Burn & Rave

Sometimes when you get to drinkin a little to hard you loose track of the days. Or weeks. But fresh outta rehab the boys are back and okay as ever. Tonight, Ryan gets generic and Sam commits a felony- oh boy! Later, Sam fondly recounts molesting a dying man. Ryan talks empty-nesting while Sam hooks up with yet another lady of the night at the local watering hole. Then we wrap it all up with quick convo on how you, yes you can monetize your genital warts. Tune in, you’ll be sorry you did...

In this historic first Ryan-edited episode, the boyz discuss the perks of being over 40: back pain. Ryan thinks he can break dance better than Raygun. Also, what happens after death? The men of B&R explore the afterlife and hot- boxing Aunt Betty. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank you letters, fan mail, media awards, or sick burns to burnandravepodcast@gmail....

Will Ryan’s ass ever be the same after getting “worked” over? In this episode we make sure he is comfy for the discussion in his special chair. Speaking of butt stuff, Sam breaks down what he saw at the gym and the boys get working on a plan to defend the planet from human extinction. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly! Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." ...

Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly! Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank you letters, fan mail, media awards, or sick burns to burnandravepodcast@gmail.com Follow us here: IG @burnandravepodcast Hosts: Ryan Rosenow & Sam Pierstorff (@njapoet) Sound Engineer: Joe Zimmerer Support the show

Ryan’s gonna drive your Ms. Daisy ass right the f#ck back to 1919 with a trip to Hearst Castle! Do you want to get away with any crime? Of course you do! And the answer is a Kanye mask and semen. Then we tame some stallions so the boys can teach YOU how to kick-flip YOUR horse. Have you been thinking about getting into 4 wheelin? Not anymore! Cause that sh*t is boring. Then Ryan gets economical and Sam talks burger joints. Mmmm…burgers. All this and more! Right from the com...

There once was a man from Nantucket and he loved himself the sh!t outta some Burn and Rave Podcast! Sam goes to the big city to try his hand at comedy. Then Sam discusses driving through tears. Ryan figures out how to get his dogs to pay their way. Also, who’s humpier: a camel or a dromedary? A drama-what??? Is camel style the new doggie style? Inquiring minds like mine want to know. Additional Hot Takes Include: McHenry ShawarmaBum Dog Training ProgramsGummi Bear Root Can...

Two brainless morons, special sauce, lettuce, & cheese. Straight out the gate Ryan demonstrates his tenuous grasp on the English language and they invent a way to put even the most notorious drug cartels out of business. Sam follows up with some new “jokes." Then he updates us on his downtown swinger friends. Ryan regains control of the ship with some good old barnyard ballin’ until Sam takes us on a deep dive into the seedy underbelly of Modesto's best dive bar. Get the popcorn...

The comedy podcast you love not telling anyone about is back and worse than ever. Ryan starts us out with some helpful summer driving tips then transitions seamlessly into astrology, denouncing Capricorns in the process. Then they play the who’s got a better name game: Sam or Ryan? (Hint: Not Ryan) Lastly, they roll the whole thing up with a Christmas offering: 12 days of taking advantage of your wife. Sprinkle in some Swedish nonsense, play some ABBA, and light the whole thing u...

Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this NEW episode responsibly! Content information has been purposely left blank. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank you letters, fan mail, media awards, or sick burns to burnandravepodcast@gmail.com Follow us here: IG @burnandravepodcast Hosts: Ryan Rosenow & Sam Pierstorff (@njapoet) Sound Engineer: Joe Zimmerer Support the...

Research shows that listening to the Burn and Rave podcast can cause mild brain damage on par with a night of heavy drinking. So sit back and crack open a brand new episode and let’s rot our minds together! Tonight, Ryan installs chain-drags for the heavy kids. We also discuss how Mike, the office guy, is the most unlucky thing in Chinese culture, and in a strange turn of usefulness, we teach you how to poop properly to avoid hemorrhoids. Additional topics include stoner piss f...

Lucky you! Tonight the boys try out some new joke material. Then Sam’s tells a joke so funny HR wants to hear it. How bad did Sam screw the pooch? Tune in and find out. Ryan opens up about his love of pearl necklaces. Is Sam schizophrenic? Who said that? Holy sh$t, that’s a lot. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly! Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the lig...

If cocaine could make a sound, this would be it. So roll up a dolla bill and get your ears ready for an ass-blast of psychological trauma! Sam finds his hidden talent (Hint: it has three holes and you stick your fingers into it), and Ryan stabs some kids. Sam also explores the virgin field of forensic fecal analyses. And finally, Sam shows Ryan where the bad man touched him. Oh yeah, there’s another top 10 list! Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode re...

Still here? Well great! Cause so are Sam and Ryan. Here’s what to expect from this circus: the age old tradition of “Jokes before hoes” is discussed and then Ryan breaks down the reasons gen Zer’s will never make captain. Then the boys give you some simple pointers on how to find easy blackmail targets and why PT Cruisers are not optimal vehicles. Ryan’s sausage squirts him in the eye and there’s another top 10 list! How do they do it? Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this ep...

Sit back, relax and pop a couple quaaludes cause Sam and Ryan are on a roll! Let the smooth sounds of their intergalactic b$&lshit train cause you to question your very existence. Sam talks Bro Code. Ryan needs an Uber Piss. And what the f&$k is “butt to butt”? Find out in this episode of BNR. Oh, and the boys hate some cute ideas to help you preserve your family’s legacy. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this 100th episode responsibly! Remember: "Do not go gentle into that ...

In this historic 100th episode episode, Ryan finally admits to his long-lasting crush on Sam who can't recall if he left his balls out to defrost or not. Meanwhile, Ryan contemplates one last ditch effort at selling his body parts on the interwebs before dazzling us with another Top Ten List of Cars to Buy in 2024. Other topics include: baby exoskeletons, water cremation, human taxidermy, and the dream that kept Ryan awake. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this 100th episode responsibly!...

Ryan explains what a menace he was as a teen (and still is) and Sam gives arguably the greatest marriage advice every husband needs to hear. We also get to the bottom of Ryan's bad haircut, why dental hygienists ask so many questions, and finally, Ryan shares Top Ten Reasons Sam Can't Own a Cat. #Meow Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dy...

Sam and Ryan's investigative reporting expose a Coca Cola Cow Connection that may be at the heart of the obesity and diabetes epidemic in the US, so their logical next step is to look for ways to exploit cattle for their own gain. We also learn about Ryan's crippling fear of heights, who would be assassinated first, and how Joe, as a a dairy DJ, gets cows crunk. The boyz of Burn & Rave also settle the ancient argument over what's better: meatballs or meatloaf? They also discuss Sam's h...

Did you know Bo Jackson saved Ryan's life, dolphins prefer manual stimulation, and apologies are not as hard as you think to give? In this groundbreaking new episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan explains bumps and rails, they choose their favorite beans for National Bean Day, and they invent archery bowling. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying o...

Some people have eyes in the back of their heads, but the boys at Burn and Rave propose a new and better set of eyeballs in a much more strategic place, and they meticulously outline the plans and possibilities of making it happen. In addition, Ryan teaches Sam something he wishes he never learned and they discuss ways to elevate your dogs intelligence while decreasing your own. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night,...

In this long-awaited new episode, the geniuses at Burn & Rave invent Tent Pants (TM/COPYRIGHT) and Cat Hats (ALSO, DON"T STEAL OUR IDEAS, ELON!) In politics, we solve the world's geopolitical crisis with our new venture Burnouts for Borders, a non-profit, border security company. In science news, Ryan explains the Earth's rotation and Sam explains why his mom is dizzy. Also, Ryan learns how to send an email in our new segment: Corporate Doozies and Don'ts. Tune in, vibe out, share, a...

In this episode of Burn & Rave, Sam explains ekphrastic poetry and the boys reveal some performance tips that could help you win the next poetry prize! Additionally, these geniuses discuss the world of horses, Ryan's nasal period, and Sam introduces Ryan to Chapstick. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank yo...

The Burn and Rave boys discuss old-age ailments and the dark, anti-Christian symbolism that recur in iconic songs. (Spoiler Alert: Melissa Etheridge and Led Zeppelin are cancelled.) Sam also shares cannibal haiku and they discuss their *award-winning human recycling initiative. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your t...

In this quintessential episode of Burn and Rave, we learn why Ryan's favorite teacher was his favorite teacher. (Hint: It's not what you think. It's worse.) We also learn about narcissistic parenting and why Sam is always wrong. Also, Ryan has a plan to eliminate deadbeat dads through his non-profit Chud Kids program. Meanwhile, Sam gets invited to a pineapple party. Let the games begin. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into ...

The Burn and Rave crew breaks down their need for a lot more sax, they engage in a messy joke off, and Ryan explains why he loves the slow lane. Sam explains his biggest flex while Ryan finally learns to flex his kegel. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank you letters, fan mail, media awards, or sick burns to b...

Listen, just don't tell anyone. In this episode, Ryan and Sam discuss reverse heightism, Ryan's rabid dog, shark baby hybrids, dog paternity tests, and Sam's near death experience (as well as being hit on by a GILF) at his favorite watering hole. Ryan also won't STFU about his Tonka truck, and they offer a bulletproof way to decrease crime and car jackings. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should...

In this women-themed episode, Sam learns about lesbians and the fact that some women actually do stink. Meanwhile, Ryan invents a feminine hygiene product for dinosaur lovers. Also, the boys of Burn and Rave examine the gang epidemic in America and devise a way to decrease gun violence. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send...

In this episode, the boys of Burn & Rave invent a full-proof sexual assault prevention device. Ryan survives Disneyland. DUIs vs IUDs are explained, and we learn that Sam is unable to perform jury duty. The rest is censored. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank you letters, fan mail, media awards, or sick bu...

In this earth-shattering episode, Sam and Ryan breakdown the Lizzo story and get to the banana of things. In the science portion of the show, Ryan explains what happens when male genitalia is removed. Sam has different ideas. Also in this episode . . . Do dogs make good dental hygienists?Do bad people smell worse than good people?Is bowling the new math ? Inquiring minds like mine want to know! Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not...

In this food friendly episode, the boys of Burn and Rave breakdown menu frustration, front butt smuggling, and the problem with Mountain Mike's pizza. They also crack the code . . . and it's 867-5309. In other news, Sam has a "cure" for Parkinsons and Ryan wants Pimp Ass Fries. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send ...

Sam and Ryan joke each other off in this all new episode. Other topics include: pizza rat, how to use an air fryer, Sam's gorgeous feet, peanut butter, and the 1% of wisdom Ryan imparts to his children. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank you letters, fan mail, media awards, or sick burns to burnandravepodcas...

Sam investigates Ryan's Google search history and Sam shares his list of the most hated people. They also invent BNR bouillon cubes. Available soon in our shop. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank you letters, fan mail, media awards, or sick burns to burnandravepodcast@gmail.com Follow us here: IG @burn...

Ryan got ripped off . . . or did he? Perhaps he invested in the greatest NES knockoff in the world. Tune in to decide. Additionally, in this episode, Ryan and Sam incubate a few new ideas: A Post-Mortem Firewood Company and Uber Hearses. They also discuss the Zen of Road Rage. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send yo...

Who's desecrating Burn & Rave HQ? What's causing Ryan's allergies? How much plastic are we allowed to safely consume? How does a can of whip cream turn into a deadly high? Who actually needs therapy? All of these question and more are answered in this deeply introspective and revelatory episode of the Burn and Rave podcast. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage,...

In this extra special episode, Ryan teaches Sam about old Chevy trucks and Sam teaches Ryan about using the gym. Parenting during the Covid era, the origins of the dinosaur hoax, and Ryan's numerous head injuries are also on the menu at this award-unwinning podcast diner, which is guaranteed to nourish you (or make you sick) on your long and windy road trip through life. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good n...

In this special parenting edition, Ryan and Sam debate who's the best baby swaddler and they break down the fundamental differences between Gen X (the best) and Gen Z (not the best) . Sam explains Gen Z speech to Ryan to help him better engage his offspring, and Ryan shares his extensive knowledge of the Zodiac. We also learn that Sam was recently attacked by a three-legged dog (that now has two legs left), and Ryan explains the BEST way to prevent such an attack in the future. Tune i...

In this emotionally vulnerable episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan unloads on Sam and then introduces him to the Barf Bag. Ryan also discusses the history of hot rods and where to get the best gow jobs. (Ryan likes cars.) Meanwhile, Sam explains human's energy pipelines and how to become superhuman. They also Shark Tank the idea of Ball Polishing Boutiques, and Sam tells a joke that he will probably regret. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do no...

Have you been sunning your perineum? The Burn and Rave boys suggest an even better way to get some Vitamin D deep inside your body. The health benefit are extraordinary. Additionally, Sam reveals his plans for a Shred Shed Kids' Club and it doesn't go well. Ryan got new shoes, a new urologist, and he reveals that he was a Punk Rock Janitor and his keys were the ultimate weapon, which he will need when the Fatwa comes down against him. Also, Goobers is life. Tune in, vibe out, share, and e...

Things you didn't know about Ryan: He was attacked by junipers, he's stuck a lot of things up his nose, and, most importantly, he is Honky Tonk Jesus. Sam explains the art of foley, how to create a meta-tattoo, and why the a-hole is the window to the soul. Meanwhile, Joe tiles igloos. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light."...

In this informative episode that's guaranteed to make you smarter, Ryan and Sam explore a new contracting business: "Diddler on the Roof," for all of your roofing needs and more. Additionally, Ryan explains blunts and shares some rock and roll irony while Sam explains the origin story of male contortionists. The two also debate whose blood is more enticing to vampires: Sam's or the guy who's filled with Mike & Ike's and exhaust fumes? Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode r...

Sam and Ryan use their artificial intelligence to test ChatGPT's actual intelligence by asking it to do our jobs and write a script for our award-winning podcast. Can AI do it better than us? Can AI last as long and give our audience the ear orgasms they have come to expect? Spoiler: It sure can and we will be unemployed soon. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day;...

In this episode, Sam tries to tell Ryan a story about a shot at LoFi Labs and it doesn't go well, but spoiler: it does come to a very satisfying end . . . eventually. So hang on tight. Detours include a trip to Worm Sommelier University and a lesson on how to handle peer pressure at 47. We explain how tequila is really made, and sadly we learn that Ryan was whataped? To help spread awareness and to help stop the virus of unwanted man-on-man massages, we explain the difference between...

You may have heard of Flat Earthers, but have you heard of Flat Assers? Ryan is a charter member. On this episode of the award-winning Burn & Rave podcast, Sam explains the importance of butter and bread in bed, the boys get to the bottom of the Bottom's Up Coffee Shop empire, and in their theology segment they discuss the origins of man, Adam and (St)Eve. In local news, the BNR geniuses debate the merits of Hustler Hollywood vs. Modesto Suzie's, and they explain the singular mo...

In this rain-soaked episode, we learn that Ryan is the real My Pillow guy and quite possibly the world's most competitive serial killer. He hates lawn tractors, Sam's hot dog d*ck pillows, and apparently everyone around him, but has Ryan gone too far this time? Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank y...

We've created a party in our pants, and you're all coming! In this long-awaited, brand spanking new episode of the Burn and Rave podcast, we invent competitive hitchhiking and Sam saves Kanye's reputation. Ryan helps Sam understand the emotional significance of snot rockets and covalent bonds while Sam extols the virtues of exhuming bodies for their implants. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age shoul...

In this fascinating new episode, we learn that Ryan has tinnitus and malfunctioning glutes, but Sam is just the doctor he needs. Also, the new BNR studio drapes double as a Rorschach test and Ryan fails (or passes). We aren't really psychiatrists, so you can decide. Ryan opens the mail bag and reads a fan post. Meanwhile, Sam opens the male brag and explains periods and margins. We also learn that Sam's family plays hopscotch on Ryan's blood and Ol' McDonald is a rapper, but not near...

In this week's episode we are joined by a very special guest: DJ Psuno, Crush Con, Tile Guy and Certified GILF: Joe, the Sound Guy! In this groundbreaking new episode, the boys of BNR discuss Ryan's pet anaconda, why Sam's mom hates Ryan, the difference between Cat Stevens vs. Yusef Islam, and the difference between John Holmes and somebody named John Hughes. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn ...

Sam and Ryan discuss their non-invitation to the wedding of the century, Ryan joins a women's gym, and Sam has a plan to get homeless people paid! In this week's Culture & Technology segment, the boyz of Burn & Rave explore gay cowboys, "Collar Cams" for cats and dogs, and a fool-proof way to stop your neighbor's dog from barking. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at clo...

Need a side hustle? The boys of Burn & Rave have a plan that pays. Additionally, they reveal the sad truth about Sally and her seashells. In pirate news, Sam explains the synergy between pirates and parrots and Ryan reveals why eye patches were a myth. And if you're ever involved in a cannibal apocalypse, better listen to this episode for survival tips. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn...

Sam unloads on Ryan in this frantic new episode wherein two children who identify as men rave about such things as where Ryan derives his artistic inspiration, why dentists are not allowed in elite country clubs, and how much partying is too little partying (after 40). P.s. Please don't judge us by the size of our podcast. This one is short, but very satisfying. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should bu...

In this star-studded episode of studs who think they are stars, Ryan and Sam debate The Simpsons vs. Futurama. Ryan solves homelessness with an absolutely brilliant plan, and Sam invents a red-light, green-light dating app that will revolutionize dating culture forever. We also learn about Ryan's obsession with Martha Stewart's box and why Sam needs to buy a Smart Car. #BDE Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night,...

In this episode of the award-winning Burn & Rave podcast, you will learn about the following: How to Get RichEpileptic Police OfficersCalifornia vs. The WorldRyan's FearsThe Benefits of Riboflavin The Power of BeetsHooker Startup IndustryThe Joys of Micro-ManagementWe use the term "learn" loosely. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dyin...

In this provocative new episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan and Sam cure migraines, breakdown gay geography, and they finally explain why everyone runs away from Ryan at Home Depot. They also reinvent self-stimulation through puppetry, and peppered throughout this doozy of an episode is a lot of heart, a lot of inspiration, and a lot of laughs or your money back! Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age...

What do John Wayne Bobbit & Joey Buttafuoco have in common? They're both on the show. Well, not on the show, but we discuss their trials, tribulations, and severed genitals. Also, we discuss National Geographic's monopoly on animal pornography and how we can tap that market (not the animals). Sam invents an app for NDA agreements while Ryan gets deep in his feelings and expresses his love for Sam, which is why he needs to fill out an NDA soon. Things get weird on this one. We may have al...

In this highly anticipated, ground-breaking, historic new episode, Ryan and Sam discuss the ongoing competition between them and their better halves. Also, Ryan talks a bit about his mothertruckin' lot lizard fetishes. Additionally, Sam explains how to be sexually attractive to women, and possibly men. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of...

We are back from our Covid hiatus! Thank you for your patience! In this brilliant new episode, we discuss Covid conspiracy theories, Flash Gordon, women drivers and what Ryan saw as a truck driver. We also break down our competitive edges and Ryan's edge is sharp enough to injure loved ones. Meanwhile, Sam crushes his son in a Father/Son swim competition. We also get really deep and channel our conscious energy and break down how to live better and more fully. Tune in, vibe o...

In this brilliant new episode, Sam explains the old concept of "bros before hoes" to Ryan, and Ryan explains his love of Disney's Frozen. Additionally, they explore the subtle difference between and slap and a spank, Class A vs Class C licenses, sliding down Powell Street in San Francisco, wife seduction, and they miraculously solve both the prison and homeless problem with one brilliant idea. Oh yeah, they also make Hot Tub Stew . . . and Joe is cooking. Tune in, vibe out, share, and en...

Please enjoy another bonus (but unfortunately Joeless) episode of "The ILLiterists," a Burn & Rave production that shows a more literary side of Ryan, the mechanic, and Sam, the professor. In each episode, they share original writing, then discuss the influence and impact of each piece. The goal of this show is to inspire more creative writing, spiritual wellness, and to create a deeper connection with our audience and each other, but we may slip in a butt joke or two. In this case, we sl...

As the country wars over reproductive rights and chaos ensues overseas, the boys of Burn and Rave are compelled to discuss all the hot topics like anchovies, jock pockets (sports bras for men) and swinger parties. In addition, they discuss the very large package of meat they received. Sam and Ryan write spontaneous haiku and Ryan got a haircut . . . but it's not that super. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night,...

Please enjoy this bi-weekly bonus but unfortunately Joeless premiere episode of "The ILLiterists," a Burn & Rave production that shows a softer and more literary side of Ryan, the mechanic, and Sam, the professor. In each episode, they share short literary, dare we say, Pulitzer-Prize worthy works they wrote and discuss the influence and impact of each piece. The goal of this show is to inspire more creative writing, spiritual wellness, and to create a deeper connection with...

Look out, San Francisco! You just stepped into the Burn & Rave podcast (and probably in a pile of crap too. Let's be honest.) but don't worry, we have figured out how to monetize your poop problem! In this scholarly episode, Ryan shares his secret to stellar vocal warm ups and Sam explains the phallic and yonic imagery in society. BREAKING NEWS: We also learn that Ryan is a major Spice Girls fan! The boyz engage in a joke battle, and fireworks ensue as they expose their political views....

In this chocolate-covered episode, Ryan and Sam debate the definition of "sandwich" when Ryan doesn't accept the deliciousness of Sam's dessert sensation. They also invent the "Fart Flute," a genius invention for untimely gas, and Sam breaks down Gen Z and his family's "promposal" ritual to Ryan who can't fathom such a thing. Things get personal in this one. Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn...

Is Green Warfare possible? The boyz of Burn & Rave believe their idea for sustainable bullets needs Pentagon eyes on it ASAP. Also, in this episode, we learn the origins of gynecology, Ryan accumulates too much saliva and blood at the dentist, and Schwan's trucks need to be rebranded for the 21st century. Also, Sam breaks the (gl)ass ceiling and they introduce the ILLliterists to the world. We hope you're ready! Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Rem...

Sam: "What's this episode about again?" Joe: "It’s about why Sam is tastier than Ryan to a Cannibal, Sam and Ryan decide on selling their pickles. Ryan promotes the boxed grocery trend while Sam tries to expose Ryan to middle eastern cuisine. P.s. Don’t let you mother in law hear what you said about her chickpeas." Ryan: "What episode? We have a podcast?" Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and ...

In this ridiculous new episode of the Burn and Rave podcast, Sam, the professor, explains key differences between White & Brown culture while Ryan, the mechanic, explains why he spent so much time in the C.U.M. Room. Together they invent Bouncer Babysitters, a daycare for on-the-go alcoholic moms, and Ryan explains who The Who is to Sam while Sam explains what The Who is really saying to Ryan. Who will win this epic debate? Tune in, vibe out, share, and enjoy this episode responsi...

Look, we don't know what we're doing, so this episode went off the rails somewhere between Monkey Town, where Ryan is king, obviously, and Sam inventing Dog Fit, a CrossFit Canine Therapy and Fitness Center for Near-Death Dogs. Sam also tries to convince Ryan to get a massage, but Ryan is convinced Sam is having an affair. Things get tense on this all-new episode of BNR! Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old ag...

Originally entitled "Leggings, Jeggings, and Ryan Pegging," this brand new episode features a peek into the life of a trucker's DM, information on the sweets and meats diet that is taking over the 209, and Ryan explains why his family feeds him dog treats. In mind-blowing news, Ryan thinks XYZ means something and Sam does not. We need your help to settle this debate. And in the world of crime and sexism, Sam and Ryan have found a way to decrease sexual assault in America, and they have cl...

In this episode, Ryan and Sam find common ground in their ability to personify and mathematicians are pitted against poets in a battle royale. Meanwhile, Ryan reviews poetry slams and Sam explains how easily he can bankrupt Ryan. In science, Ryan breaks down the truth behind hummingbirds while Sam explains how to levitate. Also, Ryan educates listeners about what happens to snitches. Spoiler: It doesn't end well. In other news, Joe hasn't cleaned the studio in months. Tune in, vib...

Will Ryan be replaced? He seems to think so after Sam's TikTok post goes viral. Also, we learn that Ryan likes encyclopedias and garters, which confuses Sam, but Sam is easily confused. In bromance news, we learn how Joe finally met Ryan, and we discuss swingers and the ethical line between paying to make adult films (legal) and adults paying other adults to do the things they see in those films (illegal). If it's riveting, titillating, and agitating, it's probably crabs, or, with some luc...

Do you know what happens to snitches? Did you know that clouds are really the souls of dinosaurs? The boys of Burn and Rave ponder the science of snitching, paleontology, and they invent a potion that is so potent, it may be banned. (I bet you can already guess the secret ingredient.) Meanwhile, in Hollywood news, Sam and Ryan explain the new rules for getting starring film roles, draft the perfect flugtag, and invent audio Simon says, a fun game for the whole family. Tune in, vibe o...

In this brand new episode of Burn and Rave, Ryan explains his dogs' g-spots while Sam confesses his sins while playing a game of billiards at a local tavern. In other news, Ryan reveals that he loathes a new breed of mosquitoes, despises gin (and anyone who drinks it), hates motorhomes, and is deeply disturbed by Sam's Boob Visor idea. Also, they learn how to communicate better and how to suppress their emotions like real men. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly....

The Burn and Rave boys pitch two brilliant, Shark-Tank level ideas for Adventure Funerals and weaponizing corpses. (We hope the Pentagon is tuning in.) Sam also drops some award-winning haiku (Remember: He was a poet laureate) and Ryan reveals his Van-Gogh talents. They also solve racism and sexism in under an hour. (P.s. Sam also needs Ryan to help him lie to a friend who he hopes is not listening. Bird is the word.) Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remembe...

We are probably going to be writing a number of apology letters to a few of you after this episode. Not sure how it happened (again), but Ryan and Sam went off the rails. They somehow manage to defend beastiality, monetize punishment for pedophiles, and increase revenue at Walmart through their wedding services. Also, Ryan, we learn, really likes cats and Sam thinks a homophone refers to a word that is gay. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go...

It's our ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY! Joe surprised us all with a clip show and call-ins from listeners, including Ryan's wife and Sam's four wives! This show emboldens, inspires, motivates, and worst of all, enables Ryan and Sam to continue sharing their brilliance with the world. This surprise anniversary show also proves that Joe is a mighty talented genius of epic proportions. (That's not a joke about his weight.) Dude is legitimately an epic MFer. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy t...

In this brand spanking new episode of the incomparable, award-not-winning podcast, Sam give Ryan a behind-the-scenes tour of Sam's appearance on another podcast, which really is a form of cheating. Ryan's finger gets him in trouble again, and the men of Burn & Rave help listeners channel their anxiety into excitement. They also create the OTP: Objective Truth Party, a new political party where truth and fairness are key doctrines. Oh yeah, and Sam cries again as he explains epididymal h...

On this episode, the boys of Burn & Rave solve the Covid vaccine problem with a new testing option, help you cheat in the beer mile, and put the homeless to work as gasoline entrepreneurs. Things get weird when Sam cries (*again) and brings up his children and Walt Whitman, but as always, Ryan is there to dry his tears with a tissue attached to a torque wrench. P.s. The secret word is "Squirt." Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go ...

Sam needs help with an ethical dilemma and Ryan is just the well-trained philosopher and mechanic to advise him. Also, Sam explains "thirst traps" to Ryan and Ryan explains what's inside Sam's DMs. Inventions include Murder AirBnB, ShitFit, and Gummi Bear Steroids. They also get lost on a Centaur tangent that will likely get them banned. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave ...

In this brilliant new episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan and Sam finally come clean about their encounter with a homeless man. Sam rides in the fastest car on the planet and discloses the perks and pitfalls of having wealthy friends. We learn that Ryan doesn't like to be touched, and he invents the perfect dinnerware for fast-paced families. P.s. Sam drinks Ryan's milkshake. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good ...

Ryan wreaks havoc in San Francisco in a semi-truck, proselytizes, and defends ugly dogs (and people). Meanwhile, Sam can't believe what's happening in parking lots post-Covid, has a plan to boost homeless employment, and tricks Ryan into being his mannequin. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank you l...

Things get personal in this episode as Ryan and Sam share some bad-dad stories and disclose their need to relax. But also . . . aren't starfishes really just the buttholes of the sea? Ryan explains his Goo Gone addiction and Sam reveals his second job: Internet Troll. Things are getting kind of serious. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the ...

In this episode, Sam goes to Hollywood and we learn that Ryan was a bully, and a very good one at that. In science, the geniuses at Burn & Rave invent a new app for wives to control their husbands' outbursts, and they explore reproductive vs. recreational organs. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light." Send your thank ...

Because we are the most honest and transparent podcast on earth, which is why you love us, let me (Sam) be frank: I have no f*cking idea what this new episode is about. Joe just texted me and said it'll be done in half an hour, and I have no idea what it's about because we recorded it weeks ago, and I have had multiple concussions since. I would ask Ryan if he remembers, but Ryan can't remember what happened 5 minutes ago. So your guess is as good as mine. I bet we talk about butts someho...

We are back with a brand new episode! (Thank you, Joe!!) Fatherhood takes centerstage as we tip our hats to our graduating offspring. We trade Hawaii stories and we begin to finally understand each other. Also, in pop culture news, we conduct a social experiment involving phallic tattoos, discuss cosplay breeding, and most importantly, the utterly macho men behind the mics provide tips for vanquishing your enemies and stealing every drop of their pride. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjo...

(This is a rerun of a previous episode. Listen to the beginning and you will understand why.) P.s. This show was chosen as it represents a pivotal episode in the evolution (or devolution) of the podcast. Once you talk about zombie vibrators, there's really no turning back. Thank you for sticking around after this! We deeply appreciate your support. RECAP: In their enlightened state, the Burn and Rave boys recognize that their juvenile, below-the-equator, testicular humor may not be ...

In this inspirational new episode, Sam reveals his inner envy, Ryan demonstrates tremendous sphincter control and explains how easy it us to put a nail through one's nose. Also, in this special pets’ edition, Sam encounters a dog with a greeting fit for all humans, Ryan has a problem with cats, and somehow they also invent sperm bullets. Hang on to your brain cells. This ride may knock them loose. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go g...

What do you get when you combine flan with baklava? Find out on this special food episode of Burn & Rave. From human cracklin' to fusion desserts, fortune cookies, and robot delivery to solve the hunger crisis. Also, Ryan and Sam teach men how to play dead for a good cause, uncover medical school games your doctor doesn't want you to know about, and attempt to save the world yet again in another monumentally brilliant episode of the Burn and Rave Podcast. Tune in, vibe out, and ...

In this Grammy-not-nominated episode, Sam comes out as bicepual and the boys explore ways to make Texas a little tougher. In fitness news, Sam considers a record-breaking breath-holding challenge, and for our entrepreneurial audience, Ryan and Sam contemplate the right to sell body parts, the high value of Sam's ashes, and Ryan's quick car wash funeral service. Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should&nb...

In this highly anticipated, ground-breaking, and mind-expanding episode, Ryan and Sam create a ninja toy for nerds and discuss the efficiency of using Ryan as a human shield. We also learn that Ryan is probably a Merman while Sam remains haunted by his vertically challenged life. And in science this week, Ryan and Sam invent a sub-car for families looking to explore the ocean in their mini-vans (Get on that, Elon!) and they expose the secret oils to use for bigger biceps. They also tal...

In this brilliant new episode, we finally get to the bottom of Ryan's backdoor problems (because of course we do). Also, the geniuses at Burn & Rave reveal the truth behind Slim Jims, hot dog farming, and the controversy surrounding Satan and that Lil Nas X fellow. In current events, Ryan and Sam debate the pros and cons of a nearby 7-11, opera as a homeless deterrent, and the deliciousness of Sam Salad . Tune in, vibe out, and please enjoy this episode responsibly. Remembe...

Another week, another record-breaking episode of Burn & Rave! The boys invent an app to support fatherhood and Ryan demonstrates why he's a superior husband. Hint: Chocolate. And in a world of crypto, Apple Pay, and Square, Ryan and Sam invent a currency and a way for men to pay the check . . . every single time. (They will continue to work on a version 2.0 for the ladies.) Also, can a woman be president? And have the men of Burn and Rave told their last butt joke? Tune in, vib...

On this brilliant new episode of the world-(in)famous BURN & RAVE podcast, Ryan and Sam extol the virtues of fan-created art as well as discuss their growing Arab and Muslim fanbase. They also get to the bottom of Ryan's colonoscopy, pun intended, and they discuss the downside of suicide bombing (Hint: The virgins may not be virgins. Also, this may result in injury.) And in this week's CEREAL TALK, Ryan and Sam explore how raisins escape the box and how Cap'n Crunch Crunch Berries ...

You've waited all week to finally learn how Ryan maintains his girlish figure and why we need quick-poopin pants. Well, the anticipation is over. In this brilliant new BURN & RAVE episode, Ryan and Sam discuss Mozart's influence on the developing baby brain, puberty-themed podcasts, and very affluent chickens. We also discover that Ryan is all natural in surprising places and Sam's stellar intellect is on the decline. Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remem...

In this episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan and Sam discuss the state of comedy in America, reach arounds, high fructose corn syrup, half price haircuts for balding men, and Joe and his Demon Balls! Also, Ryan explains Tokyo Drifting with Taco Bell trays. (That's a real thing, but please don't try this at home (or away)). Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dyi...

We were not supposed to air this episode, but if you're going to be indoctrinated, then you might as well be aware of it. So in this episode, we explain our devious plan. Ryan and Sam also break down fitness and dieting into unmanageable parts, share stories of their canine heroism, and plan the world's first post-Covid antibacterial foam party! And everyone is invited! Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should ...

What does Al Pacino and Sam's maternal grandma have in common? Find out in this episode of Burn & Rave! Discussions include the importance of hearing and the benefits of hearing loss. Sam explains the downside of muscles and Covid vaccines while Ryan extols the virtues of his big veins. Also, Joe gets a promotion! And the boys invent hair bags, a recyclable and environmentally safe alternative to air bags. Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remember: "Do not g...

In this historic episode, Ryan explains global warming in the most scientific way possible, and it's all your fault, while Sam helps demonstrate the most advanced wrestling move in the history of the sport. (Use with caution). We also learn that Ryan may drink gas, Ikea leads to heart attacks, and HGTV needs to combine some shows. 1000lb Hoarders? Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of da...

What do coconuts, the French, cereal, torque wrenches, cheese balls, and mobile brothels have in common? They all somehow come up in this new episode of Burn and Rave. Sam also recounts his charity run for students as Ryan explores the money-making potential of a unique, low-budget planetarium idea. (Black lights required). Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage aga...

Ryan turns personal trainer and helps Sam work out his eyeballs. The boys also ponder the usefulness of cat filters and the law, explore the merits of Valentine's Day, and research the efficacy of a potential pregnancy study. Energy sources and mindfulness are also discussed as Ryan and Sam burn and rave at close of day! P.s. This podcast is gonna get drunk because it turns 21 today! Thanks you for partying with us! Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remember: "Do n...

Did you know the human body is mostly made of water or that Ryan fights with refrigerators or that alligators may be the most overlooked domestic pets? In this award-not-winning 20th episode of Burn & Rave, the boys ponder the subjects of anger and maturity and invent a Segway for land and sea. Someone is gonna make a million dollars from this podcast . . . and it probably won't be the creators! Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remember: "Do not go g...

In this episode of Burn & Rave, Ryan out-Kutcher's Ashton as he explores an epic prank (that needs to happen) and Sam cries (not about the prank). He's doing a big run for students and he gets all in the feels. Ryan soothes him. The whole thing is very awkward actually. There's also a small dose of ethics, a large dose of humor, and a pinch of Joe's sound in every delicious bite. Please enjoy this episode responsibly, and always remember: "Do not go gentle into that good night,...