got right into this Saturday night show, with a fantastic crowd. Expect unfortunate misunderstandings with kindly neighbours, a bucket list trawl and some coaching on the local dialect!

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It's not the first time Mr & Mrs Whitehall have been asked for podcast recommendations, but there are so many these days - it's tough to keep up! Plus, snack wars and whether or not you can describe a person and their talents as 'incredibly prolific."

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In the first of three nights of live shows on the bounce, Mr & Mrs Whitehall stopped off in bustling Birmingham for a rip-roaring evening. Expect awkward laughter in church, shocking revelations and BYOB!

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The Whitehalls returned from the Richmond Theatre, just down the road to Whitehall Towers; the shortest journey home yet! For this life lesson, a DL who is looking for a bit of energy from somewhere... But where to find it?

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On to Richmond and what a fantastic audience they were... The Whitehalls met Charlie and glossed over whether or not he was old enough to be at the show, receive a thoughtful present from Diana and give Toby & Adam some advice for the future!

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As the dust settles on another wonderful tour show, Mr & Mrs Whitehall are back at Whitehall Towers to consider a life lesson... All brought on by a brilliant story from DL's Bradley & Ellen!

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The tour carried on without pause this week, to the Yvonne Arnaud Theatre in Guildford! Listen out for the moment Mr Whitehall commits fully to throwing the Americans under the bus... Only to realise there are a couple in the audience!

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After the DL's had left the auditorium and the long journey from York back to Whitehall Towers was complete, it was time to fire up the microphones once more for a debrief and a life lesson... So what was Krista going to ask, after the false start on her email from Monday?

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It's ALIVE! Finally, after years of saying it would happen, here are The Wittering Whitehalls LIVE in a theatre, in front of a real audience!! Recorded at The Grand Opera House in York, with a packed house of lovely DL's, this was a real treat.

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Mr Whitehall's back is still bothering him, but it's not getting in the way of this weeks 'light' helping. A DL asks this week whether he was aware of Winston Churchill's love of a 'onesie'. What do you think?

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Mr Whitehall is not at his physical best this week, following a mild back injury... That doesn't stop him from exercising his theatrical skills, though. It's worth a look, so why not try the full video episodes on YouTube & Global Player? Plus... Seeking sofa perfection and a chap from the Channel Islands who doesn't hold with reversing into a parking space.

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An email from a DL all the way from Newfoundland this week! But should she come out of semi-retirement to do a fun job that gives her a break from house tasks? Her husband doesn't seem keen...

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Where are the Cotswolds? Well, Mr Whitehall has a pretty good idea of where ISN'T the Cotswolds... More on that later. Plus, the Cybertruck, more initialisms and the trouble with football commentators.

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It's not easy dealing with kids, at ANY age and the Whitehalls know that plenty well enough. This week, a DL seeks advice over their son and his girlfriend... What's the best course of action??

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The Whitehalls are back to accompany you into the Autumn and there's no hanging about... This week, Mr Whitehall takes a very scientific, very in-depth quiz to determine his 'spirit animal' once and for all.

JOIN THE WITTERING WHITEHALLS FOR THEIR BARELY (A)LIVE TOUR: https://thewitteringwhitehalls.co.uk/

You can email your questions, thoughts or problems to TheWitteringWhitehalls@gmail.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to send a WhatsApp message or Voice note? Why not?! Send them in to +447712147236

This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.

It's time to test the emoji knowledge of two octogenarian men... Roll up, roll up! Mrs Whitehall, inspired by a curious DL, is going to quiz Michael and Neil to see whether they have any hope of decoding such a complex, modern language.

JOIN THE WITTERING WHITEHALLS FOR THEIR BARELY (A)LIVE TOUR: https://thewitteringwhitehalls.co.uk/

You can email your questions, thoughts or problems to TheWitteringWhitehalls@gmail.com

Or, perhaps you'd like to send a WhatsApp message or Voice note? Why not?! Send them in to +447712147236

This episode contains explicit language and adult themes that may not be suitable for all listeners.