Sari Swears

Are you spending your entire voir dire trying to figure out which jurors to kick off your case? You might be hurting your case before trial even begins.

In this episode of Sari Swears, Sari de la Motte breaks down seven reasons why exclusionary voir dire is limiting your case, from legitimizing defense arguments and creating a fear-based mindset to missing the opportunity to build a team with your jurors.

Listen in as Sari explains why focusing on who you want to exclude gives the defense unnecessary airtime, undermines your trial story, and keeps you from using a principle-centered approach to voir dire.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Legitimizing Defense Arguments: How exclusionary voir dire gives the defense valuable airtime before trial even begins.

The Fear-Based Mindset: Why approaching jurors as potential enemies prevents you from building trust and taking risks.

Protecting Your Trial Story: How focusing on defense points keeps you from putting your own story and principles first.

Building Your Jury Team: Why searching for your people is more effective than simply eliminating the jurors you don't want.

🏛️ Ready to get on your feet and workshop your opening statement? Claim a seat at our small-group Command the Courtroom Masterclass: https://sariswears.com/opening

⭐ Enjoying the podcast? Hit Subscribe and leave us a 5-star review!

Welcome to the premiere of Season 9 of the Sari Swears podcast! In this episode, Sari returns from a 12-week sabbatical to break down why trial law is inherently a creative profession—and why taking an extended break is essential for avoiding burnout and restoring your courtroom presence.

Listen in as Sari breaks down the difference between a vacation and a "rest and restore" sabbatical, the mistakes she made, and how trial lawyers who own their practices can train their teams to run without them.

In this episode, you'll learn:

Signs of Burnout in Trial Law: How physical symptoms and creative blocks indicate you need an extended break.

The Anatomy of a Sabbatical: What a "rest and restore" sabbatical is (and why it is NOT a time to catch up on work).

Gentle Goal Setting: How to set boundaries, build alone time, and calm your nervous system.

How to Prep Your Law Firm: Step-by-step guidance on non-working vacations, team delegation, and stepping away from micromanagement.

🏛️ Ready to get on your feet and workshop your opening statement? Claim a seat at our small-group Command the Courtroom Masterclass: https://sariswears.com/opening

⭐ Enjoying the podcast? Hit Subscribe and leave us a 5-star review!

Can being too kind to yourself hold you back from achieving your goals? In this episode of Sari Swears, Sari de la Motte dismantles the toxic myth that trial lawyers must rely on self-criticism, fear, and burnout to succeed.

Grounded in the behavioral science behind James Clear's Atomic Habits, Sari explains why the human brain is wired to respond to joy, desire, and rewards—not self-punishment.

In this episode, you'll learn:

The Motivation Myth: Why self-flagellation is the exact opposite of what creates sustainable personal growth.

The Science of Habit Formation: How cues, cravings, and rewards drive real change far more effectively than force.

Self-Love in High-Stakes Law: How shifting from fear to self-acceptance allows you to build a successful trial practice without sacrificing your well-being.

Resources & Links:

🏛️ Transform your trial results at the Command the Courtroom Masterclass: https://sariswears.com/masterclass

⭐ Enjoying the podcast? Leave a 5-star review wherever you listen!

Struggling with employees, paralegals, or associates who aren't doing things the way you told them to? In this episode of Sari Swears, Sari de la Motte breaks down the secret to delegating effectively so you can step out of the daily administrative grind and into your Zone of Genius.

If you want your firm to run smoothly—even when you're on vacation or preparing for a trial—it comes down to one simple rule: Write it the fuck down.

Listen to today's encore episode to learn:

The 3 reasons documenting your firm's processes will cut your meetings in half and save your sanity.

Front Stage vs. Back Stage: How to map out every single client touchpoint and internal task.

The simple framework to instantly know if a mistake was caused by a bad process or the wrong person.

Resources mentioned:

FREE TRIAL SKILLS TRAINING → sariswears.com/free

This is my fifth and final episode before Sari returns, and I'm leaving you with a topic that completely changed my life: manifestation.

I used to think it was complete bullshit, too. But it's not magic—it's neuroscience, awareness, and getting out of your own way.

In this last episode, I break down:

Thank you for hanging out with me this summer. It's been an honor, and I hope these conversations challenged you to think differently—about your cases, and about yourself.

Until next time,

Coach K

If you'd like to explore some of the resources I mentioned in the episode, I've included links below.

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks – Learn how to identify and overcome the "Upper Limit Problem"—the subconscious beliefs and self-sabotaging behaviors that keep you from reaching your full potential.

The Power of Consistency by Weldon Long – A practical guide to creating lasting success through daily habits, intentional action, and a clear vision for the life you want to build.

Anxiety is something almost every trial attorney deals with.

The problem is, most of us just push through it.

We tell ourselves it's part of the job. That the constant overthinking, worst-case scenarios, and pressure are just what it takes to be successful. I used to believe that too.

In this week's podcast, I share my own journey with anxiety, what I've learned coaching trial attorneys through it, and the practices that have helped me stop letting anxiety drive the bus.

In this episode, I cover:

You don't have to wait until you're burned out or overwhelmed to make a change.

Sometimes the biggest shift comes from slowing down long enough to realize you have a choice.

See you next week, Coach K

If you'd like to explore some of the resources I mentioned in the episode, I've included links below.

Calm the Chaos Cards – A deck of simple prompts and practices designed to reduce stress, calm your nervous system, and bring more mindfulness into your day.

Anxiety: A philosophical guide by Samir Chopra – A refreshing perspective on anxiety that encourages you to step outside your thoughts instead of being consumed by them.

Power of now by Ekhart Tolle– A modern classic on mindfulness and presence. Tolle teaches practical ways to quiet the constant mental chatter, observe your thoughts without judgment, and stay grounded in the present moment.

Quote:

"Anxiety isn't something you eliminate. It's something you learn to be with. And when you stop letting it drive the bus, it can become one of your greatest strengths."

Coach K

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

As trial attorneys, you spend your days carrying other people's burdens.

But who's taking care of you, Friend?

In this week's podcast, I share the daily spiritual practice that helped me recover from burnout, process secondary trauma, and show up as a better coach, husband, and human.

And before you skip this one because of the word spiritual, I'm not talking about religion. I'm talking about creating a simple daily practice that helps you reconnect with yourself before you spend the rest of your day serving everyone else.

In this episode, I cover:

Why burnout happens even when you love what you do

How breathing, affirmations, and gratitude help reset your nervous system

Why putting your oxygen mask on first makes you a better trial attorney

You don't need an hour. Just a few intentional minutes each day can make all the difference.

See you next week, Coach K

If you'd like to explore some of the tools I use in my own daily spiritual practice, I've included links to a few of my favorites below.

Calm the Chaos Cards – A deck of simple prompts and practices designed to reduce stress, calm your nervous system, and bring more mindfulness into your day.

AWAKE: Inner Wisdom Cards – A reflection deck that encourages self-awareness, journaling, and deeper personal insight through daily prompts.

Crystal Singing Sound Bowl – One of my favorite tools for slowing down, regulating my nervous system, and creating a moment of calm before the day begins or ends.

Quote:

"The best trial attorneys make time for themselves first. They charge their own batteries so they can show up as the best version of themselves for their clients. Putting your oxygen mask on first isn't selfish—it's essential." - Coach K

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

If you're like most trial attorneys I work with, you've probably told yourself, "I just need to prepare more."

Preparation matters, but what if the thing that's actually missing isn't another hour at your desk?

What if it's play?

In this week's podcast, I talk about why creativity doesn't come from grinding harder.

I share why:

If you've been feeling overwhelmed, mentally blocked, or like you're working harder without getting better results, I think this conversation will resonate.

Give it a listen, and then ask yourself one question: When was the last time you intentionally made space for play?

Love, Kevin

Quote:

"Don't get me wrong, preparation's important. But what if your preparation was more playful? What if your preparation was more playful and it fueled creativity in your work? That's what we want to get to. Being able to get on your feet, be playful, and get creative while you're preparing."

Coach K

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

If you've been listening to the podcast for a while, you probably know me as Coach K. While Sari is taking a well-deserved sabbatical, I'll be stepping in each week to share some of the mindset work I do with trial attorneys every day.

If we haven't met yet, I'm Kevin de la Motte, mindset coach here at H2H. This week's episode is about something I see constantly with attorneys: Overwhelm.

Not the kind that comes from having too much on your calendar. The kind that seems to follow you everywhere, even when you finally cross things off your list.

Here's the surprising part: Most overwhelm isn't created by your workload.

It's created by your brain's survival instinct.

In this episode, I walk through:

If you've been feeling like you're constantly pushing through, I think this episode will give you a different way to approach it.

See you next week, Coach K

Resources:

Listen to the Two Windows Visualization and download the Four Square Breathing Exercise worksheet that I referenced throughout the episode.

If you'd like to dive deeper, I also highly recommend the two books that inspired much of this conversation:

Your Survival Instinct Is Killing You by Marc Schoen Don't Believe Everything You Think by Joseph Nguyen

Quote:

"The goal isn't to eliminate discomfort. It's to stop letting discomfort make your decisions. When you slow down, calm your nervous system, and choose thoughts that serve you instead of reacting from fear, you become a better trial lawyer—and a better human being."

Coach K

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Ever feel like you're carrying around a heaviness you can't quite explain?

Maybe you're exhausted, distracted, or constantly thinking about something that happened months or even years ago. Maybe you can't figure out why it's so hard to move forward.

This week's podcast might explain it.

Coach K and I are talking about something we don't do very well as humans: completion.

We rush from one thing to the next. We don't celebrate our wins. We avoid difficult endings. We leave conversations unfinished. We never fully process losses, transitions, or even really great moments.

And then we wonder why we feel stuck.

In this episode, we talk about:

Listen to the episode and let me know what comes up for you.

Love, Sari

Quote:

"If you're feeling heavy and if you're feeling stuck, you might look at what is left incomplete in your life. Because if you go back and start intentionally completing those things, you're going to start feeling lighter right away."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Most lawyers would have taken the $400,000…

The plaintiff had healed. No surgery. Relatively modest medical bills. Plenty of risk heading into trial.

But attorney Matthew Wilson saw something bigger.

In this episode of Sari Swears, Matthew breaks down how he turned down the highest offer in the case, took it to verdict, and watched a jury return $1.8 million.

More importantly, he shares what changed his approach in the courtroom.

For years, voir dire was the part of trial that terrified him most. Then he started doing something different—having real conversations with jurors instead of relying on the same old script.

In this episode, you'll hear:

And perhaps the most powerful part of the story isn't the verdict itself. 😉

Love, Sari

Today marks five years since the day I learned there was no more cancer in my body.

It's a milestone that means more to me than I can put into words.

In this week's podcast episode, I'm sharing the full story—from the diagnosis that changed everything, to the moments I was certain I couldn't do it, to the people who carried me through when I couldn't carry myself.

It's a story about hope, gratitude, and what it means to keep going when you don't know how the story ends.

If you've ever walked through a hard season—or loved someone who has—I hope you'll listen. 💖 Love, Sari

Quote: "There were many times during treatment when I would look at Kevin and say, 'Tell me how it goes.' I needed him to tell me the story of a future I couldn't see for myself. And every time, he would paint a picture of survival, healing, and getting our life back."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

One of the most common mistakes I see attorneys make in voir dire is unintentionally putting jurors in the wrong seat.

When jurors answer your questions, they're automatically imagining themselves in that situation—and their brains are looking for ways they would have avoided the outcome.

That's not because they're against you.

It's because that's how people are wired.

In this week's podcast, I break down:

It's a simple concept that can completely change the answers you get in voir dire.

Love, Sari

P.S. If you're ready to go deeper on voir dire, join me June 17–18 in Portland for my live Voir Dire Masterclass. We'll workshop your actual case, build stronger funnels, and help you avoid the common mistakes that can derail jury selection. → Grab Your Seat NOW: https://sariswears.com/voir-dire

Quote: "When jurors hear a story involving danger, their brains automatically place themselves into that situation and start looking for all the ways they would have avoided the outcome. That's not because they're against you. It's because that's exactly how the human brain is designed to work."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

You want the breakthrough.

You want the next level.

What if the thing keeping you stuck isn't your trial skills, but the habits driving them?

In this week's podcast episode, I'm breaking down the hidden thought patterns and old wiring that keep trial lawyers operating on autopilot—even when they desperately want change.

We're talking about:

why success still feels hard

the habit of overworking

how "authenticity" can become an excuse

the money stories running your life

and the real reason transformation feels so uncomfortable

Because here's the truth: What got you here won't get you there. Love, Sari

Quote: "What got you here is not going to get you there… and what got you here are the habits that you created a long time ago. Those habits sometimes have a voice. That's the saboteur that we've talked about. But oftentimes, the problem is not that we have the habits, it's the fact that we don't uncover the habits. We don't even know that they are there."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Most lawyers focus on how to argue damages.

Very few spend enough time truly understanding the loss.

And jurors can feel that.

In this week's episode, I break down the 3 components every damages argument needs:

Understanding the loss

Valuing the loss

Communicating the loss

We also talk about:

Why metaphor matters

How small stories hit harder than big explanations

A simple framework I use to think about non-economic damages

Because damages aren't about formulas.

They're about helping jurors understand what was taken.

Love, Sari

P.S. If this episode hit home for you, my live webinar on May 28th is going even deeper into how the H2H Method™ helps jurors connect to what actually matters in trial. We're going beyond the FHTH book and into what works in today's courtrooms.Register now → sariswears.com/webinar

Quote: "When everything says trial should be this very formal, sterile process, we have to fight against that. It's a very human process. The things jurors talk about in voir dire — family, health, purpose, connection — those are the exact things your plaintiff lost."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Today is my 54th birthday, which honestly feels surreal to say out loud.

And it got me reflecting on how I somehow went from being a classically trained pianist… to becoming the "Queen of Voir Dire."

There was no grand plan.

No moment where I suddenly felt ready.

Just a series of moments where my want became bigger than my worry.

In this week's podcast, I share the full story of how I found this work, the risks I took before I could afford to take them, the mentors who changed my life, and the 7 biggest lessons I've learned over the last 24+ years.

But more than anything, this episode is about what happens when you stop waiting for certainty and start trusting what you really want.

And THANK YOU for being part of this community and this journey with me. 💖

Love, Sari

P.S. Speaking of becoming the "Queen of Voir Dire"… I just announced a brand new live webinar happening May 28th! We're going beyond the FHTH book and into how the H2H Voir Dire method performs in today's courtrooms. Register now → sariswears.com/webinar

Quote: "The people who change their lives aren't the ones with the perfect roadmap. They're the ones willing to keep going before they know exactly how it all works out."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

You're spending your voir dire on the wrong thing.

And it's not subtle.

You're trying to get ahead of the defense's argument—funneling defense points, repeating their story, mapping out everything wrong with what they might bring up.

Meanwhile, your jury is soaking up defense point after defense point.

That's the problem.

Because what you give airtime to, they give weight to.

In this week's podcast, I break down the 4 topics you should avoid in voir dire, because they quietly hand power to the other side (even when you think you're doing it right).

Love, Sari

P.S. If you want to go deeper on this, join me LIVE on May 28th for my Beyond the Book Webinar. I'll walk you through the H2H Method™ and how it actually works in real cases and you can even bring your own case for live feedback. Register NOW → sariswears.com/webinar

You might be asking the wrong questions.

Not bad ones.

Just ones that never get past small talk.

And if that's happening in your voir dire… you're missing the moment where jurors actually connect.

Because connection doesn't come from:

"Where are you from?"

"What do you do?"

"Have you ever…?"

It comes from something deeper.

From getting jurors to talk about what they value and actually staying there long enough for it to mean something.

Most attorneys don't do this.

Not because they don't care… but because they've never been shown how.

And that gap? It shows up later in your damages.

Coach K and I break all of this down in this week's podcast:

What a resonant conversation actually is

Why it changes the way jurors see your case

And how to start shifting your questions (without it feeling forced or awkward)

If your jury feels a little disconnected… this is likely why.

Love, Sari

Download FREE Worksheet

Quote:

"What we're really wanting from our jurors is to invest in the process. And the best time to do that is in voir dire — when they can talk about themselves and what they value… because at its core, what our plaintiff attorneys are fighting for are human values, things that we all care about. And that's what was taken in every single case."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

I'm seeing this a lot lately, so let me say it straight: If your case feels too simple, you're probably FINALLY getting it right.

You keep trying to add more: more detail, more explanation, more persuasion.

But jurors don't need more.

They need clarity.

When you hit the point where someone hears your case and thinks, "Well… duh," that's the sweet spot.

Because "duh" means:

And most importantly, it triggers the question you want: "If it's so obvious… why didn't they do it?"

That's where your power is.

Not in being clever.

Not in making it complex.

In making it undeniable.

So if part of you is thinking, "This feels too basic…"

Good. Lean in.

Love, Sari

Quote:

"If your case makes someone think, 'Well, duh,' that's when you know you've got it right. It means it's clear, it's common sense, and it's something no one can argue with. That's where your power is — not in being clever, but in being undeniable."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Have you ever caught yourself thinking:

"Why does everything feel so overwhelming lately?"

It might not be your caseload.

It might not be your schedule.

It might be this: You're making thousands of decisions every single day.

Big ones. Small ones. Constant ones.

And it's draining you.

In this week's episode, I break down the exact tools I use to cut through decision fatigue, so you can STOP spinning and START moving.

Here's a quick look:

Why "just thinking about it" keeps you stuck (and what actually works instead)

How to create a personal litmus test so decisions become automatic

The simple shift that instantly reduces overwhelm (hint: zoom out)

Because the goal isn't to make more decisions.

It's to make fewer and better ones.

If you've been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or mentally tapped out… this one's for you.

Love, Sari

P.S. If you're stuck between options right now, don't overthink it, grab the free decision-making download and work through it step-by-step: https://sariswears.com/decisions

Quote:

"The average person makes like 35,000 decisions a day… and for trial attorneys, you're making more high-stakes decisions than most people. All of these decisions lead to overwhelm."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Have YOU ever thought:

"I don't think I want to do this anymore."

Not forever.

Not dramatically.

Just… quietly, in the back of your mind.

In this week's episode, I sat down with Coach K to talk about why so many trial attorneys hit this exact point.

And no, you're not alone. 😉

What we've seen time and time again is this:

It's not that you actually want to quit… It's that you can't keep doing it the way you've been doing it.

Doing everything yourself.

Carrying too much.

Feeling stuck in a system that's draining you.

And here's the shift…

That moment where you start questioning everything?

That's not the end.

It's the turning point.

Inside the episode, Coach K and I break down:

If you've been on the edge of quitting, this one is for you.

Love, Sari

Quote:

"I don't think I want to be a trial attorney anymore… or it's, 'I don't know, I might be crazy for saying this, but I've been wondering if I even want to do this anymore.' We hear that all the time. And out of all the hundreds of trial attorneys we've worked with… almost none of them actually quit."

Coach K

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

I'm bringing this episode back because this question keeps coming up:

"How do I explain my number for non-economic damages?"

And here's the truth…

You don't.

At least not the way most attorneys try to.

There is no real formula for non-economic damages.

And when you try to force one… jurors can feel that it's not real.

What they're actually looking for is much simpler: Do YOU believe the number you're asking for?

In this episode, I walk through:

The difference between price vs. value

Why jurors don't need a calculation

And how to present your number in a way they'll trust

If you want to actually practice this, my Damages Masterclass is happening THIS June, and this is exactly what we work on.

It's small group, hands-on, and designed to change how you show up in court.

Give the episode a listen, and if this is something you've struggled with, come work through it with me in June.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"You're all looking for formulas, tricks, and techniques—but that's not what's going to win the day. What wins is when you stand in front of a jury, fully own your number, and they believe you—not because of your calculation, but because you've made believers out of them."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

This is my most listened-to podcast episode… ever. 🤯

So I'm bringing it back.

If you've ever thought:

"I don't have enough time in voir dire"

"This judge limits us"

"I can't get through everything I want"

This episode is for you.

Because the truth is, you don't need more time.

You need to focus on the right things.

In this episode, I walk you through the three principles you MUST get from jurors:

👉🏽 People should take responsibility when they hurt someone 👉🏽 Money holds people responsible 👉🏽 Money can help

That's it.

If jurors say these out loud, they begin to align.

And when they align, your job gets a whole lot easier.

This is the foundation.

Whether you have 20 minutes or two hours, THIS is what matters.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"We are not trying to convince the jury to believe anything. These are things they already believe. Our job is to bring those beliefs into the room so jurors can rally around them and when they do, they solve the case for us."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

What if the issue isn't your case… but HOW you're thinking about the jury?

Most lawyers won't say this out loud, but it's happening.

You're asking the jury to do MORE than their job.

Not just decide the case, but decide if you're good enough.

If they rule in your favor → you feel validated.

If they don't → you question everything.

That's the trap.

Because the jury's job is simple: hold bad actors accountable.

That's it.

They are NOT there to:

🚫 Like you 🚫 Validate you 🚫 Prove you're a good lawyer

And the moment you start needing that from them…

YOU stop serving them and start trying to get something from them.

They can feel that.

🙅🏽‍♀️Stop asking, "What do they think of me?"

✅Start asking, "How can I help them do their job?"

That's where everything changes.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"You are giving them the job of making you feel good about yourself. That is not their job. So much of your self-worth is tied up in whether these six or eight or twelve people like you… and that is dangerous."

Sari de la Motte

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One of our H2H™ crew members, Chrissy Hagen, recently tried a medical malpractice case that resulted in a defense verdict.

After trial, she reached out with a great question:

Should we be spending MORE time addressing defense points during trial?

In this episode, we talk through:

👉🏽 The med mal case involving a delayed prostate cancer diagnosis 👉🏽 What Chrissy heard from jurors after the verdict 👉🏽 Why some jurors admitted they "flipped" during deliberations 👉🏽 The concept of defensive attribution and how it shows up in trials 👉🏽 And the bigger lesson: WHY framing matters more than time spent on defense points

As we dug into the case, something important emerged.

The real issue in this case wasn't just the delayed diagnosis.

It was agency.

A doctor making a decision for a patient instead of giving that patient the information needed to make the decision themselves.

And when you find the real piss-off point for jurors, everything about how you frame the case can change.

If you've ever walked out of a courtroom wondering what happened in that verdict room, this episode is for you.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

What's actually motivating you in trial? 🤔

Is it love for your client?

Love for justice?

Love for the craft?

Or is it fear?

Fear of screwing up.

Fear of missing something.

Fear of not being good enough.

In this week's episode, I'm back with Coach K talking about why so many trial attorneys are fueled by self-criticism and WHY that strategy quietly burns you out.

We break down:

👉🏽 Why being hard on yourself doesn't create excellence 👉🏽 Why replaying mistakes reinforces them 👉🏽 How fear-based motivation keeps you stuck 👉🏽 And what happens when you shift to love instead

Because fear constricts.

Love expands.

And what you focus on, you create.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"Whatever's motivating you is what's going to move you forward. If it's fulfilling, resonant, exciting — that's the energy you want behind your work. But if it's beating yourself up, focusing on failure, working long hours until you can't think anymore — that's the wrong motivation. It's going to drag you down. You won't be fulfilled. You won't feel joy. And it's not sustainable."

Coach K

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Let's talk about the voice in your head.

The one that says: "You should settle." "You're not ready." "If you lose, you're exposed."

That's NOT wisdom.

That's your saboteur and it's trying to keep you "safe."

In this week's episode, I break down:

🤨 What the saboteur really is 🤨 Why your brain resists growth 🤨 The 7-step process to stop self-sabotaging your trials (BONUS: Free downloadable prep sheet)

👉🏽 Download FREE 7 Step Process Prep Sheet 👈🏽

You can't stop thoughts from entering your brain.

But you CAN decide what to do with them.

Start growing the box.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"You cannot stop thoughts from entering your brain. That's not how the brain works. But you can be intentional about what you do with the thought once it's there. You can decide: this thought is here — what do I want to do with it? Because when you don't decide, the saboteur decides for you."

Sari de la Motte

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You ever feel like your brain just… won't cooperate? 😣

You're overwhelmed.

You're reactive.

You're exhausted by 3:00 PM.

You can't focus the way you know you should be able to.

And then you beat yourself up for it.

In this week's podcast, Coach K and I are talking about something that might hit closer to home than you expect:

Why SO many trial lawyers operate like they have ADHD (even if they don't).

We break down:

👉🏽 What actually happens when your prefrontal cortex gets hijacked 👉🏽 Why chronic stress mirrors ADHD symptoms 👉🏽 The connection between overwhelm, impulse control, and addiction 👉🏽 The three things you can start doing immediately to get your brain back online

If you've ever thought: "Why can't I just get it together?"

This episode is for YOU.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Kevins ADHD Coach: https://lyndahoffman.com/

Quote:

"The brain fog and overwhelm that happens with ADHD — it takes so much more work just to do basic tasks. By the end of the day, you're exhausted. And there are a lot of times where you're just tapping out like, 'I can't do this anymore.' That can feed addiction or whatever coping mechanism you reach for. And it's very reminiscent of an attorney, because trial attorneys have that same brain fog, that same fatigue, that same overwhelm because of their jobs — even if they don't have ADHD."

Coach K

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Michael was here in Portland for our January Masterclass… so of COURSE I had to take the opportunity to sit down with him in the podcast room. 😉

Michael Cowen is a trial lawyer, firm owner, author of Big Rig Justice, AND host of Trial Lawyer Nation.

We talk about:

👉🏽 His path from Wall Street litigator to plaintiff trial lawyer 👉🏽 The evolution of his practice (and his firm) over the years 👉🏽 What shifted when he focused on the internal work (not just trial tactics) 👉🏽 Why loving trial is very different from simply getting through trial

It's a grounded, honest conversation about growth, professionally and personally, and what it REALLY takes to keep getting better in this work.

If you care about mastery, you'll want to listen.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"I could do all the trial techniques in the world. I could memorize other people's openings and copy their moves. But none of it would matter until I fixed myself. When I didn't trust the jury, when I didn't trust myself, that came through — in my tone, in my body language, in my eyes. And if they don't trust you, they shouldn't trust you. The shift for me was learning to believe that I am just as deserving, capable, and worthy as anyone else — not better, not worse. Once I stopped tying verdicts to my worth, everything changed."

Michael Cowen

Trial Lawyer Nation Podcast: https://triallawyernation.com/

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I'm joined by special guest Nate Cobb, a New Mexico-based trial lawyer who used to say, "I don't need that mindset stuff."

Until a case forced him to find out the hard way that mindset isn't optional — it's EVERYTHING.

In this episode, Nate breaks down a recent case that settled mid-trial for $17.5 million and exactly what made the difference when the pressure was on.

We talk about:

👉🏽 Why ignoring mindset almost cost him the case 👉🏽 How owning the number changed negotiations 👉🏽 Why trusting the jury matters more than fighting the defense 👉🏽 The moment he knew the case had shifted (and the defense knew it too)

If you've ever told yourself "I'll focus on mindset later", this episode is for YOU.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"I went from operating out of fear and reaction to realizing that the only reason my practice felt overwhelming was because I made it that way. Coaching didn't just change how I tried cases — it changed how I thought, how I showed up, and how much I actually enjoyed my work. Mindset isn't extra. It's the foundation."

Nate Cobb

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One decision changed Tom D'Amore's (one of my FAVORITE clients) entire practice: He stopped being "great at settling cases"… and became a trial beast.

In this episode, Tom and I break down what actually shifted everything:

👉🏽 Why lawyers who don't try cases get paid less, even when they settle 👉🏽 How fewer cases created bigger results 👉🏽 Why most serious cases aren't about one bad actor, but systemic failure 👉🏽 And what it really takes to walk into a courtroom prepared — not hoping for luck

This is REAL trial work, real verdicts ($26.5M, $21M), and real growth.

This is the stuff NO one teaches in law school and very few people are willing to say out loud.

If you've felt that pull toward trial or you KNOW you're capable of more…

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"If you've got 150 cases, you're never going to excel at trial work. You just can't do all the things you need to do to prepare properly. That's why we keep our caseload small—so we can actually do the work."

Tom D'Amore

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Here's what I see all the time in trial openings:

😴 Same tone 😴 Same pace 😴 Same energy

The WHOLE way through…

And THAT'S the problem.

In trial, you're always doing one of three things: 👉🏽 Teaching 👉🏽 Storytelling 👉🏽 Dealing with resistance

Each one needs a different energy.

Teaching should FEEL electric.

Storytelling should FEEL like a movie.

Dealing with resistance requires calm & confident leadership.

When all three sound the same, jurors don't feel anything.

Great openings manage energy on purpose.

They let jurors learn, feel, and engage — moment by moment.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"Most openings are boring and unmemorable because the energy never changes. It's the same energy the entire time — and that's mindless and boring for jurors. Great openings work because they manage energy from section to section, letting jurors learn something, feel something, and stay engaged."

Sari de la Motte

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Hot take: Closing is NOT your last chance to re-argue the evidence.

By the time you stand up, jurors are overloaded, stressed, and terrified of getting it wrong. And piling on more facts? That's not helping.

Closing has one job 👉 empower the jury to act.

In this week's Sari Swears podcast 🎙️, I break down the 8 ingredients every closing needs — the pieces that calm juror brain threat, give them structure, and show them exactly how to do their job.

We're talking:

🚨 Why themes beat facts at the end 🚨 The part most lawyers skip (and shouldn't) 🚨 How to turn jurors from hostages into heroes

If your closing feels heavy, forced, or flat… this might be why.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"The purpose of closing is not to re-argue the evidence or shove more facts into jurors' brains. At that point, they're already overloaded. The real purpose of closing is to empower the jury to take action — to give them structure, tools, and confidence so they know exactly how to do their job and trust themselves enough to do it."

Sari

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If delegating feels risky and holding on feels exhausting, this episode will hit home.

On the podcast this week, I'm joined by Coach K and Meredith Berg, an EOS Implementer, to talk about the real reason running your firm feels so damn heavy — and what ACTUALLY fixes it. 🎯

We get into:

👉🏽 Why delegation fails (even when you want to let go) 👉🏽 How accountability (not micromanagement) creates freedom 👉🏽 The biggest mistake law firm owners make with roles and people 👉🏽 Why culture matters just as much as skillset 👉🏽 How to stop spinning and start executing on a real vision

This isn't a theory.

It's structure.

It's clarity.

It's relief.

If you want your firm to support your trial work instead of competing with it, press play.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"Everyone hits a ceiling. Whether you're a solo entrepreneur or leading a growing organization, there's only so much time and capacity one person has. At that point, you either choose to grow — by delegating and elevating — or you stay stuck."

Meredith Berg

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This year will look EXACTLY like last year unless something deeper changes.

MOST people don't fail because they lack discipline or ambition.

They fail because they're chasing results instead of identity.

You don't want the verdict.

You want the feeling you think comes with it.

And here's the part no one wants to admit: Willpower is trash. It runs out. Every time.

In this week's podcast, I break down:

⚡ Why goals alone don't work ⚡ Why "doing more" keeps you stuck ⚡ Why everything shifts when you decide who you are first

If you want different results this year, don't write a longer to-do list…

Decide who the hell you are.

Then act like it.

The rest follows.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Resource:

jamesclear.com/identity-based-habits

Quote:

"We think we have to have the thing before we can do the things and then finally be the person. It has never worked that way. You decide who you are first. Then you do the things. Then you get the results."

Sari de la Motte

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If you're a trial lawyer, you've probably been told some version of this:

🚫 "Don't be arrogant."

🚫 "Stay humble."

🚫 "Let the work speak for itself."

Sounds right… until it starts shrinking how you show up.

In this week's podcast, Coach K and I talk directly to YOU about a mindset trap we see all the time — the humble saboteur 🧠.

It's the voice that tells you:

🗣️ "Don't own that win too much."

🗣️ "You're not there yet."

🗣️ "If you think you're great, you'll get lazy."

That voice is NOT humility.

It's fear.

And juries feel it.

Confidence is NOT arrogance.

This episode breaks down WHY a brag list isn't ego — it's how you have your own back.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"Most people want to skip celebrating and move straight to the next thing. But what you celebrate is what you build on—growth doesn't come from self-criticism, it comes from recognizing your wins."

Coach K

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The year is winding down.

Trials are slowing.

Your brain is STILL going a mile a minute.

This week on Sari Swears, I'm joined by guest speaker Coach K for a conversation that feels like hitting the reset button before the new year.

We talk through the mindset traps that quietly wear trial lawyers down and what to do about them.

We Break Down:

👉🏽 Why chasing "100% prepared" keeps you stuck 👉🏽 How fear bloats your opening and blurs your story 👉🏽 Why isolation lies to you about everyone else having it together 👉🏽 How your saboteur plays its favorite holiday reruns 👉🏽 What it really takes to trust yourself again

If you've been carrying too much into this season, consider this your permission to put some of it down.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"Your saboteur is going to try to throw all these things at you that you're never going to be able to achieve. You have to notice it showing up and say, 'I know you're here, but I don't need that right now.' It all starts with awareness—it starts with changing the way you think."

Coach K

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Have you ever felt COMPLETELY drained by this work… even when everything is technically "going fine"?

Not just tired, but heavy?

That's exactly what we're talking about this week on Sari Swears and Coach K is back with me for this episode.

We're diving into secondary trauma — the kind you absorb from:

👉🏽 The cases 👉🏽 The injuries 👉🏽 The families 👉🏽 The devastation

It doesn't just affect your health… it can quietly limit your damages in the courtroom.

If you've been feeling exhausted, disconnected, overwhelmed, or like you're always just pushing through — this episode WILL hit home.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"Secondary trauma is when you take on trauma that didn't happen to you directly. You absorb what your clients have gone through — the cases, the deaths, the injuries — and that weight really sits on you. Even though it didn't happen to you, your body still carries it."

Coach K

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Let's talk about money.

Specifically: what money can buy... and what it can't.

That distinction?

It's everything in trial.

And it's everything when it comes to damages.

Economic damages? You've got bills, life care plans, receipts…

Non-economic? You're asking the jury to put a number on grief.

On lost joy. On the inability to hold your child again.

In this podcast episode, I'll show you EXACTLY how to:

✅ Separate price from value in voir dire, opening, and closing ✅ Use stand-in language and metaphor to anchor your ask ✅ Reframe the jury's role so they stop thinking they're buying something and start seeing what their number really represents

If you've ever struggled to confidently ask for a big number… This one is for YOU.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

P.S. I threw in the 3 questions I use in closing to reframe damages every time. You can thank me later.

Quote:

"You're not pricing the pain. You're pricing the value of relieving that pain. You're pricing the value of reclaiming your life. What would you pay to get that back? That's what you're asking the jury to consider."

Sari

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If you're anything like I was a few years ago…

You're doing everything.

You're hustling.

You're building.

And you're running a successful business.

BUT, you STILL feel trapped.

That's because you're operating like a solopreneur, not an entrepreneur.

(Spoiler: one burns out, the other builds a team.)

In this week's podcast, I'm sharing something outside of the trial world, but essential to your success inside the courtroom:

👉🏽 HOW to get the right people in the right seats 👉🏽 WHY the traditional org chart is completely ass-backwards 👉🏽 WHAT I've learned from implementing the EOS system (and why I wish I'd done it sooner)

I'm pulling back the curtain on my own journey — where I was the bottleneck — and how structure created more creativity, more impact, and yes… MORE freedom.

If you're tired of building alone, and ready to lead differently…

This one's for you.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

Quote:

"You can't grow if you're the one doing everything. The more I let go, the more the business grew — and the more I grew. That's the magic of getting the right people in the right seats."

-Sari

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Do you ever catch yourself repeating things in trial and worry it's too much?

Let me stop you right there: it's NOT too much.

In fact, you probably need to repeat yourself MORE.

This week's podcast episode is all about how intentional repetition helps your jurors:

✔️ Understand your case ✔️ Remember your core messages ✔️ Trust YOU

Too many attorneys are afraid of sounding redundant. But repetition, when done right, is one of the most powerful teaching tools you have.

In the episode, I break down:

🗣️Why repetition builds neural pathways and increases recall 🗣️How to use repetition throughout voir dire, opening, and closing 🗣️The difference between GOOD repetition (strategic) and BAD repetition (nervous rambling)

And I walk you through exactly where in trial you should be repeating key phrases, hooks, gestures, and more.

Because when jurors hear it again and again it STICKS.

And if it sticks, they carry it into the verdict room.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari

Quote:

"If you want the jury to remember something, you have to be willing to say it over and over and over again. Not just in voir dire, not just in opening, not just in closing—but throughout the entire trial. Because repetition creates neural pathways. That's how the brain works. Repetition is how we learn, how we connect, how we remember. And if you're not repeating your most important points? You're leaving the jury with nothing to hold onto."

-- Sari

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You ever meet someone and think, "Oh, they're about to break wide open."

That was PI attorney Shaun Lieser.

When he first joined our H2H world, he was smart (still is), capable (still is), and honestly?

A little stuck.

Then he FLIPPED the switch.

Inside the episode, we talk about:

👉🏽 Why wanting to be liked is killing your presence in court

👉🏽 The moment Shaun realized voir dire isn't all about being smart — it's about connection

👉🏽 How the H2H Method™ helped him step FULLY into his voice and style

There's SO much gold in this one, and Shaun brings the kind of honesty that I know will land deeply with you.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

Quote:

"What I appreciated most about the H2H work was the freedom it gave me to fully express myself in court. Before, I was always trying to fit into this 'trial lawyer' mold I thought I needed to be in. But when I started working with you, Sari, and the H2H method, I realized—my presence, my instincts, my style… it's all enough. In fact, it's more than enough. And that gave me a whole new level of confidence in front of a jury."

Shaun Lieser

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Ever been in a conversation that went sideways fast? 🫣

You had good intentions… but suddenly it felt like you were speaking different languages?

Yeah. Been there.

That's WHY I'm dropping this week's episode: How to Master Difficult Conversations: The Tool I Swear By.

It's based on a life-changing framework I got from my very first coach and I still use it TO. THIS. DAY (yeah it's that good).

Learn how to STAY grounded, clear, and powerful when sh*t hits the fan.

Inside this episode, I'm sharing:

✨ What most people get wrong when trying to "tend to the relationship" ✨ Why not knowing your outcome can derail the entire conversation ✨ The surprising reason you might be avoiding hard convos (it's not what you think)

And that's JUST the beginning.

I walk you through the full 4-step Focus Tool that'll help you prepare and show up with presence — whether it's your co-counsel, your kid, or your partner.

(Or save it for when you're about to text "we need to talk…")

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

Focus Tool Sheet - sariswears.com/focus-tool

Quote:

"Just because you're having a hard conversation doesn't mean it has to be a hard experience. When you're grounded in clarity, when you know what you're asking for, what your emotions are trying to tell you, and how you're contributing to the dynamic—you can show up with compassion and confidence."

— Sari de la Motte

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If instinct is your only strategy in the courtroom, you've already lost ground.

This week's episode might ruffle a few feathers.

Because I'm calling BS on the myth of "natural trial talent."

You know the one. 😉

The idea that great trial lawyers are just BORN that way.

That some people just have it.

Instincts are a starting point.

BUT they'll only take you so far.

If you're not practicing, really practicing, you're playing small.

In this episode, I talk about:

👉🏽 Why you confuse instinct with what it really is: trained responsiveness

👉🏽 How trial lawyers need to practice like musicians or athletes

👉🏽 Why making mistakes in practice is exactly what you need

👉🏽 How mindset always wins over technical skill

It's honest.

It's direct.

And it MIGHT just change how you prep for your next trial.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

Quote:

"It's not that you're born a natural. It's that you've done the reps. You've trained your brain and your body to respond a certain way in the courtroom. That's not magic—it's muscle. And every lawyer has the ability to build it."

Sari

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

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If you've ever found yourself spiraling mid-trial, wondering "am I doing this right?" — this episode is for you.

Because here's the truth:

⚡️ There is no "right." ⚡️ You can't perform your way to presence. ⚡️ You can't think your way into connection.

You have to practice being present.

In this episode, I share 7 ways to step out of your head and into the courtroom with power and presence.

Here are 3 to get you started:

👉🏽 STOP trying to "get it right." That's just fear with lipstick. 👉🏽 FOCUS on being, not performing. Connection > content. 👉🏽 DITCH judgment. Curiosity kills the critic. Ask: "What's going on here?"

The rest?

You'll have to tune in to hear them. 😉

If you're craving MORE support, I'll be LIVE in our Portland courtroom teaching the Opening Masterclass on Nov 13–14.

Only a FEW spots left.

Come practice presence in the room with ME.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

Quote:

"If you're going to ask a jury for millions of dollars, you've got to be right with it. Not ashamed. Not shrinking. Not 'I hope they like me.' You have to believe it's the right thing to do. That kind of certainty is contagious and that's what jurors follow."

-Sari

Download resource sheet HERE

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

We've all done it.

Sat at our desk, typing out an opening statement word-for-word, hoping it'll somehow click once we're standing in court.

But here's the thing: The way you practice is the way you'll perform.

And if you're only rehearsing in your head, hunched over a keyboard, your brain's gonna BAIL on you the moment you stand up.

In this week's podcast episode, I'm breaking down how to FINALLY get off your notes and deliver an opening that's confident, conversational, and compelling.

I'm giving you:

🗒️ A better way to practice (yes, it's awkward…at first)

🗒️ My 5-step process to ditch the script

🗒️ And a whole lot of tough love (you know I can't help myself 😉)

You DO NOT need to memorize your opening.

You NEED to internalize it.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

P.S. Spots for the Opening Masterclass (Nov 13–14) are filling up FAST. Lock in your spot NOW.

Quote:

"The thing you must understand is that you're not just delivering words. You're delivering you. If you haven't practiced your opening out loud—if you haven't stood in your body, heard your own voice, felt your own fear, worked through it—you won't connect. The jury will sense the dissonance. And that's why typing your opening and calling it done is a mistake. The practice is the performance. You've got to embody it before you ever walk into court."

Sari

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Have you ever heard a phrase in court and cringe a little?

Not because it's wrong, but because it's so… overused.

We've all said them.

BUT.

The game has changed. Jurors are sharper. Attention is shorter.

And credibility is everything.

So in this week's podcast, I'm breaking down 7 phrases that are killing your case and offering better ways to build connection and trust.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

Quote:

"The reason we say things like 'you must be fair and impartial' is because we're trying to sound lawyerly. But that language doesn't move people. What moves people is truth. When you speak from principle — when you say things like 'we hold people accountable when they hurt others' — you connect with jurors on a human level. That's where your power is."

-Sari

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

There is one trial skill that will take your trial practice to the next level. Mastering this skill has the capacity to change almost everything.

Want to know what it is?

Gotta give this episode a listen. You might be surprised.

What flavor of shit sandwich do you want?

'Cause, like it or not, you gotta choose one.

Figuring out what you want is one thing but choosing what you want means also choosing the shadow side of it too.

What do I mean by the shadow side? Give this episode a listen to find out more.

My FB Live from Wednesday 10/16/19 has been uploaded as a bonus podcast episode on the From Hostage To Hero Podcast. This week we discussed How to Handle Non-Economic Damages at Trial. Subscribe to make sure you get all new episodes, and leave us a Review!

Do you know what you want?

Are you waiting until you have enough...experience, preparation, training, knowledge?

Are you willing to fail?

Wanting. Waiting. Willing. These three words hold the key to your success. Give this episode a listen to learn more.

There are four steps you need to take to move jurors from hostage to hero.

But what you may not realize is that you've already taken those steps yourself, before you even entered the courtroom.

Understanding how you've carried the burden of your case and how the jurors must now carry it is extremely important. Give this episode a listen to learn more.

Should I tell jurors the amount we're asking for in voir dire?

How do I help jurors understand the difference between economic and non-economic damages?

What do I do if they freak out over the number?

I answer all of these questions and more on today's podcast episode. Give it a listen to learn more.

Failure? Again? Sheesh, that seems to be all I talk about.

Yeah, but it's SUPER IMPORTANT not to just be willing to fail, but to feel into your failure.

Give this episode a listen to learn more. More episodes at www.saridlm.com, on iTunes or on your preferred podcast app

What's a devil's advocate question? How do you use it? Why is it important?

This podcast episode will answer those questions and more.

If you're having trouble figuring out how to deal with defense arguments in your voir dire or wondering how to test whether jurors really believe what they say they do, you've GOT to have the devil's advocate question in your repertoire.

Check out this episode to learn more. More episodes at www.saridlm.com, on iTunes or on your preferred podcast app

As humans, we're ALL about beginnings and endings. When should I start a diet? Monday, of course. What's the best part of running a marathon? The end, duh.

This preference for beginnings and endings, however, causes you to miss out on the most important part: the middle.

The magic is in the middle. Whatever goal you have, whatever it is you're trying to achieve, the journey to your destination is where it's at, not the end result.

Give this episode a listen to find out why the magic is in the middle and how you can embrace the journey instead of the destination.

Presenting in the courtroom carries with it a million tasks that can be overwhelming both for you and for the jury. More often than not, you're overcomplicating things.

Would you be surprised to hear that there are really only three things that you need to do in trial? Recognizing that will help you simplify and get intentional.

Give this podcast a listen to learn what the three things are and how to approach them efficiently. You can listen on iTunes or on your preferred podcast app.

My FB Live from Wednesday 08/28/19 has been uploaded as a bonus episode on the From Hostage To Hero Podcast. This week we discussed "Why You Should Let Jurors Control Voir Dire."

Long, complex opening statements with lots of legal jargon leads to bored, confused jurors who tune out.

Are you making these mistakes in opening?

Your opening should be "sticky" so jurors can remember your theme all the way into the verdict room.

Opening is your one time to "hum the tune" so to speak of your trial themes. But making these three mistakes will get in your way.

Give the podcast a listen to find out the Three Mistakes You're Making in Opening.

What does it mean to "own the space?"

And further, why is that important?

You might be surprised to learn it takes very little to communicate you are in command of the space.

Give the podcast a listen to find out how to command the space, and why it's important you do. You can listen on iTunes or on your preferred podcast app.

I know you don't want to annoy jurors (at least I hope not.)

But you may be doing these 7 things and not know that jurors hate them.

The only thing you need to win the hearts and minds of jurors is you.

You don't need these seven things, so stop doing them.

Give the podcast a listen to find out the seven things you're doing that jurors hate.

Can you accurately read the body language of jurors?

Depends what you're trying to "read."

There are two things you can read when it comes to juror body language.

You don't need to memorize hundreds of nonverbal cues in order to do this either.

Give the podcast a listen to find out how to read body language and let go of your stories about what it means.

Are you wasting your mistakes?

Look, I know you make them, everyone does.

So let's not waste an opportunity to learn, ok?

You waste your mistakes when you beat yourself up and quit.

Mistakes are an opportunity to learn and grow, but only if you know how to use them to your advantage.

Give the podcast a listen to find out how to stop wasting your mistakes and start moving toward greatness. More episodes available at www.saridlm.com

Does body language really make a difference in trial?

You bet it does.

If you want to change your results, you must change your body language.

Great communicators not only have a variety of ways of communicating, they know what skill to use when.

Give the podcast a listen to find out why body language is so important and how you can be more purposeful in your own communication.

My FB Live from Wednesday 07/17/19 has been uploaded as a bonus podcast episode. This week we discussed "Why You Must Form the Group If You Want to Increase Your Chance of Winning at Trial." Get more episodes at www.saridlm.com/podcast

You should always make eye contact, right?

Wrong.

We attempt to continually make eye contact because of what we think it means.

But what if you were wrong about what eye contact communicates nonverbally?

Give the podcast a listen to find out what eye contact really means, and how you can be more systematic.

Are you a good listener? In order to grow as a high performance trial attorney, you MUST be a good listener.

Most people, when they think of "listening," they only think of one kind. Would you be surprised to find out there are actually THREE types of listening?

If you really want to get good at voir dire, you have to tune in to the other two types.

Give the podcast a listen to dive into all three types.

Do you want to become a high performing trial attorney?

Then you must master nonverbal communication.

Nonverbal mastery isn't something "nice" to have or a cool gimmick. It's essential.

Give the podcast a listen to find out what nonverbal intelligence is, why you need to be more purposeful in your nonverbal communication, the three components of a message and more!

My FB Live from Wednesday 06/26/19 has been uploaded as a bonus podcast episode on this From Hostage To Hero Podcast. This week we discussed The Three Things Every Opening Needs. Get more episodes at www.saridlm.com/podcast

Authenticity.

You're told you need to be authentic in court, but what does that really mean?

Authenticity is bigger than you think. Being "uncomfortable" for example, is not the same as being inauthentic.

But authenticity can also get you in trouble.

Give the podcast a listen to find out what authenticity is and why it's such a big deal.

Have you been told you need to build trust with jurors to get them to vote your way?

You don't.

What you need is permission.

What's permission and how do you get it? Give the podcast a listen to find out.

My FB Live from Wednesday 06/12/19 has been uploaded as a bonus podcast episode. This week we discussed "The Biggest Thing Holding You Back From Becoming a Great Trial Attorney." Get more episodes at www.saridlm.com/podcast

How do you measure your success at trial?

If you're like most attorneys, when you win you think you're a great attorney and when you lose you think you aren't.

Bullshit.

Losing has NOTHING to do with how "good" you are.

Give the podcast a listen and learn how to let go of believing that losing means you're a bad trial attorney, and instead learn how to embrace the process.

Why do you go to trial?

To win, of course!

If we didn't think we could win, we'd settle the case.

However, believing that winning is the only acceptable outcome can really derail you at trial. You might be surprised to learn why.

Give the podcast a listen and learn how to let go of believing that winning is the only acceptable outcome.

My FB Live from Wednesday 05/29/19 has been uploaded as a bonus podcast episode. This week, I met up with Jesse Wilson from tellthewinningstory.com to discuss ideas on the topic of Performance Mastery - what it is and what it isn't. Get more episodes at www.saridlm.com/podcast

Visual communication can make or break your success at trial.

But there is a lot of misconceptions about trial visuals.

Join me for this special podcast where I interview Joshua Cohen of Fat Pencil Studio and we discuss when you should start thinking about visuals for trial (you might be surprised), how many visuals you should use (less than you think) and how visuals don't only tell the story of your case to jurors, they help YOU understand your case inside and out.

Learn more about Joshua here: www.fatpencilstudio.com

Trial is an adversarial process, which means there's a clear enemy.

The problem is, you believe the enemy is the jurors themselves.

Believing that jurors are the enemy will cause you all sorts of stress, worry, and take you off your game.

Jurors are not the enemy. Give the podcast a listen to learn how damaging this belief is to your trial practice. Learn ways to let go of this limiting belief and set yourself free once and for all.

A juror scowls and crosses his arms.

So you should freak out, right?

You walk into the breakroom and two colleagues immediately stop talking.

They're talking about you, right?

In today's podcast, I explore Limiting Belief #3: My Stories are True.

Stories have the power to absolutely take you off your game both at trial and in life.

Give the podcast a listen to learn how to get a handle on your stories.

My FB Live from Wednesday 05/08/19 has been uploaded as a bonus podcast episode on the From Hostage To Hero Podcast. This week we discussed why your opening is only as good as your voir dire and how they work together for trial success. Get more episodes at www.saridlm.com/podcast

The FB Live that I did in my From Hostage to Hero Facebook Group on Wednesday 04/17/19 has been uploaded as a bonus episode. This week we asked the question Why a "group" discussion in voir dire is superior to "individual" voir dire.

There are some great trial attorneys out there. They get big verdicts, have maybe even written a book or two, and it seems they never lose.

So you should try to be like them, right?

Wrong.

In today's episode, I explore Limiting Belief #2: I Have to Be Like [Insert-Famous-Trial-Attorney-Here] to Win.

You don't have to mimic the greats to win. You just have to learn how to fully and completely embrace your uniqueness and show the jury who you are.

Give the episode a listen.

The FB Live that I did in my From Hostage to Hero Facebook Group on Wednesday 04/03/19 has been uploaded as a bonus episode on the From Hostage to Hero Podcast. This week we asked the question "What is the SCARIEST part of voir dire?"

In this episode of From Hostage to Hero, I interview Michelle Sipes Martin, a legal nurse consultant, about how attorneys are leaving money on the table when they don't fully understand their case and how to present it at trial.

In this FB Live episode, we talk about Issue vs Relationship. Which is more important during voir dire? What should you start with? Which approach will serve you better?

Jurors are hostages.

But so are you.

Last week I talked about how you are a hostage to fear.

In today's podcast, I explore Limiting Belief #1: There's a "Right" Way to Do This.

Believing this really hampers you in court and in life. There's a LOT of great info out there for trial attorneys, the danger is when you buy into one "technique" as THE RIGHT WAY TO DO THIS. This, meaning trial.

Give the podcast a listen.

On this FB Live Episode, we discuss the problem with looking for "bad" jurors and the benefits of creating your "ideal juror profile" instead.

In this episode, we discuss how the same threats that your jurors face are the ones that you face in the courtroom. Using the SCARF model, we break down the common fears that confront you and begin to recognize that you are a hostage too.

On this FB Live from 03/14/19, we talk about the From Hostage to Hero FB Group, the intention the goals, the community, etc.

In episode 7, we're going to talk about why you need to stop focusing on kicking jurors off, and instead begin focusing on what jurors you want on.

Today we're talking about the last P in The Five Ps Model. We're exploring how to reverse the threat jury selection creates for jurors by taking a look at how attorneys can Prove Fairness.

To reverse the threat jury selection creates we've been looking at the Five 'P's:

Preserve Status Provide Certainty Protect Autonomy Promote Relatedness Prove Fairness

We've been looking at the last three in the last podcasts – Status, Certainty, and Autonomy. Today we're taking a look at how to Promote Relatedness.

* * * * * FREE H2H TRAINING * * * * *

LET THE JURY SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS IN 3 EASY STEPS

Aren't you tired of searching for the shiny new formula for winning? I love you but the truth is: the shit you're doing with the jury isn't working. You need to let the jury solve your problems for you. Use my H2H Funnel Method for voir dire so that your jurors tell YOU the principles of the case instead of you telling THEM (yes, really).

Get the training here: https://bit.ly/h2hfunnel

In this episode, we continue to discuss the five social needs that, when threatened, keep the jurors hostage to the process. As we try to move them from feeling like a hostage to being a willing team player, we address the third social need: Protect Autonomy. The biggest thing you can do to protect a juror's autonomy is to actually give them a choice.

* * * * * FREE H2H TRAINING * * * * *

LET THE JURY SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS IN 3 EASY STEPS

Aren't you tired of searching for the shiny new formula for winning? I love you but the truth is: the shit you're doing with the jury isn't working. You need to let the jury solve your problems for you. Use my H2H Funnel Method for voir dire so that your jurors tell YOU the principles of the case instead of you telling THEM (yes, really).

Get the training here: https://bit.ly/h2hfunnel

In Episode 3, Sari continues in the training on "The Five P's," giving attention to "Provide Certainty." Learn what you can do to help move the jury away from survival mode during jury selection and to a place where they can participate as willing volunteers.

* * * * * FREE H2H TRAINING * * * * *

LET THE JURY SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS IN 3 EASY STEPS

Aren't you tired of searching for the shiny new formula for winning? I love you but the truth is: the shit you're doing with the jury isn't working. You need to let the jury solve your problems for you. Use my H2H Funnel Method for voir dire so that your jurors tell YOU the principles of the case instead of you telling THEM (yes, really).

Get the training here: https://bit.ly/h2hfunnel

Building upon the SCARF model from Episode 1, Sari discusses "The Five P's" and takes a more complete look at the first one: Preserving Status. Learn why preserving a juror's status is important, practical ways to assure that you are addressing this need, and hear examples of how this tactic has lead to winning cases.

* * * * * FREE H2H TRAINING * * * * *

LET THE JURY SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS IN 3 EASY STEPS

Aren't you tired of searching for the shiny new formula for winning? I love you but the truth is: the shit you're doing with the jury isn't working. You need to let the jury solve your problems for you. Use my H2H Funnel Method for voir dire so that your jurors tell YOU the principles of the case instead of you telling THEM (yes, really).

Get the training here: https://bit.ly/h2hfunnel

Sari de la Motte is the host of "From Hostage to Hero" and has been dubbed the "Attorney Whisperer" because of her unique ability to help attorneys communicate their real selves. Join us, once a month, as Sari shares tips that will help you up your game at trial and connect with your jurors.

* * * * * FREE H2H TRAINING * * * * *

LET THE JURY SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS IN 3 EASY STEPS

Aren't you tired of searching for the shiny new formula for winning? I love you but the truth is: the shit you're doing with the jury isn't working. You need to let the jury solve your problems for you. Use my H2H Funnel Method for voir dire so that your jurors tell YOU the principles of the case instead of you telling THEM (yes, really).

Get the training here: https://bit.ly/h2hfunnel

I recently sat down with Mike Takla on the Bad Law, Worse Facts podcast, and we went deep.

🗣️We talked bias.

🗣️We talked voir dire.

🗣️We talked WHY so many attorneys are afraid to ask for the damn money.

And of course, I shared what I've been teaching inside the H2H Playground, at Command the Courtroom, and our upcoming Damages Masterclass — including one of my favorite tools: the Funnel Method.

If you've ever struggled to confidently talk about damages, if you're still letting the defense set the tone in voir dire, or if you're stuck prepping your trial the week before (don't lie, I see you), you NEED to hear this.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

Quote:

"Most attorneys believe the juror is your enemy. That's why I wrote the whole book. We're scared of them, we think they're going to screw us over. But what plaintiff attorneys forget to their detriment is that you stand on the side of the right. In most cases the defense is covering up, trying to get away with something. And when you remember that, you realize jurors aren't against you—they're actually biased for you. You just haven't uncovered the principles that connect them to your case yet."

Sari de la Motte

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Life hurts sometimes.

👎🏽 Your case bombs. 👎🏽 Someone says something that cuts deep. 👎🏽 You lose something or someone that mattered.

That's PAIN.

That's inevitable.

BUT, then your brain chimes in:

🧠 "This shouldn't be happening." 🧠 "I should've done it differently." 🧠 "I'm not good enough."

That's NOT pain.

That's suffering… and it's OPTIONAL. (even if it doesn't feel optional.)

This week on the podcast, I'm walking you through one of the most powerful mindset shifts I've made in the last decade.

If you're in a season of chaos or pain, I hope this feels like a little light breaking through. 💞

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

Quote:

"Pain is life, your highness, but suffering is optional. It's something we do in response to pain and that, we can learn to stop doing."

-Sari

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

This week's episode is a little different.

Raw. Real. And one of the MOST powerful stories we've ever shared on the podcast.

I sat down with the incredible Kim Valentine — a powerhouse trial attorney who went from being homeless…

To someone who now walks into the courtroom fully expressed, fully embodied, and fully herself. 💖

Her story WILL move you.

Because it's not just about becoming a lawyer.

It's about becoming the version of yourself you were always meant to be — before the trauma, the chaos, and the noise told you otherwise.

We talk about:

👉🏽 Why dissociation and success often go hand-in-hand 👉🏽 The grief no one warns you about when you start healing 👉🏽 Reclaiming your voice, your body, and your right to be seen

Kim doesn't sugarcoat anything.

She swears. She cries. She tells the truth.

And by the end of this episode, you'll be reminded that you can rebuild too — no matter where you started.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

Quote:

"I used to think being strong meant not feeling anything. But the truth is, strength is being willing to feel everything — the grief, the shame, the regret — and still get back up. That's what makes you powerful in the courtroom. Not the performance. The presence."

- Kim Valentine

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Watch on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/

Welcome to the very first episode of Sari Swears — the podcast that FINALLY sounds like me, looks like me, and says the things I've ALWAYS wanted to say without editing myself down to fit in a box.

We ditched the old name.

Rebuilt the studio.

And YES — there's a theme song now that SLAPS.

This episode is the start of something completely new.

🚫 NO more staying in my lane. 🚫 NO more "shoulds." 🚫 NO more tone-policing myself so people don't get uncomfortable.

And if you've been doing the same — shrinking to fit, waiting to be "ready," pretending not to be the badass you actually are — then this is YOUR episode too.

Tune in NOW! 🎧

Love, Sari 💖

Quote:

"I don't stay in my lane—and neither should you. Because guess what? There are no lanes. It's all made up. The rules, the expectations, the labels—they were never yours to begin with. So why the hell are you still playing by them?"

—Sari de la Motte

New theme song FULL Version

Can't get enough of me? Connect with me here:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saridelamotte/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SariSwears

Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SariDLM

Free FB Group for Plaintiff & Criminal Defense Attorneys https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromhostagetohero/