Things to CN do

Okay listen, 6 months isn't that long. What did you do in the past 6 months other than scroll on TikTok? That's right, we're back. Welcome to the inside action of our episode planning meetings. Do I dare even call this a meeting? Let us know what market place scams we should start. We need side hustles or hobbies. 

Mike and Chris spend some time admiring men's bodies, and then get into the discussion of who has been the best batman of all time, and admire Batmen's bodies. We ask the age long question, "Why is Zac Efron not batman?". We're boycotting movie theaters until they do they (not as if they are closed due to the pandemic). I'm writing this 6 months in the future, guess what stock is up ... AMC ... Thanks Elon. If you have a basic bro overload please call an ambulance.  

Find out why the Raps key to success is scaring their opponents into submission and punching Lebron in the face!

What an episode not structured around Mike's none sense intros!? Listen, I'm never going to keep preaching this ... climbing Mt Everest is no athletic accomplishment. Don't agree, fight me. Did you see that Everest movie on Netflix? Did any of those people scream athlete, no. Rich jerks ruining things just like Instagram Thots have ruined my avocado toast. WE HERE LOVE AVOCADO, but can't express this now because you ladies ruined it for us. Anyways, Chris and Mike walk you through their construction of the absolutely flawless, groundbreaking, routine in the gym to burn away any and all of that quarantine fat that's hanging on. Or not, just buy does sketchy fat burning pills on Amazon if you don't trust us. 

She's the only one that can stop Kayne becoming president and boy does she have our vote. The only thing more dynamic than t-swizzles voice is her breadth of men that she's dated. Zac Efron, cmon! Why didn't she just give him more of a chance it would have paid off in the end. Also why did she decide to date the third most attractive Jonas brother? So if things don't work out with the English Gentlemen TyTy you can probably test out your luck with Mike. Chris and Mike get in to the great American mystery that is Taylor Swift, and her new album Folklore, a album shrouded in mystery and history.

Did you guys know that you can put 5 saunas into one shopping cart? Pack your bags and bring your sugar daddy's credit card because we'll shed no expenses for this one. Hear how to make sure you give the most of your money possible to Costco for completely normal and necessary purchases. Also why Mt Everest is for losers, and Other ridiculous things people have spent money on. Listen, if you've ever though about climbing a mountain or slack lining get the hell off this podcast because we don't want you here. Goodbye and never climb mountains. 

Did you know that waterfalls apparently produce negative ions or that dung smoked food is a staple of Iceland? Probably not you uncultured swine, hence why the young more jacked version of David Attenborough is here to enlighten you. Slow classic music over beautiful scenery get out of here and give me some bass dropping Dubstep over Zac Efron taking a cold tub baby. Did Zac leave any chicken breast left in Iceland? Sadly, the only thing we wish he left behind was his shirt. The one thing we can all agree on is that this show better have an epic basketball show down between the wildcats and the local Icelandic team. Zac if you're reading this, we have a Marvel role just for you. Ryan Reynolds if you're reading this, I loved you in the 'Waiting' by the way, give Zac a role in your upcoming dead pool movie. Love the guys. 

We realized after this episode we need to start a change.org petition to send Dennis Rodman back to North Korea to film a reality TV show. So if you want to learn how to cheat nature and reprogram your mind all to dunk a basketball and flex on an empty playground, well look no further! The guy's take you through a step by step plan to dunking, also discuss the best NFL quarter backs, and the power of virginity. 

Listen, are you tried of feeling groggy and listening to Instagram influences telling you that celery juice is going to cure your hangover. Those 18 mimosas you chugged last night Becky aren't going to do you any favors in the temple of iron tomorrow. The guys discuss the best meals to eat before, during, and after your workouts to ensure you and everyone else get the most of it. The power of science, and intimidation of a live octopus are just a couple things explored. Also the dangers of being alone at a water park, and planning the perfect cooking show. We finally ask the long overdue question, "How old is too old to go to the Water Park alone?"

Chris and Mike break shatter stereotypes when it come to fruit. Why avocado's have no place in your fridge, orange juice is the worst scam since big Pharma, and cucumbers deserve their own religion among many others. Also, does music in the gym make you weak? Find out why the answer is yes. 

Learn to traverse the dangerous labyrinth that is Nation's Fresh Foods. From shark meat to pig blood, Honeydew soda to squid crackers. Chris and Mike discuss what to and not to buy. Also the guy's get into another Tiktok trend, should we all be doing coffee enema's? listen to find out.

Wait, so you're telling us there is more than 2 ways to eat chicken breast!? Listen, we were just as shocked as you are and somehow managed to write an entire episode. Spending one hour of your day listening to this will give you a greater appreciation of how many different ways your microwave can cook chicken. Honestly, if any of you know Zac Efron can you please ask him for his chicken breast smoothie episode since he ghosted us last week. We really have no idea how to talk about chicken for almost 90 minutes so I guess we'll ... wing it ... 

Unless you're The Rock and you have a private outdoor gym helicoptered to your private island (who even know's where he lives), you're probably in the same boat we are in. If you've ever had a conversation with someone and you didn't talk about how often you workout at the gym, you'll understand how grave the situation is right now. What are we supposed to do now, develop a personality? We here at 'Things to CN do' are sick of confining our post workout pump selfies to our bedrooms and have planned out how the gym is going to solve this pandemic. Once, you get through the introduction of us discussing the real probability that squirrel drones are spying on us, we promise that our solution will solve the gym crisis and restore order to the basic bro equilibrium. 

Listen we don't take many things seriously, but let's tone it down for a second. Some people go here for necessity, but we may be the only ones who go for leisure and sometimes leave empty handed. We've gone on dates, celebrated birthdays, signed leases and made life long friends inside these establishments, so our two cents are the ones you should take. Figure out why the No Frills marketing team is crushing it (are we Haulers now?) and why Whole Foods is selling you the new age American Dream on this weeks episode. If you don't end up doing a tour around the grocery stores of Southern Ontario after this episode we've failed you. Stay tuned next month when we get Zehrs tattooed across our necks.  

Remember being a little too young to be going out on the town, but somehow your older friend brings you behind an alley in downtown and Ta-Da next thing you know you're pouring yourself a pitcher? No this isn't a scene from a horror movie where you wake up without a kidney, this is the magic of the Green Room (or so it used to be). Come join Chris & Mike while they dive deep into the magical world of gang violence, fake business licenses and obscure menus that is this dive bar. If the Vietnamese mafia is listening, just know we got your back. Also, listen Korean baseball is totally underrated you'll get a lot of inside knowledge from us.