The Rage

Parenting styles can vary greatly; authoritarian (strict style), authoritative (the middle way), and permissive (inconsistent or no discipline).  Which style were Calista and Jennifer's parents?  How did that effect their parenting styles and how is working out with parenting a teenager? Tune in to find out!  

https://www.patreon.com/therage

@TheRageEpisodes

Relationships can become a difficult situation when effective  communication breaks down.  Does this mean that relationship is now a  “dumpster fire” that needs to be extinguished or one to be salvaged  through therapy?  If left unaddressed, resentments and disappointments  on both sides will fester.  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

The fashion tables have turned and now it’s Calista who gets the opportunity to style Jennifer with items from her closet.  From several casual looks to a fancy, form-fitted, floor length velvet dress that Jennifer loves.  Tune in and give us your feedback.  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

Jennifer styles Calista in several casual looks from her own closet.  Lots of laughter abounds as most miss the mark, but we agreed there is at least one garment she liked - It’s see-through, but still cute!  It’s  also clear that Jennifer needs to update her fashion choices and paint over the white patches marking her wall!  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

Jennifer drops our daughter (and her friend) off at my place (Calista) in the care of family when I'm not there.  Things go awry and emotional fallout results.  Poor communication, unmet expectations, and broken promises creates tension between Calista and Jennifer.  Was there truth telling or emotional manipulation at the hands of a teenager?  Did Jennifer and Calista become derailed?  Tune in to find out.  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

Jennifer convinces Calista to have some fun with her by trying on different shades of lipstick.  Which ones compliment their complexion?  Which ones clash?  And why should you never use toilet wipes as a makeup remover.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

@TheRageEpisodes

Calista and Jennifer discuss some of the ways they can (or have) become triggered by words or actions. What hurts their feelings, make them uncomfortable, cause them to get mad and/or be sad?  In this episode they share several examples from childhood to present day.  Towards the end, Jennifer gets the giggles.  Enjoy!  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

We answer viewer questions related to gender identity, expression and inclusion.  For example: How can cisgender people relate to a transgender people if they set themselves apart?

Thank you to everyone who has posed questions and left comments on our channel.  We appreciate you all.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

@TheRageEpisodes

In this episode, we discuss how our bodies are aging after 50.  We share tips and details from personal experiences of physical ailments we’ve noticed and impart the knowledge we’ve acquired from health care professionals over the years.  Growing old is not always easy, but the more one knows, the easier it may be to navigate.  Being proactive can be instrumental in well-being.  Cheers to everyone’s good health!  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

Continuing from last week, we discuss the topic of therapy in general, but then dive deeper into our own personal experiences surrounding it.  We share stories and feelings about what we’ve learned about ourselves (good and bad) through the therapeutic process.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

@TheRageEpisodes

As 2022 comes to a close we celebrate our 100th episode and reflect on past content, including how far Calista has come in her transition. With 2023 upon us, we also set positive intentions and aspirations for the new year.  How can we improve ourselves personally and professionally?  What types of content should we focus on moving forward?

https://www.patreon.com/therage

@TheRageEpisodes

It's the end of the year.  Some people gather with friends, family and loved ones, while for others it's a time of isolation, sadness, and pain.  And thoughts of suicide can be more powerful for some.  In this episode, we discuss some of the darker feelings, triggers, and ways in which people can support those in need through active listening and meaningful connection.

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing thoughts of self harm, help is available.

Please call 988 for the National Suicide/Crisis Hotline -  https://988lifeline.org/

or, 877-565-8860 for the Transgender Lifeline -  https://translifeline.org/

https://www.patreon.com/therage

@TheRageEpisodes

Calista and Jennifer discuss their childhood experiences with family around the Christmas holiday and how it has changed over the years.  As adults, which traditions did they keep and which ones were ditched?  Can they move past old traditions if they didn't serve them well?  And what traditions are they creating now?

https://www.patreon.com/therage

@TheRageEpisodes

Jennifer is asked by a viewer to share her feelings of betrayal after Calista came out to her as a transgender woman.  Did she feel tricked?  Did she feel lied to?  And do cisgender women feel deceived when their gender questioning partner is finally able to come to terms with who they truly are?    

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

Jennifer asks Calista what the plans are for the holidays this year?  Is Jennifer welcome to join-in Calista's family festivities?  If so, will matching pajamas worn?  Then the conversation shifts to hair care and styling because Calista has a new look.  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

Calista and Jennifer share items of clothing from their wardrobes that should never EVER be worn again!  What were they thinking when they made these purchases?  From a Star Trek-inspired, satin, golden-yellow dress on Jennifer to a purple explosion of ink on a knee-length sheath on Calista that could double as a pajama slip.  Both were mistakes and are now on full display for everyone to see.  Tune in for the Irish nod to a "Seinfeld-esque puffy shirt," a throwback to what could be considered a drug-fueled Studio 54 look, and much more!

https://www.patreon.com/therage

@TheRageEpisodes

Jennifer shares with Calista a wedding memento that contains engagement photos of them surrounded by written sentiments from friends and family.  It had been used as a guestbook/keepsake and hung on their wall of their home.  Seeing Calista as her former self with Jennifer wrapped around in a loving embrace brings up a mix of feelings and memories for both.  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

Calista ponders what the next five years might look like for herself and asks Jennifer to weigh-in as well.  Could there be a spoken word performance in Calista’s future?  Will she move up north?  Does Jennifer plan to have any beauty enhancing surgeries?  Tune in to find out.  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

In this episode Jennifer, once again, shares feminine outfits from her closet for Calista and her to try on and critique.  There's floral wrap-around dresses, plain fitted-sheaths, animal-print dresses, skater-style mini’s, and body-hugging velvet cocktail minis.  In retrospect, these fashion looks might have been better to have reviewed prior to our mutual post-COVID weight gain, but nevertheless, it was fun! 😊  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

Jennifer pulls three pairs of outfits from her own closet for both she and Calista to try on and discuss:  a professional jumpsuit, a Gatsby-style 1920's inspired cocktail dress, and a fancy ballgown.  Calista has never worn anything like these styles before, so she weighs in on her experience.  Aside from the fact that neither of them were able to completely zip-up the back of their ballgowns, it was a success!  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

Calista and Jennifer answer difficult questions about life, themselves, and their values.  The off-the-cuff style made providing answers challenging, and a few tears were shed, but we did it!  Let us know in the comments what your answers would be to these thought provoking questions.  

https://www.patreon.com/therage  

@TheRageEpisodes

Calista reads a letter that she'd drafted prior to transition in anticipation of reaching out to a gender therapist during the time when she was questioning her gender identity.  She and Jennifer discuss the clinical nature of the questions and why she felt the need to put it on paper.   

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Continuing the discussion on the topic of BDSM, intimacy, toys, and “How  Kinky Are You?”, Calista and Jennifer finish answering questions from  the rest of the BDSM test.  Can you guess which one of them has made  animal noises to attract a partner? And which one has experienced a Yoni  egg?  

How Kinky Are You?
https://bdsmtest.org/  

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista asks Jennifer a series of provocative questions from a BDSM  website to gauge her level of interest in different types of kink.  How  interested or disinterested is she in the acts of dominance/submission,  pain/pleasure, role-playing/rituals, exploring fantasies, use of toys  and whether or not ropes/chains are allowed in intimacy?  Of course  Calista weighs in with ALL of her answers as well, so it's equally  embarrassing for both.  Tune in to find out which one of us is into the  Japanese fetish of Shibari rope bondage.  

Mom and Dad... please don't listen!!!  : )  

How Kinky Are You?
https://bdsmtest.org/  

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Jennifer asks Calista about some of the more unusual terms and modern dating lingo she has seen online.  Does Calista know the meaning of “Unicorn,” “Pillow Princess” or “Daddy Dom?”  Does she know the meaning of acronyms such as “GGG” or “ENM” and what they actually represent?  While Jennifer found this to be an interesting subject, Calista was hesitant.  Is this a boring subject or do you find it fascinating?  Take a watch/listen and tell us what YOU think and add to the list in the comments!  https://www.patreon.com/therage

A big regret of Calista's was getting a large, masculine tattoo when she was in her 30s.  Why did she do it?  Does Jennifer have any tattoos?  What else do they regret?  Tune in to find out these answers and hear how Calista solved her tattoo fail.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

What happens to a child’s living situation when a married couple breaks up?  Does that child have to split their time evenly between two homes?  Is it OK to enforce this, despite a child’s reluctance, in the hopes that it will eventually normalize?  These questions are discussed as well as financial responsibilities.  

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Jennifer found a list on the internet with 10 myths about being transgender and asks Calista to weigh-in by debunking them one-by-one.  What’s the truth about being trans?  What are the myths that society perpetuates about the trans community?  

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Jennifer asks Calista about her changing desires and sexual attractions over the course of her gender transition.  Do hormones play a part in who we are attracted to?  Is it our neurological wiring established in the womb that drives our sexual desire?  Does the way in which we were nurtured affect how we attach to others romantically?  What do you think?  

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Jennifer comes across an old photograph that Calista had gifted to her early on in their courtship.  On the backside is a secret handwritten message that evokes sentimental feelings.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Jennifer reveals the ways in which she has changed and grown as a person over the past four years since Calista came out.  From physical differences to her current emotional state, she shares it all.  And emphasizes how setting and maintaining boundaries has become a big part of her success in personal well-being.  

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista shares her process of coming out as a transgender woman.  Could there have been a different outcome if she’d done things differently?  Should she have gone slower in her process to become a woman?  It’s an individual process where one approach does not fit all.  It’s suggested that there are two types of people… cheetahs or sloths.  Which one might you be?  

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista shares the step-by-step process she took to change her name and gender legally.  Everything from how to find and fill out the forms to going before a judge in court.  But that's just the beginning.  What about her driver's license, birth certificate, passport, and more.  How to remove yourself from the internet.  And what about Jennifer while all this was happening?  What was her experience?

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista is fresh out from yet another surgery - her seventh in her lifetime, and her sixth for gender congruence.  So, what exactly did she have done?  Calista gives us the fresh fish on her latest slice and dice. 

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Jennifer and Calista share stories about the personal growth and leadership programs each has participated in prior to seeking divorce therapy. They further explain how these experiences built upon the other, changing their lives and creating a more successful outcome to their uncoupling.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista does a solo session answering viewer questions that specifically asked for her to respond.  Would she have done anything different in her transition?  What's next for her to explore? And, Calista responds to questions about transgender people in sports.

Jennifer films solo this week to discuss relying on her ex, (Calista).   Is it ok?  Is it a burden?  Should she become more independent?  Or is this a way to stay connected?  All these things are considered as she shares her thoughts.  What do you think?

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista and Jennifer talk about touch and how each of them experienced it growing up and how it's effected them as adults.  When and where is it appropriate, or not appropriate to touch someone?  Is the elbow really "the Switzerland of touch spots?"

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista shares her experience using shapewear to achieve a more feminine appearance during her transition.  Jennifer as well shares how she has used shapewear over the years as a cisgender woman.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

In this episode, we answer a series of questions sent in from one of our viewers, Martin who asks: will we ever get back together and remarry?  What happens to the social security Calista accrued while presenting  male now that’s she’s legally female? and more!  

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

In this episode, we answer questions from one of our Patreon supporters, David, such as: changes in our musical tastes?  Does our family approve of The Rage episodes?  Our thoughts on emotions related to sex, and more!

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

We continue our discussion with our special guest, Jeremy Olson, father of an  18-year-old transgender daughter.  Jeremy shares with us his experience and knowledge in being a supportive parent.   

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

In this week’s episode, our special guest is Jeremy Olson, father of an 18-year-old transgender daughter.  Jeremy shares with us his experience and knowledge in being a supportive parent.

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

Calista and Jennifer rehash their discussion from last week about transgender women is sports and and anti-transgender laws.  Together, they process their hurt feelings and the reasons why each felt they way they did.

Warning, this episode contains subjects that are emotionally triggering and politically divisive.  Viewer discretion is advised.

Jennifer and Calista have a heated debate about the current rash of anti-trans laws being enacted.  The emotional effect they have on Calista is profound and Jennifer feels personally attacked.

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

We take a walk down memory lane displaying personal items from our past.  Calista surprises Jennifer with a risque photo taken during a family vacation, while Jennifer asks to the whereabouts of a coveted object in Calista's possession.

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

Jennifer and Calista realize they have more thoughts to share in regards to the topic of intimacy and that trust is a key component.

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

Calista broaches a topic that Jennifer is not quite comfortable discussing on camera... How each of their significant others have impacted the relationship between the two of them?  Despite hesitation, they dive into the details of hurt feelings that continue to linger, unresolved.

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

Calista shares new revelations about her struggles with fear of intimacy and the prices she's paid as a result.  Jennifer shares how intimacy has changed over the years and what it looks like for her now.

Photographer and author, Corinne Cobabe Rushing, shares her experience writing and capturing images of over 300 people from around the world for her book "The Five Wisdom's Project."  The book, which was published in 2019, captures the rules of life or "wisdoms" and a portrait of each participant.  Corinne is a longtime friend and was one of the first to know about Calista's transition.  Please enjoy this episode and check out Corinne's work.  It's a beautiful coffee table book full of gorgeous portraits and great advice!

https://www.5wisdomsproject.com

Corinne Cobabe-Rushing, IG:  @corinnecobabephotography

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

Today we have our good friend, Corinne Cobabe-Rushing, here to help Jennifer create a new, quick-and-easy hairstyle look for Calista.  We talk about some of the products we think would work well on her fine, thinning hair and the reason why Jennifer chose to do a simple pull-back hairstyle.

Corinne Cobabe-Rushing, IG: @corinnecobabephotography

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

In this episode of The Rage, we discuss healing the brain and nervous system with our guest, neurofeedback specialist, Natalia Chydzik.  Together, the three of us dive into the use of neurofeedback technology to treat maladaptive coping mechanisms, unwanted behavior, and trauma.

In this week’s episode we talk with our very first guest!  Elizabeth Weiner, Founder of Canyon Creek Family Counseling, is a trauma-informed Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) who walks us through the different types of attachment styles we formulate and carry into adulthood based on childhood experiences with our primary caregivers.

https://www.patreon.com/therage/

https://www.canyoncreektherapists.com/

Instagram: @canyoncreektherapists

More questions from viewers like you who want to know everything from, “does Calista dye her hair?” And, “did her feet shrink from hormones?” To, “what type of breast implants does she have?” We answer all of it and more!

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista discusses with Jennifer her decision to schedule a revision surgery of her vaginoplasty.  What made her decide to have another surgery?  Did something wrong with her first GCS surgery.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista and Jennifer reach into their own respective closets to select items that they feel is complimentary or helpful in some way for their particular body shapes.  What aspects do they want to downplay or hide?  What aspects do they want to feature or highlight?  How do these items assist with this?  Basically, what items do they think look good on them and why?

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista and Jennifer have completed over a year’s worth of The Rage episodes.  What's changed since they began this journey?  What's remained the same?  And where do they want to go next?

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista and Jennifer share their early remembrances of pregnancy, child rearing, how that changed with Calista's transition and separation, as well as how they manage parenting a teenage child now.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

This week Jennifer asks Calista to provide a post-surgical wrap-up on all the procedures she has completed thus far.  From electrolysis, to breast augmentation, to facial feminization, to gender confirmation and  body contouring.  In particular, where each one registered on the pain scale and what kind of fear she may or may not have experienced leading up to each of them.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista and Jennifer discuss the excuses people use to not transition their gender and some of the ways that Calista overcame those challenges.  Change can be scary, but it can also provide new opportunities.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

In this week's episode, Jennifer and Calista tackle the subject of transphobia.  Jennifer shares her experience as a cisgender woman seeing how film and television has portrayed transgender people, while Calista delves into how she's struggled with internalized transphobia.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

In this episode, ore viewer questions are answered. Jennifer shares her thoughts on Calista’s pre-transition feminine behaviors, while Calista goes into her experience listening to subliminal audio programming to connect with her inner femininity.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

As we say goodbye to 2021, Jennifer and Calista reflect on their individual journeys of self-discovery and personal growth over the years as well as what has and has not changed about themselves.

This is the first Christmas that Jennifer and Calista will not be celebrating together and, for Jennifer, the first holiday not being with her daughter.  It's sad, but also part of the process of navigating how to move on, co-parent and create new traditions.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista gives the "skinny" on her latest gender-confirming surgery (body contouring).  Then she and Jennifer discuss the concept of self-care and explore what that means and how it looks for each of them.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista and Jennifer answer several questions posed from a viewer interested in our thoughts about what it's like now as a trans woman being around cis gender men, receiving compliments and generational acceptance.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

This week Calista was not available to film, so Jennifer gives her thoughts on the question of "What's it like to have a transgender family member?"  She also shares a few personal stories.  One in particular was the time she called the radio talk show "Love Line" seeking advice from Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Calista and Jennifer attempt to respond to a viewers question, "what does if feel like to be woman?" and find it much harder to define than would be expected.

https://www.patreon.com/therage

Jennifer becomes angry/hurt with Calista after viewing an interview wherein Calista misrepresented facts about their relationship, and also referred to Jennifer as "someone else's problem."  While this conflict could have gone nuclear, Calista and Jennifer chose instead to work through their feelings unrehearsed on camera.

Interview video: https://youtu.be/6BtHn9HL3as

https://www.patreon.com/therage

It's Halloween 2021 and Jennifer surprises Calista with a few costume changes for her to review.  They also discuss a past experience when Calista dressed-up like a woman for a Halloween party, but didn't tell Jennifer the REAL reason why she wanted to.  The end result was not what Calista had hoped for.

Jennifer and Calista, once again, get up-close and personal about boobs.  Calista answers questions about post surgery pain, numbness, scar  tissue and how well she's healing one year after her breast augmentation.  They also discuss bra types, nipple color and more!

Calista explains the female hormone regimen she implements as a MtF trans woman AND goes through the step-by-step process of how she  injects herself with Estradiol (E2).  It's informative and filled with fun tidbits such as the meaning of "the moans."

Jennifer, Calista and Athena make a cross country trek to attend a family wedding on the East Coast.  Is it awkward that Calista's girlfriend is also along for the ride?  Or that Jennifer's boyfriend dropped them all off at the airport?  How do the family dynamics work in this new arrangement?  And what about relatives seeing Calista in person for the first time since she transitioned?  We'll tell you all about it!

Calista and Jennifer take the 5 Love Languages test to learn what's most important to them in a romantic relationship.  Has what they thought was most important when married stayed true or have things change with time and gender identity?

Calista and Jennifer each share stories of their childhood exposure to sexually explicit materials and how it effected them.  They also discuss witnessing the rise in access to graphic pornography and how that effects them as parents.

Calista and Jennifer embark on a final family vacation to London and Paris, fulfilling a pre-transition promise made to their daughter.  But, while J and C were both on the same trip, each had very different experiences.

The first family holiday after Calista came out as transgender was Christmas. While the adults knew, their young daughter did not.  Wanting to keep the focus on unity and creating joyful memories, Jennifer continued the family tradition of having everyone wear matching pajamas. But even fuzzy-hooded llama pajamas weren't enough to keep the sadness out from a marriage falling apart.

Body image and the sound of our own voice is a big part of the adolescent human experience that can continue into adulthood.  Whether that image is positive or negative is a very individual thing.  For many in the transgender population the sense of not being in the "right body or with the right voice" is extremely troubling and is known as dysphoria.  Calista touches upon the differences of what it means to experience gender dysphoria versus body dysmorphia.

There can be confusion when it comes to identifying labels. What do all those letters stand for and how can we all be more inclusive to every type of population? Fortunately, Calista and Jennifer are here to break down the acronyms LGBTQIA2S+ along with other terms we found with a google search. Have we made things more confusing?  You be the judge!

In this episode, Jennifer asks a question she receives about parental labeling from cisgender people who are interested in Calista's journey as a MtF transgender parent, "Does your daughter still call her dad?"  Issues related to transphobia and imposter syndrome are also discussed as they relate to Calista's struggle for acceptance in a seemingly heteronormative world.

It's been several years since Calista began her transition journey.  How are she and Jennifer doing individually and as a family?  What has been their experience in "redefining what it means to be a family?"

Calista reveals that she's scheduled another feminizing facial surgery (FFS), while Jennifer responds to the question of why she decided to improve her appearance by getting braces on her teeth as an adult.

Six weeks have passed since Calista had her gender confirmation surgery (GCS).  She and Jennifer check-in with each other to discuss the aftermath of this life-changing procedure.

Calista relays her experience having now completed her gender confirmation surgery (GCS).  While she continues her recovery in the hospital, Jennifer shares her own feelings at seeing her former partner now fully medically transitioned.

It's the day before Calista's big day - her gender confirmation surgery!  She and Jennifer reflect on their past marriage and what it means to each of them now that Calista is crossing this "point of no return."

Body hair - the bane of many women (and men) the world over and the lengths we will go to get rid of it.  Electrolysis, laser, and shaving - what works best?  70s power muffs, landing strips, to completely hairless - yes, we go there.

Continuing the conversation, Calista discusses some of the ways she will need assistance during post-surgical recovery, whether she will be able to have orgasms and how her mom worries about everything.

Calista is two weeks away from having gender confirmation surgery and  Jennifer asks her the questions you've always want to know, but were  afraid to ask!

In this episode we discuss most everything boob related - the soft, the firm, the natural and the silicone!

In this episode we continue the conversation of what it's like to date as a transgender woman and a middle-age divorcée.

In this episode we discuss the heartache involved in letting go of our  old selves, and the items we still carry with us today that remind us of  a time now lost to the past.

Why did we decide to call our show, "The Rage?"  How did Calista choose her name?  And what's so important about names anyway?

Calista and Jennifer explain how each dealt with the emotional pain of parting ways.

Jennifer asks Calista to elaborate more on the ways in which she hid (and expressed) her femininity from shaving body hair to trying on her clothes, shoes and underwear.

A few months into the 2020 Coronavirus Pandemic Calista and Jennifer discuss (via zoom) the affects of isolation and not knowing how long the shelter in place will last.  Lack of professional grooming, lack of income, lack of in-person social interaction taking it's toll.

Now that Calista and Jennifer are no longer a couple, they discuss coupling with others - the good, the bad and the "what was I thinking?"

Calista is upset when she overhears a conversation between Jennifer and their mutual friends.  C and J also discover the value of a good couples  therapist who manages to keep them from spiraling out of control.

Jennifer asks Calista about her past experimentation with femininity  before transitioning and gets more details than she expected.

Trigger warning: Calista shares some of the darker events that took  place in her youth and how she's now working to heal herself from the  pain she can no longer keep hidden.