Relationship Truth: Unfiltered

Have you ever wondered whether staying in your marriage is what God truly requires of you — or whether that belief is actually a lie keeping you trapped? In this powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Charlene Quint, family law attorney, domestic abuse survivor, TEDx speaker, and founder of Abuse Care. Charlene brings a rare combination of courtroom experience, personal healing, and deep biblical grounding to one of the most urgent conversations women in destructive relationships need to hear. You will walk away with practical tools for leaving safely, a clearer understanding of what Scripture actually says about divorce, and the courage-building truth that God goes with his daughters into their promised land. Key Takeaways You Are Not Naive — These Men Are Skilled Actors Charlene opens with her own story: a CFO who did not see the signs during the love-bombing phase, who was coerced into signing a 28-page prenuptial agreement the day before her wedding, and who eventually left with nothing but a change of clothes in the trunk of her car. Her story is a profound reminder that education, intelligence, and faith do not protect a woman from a calculated abuser. The shame of asking "how did I miss this?" is one of the first lies that must be named and released.   Naming It Correctly Changes Everything Just as a doctor who misdiagnoses bronchitis when the patient has lung cancer will prescribe medicine that cannot heal, a counselor or pastor who frames abuse as normal marital conflict will offer tools that cannot help. Charlene and Leslie make clear that naming a behavior as gaslighting, coercive control, or abuse is not an act of bitterness — it is an act of clarity that finally gives a woman permission to seek the right remedy. Traditional marriage counseling applied to an abusive relationship is, as Charlene puts it, like taking aspirin and expecting it to cure cancer.   What the Bible Actually Says About Divorce One of the most important sections of this conversation walks through Deuteronomy, Malachi, and Matthew with careful, honest biblical scholarship. The long-repeated phrase "God hates divorce" is a mistranslation of Malachi 2, where God was actually condemning men who sent wives away without a certificate of divorce — abandoning women with no legal protection and no ability to remarry. Moses granted the certificate of divorce as a protection for women in a patriarchal culture. Jesus upheld that provision. God's heart, throughout all of Scripture, is consistently with the oppressed and against those who use power to violate others.   What Abusers Will Do During the Divorce — Without Exception Charlene is direct: there is a predictable playbook, and every woman deserves to know it before she is blindsided. He will play the victim. He will pursue parental alienation and social alienation. He will lie about finances. He will drag out litigation. He will volunteer visibly at church to build his reputation. Practical wisdom here includes gathering financial records before leaving, getting an order of protection if applicable, making divorce documents extremely specific about dates and terms, and — critically — keeping a poker face about what matters most to you. The moment he knows what you love, he will use it as leverage.   Healing Begins with Truth and Safe Community Charlene calls it the three Rs: Recognize the lies you have believed, Remove them, and Replace them with God's truth. Lies like "no one else will love me" or "if I just pray harder he will change" are the internal chains that keep women in destructive relationships long after the external danger is recognized. Surrounding yourself with safe, informed people — and not walking this road alone — is not optional. It is the path. And for church leaders who want to help, Charlene offers her BEARS framework: Believe her, Educate yourself, hold Abusers Accountable, Refer her to professionals, and Support her practically with housing, finances, court accomp

Show Notes   Have you ever wondered whether your faith was actually keeping you trapped in something God never intended for you? For Jennifer Brantley, that question took 36 years and a shattering moment of clarity to finally answer.   In this powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Jennifer — a speaker, author, and board-certified biblical counselor — who spent more than three decades in a marriage she never recognized as abusive, largely because legalistic theology had convinced her that silence was faithfulness and suffering was obedience. Together, Leslie and Jennifer unpack how distorted church teaching, spiritual manipulation, and deeply ingrained beliefs about submission kept Jennifer loyal, silent, and stuck — and how God's persistent grace, honest counseling, and the courage to get curious finally led her into genuine freedom. If you have ever been told that your pain does not count because there are no visible bruises, or that a good Christian woman simply tries harder and prays more, this episode is for you.   Key Takeaways   Legalism Can Make Abuse Invisible Jennifer spent 36 years in a destructive marriage without naming it as abuse — not because the signs were not there, but because every church message she received redirected the problem back to her. She was told she was not submissive enough, not prayerful enough, not attending the right women's conference. When she finally completed a diagnostic questionnaire from Leslie's book and scored 35 out of a possible range that flagged serious destruction at even a score of five, the word "abusive" became undeniable. The painful truth is that when theology is used to silence a woman rather than protect her, it becomes a weapon — and recognizing that distinction is often the first step toward freedom.   Allowing Someone to Sin Against You Is Not Godly Submission One of the most transformative moments in Jennifer's journey came when her counselor said something that stopped her cold: if you are not setting any boundaries and allowing your husband to face no consequences, you are allowing him to sin against you and against God. That reframe — from helpless victim to someone who actually held a measure of agency — changed everything for Jennifer. She had believed that enduring mistreatment was faithfulness. She began to understand that voluntarily removing herself from the path of ongoing harm was an act of stewardship, not rebellion. As Leslie reminds us, there is suffering you cannot control, and then there is suffering you are choosing not to resist. God does not ask us to be complicit in our own destruction.   Knowing Who You Are in Christ Is the Foundation of Every Boundary When Jennifer began to face pushback — being called a liberal feminist, watching friends disappear, losing the approval of her pastor and church community — the one anchor that held her was a simple handout she had long given to other women: a list of who you are in Christ, drawn straight from Scripture. She started reading it for herself. Understanding that she was the apple of God's eye, fearfully and wonderfully made, pursued by a Shepherd who left the 99 to find her — that knowledge slowly became more authoritative than anyone else's opinion of her choices. Leslie echoes this with a stunning quote she recently encountered in her own study: "Help me to believe the truth about myself, Lord, no matter how beautiful it is." When you let another person determine your worth, you are standing on quicksand. Your identity in Christ is the only ground solid enough to build a new life on.   Curiosity Is What Moves You From Certainty Into Freedom Jennifer's awakening did not come from a dramatic confrontation — it came from getting curious. She started attending a Bible study outside her church. She began reading Scripture in fresh translations and looking at the original Greek and Hebrew. She started asking questions that her church had always treated as dangerous. Leslie names this beautiful

You Don't Have to Heal Alone: Why Community Is Essential in a Destructive Relationship   Have you ever sat in a church pew, heard a message about forgiveness or submission, and walked away feeling more trapped than before — wondering if something was deeply wrong with you for still feeling unsafe? You are not alone, and this episode is for you.   Leslie sits down with Kelly Yazzie, our community manager in Conquer, for a raw and deeply honest conversation about why belonging to a safe, faith-based community is not a luxury for women in destructive relationships — it is a lifeline. Together they explore the scriptures that have been misused to keep women silent and stuck, how to hold onto a good God when the system fails you, and why real transformation only happens when information is met with courageous, supported practice. If you have been burned by community before, if you are questioning God's goodness in the middle of an unjust situation, or if you are simply exhausted from trying to figure this out alone, this conversation will meet you exactly where you are.   Key Takeaways Misapplied Scripture Has Kept Too Many Women Stuck — and That Is Not God's Heart Verses about forgiveness, mercy, and love covering sin have been pulled out of context in ways that pressure women to protect their abusive husbands from consequences and silence their own experience. Kelly unpacks Ephesians 5:11 — "Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them" — alongside Matthew 3:8 and Proverbs 28 to show that God does not call us to prop up unrepentant sin. Untangling forgiveness from reconciliation, and learning to watch for fruit of genuine repentance rather than words alone, is one of the most liberating shifts a woman in a destructive relationship can make. As Kelly states plainly: an apology without change is only manipulation.   You Are the Steward of You — And That Is Not Selfishness, It Is Faithfulness One of the most important truths in this episode is that no pastor, elder, counselor, or husband holds authority over your own welfare. Drawing from the sobering story in First Kings 13 — where a man of God is sidetracked by the counsel of another who claimed to speak for God — Kelly and Leslie remind women that others do not live in your home, and they do not live with the results of their counsel. You are the expert of your own situation. Learning to hear God's voice directly, trusting your God-given intuition, and reclaiming ownership of your own life is not rebellion; it is spiritual maturity and faithfulness to the person God created you to be.   When God Doesn't Fix It: Separating the Facts from the Story When a protection order is denied despite evidence of abuse, when a custody battle is lost by a mother who did everything right, the anguish is real — and so is the temptation to write a story about what that means about God. Leslie and Kelly walk through the critical practice of distinguishing the facts of a situation from the story we tell ourselves about why it happened. Asking "why did God do this?" often leads us into the same trap as Job's friends — assigning blame and shame where neither belongs. The more life-giving question is: what do I need from this? Where can I grow? How is God meeting me here? God is light; there is no darkness in Him at all, even when circumstances are painfully dark.   Community Is Where Transformation Actually Happens Information alone — no matter how biblical, how wise, or how perfectly taught — does not produce transformation. It is the practice, the support, the application inside a safe relational space that changes a woman from the inside out. Kelly describes how women in Conquer learn to use their voice, try new boundaries, share their failures without shame, celebrate their wins without apology, and eventually turn around to support someone just a few steps behind them. Relational trauma is healed in relationship, and a community where your humanity

Not Aware Enough or Doesn't Care Enough? Dr. George Simon on Character Disturbance and What You Can Control Have you ever walked away from a conversation with your husband feeling like you are the one who is losing your mind — even though you know something is deeply wrong? That disorientation is not a personal failing. According to today's guest, it is often the most reliable signal that something far more serious than a communication problem or personality clash is at work. In this powerful conversation, Leslie sits down with Dr. George Simon — internationally recognized authority on manipulation and character disturbance, and the man whose groundbreaking work first gave the world a name for gaslighting — to bring you the clarity so many women have been searching for. You will walk away understanding why character matters more than diagnosis, why confusion is a warning sign rather than a flaw, and what it actually looks like to love yourself and others well when you are living with someone whose character is deeply misaligned with love.   Key Takeaways Character Disturbance Is Not the Same as a Mental Health Diagnosis — and the Difference Changes Everything A person dealing with a genuine mental health condition, such as bipolar disorder, will typically respond to consequences with remorse, seek accountability, and cooperate with help. A character-disturbed person, by contrast, does not want to change — they like how they operate. Dr. Simon explains that the tactics most therapists and pastors were trained to use were designed for a completely different kind of struggle, and applying them to character disturbance is not only ineffective but can cause real harm. Understanding this distinction frees you from the exhausting and impossible task of trying to fix what only the other person has the power and responsibility to address.   Confusion in the Relationship Is a Warning Sign, Not Your Weakness Dr. Simon introduced the concept now widely known as gaslighting long before it entered everyday language, and he explains here exactly how it works on the mind. When a manipulative person acts with apparent conviction — minimizing what they have done, blaming you for provoking it, and reframing reality with intensity and certainty — they create genuine doubt in someone who is already unsure of their own worth. The key insight is this: you are not confused because something is wrong with you. You are confused because a skilled manipulator is working very hard to make you feel that way. Judging behavior on its own merits, independent of any excuse offered, is the first and most grounding step toward reclaiming your clarity.   They See — But in Their Hearts, They Still Disagree One of the most liberating truths in this entire conversation is Dr. Simon's clear-eyed statement: it is not that character-disturbed people do not see what they are doing. They see it. The problem is not awareness — it is that they do not yet care enough to change. You cannot think your way, plead your way, or love your way into producing that change in another person. Real change, if it comes at all, happens in the present moment through consistent, concrete behavior — not apologies, not tears, and not promises. Leslie reflects on how this understanding protects women from being misled by performances of remorse that have no roots in genuine character transformation.   Loving Yourself Is Not Selfishness — It Is the Starting Point of All Real Love Both Leslie and Dr. Simon return to this truth throughout the conversation: you cannot love another person well if you do not first know your own worth and act to protect it. Dr. Simon connects this directly to the command of Jesus — love as I have loved you — and challenges the misreading of Christian submission that leaves women spiritually equipped to endure harm but not to refuse it. Enabling someone else's destructive behavior is not love; it is fear dressed in the language of faithfulness. Withdrawin

Why Rejection Hits So Hard and How to Stop Letting It Define You Have you ever been blindsided by a betrayal so complete that it did not just shatter your marriage — it shattered the story you believed about yourself? One moment you thought you knew who you were, who he was, and who God was to you. And then the truth came out, and suddenly nothing felt certain anymore. In this episode, Leslie sits down with Emmy Award-winning television producer, author, and Chief Creative Officer of Joyce Meyer Ministries, Ginger Stache, co-author of the new book Healing the Wounds of Rejection. Ginger shares with remarkable honesty how the discovery of her husband's long-hidden pornography addiction brought her to her knees — not only in her marriage, but in her identity and her faith. Together, Leslie and Ginger unpack the specific lies rejection plants in a woman's heart, why feeling the pain of rejection is not weakness but proof you were made for love, and how God meets women in the darkness with healing they never saw coming. Key Takeaways   Rejection Attacks Your Identity, Not Just Your Relationship When Ginger discovered her husband's pornography addiction, she was not only stunned by the betrayal — she was stunned by how quickly it rewrote her story about herself. The questions came fast: What did I do wrong? Why am I not enough? Am I even lovable? Leslie points out that this is exactly what rejection does in a destructive relationship — it does not stay in the marriage, it moves into the marrow of who you believe you are. The critical first step is recognizing that what he chose is not a verdict on your worth. It is not a statement about you. The Lies Rejection Tells Are Predictable — and They Can Be Named and Refused Ginger identifies the most common lies rejection whispers: I will never be accepted. There is something fundamentally wrong with me. I cannot become who God made me to be because I am too broken. The key distinction she draws is between being rejected — which happens to every human being, including Jesus himself — and living rejected, which means allowing those lies to become part of your identity. Naming the lie is the first act of resistance. Replacing it with the truth of God's word is how the healing begins, one lie at a time. Feeling the Pain of Rejection Is Not Weakness — It Is What It Means to Be Human One of the most powerful moments in this conversation is Ginger's confession that she was ashamed of how hard rejection knocked her down — because she thought her faith made her stronger than that. Research confirms that the brain processes social rejection through the same pain pathways as a broken bone. God created you for love and connection, which means the ache of rejection is not a character flaw. It is the cost of being someone who loves. Leslie adds her own story of unexpectedly sobbing in a parking lot after being turned away at a pickleball court — and recognizing it as an old childhood wound asking to be seen and healed. Self-compassion, not self-criticism, is what opens the door. The Story of Leah Tells Us What Healing Actually Looks Like Ginger and Leslie turn to the story of Leah in Genesis 29 as one of the most honest and hope-filled pictures of what it looks like to move from rejection to rest. Married to a man who openly preferred her sister, Leah spent years trying to earn love through her children. But by her fourth son, something shifted. She stopped saying, Surely he will love me now, and said instead, This time I will praise the Lord. Healing did not look like Jacob finally choosing her. It looked like Leah choosing God as her source — finding that his love was not conditional on what her husband did or did not give her. That same shift is available to you. You Have a Choice — and Reclaiming It Is Where Healing Starts One of the most empowering threads running through this conversation is the call to reclaim your ability to choose in the middle of circumstances you did not choose.

Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "Maybe this time he really means it" — and then hated yourself for thinking it again? You are not weak. You are not foolish. You are caught in something far more powerful than willpower alone. In this deeply honest and compassionate episode, Leslie Vernick names two forces that work together to keep women stuck in destructive relationships: Hopium — the counterfeit hope dressed in spiritual language — and the trauma bond that keeps feeding it. You will walk away understanding what is actually happening in your mind, your body, and your faith, and you will leave with a clear framework, real questions to ask yourself, and the courage to trade a false hope for a genuine one. Key Takeaways Hopium Is Not Biblical Hope. Hopium sounds like faith. It uses words like trust, submission, forgiveness, and patience — but it places all the weight of your husband's choices onto your faith. True biblical hope, the kind found in Psalm 33, is rooted in God's character alone, not in a husband's potential or his latest promise. Leslie draws a clear and important line: God can change a heart, but God never forces a heart to change. Confusing those two things will crush you. Biblical hope gives you the courage to face reality; Hopium asks you to deny it. Trauma Bonds Are Real, and They Are Not Your Fault A trauma bond is a specific kind of toxic attachment created by three conditions working together: an imbalance of power, intermittent reinforcement (the cycle of warmth and cruelty that hijacks your nervous system), and coercive control, which in Christian settings often includes the weaponizing of Scripture. Leslie explains that trauma bonds are frequently mislabeled as godly virtues — long-suffering, loyalty, unconditional love — which is precisely what makes them so hard to name and so hard to leave. Even the Israelites, after escaping slavery, idealized Egypt and wanted to go back. That is not weakness; that is a predictable, understandable response to long-term trauma. Hopium and Trauma Bonds Feed Each Other These are not two separate problems. The trauma bond creates the neurological and emotional pull toward him regardless of what he does; Hopium gives that pull a spiritual costume. Instead of "I cannot stop wanting him even though he hurts me," it becomes "I believe God will restore this marriage." Instead of "my nervous system is hijacked," it becomes "I just need more faith." Leslie uses the disciples on the road to Emmaus as a powerful anchor: the hope they expected died, but Jesus was still walking right beside them. Your marriage may not become what you prayed for, and that grief is real — but God has not abandoned you. He offers his presence, his truth, and a different kind of hope than the one you expected. How to Tell Whether Change Is Real Leslie answers six listener questions with remarkable clarity, including the one so many women are afraid to ask: how do I know if his change is genuine? She introduces the framework of old history versus new history — what patterns defined the past, and what consistent new patterns are you seeing now, not just during the honeymoon phase and not just when he fears consequences? Genuine change looks like humility without minimizing, ownership without blaming, patience with your healing, and changed behavior that persists even when no one is watching. Using the language of change without the fruit of change is not change — it is manipulation. The HOPE Framework: A Practical Path Forward Leslie closes with a simple, memorable framework to help you take your next step.Honesty: what is actually true right now, what is the real pattern, what is the real impact on you and your children? Ownership: what is his work to do, and what is yours, and what have you been carrying that does not belong to you? Protection: what needs protecting right now: your body, your mind, your children, your finances, your faith? Empowered next step: what is one wise decisi

From Crazy-Making to Clarity: One Woman's Journey Out of a Destructive Marriage What do you do when you cry out to God at two in the morning — not because you are praying, but because you are too afraid to go to sleep?   That is exactly where Shelley found herself: a musician, a mother, a woman of deep faith living in Australia with a vision impairment, and a marriage that had quietly unraveled into something dangerous and demeaning. In this episode, Leslie sits down with Shelley to hear the story she could not tell for years — the moment she finally named what was happening, the community that reminded her she was not crazy, and the God who showed up in the most practical and tender ways imaginable. If you have been told to pray harder, submit more, and trust that God will fix it, this conversation will meet you exactly where you are and point you toward something better. Key Takeaways The Moment You Realize It Is Not Just a Hard Marriage For Shelley, the turning point came wrapped in a birthday gift — a beautiful purple shirt with a Proverbs 31 verse on it. When she asked her husband why he chose it, he told her he thought she needed a reminder to be kind to their children. That single moment cracked open years of confusion. Looking back, she recognized a pattern: extravagant public gifts followed by being called high maintenance, and birthdays that ended in tears. If you have been dismissing a pattern as immaturity or spiritual immaturity, Shelley's story gently invites you to look more honestly at what the pattern actually reveals.   You Cannot Conquer Your Marriage Until You Conquer Your Own Blind Spots One of the most courageous and unexpected things Shelley shared was her discovery inside the Conquer community of the drama triangle — and her own role in it. She had been rescuing, managing, and attempting to control her husband's behavior as a way of managing her own fear. As she put it, she realized she was in Conquer not to conquer her marriage, but to conquer her own pride, blind spots, and reactions. This is the kind of honest, growth-oriented work that goes beyond surviving — it is the work of becoming. As Leslie reminds us, being a true victim does not mean we have no work of our own to do. Healing work and growth work are both necessary.   You Are Not Crazy — You Need Community That Understands Shelley described the relief of finding a group of women walking a similar path not simply as encouragement but as sanity. Talking to a therapist every two weeks was not enough. She needed women who were wrestling the same questions with God, some two steps ahead of her and some two steps behind. The isolation of a destructive marriage — especially inside a church community that offers only submission and prayer — can make a woman doubt her own perception of reality. Being seen and heard by women who understand is not a luxury. It is part of the path back to clarity.   God Provides Through People — Even When the Church Has Failed You Shelley's exit from her marriage was not clean or simple. She faced a three-year property battle, children who chose to stay with their father, emergency housing challenges, and a previous church that told her to submit. And yet, God placed person after person in her path — a domestic violence support worker's wife, a church that paid her rent, a rental manager who went out of her way, a prayer meeting friend who became her disability support worker and sat with her through her final court appearance. Shelley's story is a living reminder that God's provision rarely looks the way we expect, and it almost always arrives through the hands and feet of ordinary people.   Your Life Has a Purpose Beyond the Role You Were Robbed Of Shelley is now pursuing her long-deferred dream of recording her original songs — music born from the middle of the painful years, written to reach other women still caught in the confusion. Her reflection is worth sitting with: she had been waiting all these y

How to Thrive as the Default Parent When you're doing it all in a neurodiverse family with Stephanie Holmes   What do you do when you are the only one who sees what your child needs, the only one managing the appointments, the IEPs, the protocols, the meltdowns, the mental load — and the other parent is sitting right there in the same house? If that question landed somewhere deep in your chest, this episode was made for you. Leslie sits down with Dr. Stephanie Holmes, a certified autism specialist, trained therapist for neurodiverse couples, and founder of Autism Spectrum Resources — a woman who has also lived this road personally as both a wife and a mother. Together they pull back the curtain on what it really costs a woman to carry the full weight of parenting a neurodiverse child alongside a disengaged or neurodiverse spouse, what it takes to finally speak up, and how you can protect your own mental, emotional, and spiritual health even when you cannot change your husband or your circumstances. You will walk away from this conversation feeling seen, equipped with practical perspective shifts, and reminded that your faithfulness to your children matters more than you can imagine. Key Takeaways   The Mental and Emotional Cost of Being the Default Parent Is Real — and It Is Not Weakness Stephanie describes nearly reaching a complete breakdown after years of functioning as the sole executive for her entire household — managing three neurodiverse family members, running a counseling practice, and absorbing every logistical, emotional, and spiritual demand without asking for help. The toll showed up as migraines, exhaustion, depression, and a crisis of faith. If you have been white-knuckling it through your days and wondering why you are falling apart when you look like you are holding it together, this is not a character flaw. It is the predictable result of one person carrying what two people were designed to share.   Lies Dressed as Biblical Mandates Can Keep You Trapped and Suffering Longer Than Necessary Stephanie carried a painful burden for years because a pastor told her in premarital counseling that if she chose to work outside the home, she could never ask her husband to carry any of the domestic load. She signed onto that belief at nineteen, never anticipating children, neurodiversity, or the reality of what their life would actually require. Leslie names this pattern directly — cultural ideas packaged as spiritual law that keep good women silent, overloaded, and ashamed to ask for what they need. Naming the lie is the first step toward freedom.   Making the Mental Load Visible Can Open a Door That Silence Never Could The turning point in Stephanie's marriage came not from an argument or an ultimatum, but from a simple, concrete act: she wrote every task down and laid both lists on the table. For her husband, seeing the imbalance visually was the thing that finally made it real. If your husband has not responded to your exhaustion or your words, it does not automatically mean he is cruel — it may mean he genuinely cannot perceive what he has never been shown. This does not excuse a lack of action, but it does suggest that a different kind of communication may open a different kind of conversation.   You Cannot Control the External, But You Can Steward What Is Internal Leslie offers one of the most grounding frameworks in the episode: when we are overwhelmed by everything we cannot control — our husband's choices, what happens on his parenting time, whether the school cooperates — we tend to redouble our efforts to control the external, which only deepens our distress. The real work, the work that actually moves the needle, happens inside. Choosing to build community, finding your support people, deciding who you want to be in the middle of this hard season — these are the things within your reach. As Stephanie says, she eventually made a decision: I am going to survive this and I am going to thrive despi

The Dignity LineHow to Recognize When Your Relationship Has Crossed It with Dawn Madsen Show Notes Have you ever found yourself unable to explain to a counselor, a friend, or even yourself exactly why your relationship feels so wrong — only to be met with "every marriage has problems" or "have you tried harder to communicate"? You are not alone, and you are not imagining it.   In this powerful conversation, Leslie sits down with Dawn Madsen — known to over a million women each month as The Minimal Mom — who spent years inside a relationship she could feel but could not fully name, until she developed a tool called the Dignity Line. Together, Leslie and Dawn walk through what it looks like when a relationship crosses from difficult into destructive, why even the most capable and faith-filled women stay far longer than they ever expected, and how rebuilding something as simple as your physical space can become the first thread in reclaiming your confidence, your voice, and your sense of self. Key Takeaways What the Dignity Line Is — and Why It Changes Everything   Dawn describes the Dignity Line as a clear threshold that separates normal relational breakdowns — where both partners can own their part, repair the rupture, and move forward — from patterns of treatment that communicate "your needs are negotiable and your pain is not my responsibility." Above the line, disagreements happen but do not involve name-calling, gaslighting, blame-shifting, or chronic entitlement. Below the line, those patterns repeat without genuine accountability or change. What makes this tool so meaningful for women in destructive relationships is that it moves the conversation away from diagnosis or labels entirely. You do not need to prove he is a narcissist. You simply need to look honestly at how you are being treated and whether your dignity is consistently honored or consistently dismissed.   Why You Stayed — and Why That Is Not a Failure One of the most compassionate and clarifying moments in this conversation is when Dawn and Leslie name together why leaving takes so long — and why that timeline deserves understanding rather than shame. When a relationship is not always bad, the good seasons create genuine confusion. The highs feel like proof that the real person is still in there, and that if you can just be the right kind of wife, you can call that person forward. What Leslie adds is equally important: those good seasons are often a strategy, not a transformation. The love-bombing, the apologies, the warmth — these can function to keep you cooperative, not because real change has taken root. Tracking patterns over time, as Dawn recommends, is not being unforgiving. It is being honest.   Why Traditional Tools Like Boundaries and Marriage Counseling Often Fail Here Dawn shares a story that will resonate deeply — setting a boundary, feeling proud of herself for finally doing it, and then finding herself comforting him on the way to the hardware store twenty minutes later. Her point is not that boundaries are useless; it is that boundaries only function as intended when both partners are operating above the dignity line. In a destructive dynamic, a boundary is often met with punishment, victim-posturing, or a quiet escalation that gets taken out on the children. This is not a failure of your boundary-setting. It is data. As Leslie reminds listeners: when you try something new and it gets worse rather than better, that is not evidence you did it wrong. It is evidence about the relationship — and evidence you can use.   Rebuilding Confidence in Practical, Everyday Ways Dawn brings a gift to this conversation that is entirely her own: the insight that simplifying and decluttering your physical environment is one of the most accessible ways to begin reclaiming your inner world. When you have been gaslit for years, your confidence in your own judgment erodes. But you can begin rebuilding it in small, low-stakes decisions — keep this, don

Tired of Being Dismissed? How to Stop Over-Functioning and Start Protecting Your Heart Have you ever found yourself explaining your needs — again — to someone who just doesn't seem to care? Or quietly wondering, *Is something wrong with me for wanting to be seen?* If that question has lived in your chest for too long, this episode is for you. In this warm, honest conversation, Leslie Vernick coaches Diana and Leanne sit down to tackle three of the most common — and most painful — questions they hear from women every day: Does lacking boundaries make me codependent? What's a healthy response when my needs are dismissed over and over? And where is the line between being responsible and over-functioning? You'll walk away with real clarity, practical language to use in hard moments, and the faith-rooted reminder that God never intended for you to erase yourself to keep the peace. --- Key Takeaways   A Lack of Boundaries Is Often About Survival — Not a Character Flaw Codependency isn't a label to shame yourself with — it's often a survival strategy that developed when you learned that love meant silence, sacrifice, and self-forgetting. As Coach Diana reminds us, many women were simply never taught that they were allowed to have needs. Mark 12:31 calls us to love others as we love ourselves — and that verse quietly assumes there is a self worth caring for. Boundaries aren't the opposite of love; they're how you love wisely without disappearing.   You Don't Have to Beg for What Love Gives Freely When your needs are dismissed again and again, your body begins to believe a lie — that you don't matter. Coach Leanne shares honestly that chronic dismissal wears down the soul and scrambles the mind. The healthy response isn't to fight harder for recognition; it's to notice the pattern, name what's happening, and then limit your vulnerability with people who have shown they won't honor it. Psalm 34 reminds us that God is close to the brokenhearted — and you always have an audience with Him, even when others keep turning away.   Speak Up — Then Let It Be on Them Coaches Diana and Leanne offer a powerful, practical framework: state your need clearly and honestly, make a note in your journal that you've said it, and then stop repeating yourself. You are not responsible for making someone understand what they are choosing not to hear. A simple, grounded statement — "I won't continue this conversation without mutual respect in the room" — is not drama. It is dignity. And once you've named it, the next step belongs to them. The Difference Between Helping and Rescuing Over-functioning crosses a line the moment you start doing for someone else what they are fully capable of doing for themselves — and it costs you something precious. As Coach Leanne puts it: *help empowers, rescuing enables.* If exhaustion, resentment, and fear have become your constant companions, that is your signal. Jesus is the Savior. You were never meant to fill that role — and sometimes stepping back is the most loving and courageous thing you can do, both for yourself and for the person you care about. You Get to Steward This One Precious Life One of the most beautiful threads woven through this entire conversation is this: you get to have a self. God doesn't ask you to be erased — He invites you to be grounded. Knowing who you are, what you value, and what you are and aren't responsible for is not selfishness. It is faithful stewardship of the life He gave you. When the fog of over-functioning and people-pleasing lifts, you make room to hear His voice again. --- Personal Invitation Friend, if self-doubt, perfectionism, comparison, or people-pleasing have been quietly running your life — this is your moment to take one brave step forward. I want to personally invite you to join us for Moving Beyond Insecurity Coaching Week — five days of practical teaching, live coaching, and biblical encouragement designed to help you stop living from insecurity and start walkin

When Conflict Feels Unsafe: How to Stay Open-Hearted Without Abandoning Yourself Have you ever known the “right” way to communicate, but in the heat of conflict, those tools seem to disappear? In this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Leslie sits down with psychologist, speaker, and author Dr. Kelly Flanagan to talk about what really happens inside of us when we get triggered—and how one small, sacred moment of choice can shift us from reactivity toward connection. Together, Leslie and Kelly explore why communication often breaks down within us before it breaks down between us, how to recognize when our hearts are closing, and why open-heartedness never means becoming a doormat. This conversation is especially meaningful for women navigating destructive, painful, or confusing relationships who want to grow in wisdom, courage, and Christlike strength without abandoning themselves.   Key Takeaways Communication Breaks Down Inside Us First Dr. Flanagan explains that many people already have communication skills, but when they feel threatened, hurt, or misunderstood, they “close the toolbox” right when they need it most. The real work is not just learning better words—it is learning to notice what is happening inside our bodies, hearts, and nervous systems when we become triggered. That moment of awareness creates a pause. And in that pause, we begin to recover our God-given agency to choose a different response. You Can Notice When Your Heart Starts to Close Kelly describes a triggered moment as a process: the nervous system activates, the heart begins to shift into protection mode, and then we make a quick, often unconscious choice about whether to close down or stay open. Leslie connects this with the biblical wisdom of Proverbs: “Above all else, guard your heart.” Guarding your heart does not mean hardening it. It means learning when to pause, when to regulate, and when to make wise choices about what you allow in and what you release. Open-Heartedness Does Not Mean Weak Boundaries One of the most powerful parts of this conversation is the distinction between an open heart and a lack of boundaries. Dr. Flanagan reminds listeners that the condition of your heart is an inner posture, while boundaries are outer actions. An open heart does not make your boundaries weaker—it makes them wiser. For women in destructive or emotionally unsafe relationships, this is crucial. Christlike love does not require self-abandonment, enabling, or pretending harm is not happening. Calm Yourself Before You Try to Connect Conflict escalates when we try to calm ourselves by controlling someone else’s behavior. Kelly uses the illustration of a furnace: when the “control board” inside us is malfunctioning, we often try to change the weather outside instead of tending to what is happening inside. Before we can connect well, we must first regulate. That may mean taking a break, breathing, praying, going to another room, or simply saying, “I’m triggered right now, and I need a little time before I can respond well.” Your Growth Is Never Wasted Leslie and Kelly offer hope for the woman who has tried everything to get her husband to communicate better, become safer, or look at himself honestly. While you cannot control another person’s choices, you can still do your own work. Even if the relationship does not heal the way you hoped, God does not waste your growth. As you become more whole, wise, and grounded, you are better equipped to make faithful, courageous decisions about what comes next. Dr. Kelly Flanagan is offering listeners a free video tutorial that walks through the nine-step process from his book, The Road Less Triggered, helping you begin moving from reactivity toward connection. To receive the resource, email: drkellybonus@gmail.com You will also be temporarily subscribed to his online community, The Less Triggered Tribe, with the option to unsubscribe at any time.   Friend, being triggered does not mean y

Parenting with Someone Who Is Emotionally or Spiritually Unsafe How do you parent well when the other parent is manipulative, emotionally unsafe, spiritually abusive, addictive, or simply unwilling to grow? It’s one of the most painful and exhausting realities many women face after separation, divorce, or even within a difficult marriage. In this powerful conversation, Leslie is joined by Michael and Kristin Cary of Living Truth Together to talk honestly about why “friendly co-parenting” is not always realistic—or safe—when the other parent continues destructive patterns. Together, they offer practical boundaries, faith-rooted wisdom, and compassionate guidance for moms who want to protect their children without badmouthing the other parent or getting pulled into more chaos. Key Takeaways Friendly Co-Parenting Isn’t Always Possible—or Safe Many women are told that if they communicate clearly, stay kind, and “do their part,” co-parenting will become peaceful. But when someone was unsafe in the marriage, separation or divorce doesn’t magically make them safe, reasonable, or cooperative. Michael reminds us that issues like sex, money, parenting, addiction, manipulation, and emotional abuse don’t disappear just because a couple is no longer together. In many cases, trying to co-parent closely with an unsafe person only creates more opportunities for harm. Boundaries Protect Your Soul and Reduce Unnecessary Conflict Kristin shares from her own experience of parenting with a toxic ex-spouse and explains how she learned to put strong boundaries around communication. That meant not answering phone calls, avoiding one-on-one texting when possible, using another person in written communication, meeting in public places, and limiting conversations to only what was necessary. These boundaries are not punishment. They are protection. As Leslie points out, when someone has repeatedly shown that engaging with them only brings arrows and harm, wisdom means accepting reality and choosing a safer way forward. Loving Yourself Is Not Unchristian Many women feel an over-spiritualized obligation to keep sacrificing themselves—to answer every question, calm every outburst, defend every accusation, or rescue the unsafe person from his own consequences. But Jesus told us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Kristin names a powerful truth: you have agency now. You have authority over your time, energy, body, and emotional well-being. Sacrifice is beautiful when it leads to life and love, but it is not godly wisdom to continually sacrifice yourself to someone who uses your availability to harm you. You Can’t Fully Protect Your Children, But You Can Equip Them One of the hardest truths for any mother is realizing she cannot completely shield her children from the other parent’s toxicity. Kristin shares the deep surrender of recognizing that God loves her son even more than she does—and that while she can make wise choices, she cannot control everything he experiences. That doesn’t mean doing nothing. It means helping your children recognize what is healthy and unhealthy, teaching them that they have choices, listening without using their pain as a weapon, and helping them build their own safety and discernment over time. Don’t Put Your Children in the Middle When the other parent blames, lies, or spiritually shames you in front of the children, it can be tempting to defend yourself by telling the whole story. But children should not have to carry adult burdens. Kristin offers a wise, age-appropriate response: “Adult problems are really complex, and sometimes adults hurt each other in ways children shouldn’t have to understand. This is not your fault. It is not your responsibility to fix it. I love you.” Leslie adds that if something untrue is said, you can calmly say, “That’s not true. Dad is hurt and angry, and he’s saying some things that aren’t true,” without attacking his character. You Still Need Support, Rest, and

Finding Life, Hope, and Healing After Divorce with Jessica Kastner Have you ever wondered if your story is over because your marriage ended? Divorce can feel like a death—of dreams, identity, family, and future. But in this tender and hope-filled conversation, Leslie sits down with author and speaker Jessica Kastner to talk honestly about divorce, grief, shame, healing, and the beautiful truth that God is still writing your story. Jessica shares vulnerably from her own journey through divorce, including the pain of rejection, the temptation to rush into another relationship, and the slow, sacred work of learning that God alone is enough. Together, Leslie and Jessica offer compassion, clarity, and biblical hope for women who feel broken, disqualified, or afraid that life will never feel whole again. Key Takeaways Divorce Is Not Your Identity Jessica reminds women that divorce may be part of your story, but it is not who you are. Your worth is not determined by whether someone chose you, stayed with you, or left you. God created you with purpose, dignity, and calling—and divorce does not cancel that. Grieving Is Necessary Before Rebuilding Too often, women try to numb the pain of divorce through dating, busyness, or distraction. Jessica honestly shares how rushing into relationships after her first divorce kept her from grieving and healing. Her encouragement is clear: give yourself time, sit with God in the pain, and allow Him to become your refuge. You Don’t Need a Man to Be Whole Leslie and Jessica talk about the difference between wanting companionship and needing a relationship in order to be okay. When another person becomes necessary for your worth, security, or identity, they take a place only God can fill. Healing helps you come into any future relationship as a whole adult—not someone looking to be completed. Co-Parenting Requires Grace, Boundaries, and Maturity Divorce creates painful complications, especially when children are involved. Jessica encourages women to focus on the children’s well-being rather than getting caught in power struggles with an ex-spouse. Leslie adds the importance of keeping your side of the street clean through wise boundaries, limited contact when needed, and calm, clear communication. Your Story Is Not Over Whether you remarry someday or remain single, your life still matters. Leslie and Jessica challenge the lie that your “best years” are behind you. With God, you can continue to grow, heal, serve, and become a stronger, wiser, more grounded version of yourself. Personal Invitation Feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to start? Get the Quickstart Guide and take your next step toward clarity, courage, and healing. Download the Quickstart Guide here: https://leslievernick.com/guide Friend, divorce may feel like the end of everything familiar, but it is not the end of you. God is not surprised by your pain, your questions, or your future. He is near to the brokenhearted, faithful in the wilderness, and able to bring beauty from ashes. You are not disqualified. You are not forgotten. And with God’s help, you can grieve, heal, grow, and step into the next chapter of your life with courage and hope.

Have you ever wondered whether what you’re living through is really abuse—or if maybe you’ve just been told for so long to “pray harder,” “submit more,” and “be a better wife” that you no longer trust your own reality? In this deeply honest episode, Leslie sits down with Kelly Yazzie, Leslie Vernick & Company’s community manager, to talk about her painful journey through sexual abuse, spiritual manipulation, coercive control, and the long road to clarity and healing. Kelly shares how years of harmful teaching, church responses, and confusion around what God really asks of women kept her trapped in a destructive marriage. But she also offers hope. Through Scripture, truth, support, and courage, Kelly began to reclaim her voice, rebuild her faith, and discover that God does not ask us to suffer our best for someone else’s worst. Key Takeaways Abuse can begin early and still be hard to nameKelly shares that the abuse in her marriage began on her honeymoon, yet it took her years to fully recognize it for what it was. When harmful behavior is wrapped in spiritual language or normalized by church culture, women often question themselves instead of naming the truth. Bad theology can keep women bonded to harmOne of the most heartbreaking parts of Kelly’s story is how often she sought help, only to be sent back into danger. This episode shines a light on how distorted teachings about submission, forgiveness, and suffering can be used to pressure women to endure abuse rather than wisely confront it. Biblical submission is not silence, coercion, or one-sided obedienceKelly unpacks how studying Scripture with fresh eyes changed everything for her. She came to see that biblical submission is mutual and rooted in reverence for Christ, not in domination, fear, or forced compliance. Healing begins when confusion starts to liftAfter discovering her husband’s adultery, Kelly began questioning everything she had been taught. Through Scripture, Leslie’s book The Emotionally Destructive Marriage, and the support of safe women, the fog began to clear and she could finally see the manipulation and control for what it was. You are the one who must choose before GodOne of the most powerful moments in this episode is Kelly’s reminder that she was the one who had to make the decision about her future. Even when spiritual leaders pressured her toward a certain outcome, she learned that a godly woman must discern, with God’s help, what is true, wise, and necessary for her own safety and stewardship. A Personal Invitation If Kelly’s story stirred something in you and you’re realizing you need clarity, support, and a safer next step, the Quick Start Guide is a wonderful place to begin. It’s designed to help you better understand what’s happening in your relationship, ground yourself in truth, and take wise, practical steps forward. Get the Quick Start Guide here: https://leslievernick.com/guide   Friend, if you have been living under the weight of fear, confusion, or spiritual pressure, please hear this: God sees you. He is not asking you to deny reality in order to be faithful. He is a God of truth, love, wisdom, and light. There is hope for healing. There is freedom on the other side of confusion. And with God’s help, you can reclaim your voice, renew your faith, and take your next step in courage.

Boundaries, Overfunctioning, and Finding Your Voice in Difficult Relationships Have you ever tried to set a boundary… only to feel shut down, ignored, or even guilted into backing down? In this honest and practical episode, Leslie is joined by trusted coach Diana Bala to walk through real-life questions women face every day—how to hold boundaries when someone is angry, how to navigate emotionally draining family dynamics, and how to stop overfunctioning in relationships. Together, they offer compassionate wisdom, biblical truth, and actionable steps to help you move from confusion and exhaustion to clarity and courage.    Key Takeaways 1. Boundaries Are About Your Actions—Not Controlling TheirsOne of the biggest misunderstandings about boundaries is thinking they’re about stopping someone else’s behavior. They’re not. Boundaries are about what you will do when someone behaves in a way that feels unsafe or unhealthy.Instead of saying, “You can’t yell at me,” a healthier boundary is: “I’m not willing to stay in this conversation when you’re yelling.” This shift empowers you to take responsibility for your own well-being. 2. Staying Grounded When Emotions EscalateWhen someone raises their voice or pressures you, your body naturally reacts. You may feel anxious, frozen, or overwhelmed—and that’s normal.Learning to regulate yourself in those moments—through grounding, breathing, and staying focused on your boundary—helps you avoid getting pulled into circular arguments. You don’t have to respond to every accusation; you can calmly repeat your boundary and disengage. 3. Small Boundaries Still Count (And Build Courage)If strong, direct boundaries feel unsafe or overwhelming, start small. Even saying, “I can’t talk right now,” or taking a break can be a powerful first step.These small shifts begin to change the dynamic. They also give you valuable information about how safe the relationship truly is—and whether additional support or a safety plan may be needed. 4. You Are Not Responsible for Other People’s ReactionsThis is one of the hardest truths to accept: people may feel disappointed, angry, or upset when you set a boundary—and that doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong.Just as Jesus didn’t say “yes” to everyone, you are allowed to honor your limits. You can be kind and empathetic toward someone’s feelings without taking responsibility for managing them. 5. Overfunctioning Keeps Others From GrowingOverfunctioning often comes from a good heart—but it can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and imbalance. It may even prevent others from stepping into their own responsibilities.Ask yourself: What am I getting out of this? and Is this actually helping—or enabling?Letting go of overfunctioning means setting internal boundaries first—deciding what you will and won’t carry—and then consistently following through, even when it feels uncomfortable.   If you’re in a relationship that feels confusing, draining, or even destructive, you don’t have to figure this out alone. The CONQUER Membership is a safe, faith-based space designed specifically for Christian women who want clarity, healing, and practical support. Inside, you’ll find biblical teaching, live coaching, and a community of women walking a similar path. 👉 Learn more here: https://leslievernick.com/membership   Friend, learning to set boundaries isn’t about becoming harsh or unkind—it’s about becoming whole. God cares deeply about your dignity, your safety, and your well-being. As you begin to take even small steps toward honoring yourself, you are also stepping closer to the life of peace and freedom He desires for you. You are not alone in this journey. With courage, practice, and God’s guidance, change is possible.

Healing After Betrayal – Moving from Broken to Brave with Tammy Gustafson Have you ever done everything you were told a “good Christian wife” should do—pray harder, forgive quickly, submit more—only to find yourself deeply betrayed and wondering where God is in the middle of it all? In this powerful conversation, Leslie sits down with counselor, speaker, and author Tammy Gustafson to talk honestly about betrayal trauma and the unique struggles Christian women face when their marriages are shattered by infidelity or sexual betrayal. Together, they unpack the spiritual confusion, misplaced responsibility, and emotional pain many women carry—and offer a path toward courageous, honest healing. If you’ve ever felt trapped between your faith and your pain, this episode will help you find clarity, permission, and hope for moving from broken to brave. Key Takeaways When Faith Messages Keep Women Stuck Many Christian women struggle to heal after betrayal because of harmful messages they’ve internalized—messages about submission, silence, and being responsible for their husband’s behavior. These teachings can make women feel small, guilty, or spiritually obligated to ignore their own pain. True healing requires untangling these distortions and rediscovering the heart of God, who sees and cares about the pain of betrayal. Anger Is Not the Enemy—It’s Part of Healing Anger is a normal and healthy response to betrayal. In fact, it’s often the energy that empowers women to set boundaries, find their voice, and begin healing. Tammy explains the difference between healthy anger, which helps us process grief, and rage, which harms. Suppressing anger often keeps women stuck, while honestly expressing it can move healing forward. Why His Healing Can’t Be Your Job After betrayal, many women instinctively focus on their husband’s shame, regret, or recovery. But this often stops the healing process. Tammy explains that true restoration begins when each person stays in their own “shoes”—the betrayer doing the hard work of repentance and change, and the betrayed partner focusing on her own healing. When that balance is restored, real transformation becomes possible. Forgiveness Has a Process—And It Can’t Be Forced Many Christian women are pressured to forgive quickly, but premature forgiveness can actually shut down the healing process. Forgiveness doesn’t mean the betrayal was okay, and it doesn’t guarantee reconciliation. Instead, forgiveness usually comes after truth-telling, grieving, and processing anger. When women allow healing to unfold in the right order, forgiveness becomes freeing rather than forced. Brave Healing Requires Strength and Self-Honor Moving from broken to brave means stepping into your God-given worth and refusing to minimize the harm done to you. It means honoring your grief, setting boundaries, and recognizing that you deserve safety, honesty, and respect. Though this path may feel unfamiliar—or even selfish—it is often the courageous step toward real healing and freedom.   If this conversation resonates with you, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to navigate these questions by yourself. If you’re wondering whether what you’re experiencing is actually abuse—even if there’s no physical violence—I invite you to join my upcoming workshop: Conquer Workshop: If He Doesn’t Hit Me, Is It Still Abuse? God Cares.Register here: https://leslievernick.com/masterclass This workshop will help you understand what healthy and unhealthy relationship dynamics really look like—and what God says about your safety, dignity, and well-being. Tammy is also offering a powerful resource for women navigating betrayal recovery: To access the freebie, click here: https://betrayalhealing.thrivecart.com/webinar-series-her-work/?coupon=LVFREE26 Her training will help you understand what helps—and what hurts—the healing process after betrayal.   Friend, if you are walking through the devastation of betrayal right now, please hear this: your pai

Finding Hope in the Deepest Pain   What happens when the unthinkable becomes your reality—and yet you still choose faith? In today’s deeply moving episode, Leslie sits down with Hope Hooton, a courageous mother, advocate, and follower of Jesus whose life changed forever in May 2024 when her two children, Alec and Lydia, were tragically killed during court-ordered visitation with their father. In the midst of unspeakable grief, Hope has chosen to trust God and use her voice to protect other children. Through her testimony, advocacy, and new memoir releasing today, Hope reminds us that even in devastating loss, God’s presence can still be found—and that purpose can rise from the deepest pain.   Key Takeaways Recognizing the Red Flags of AbuseLooking back, Hope can now clearly see the warning signs in her marriage—manipulation, gaslighting, emotional control, financial abuse, and power struggles. Abuse rarely starts dramatically; it often unfolds subtly over time. Naming these patterns is the first step toward protecting yourself and your children. When Systems Fail to Protect ChildrenDespite documented domestic violence and severe mental illness, the court granted Hope’s husband unsupervised visitation with their young children. This devastating decision highlights a heartbreaking reality many mothers face: the family court system often prioritizes parental rights over child safety. Faith That Holds in the Darkest NightAfter losing her children, Hope’s life as she knew it disappeared overnight. Yet in her grief, she clung tightly to God’s presence—spending time in prayer, journaling, and meditating on Scripture. Proverbs 3:5–6 became her lifeline: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Turning Tragedy Into PurposeHope refused to allow her children’s story to end in silence. Through her social media platform Hope In The Pain, she shares encouragement, faith, and the reality of walking through grief with God. She also hosts the Voices Against Filicide Podcast, raising awareness about domestic violence, the abuse cycle, and cases of child homicide across the country. Honoring Alec and Lydia Through AdvocacyHope is now working with Arizona lawmakers to create stronger protections for children in custody cases. Her advocacy is helping bring critical attention to how family courts handle domestic violence and mental illness when making custody decisions.   Resources Mentioned Hope’s New Memoir is Available TODAY (March 9):There's Still Hope: A Journey of Adversity, Tragedy, and Unbreakable Faith https://www.amazon.com/dp/1969338903 Arizona Legislation Honoring Alec & LydiaArizona legislation HB2995 has already passed the Arizona House of Representatives and is now moving forward to the Arizona Senate. This bill, referred to as The Alec and Lydia Act, aims to strengthen protections for children in family court cases by ensuring judges receive training in domestic violence, coercive control, trauma response, and mental illness when making custody decisions. Please join us in praying that this legislation passes the Arizona Senate, helping protect vulnerable children and families across the state. Hope’s Podcast:Voices Against Filicide Follow Hope on Social Media:Hope In The Pain (Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube) Hope’s Links and Advocacy Resources:https://linktr.ee/hopeinthepain?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=ccf41026-a8de-4055-9869-c221b71b91bf Personal Invitation If today’s conversation resonated with you—if you’ve ever wondered whether your relationship is simply difficult, deeply disappointing, or actually destructive—clarity is the first step toward wisdom and safety. Leslie has created a free resource to help you understand what you’re dealing with and what healthy next steps might look like. Download the Relationship Quick Start Guide here:https://leslievernick.com/guide This guide will help you discern the difference between difficult, disappointing, and des

Have you ever looked in the mirror and quietly wondered, “Who am I really?” Not what you do. Not the roles you play. Not what others expect of you. But who you truly are. In this deeply honest and hope-filled conversation, I’m joined again by our team coach, Susan King, as we explore what Scripture says about your identity—not just your duties. Together, we unpack how Christian women—especially those in destructive or emotionally unhealthy marriages—lose their sense of self and how to begin reclaiming the woman God created you to be. If you’ve been pretending things are “fine” when they aren’t, this episode will gently guide you back to truth, clarity, and courage. Key Takeaways 1. You Are Called to Be, Not Just to Do So many women are taught their role—wife, mom, helper—but not their identity. Yet Scripture tells us something far deeper. You are God’s handiwork (Ephesians 2:10). You are a chosen daughter, a royal priesthood, set apart and beloved. Before you accomplish anything, before you serve anyone, your identity is secure in Christ. When we begin reading the Bible not as a rulebook but as a mirror—asking, “What does this say about who God is and who I am?”—everything changes. 2. If You’ve Been Pretending, It’s Time to Come Home to Yourself One brave listener asked, “How do I find out who I am? I feel like I’ve been pretending most of my life.” If that’s you, start here: What have you been pretending to be? What would change if you stopped pretending? What virtues reflect who you truly are? Your identity is not your temporary emotions. It’s not others’ opinions. It’s rooted in your God-given character and values. Notice when you lose track of time because you’re fully alive. Notice what brings you joy. Notice what stirs your heart. These clues aren’t selfish—they’re sacred. 3. Why So Many Christian Women Lose Themselves In destructive or controlling marriages, women often experience subtle erosion—constant undermining, gaslighting, or isolation. Over time, they internalize the belief that their thoughts, needs, and feelings don’t matter. But even in “good” marriages, many women self-abandon. We’ve been taught that becoming “one” means losing ourselves. That loving means over-functioning. That serving means silencing our voice. That is not biblical oneness. That is erasure. Healthy oneness honors two whole people—each with a voice, a body, and a soul. 4. Caring for Yourself Is Stewardship, Not Selfishness So many women struggle with shame when they begin asking, “What do I need?” But Scripture never calls you to neglect yourself. Jesus modeled rest, solitude, nourishment, and boundaries. Stewarding your one precious life is not self-absorption—it’s obedience. When your tank is empty, you cannot love wisely. Putting your oxygen mask on first isn’t selfish; it’s responsible. Ask yourself: What brought me joy today? What drained me? What small change would help me show up as my best self? Small awareness leads to big transformation. 5. “He’s Fine”… But You’re Not One of the most painful dynamics women describe is this:“My husband acts like everything is fine. And I start doubting myself.” Here’s the truth:Things may genuinely be fine for him. But that doesn’t mean they’re fine for you. You are allowed to be a separate self with separate experiences. Instead of arguing about whether things are “really fine,” try saying:“I understand that this feels okay to you. But it’s not okay for me. And that matters.” Healthy love cares when something isn’t fine for the other person. If you’re realizing that you’ve lost sight of who you are…If you’ve been stuck pretending…If you feel erased in your own life… You don’t have to figure this out alone. Join Walking in CORE Strength, our transformational program designed to help you rediscover your voice, rebuild your confidence, and grow strong from the inside out—emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. Learn more and join here:👉 https://leslievernick.com/strong Sweet frien

Have you ever thought you finally met the right one—only to discover, painfully, that everything he said was a lie? In this powerful and deeply personal episode, Leslie Vernick sits down with media expert and speaker Beverly Hallberg to unpack her harrowing journey through a deceptive and destructive marriage. From whirlwind courtship to abuse behind closed doors, Beverly opens up about the spiritual confusion, grief, and courage it took to get free—and the God who never left her. This is an episode every woman navigating confusing relationship dynamics needs to hear. Key Takeaways “He Wasn’t Who He Said He Was”: The Power of Deception Beverly shares how her abuser cloaked himself in faith, family values, and kindness—appearing to be the ideal match. But soon after the wedding, the mask dropped. She explains how yellow flags were hidden in grief, charm, and shared spiritual language, making discernment incredibly difficult.→ You’re not foolish if you didn’t see it. These relationships are built on intentional deceit. When Abuse is Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual From subtle sabotage to explosive rage and spiritual manipulation, Beverly's marriage wasn’t just disappointing—it was destructive. She bravely recounts the patterns of control, harm, and gaslighting that unraveled her emotionally and physically.→ Abuse is not just about bruises. It’s about patterns that diminish, devalue, and destroy. God Doesn’t Value Marriage Over Safety Wrestling with Scripture and shame, Beverly found clarity in truth: God cares more about the people in the marriage than preserving the institution at all costs. Biblical wisdom and wise counsel helped her see that staying would harm not just her—but enable his sin.→ God does not call you to stay in harm’s way to keep a vow someone else already broke. Healing Isn’t Linear—but It’s Real Beverly shares her long road back to emotional and spiritual wholeness. From losing her in-laws to enduring an ectopic pregnancy alone, her healing came through community, Scripture, and reclaiming her voice.→ You can heal. It takes time, safe people, and honesty—but freedom is possible. To the Woman Who Feels Stuck: You Are Not Alone Speaking directly to women who may not have the resources or support Beverly did, she offers wisdom on safety planning, building a support system, and why even one safe parent can make all the difference for children.→ The first step is to tell someone. God will meet you as you take that step. Personal Invitation If Beverly’s story hit close to home, you might be wondering, How am I supposed to be OK, when he's not? That’s a critical question, and you don’t have to answer it alone. Leslie is offering a free, faith-based webinar designed to give you the clarity and confidence to take your next right step. During this free training, we will cover: How to clearly define your problem, the other person’s problem (at least in your opinion), and the problem in your relationship. The difference between love that’s motivated by fear and love that’s motivated by freedom—and what it takes to make the switch. How to listen beneath the surface of nice words, flattery, and love bombing to discern what’s true so that you can make good choices going forward. How to build your own internal strength so that his weaknesses—or yours—don’t get the best of you. ...and much more. Reserve your spot now: https://leslievernick.com/problem Beloved, God sees. He sees your tears, your confusion, your exhaustion—and He cares. You are not alone, and you are not beyond hope. No matter how deep the pain or how tangled the web, God is a God of truth, healing, and freedom. You don’t have to figure it all out today. Just take the next brave step. You were made for more than survival. You were made to live in peace, truth, and safety. Watch Mike Winger’s message on abuse and divorce: View Here

When Should I Talk to a Lawyer (Even If I'm Not Planning to Divorce?) Have you ever wondered if reaching out to a lawyer makes you disloyal—or unfaithful—to your marriage or to God?Many Christian women in painful or destructive relationships fear that even considering legal advice is a betrayal. But today’s episode is here to shine light on the truth: seeking legal counsel doesn’t mean you’re filing for divorce—it means you’re taking wise, informed steps to protect yourself, your children, and your peace of mind. Leslie welcomes back trusted friend and family law attorney Maryann Modesti, who brings over 30 years of experience and gospel-centered wisdom to this critical conversation. Whether you're feeling stuck, scared, or simply unsure of what’s next, this episode will empower you to walk in truth, courage, and godly stewardship—without shame. Key Takeaways 1. Seeking Legal Counsel is Not a Sin Talking to a lawyer does not equal filing for divorce. It's a step toward wisdom, clarity, and stewardship.God calls us to seek truth, especially when we’re confused or afraid. Consulting a lawyer allows you to understand your rights and responsibilities and prepares you for whatever path you may need to take next. 2. Red Flags That Signal It’s Time to Get Information Subtle but destructive behaviors—like isolation, financial control, hidden assets, gaslighting, or coercion—can erode your identity and safety. If you're constantly doubting yourself or feel emotionally trapped, it's time to seek clarity from a legal professional—even if you're not ready to leave. 3. Delay Can Have Serious Consequences Waiting too long can cost you financially, emotionally, and relationally—especially when children are involved. Without legal awareness, women risk losing financial control, custody advantages, and personal agency. Abuse often escalates, and silence can cause deeper damage over time. 4. Choose the Right Kind of Lawyer Look for integrity, experience, and someone who truly listens and understands the nuances of covert abuse, religious manipulation, or controlling behaviors. A trustworthy attorney doesn’t just fight—she counsels, balances wisdom with practicality, and helps you discern the cost of peace over the cost of war. 5. You’re Not Being Ungodly—You’re Being Wise God cares deeply about your safety, your sanity, and the well-being of your children. Seeking legal counsel is part of being a faithful steward of the life, resources, and role God has entrusted to you. Truth is never the enemy of faith—it is the foundation of it. Need Help Navigating These Hard Realities?If someone else’s behaviors are affecting your peace, we invite you to our free webinar: I'm Not Okay When You're Not Okay You’ll learn how to set healthy emotional boundaries, recognize what's yours to carry, and protect your well-being even when others don’t change. You Are Not Alone If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember this: gathering information is not rebellion—it’s wisdom.You don’t have to make big decisions today, but you do deserve to understand your options. God is with you in this process. He is for your dignity, your healing, and your future. You are not powerless—you are being equipped. And we’re walking with you.

Resilience After Abuse: What It Really Means and How to Rebuild Key Takeaways Have you ever felt so broken by your past that the idea of “resilience” feels impossible or even offensive?You're not alone. In this honest and hope-filled conversation, Leslie sits down with licensed therapist and trauma expert Tabitha Westbrook to unpack what true resilience looks like after abuse, trauma, or coercive control. They explore how healing is not about forgetting the past or slapping on a spiritual Band-Aid, but about gently—and courageously—cleaning off your front porch, one step at a time. If you're feeling numb, overwhelmed, or wondering why you're not "over it yet," this episode will ground you in truth, compassion, and practical steps to begin rebuilding—body, mind, and spirit. Key Takeaways from Today’s Episode: Resilience Isn’t Pretending It Didn’t HappenTrue resilience doesn’t mean denying the trauma or "getting over it." It means facing what’s been dumped on your porch—the trash, the rats, the grief—and slowly beginning to clean it up. You may not have caused the mess, but you are worthy of healing and peace. “You’re not responsible for the trash that was thrown on your porch—but you are responsible for whether or not you leave it there.” – Tabitha Westbrook Healing Happens One Bag at a TimeYou don’t have to sweep the entire porch in one day. Progress might look like removing one trash bag, asking a friend for help, or simply opening the front door. Healing is a slow, strengthening process. Each step builds capacity and courage. “Even if all you do today is open the door and breathe, that’s progress.” Boundaries Are Part of ResilienceSetting healthy boundaries with people who have harmed you—or who continue to—is not unloving. It’s wise. And sometimes, healing means evaluating whether certain relationships need to shift or even end. But estrangement isn’t always the only option. “Resilience includes discernment—who gets to come to the gate, who stays on the sidewalk, and who doesn’t get to be in your yard at all.” Your Body Is Not the Enemy—It’s a MessengerMany women have been taught to ignore their feelings or bodily cues, especially in the church. But trauma is stored in the body, and your body can alert you to danger or truth—even when your mind can’t make sense of it. Learning to listen to your body is a sacred act of healing. “Your shoulders don’t have lips—but they speak through tension, pain, and nausea. Listen to what your body is trying to tell you.” Triggers Are Opportunities, Not FailuresIf you're still getting triggered, it doesn’t mean you're failing. It means your body is showing you something that still needs tending. Healing is not linear—and it never ends this side of heaven. But each trigger is an invitation to deeper understanding and growth. “When you’re triggered, it’s not time to shame yourself. It’s time to ask: What is this showing me? Where do I still need care and kindness?” Feeling Stuck? You're Not Alone—And You’re Not Broken. If you’re in a season where even opening your front door feels impossible, please know this: You don't have to do it alone. Asking for help is a holy, courageous first step. Whether it's a friend, a support group, or a therapist, reaching out can be the beginning of your transformation. Final Encouragement Sweet friend, healing doesn’t mean you’ll never feel pain again—it means the pain won’t own you. You were made for more than just surviving. With God’s help and your brave yes, you can rebuild your life, reclaim your voice, and rediscover your worth. You are not too far gone. You are not too broken. And you are not alone. Learn more about Tabitha and her book: Body and Soul: Healed and Wholehttps://www.tabithawestbrook.com

When Healing Isn’t Instant: Reframing Mental Health, Faith, and Finding Your Next Step Have you ever wondered if your struggles with anxiety, depression, or trauma mean you're not “spiritual enough”? Maybe you've tried praying harder, reading your Bible more, or pushing yourself to “have more faith,” yet you're still stuck. If so, you're not alone—and you’re not doing it wrong. In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with one of our incredible coaches, Susan King, to explore the shame many women feel around mental health and emotional struggles. Together, we unpack harmful spiritual myths, why healing is often a journey, and how to take faithful, empowered steps forward—even when life feels overwhelming. Whether you’re navigating separation, burnout, or simply trying to figure out where to start, this conversation will offer you clarity, comfort, and practical wisdom for your next step.  Key Takeaways You Can Love Jesus Deeply and Still Need Help Too many women have been told that anxiety or depression means their faith is weak. Susan and I challenge this harmful belief, pointing to biblical figures like David, Elijah, and Paul—deeply faithful people who struggled emotionally. God meets us in our weakness, not with condemnation but with compassion. Spiritual Maturity Doesn’t Mean Avoiding Hard Emotions Misinterpretations of Scripture—like reading "do not be anxious" as a command rather than comfort—can lead to unnecessary guilt. Healing is a process, and God often uses tools like counseling, medication, and support to bring restoration. You’re not a failure if you need help. Your Desires Matter—Even in the Messy Middle We talk about the tension between accepting your current chapter and still longing for something more. Is it wrong to want change? Absolutely not. God invites us to co-author our story with Him. Discovering your God-given desires and letting go of comparison is part of living authentically and faithfully. Get Curious About Your Internal World When life feels overwhelming, it’s not just about a to-do list. Sometimes resistance comes from fear—of failure, disapproval, or making a mistake. We share powerful tools like brain dumping and identifying your internal vs. external work so you can get unstuck and take your next step with clarity. Small Steps Can Shift Everything Healing and change don’t require massive leaps. A 2% shift—whether that's taking a breath, letting go of perfectionism, or asking, “Who do I want to be today?”—can redirect your day and your life. Start small, stay curious, and trust that God is with you in every step. 💛 Ready for Real Change? Join Us in Empowered to Change If this conversation resonated with you, we’d love to walk with you further. Empowered to Change is our transformative coaching program designed to help women just like you break free from destructive patterns, build internal strength, and create real, lasting change—with God at the center. 👉 Join Empowered to Change today: https://leslievernick.com/growth   Sister, you are not broken beyond repair. You are not failing because you’re struggling. Healing is not a race—it’s a sacred journey. Whether you’re just beginning or you’re in the messy middle, know this: God sees you. He is with you. And step by step, with truth and grace, you can grow. You don’t have to do this alone. Let’s keep walking in truth—together.

What does it really take to go from paralyzing fear and emotional confusion to courageous clarity and freedom? In Part 2 of our conversation, Coach LeAnne Parsons continues her heart-stirring dialogue with three women who bravely walked the journey of healing inside Empowered to Change. This week, we go deeper—unpacking the exact tools, mindset shifts, and faith-filled decisions that helped them disentangle their lives and rediscover who they truly are in Christ. If you've ever felt stuck in shame, unsure if you could trust again, or wondered if real change is even possible—this episode is your answer. Key Takeaways from Today’s Episode Why They Finally Said Yes to HealingEach woman shares her unique tipping point—the moment when the pain of staying the same outweighed the fear of stepping into the unknown. For some, it was physical symptoms. For others, it was the ache of isolation. But for all three, it became clear: it was time to stop surviving and start healing. The Power of Safe, Christ-Centered CommunityHealing happens in the light. From hesitant strangers to trusted sisters, these women describe how their Empowered to Change group became a safe haven where their stories were honored, their pain was validated, and their growth was celebrated—without judgment, shame, or superficial fixes. Tools that Actually Change LivesFrom practicing hard conversations in the mirror, to disentangling emotional confusion with thought journals and boundaries, these women used practical tools that reshaped how they thought, spoke, and showed up in their relationships. This isn’t inspiration for inspiration’s sake—it’s real transformation, step-by-step. Confidence Built on Courage, Not PerfectionThey didn’t wait until they felt “ready” or confident. They showed up afraid—but they showed up. And as they practiced courage in community, confidence followed. As Christine beautifully shared, “Confidence is the fruit of choosing courage—even when your voice shakes”. Sustainable Change for the Long HaulNearly five years after completing Empowered to Change, these women are still growing, still connected, and still walking in truth. They’ve moved from reactive living to intentional, Christ-centered wholeness—testifying that healing isn’t a one-time moment, but a lifestyle of learning, growing, and living loved. Ready to Step Into a New Chapter? If their stories stirred something in your heart, maybe it’s your time too. Empowered to Change is a six-month coaching journey for Christian women who are ready to stop surviving and start growing. Whether you’re in a hard marriage, dealing with past wounds, or trying to reclaim your voice—you don’t have to walk it alone. 👉 Join Empowered to Change and experience a safe, Christ-centered community where healing is possible and growth is sustainable. Closing Encouragement Sister, healing takes courage, but you don’t have to be fearless to begin. If you’re tired of the fog, the shame, and the loneliness, let today be your turning point. You are not broken beyond repair. You are not too late. And you are never alone. Let God be the lifter of your head, and let us walk with you into a new chapter of healing and hope. Come and see—there’s more on the other side of your fear.

Have you ever looked at your life and thought, "I can’t keep living like this… but I don’t know how to change?" You’re not alone, friend. In this powerful episode, you’ll hear from three courageous women—Rhonda, Jill, and Christine—who were once stuck in confusion, fear, and shame. Now, they stand rooted in truth, strengthened by faith, and empowered by the work they’ve done inside the Empowered to Change program. Coach LeAnne Parsons sits down with these remarkable women, five years after their journey began, to reflect on where they were, how they’ve grown, and what God has done in their lives. If your heart feels heavy today, this episode will offer hope, practical insight, and a glimpse into what’s truly possible when you say “yes” to healing and to yourself. Key Takeaways from Today’s Episode From Lost and Ashamed to Seen and SupportedJill opens up about entering the program weighed down by shame, depression, and confusion. She believed she should have known better—but instead found a safe place where she was accepted, equipped, and no longer alone. Now, she walks in truth and dignity, not because life is perfect, but because she’s no longer powerless. Rediscovering Identity After a Lifetime of DependencyRhonda shares how she entered Empowered to Change with no clear identity, having lived in deep dependency her entire life. Marriage didn’t fix her wounds—it exposed them. Through the program, she learned to recognize her God-given worth, reclaim her voice, and stand firm as a grown woman walking in wholeness. A Journey from Confusion to Clarity, Rooted in ScriptureChristine recounts her fear and confusion before starting the program—feeling small, stuck, and isolated. But through scriptural truth, community support, and courageous steps, she’s now a Bible teacher and advocate, using her story to help other women find their way out of the dark. The Power of Safe Community and Shared GrowthAll three women emphasized how healing was multiplied in the context of safe, God-centered community. Their friendships have lasted well beyond the program, showing that transformation isn’t just a personal journey—it thrives in connection with others who see your pain, remind you of your truth, and cheer you on. Practical Tools that Build Emotional and Spiritual ResilienceFrom practicing healthy detachment, to learning how to speak up with confidence, to identifying cycles of dysfunction—these women testify that real tools and real growth are available. And while the journey wasn’t easy, it was absolutely worth it. Ready to Step Into Your Own Healing? If you resonated with Rhonda, Jill, or Christine’s stories, let this be your nudge. Empowered to Change is a six-month group coaching program for Christian women who are ready to take brave steps toward clarity, healing, and confidence. You’ll be supported every step of the way by a dedicated coach and a compassionate community. 👉 Join Empowered to Change today and discover how to rewrite your story—not as the victim, but as the hero God created you to be. Closing Encouragement Sweet sister, you are not too far gone, too broken, or too late. God’s mercies are new every morning, and healing is not only possible—it’s promised when we walk with Him. You are not alone. Your story matters. And with clarity, courage, and Christ, you can live free, whole, and empowered. Don’t miss Part 2 of this powerful conversation—coming next week, right here on Relationship Truth Unfiltered.

Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to love again after your heart has been shattered? Maybe you've walked through a painful divorce, betrayal, or even the loss of someone dear—and the thought of opening your heart again feels terrifying, or even wrong. In today’s powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michelle Hord, author of The Other Side of Yet, a woman who has endured the unimaginable: the murder of her daughter by her abusive ex-husband. But this is not just a story of tragedy—it's a story of grace, growth, and God's unexpected redemption. Michelle returns to share the sacred, surprising journey of rebuilding her life, falling in love again, and finding joy in a new marriage and motherhood after loss. She offers faith-filled wisdom on doing the internal work, discerning true safety, and honoring both grief and growth. If you’re wondering if God can write a new chapter in your story—this episode is for you. Key Takeaways: Healing Comes Before Rebuilding Michelle didn’t go searching for love—she focused on healing. Through grief, therapy, prayer, and service, she slowly began to rebuild from the inside out. She emphasizes that true readiness for a new relationship starts with doing your own work, not rushing into rescue. “You have one Savior—and you won’t meet Him at church or a party. Don’t look for someone to rescue you when God is the One writing your rescue story.” Emotional Safety Is Non-Negotiable After surviving emotional abuse, Michelle shares how she learned to recognize and prioritize safety over charm. In her new relationship, she tested boundaries, voiced concerns early, and paid attention to how her new partner responded to her “no.” “I realized that God doesn't want me to be with someone I fear. Respect, kindness, and feeling cherished are non-negotiables—not luxuries.” Guilt Isn’t a Prerequisite for Grief Michelle vulnerably shares the emotional tension of finding joy again after her daughter’s death—and how she wrestled with feeling “allowed” to experience happiness. She reminds us that grief and joy can coexist, and choosing joy honors those we've lost. “God's purpose for me didn't end with my daughter’s death. Joy doesn’t erase grief—it expands around it.” Redefining Strength and Speaking Up Many Christian women were never taught to know or express their needs. Michelle explains how learning to speak honestly, set boundaries, and stop minimizing her discomfort was key to breaking unhealthy patterns and cultivating real intimacy. “We often teach others how to treat us by what we tolerate. Don’t make yourself smaller for someone else’s comfort.” There Is Life After the Valley Today, Michelle is remarried to a man who cherishes her, and they share a son, Alexander. Her journey proves that even after devastation, God is still writing beautiful new chapters—not in spite of the pain, but through it. “God’s mercies are new every morning. He can bring light out of your darkest place—and it doesn't mean you’re forgetting what came before.” Personal Invitation: Ready for a Breakthrough? If you're resonating with Michelle’s story and wondering how to begin again—or even if you can—then don’t miss Leslie’s upcoming free webinar, Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough. You’ll gain clarity, courage, and biblical tools to stop spinning in circles and start stepping into healing. Register now at: leslievernick.com/stuck Closing Encouragement Friend, if you're listening today and your heart is aching, please hear this: your story is not over. What you’ve endured does not disqualify you from love, joy, or a meaningful life. Whether your grief is public or private, whether your pain feels “big enough” or not—God sees you. And He is not done. You may not have chosen the pain in your past—but you can choose your next step. As Michelle says, “There is always a yet.” And God is in the business of turning that “yet” into your next. Hold on. Healing is possible. With God’s help

Over-Functioning During the Holidays: Why Boundaries Matter More Than Ever Do you dread the holidays—not because you don’t love your people—but because you're already feeling stretched thin, emotionally exhausted, and maybe even a little resentful? You’re not alone. This week, Leslie Vernick and Coach Diana unpack what it looks like to stop over-functioning during the holidays by learning how to set boundaries—clearly, kindly, and biblically. From role-playing difficult conversations to exploring the internal guilt and fear many women wrestle with, this episode is packed with faith-filled insight and practical tools to help you protect your peace and prioritize what matters most. If you’ve ever felt selfish for saying “no” or guilty for disappointing others, this conversation will give you the clarity and courage you need to love well—without losing yourself. Key Takeaways 1. Boundaries Are God’s Design, Not Rebellion Boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re sacred. God set boundaries in creation, and He calls us to do the same. Boundaries reflect His nature of order, peace, and love. When we set boundaries, we’re not being harsh—we’re honoring God’s call to steward our time, energy, and hearts. "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." – Proverbs 4:23 2. Love Without Boundaries Isn’t Love—It’s Control When we can’t say no, our yes becomes meaningless. Love that’s forced or rooted in fear isn’t love at all—it’s obligation. God never forces us into relationship with Him. He invites, never invades. In the same way, healthy love must include freedom and choice. 3. Role-Playing Real-Life Scenarios Builds Confidence Leslie and Diana walk through real examples—like refusing to host Christmas, saying no to dog-sitting, or sticking to a spending limit. Each scenario highlights how to express a firm and loving no without over-explaining, defending, or absorbing guilt. These scripts show how clarity and compassion can coexist. 4. You Are Not Responsible for Other People’s Disappointment Someone else’s sadness, frustration, or manipulation does not mean you’ve done something wrong. Healthy boundaries often expose unhealthy dynamics. When others push back, it reveals their reliance on your compliance—not your care. "Let them have their feelings. It’s not your job to manage their emotions—it’s your job to steward your obedience to God." 5. Practical Tools for Calming the Guilt and Holding the Line You’ll learn how to: Prepare for pushback by getting clear with God ahead of time Use breathwork and body-awareness to stay calm under pressure Let silence do the heavy lifting after you’ve stated your boundary Anchor your identity in Christ, not someone else’s approval Use simple scripts to hold a boundary without getting defensive A Personal Invitation Are the holidays bringing up anxiety instead of joy? If you’re tired of the pressure to perform, please others, or over-function to keep the peace, Leslie’s resources can help you create emotional and spiritual breathing room. Register now for Leslie’s free workshop: Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Moving from Breakdown to Breakthrough Thursday, December 4th at 12pm or 7:30pm ET leslievernick.com/stuck Final Encouragement Friend, you don’t have to be everything to everyone this holiday season. You don’t need to hustle for love or sacrifice your sanity to make others happy. Boundaries aren’t walls to shut people out—they’re gates that let love in. You are allowed to protect your peace. You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to say no—with kindness, clarity, and courage. And when you do? You’ll be saying a much bigger yes to God, to emotional wholeness, and to the kind of love that sets both you and others free. You’ve got this—with God’s help.

How to Discern a Safe and Godly Man What does a safe and godly man truly look like? And how can you tell the difference between surface-level change and deep, lasting heart transformation? In this powerful episode, Leslie sits down with Michael and Kristen Cary, founders of Living Truth and creators of Men in the Battle and Women in the Battle. Together, they unpack the hard but healing truth about what real repentance looks like in a man, how to spot red flags—even when he seems "nice"—and why women need to do their own healing work, whether or not their partner is changing. With raw honesty and biblical wisdom, this conversation offers practical tools to help women discern character, build clarity, and courageously walk toward truth and safety. Key Takeaways True Repentance Goes Beyond Behavior Management Real heart change isn’t just about stopping bad behavior—it’s about digging deep to understand the “why” beneath it. Men who are truly repentant aren’t just trying to avoid consequences; they’re broken over the pain they’ve caused, open to feedback, and willing to do the long, hard work of healing. Women Must Heal, Too Betrayal trauma doesn’t just disappear with his sobriety. Even if the sexual sin wasn’t yours, the pain and damage are real. Healing requires tending to your own wounds, setting boundaries, and stepping into the work of becoming whole again—regardless of what he chooses to do. Believe the Behavior, Not the Words Change is seen in fruit, not phrases. Many men can talk the talk—especially in Christian circles—but safety is shown through consistent actions: humility, accountability, respect for boundaries, and emotional maturity. If he gets defensive, blames, or minimizes your pain, those are red flags—not repentance. When “Nice” Isn’t Safe Just because he’s nice doesn’t mean he’s safe. Safety means he can hear your truth without punishing you. He respects your "no," honors your boundaries, and doesn’t manipulate with guilt, fear, or Scripture. A man who is truly safe will prioritize your emotional and spiritual well-being—not just try to keep the peace. The Pain Must Be His Teacher—Not Yours Sometimes the only thing that wakes someone up is the pain of consequences. Staying “nice” to avoid upsetting him often prevents the very growth that’s needed. Love does not mean enabling sin. Godly sorrow leads to repentance—not just sorrow over being caught. If You're Struggling to Discern the Truth… If you’re unsure whether your marriage is just difficult, chronically disappointing, or truly destructive, don’t stay stuck in confusion. Leslie has created a free Quick Start Guide to help you gain clarity, take your next right step, and begin walking in truth. Download your guide here: www.leslievernick.com/guide To connect with Michael and Kristen Cary and explore their healing programs for men and women: Visit: www.living-truth.org Dear Friend, God is not asking you to sacrifice your safety, sanity, or soul to save a marriage that is wounding you. He calls us to walk in truth, not denial—to speak up, not shrink back. Even if he never changes, you can. You are not alone, and you are not powerless. With God’s help, you can move forward in wisdom, clarity, and courage—one brave step at a time.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and while we wish this wasn’t something we needed to talk about, it’s a heartbreaking reality—even among those who profess faith in Christ. In this powerful and eye-opening episode, Leslie speaks directly to women who are suffering in silence, helping them understand the truth about domestic abuse through a biblical lens. If you’ve ever been told to pray harder, submit more, or suffer silently for the sake of your marriage, this episode is a must-listen. With over 45 years of counseling experience, Leslie shares how abuse shows up in both obvious and subtle ways and offers practical, faith-based guidance for identifying abuse, responding wisely, and reclaiming your safety, dignity, and voice. Key Takeaways Domestic Abuse is Always Sin Domestic violence isn’t just about physical harm—it's any pattern of dishonoring behavior, including emotional, verbal, spiritual, financial, and sexual abuse. Abuse is never justified, never excusable, and always sinful. God’s Word calls us to honor one another as His image-bearers, and repeated harm without repentance is not just sinful—it's destructive. You Are Not to Blame Abuse is not a response to being provoked. Everyone gets frustrated, but each of us is responsible for our own actions and words. Ephesians reminds us: “In your anger, do not sin.” An abuser’s choice to harm is not your fault. You are not to carry the blame for someone else’s sin. Biblical Headship is Not About Control True biblical headship is never about domination or coercion. Biblical submission must be freely chosen—not forced. When power is used to silence, manipulate, or intimidate, it is no longer leadership; it is oppression. God’s heart is always for the oppressed, not the oppressor. God Cares About Your Safety The Bible does not ask you to stay in harm’s way. Proverbs 27:12 says, “The prudent see danger and take refuge.” God values your safety and sanity more than keeping up appearances. From Rahab to baby Jesus fleeing Herod, Scripture supports wise action to protect life and wellbeing. Speak the Truth and Allow Consequences Ephesians 5:11 tells us to expose the unfruitful deeds of darkness. Enabling sin through silence is not biblical. Loving your enemy doesn't mean tolerating abuse or reconciling without repentance. True change involves confession, visible repentance, and bearing the weight of consequences. Even David, though forgiven, faced the loss of his child as a result of sin. Healing Starts With Truth and Safety Are you feeling overwhelmed or unsure about what to do next? Start by taking one brave step toward truth and safety. Begin building a safety plan, speak up to someone you trust, and don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Romans 12:21 reminds us, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” You are not powerless. Choosing what is good might mean leaving, telling the truth, or finally saying "no more." If this episode spoke to your heart, and you realize you need help navigating a destructive marriage, please know you're not alone. We offer faith-based support and resources to help you move forward with courage and clarity. Visit https://leslievernick.com/guide to get your Quick Start Guide now. Dear friend, God does not call you to suffer in silence. You are His beloved daughter, worthy of safety, love, and respect. Abuse breaks the covenant—not you seeking safety. Take heart. You are not alone, and with God's help, healing and freedom are possible. May you find the strength to speak truth, seek safety, and walk forward in faith, one brave step at a time. For Biblical references, CLICK HERE

Have you ever felt like you’re barely surviving behind the scenes while projecting a picture-perfect life to the outside world? You’re not alone. In this powerful episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Coach Diana sits down with Jeannie—a homeschooling mom, writer, and woman of deep faith—who opens up about her journey from silent suffering as a pastor’s wife to finding clarity, healing, and her God-given voice. Through years of overfunctioning, pretending, and holding on to a crumbling marriage, Jeannie learned the life-changing difference between suffering silently and living in truth. Her story is raw, redemptive, and full of hope for anyone wondering if they’ll ever feel peace again.   Key Takeaways Overfunctioning Isn’t Strength—Truth Is For years, Jeannie believed that being a good wife meant suffering silently, forgiving endlessly, and making everything look okay on the outside. But through Leslie Vernick’s CONQUER and Walking in Core Strength programs, she discovered that true strength is not about carrying someone else’s sin—it’s about stepping into reality and living aligned with God’s truth. Survival Mode Isn’t Sustainable Jeannie’s life was marked by constant moves, ministry demands, and emotional neglect. She did what many women do—minimize, suppress, endure. But eventually, even her strong spirit broke. The turning point came not from hardship itself, but from being unseen, unheard, and spiritually isolated. That’s when she realized: living in non-reality wasn’t faith—it was fear. God's Peace Follows Obedience to Truth Learning the difference between forgiving and trusting, honoring God over pleasing people, and choosing obedience over image changed everything for Jeannie. Isaiah 54 became her anchor—God as her Redeemer and Husband. As she let go of false beliefs and idols like marriage and image, peace finally moved into her home and heart. Purpose Can Be Reborn in the Ashes After her husband left, God breathed life into Jeannie’s long-dormant writing dreams. Within hours, a publisher emailed to accept her article. Soon after, her children’s book was published. Her obedience opened the door for God to redeem her pain and restore her voice—not just for her healing, but for others. You Don’t Need to Know the Whole Path—Just Do Today If you’re stuck, afraid, or overwhelmed, Jeannie offers this grace-filled reminder: You don’t need to figure out the next ten steps. Just do today. One faithful, truthful step at a time. With God’s help and the support of wise others, you can do hard things—and you don’t have to do them alone. Jeannie’s journey shows how easy it is to get lost in confusion, questioning your own reality and wondering if things will ever change. She learned that facing the truth, even when painful, was the very doorway to peace and freedom.And if you find yourself wondering whether the man in your life is truly changing or just putting on another mask, there is a safe place to explore that question. 👉 Register for the free Conquer Workshop: Is He Changing, or Just Pretending? Click here to save your spot. Friend, if you feel lost, confused, or weary from carrying the weight of a destructive relationship, take heart. You are not weak—your perseverance proves your strength. But you don’t have to live in survival mode any longer. God sees you. He values your voice. And He is writing a new chapter in your story—one filled with peace, purpose, and unshakable hope. You are never alone when you walk with Him.

Welcome to Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, where we bring truth with love to the tough topics of emotionally destructive relationships. In today’s special Coaches Takeover episode, Leslie Vernick team coaches Diana Bala and Susan King dive into people-pleasing, insecurity, and the transformative path toward freedom in Christ. We’re fresh off our 5-Day Insecurity Coaching Challenge—and in this conversation, we’re going even deeper. In This Episode: A recap of the 5-Day Insecurity Challenge: Self-doubtShame and guiltPerfectionismThe inner criticPeople-pleasing Highlights from the week: Women developing hope beyond shame and guilt Experiencing Scripture in new, life-giving ways Recognizing the hidden faces of insecurity Key Insight: The Many Masquerades of Insecurity Diana and Susan unpack the ways insecurity often masquerades as something good—but at a cost: ✅ Kindness Saying yes to everything, avoiding conflict Underneath: fear of rejection, desire to be liked Truth: Kindness includes boundaries ✅ Humility Downplaying strengths, deflecting compliments Underneath: fear of being judged, imposter syndrome Truth: Humility is not shrinking ✅ Responsibility Overfunctioning, taking on others’ problems Underneath: need to feel needed Truth: Healthy responsibility knows what is yours and what is not ✅ Peacemaking Avoiding hard conversations, keeping silent Underneath: fear of conflict Truth: Real peacemaking requires courage and truth ✅ Flexibility Always going along, hiding preferences Underneath: belief your needs don’t matter Truth: Flexibility shouldn’t erase you Why Do We People-Please? To avoid conflict, rejection, or feeling like a burden It often begins in childhood: Conditional love or safety Messages like “Be a good girl,” “Don’t upset your father” Approval as currency for worth How Do We Transform? Change your inner narrative: “I must earn love” ➜ “I am already worthy.” Embrace agency, reclaim your God-given identity, and practice compassion for the part of you that learned to survive by pleasing. 🌟 Featured Tool: The Truth & Trade Exercise A simple, powerful way to interrupt people-pleasing patterns: 1️⃣ Pause & Name the Pattern Notice when you’re saying “yes” when you mean “no” Ask: What am I afraid will happen if I don’t please? 2️⃣ Identify the Hidden Belief E.g. “If I disappoint them, they won’t love me.” “Saying no makes me selfish.” 3️⃣ Speak the Truth “My worth is not dependent on someone else’s opinion.” “Boundaries create healthier relationships.” Biblical grounding: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God?” — Galatians 1:10 “Let your yes be yes and your no be no.” — Matthew 5:37 4️⃣ Make the Trade “I trade my fear of disappointing others for honoring my limits and values.” Then take the aligned action. Next Steps If you joined our challenge this week—you didn’t just learn about insecurity. You moved through it. But this is just the beginning. If you’re ready to live out what you’re learning, join us in our Moving Beyond People-Pleasing Flexible Coaching Experience. It’s time to move from: Performing ➜ Presence Guilt ➜ Groundedness Pleasing everyone ➜ Becoming your God-given self 👉 www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse Groups start this week—plenty of times to join! Final Words “Thank you for letting us be a voice in your ear and a companion in your heart. You are not alone. You don’t have to keep performing for love that’s already yours.” We’re closing out our Coaches Takeover for the summer but will return in the fall! Until next time—be kind to yourself, stay curious, and keep moving forward. Learn More & Join Coaching: www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourseSubscribe for Updates: www.leslievernick.com

📌 Episode Summary: In today’s episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, host LeAnne Parsons, Professional Certified Coach and trauma-informed practitioner on Leslie Vernick’s coaching team, sits down with Vickie a woman whose life was built on saying yes to everyone—until she learned how to say yes to God first. From taking on adult responsibilities at age six to becoming everyone’s helper as a wife, mom, and ministry leader, our guest was admired for her generosity and "niceness"—but underneath was exhaustion, resentment, and a quiet spiritual disconnect. Through the Moving Beyond People Pleasing program, she discovered the profound difference between being nice and being kind, between serving others and submitting to God's voice. She shares how learning to pause, ask God first, and honor the boundaries He helped her set brought incredible freedom—and how the courage to speak up, receive coaching, and be honest with herself changed everything. This conversation will inspire any woman who has ever felt burned out, invisible, or afraid to say no. 🔑 In This Episode You’ll Hear: How people pleasing became part of her identity from childhood The moment she realized “niceness” was costing her more than she knew Why being honest with God and herself was the most loving thing she could do What it’s like to speak up for the first time in a safe coaching environment How biblical boundaries led to peace, clarity, and confidence in daily life Why “If it’s not a firm yes, it’s a hard no” became a spiritual anchor The beauty of flexible coaching and sacred sisterhood in a Christ-centered program 🧭 Key Quote Highlights: “I thought I was honest. But I was saying yes when my heart was screaming no.” “I assumed I was serving… so how could God not be in it?” “If I didn’t have a firm yes, the answer was a hard no.” “God didn’t ask me to be nice—He asked me to be faithful.” 📖 Anchor Scripture: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” — Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV) 🙋‍♀️ Are You Ready to Move Beyond People Pleasing? If this story hit home for you, we invite you to join our Moving Beyond People Pleasing summer coaching experience. It’s flexible. Faith-centered. And filled with powerful tools, real-time support, and a community of courageous women walking toward truth, wholeness, and peace. 👉 [Link to Learn More + Sign Up]

Have you ever felt like you were losing yourself just to keep the peace? That you were constantly saying “yes” when your heart was crying out “no”? If you’ve ever struggled with people pleasing—especially in the wake of betrayal or in the midst of a painful marriage—this episode is for you. In this powerful Coaches Takeover episode, Coach Diana Balla and Coach Susan King are joined by Mara, a courageous woman who vulnerably shares her journey through profound betrayal, emotional trauma, and ultimately, healing and transformation. Mara opens up about how Leslie Vernick & Co.’s “Moving Beyond People Pleasing” flexible group coaching experience helped her reclaim her voice, clarify her identity, and set boundaries that honor her God-given worth. Get ready to be deeply encouraged and inspired. Key Takeaways: 🔹 Trauma Opens the Door to Transformation When Mara discovered her husband's decades-long betrayal, including hidden addiction and abuse, it shattered her world. But in the rubble, God met her. Her raw honesty about her trauma response—and how deeply betrayal by a spouse can impact the body and soul—will resonate with anyone who has felt broken by someone they trusted. 🔹 “I Didn’t Know It Was Abuse” Before the discovery, Mara believed she was simply in a dysfunctional marriage. Through Leslie’s book “How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong” and the Conquer program, she began to see the patterns of manipulation, control, and gaslighting that had long been present. Her story illustrates how education and support can awaken truth and offer a path to freedom. 🔹 A Safe, Flexible, and Powerful Coaching Experience The Moving Beyond People Pleasing group gave Mara the structure, support, and accountability she needed to begin showing up for herself. With multiple weekly call options, compassionate coaches, meaningful breakout groups, and a loving community, Mara found a space where she could be seen, heard, and healed—even when she had no words to pray. 🔹 From Silence to Strength: Naming Her Needs and Setting Boundaries From rejecting fake flowers she hated to creating three pages of firm, self-honoring boundaries, Mara learned how to stop abandoning herself and start living out her values. One breakthrough moment? Identifying her core fear—being alone—and learning not to let it dictate her choices. 🔹 Healing is Possible, and You Are Worth It With raw honesty, Mara shares how she moved from suicidal despair to spiritual connection, and how God faithfully met her—even in the silence. Her journey is a powerful reminder that healing doesn’t come from trying harder, but from training—and that transformation is possible when you stop people pleasing and start living from your God-given identity. ✨ Call to Action: Ready to Break Free from People Pleasing? If you’ve been touched by Mara’s story and are ready to start your own healing journey, we invite you to join us for our 6-week flexible group coaching experience, Moving Beyond People Pleasing. Starting July 14th, this empowering program offers live coaching, a supportive sisterhood, and the tools you need to reclaim your voice and your life. 👉 Learn more and register today at: www.leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse 💛 Closing Encouragement: Dear one, you don’t have to keep living in fear, confusion, or exhaustion. You are not alone—and you are not powerless. God sees your pain and wants to meet you there. Healing is hard, but it’s holy work. You are worth the effort. Your story matters. And your life can be rebuilt—beautifully, boldly, and with Christ at the center. We’re here with you every step of the way. Keep showing up. Keep training. And always remember: you are precious, you are loved, and you can be well. 🎧 Listen now and share this episode with someone who needs encouragement today.

Are you constantly saying “yes” when your heart is screaming “no”? If you’ve ever felt like your worth hinges on making everyone around you happy, this episode will speak directly to your heart. Coaches Susan and Diana pull back the curtain on one of the most sneaky and exhausting insecurities many of us carry—people pleasing. It might look like kindness on the outside, but underneath it’s often driven by fear, insecurity, and a longing to feel safe and loved. In this honest, grace-filled conversation, they explore why people pleasing starts, how it hides in our habits, and what it takes to break free. You’ll walk away with powerful mindset shifts, biblical wisdom, and a simple but life-changing tool to begin honoring your voice without guilt. Key Takeaways from This Episode: 🎭 People Pleasing Is About Survival, Not Kindness Many of us learned early on that approval equals safety. Saying yes, keeping the peace, and over-functioning became our armor. But as adults, that armor becomes a prison. True kindness includes honesty, boundaries, and self-respect. 💔 The Cost of People Pleasing Is Your Voice When you constantly put others first to avoid rejection, you risk losing yourself. The result? Exhaustion, resentment, and invisibility. Susan and Diana break down the emotional toll of people pleasing and why it’s not selfish to want rest, space, or to simply say “no.” 🛑 A Pause Is a Powerful First Step One practical tip? Pause before you say yes. Give yourself permission to check in—am I agreeing from love or fear? That moment of reflection invites the Holy Spirit to guide your response rather than your insecurity. 📖 Boundaries Are Biblical, Not Selfish Even Jesus said no. He walked away from demands, rested, and stayed rooted in the Father’s will—not public opinion. Saying no doesn’t mean you’re unloving. It means you’re growing into the person God designed you to be—whole, grounded, and free. 💡 You Don’t Have to Earn Love—You Already Have It At the core of people pleasing is the lie: I have to earn my worth. But Romans 5:8 tells us that Christ loved us at our worst. You don’t have to perform, prove, or please to be worthy. You already are. Ready to Break Free from People Pleasing? Join our Insecurity Coaching Challenge, starting June 23rd. In just one week, you’ll uncover the roots of insecurity and gain the tools to reclaim your voice, set godly boundaries, and walk in confidence. 👉 Sign up for only $17: www.leslievernick.com/challenge You Are Allowed to Take Up Space You are not mean for saying no. You’re not broken for needing rest. And you’re not selfish for wanting to live honestly. The journey out of people pleasing isn’t about becoming hardened—it’s about becoming whole. You are already loved, already worthy, and already enough. Let today be your first step toward freedom. 💬 Share this episode with a fellow recovering people pleaser—you’re not alone.

🌟 Episode Overview: Welcome back to Relationship Truth Unfiltered. In today’s episode, we go beyond the surface and straight into the heart of what it looks like to move from insecurity to identity, from people pleasing to peace. LeAnne sits down with a courageous woman who has walked through divorce, fear, performance pressure—and found her footing again in Christ. This episode isn’t polished or perfect. It’s powerful, raw, and real. Through this deeply personal and hope-filled conversation, you’ll hear: What life looked like before the Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge The surprising realization that even “strong” women can fall into people pleasing The “aha” moment when boundaries and God’s truth collided in the best way How Scripture became an anchor, especially Galatians 1:10 (NLT) What has changed since the challenge—and what’s still being practiced with grace You’ll walk away feeling encouraged, grounded, and ready to take your next step toward freedom. 💬  Key Quotes: “Saying yes to others meant I was constantly saying no to myself.” TC “God has a plan and purpose for my life—and I can’t fulfill it if I’m giving the best of me to everyone else.” TC “Healing is not only available—it’s already begun.” LeAnne Parsons 🧭  Takeaways: Insecurity and people pleasing can be subtle—and powerful. But they don't have to define you. Boundaries aren’t selfish; they’re sacred. Especially when anchored in truth. Your story can shift. And God will meet you in the middle of the mess. 📖 Scripture Anchor: Galatians 1:10 (NLT)“Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.” 🕊️  Three Words to Describe Her Journey: Illuminating. Empowering. Liberating. 🔗  Resources Mentioned: The Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge – https://leslievernick.com/challenge 🙌  Connect + Share: If this conversation spoke to your heart, we’d love for you to share it with a friend or leave a review. It helps more women find their way to truth, wholeness, and healing. 🧡 You’re not too much. You’re not too late. And you’re never walking alone

In this heart-opening episode, Coach LeAnne Parsons takes us deep into the hidden ways insecurity can shape — and sabotage — our identity in Christ. With wisdom, compassion, and biblical clarity, she gently exposes how fear, shame, and striving disguise themselves as humility or responsibility, keeping women stuck in small stories that God never wrote. This episode is a powerful primer for LV and Cos Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge Week, and it offers a blend of practical insight, Scripture-rich truth, and spiritual invitation to trade fear for freedom — starting now. Whether you're confident in your calling or still wrestling with worthiness, this episode will remind you: You are already His. And that changes everything. 🔑 What You'll Learn: How insecurity quietly rewrites your story without you realizing it The difference between true humility and spiritualized fear What Scripture says about your unshakable identity in Christ Common lies Christian women believe — and the truth that breaks them Why "heartwork" is the missing piece in your healing journey A behind-the-scenes look at the Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge Week — and how to join 📖 Scriptures Mentioned: Genesis 3 – The first appearance of shame Isaiah 43:1 – “I have called you by name; you are mine.” Romans 8 – Our adoption and inheritance in Christ 2 Corinthians 12:9 – God’s power in our weakness Ephesians 2:6 – Seated with Christ in heavenly places ❤️ Quote to Remember: “You cannot live out your calling while constantly questioning your worth.” – LeAnne Parsons “Heartwork is the intentional process of inviting God to transform what’s going on beneath the surface — your beliefs, your wounds, your identity, your patterns.”  –LeAnne Parsons “We cannot walk in victory and believe we are failures.” – Beth Moore 🔗 Links & Resources: 💻 Register for the FREE Moving Beyond Insecurity Challenge Week: 👉 leslievernick.com/challenge ✍️ Want a journaling prompt or two from today’s episode? Join our email list for bonus content. 📚 Check out Leslie’s books, coaching info, and Bible-based resources: 👉 leslievernick.com 🙏 Leave a Review: If this episode spoke to you, would you take a moment to leave a review? It helps more women find encouragement and truth in the middle of their own insecurity battles. 🎧 Subscribe & Share: Don’t miss next week’s Challenge Kickoff episode! Subscribe wherever you listen, and share this episode with a friend who needs a reminder that she’s already enough in Christ.

“People pleasing isn’t love. It’s fear dressed up as kindness.” Have you ever gone along to get along? Said yes when you really wanted to say no? Diminished your desires, your boundaries, or even your calling—just to avoid conflict or gain approval? If so, you're not alone. In this heartfelt and eye-opening Coaches Takeover episode, Coaches Diana and Susan unpack one of the most common struggles among women: people pleasing. With honesty, biblical insight, and hard-earned wisdom, they dive into the roots of this behavior, share real stories of personal growth, and offer gentle but practical steps to help you stop abandoning yourself—and start showing up with truth, courage, and strength. Whether you've been stuck in patterns of self-sacrifice, afraid to speak up, or just feeling exhausted from trying to keep everyone happy, this conversation will meet you with grace and give you tools to walk in freedom. People Pleasing Is a Form of Self-Abandonment At its core, people pleasing happens when we silence our own needs, wants, or convictions in favor of someone else’s. Whether out of fear of rejection, a desire to keep the peace, or a longing for approval, this behavior often stems from insecurity and a loss of self. Susan shares how people pleasing is about needing something from others (like validation or acceptance) and sacrificing yourself to get it—often without even realizing it. You Can’t Heal What You Don’t Notice One of the most powerful things you can do is pause and pay attention. Diana and Susan remind us that many women have been conditioned (in families, churches, or culture) to believe that “being nice” means suppressing their true selves. But without self-awareness, people pleasing becomes an automatic pattern that robs us of authenticity and connection. Naming it is the first step to breaking free. Personal Stories Reveal the Cost of People Pleasing Diana vulnerably shares moments in her life where fear of disappointing others led to missed opportunities—including a professional invitation she turned down simply because she didn’t ask for what she needed. Susan reflects on how being trained as a therapist to be a “blank slate” magnified her already strong pattern of disappearing for others. Their stories highlight how people pleasing may seem noble—but often leads to regret and invisibility. Reclaiming Your Voice Takes Practice—and Courage Breaking free from people pleasing means learning to notice your own preferences, to ask for what you need, and to tolerate the discomfort of not pleasing everyone. This isn’t selfish—it’s sacred. As Susan and Diana point out, many women have never developed a strong sense of self, or it’s been erased by years of criticism or control. Rebuilding it is part of healing, and it takes time, support, and practice. Your Purpose Matters—Don’t Let Fear Steal It People pleasing often leads to lost opportunities, diminished confidence, and emotional exhaustion. But God created you with purpose and worth—and you don’t have to keep hiding or hustling to prove yourself. With the right tools and support, you can step into truth, draw healthy boundaries, and become the strong, faithful woman God called you to be.

“You’re not alone, you’re not crazy—and with God’s help, you can build confidence and walk in truth.” Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? Like you didn’t belong or couldn't trust your own decisions? Maybe you’ve wrestled with anxiety before speaking up, or feared being rejected in relationships. If so, you’re not alone. In this special “Coaches Takeover” episode, Coaches Susan and Diana get real about a struggle that touches every woman at some point: insecurity. They peel back the layers to explore what insecurity really is, how it forms, how it shows up in everyday life—from career and finances to relationships and social settings—and how to move forward with confidence, clarity, and faith. With biblical insight, relatable stories, and practical tools, this episode will help you identify hidden roots of insecurity and take the first step toward freedom. Understanding the Root of Insecurity Insecurity isn’t just a feeling—it’s often a long-standing belief shaped by past wounds, trauma, criticism, or comparison. Susan and Diana explain how insecurity is usually built on perception rather than truth, and how that perception becomes a lens that affects everything from your self-worth to your ability to make decisions. Types of Insecurity—and Where You Might See Yourself From public speaking to parenting, marriage to money, insecurity shows up in many forms: personal, relational, social, professional, and financial. The coaches share vulnerable stories from their own lives (yes, even beach towel choices and Ph.D. paths!) to illustrate how insecurity can limit growth and paralyze action. The Body Keeps the Score Insecurity doesn’t just stay in your head. It shows up in your body—through anxiety, overthinking, or even chronic stress. You’ll learn how physical dysregulation can keep you stuck and how being curious (not critical) about your reactions can be a powerful path to healing. Shifting from Perfectionism to Purpose When insecurity drives perfectionism, it keeps you focused on your flaws instead of your impact. The coaches offer a mindset shift: let go of the need to be perfect and embrace being human. Showing up, even imperfectly, is powerful—especially when you focus on helping others rather than proving yourself. From Shame to Strength: A Biblical Perspective Going all the way back to Genesis, we see insecurity take root when we begin to question who we are and who God is. Susan and Diana remind us of the enemy’s tactics and encourage us to put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10–12), standing firm in truth and identity as beloved daughters of the King. You Are Not Alone Friend, insecurity may whisper that you’re not enough—but the truth is, you are deeply loved, uniquely created, and equipped by God for purpose. You don’t need to stay stuck in fear. With His help, you can show up strong, stand in your worth, and walk in freedom. We’re so glad you’re here. If this episode encouraged you, would you share it with a friend or leave a review? You never know who might need the hope and healing God has for them through your simple act of sharing. Until next time, keep leaning into courage, wisdom, and the One who loves you most.

In this tender episode of Unfiltered Truth, Coach LeAnne shares one brave woman’s deeply vulnerable question about parenting in the wake of trauma—and the grace-filled truth we all need to hear. If you’ve ever reacted in anger and wondered, “What’s wrong with me?”—you’re not alone. Through a trauma-informed, Christ-centered lens, LeAnne explores how past wounds shape present responses and offers practical tools to begin breaking reactive cycles with compassion, courage, and truth. You’ll learn: Why trauma often shows up in parenting How to pause before reacting What it means to name your triggers How to repair ruptures and reset relationships Where God’s grace meets us in our weakness Featured Scripture: 2 Timothy 1:7 Psalm 4:4 Psalm 139:23–24 Hebrews 12:1 2 Corinthians 12:9 Resources Mentioned: Read the full blog post: When Trauma Shows Up in Parenting → https://leslievernick.com/blog/understanding-and-breaking-the-cycle-of-trauma-responses-in-parenting/ Learn more about Trust-Based Relational Intervention® (TBRI): - https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/trust-based-relational-intervention-tbri-works-leanne/ Want to coach with LeAnne or the team? Learn more about our community. Visit: https://leslievernick.com/coaching/ Subscribe to Relationship Truth Unfiltered so you never miss an episode!

In this deeply personal and powerful kickoff to the Coaches Takeover Series on Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, join Certified Coaches LeAnne Parsons and Diana Bala as they pull back the curtain on their personal stories of people-pleasing, performance, and purpose—and how God has faithfully redeemed it all. With warmth, honesty, and Christ-centered wisdom, LeAnne and Diana share how their journeys of healing led them to coaching—and why they are passionate about walking alongside women in emotionally destructive relationships today. This episode will help you feel seen, known, and invited into your own transformation. You’ll discover that you don’t have to disappear to keep the peace, and you don’t have to perform to be loved. If you’ve ever thought, “Maybe it’s me,” or “Is it selfish to say no?”—this episode is for you. What You'll Hear in This Episode: Personal stories of people-pleasing and the protective roles it plays Moments of transformation that shifted everything Why coaching is a sacred and powerful tool in healing journeys How Scripture anchors the work of both coaches Real, practical first steps to move beyond fear-based approval-seeking Encouragement that you are not too messy for God’s love—or His purpose Anchor Scripture: “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”— Galatians 1:10 (NLT) Quotable Moments: “You don’t have to disappear to keep the peace.” – LeAnne “People-pleasing wasn’t my personality—it was my protection.” – LeAnne “It’s maturity, not selfishness, to know who God made you to be.” – Diana “Your ‘no’ can be holy when it honors your God-given priorities.” – Diana Ready for More? Learn more about coaching with our team:www.leslievernick.com/coaching Subscribe to Relationship Truth: Unfiltered so you don’t miss what’s next! Share this episode with a friend who needs encouragement and truth today. Leave a review—it helps others find the same support and strength. Closing Prayer Highlight: “You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. And with God’s help, you can live in truth, walk in CORE strength, and reclaim your voice.” – LeAnne Sneak Peek: Stay tuned for upcoming episodes featuring powerful client stories of transformation and live Q&A sessions with your coaches. Real questions, real answers, rooted in real hope.

In this special episode, LeAnne Parsons (PCC, TBRI Practitioner, and coach on Leslie Vernick’s team) shares an exciting update. With Leslie’s full blessing and invitation, the coaching team is stepping in to bring a new Coaches Takeover Series to the podcast! You’ll hear encouragement, real transformation stories, and coaching insights that align perfectly with the biblical foundation and trauma-informed care this podcast is known for. Expect practical tools, Christ-centered truth, and deep reminders that your healing matters and your voice is not too much. Highlights: Why Leslie invited her coaching team to take the mic What’s ahead in the new Coaches Takeover Series Why this message of healing, boundaries, and truth matters more than ever A personal encouragement from LeAnne Galatians 1:10 (NLT) Learn more: www.leslievernick.com/coaching Don’t forget to subscribe, share, and leave a review!

Have you ever felt like you've lost yourself trying to make a relationship work?You go through the motions, trying to be the "good wife," the "submissive woman," the "faithful helper"—but deep inside, something feels off. You’re exhausted, resentful, and unsure how you even got here. In this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Leslie welcomes psychotherapist and leadership coach Michelle Moffitt for a candid conversation about what it means to wake up, reclaim your voice, and start honoring the woman God created you to be. Michelle shares her personal journey of trauma, toxic theology, and eventually rediscovering her worth and agency through therapy, self-awareness, boundaries, and faith. You’ll learn how to stop playing small, listen to your intuition, and begin transforming not only your relationships—but your life. 👉 Learn more about Michelle and her work at www.michellemoffitt.com   Key Takeaways: 💔 The Cost of Losing Yourself for the Sake of “We”Michelle opens up about how early trauma and religious pressure led her to sacrifice her identity in order to find belonging. Many women will relate to that pull to be the perfect wife or partner—only to realize they’ve abandoned themselves in the process. Leslie and Michelle expose the lies women are told in church and culture, and the real cost of losing your authentic self. 🧠 Rebuilding Trust in Your Intuition and JudgmentOne of the deepest wounds in destructive relationships is losing the ability to trust your own gut. Michelle introduces the SPACE tool (Stop, Present, Ask, Change, Express) to help you slow down and become more conscious of the beliefs that are driving your decisions. You'll learn how to retrain your brain to hear God’s voice and your own again. 🛑 Boundaries Aren’t Mean—They’re HolyIf you’ve been over-functioning or enabling dysfunction for years, stepping into new boundaries can feel “mean.” Michelle shares practical examples and scripts that helped her draw lines without shame or cruelty—and how those boundaries started to shift the entire relationship dynamic, even when it wasn’t received well. 🧩 The Power of the Enneagram in HealingUnderstanding your Enneagram type can be a powerful tool for healing and growth—especially if you’ve been stuck in people-pleasing patterns or don’t even know what you like anymore. Michelle explains how the Enneagram goes deeper than personality tests to reveal hidden motives, helping you understand not only yourself, but others, with compassion and clarity. 🗣️ Reclaiming Your Voice—and Why It Changes EverythingUsing your voice isn’t just about confrontation; it’s about becoming who God made you to be. Michelle and Leslie talk about the discomfort of change, the fear of being alone, and the beauty of showing up in the world as your full self. If you've ever asked, “What’s wrong with me?”—this episode will help you ask instead, “What’s right with me that I’ve buried for too long?” 🌱 Ready to Begin Your Own Healing Journey?If you’re feeling stuck, silenced, or unsure of your next step, you don’t have to walk alone. Leslie’s Conquer program is designed to help Christian women break free from destructive relationships and find clarity, confidence, and courage—grounded in truth and God’s love.👉 Learn more at www.leslievernick.com/conquer 💛 Closing Encouragement:Sister, you are not selfish for wanting to be whole. God didn’t create you to be a shadow of someone else—He created you to reflect His image. As you reclaim your voice, your boundaries, and your purpose, remember: You are not alone. You are not crazy. And with God's guidance, you can do this. Step by step. One brave decision at a time.

What do you do when trust is shattered, but no one around you seems to take your pain seriously?In today’s deeply honest and hope-filled episode, Leslie sits down with Nick Stumbo, former pastor and Executive Director of Pure Desire Ministries, who opens up about his personal battle with pornography—and the profound impact it had on his wife, his marriage, and his ministry. Nick's story isn’t just one of addiction—it's about healing, honesty, and hope when everything seems lost. Together, Leslie and Nick dismantle toxic messaging that pressures wives to “just forgive” or “have more sex,” and instead offer a biblical and brain-based path toward real recovery—one that honors both the betrayed and the struggler. If you or someone you love is silently suffering in a marriage affected by pornography, this episode will remind you: You’re not alone, and your healing matters.   🔑 Key Takeaways: 1. Pornography Is Not Just a “Men’s Issue”—It’s a People Problem Nick shares eye-opening statistics from Pure Desire’s recent Barna study, showing that over half of practicing Christians admit to viewing pornography, including 40% of Christian women. This isn’t about pointing fingers—it’s about lifting the shame and creating real solutions. “Porn is not a minor issue. It’s undermining the heartbeat of our marriages and families.” 2. Real Healing Begins When the Struggler Takes Full Ownership For 10 years, Nick’s wife forgave his repeated confessions. But healing didn’t begin until Nick recognized the impact of his actions on her heart. It wasn’t enough to try harder—he had to go deeper. “Her pain wasn’t the problem. My choices were. When I stopped minimizing her hurt and started listening, everything changed.” 3. Rebuilding Trust Requires Consistent Action, Not Just Apologies Nick offers practical examples of what rebuilding trust looked like in his marriage: weekly check-ins, recovery groups, full honesty, and showing—not just saying—change. He emphasizes that wives need to see patterns of safety, not just hear promises. “Trust is rebuilt when words and actions align over time—not when you demand forgiveness before you’ve earned it.” 4. Churches Must Stop Prioritizing Reconciliation Over Healing Leslie and Nick both challenge churches that urge women to reconcile prematurely, while ignoring their trauma. Healing isn’t about keeping the marriage together at any cost—it’s about helping both people get healthy, whether or not the marriage survives. “The greatest hope for a reconciled marriage is two healing people—not one healing while the other continues to harm.” 5. Community Is Essential—For Both the Betrayed and the Struggler Nick explains how Pure Desire’s gender-specific recovery groups changed everything for both him and his wife. In community, they found tools, support, and the courage to stop hiding. “You cannot heal in isolation. We were never meant to carry this alone.”   💌 A Personal Invitation If you're feeling exhausted, stuck, or unsure if your marriage can survive the devastation of pornography, there is a path forward. Whether you're the one who struggles—or the one who’s been wounded—your healing matters. 👉 Learn more about Pure Desire Ministries and find recovery resources here: puredesire.org👉 Looking for support for destructive or emotionally abusive relationships? Explore Leslie’s programs here: leslievernick.com   💖 Closing Encouragement Friend, if you're hanging on by a thread, hear this: God sees your pain. He hears your cries. And He cares deeply about your healing.You don’t have to keep doing the same destructive dance. Whether your spouse is ready or not, you can start getting healthy today.There is hope. There is help. And there is freedom—one courageous step at a time.

What if the marriage you fought to save was the very thing destroying you? In today’s raw and courageous episode, Leslie sits down with Naghmeh Panahi, a woman many first heard about when she passionately advocated for the release of her husband, Pastor Saeed Abedini, imprisoned in Iran for his Christian faith. But behind the public story of courage and faith, Naghmeh was quietly suffering in a destructive and abusive marriage. Naghmeh shares for the first time some of the hidden truths behind her story—how culture, Christian teaching, trauma bonding, and spiritual confusion kept her trapped in abuse, and how God gently led her out of the rubble and into healing. Her story is not just about abuse; it’s about redemption, truth, and discovering her worth as a cherished daughter of God. Whether you’ve questioned if your marriage is abusive, struggled to reconcile your faith with your suffering, or wondered if healing is even possible—this episode is for you.   💡 Key Takeaways from Today’s Episode 🔍 Abuse Isn’t Always Obvious—But Your Body KnowsEven after experiencing physical violence, Naghmeh didn’t initially see herself as an abuse victim. Cultural and Christian teachings told her to be submissive, to not trust her feelings. But she shares how her body, her spirit, and God’s truth began revealing what her mind had been trained to ignore. 🚩 Early Red Flags and Trauma BondingFrom the beginning, Saeed criticized her appearance, isolated her from her family, and crossed sexual boundaries during their courtship. These moments formed deep trauma bonds that left her feeling trapped. Naghmeh bravely names the molestation she experienced and the misplaced shame that kept her silent. 🛑 When Faith Is Twisted to Justify OppressionRaised in Middle Eastern and conservative Christian cultures, Naghmeh was taught to value the institution of marriage over her personal safety. But she powerfully unpacks how Jesus does not call us property—He lifts, honors, and protects women. She reminds us that the God of the Bible hates the oppression of women, not those who break free from it. 💔 From Rubble to Revival—God RebuildsNaghmeh shares how, after her story went public, she endured severe backlash from the Christian community—but also found a deeper intimacy with God in the wilderness. Through tears, silence, and surrender, God slowly rebuilt her life, her joy, and her calling. 🌍 God Is Using Her—and He Can Use You TooNow leading a thriving ministry reaching Iran, Afghanistan, and beyond, Naghmeh testifies that God still uses broken women. Her story proves that divorce is not disqualification—and that freedom leads to fruitfulness. Her vibrant joy and spiritual strength are evidence of God’s redemptive power. 💌 Are You Ready to Step Out of the Rubble? If Naghmeh’s story resonated with you, know this: You are not damaged goods. It’s not too late. You can get out. You can heal. You can rebuild.   🙏 Closing Encouragement Sister, God never asked you to sacrifice your soul to save a marriage. He sees your pain. He honors your tears. And He’s not done with your story. Like Naghmeh, you may feel broken right now—but broken is not the end. It’s the beginning of something sacred, strong, and free. Let God rebuild the ruins. Let Him plant deep joy where sorrow once lived. You are His beloved daughter—and your healing brings Him glory. You are not alone.

Have you ever wondered if healing is truly possible after the deepest kind of betrayal? Maybe you’ve been carrying the weight of shame, confusion, or silence for years. Or maybe someone you love is walking that road and you don’t know how to help. In this honest and hope-filled episode, Leslie is joined by Tabitha Westbrook, licensed therapist, abuse recovery expert, and survivor, for one of the most vulnerable conversations we’ve had yet. Tabitha courageously shares parts of her own story of sexual abuse—both in childhood and in marriage—and offers profound insight into what real healing looks like. Together, Leslie and Tabitha explore how trauma impacts our bodies, our faith, our sexuality, and our relationships—and how God gently invites us toward wholeness. Whether you’re walking through this journey yourself or supporting someone who is, you’ll leave this episode with truth, compassion, and a renewed sense of hope. 💡 Key Takeaways from This Episode: 💔 Healing Isn’t a Straight Line—It’s a Sacred JourneyTabitha shares that healing happens in layers. Just when you think you're “done,” God may bring something new to the surface—not to punish you, but to lovingly bring it into the light. There is no shame in needing more healing. 🖐️ Your Body Wasn’t the Problem—Abuse WasFor survivors, it’s common to disconnect from the body or view it as broken. Tabitha helps us reframe that: Your body isn’t your enemy. Gentle, safe touch—even starting with placing your hand over your heart—can begin the work of restoring trust and safety in your own skin. 💬 The Church Needs to Stop Being SilentToo often, women go to their pastors first—and are met with harmful advice or spiritual platitudes. Tabitha urges churches to get trauma-informed, stop shaming survivors, and become places of real healing, not deeper harm. 🕊️ Yes, We’re Talking About Sexuality—With GraceFrom reclaiming sexual health to navigating masturbation, orgasm, and pleasure after trauma, Tabitha speaks boldly and biblically about the realities many Christian women face. God designed sexuality to be good—and healing in this area is possible. 📘 New Resource: Body & Soul, Healed & Whole by Tabitha Westbrook We’re thrilled to celebrate the release of Tabitha’s brand-new book, Body & Soul, Healed & Whole: An Invitational Guide to Healthy Sexuality After Trauma, Abuse, and Coercive Control, launching April 1, 2025. This groundbreaking resource offers a biblically grounded, trauma-informed path to reclaiming your body and restoring your sexuality in a way that honors God and brings healing. Tabitha gently invites readers into truth, safety, and wholeness—no matter how broken or disconnected they feel. 👉 Order the book here:Tyndale HouseAmazon 🖊️ Don’t miss the companion workbook, launching the same day, to help you go deeper in your healing journey. If this episode spoke to your heart, don’t walk this path alone. Leslie’s Conquer Membership community is a safe, faith-based space for women healing from destructive relationships. Inside, you’ll find support, coaching, and biblical tools to help you walk in truth and strength. 👉 Learn more and join the waitlist here: www.leslievernick.com 🌟 Closing Encouragement Friend, if your story includes abuse, shame, or silence—please know this: you are not alone, and you are not beyond healing. God sees you. He is not afraid of your wounds. There is no part of your story too dark for His light, and no part of your heart too broken for His love. Take the next step. Speak the truth. Healing is possible—one brave choice at a time.

Is It Neurodivergence… or Abuse? One Woman’s Journey to Truth and Freedom What do you do when the man you married is beloved by everyone, but you’re falling apart behind closed doors? When he’s neurodivergent—and you want to be compassionate—but you’re the one carrying the entire weight of the marriage, ministry, and motherhood? In this deeply moving episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Leslie sits down with life coach, neurodiversity advocate, and former missionary Jenilee Goodwin. Jenilee courageously shares her story of being in a 23-year emotionally destructive marriage while also navigating the challenges of ministry, chronic illness, and parenting neurodivergent children. Her journey—from burnout and confusion to clarity and empowerment—will resonate with every woman who’s ever asked: Is it really that bad… or am I just not trying hard enough? With honesty, wisdom, and deep spiritual insight, Jenilee walks us through the complexities of differentiating neurodivergent limitations from emotionally abusive behavior, and how she found the strength to obey God—even when it meant letting go of everything she’d built. Key Takeaways 1. Neurodivergence vs. Destructive Behavior: How to Discern the Difference Jenilee explains how difficult it was to separate her husband’s ADHD and possible autism from his emotionally abusive behaviors. The turning point? Realizing that neurodivergence doesn’t excuse a lack of empathy, unwillingness to change, or repeated disregard for her well-being. Diagnosis is not a license for disrespect. 2. When Ministry Expectations Keep You Stuck As a pastor’s wife and missionary, Jenilee felt enormous pressure to keep up appearances. But when her health began to deteriorate and her husband refused to share the load, she had to make a painful decision: obey the institutional church… or obey God’s whisper to “stop.” 3. You Are Not His Body and Brain Jenilee describes the crushing emotional and mental labor she carried for her husband—being his memory, his planner, his spiritual leader—until she said no more. When she stopped overfunctioning, things crumbled… but clarity and healing finally began. 4. Obedience to God Sometimes Looks Like Letting Go The lie that godly women must sacrifice themselves no matter what is one that keeps many stuck in harmful marriages. Jenilee shares how stepping into obedience—choosing truth over appearances—led to both heartbreak and unexpected joy. 5. Your Body Keeps the Score—But God Holds the Pen From MS and fibromyalgia to chronic fatigue, Jenilee’s body bore the cost of the emotional toll she carried for years. But after she stopped rescuing her husband and started caring for herself, healing began—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Closing Encouragement Sister, you are not selfish for needing rest. You are not ungodly for drawing boundaries. You are not breaking your marriage—you are breaking free from patterns that are breaking you. Obedience to God may feel like a fire, but on the other side is freedom, clarity, and healing. Don’t wait until your body forces you to stop. Listen to that still, small voice. God is calling you into truth—and into life. You can do this. We’re walking with you.

Divorce is never the goal, but sometimes it’s the only solution to an abusive, destructive marriage. Yet, for many Christian women, the fear of financial ruin keeps them stuck in unhealthy relationships. Today, we’re tackling that fear head-on with financial expert Rhonda Noordyk, founder of the Women’s Financial Wellness Center and host of the podcast Disrupting Divorce Conversations for Women. Rhonda has dedicated her career to helping women navigate the financial complexities of divorce with confidence and clarity. In this episode, she shares practical strategies for financial empowerment, ways to uncover hidden assets, and how to build a strong support team so that no woman has to walk this journey alone. If you've ever felt trapped by financial insecurity or overwhelmed by the thought of handling money on your own, this conversation is for you. Key Takeaways Divorce Isn’t the First Choice, But Sometimes It’s the Best ChoiceMany women hesitate to leave abusive or destructive marriages due to religious or cultural conditioning. Rhonda and Leslie discuss why staying informed about your options is not promoting divorce but rather promoting wisdom and safety. Building a Strong Financial Foundation Starts with AwarenessWhether you're contemplating divorce or just wanting to be more financially literate, knowing where your money is and how it works is crucial. Rhonda shares her Bridge Method, helping women breathe, build a financial team, and gather critical financial documents before making any decisions. Common Financial Fears and How to Overcome ThemFear of being destitute, of never being able to own a home, or of not being able to provide for children keeps many women feeling stuck. Rhonda walks us through the knowledge-experience-confidence formula that helps women step into financial empowerment. Practical Steps to Uncover Financial InformationRhonda shares insider strategies, including checking credit reports, IRS transcripts, and even using USPS informed delivery, to help women piece together their financial picture—even when their spouse has kept them in the dark. You Don’t Have to Do This AloneHaving a trusted support system is key. If you don’t know where to start, find a financial expert, a supportive friend, or even a private investigator if necessary. Rhonda’s resources make it easier to take those first steps toward financial security. Resources & Next Steps Listen to Rhonda's podcast Disrupting Divorce Conversations for Women Download Rhonda’s free resource: 6 Ways to Get a Fair Divorce Settlement – wfwcdivorce.com Explore Leslie’s coaching programs and community for faith-based support – leslievernick.com Final Encouragement If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember this: You don’t have to figure it all out today. Just take one small step toward educating yourself and preparing for your future. God will guide your path, one decision at a time. You are not alone, and you are stronger than you think.

What happens when the person you trust most turns out to be a stranger behind closed doors? Many of us go into marriage believing we’ve found a godly partner, only to discover deception, manipulation, and an unraveling reality we never saw coming. In this powerful episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Julie Sedenko sits down with Isla, a woman whose marriage began with hidden debts, constant lies, and a suffocating sense of tension. After years of heartache, separation, and a journey toward personal transformation, she and her husband now walk a different path—one built on truth, respect, and a deeper understanding of God's role in their lives. If you’ve ever felt trapped in a relationship where words don’t match actions, where confusion and self-doubt creep in, this episode will encourage and empower you with the wisdom, faith, and tools to step into truth. Key Takeaways 1. The Slow Realization of DeceptionIsla’s story began with excitement and hope—she believed she had chosen wisely. But from her wedding night onward, subtle red flags began to emerge: small acts of indifference, shifting moods, and later, outright lies. She learned that deception doesn’t always come with blatant betrayal; sometimes, it’s the quiet erosion of trust, the feeling that something is always just slightly off. If you feel unsettled in your relationship but can’t pinpoint why, it’s worth paying attention. 2. The Power of Denial and OvercompensatingFor years, Isla compensated for her husband's irresponsibility, picking up the slack and trying harder to make things work. She assumed his agreement with her concerns meant he would change, but true transformation requires action, not just words. Recognizing the difference between passive compliance and real accountability was key in her healing journey. 3. The Breaking Point: When You Can’t Walk Through the DoorSitting in her car, unable to enter her own home, Isla hit a moment of undeniable truth—her marriage was crushing her spirit. It wasn’t until she stepped back, created boundaries, and sought wisdom that she began to reclaim her life. Sometimes, rock bottom is the birthplace of transformation. 4. Healing Through Faith, Boundaries, and CommunityIsla's faith played a crucial role in her journey. She turned to Proverbs for wisdom, joined Conquer, and found a community of women who understood her struggle. Through this, she discovered that mutual, safe, and reciprocal relationships are God’s design—not a life of walking on eggshells. Healing required her to hold the relationship loosely, allowing her husband to take responsibility for his own growth. 5. Rebuilding with Wisdom and CautionAfter three years of separation, her husband had to prove his change—not with words, but with actions. Weekly accountability groups, personal counseling, and a renewed commitment to truth paved the way for reconciliation. Their marriage today looks nothing like before—marked by independent wholeness, clear financial separation, and intentional rebuilding. It’s not about returning to the old marriage; it’s about creating something new. A Personal Invitation If Isla’s story resonates with you, you don’t have to navigate this alone. Conquer is a transformative support community designed for women facing destructive relationships. You’ll find biblical wisdom, practical tools, and the support of women who truly understand. Learn more and join the waitlist at leslievernick.com/conquersignup. Closing Encouragement If you’re sitting in your car, afraid to walk inside, know this: God sees you. You are precious in His sight, and you deserve a life built on truth, respect, and mutual love. Don’t be afraid to take the next right step—one step at a time, one boundary at a time. You are not alone, and with God’s guidance, healing and clarity are possible.

When the Church Harms Instead of Heals: A Conversation with Dr. Diane Langberg Does the church always protect the vulnerable? Unfortunately, the answer is no. Too often, church leaders and institutions protect their own reputation, power, and influence instead of the wounded and abused. This episode is a crucial conversation with world-renowned trauma expert Dr. Diane Langberg, who has spent over five decades counseling survivors of abuse and working to bring truth and light into the darkest places within the church. In this episode, Leslie Vernick and Dr. Langberg discuss how churches can—and must—do better. They expose the dangerous ways churches enable abuse, misuse power, and silence victims in the name of God. If you've ever felt unheard, dismissed, or spiritually manipulated by those in leadership, this conversation will offer both validation and hope. Key Takeaways: 1. Why Churches Struggle to See and Address AbuseThe church has been slow to acknowledge abuse within its walls. Too often, the institution is prioritized over the people. Jesus called leaders to "feed my sheep," yet many churches protect the system instead. Abuse survivors need churches that reflect Christ’s heart, not just uphold doctrine. 2. The Harmful Messages Women Hear About Abuse and MarriageMany women are told that preserving marriage at all costs is God’s will, even at the expense of their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. But God hates sin more than divorce. Jesus himself walked away from people who refused truth, and women are not called to stay in destructive relationships to honor God. 3. The Self-Deception of Abusive Church LeadersAbusive pastors and leaders often twist Scripture to justify their actions. They protect their reputations and minimize their sins, deceiving not only others but themselves. True repentance requires exposure and accountability, not secrecy and cover-ups. 4. How to Create Safer Churches for Abuse SurvivorsChurches must shift their focus from building large institutions to becoming places that reflect Christ’s love and justice. This means listening to survivors, seeking expert training, and prioritizing character over charisma in leadership. 5. God's Heart for the WoundedFor those who have been harmed by their church, Dr. Langberg offers a powerful reminder: God sees, weeps, and hates the evil done in His name. He does not ask you to stay in an abusive situation. He is for you, not against you. Resources and Next Steps: Dr. Diane Langberg’s book: When the Church Harms God's People Dr. Diane Langberg's website: www.dianelangberg.com Leslie Vernick’s resources for abuse survivors: www.leslievernick.com Need support? Join our private community for women seeking healing and guidance.  Final Encouragement If you've been hurt by the church, know this: God is not like the leaders who failed you. He sees you, loves you, and wants you to walk in freedom. Your voice matters, and healing is possible. Thank you for listening to Relationship Truth Unfiltered. Be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear it.

Have you ever found yourself stuck in a cycle of hoping things will change, only to be disappointed over and over again? Maybe you’re in a destructive marriage, and deep down, you know the truth... but accepting it feels impossible. In this episode, Leslie Vernick and Julie Sedenko dive into what true acceptance looks like, especially for women in difficult relationships. But here’s the key: Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up. It doesn’t mean resigning yourself to misery. Instead, it’s about facing the truth so that you can take back your power and choose your next steps wisely. If you’re exhausted from trying to change someone who refuses to change, this episode will help you shift your mindset and start taking care of yourself because you are worth it. Key Takeaways: 1. Healthy People Live in the Truth Denying reality doesn’t change it, it only keeps you stuck. Accepting a hard truth doesn’t mean you have to like it, but it does mean you can begin to move forward. Resisting reality drains your energy. Facing it, even when it hurts, is the first step to healing and change. 2. Acceptance is Empowering, Not Defeating Accepting the truth about your marriage doesn’t mean it will never change, but it does mean you stop relying on "hopium", the false hope that if you just try harder, he’ll be different. When you accept reality, you regain your power by asking: “What are my choices now?” Acceptance leads to action. You can start making plans for your well-being, rather than waiting for someone else to change. 3. You Have Choices, Even When It Feels Like You Don’t If your husband refuses to change, you can choose how you will respond. Your choices might include setting firmer boundaries, building financial independence, finding emotional support, or even considering separation. Instead of waiting for someone else to rescue you, step into the role God has given you as the steward of your own life. 4. Stop Living Like a Doormat—Set Healthy Boundaries Feeling like a doormat? That’s a sign you need better boundaries. Being kind does not mean letting people take advantage of you. When you start saying “no,” pay attention to how people respond. Do they respect your boundaries, or do they punish you for them? That tells you a lot about the relationship. 5. Taking Responsibility for Your Own Well-Being If your needs aren’t being met in your marriage, you don’t have to stay stuck in resentment. Instead, you can take steps to meet them in other ways. Stop waiting for your husband to make you feel valued, loved, or celebrated. Celebrate yourself. God calls us to steward our lives wisely. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s responsible. A Personal Invitation: Are you struggling to accept a painful truth in your marriage? You don’t have to go through this alone. Ready to take action and grow stronger? Walking in CORE Strength is a coaching program designed to help you build confidence, set boundaries, and reclaim your life. Learn more and join us here. Final Encouragement: Acceptance is hard, but it’s also the doorway to freedom. When you stop fighting the truth, you can start making choices that bring peace, strength, and healing into your life. You are not alone, and God will give you the courage to take the next step. 🔹 Follow the podcast so you never miss an episode!🔹 Leave a review! Your words encourage other women to find hope and truth.

RESOURCES:Join Walking in Core Strength Today!Beth Allison Barr's website"Becoming the Pastor's Wife" by Beth Allison BarrWhat does it mean to be a pastor’s wife? Is it a God-ordained role, or has it been shaped by culture? And how do women in ministry or marriage find freedom when their identity feels crushed under the weight of unrealistic expectations? In this powerful and eye-opening episode, Leslie sits down with Dr. Beth Allison Barr, a medieval historian, pastor’s wife, and author of The Making of Biblical Womanhood and Becoming the Pastor’s Wife: How Marriage Replaced Ordination as Women’s Paths to Ministry. Together, they uncover the hidden history of women in the church, the pressures placed on pastor’s wives, and the rise of complementarian theology that has harmed both women and men. Beth also shares practical wisdom for women navigating abusive marriages, ministry challenges, and the journey to rediscover their God-given identity. Whether you’re a pastor’s wife, married to a man in leadership, or simply navigating the tension between cultural expectations and God’s calling, this episode will inspire you to seek truth, embrace courage, and step into the freedom God has for you. Key Takeaways: The Pastor’s Wife Role: Cultural, Not BiblicalMany assume the role of the pastor’s wife is biblically mandated, but Beth reveals that it is a cultural construct that emerged in modern history. While the role can be valuable for those called to it, it is not the primary calling for all women. Recognizing this truth is freeing and helps dismantle harmful expectations. Empowering Lessons from Black ChurchesBlack pastor’s wives have historically embraced more freedom and authority in their roles, often co-pastoring or pursuing ministry outside their husband’s church. Unlike white evangelical churches, where the pastor’s wife is expected to embody the “ideal” biblical woman, Black church traditions emphasize authenticity and community support. The Legacy of Women in Church LeadershipThe medieval church had space for women in leadership, with figures like Mary Magdalene, Hildegard of Bingen, and Catherine of Siena preaching and holding authority. Beth challenges listeners to revisit Romans 16, where women are commended as apostles, deacons, and house church leaders, proving that women’s leadership has always been part of God’s design. The Rise of Complementarian Theology and Its HarmComplementarian theology, which ties women’s worth to their husband’s ministry, rose in the 20th century as a reaction to women gaining autonomy in society. This theology pressures women to prioritize their husband’s needs over their own, often leading to emotional and spiritual harm. It also isolates pastor’s wives, making it difficult for them to find support or speak out against abuse. The Burden of Perfection and the Danger of SilencePastor’s wives—and women in ministry—often feel pressured to maintain an image of perfection, from their appearance to their children’s behavior. This isolation becomes dangerous when they are in abusive marriages, as speaking out can cost them everything. Leslie and Beth discuss the importance of breaking the silence, seeking support, and prioritizing safety over the preservation of harmful institutions. Becoming God-Centered, Not Husband-CenteredWomen are often taught to center their lives on their husbands, but true freedom comes from being God-centered. Leslie and Beth encourage listeners to seek God’s voice and ask, “What are you calling me to do?” Each woman is uniquely gifted and called for a purpose beyond cultural expectations.

Episode Title: The Courage to Walk Away: Leah’s Story of Love, Loss, and Finding Strength IntroductionHave you ever found yourself questioning everything you thought you knew about love, trust, and commitment? What if the dream you’ve been waiting for suddenly didn’t feel right? In today’s episode, Julie Sedenko sits down with Leah, a woman who was weeks away from getting married when she made the gut-wrenching decision to call off her wedding. Leah’s story is different from our usual guests—she’s never been married—but her journey of faith, resilience, and self-discovery will challenge the way you think about relationships, red flags, and the courage to choose what’s right over what’s expected. If you’ve ever felt the pressure of time, culture, or expectations pushing you toward a decision that doesn’t sit well in your spirit, this episode is for you. Leah shares how she navigated an unexpected betrayal, deep grief, and the healing she found through Leslie Vernick’s coaching programs. You won’t want to miss the wisdom and strength that radiates from her testimony. Key Takeaways: 1. When Love Doesn't Feel SafeLeah shares how she initially felt deeply connected to her fiancé—he was kind, communicative, and a gentleman. But things changed when they reunited after a period of long-distance. His sudden shift in behavior—being overly aggressive physically and dismissive of her boundaries—set off warning bells. While he never crossed certain lines, Leah realized his actions felt more objectifying than affectionate. This raised the question: Was he really honoring her, or was he testing how much he could get away with? 2. The Danger of Assumed AgreementCross-cultural relationships come with unique challenges, but Leah had spent years preparing for this. She believed they had aligned on key values—faith, purity, finances, and family. However, as marriage became imminent, she discovered he had merely tolerated her views rather than sharing them. His ultimate admission? “I thought you would change your mind.” Leah’s story is a powerful reminder that assumptions are not agreements, and time does not equal trustworthiness. 3. The Devastating Reality of Calling Off a WeddingLeah’s decision to walk away wasn’t just about losing a relationship—it meant leaving her home, career, and the future she had envisioned. She grieved not only the man she loved but the life she had built. At almost 40, she also faced the reality that by the time she found another relationship, her window for having biological children might be closed. The depth of this loss was overwhelming, and she cried nearly every day for two years. But in the midst of her pain, she discovered a deeper truth: sometimes, walking away is the bravest thing you can do. 4. Finding Strength Through Core PrinciplesAs Leah sought healing, she discovered Leslie Vernick’s coaching programs, including Moving Beyond People Pleasing and Walking in Core Strength. These programs provided her with validation, support, and a framework to navigate relationships in a healthier way. Two key lessons stood out: Courageously Committed to the Truth: Holding onto truth and boundaries is not harsh—it’s healthy. Jesus embodied grace and truth, and so should we. Empathy Without Enabling: You can love someone deeply while still holding firm boundaries. Someone being upset with you does not make you a bad person. 5. Redefining the Finish LineMany women are raised to believe marriage is the ultimate goal, but Leah has come to see things differently. While she still desires a healthy marriage, she no longer sees it as a measure of her worth. “I know who I am, whether or not I’m married,” she says. “And I will be the same person if I ever do get married as I am right now.” Final EncouragementIf you’re facing a difficult relationship decision, remember this: Yellow lights don’t turn green, they turn red. Ignoring the warning signs won’t make them go away. Leah’s story is proof that choosing integr

ResourcesRegister for Leslie's Webinar, February 13: "I'm Not Okay When You're Not Okay"Think you might be in a destructive marriage? Get Leslie's Quick Start Guide here. Do you feel like the weight of every decision in your marriage or family is on your shoulders? Are you struggling with a spouse who refuses to engage or, worse, actively makes things harder? If decision-making feels overwhelming and you're stuck in fear of making the wrong choice, this episode is for you. Leslie Vernick shares insights on overcoming decision paralysis, handling an unengaged spouse, and finding clarity even when the path forward is uncertain. Key Takeaways 1. You Don’t Have to Make the Perfect DecisionMany people stay stuck in indecision because they fear making the wrong choice. But the truth is, no one has perfect information all the time. Even a wrong decision can provide valuable insight, allowing you to adjust and move forward. Instead of viewing decisions as permanent, think of them as opportunities to learn and course-correct along the way. 2. Indecision Is Still a DecisionChoosing not to decide is, in itself, a decision—with its own consequences. If you're paralyzed by fear or waiting for your spouse to take action, recognize that staying in limbo is creating an outcome, too. Instead of waiting for someone else to change, take responsibility for what you can control and move forward with wisdom. 3. How to Handle a Spouse Who Won’t Participate in Decision-MakingIf your spouse is disengaged, you have choices in how you respond: with resentment, with curiosity, or with acceptance. Ask yourself: Is he afraid of making mistakes? Has he been criticized in the past? Does he struggle with change? By approaching the situation with understanding rather than frustration, you can free yourself from bitterness and take action where necessary. 4. Understanding Fear and Avoidance in Decision-MakingFear can be paralyzing, especially for someone who has been conditioned to avoid risk. Some people resist making decisions due to past trauma, upbringing, or personality differences. For example, if your spouse grew up in an environment where mistakes were punished harshly, he may struggle to take initiative. Recognizing this can help you approach the situation with grace rather than resentment. 5. When You’re Not Allowed to Make DecisionsWhat if you’re on the opposite end of the spectrum—where your spouse makes all the decisions, even when they are harmful? If his leadership is damaging your family financially, emotionally, or spiritually, you may need to establish firm boundaries. Seeking wise counsel, setting limits, and refusing to enable destructive choices are crucial steps in reclaiming your voice and protecting your well-being. 6. The Power of Boundaries and ChoiceHaving boundaries helps you exercise your power of choice. This is what I will do. This is what I won’t do. This is what I can do. This is what I can’t do. But setting boundaries also means learning to live with others’ disappointment and resentment. Whether it’s your children, spouse, or extended family, making decisions that are good for you—and ultimately for them—often comes with resistance. Accepting this reality allows you to move forward with confidence rather than guilt. 7. Living from Your Noble Self Instead of Your EmotionsActing out of your noble self means making decisions that align with who you are in Christ, rather than being driven by fear, resentment, or a need for approval. It’s about showing up in your life with strength and dignity, just like the Proverbs 31 woman. You don’t need to apologize for being wise, decisive, or courageous. God designed you to make choices, and embracing this responsibility is part of spiritual maturity. 8. You Always Have ChoicesEven in the hardest circumstances, you still have choices. Viktor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor, wrote that everything can be taken from a person except one thing: the ability to choose how they will respond

Resources Register here for Leslie's free workshop, "I'm Not Okay When You're Not Okay"Leslie's Quick Start Guide Introduction Have you ever felt trapped in a relationship that looked perfect on the outside but was suffocating behind closed doors? In this episode, Michelle shares her courageous journey from hiding abuse within the walls of the church to stepping into freedom, healing, and a mission to help other women recognize when difficult crosses into destructive. If you’ve ever questioned whether your struggles in marriage were just normal hardships or something more harmful, Michelle’s story will provide clarity, validation, and hope. Key Takeaways 1. Recognizing Red Flags in Christian CourtshipMichelle reflects on the early warning signs she overlooked during dating. While her relationship seemed like a picture-perfect Christian courtship, subtle yet significant issues surfaced: boundary-pushing, controlling tendencies, and an inability to respect her differing opinions. If a man says one thing but does another—especially when it comes to physical boundaries—that’s a serious character concern. A man’s integrity matters more than his words. 2. When Submission Becomes OppressionMichelle shares how scripture was twisted in her marriage, particularly regarding intimacy. Instead of mutual love and respect, biblical teachings were weaponized to demand compliance. She felt like an object rather than a cherished wife. This distortion of faith kept her stuck, believing she had to endure rather than address the toxic dynamic. 3. The Loneliness of an Unseen BattlePerhaps one of the most heartbreaking moments Michelle describes is standing alone in the kitchen late at night, feeling used and unseen, while her husband slept peacefully. She cried out to God, struggling to reconcile her suffering with the belief that divorce was not an option. Her prayers shifted over time—from asking ‘How long, O Lord?’ to pleading for rescue. 4. When Christian Marriage Advice Keeps You TrappedBooks like Love and Respect made Michelle believe that if she just respected her husband enough, things would change. But no amount of respect can fix a heart unwilling to change. In a healthy marriage, both partners seek growth, repentance, and mutual love. The problem isn’t just about how a wife behaves—it’s about whether both people are truly honoring God in their marriage. 5. Isolation and Control: A Subtle Form of AbuseMichelle’s husband worked to isolate her from friends by criticizing their parenting or questioning their submission. She initially believed his concerns, but over time, she realized it was a tactic to keep her dependent. Meanwhile, he maintained his own friendships, often mentoring men and encouraging their wives to submit, reinforcing harmful dynamics. 6. The Breaking Point: When Abuse Turns PhysicalMichelle recounts the night her husband physically removed her from their car and abandoned her miles from home. Despite years of emotional and spiritual abuse, this moment shattered her sense of security. Yet, even then, she felt trapped, unsure of where to go or whom to tell. The shame of staying weighed on her, but she also feared the unknown. 7. A Divine Wake-Up CallIn 2023, Michelle experienced a powerful moment with God—a dream, a whispered name, and a podcast episode that spoke directly to her situation. This was her turning point. She finally recognized that her marriage wasn’t just difficult; it was destructive. With courage, she sought help, setting boundaries and eventually moving out when it became clear her husband was unwilling to change. 8. Finding Strength and Support in ConquerAs Michelle searched for answers, she discovered Leslie Vernick through a podcast with Lysa Terkeurst. She dove deep into Leslie’s teachings, and after joining the Conquer group, found the validation and strength she needed to break free. With guidance from a Christian counselor and the support of Conquer, Michelle gained the confidence to mak

RESOURCES Leslie's Quick Start Guide Brad Hambrick's Blog: Why Is It So Hard to Have Constructive Conversations About Abuse?Church Cares American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) Equip Show Notes: Why Churches Resist Abuse Ministry IntroductionHave you ever wondered why churches sometimes hesitate or even resist addressing abuse within their congregations? In today’s episode, Leslie Vernick unpacks this difficult but vital question. She shares her years of experience working with churches and individuals to create safer spaces for those harmed by abuse. Whether you’ve felt dismissed by your church, or you’re striving to bring change, this conversation offers clarity, hope, and practical steps forward. Together, we’ll explore why this resistance exists, what’s changing, and how we can be part of the solution. Key Takeaways 1. The History of Church Resistance to Abuse Ministry In the past, many churches believed abuse wasn’t a problem among Christians, leading to unsafe environments for children and vulnerable members. Change was driven largely by legal and financial accountability rather than a proactive desire for safety. Churches must recognize the reality of abuse and embrace preventative measures as part of their mission to love and protect their people. 2. The Misconceptions That Fuel Resistance Many church leaders empathize more with the fear of false accusations than with victims’ lived experiences, despite false reports being rare. Misunderstandings about what constitutes abuse—such as emotional or sexual abuse within marriage—prevent churches from addressing it effectively. 3. The Role of Leadership in Healthy Relationships Biblical headship is about servant leadership, not power or control. Healthy leaders use their influence to empower and uplift others, reflecting Christ’s example. Submission, as taught in Scripture, is a voluntary act rooted in mutual love and respect—not coercion or oppression. 4. Why Individual Healing Must Precede Marriage Work Starting with marriage counseling in abusive situations often leads to failure. Individual healing for both parties is essential before addressing the relationship. Churches can support this process by encouraging personal growth and connecting individuals with appropriate resources. 5. Resources to Equip Churches for Better Ministry Free tools like the Church Cares Curriculum provide essential training for addressing abuse. Leslie’s EQUIP group offers ongoing support and education for pastors, counselors, and leaders seeking to handle abuse well. A Personal InvitationIf you’re a church leader, counselor, or someone who wants to advocate for healthier, safer relationships in your community, take the next step. Visit LeslieVernick.com to learn more about EQUIP and access resources designed to empower leaders and protect the vulnerable. Change is possible when we open our hearts to God’s guidance and truly listen to the pain of those around us. If you’ve been hurt by the church or feel overwhelmed as a leader, know that God sees you and desires healing and growth. Listen to the full episode now and share it with your pastor or church leader! Together, we can foster safer, healthier communities.

Hear this raw conversation with Julie Sedenko and Jessica about recognizing and escaping covert abuse in her Christian marriage RESOURCES Leslie Vernick's website Leslie's Quick Start Guide The Relationship Timeline Love bombing during dating phase Emotional regulation issues during engagement Marriage lasted 2 years Ended with 6-week separation Red Flags & Patterns Husband proud of his "manipulation talent" Consistent gaslighting and emotional control Sexual addiction disclosed pre-wedding Financial dependence despite her being primary breadwinner Isolation from family and friends Turning Points The wedding incident revealing deeper issues Writing "the letter" that sparked change Breaking point during Bible study Understanding God's word "faithful" in new light Finding Help Leslie Vernick's teachings CORE program principles Conquer program Church community support

Resources:Elyse Fitzpatrick's websiteElyse's BooksLeslie's WebsiteLeslie's Quick Start GuideIn this episode, Leslie Vernick talks with Elyse Fitzpatrick the author of over 25 books on Christian living. Elyse holds a master's degree in biblical counseling from Trinity Theological Seminary and is a popular conference speaker and grandmother to six. Discussing 'Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women': Overview of Elyse's book 'Worthy.' The book celebrates the value of women in the church and society. The inspiration behind writing 'Worthy.' Writing and Reception: Elyse's experiences around 2019-2020 that led to writing the book. Conversation with Paul Tripp and reading a blog post by Eric Shoemaker. The unexpected pushback received from various groups, including church leaders. Handling Pushback: The surprising amount of resistance to the book's message. Criticisms, including the apparent lack of focus on traditional gender roles. Shock and discouragement faced, even being disinvited from conferences and losing publishing contracts. The Biblical Value of Women: Discussion on the value of women as depicted in the Bible. Examples such as Hagar and the significance of her story in Genesis. Cultural and Church Challenges: Examination of the church’s fear of women having power. The issue of power dynamics and the misuse of spiritual teachings to control. Lessons from the Bible: Biblical accounts demonstrating God's use and valuing of women. Stories of women like Eve, Hagar, and Mary of Bethany. Women as Co-laborers in Faith: The importance of recognizing women as equal contributors to the faith. Challenges women face in being seen as more than just traditional roles. Jesus' Treatment of Women: Examples from the New Testament showing Jesus' respect and care for women. Stories of Jesus protecting and valuing women. Resistance and Reconciliation: Different responses to sin and accountability between David and Saul. Importance of genuine repentance and the recognition of women's value in the community.

In this episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Julie Sedenko and relationship expert Leslie Vernick tackle the tough topic of reconciliation. If you've ever wondered when or if you should reconcile in a relationship, this episode is for you. They discuss everything from the reasons why someone might separate to how to know if it's really the right time to come back together. Why Separate? Leslie talks about the big reasons people choose to separate—from safety concerns to ongoing negative behavior and its impact. Separation as a Wake-Up Call Separation can sometimes be a wake-up call. How do you know if it's working? Spotting Real Change It's not just about saying sorry. How do you know your partner has really changed and is ready to reconcile? Legal Stuff You Need to Know Separation isn't just emotional—there are legal aspects to consider. Make sure you're protected. Grace and Boundaries How do you balance giving grace with setting boundaries? We discuss what you can tolerate and what’s a deal-breaker. When It's Just Not Going to Work Sometimes, reconciliation isn’t possible. Leslie explains when you should consider calling it quits.

This episode, recorded last Christmas, is a reminder that you can find peace in God's presence this Christmas... even if you're dealing with a destructive relationship. In this episode, Leslie & Julie share memories of Christmas debacles and difficulties as well as very practical tips for being your best self during the holidays. Rest assured, friend, there is HOPE! He was born and He is risen. Merry Christmas!!

Importance of Mindset Discusses the critical role of mindset in making real changes. Leslie explains the difference between breakdown and breakthrough mindsets. Uses biblical examples like Esther and Joseph to illustrate points. Breakdown Mindset Leslie describes what a breakdown mindset is. Explains its effects using stories of people stuck in victim mentality. Denial of Reality Leslie explains how people deny reality to avoid suffering. Shares examples of false spirituality and its impact on lives. Personal Story of Grief Julie shares a personal story about her sister’s tragic death and subsequent family losses. Discusses the weight of grief and the common but unhelpful reactions from others. Steps to Breakthrough Mindset Leslie talks about distinguishing between healthy grieving and a breakdown. Emphasizes finding meaning in suffering. Shares the importance of perspective and purpose in tragedy. Breakthrough Mindset Leslie explains what a breakthrough mindset looks like. Provides personal and real-world examples of people converting loss into meaningful actions. Practical Techniques Leslie provides practical steps and mindset shifts. Includes tracking thoughts and noticing the stories we tell ourselves. Importance of Self-Growth Stresses the importance of self-growth and taking responsibility for one’s mindset. Mentions the Empowered to Change group as a resource for developing a noble self. Empowered to Change Details about the Empowered to Change group: Its role in personal growth. How it helps women navigate difficult times by focusing on individual growth and mindset shifts. Prayer and Encouragement Leslie ends with a prayer for women in a breakdown mindset.

Resources: Empowered to Change: www.leslievernick.com/empowered Darby Strickland https://www.darbystrickland.com/  In this heart-wrenching and inspirational episode, Mary shares her powerful story of overcoming decades of abuse. From her tumultuous marriages to finding the strength to rebuild her life, listeners will be moved and motivated to find resilience in their own struggles. Mary's Background Insights into Mary’s early life and personal history. Brief mention of her age and pride in overcoming challenges. First Marriage The emotional and psychological abuse Mary experienced. Efforts to maintain a normal home and protect her children. Her husband’s eventual abandonment. Second Marriage Initial optimism and eventual realization of failure. The additional challenges and learning experiences. Discovering Leslie's Materials How Mary found and began engaging with Leslie’s resources. The impact of biblical evidence and therapy on her decisions. Applying Knowledge and Therapy Practical steps Mary took to apply Leslie’s teachings. Collaboration with her PTSD therapist to understand and confront abuse. Personal Achievements and Growth Overcoming past abuses and achieving significant personal milestones. Her educational pursuits and the establishment of a discipleship group. Aspirations to start an autism center. Balancing Commitments Struggles and strategies for maintaining a balanced life. Learning to prioritize and manage commitments without overextending. The Role of Counseling The necessity and importance of having a supportive counselor. Perseverance in finding the right match for counseling. Practical advice for those experiencing abuse and seeking help. Final Thoughts Encouragement for listeners to seek help and realize their value. Empowering message to those feeling defeated by ongoing abuse.

In this episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Leslie Vernick chats with Dr. Karl Benzio about integrating faith and psychiatric science for healing and better decision-making. Dr. Benzio, from Honey Lake Clinic, shares his journey and practical tools like the SPEARS model to help improve mental health and relationships. Don’t miss this insightful conversation!

RESOURCESRegister for Leslie's Free Workshop December 5th!www.leslievernick.com/story  Leslie's Quick Start Guidewww.leslievernick.com/start   In this episode, Julie Sedenko sits down with Alyson Zurek, who opens up about her tumultuous life marked by three marriages, a traumatic brain injury, and childhood trauma. From early instability and maternal abandonment to overcoming abusive relationships and exploring emotional recovery, Alyson shares her story of resilience and healing. She discusses how finding faith and joining supportive communities like Conquer helped her reclaim her life and peace of mind. The conversation serves as a powerful testament to the strength of the human spirit and offers hope for those in similar struggles.

Resources Leslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start  Chris Moles' Website & Resources: https://www.chrismoles.org/  Theology of Suffering and Authority Discussion on imbalance of theology related to suffering and authority Magnification of male headship and sacrifice over safety and protection of the oppressed Lack of focus on misuse and cautions of authority Abuse of Authority and Accountability Constituted and delegated authority in the church Power comes with responsibility and accountability The church's duty to hold authority figures accountable for misuse Jesus' Teachings on Leadership Jesus' warnings against the misuse of authority Connection to domestic abuse involving various forms of power and control The church's slow response to addressing these abuses Restoration and Consequences of Sin Biblical references to power under versus power over The role of accountability and honesty in theological commitments Expectation of servant leadership and its importance Hope for Marriages Affected by Domestic Abuse Finding hope and change through the gospel The focus on individual safety and sanity over marital restoration Importance of setting boundaries and personal growth for both partners Domestic Abuse: Definitions and Dynamics Misuse of power and patterns of coercive behavior The importance of recognizing power dynamics in abuse Differentiating between isolated acts and ongoing patterns of control Can Women Be Abusive? Acknowledgment of women's potential for abusive behavior Differences in power dynamics and impact between men and women Examples of women abusing power in certain contexts Nonviolent Resistance and Personal Agency Encouraging nonviolent forms of resistance The significance of maintaining dignity and agency Practical advice on resisting control without escalating violence

RESOURCES: Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-GET-SAFE (1-800-799-7233)Leslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start The Hidden Depths of Addiction Discovery of her husband's addiction Struggles with expectations of respect and family values, especially within the church setting Facing Anger and Abuse Anger and threats escalate Irrational anger Psychological and physical toll of the marriage The Impact on Children Tansil's fear and realization of the impact on her children Protective actions taken to shield her children from the abuse Recognizing Red Flags Reflection on early warning signs before and soon after marriage Importance of identifying and not ignoring red flags in relationships The Turning Point: Seeking Safety Seeing the truth Initial steps towards seeking help and legal separation Legal Separation and Its Aftermath Hiring an attorney and filing for legal separation Emotional and practical challenges of separating from an abusive spouse Experiences with victim services and legal protection Support Systems and Conquer Community Participation in Conquer and the support gained from the community Key lessons and validations received from fellow survivors Importance of staying anchored in reality and implementing safety plans The Role of Faith and Church Challenges with pastoral support and their often inadequate response to abuse Importance of faith and prayer in Tansil's journey Positive and negative experiences with church leadership Final Thoughts and Advice Encouragement to listeners to trust their gut instincts and prioritize safety Advice on not dismissing red flags and recognizing one's own worth Final reflections and call to action for women in similar situations to seek help and support

RESOURCES Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start Pattern Questions to Ask: When was the first time ... When was the last time...  What is a typical time? What's the worst time? Summary: In this episode, Julie Sedenko and relationship expert Leslie Vernick discuss how to recognize and address destructive relationships. Leslie highlights five key signs of a destructive relationship and offers advice on navigating these challenging situations. Identifying Red Flags in Marriage Explanation of common red flags that may indicate a relationship is becoming destructive. Recognizing Patterns of Destructive Behavior Importance of identifying repeat patterns in behavior that are harmful. Differentiation between occasional mistakes and ongoing destructive patterns. Sign One: Feeling Controlled Indicators of control and manipulation in a relationship. Psychological and emotional impact of being controlled. Sign Two: Feeling Afraid Understanding fear in non-physically abusive relationships. Common fears and their effects on the dynamics of a relationship. Sign Three: Feeling Confused The role of gaslighting in causing confusion. Strategies for regaining clarity and validating one’s own reality. Sign Four: Feeling Objectified Recognizing when one is being treated as an object rather than a partner. The emotional toll of objectification. Sign Five: Deception Impact of chronic deception on trust and safety in a relationship. Recognizing the signs of deceit and its consequences. Navigating Deceptive and Manipulative Behavior Dealing with duplicity and manipulation in relationships. Strategies for protecting oneself and maintaining sanity. Taking Control of Your Happiness Personal anecdotes and empowerment stories. Importance of self-celebration and taking charge of one’s own well-being. Recognizing Destructive Patterns and Seeking Safety Identifying patterns and understanding their frequency and intensity. Assessing personal boundaries and safety measures.

In this episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Dr. Stephanie Holmes, an autism researcher, life coach, and ordained minister, joins us to discuss the unique dynamics of neurodiverse marriages. Dr. Holmes brings her vast expertise and personal experience in navigating the challenges that couples face when one partner is on the autism spectrum. The conversation emphasizes understanding neurodiversity, the impact of late diagnoses on marriages, recognizing red flags, and practical advice for women feeling unheard or unloved in such relationships. Listeners will gain valuable insights into self-care, boundary-setting, and finding supportive communities within a Christian context. Key Takeaways Understanding Neurodiversity Explanation of neurodiverse and neurotypical terms. Importance of recognizing different neurological wiring and its impact on relationships. Impact of Late Diagnosis Effects of late autism spectrum diagnoses on marital relationships. Historical context of autism diagnosis and its implications. Recognizing Red Flags Identifying signs that a partner might be on the autism spectrum. Need for reassessment for individuals diagnosed with ADHD before 2013. Challenges in Neurodiverse Marriages Common struggles such as lack of emotional connection and communication issues. Necessity for both partners to learn and adapt to each other's needs. Trauma and Neurodiverse Relationships Understanding Trauma A (absence of good things) and Trauma B (presence of bad things) in neurodiverse marriages. Impact of trauma on the neurotypical spouse and importance of addressing these issues. Counseling and Coaching Benefits of coaching over traditional counseling for neurodiverse couples. Importance of individual therapy and trauma work before starting couples work. Personal and Spiritual Growth Encouraging women to set boundaries and seek self-care. Finding identity and community support outside of the marriage. Final Advice Practical tips for women feeling unheard or unloved in their relationships. Recognizing and addressing the impact of a spouse's behavior on their well-being.

RESOURCESLeslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start  In this episode Julie Sedenko talks to Raquel about her personal journey and insights into toxic marriages, emotional abuse, and healing. You will learn, from Raquel's experiences, about the importance of establishing boundaries, tips for healing after emotional abuse, and key lessons from her marriage. This empowering podcast provides valuable resources and encouragement for those navigating their own relationship challenges. Raquel's Marriage Rachel discusses the truth behind her marriage experiences Emotional Abuse Unmasked Revealing the signs and effects of emotional abuse Raquel on Toxic Marriages Insights on what makes a marriage toxic Marriage Boundaries Raquel’s story on setting and maintaining boundaries Healing After Emotional Abuse Steps and stories of healing post-abuse Raquel's Marriage Lessons Key lessons learned from her own marriage Escaping Toxic Relationships Strategies and advice for leaving toxic situations Raquel's Guide to Boundaries Comprehensive guide to establishing and enforcing boundaries Toxic Marriage Insights Additional insights on toxic relationships Raquel's Truth on Marriage Final thoughts and personal truths about marriage

This episode explores how to set healthy boundaries in friendships, distinguishing between mutual relationships and ministry connections, with guidance on handling honesty, respect, and personal well-being.

In this episode of Relationship Truth Unfiltered, Leslie Vernick interviews Michelle Hord, a former producer of Good Morning America. Michelle shares her heartbreaking yet inspiring story of losing her daughter Gabrielle at the hands of her soon-to-be ex-husband and her journey of resilience and faith thereafter.   The Tragic Event Description of the tragic event involving Michelle's daughter, Gabrielle. Emotional and psychological impact on Michelle and her family. Life Before the Tragedy Insights into Michelle's marriage and reasons for the divorce. Discussion about emotional abuse and its impact. Gabrielle's Personality Michelle's memories of Gabrielle. Gabrielle's character and memorable traits. The Night of the Tragedy Details of the night Gabrielle's life was taken. Michelle’s immediate reactions and actions following the event. Immediate Aftermath Steps Michelle took following the tragedy. The support system that helped her through the initial shock. Regaining Power and Faith Michelle’s journey to regain her power and sense of self. Her process of rebuilding faith and resilience. Book Discussion: The Other Side of Yet Introduction of Michelle’s book. Explanation of the book’s title and central themes. Defiant Faith Discussion on the concept of defiant faith. How Michelle has embraced defiance against evil and adversity. Support Systems Importance of having a strong support system during crises. Examples of how Michelle’s friends supported her through difficult times. Gabrielle’s Wings Foundation Overview of the Gabrielle’s Wings Foundation. The mission and activities of the foundation to honor Gabrielle’s legacy. Conclusion and Prayer Closing thoughts from Leslie and Michelle. Prayer for listeners facing their own battles with evil and hardship. Additional Details: Links and Resources: Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) Gabrielle’s Wings Foundation Website Purchase Michelle Hord’s Book  Michelle Hord's Website Leslie Vernick’s Free Quick Start Guide Social Media Contacts: Follow Leslie Vernick on Instagram and Facebook Follow Gabrielle’s Wings on Instagram and Facebook `

In this episode, Betty shares her journey through CONQUER, a program that played a pivotal role in her life, first as a married woman and later after her divorce. She discusses how she rediscovered her core values, tackled people-pleasing habits, and found invaluable community support. Her story is a testament to personal growth and resilience, offering hope and a heartfelt prayer for those facing tough times.

RESOURCES: Register Here for Leslie's Free Workshop Are You in a Destructive Marriage Test/Quick Start Guide Pam's Journey: Reflects on her marriage of over two decades overshadowed by manipulation and deceit. Discovering her husband's hidden behaviors: excessive gambling, pornography use, and financial mismanagement. The emotional toll of deception and cycles of hope and disappointment. The turning point: uncovering infidelity and confronting the reality of emotional abuse. Navigating Healing and Transformation: Coping with legal and financial challenges amidst ongoing deceit and manipulation. Finding solace in resources like Leslie Vernick's teachings and support groups. Recognizing and addressing emotional abuse: setting boundaries and focusing on personal healing. Spiritual growth and redefining beliefs about marriage and submission. Reflections and Moving Forward: Challenges and victories in navigating divorce and rebuilding self-worth. The role of support systems: friends, family, and therapeutic interventions. Embracing opportunities for personal growth and fulfillment beyond the confines of marriage. Insights into reclaiming identity and finding empowerment in life after abuse.

RESOURCES: Julie Bonn Blank's website https://www.juliebonnblank.com/ Abuse Recover Ministry: https://abuserecovery.org/ Book: "On the Frontlines of Abuse"Books by Julie Bonn Blank  Near-Death Experience Julie Bonn Blank shares her profound spiritual experience after a near-death allergic reaction Impact on her faith journey and ministry Understanding Coercive Control Definition and examples of coercive control in relationships Its role in perpetuating abuse dynamics Highlighting ARMS Programs Overview of "Her Journey" program for survivors of domestic violence Explanation of "Mankind and Virtue" program for abusers Challenges in Church Responses Discussion on how churches address abuse within their congregations Importance of supportive and accountable church environments Personal Reflections on Healing and Relationships Julie's insights on building healthy relationships after abuse Differences and learnings from past experiences

Resources:Leslie's Quick Start Guide"She Deserves Better" by Sheila Gregoire"The Great Sex Rescue" by Sheila GregoireQuestions answered in this episodeCan Women Offer Affection Without It Being Interpreted as a Sexual Invitation? Women may hesitate to show physical affection due to fear of it being seen as an invitation for sex. It’s important to communicate intentions clearly when offering hugs, kisses, or other forms of affection. An effective way to set boundaries: “I love being close to you, but I don’t always want it to lead to sex.” Men should understand that affectionate gestures are not always signals for sex; ongoing dialogue is key. Is It Wrong for a Woman to Fake Orgasms? Faking orgasms can erode trust and intimacy in a relationship. Honest communication about sexual desires and experiences is essential. If a woman is not in the mood for orgasm, she should express this openly: “I want to be close to you but don’t expect me to reach orgasm.” Focus on connection and mutual pleasure rather than performance. Are There Biblical Boundaries for Sexual Practices? Certain practices, such as extramarital sex and harmful activities, are considered off-limits. Biblical teachings emphasize respect, mutual consent, and preserving the sanctity of sexual relationships. Open dialogue about preferences and boundaries helps maintain a healthy relationship. What About Covert Forms of Marital Rape and Coercion? Covert marital rape can involve emotional or spiritual coercion, where consent is not freely given. True consent involves the ability to express desires and boundaries without fear of negative consequences. If coerced into compliance, seek professional help and support to address these issues. Is Masturbation a Concern in a Marriage? There is disagreement in the church on this topic.  Masturbation can be a natural part of sexuality and may not necessarily indicate problems in a relationship.  It’s important to discuss personal needs and expectations about masturbation within the context of the marriage. Addressing how masturbation affects the relationship openly and respectfully can lead to greater understanding and alignment. My Wife Never Liked Sex but She Married Me—What Should I Do? Feeling deceived when a partner’s sexual preferences or desires differ from expectations can be challenging. It’s important to address these concerns openly with your partner and seek to understand each other’s needs and boundaries. Consider couples counseling to explore these issues in a safe, guided environment. Building a supportive relationship where both partners feel heard and valued is crucial, even if sexual desires do not align perfectly. How Should We Handle Long-Term Relationship Repair and Growth? Long-term relationships, like homes, require regular maintenance and repair. Addressing emotional, physical, or relational damage is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. Prioritize well-being and safety; if a partner’s behavior consistently harms the relationship, consider seeking therapy or reevaluating the relationship. Final Thoughts Marriage and intimate relationships involve navigating various challenges and dynamics. Clear communication, mutual respect, and honest dialogue are essential for a fulfilling and healthy relationship. Seek support and resources to address issues and build a stronger partnership

In this episode, Kobe explores the intersection of prayer, therapy, and setting boundaries in the journey of healing from relational wounds and trauma. Drawing from personal and professional experiences, Kobe shares insights and practical tools to empower listeners in their healing journey.

n this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Julie Sedenko and Leslie Vernick delve into the concept of ”core strength” and its critical importance for women navigating destructive relationships. This episode is designed for any woman who feels she may be in a harmful relationship, offering practical insights on how to build and use core strength in everyday life, whether she chooses to stay or leave.

Join Julie Sedenko in a heartfelt conversation with Laura in this powerful episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered. Laura bravely shares the raw and honest journey through her destructive marriage, shedding light on the patterns of abuse, the struggle for control, and the pivotal moments that led to her breaking free. Discover how she found hope and healing through Leslie Vernick’s teachings and the supportive Conquer community. This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking encouragement, strength, and the courage to reclaim their life. Tune in for a story of resilience, faith, and the transformative power of truth.

Resources: Dr. Henry Cloud’s new book: "Why I Believe"   Online platform with courses by Dr. Cloud Dr. Cloud's book, Necessary Endings Leslie's Quick Start Guide: Find out if you're in a destructive relationship In today's episode, Leslie Vernick sits down with Dr. Henry Cloud, the acclaimed leadership expert, clinical psychologist, and best-selling author known for his influential books "Boundaries" and "Necessary Endings." With over 45 years of experience, Dr. Cloud has helped millions integrate faith and psychology into their lives. In this enlightening conversation, Leslie and Dr. Cloud discuss his newest book, "Why I Believe," a deeply personal narrative that diverges from his usual clinical and business-focused writings. This book delves into Dr. Cloud’s journey of faith, his childhood experiences, and the profound moments that shaped his spiritual beliefs. Key Points: Introduction to Dr. Henry Cloud: Leslie introduces Dr. Cloud, highlighting his significant contributions through his books and his integration of faith and psychology. Dr. Cloud's credentials: best-selling author, leadership expert, and clinical psychologist with over 45 years of experience. The Motivation Behind "Why I Believe": Dr. Cloud shares the impetus for writing a book about his faith journey at this point in his life. Initial intention to create a small pamphlet for his friends, which evolved into a full-fledged book due to the widespread need among Christians to share their faith. Dr. Cloud’s Personal Faith Journey: Growing up in a Southern Methodist home with a faith that was real but not front and center. His struggles with depression and a turning point during his college years when he earnestly sought God. Miraculous Experiences: Dr. Cloud recounts miraculous experiences, including finding a pastor’s house through divine guidance and the profound moment of feeling God’s presence in his car. How these experiences affirmed his belief in God despite not immediately curing his depression. Intellectual Obstacles and Resolution: Addressing intellectual challenges such as the existence of suffering and the relationship between science and scripture. Dr. Cloud’s deep dive into various scientific fields and his conclusion that there is no conflict between science and the Bible when approached without atheistic presuppositions. Integration of Psychology and Scripture: Dr. Cloud’s perspective on how psychological science validates biblical teachings. The inclusion of personal miracle stories in his book to illustrate the tangible impact of faith. The Problem of Evil and Suffering: Leslie and Dr. Cloud address the age-old question: If God is good and real, why does He allow suffering, especially the suffering of innocent people? Dr. Cloud explains that the root cause lies in the concept of free will. God created humans with the freedom to love Him or reject Him, and this freedom extends to all human actions, including harmful ones. The Nature of Love and Freedom: Love cannot exist without freedom. Just as in human relationships, love must be freely given and received; otherwise, it is not true love. God set boundaries to guide humans, but the freedom to choose remains, leading to both good and evil actions. God’s Foreknowledge and Plan: While God knew the potential for evil, He also prepared a plan for redemption through Jesus Christ, even before the foundation of the world. The presence of evil and suffering is part of the larger narrative of freedom and redemption. God’s Presence in Suffering: Dr. Cloud shares a powerful testimony of a man who envisioned Jesus taking his place during a beating from his father, illustrating that Jesus deeply empathizes with our suffering. Jesus’ identification with our pain and His presence in our suffering provides a profound sense of comfort and solidarity. Addressing Intellectual and Emotional Challenges: Dr. Cloud acknowledges that intellectual answers often fall short of providing emotional satisfaction

RESOURCES:Leslie's Quick Start Guide - find out if you're in a destructive marriage   Today, we’re tackling a big question: Is your marriage dead or alive? We’ll break down how to tell if your relationship is thriving, in trouble, or maybe somewhere in between. We’ll talk about what regular upkeep looks like for a healthy marriage and how to handle the heavy-duty repairs when things go south. Whether you’re dealing with minor bumps or major cracks, we’ve got tips and insights to help you figure out the next steps. So, grab a coffee, settle in, and let’s get real about your relationship! Understanding Marriage Maintenance: The Importance of Regular Upkeep:  Examples of Maintenance The Necessity of Repair Work: Identifying Major Issues Real-Life Stories and Lessons: Repair Strategies The Role of Accountability and Self-Reflection: Taking Responsibility Effective Repair Measures When Effort is Lopsided: Balancing Effort Accepting Reality: Facing Hard Truths: Healthy Acceptance: Maintaining a marriage requires ongoing effort and understanding the difference between routine maintenance and addressing significant issues. Recognizing when to repair versus maintain and accepting the reality of the situation can lead to healthier outcomes, whether it means rejuvenating the relationship or making a tough decision to move forward separately.

Resources:Is Your Marriage Destructive? Find out. Get Leslie's Quick Start Guide here!   In this episode, we delve into the often overlooked dynamics of covert abuse within marriages, shedding light on its subtle yet profound impacts. Our guest, Jessica, shares her insights into these hidden behaviors based on her personal journey and observations.   Defining Covert Abuse: Covert abuse refers to subtle, deceptive behaviors aimed at controlling or manipulating a partner without overt aggression. Jessica describes how these behaviors include gaslighting, passive-aggressive tactics, and manipulation through silence or withdrawal. Impact on Emotional Well-being: The discussion explores the emotional toll of covert abuse, highlighting feelings of confusion, self-doubt, and isolation. Jessica shares her experience of feeling constantly invalidated and struggling with the blurred lines between love and control. Financial and Decision-Making Control: Financial abuse, where one partner controls finances to limit independence or enforce compliance, is explored. The impact on decision-making within the household and personal autonomy is discussed, emphasizing the need for financial transparency and equality. Parenting Challenges: Covertly abusive behaviors can extend into parenting dynamics, affecting roles, responsibilities, and the emotional environment for children. Jessica shares insights into navigating parenting while dealing with a partner's controlling behaviors and its effect on family dynamics. Seeking Support and Healing: Importance of Community and Therapy: Jessica emphasizes the role of supportive communities and therapy in recognizing and healing from covert abuse. Finding validation and solidarity with others who understand similar experiences is crucial for emotional recovery. Personal Growth and Empowerment: The journey towards healing involves reclaiming personal agency and establishing boundaries. Jessica discusses steps she took to prioritize her well-being and regain a sense of self outside the abusive dynamics. Raising Awareness and Taking Action: The episode concludes with a call to raise awareness about covert abuse, encouraging listeners to recognize the signs and seek help. Jessica shares resources and strategies for anyone experiencing or suspecting covert abuse in their relationships.

In this episode, Leslie and Julie explore the challenging issue of marital rape, drawing on personal experiences and insights from biblical teachings. Join them for an honest conversation that sheds light on this sensitive topic with compassion and understanding.

In this episode, Julie and Leslie explore the connection between trauma and people-pleasing habits. They discuss how past experiences can lead us to prioritize others’ approval over our own well-being. Through real-life stories and practical tips, they empower listeners to break free from these patterns, find their voice, and foster more authentic connections.

Resources: Register here for our UNLIMITED Moving Beyond People Pleasing Drop-In Group Coaching + Video Curriculum Today, Julie & Leslie are exploring how some of your best qualities and highest Christian virtues can make you a target for toxic individuals. Have you ever wondered why you seem to attract destructive people despite your kind heart and good intentions? This episode will help you understand and transform how you navigate relationships, allowing you to embrace your strengths while safeguarding your heart. People Pleasing:People pleasers are often generous and eager to make others happy, which can make them susceptible to manipulation. Without the ability to say no, people pleasers may find themselves overextended and exploited. Learn to buy time before committing and practice saying no without guilt. Loyalty:Loyalty is a noble trait, reflecting a commitment to relationships. However, blind loyalty can lead to staying in harmful relationships with habitual liars or abusers. Pair loyalty with discernment and wisdom to know when to break away from toxic situations. Forgiveness:Forgiveness is a core Christian virtue, emphasizing grace and mercy. However, endless forgiveness without consequences can enable continued abuse or neglect. Healthy forgiveness includes justice and setting boundaries, ensuring there are consequences for harmful actions. Forbearance:Forbearance promotes patience and tolerance, important in any relationship. Being passive and ignoring habitual sin or evil can be dangerous. Be intentional about forbearance and confront issues when necessary, following Ephesians 5:11 to expose deeds of darkness. Kindness:Kindness reflects God's love and compassion. Niceness without boundaries can lead to being used and misused. Be kind but firm, setting limits on unacceptable behavior without compromising your values. Selflessness:Selflessness mirrors Christ's sacrifice and service. Being overly selfless can lead to losing your identity and becoming an object in the relationship. Steward your life wisely, balancing self-care with serving others, and maintaining your individuality. Trust:Trust is fundamental to any healthy relationship. Naive trust can lead to betrayal and harm. Trust with discernment, recognizing when someone is not trustworthy and acting accordingly. As we discuss these virtues, remember that we are currently enrolling for Leslie’s Moving Beyond People Pleasing program. This course is designed to help you apply these principles in your life. Visit leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse to learn more and register. Final Thoughts: Embrace your Christian virtues but pair them with wisdom and discernment to protect yourself from toxic individuals. Taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s stewardship. Prioritize your well-being to better serve others and fulfill your God-given potential. Remember to consider the entire counsel of God, not just isolated verses, to guide your life and relationships. Thank you for joining us today. We hope this conversation helps you navigate your relationships more wisely and embrace your strengths while safeguarding your heart. Until next time, take care and stay true to your values.

Join Moving Beyond People Pleasing!leslievernick.com/peoplepleasingcourse   In this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Julie Sedenko talks with Jill, a woman navigating the complex journey of staying well in a challenging marriage. Jill shares her story of setting boundaries, seeking therapy, and balancing hope with vigilance. Her experiences provide valuable insights for anyone facing similar marital struggles. Tune in to hear Jill's candid account of the ongoing battle to maintain wellness in her relationship.   Introduction to Jill's Story: Jill's background and the challenges she faced in her marriage. Early signs of an emotionally unhealthy marriage. Navigating Family Influences: Impact of Jill's mother-in-law on her marriage. Establishing boundaries with extended family. Steps Towards Healing: Seeking counseling and church community support. Building a business together and navigating financial struggles with faith. Challenges of Staying Well: The constant effort required to maintain healthy boundaries. Handling emotional triggers and setting consistent limits. The difficulty of not reverting to old patterns of behavior. Balancing hope for improvement with vigilance against setbacks. Navigating emotional health within the family and maintaining stability for her children. Recognizing and addressing codependency and manipulation in relationships. Behavioral Changes in Marriage: Positive changes in her husband's behavior and their communication patterns. Significance of transparency and trust-building. Final Thoughts and Advice: Jill’s advice for women in similar situations. Emphasizing the language of behavior and the importance of reflecting on personal responses.

In this episode Leslie and Julie dive into the complex topic of intent and its role in destructive relationships. They explore the distinction between deeply selfish actions and those stemming from misguided theology, mental or physical illness, or past traumas. The discussion highlights whether intent should influence how we process harm and respond within our marriages, even when unintentional damage occurs. Key Points: Intent vs. Impact: The importance of recognizing that even unintentional actions can cause significant harm. The need for restitution and justice regardless of intent. Forgiveness and Amends: The balance between forgiveness and the necessity for repair and restitution. Addressing Harm in Marriage: The importance of acknowledging and addressing the harm caused, even if unintentional. The role of genuine repentance and changed behavior in rebuilding trust. When to Stop Bringing Up Past Hurts: The necessity of ongoing conversation and understanding the victim's perspective. The difference between genuine repentance and dismissing the victim's feelings. Trust and Safety in Relationships: The critical role of trust and safety in maintaining a healthy marriage. Examples of irreparable breaches of trust, such as adultery or financial deceit. Mental Illness and Responsibility: The balance between compassion for mental illness and maintaining personal boundaries. Sacrificial Suffering and Boundaries: The distinction between noble sacrifices and enabling harmful behavior. The importance of not sacrificing one's well-being to enable another's worst behavior. Recognizing True Change: Identifying genuine changes in behavior and heart versus superficial compliance. The importance of mutual care and respect in a truly healthy relationship. Listener Takeaways: Self-Worth and Dignity: Understanding that a partner's indifference or cruelty is a reflection of their character, not your worth. Embracing your value as an individual and image bearer of God. Living in Reality: The power of facing the truth about your relationship for making informed decisions. The importance of personal growth and becoming your best self. Resources: Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start

In this episode, Julie talks to Kay, a woman who adopted children later in life and dealt with a very destructive marriage. She knew from the beginning there were issues, but chose to try and make it work anyway. Learn from her mistakes and listen to the hope she has to offer.

RESOURCES:Quick Start Guide - www.leslievernick.com/startDomestic Violence Hotline:1.800.799.SAFE (7233) In this episode of Relationship Truth: Unfiltered, Leslie sits down with Assistant District Attorney and Adjunct Professor, Molly Catherine Goodson to explore the intersection of faith, justice, and abuse. Molly Catherine shares personal journey and professional insights, discussing how her faith sustains her in this high-stakes role. She provides practical advice for victims of abuse, highlights the church's role in supporting and protecting them, and emphasizes the importance of empowering women within the church community.  Note: Molly Catherine is not representing the state of North Carolina in this episode. Balancing a High-Stress Job and Personal Faith: Molly Catherine discusses how her faith helps her manage the stress and high stakes of her career, sharing the importance of worship music and the powerful prayer from her pastor that helps her stay grounded. Maintaining Faith Amidst Evil: Leslie and Molly Catherine explore the challenge of maintaining faith in God's goodness despite witnessing daily evils, emphasizing the importance of viewing circumstances through the lens of God's character. Biblical vs. Legal Justice: A discussion on the differences between biblical justice and legal justice, explaining that while Jesus takes on our sins, earthly actions still have consequences. Forgiveness and Consequences: Addressing common misconceptions in churches that forgiveness erases consequences, stressing that actions have consequences and forgiveness does not negate the need for justice. Empowering Women: Encouraging women to learn essential life skills to become less dependent on their abusers, highlighting the empowering effect of managing finances, household tasks, and other responsibilities. Church Support for Victims: Practical ways churches can support victims of abuse, such as knowing local resources, helping with logistics, and offering emotional support. Emphasizing the church's role in ensuring the safety and well-being of individuals over maintaining relationships at all costs. Hope and Redemption: Molly Catherine shares a hopeful story of a victim of sexual abuse within a church community and how proper support and handling of the case led to justice and healing.

RESOURCES: Leslie's Quick Start Guide: www.leslievernick.com/start If you'd like to ask a question for a future "Ask Leslie" episode, go to www.leslievernick.com/askleslie Questions in this episode: Doesn’t there have to be infidelity, domestic violence or abandonment as a reason for divorce?  8:51 What does it mean to detach and can I detach from my husband who shows contempt for me and dismisses my feelings and needs 23:56 How is empathy different from people pleasing? 27:47 What is a narcissist and how do we appropriately use this term? 37:33 What does chronic indifference look like in a relationship?

In this profoundly moving episode, Julie Sedenko welcomes Rachel, a mentor in the Conquer program, who has courageously navigated her way through a tumultuous marriage, a grueling custody battle, and significant health challenges. Rachel shares her personal story of survival and resilience, offering hope and guidance to those facing their own adversities.

RESOURCES: Dr. Alison Cook I Shouldn't Feel This Way "The Best of You" Podcast Lesllie's Quick Start Guide I. Story: Understanding Emotional Triggers A. Example of anger towards adult child B. Framing emotions: Is it about the other person, oneself, God, or circumstances? C. Importance of recognizing the source of emotions II. Three Practices for Emotional Health A. Naming Emotions 1. Recognizing and labeling feelings without judgment 2. Importance of self-awareness and emotional vocabulary B. Framing Emotions 1. Understanding the context and underlying causes of emotions 2. Examining personal responsibility and perspective C. Braving Action 1. Taking intentional steps based on emotional understanding 2. Balancing discernment and action in response to emotions III. Selfhood and Agency in Relationships A. Acknowledging personal needs and boundaries B. Exploring societal and Christian expectations for women C. Embracing selfhood as essential for healthy relationships IV. Recognizing Self-Gaslighting A. Identifying invalidation of personal experiences B. Cultivating self-trust and authenticity C. Partnering with God's discernment in navigating emotions V. Benefits for Spiritual and Psychological Growth A. Integration of faith and psychology in emotional healing B. Understanding the role of emotions and the body in spiritual life C. Tools for self-compassion and emotional resilience This episode delves into practical strategies for emotional discernment, emphasizing self-awareness, framing emotions, and taking intentional action. It highlights the importance of embracing selfhood and offers tools for self-compassion and growth, regardless of one's spiritual beliefs.

RESOURCESwww.leslievernick.comSuicide and crisis hotline: 988 Challenges in Recognizing Unsafe Relationships Dismissing Own Feelings and Needs Fear of Confronting Truth About Relationship Dynamics Addressing Misguided Advice Forgiveness and Forgetting Importance of Remembering Past Actions for Setting Boundaries Illustration: Story of the Songwriter Behind "Amazing Grace" Understanding Need for Repentance and Growth Maintenance vs. Repair Work in Relationships Analogy: House Maintenance and Repair Necessity of Addressing Trust and Safety Issues Before Other Issues Recognizing Difference Between Maintenance Tasks and Repair Work Understanding Individual Capacity and Emotional Management Importance of Self-Awareness in Managing Emotions Recognizing Emotional Capacity and Limitations Analogies: Understanding Emotional Capacity Through Everyday Examples Taking Ownership of Personal Growth Individual Responsibility for Personal Development Importance of Prioritizing Self-Care and Emotional Well-Being Recognizing When Individual Work is Necessary Before Addressing Relationship Issues Seeking Help and Support Encouragement to Seek Professional Guidance and Support Highlighting Available Resources for Personal Growth and Relationship Support Empowerment to Prioritize Personal Growth and Safety in Relationships

Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self-Care 1. Introduction to Boundaries Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy relationships and self-respect. Understanding the importance of boundaries in various aspects of life. 2. Recognizing Boundary Violations Signs of boundary violations include feeling drained, disrespected, or overwhelmed. Identifying situations where boundaries are being crossed and acknowledging the need for change. 3. Establishing Boundaries The importance of clear communication when setting boundaries. Examples of effective boundary-setting phrases  4. Dealing with Criticism Addressing criticism that may arise when implementing boundaries. Seeking support from understanding individuals who respect your journey. 5. Respecting Yourself Embracing self-respect and understanding that boundaries are not selfish but necessary for personal growth. Recognizing and valuing your uniqueness and individual needs. 6. Knowing Yourself The importance of self-awareness in establishing and maintaining boundaries. Understanding your preferences, limitations, and values to make informed decisions.

RESOURCES:Find Joel Muddamalle's books and more at: www.muddamalle.com Find Leslie's books, programs, and more at: www.leslievernick.com Find Lysa Terkeurst and the Therapy and Theology podcast: www.lysaterkeurst.com/therapy-and-theology I. Introduction: Setting the Stage Acknowledging the complexity and sensitivity surrounding the issue of divorce and the Bible II. Interpreting Malachi 2:16 Analysis of the New King James Version's interpretation of Malachi 2:16 Emphasis on the importance of understanding cultural context and nuances in translation Addressing misconceptions and criticism regarding biblical interpretation III. Unpacking the Statement "God Hates Divorce" Clarification of the implications of a unilateral statement from God Discussion on the potential impact on individuals experiencing divorce Emphasis on the need for a nuanced understanding of biblical teachings IV. Marriage, Divorce, and Biblical Context Examination of Exodus 21 and implications for marriage and divorce Discussion on the complexity of marital relationships and divine understanding Exploration of the New Testament teachings on divorce, particularly Jesus' response to the Pharisees V. Understanding the Cultural and Historical Context Insights into the debate between the Hillel and Shammai camps regarding divorce Analysis of Jesus' response to the Pharisees and its cultural implications Consideration of Paul's teachings on divorce and remarriage VI. Pastoral and Ethical Implications Reflection on the pastoral responsibilities in addressing divorce and marriage issues Advocacy for seeking specialized help and guidance in dealing with complex marital situations Emphasis on the importance of theological honesty and discernment in interpreting scripture VII. Encouragement and Final Words Affirmation of God's love and care for individuals, particularly women Encouragement to uphold one's dignity and worth as children of God Call to discernment, prayer, and reliance on the Holy Spirit in understanding biblical truths.

Segment 1: Setting Boundaries with Compassion Leslie emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries for safety without resorting to shaming or demeaning language. Discussing the misconceptions around divorce and the true essence of God's stance on marriage, rooted in love and protection for women. Segment 2: The Journey of Forgiveness Examining the stages of forgiveness and repentance in rebuilding a fractured marriage. Understanding the woman's role in moving forward, including evaluating trust, releasing resentment, and embracing personal growth. Segment 3: Confronting Painful Realities Sharing poignant stories of tragedy and anger to illustrate the lasting impact of recklessness and the necessity of processing emotions. Encouraging listeners to rewrite their stories beyond victimhood, embracing resilience and new beginnings. Conclusion: Leslie emphasizes that, regardless of the outcome, finding peace and growth is possible. Julie reinforces the idea that even if the desired ending differs from reality, a happy conclusion can still be achieved through personal transformation.

Learn from Marie’s journey of resilience as she overcomes the darkness of an abusive marriage. Join us for an unfiltered conversation about navigating adversity, finding strength in vulnerability, and embracing the journey to freedom.

Leslie interviews Rebecca Davis, author of the Untwisting Scriptures series. 1. The Genesis of "Untwisting Scriptures" Discover the origins of Rebecca's groundbreaking series, sparked by the urgent need to address misuses of scripture in handling sensitive issues like sexual abuse. Learn how Rebecca's journey evolved from social media advocacy to a comprehensive exploration of scriptural interpretations. 2. Challenging Authority and Misinterpretation Rebecca's transition from missionary storytelling to theological discourse, as she courageously challenges flawed interpretations of scripture. Understand the significance of Rebecca's work in addressing gender disparities and offering fresh perspectives within theological discussions. 3. Addressing Core Issues Delve into the critical themes tackled in Rebecca's books, including the misrepresentation of Christian rights and the often misunderstood concept of biblical bitterness. Gain valuable insights as Rebecca realigns these notions with the true character of God, providing a roadmap to understanding and spiritual freedom. 4. Cultivating a New Vision of God Uncover Rebecca's mission to correct distorted images of God prevalent in abusive religious environments, revealing the loving, relational nature of the divine. Experience a transformative journey toward spiritual clarity as Rebecca illuminates the true essence of God's word. 5. Reception and Impact Explore the overwhelming positive response to Rebecca's work, underscoring the profound need for her message in a world hungering for authentic spiritual guidance. Understand the formidable challenge Rebecca's engagement with scripture poses to critics, despite minimal direct confrontation. 6. Untwisting Bitterness and Beyond Delve into the unjust accusations of bitterness often faced by victims in abusive situations, as Rebecca offers fresh perspectives on accountability and forgiveness within the church. Gain invaluable insights into navigating complex emotions and reclaiming spiritual agency.Resources: Rebecca Davis: www.rebeccadavisinfo.comUntwisting Scriptures Book series: https://heresthejoy.com/untwistingscriptures/ Leslie Vernick: www.leslievernick.com

Defining Self-Esteem and Self-Image Julie poses the question: What constitutes healthy self-esteem, especially from a biblical standpoint? Leslie explores the concept of self-esteem in relation to self-image. Discussion on the formation of self-image through interactions and perceptions, particularly in childhood. Highlighting the role of parental influence and societal standards in shaping self-esteem. Understanding Humility and Self-Acceptance Expanding on the notion of humility as a component of healthy self-esteem. Drawing parallels between humility and accepting one's limitations. Leslie emphasizes the importance of embracing truth about oneself and avoiding unrealistic expectations. Discussing the difference between self-improvement and self-condemnation. Biblical Perspective on Self-Worth Julie prompts discussion on what the Bible says about self-worth and identity. Leslie highlights biblical verses affirming inherent value and purpose in individuals. Emphasizing God's unconditional love and acceptance regardless of human flaws. Encouraging listeners to recognize their worth as God's beloved creations. Overcoming Negative Self-Talk Addressing the impact of negative self-talk and external criticisms on self-esteem. Sharing personal anecdotes and struggles with self-esteem. Strategies for combating negative self-talk, including renewing the mind with truth. Encouraging listeners to challenge and replace self-defeating thoughts with affirmations of truth. Balancing Self-Care and Self-Improvement Delving into the fine line between self-care and self-absorption. Discussing the potential pitfalls of excessive self-focus in pursuit of improvement. Advocating for a balanced approach that includes consideration of others' needs and interests. Highlighting the importance of nurturing healthy relationships and community support.

In this compelling episode, we delve into the courageous journey of Amanda as she navigates through tumultuous waters in her marriage, finding strength, and healing amidst chaos. Early Struggles and Expectations: Amanda reflects on the early struggles in her marriage, feeling the weight of societal and religious expectations placed upon her as a wife and Christian. The pressure to maintain a facade of perfection made it difficult for her to seek help. Impact on Family and Identity Crisis: She shares the realization of how her marital struggles affected her children, prompting her to prioritize their well-being over societal expectations. Amanda opens up about the identity crisis she experienced when her reactions contradicted her perceived identity. Overcoming Shame and Seeking Help: Despite feelings of shame and embarrassment, Amanda reached a turning point when she recognized the need to prioritize her mental health and seek support for herself and her children. Discovering Support and Resources: Amanda discusses her journey of finding support through programs like Conquer and Walking in Core Strength, which provided her with valuable tools and biblical guidance to navigate through her challenges. Facing Reality and Acceptance: Amanda bravely confronts the reality of her marital situation, acknowledging persistent behavior patterns. Despite the challenges, she maintains hope and resilience, prioritizing personal growth and the well-being of herself and her children. RESOURCES: Join Walking in Core Strength: www.leslievernick.com/strength

We have a thought-provoking conversation lined up about a topic that affects many relationships today – pornography. Our host, Julie Sedenko, chats with relationship expert Leslie Vernick, and together they dive into some crucial questions, including whether pornography qualifies as adultery and how to address this challenging issue within marriage and motherhood. So, grab your headphones, sit back, and let’s get into it! 🎙️💬

Understanding Abuse Dynamics: Andrew and Leslie delve into the multifaceted nature of abuse, encompassing emotional, psychological, and spiritual manipulation. They highlight the insidious tactics employed by abusers to exert control and maintain power over their victims, emphasizing the importance of recognizing red flags and setting boundaries. Breaking the Silence: Both hosts underscore the significance of breaking the silence surrounding abuse and fostering environments of safety and support for survivors to share their experiences. They encourage listeners to validate and honor their own narratives, while also extending empathy and understanding to those who may struggle to disclose their stories. Navigating Victimhood and Empowerment: Andrew and Leslie engage in a nuanced discussion on the concept of victim blaming, emphasizing the importance of holding perpetrators accountable while offering compassion and support to survivors. They explore the complexities of maturity and self-empowerment, challenging harmful narratives that perpetuate cycles of shame and self-blame. Spiritual Dynamics and Healing: In the context of Christian faith, Leslie addresses the challenges faced by women reconciling teachings of submission with experiences of abuse, highlighting the need for discernment and critical engagement with scripture. Andrew shares his personal journey of confronting his past actions and embracing a process of self-reflection and transformation, emphasizing the role of truth-telling, accountability, and therapeutic support in his healing journey. Practical Steps Toward Healing: Practical advice is offered for individuals experiencing abuse, including seeking support from trusted networks, consulting with professionals, and prioritizing safety and self-care. Both hosts emphasize the importance of recognizing triggers, practicing self-awareness, and advocating for healthy boundaries in relationships as crucial steps toward healing and empowerment.