Turi Ryder's "She Said What?" Podcast

Marauding elk and dangerous weapons. Safety features that should last longer. The "Captain Oblivious" contest winner. Not-exactly-free parking. Surveillance, Flock Camera's and the defense we do not officially recommend.

Marci designs what she hopes will be an accident-proof camping necessity. The baby learns what not to kiss. Bad huggers, good huggers, and dresses that are a little too form-fitting. Imigining other people's private lives. The intolerable moustache.

New tortures old tortures, the world of physical therapy and the Spanish Inquisition. Uncivil. Maps with new names. Togo vs Greenland.

Marci feels bad for the people washed away…and invites the clouds over to her house. There are vacation planners, and do-ers, and there are vacation slackers. The reunion that's just for men. When you think you're over it….but find out you're not.

Marci has had it with the latest foster litter. How to embarrass your dog. The mammogram is now a spa for your breasts. The dangerous party invitation.

Marci has returned from vacation…and forgotten everything. The TootsieRolls™ are responsible. How to lose your credibility when giving pet advice. How far away can you get and still be a neighbor?

Marci is in the same Chicago studio as Turi. Because of a wedding. A very damp wedding. Can clergy please hurry up? Before tiktok ruined adolescence, there were magazines. Alexa, the conspirator.

Marci is a day late, and $2000 short. Crying at at the customer service counter. Spoofing the FBI and the DC Metro Police. When to believe your best friend.

The Natural Disaster Revue, or "how long are we going to be stuck in the basement?" Grade inflation. You can do a lot of jobs without a diploma, just not that one. The Thunderbirds, the Blue Angels, and the President's catering cart escape.

Marci's I-pad demands a blood sacrifice. A business admits it's wrong. Two podcasters—2 problems—let's trade. The wandering shipment. Dead sidewalk rat update, with a spider in exchange.

Turi has a middle class housewife problem. It includes breakage….LOTS of breakage. Marci attempts to retrain a cat. So far, not successful. There will be blood.

Odd mysterious pile appears in Marci's studio. The week when you decide to get everything done. A visit to the old highschool. How hard did you hit that car? (A safe way to tell from a distance). Predicting when someone will yell at you.

Learning the "on hold" music by heart. Don't call me "ma'am". We are not the training department. Marci's shrinking head vs. your old underwear. Missing payphone/outhouses. How to find a safety pin, and Marci's old chapstick. The desperate move of the "purse dump." Thrifting from the sidewalk.

We get advice from old[er] people. Marci tackles the Grand Canyon. Risks, and how to benefit from other people's reckless behavior. Explosive cyclospora euphemisms. Fuzzy things are not always cute. The flying squirrels (or are they chipmunks) of the Grand Canyon.

Forest fire air. How to spot faux Italian cooking (and a restaurant that served it). The wandering kosher turkey. The non-miracle of kosher salt. IMAX in Arizona without A/C. Whoops, wrong lettuce or cheering for good poops.

Strategies for keeping your adult children from moving back in, including cinder block. Daddy long legs, worms, centipedes, and axolotyl lizards, oh my. How to delete a recurring nightmare from your consciousness.

More reasons to lie to your spouse. Religion can save you from household drudgery. Marci contemplates blood in IMAX. An ample obsequious Alexa in every room. Education, Home Depot, and the baked potato.

"BCE"—before cellphones existed. Nice people make Turi look bad. When your spouse manipulates to make you manipulative. The non-shocking shock collar. The eternal conversation between mothers of kids behaving badly. When you are still punk. The unexpected sea chanty.

Marci's personal "Burning Man" is causing her to reevaluate mountain living. What you can watch with a TV antenna. Turi's long, garlicky, painful busride: lessons learned.

Marci is looking for safety as Arizona burns, and she may need to pick up a couple of hundred cats. There are the realistically phobic people, and the nut jobs and paranoics. You can find out who is who on social media.Turi is cautioned never to watch Game of Thrones. Fireworks in a hazard zone. Pickpocketing—a national sport. Fear of mascots.

The longer something has not been working, the better you feel when you find out you didn't break it. A room full of sports writers, and a moment of silence.

Rattlesnakes are all over Marci's neighborhood. There's a plan for that. Disgusting things you probably never thought dogs could do. Disgusting things you probably never thought pigs could do.

Marci demonstrates the unusual value and properties of childproof caps, smartphones, and Skin-So-Soft. That friend who sends you articles about woo-woo faux science, and one of the hocus pocus queens leaves for an alternate dimension. Or maybe just leaves.

Marci has been caring for a toddler…a toddler who thinks diaper training is a game. We've all been there, and some of us (including even ourselves and perhaps some famous people) don't seem to have fully solved the problem.

It takes a rabbit to catch Marci's dog. New rural neighbors with loud radios and a backhoe. Choosing pets and husbands for looks, or, the every-six-year haircut. Audio books are NOT efficient (don't believe anyone who tells you "I get so much done…") No use for "Catcher in the Rye." More use for "Lord of the Flie." Marci likes "Justice Judy."

The two-hour drive for the 5 minute appointment. Peter Pan vs the computer or, who is the grown up here? Robin Byrd interviewed Ron Jeremy a million years ago—when nobody waxed. Hygene for furniture.

Marci yields to a highway (Route 66) full of hotrods, but the vibe is a little to sultry. How to apologize to old people. Birds that hang on your chest, and the women who love them. The "I'll finish it later" problem.

Turi is assigned homework. To be more accurate—bathroom work. Doctors you should not marry. The out-of-context in-person meeting, or "I know I know you…." What you eat when you are too hungry. Rummaging through your kitchen cupboard late at night.

Marci finds an unused liquid in her bathroom cabinet…and decides to try it. Turi is assigned the collection of an entirely different fluid.

A business' web site tells you exactly what it thinks of its competition…and possibly you.

Fun navigating in and negotiating with your city bureaucracy (extra points if your city is Oakland, CA.) Don't touch my tree. How do you know if you're being asked for a bribe? Wedding madness: Marci's youngest plans her event-which involves demolishing Marci's property. The semi-permanent sidewalk art in a trendy Chicago neighborhood: a dessicated rat.

When was the last time someone asked you for a bribe? How do you know? The City of Oakland, California vs The City of Chicago. Marci's daughter's wedding plans. Dead rats on the sidewalk vs redwood trees upending the sidewalk.

Sometimes you wish there were an explanation for your difficult week—but the planets and stars are not it. Somehow, the glasses are your fault. The primary school valentine for the kid you didn't like. The hazard of "don't you know who I am?" Things (famous) people should have learned about Zoom. Marci wears the wrong shirt to appear on national TV. And Elvis…is still dead.

Marci does something many of you would never, ever do—and now she is in pain. Nature is arguably bad. The Midwest vs. California, or the open bar vs the vegetable platter. (When we say hide the sausage, we mean it.)

Marci's neighboring mountain is in flames (nobody is hurt) with extremely inconvenient results. Wildlife hits the ground. The blended worm. Biology you've forgotten. What not to have outside your expensive store. The "Most Oblivious Partner" contest announcement (and why we're holding one.)

New ideas for getting rid of toxic waste, purchasing furniture, or possibly removing unwanted house guests. How to entertain your children, recklessly. Mummies make great babysitters. Not the British kind, the dead kind.

Whenever you plan a trip….there's that news story. Switchbacks to Sedona. The Hell's Angels go shopping. Swedish biker fish. Escape of the hounds.

That's not what you thought you were eating. What's in your underwear? Admit you're too old for that. Insulting a house for sale online. How to die in the bathtub. Rebuilding Elvis' house at your house, or how to mangle 150 year old mansion. The Jungle Room in Reno.

Five days, one missing phone. Paying ransom. If aliens abduct your partner… Falling back in love with the dollar store. A lifetime supply is a terrifying thing. The artist's vaccine, and poisoned manicotti. Ma'am, are these your goats?

When everything goes wrong on your birthday, is that karma? Three dogs, three ways to ruin your life. One solution to missing out on a promotion: poison your colleague. Can you take your dog's drugs?

Getting back on the horse—really. Revelations about Marci's past. The dog that hates your partner. The fancy birthday dinner that takes you back to your childhood…in a not great way. How much did you pay for that drink? Scary restaurant mascots. Steak.

Grandbabysitting, and what the space age diaper change. Exhaustion vs insomnia. The boomer iPhone case. Your bra as a weapon. The eye exam or "get that optician off my lawn." Happy birthday to us.

Have you ever heard friends describe their perfect holiday and thought "that sounds like hell"? This is what that sounds like. And, extra expensive holiday food that is purposely awful.

The last pre-Passover sprint. Travelling a little too light, and a little too late. The emotional support worm.

The list of things we're not talking about. School lunch failures. A dog flies out the window, and a bunny takes blame. The new refrigerator challenge. Shopping for Passover at 7,000 feet. Somebody loves matzah, and we know who it is. Making a living with toilet seat art. Whither the giant rat?

Marci has been on a quest for corned beef. Things you remember about St. Patrick's Days gone by…plus nausea, vomit, and one really bad date. The Gene Simmons waffle maker, and other mysterious promotional products.

Taylor Sheridan creates (again and again) bimbos in bikinis. Marci's lost and found. The Oscars' swag bag has coupons. You don't want them.

An accidental waste of time. The wrong line at Costco. No faith in multitasking. Porn on the job. Call Triple A. Google paranoia. Who counts ants? The pet lizard and the wrong roach.

The revolving foster dog. When your friends send you fiction they think is fact. How to know it's not news. Using the BBC as Valium. How to find the right podcast.

Badass cat. Almost broken enough. How the Chinese will take over America. Hint: you have one next to your bed. Working from home ideas: develop your own kink website. YouTube vs Only Fans.

Dammit. That was supposed to make your life easier. Who dares to put his stuff in your closet? Can you live on what's in your pantry?

When you had to turn the car around as a disciplinary technique. What the algorithm feeds you, or how your favorite celebrity would look if s/he weren't dead. Confession: beauty products your loved ones are not allowed to use.

Do men communicate psychically? The BAFTA Awards show, the TV guy with tourette's, (John Davidson)—in which we actually try (and fail) to tackle a serious topic. Are Michael B Jordan and Delroy Lindo owed an apology? The eggshell moment.

When beauty goes wrong—the eyebrow edition. When dirt is fun, and appliances are exciting. The Hefty Bag suitcase or…how many socks are you wearing?

Be careful how you file things—accuracy can hurt you. When the budget airline decides to go upmarket, and it's made its living on cheapskates, how does that fly? Turi hears from customer service….sort of.

If you didn't understand it, was it really obscene?

The list of jobs you can do if you can't use your right hand is small. If you're Marci, it's miniscule. But we try… Recapping all the old jobs you never thought a person could have. "Sons of Anarchy" are ruining Marci's life.

Any number of strange animals may walk down your street. That doesn't mean they should. Marci triumphs over the worm farm. Love of lizards, and a trip to the vet.

When you name inanimate objects. Dog logic. Another new brassiere, and a drawer full of old ones. Chappell Roan's Grammy outfit. Kim Kardashian's new underwear. Melinda French Gates, Bill Gates, and the Epstein files.

Pajamas all day. Dirty books of years gone by, are surprisingly sexy, old TV….not so much. Coyotes—real and cartoon. Birthday party tchotchkes. We love Canada. Too much good news for Marci.

Snow can teach you a lot about your neighbors…but you probably already knew it. The hippies next door. Undercover as yourself.

A proven (almost) method for ridding Marci's house of the cattle invasion.

Update on the honey-do list—Marci has a sink for people who like to bust a move.

Marci is hinting at a few things she'd like done around the place. Turi learns the truth about that thing on the kitchen counter. What's in that fancy cookie tin? Hint: not cookies. Date night for Marci, and nobody has to go to jail.

Reprising the behavior of every verifiably insane dog Marci has ever owned. The cows are back, with a new target of destruction. Family photos—the hot potatoes of our time. Renaming solves everything.

Men are from name brand. Women are from generic. Marci's husband's medicine—a technique that sticks. An object from the past mysteriously appears at Marci's house. Fightin' words: you looked so cute in that old photo.

Flying tuna salad, courtesy of the foster dog. We interrupt this football game. A small household task. Want to give away those old drugs?

Marci's Christmas Season job has left her ill...or maybe it was the cookies. That's enough peppermint bark. The Kosher Trader Joe's Facebook Page Christmas fracas. What you (don't) get for Valentines Day. When you have a lot of extra booze.

No peace, no quiet, no recording. Neither Marci nor Turi is especially nice at Christmas, except when working the Polar Express. Turi speaks ill of the dead. Celebrity sightings, boobs and all. Sympathy for the chronically late.

Marci's dog is sexist. Turi's foster dog is oversexed. Someone who has a body part should be able to identify that part. A chatbot could do a better job of convincing you...of anything. Trivial (or lazy?) Amazon deliveries. How pets learn to eat disgusting things.

Pets will change your wardrobe. Training day for puppies. Bathroom rituals you would rather not know about. Subtle grooming hints. Parts of your body that need extra attention these days.

Turi has an anxiety attack watching a children's movie. Marci cannot reassure her. She also has to think of ways to indicate the word "Santa" to parents, and she's running out of polite phrases. And if you live in Arizona, watch out for the people who think they're in Indiana.

The dangers of the cone of shame. When you're the one helping, you get to do it your way. Home repair and a heaping pile of profanity. The podcast apology. The holiday office party...who's going, who's hiding.

The just-neutered Jerry Dingus Garcia slips a collar, and Marci skids out of control. The song of the difficult pet owner: "But I LOOOVE HIM". How to know when your spouse has had enough, part 1.

Jerry Dingus Garcia the possible wolfhound is finally….neutered. Are dog drugs the same as people drugs? The life of a shower chair. That chocolate bar seems to be having some unanticipated effects. The stash in the ceiling.

Insight into the body parts that are in sight on the Polar Express in Williams, Arizona. Fact: they are not pretty. Here, have some hand sanitizer. When things are so ugly they are cute, and when they stay ugly.

Marci received a challenge from "Steve in India." The hospital menu you can't order. The Polar Express is running, and Marci has to stare at a few things she'd rather not see.

When you tried to share your sex and relationship wisdom with your offspring (or your parents tried with you) how did that go? We compare notes.

Marci has been in training for her new job. She's learned some surprising things. How to be disappointed in the Grand Canyon (hint-A/I) What kind of a uniform is that? You want us to do WHAT at work? The Holiday Sweater debuts.

When your [holiday] work uniform is a Christmas sweater. The end of sexy lingerie. How did the drug test go? Doggie boot camp.

The axolotl is back home. Your insurance company is laughing at you. Marci blames every bad thing that's happening to her on a moment in a parking lot. Household accidents—catastrophe or karma? Let's blame somebody else. Your formal pickup truck.

When you clean up after your pet, does it involve a mop, baking soda, or a test tube? Too much fostering. Hair trauma. The axolotl is in danger at Marci's house.

Every marital fight turns out to be the same argument. Dog pee. Argument number 732B. Running into stationary objects. The axolotl is a labor of love. Underwater vacuum cleaning. Marci auditions for an unlikely gig.

Who knew you could have so much drama around a little hunk of (fake) cheese? Disgusting foods. Cultural dishes. Guinea pig: Pets or meat?

There are lots of reasons you may find yourself sleeping on your couch. Just ask Marci. The axolotl amphibian is taking over Marci's house. But...know what's worse? Why "whatever" is not "whatever."

Fostering pets is fun...and a hazard to your knees. Attractive merchandise sales pitches from your favorite (or least favorite) political party. Something new allegedly causes autism. Wanna guess what?

The axolotl lizard is settling in at Marci's...and it rests on bubbles. That's a neat machine—how does it work? Pets that traumatize your children.

Perhaps some people should not be working. Dangerous doorbells. That's no apology. Elite pets. When your axolotl lizard is hungry.

Everyone needs an editor, or a shorter religious service. Marci's mom solves the problem of being a sports fan while attending holiday prayers. A first haircut to remember. Injuries we gave ourselves as kids...but survived.

Domestic requests—list, wait, repeat. A spouse on the roof. Patriotic childproofing. How to know you have lost your maternal mind. Questions you will never have answered: how does this look on me? And "pop goes the what?"

A key three pieces. The things doctors and vets never write. Marci's dog goes to charm school. If you use it, your partner doesn't need to give you advice about it. The list of who screwed up what, and what each grievance is worth.

Marci's music festival anniversary trip to LA had its good points...mostly the bathrooms. What to wear when you're a really old hippie. Getting adjusted to better hotel rooms. When a restaurant tries to make a meat dish vegetarian. I can see up your skirt. GPS is a marriage killer.

Why do you pick up that little piece of useless plastic at the "giveaway" table??? Marci goes to the Coconino county fair. Babies. Chickens. Walking ventilation ducts. And a Post Malone air freshener with a talent.

Turi's new job as electronics customer service representative "Steve in India". Marshmallow confessions, and the end of the little neighborhood zoo. Marci is getting a new pet. Hint: it is not a goat…and it will require a HUGE amount of preparation.

The forgotten anniversary, or "Here. I found this in the freezer." The risks of open mic nights. Neutering—for dogs or maybe people. The surprise rate increase, and how it could be different.

The person who gives you the best excuse to do (or not do) that thing you wanted to do (or not do) in the first place. The limit of your allergies. Marci's heat wave. The "not fair" files: Documentaries you have to explain BEFORE you watch them. Plumbing, or weather—choose one.

Is your pet making you accident prone? Marci's walking into doors, and Turi may have a broken jar. Love. Anniversaries. Two different things. When you promise dinner, but don't specify the time.

If you think you have problems when you put your sweater on inside out...Marci has it a whole lot worse. A preview for people whose lives and bodies are still spicy. More things are unfair. How to dress your clumsy dog.

Sometimes the universe doesn't operate on a level playing field. What we learned in preschool. Song lyrics that are saving us now. The Thunderbirds at the Chicago Air and Water Show have wrought chaos at Turi's house. Marci admits to liking the Hamburger Helper Hand on her daughter's but...or at least preferring it to the ear guages.