Relationship Talk with Freda

It’s my mother’s birthday and I’d love to share eleven lessons I’ve learned simply by watching her live! They have been a blessing to me and I think they will bless you too! Listen and let me know which one spoke to you the most.

If you find yourself in a season where emotions feel intense or pressure feels high, pause and return to truth.

You are not behind.

You are not forgotten.

And you are not required to settle in order to be loved well.

What God has for you will not require fear to sustain it.

It will carry peace.

I had the most wonderful time recording this episode with my husband, Bishop Wale Ajayi, in celebration of our 17th wedding anniversary and the release of my new book, The Inside Job: Real Men and Emotional Intelligence.

We had an absolute blast sharing lessons we’ve learned over the years about marriage, communication, emotional intelligence, and building a Christ-centered relationship. This conversation is filled with practical wisdom, personal stories, and insights that I believe will encourage and strengthen your own relationships.

I thoroughly enjoyed recording this episode, and I hope you enjoy listening to it just as much.

Welcome, Relationship Talk with Freda family, to a first on our show—my husband as a guest! Hopefully, this will be the first of many conversations together.

Thank you for listening, and may you be blessed by this episode.

When People begin to measure themselves by attention, by who is showing interest, by who is staying, and by who is not yet present, slowly their emotional stability becomes tied to external validation.

But Ephesians 1:6 reminds us that we are accepted in the Beloved, which means acceptance is already established in Christ, not something you are trying to earn through relationships.

And when that truth is not settled, relationships begin to carry emotional weight they were never designed to carry.

Thank you so much for joining me today on the podcast. I trust this episode has encouraged, challenged, and equipped you in your walk with Christ.

For more resources, books, and digital tools, visit my Selar store. You can also connect with me on social media at @fredaidahosaajayi.

If this episode blessed you, please take a moment to subscribe, follow, like, and share this podcast with others. It really helps us reach more people and supports the podcast’s growth through the platform analytics.

Thank you again for listening. Until next time, stay encouraged, keep growing in grace, and remember that God is for you.

What a wonderful Question & Answer session we had on Relationship Talk with Freda this past week. So many thoughtful and insightful questions were asked.

One of the most interesting questions was:

“Should I go back after a breakup?”

I shared two possible scenarios and perspectives around that question, and the conversation was truly enlightening. It is definitely an episode worth listening to.

Follow @fredaidahosaajayi on social media for more relationship wisdom and faith-based insights.

You can also get my resources on my Selar store

https://selar.com/m/fredaajayi

and Amazon.

Don’t forget to follow, like, and share this podcast with your family and friends so they too can become part of the Relationship Talk with Freda community.

Blessings!

You are not behind in life.

It may feel that way when you see others reaching milestones, relationships, weddings, or career success while you are still waiting. But comparison distorts reality.

God does not write every story the same way, and purpose is not a competition.

In this episode, we discuss comparison, trusting God’s timing, and embracing your current season without fear or anxiety.

If this episode blesses you, my books and faith-based relationship resources are available on my Selar store:https://selar.co/m/fredaajayi

Thank you for listening and sharing this podcast. God bless you.

People start rushing into relationships not because they are ready, but because they are tired of feeling like they are “waiting too long.” They start settling, not because they want less, but because fear becomes louder than wisdom.

But God does not lead people through fear.

Sometimes what felt like a loss was actually God’s protection, redirection, and an opportunity for growth. Healing may not feel easy, but not every ending is bad. Here are 10 reasons the breakup was not so bad.

Resources mentioned:

https://selar.co/m/fredaajayi

https://selar.com/theinsidejob

https://selar.com/breakupwellbyfredaidahosaajayi

Breakups can be one of the most challenging experiences in life, filled with emotional turmoil and uncertainty. However, when approached with grace and dignity, they can also become a profound opportunity for personal growth and healing

Social media: @fredaidahosaajayi

Thanks for listening, till next time remember love grows best when it flows from wholeness in Christ.

Grace and peace to you.

Many relationships do not fail because love is absent. They fail because understanding is absent.

God never intended for relationships to be filled with constant miscommunication, silent resentment, passive aggression, or words spoken in anger. He calls us to speak with love, clarity, wisdom, and purpose.

As believers, our words should reflect the heart of Christ.

Here are the resource links:

Selar Store: https://selar.co/m/fredaajayi

The Communication Cheat Sheet: https://selar.com/The%20communication%20cheat%20sheet

Social media: @fredaidahosaajayi

Psalm 147:3 says:

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Notice this carefully—

God does the healing.

Listen—if you’re ready for real healing, not just talk, I want you to get my resources The Healing Treatment and Healed to Cheer right now on my Selar store. These are not just guides—they’re tools to help you step into the wholeness Christ has already given you.

Go straight to selar.co/m/fredaajayi and get started today.

And if this podcast is blessing you, make sure you like, follow, and subscribe so you stay connected to everything God is doing here.

You can genuinely forgive someone… and still not be led to give them the same level of access they once had.

Forgiveness is about your heart before God.

Access is about wisdom in your relationships.

If this episode spoke to you, don’t just move on—pause, reflect, pray, and act on what the Holy Spirit has shown you. Transformation happens when truth is applied.

If you found value here, subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and leave a review. Your support helps this message reach the right people at the right time.

Stay Connected:

Follow me on social media: @fredaidahosaajayi

Go Deeper with Faith-Based Resources:

Access my powerful guides, books, and tools designed to help you grow in relationships and in Christ:

-https://selar.co/m/fredaajayi

-https://selar.com/theinsidejob

-https://selar.com/w80z1f

Until next time, remember — love grows best when it flows from wholeness in Christ.

Grace and peace to you.

Emotional intelligence is not about being perfect.

It is about being governed.

As believers, we don’t strive for control in our own strength—we yield to the Spirit of God, who produces self-control within us.

A quick acknowledgement and appreciation of my global audience. Thanks for all the support!♥️♥️♥️

God is not asking you to fix yourself in your own strength—He is inviting you to see differently, so you can begin to live differently.

Because when your eyes open, your choices can change. And when your choices change, your patterns begin to break.

One of the hardest things to admit as believers is that sometimes what we call God is actually loneliness.

Loneliness is not a sin.

But when it becomes a decision-maker, it can lead us away from wisdom.

Purpose-driven dating asks the right questions:

Not potential growth. Not future promises.

But evidence of growth now.

In this episode we discuss extensively a chapter from my book, The One You Marry, which is available to you now on my digital store https://selar.com/m/fredaajayi

Check it out!

In seasons of waiting, God is often doing deep work beneath the surface—shaping your heart, strengthening your character, refining your discernment, and preparing you for the covenant you are believing for. What feels like delay to us is often preparation in the hands of God.

Scripture reminds us that wisdom sometimes involves restraint in our words and decisions. James 1:19 says, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Taking time to pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully helps maintain peace in relationships.

When you walk in obedience to God’s wisdom, peace often follows. You are no longer driven by pressure, guilt, or the need to please everyone. Instead, your decisions flow from a place of clarity and conviction.

Chemistry may draw two people together, but character, agreement in values and faith determines whether they can truly walk together.

You carry the life of Christ. You carry His righteousness. You carry His victory. That means your posture in life is not desperation; it is confidence. It is not heaviness; it is hope.

The word “Submission” could cause some people panic if you have the wrong perspective about it. Let’s dig in!

God is faithful to guide those who ask. When peace withdraws, it is not abandonment—it is direction. Pay attention.

Season 2 is going to be all about singles and dating and choosing well! Our theme is Wisdom before Attachment. It will also have bonus episodes like we had in Season 1!

This special bonus episode of Relationship Talk with Freda celebrates the release of the hard copy of my book, The Inside Job: Real Men and Emotional Intelligence. This work is a definitive, Christ-centered guide on emotional intelligence for men, especially in leadership and in love.

In this episode, we explore how emotional intelligence is formed and expressed through the life of Jesus Christ—examining how He responded to pressure, disappointment, and overwhelming situations with dignity, patience, assurance, and wisdom. The Inside Job offers a practical framework to help you understand your emotional life, exercise self-regulation, and align your responses with who God has called you to be.

This conversation is designed to equip you to live, lead, and love with clarity, strength, and Christ-like maturity.

Desire is powerful. There’s no doubt about that. It moves us, motivates us, and sometimes even feels like it’s guiding us. But here’s the truth: desire is not discernment.

In this episode, I share a bit more about my life and how I got here. It’s been a long journey but I’m glad I’m here by the grace of God.

If this is your first time listening, I’m truly glad you’re here. And if you’ve been part of this community for a while, thank you for staying connected.

Identity must come first. Knowing who you are in Christ gives relationships their proper place. It allows connection without dependency, closeness without control, and love without fear. From that place, intimacy becomes a gift—not a substitute for self-understanding.

If fear is leading your decisions, love is not. You can’t have both in the same place.

Today, we are addressing a belief many Christians carry quietly:

“Once I’m married, I’ll finally feel complete.”

Why do insecurities surface, triggers appear, and emotional wounds feel loud—especially in romantic relationships?

In part 1 of today’s episode, I want to address something many believers struggle with but rarely name honestly:

Why do relationships still hurt if I’m saved?

Welcome to our first episode of Relationship Talk with Freda❤️!