UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

If you've ever found yourself in a silent war with your body, or comparing yourself to everyone around you as soon as you walk into a room -- trust me, you're not the only one. But, here's a thought: what if it's not about changing what's on your plate, but rather rethinking how we consume these pervasive cultural stories that mess with our heads? In today's episode, we're going to chat about a chapter from my book that's all about how our patriarchal society shapes the way we see our bodies -- and how to reclaim our bodies as ours and ours alone, and appreciate them for the incredible vessels of life they truly are.

Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Behind the door of self-coaching lies an entirely new version of you and your life... but there are three keys required to unlock that door. Almost every time I coach someone, they're missing one, two, or all three of these keys -- and it's blocking them from the transformation they want. Today, I'll teach you exactly what the keys are, which one you might be missing, and what to do next. Let's go!

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/337

In this bonus episode, we delve into the common struggle of changing bad habits and behaviors. Kara shares her personal experience of feeling stuck in a cycle of vowing to be different but not knowing how, until she discovered the key to breaking free. Learn how understanding the impact of our thoughts on our behavior is the first step to creating lasting change. Plus, discover the disappearing bonus of the week in this limited mini-series!

Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head... and How to Get it Out," is a step-by-step guide designed to equip women and feminist allies with the tools to challenge the sexist messaging that's been ingrained in our psyche. Publisher's Weekly calls it a "galvanizing and motivating debut". Mel Robbins champions it as a playbook to "interrupt internalized age-old messaging." This is no mere self-help. It's self-liberation. Pre-order "Take Back Your Brain" now at unfuckyourbrain.com/book or by texting your email to +13479971784 with the code word "book". 

You know how it kind of feels like everything is going wrong with the world at once right now? There’s war, climate concerns, an upcoming election, and more. Staying on top of the news is so stressful but ignoring it doesn’t seem like an option either. It’s exhausting and demoralizing and it’s a lot for our brains to handle. But don't worry, I've got you. This episode is going to help you solve this conundrum and figure out how to stay informed and realistic without just bottoming out in despair.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/336

If you've ever felt like you're at the mercy of your negative emotions... you're not alone. And in a world of self-help advice that insists you should "Feel your feelings!", what are you supposed to do when those feelings become overwhelming, and you just want them gone? In this second episode of my new limited series, allow me to introduce you to the three Rs of emotions, and offer you three different ways of handling those negative feelings when they pop up (along with a sneak peek of my upcoming book, Take Back Your Brain!)

Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Have you ever felt embarrassed about perusing the self-help section of a bookstore or reading a self-help book out in public? Maybe you wonder whether trying to fix yourself is just the patriarchy at play in your brain. Do you even need to ‘fix’ yourself to begin with? To explore the answers to these questions, this episode is the first in a 10-part series aimed at getting us all on the same page about the foundation of feminist thought work. Listen in to hear the difference between sexist self-help and feminist self-help, and how one is deeply harmful while the other frees you. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/335

Have you ever worried that thought work might be helping you get comfortable with bad circumstances? Do you wonder if the idea that we're responsible for our circumstances is a form of gaslighting or victim blaming yourself or someone else? Does the thought ever pop into your mind "Thought work is for privileged people without real problems"? Tune in to today's very special episode for more on this, a sneak peek of my forthcoming book and updates on a very special bonus if you pre-order this week!

Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

Working hard has gotten a bad rep lately. When you’re creating something you’re passionate about, it’s unrealistic to think that it won’t be hard work. But there’s a difference between running yourself ragged because you’re trying to live up to someone else’s expectations or you think that’s the only way you’ll be successful, and working really hard on something you’re trying to bring into fruition. I’m joined by Oat Haus founder and CEO, Ali Bonar, as we discuss what entrepreneurship really looks like, why the journey and not just the destination has to be worthwhile, why “working too hard” is just another thing for women to police themselves about, and why no matter what your career is it’s ok to work hard.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/313

Society has a way of leading you to believe that the path laid out in front of you is unchangeable. But just because you see other people following the same path, doesn’t mean you have to follow it. In fact, embracing the power you have to create new ways of moving through the world is how you own your agency and create change in the world.     Today, I’m having a conversation with Trudi Lebron, one of my personal coaches, who specializes in diversity and inclusion work and creating just and ethical businesses.  Listen in as we discuss how you can create opportunities for yourself by claiming your agency, and how that can translate to creating business and institutions that treat people better.    

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/221

If you catch yourself worrying “Am I a bad person for thinking that?”, or carrying “Wtf is wrong with me!” guilt for the way you feel about something, congratulations: you’re a perfectly normal human. However, this level of concern about the moral value of your thoughts is unnecessary, and a little misguided! In this episode, I’ll read an excerpt from my new book, and talk about the importance of curious self-compassion (instead of self-judgment), and extending love to yourself in those moments. There's a better life waiting right next to you – you just have to believe it’s possible to see it.

Pre-order Take Back Your Brain here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/book

My book, Take Back Your Brain: How a Sexist Society Gets in Your Head – and How to Get It Out, is finally available for pre-order and it’s already been reviewed as “a galvanizing and motivating debut” and “genius.” It’s the most cutting-edge, useful, and concrete work I’ve ever produced, and I’m here this week to offer you the deal of the century. 

Listen in to learn how you can pre-order my book ahead of everyone else and the free bonuses I’ll be giving out weekly. I’m sharing the big-picture overview of the book, why I truly believe this is the best self-help book ever written, and how you can get a chance to win a private one-to-one coaching session with me.

Pre-order my book here: TakeBackYourBrainBook.com

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/334

Do you ever find yourself fixating on something that you thought you’d already resolved? No matter how long you’ve been practicing thought work, you’ve most likely experienced this in some area of your life. I know I have. So today, I want to share a concept that has really clicked for me in a new way recently and has given me so much relief.

Join me on this episode to hear what ghost thought patterns are and why they continue to haunt you, even after you’ve resolved the underlying thought problem. You’ll learn why our brains are in the habit of misdiagnosing threats to our survival, and a simple tool that will help you redirect your thoughts when your primitive brain engages in old, unhelpful patterning.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/333

What do you do when the success you've worked so hard for finally arrives... but doesn’t feel the way you thought it would? To help us dive into the mental drama around how we believe success SHOULD make us feel (but usually doesn't), I’m joined by marketing genius, Wall Street Journal best-selling author, and keynote speaker, Laura Gassner Otting. Her newest book, Wonderhell, explores why we chase achievement and success in the first place, and where to go from here. She’s on the pod today to share her insights on getting comfortable with discomfort, and the process she went through to redefine what success means to her.  

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/332

Imagine your partner, friend, parent, or boss says something to you that leaves you feeling angry, hurt, or otherwise extremely negative. Now you’re wondering, are you supposed to coach yourself out of this feeling, or do you say or do something about it? Join me on this episode to learn what to do the next time you find yourself asking the question, “Should I coach myself or should I say or do something?” I’m showing you the hidden assumptions that are driving this question, how this framing of self-coaching relates to our socialization as women, and a new way to approach the question of whether to coach yourself or take action.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/331

Is your partner wanting to move faster or slower than you to meet certain relationship milestones? We’ve been taught to see moving at different speeds than your partner as a huge red flag. However, Dr. Alexandra Solomon - a best-selling author, therapist, speaker, expert in the study of relationships, and my guest this week - believes pace discrepancies allow us to work on essential relational skills. She’s here to uncover the complexities that our relationships demand and share her top tips for opening up communication with your partner on this topic.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/330

You might already know this, but feeling loved doesn’t hinge on someone else loving you. Even if you grasp that external love can’t dictate your feelings, or recognize how societal conditioning shapes women’s views on love and dating, there may be hidden thoughts blocking you from accessing the emotions you crave. Tune in this week as I explore the distinction between loving and being loved, and which feels better. I’m sharing the fundamental socialization that has us assessing our relationships in unhelpful ways, and what happens when you switch your focus from being loved to loving.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/329

This week I’m talking numbing out with fellow life coach (and my platonic life soulmate and bestie) Rachel Hart. Whether you use drinking, eating, shopping, or Netflix binges, numbing is what we do to distract from, or try to get away from, negative emotions. Tune in to find out why it’s important to get to the root of why you’re numbing out, why numbing feels so good, and what many women are using numbing for.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/328

Now that the holiday glow and shininess of a new year has worn off, many of us find ourselves thinking that it’s time to buckle down and get busy — to start checking things off our to-do lists. You may have this idea of how you have to get these things done or that you have to do them a certain way and that might not feel great. But why? Tune in to find out how social programming is making you feel anxious — not just about your to-do list but in all areas of your life — and how you can get that socially-programmed anxiety out of your head in my free training, The Feminist Mindset Fix on February 10. Text your email to +1 347-997-1784, keyword “anxiety,” or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety to sign up today. 

As we wrap up this three-part series on goals, I’m going to talk about something that we typically don’t do when it comes to goals — analyzing what went wrong. Learn how to handle when life gets in the way of your goals, how to plan for the unexpected, and why analyzing what went wrong is key to your success.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/327

Ever notice how when you “mess up” with your goal, even just a little, it becomes so easy to stay off track? In part two of this three-part series about falling off the wagon with our goals, learn what the biggest cause of goal derailment is, what you can do to get back on track, and how you can learn to diagnose exactly what went wrong with your goal in my Get Back on the Wagon Challenge.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/326

In part one of this three-part series about falling off the wagon with our goals, I discuss why we fall off the wagon, how your current reaction to falling off the wagon is actually based on your misunderstanding of why it happens, and the one very important thing that most people get wrong about goals.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/325

I am so excited to share this news with you. My work and my business are evolving and it’s time to make some changes. Tune in to learn about the evolution of my business thus far, find out the secret that I’ve been keeping for SO long, see where things are headed for the future, and learn how you can become a founding member of the next phase in this life-changing work.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/324

I’m joined by Damona Hoffman, certified dating coach and author of F the Fairy Tale as we discuss unpacking the myths and socialization we’ve internalized about dating and relationships. Listen in as we talk about how you can use the skills that have made you successful in other areas of your life and apply them to dating, how to experience the joy of dating, and the key to designing the type of relationships you actually want.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/323

Many of us have a complicated relationship with New Year’s resolutions. If you’ve made them in the past but weren’t able to stick with them, listen to this episode to learn where you may have gone wrong in the past and how you can revolutionize your approach going forward. Plus, when you join the Clutch by midnight tomorrow, unlock this exclusive bonus designed to guarantee your success in 2024. Text your email to +1 347-934-8861 or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/clutch to join today.

Many of us really enjoy the planning stage of New Year’s resolutions — the stage where you’re buying new gym outfits or color-coordinating all of the time you’re setting aside on your calendar to write your book. But are you really planning for success? Or are you just enjoying the fantasy? In this episode, I’m going to teach you the biggest mistake people make in planning a resolution and how to actually plan so you can succeed.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/322

In this bonus episode, I’m joined by Vivian Tu, former Wall Street trader and author of Rich AF. We discuss the financial socialization and stigma women are faced with including the belief that women aren’t good with money and the idea that having money makes you a “bad” person. Learn what being rich really means (hint: it doesn’t mean having dozens of designer purses and handbags) and learn some practical tips for how you can get started on your financial journey to being Rich AF.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/personal-finance-vivian-tu

Now that you know the importance of resolutions, you may be wondering how you should actually go about choosing one. In this episode, I’ll teach you how to choose a resolution based on a positive motivator: your values. Listen in to find out why setting resolutions using shame as a motivator never works, how to set goals by aligning an area of your life with your chosen values, and how having a positive value-driven motivator for your resolutions can make all the difference.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/321

Resolutions have started to get a bad rap. And it is reasonable to be skeptical about resolutions — they can be self-critical, perfectionist fantasies of disillusionment. But goals are important, necessary even. Listen in as I explain why your brain gets comfortable staying in uncomfortable situations, why the New Year is a good time to set goals, and how goals can help you get to the life you dream of.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/320

Most of us have heard of the seven deadly sins, but don’t really know what they are, where they come from, or how they play into how women are expected to behave in our society. In this episode, I’m joined by Elise Loehnen, author of the New York Times best-seller, On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good. Tune in as we discuss the seven deadly sins and their origins (including the eighth sin that was eliminated), cultural programming and the effect it has on our lives, what exactly the patriarchy is and how it came to be, and why envy can be a sign of what you truly want. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/319

Let’s talk about anxiety. Specifically, socially-programmed anxiety. This is a type of anxiety that women, and people socialized as women, feel that comes from trying to live up to the impossible expectations of our society. We’re told we need to look a certain way, behave a certain way, and go about our lives making sure everyone else is happy. Trying to live up to these standards causes immense anxiety. And traditional anxiety-reducing methods like yoga and spa days don’t help.

On December 5 at 12 p.m. ET, you’re invited to my free training — the Feminist Anxiety Fix — where I’ll dive into what makes up and causes socially-programmed anxiety and what will actually solve it, for good. To register, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784, code word “anxiety” or visit https://unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety.

We’re getting to that time of year where we start slowing down to reflect on the previous year and start looking forward to the next one. And this is one of the most important episodes for planning, setting goals, and trying to change your life. In this episode, learn what an impossible goal is and how to set one in a way that serves you, understand how perfectionism warps our thinking and how that warped thinking is contributing to the way we think about goals, and how to differentiate between an impossible goal and a perfectionist fantasy.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/318

“When are you going to have kids?” is a question that many women are asked in their lives, sometimes by complete strangers. It’s just assumed that all women should want to have children. This week, Emmalee Bierly and Jennifer Chaiken, licensed marriage and family therapists and hosts of the ShrinkChicks podcast join me as we dig into the anxiety around having, or not having, children (whether by choice or not). Tune in to find out why you shouldn’t base your decision to have kids or not on not wanting to feel regret, how to navigate relationships with people who don’t have the same lifestyle choices as you, and tuning out the socialization we’ve absorbed around having children.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/317

To be able to create the outcomes that we want in our lives, sometimes we have to tone down the drama in our brains. But we often don’t have much perspective on whether or not we’re being dramatic, because as women and people socialized as women, we’re taught that simply having feelings is dramatic. Join me this week as I explain what I mean by “being dramatic,” how the facts of a situation may not be as dramatic as you make them out to be, why I think being dramatic can be harmful, and the beauty of learning that your thoughts cause your feelings, actions, and outcomes in your life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/316

Join me this week for a special bonus episode with hosts of the Girls Gotta Eat podcast, Rayna Greenberg and Ashley Hesseltine! Tune in as we discuss the intricacies of sex, dating, and relationships, breaking free from societal norms, celebrating the unfiltered truth about women's lives, and even their premium sex toy business.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/girls-gotta-eat

Rae McDaniel, gender and sex therapist and author of Gender Magic, joins me on the podcast this week to talk about the role of gender in a world where we all desire to walk around as our most authentic selves. ​​Even if we don’t have questions about our gender identity, we may question how we’ve been socialized in our genders or how to support others who have questions about their identity. Listen in as we discuss how a positive vision for your future can make it easier to handle challenges you encounter on your journey, gender freedom and what it means, and how exploring what you like is integral to knowing who you are.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/315

Thought work is not frivolous. It’s absolutely necessary, powerful work. The deepest power of thought work is helping us stay centered and grounded when challenging things are happening. Listen to learn the difference between clean and dirty pain, how to not be paralyzed in challenging situations, and how you can reduce and release suffering.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/314

Dr. Adrienne Mann and Dr. Tyra Fainstad conducted a study of over 1,000 women resident and fellow physicians, enrolling about half of them in a group coaching program, while the other half didn’t receive any coaching. The results were astounding — their research found that coaching drastically improves burnout, imposter syndrome, and self-compassion (among other things). They join me on the podcast this week as we discuss their study, learn why residents were the ideal group to do this research on, define moral injury as it relates to our careers, and learn why group coaching might be right for you.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/312

Let’s talk about anxiety. Specifically, socially-programmed anxiety. This is a type of anxiety that women, and people socialized as women, feel that comes from trying to live up to the impossible expectations of our society. We’re told we need to look a certain way, behave a certain way, and go about our lives making sure everyone else is happy. Trying to live up to these standards causes immense anxiety. And traditional anxiety-reducing methods like yoga and spa days don’t help.

On October 24 at 12 p.m. ET, you’re invited to my free training — the Feminist Anxiety Fix — where I’ll dive into what makes up and causes socially-programmed anxiety and what will actually solve it, for good. To register, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784, code word “anxiety” or visit https://unfuckyourbrain.com/anxiety.

We may be experiencing fear, grief, anxiety, and uncertainty about what's happening in the world, even if those events are far away from us. What we do together in this community is make space for our emotions and choose the thoughts we want to believe so we can show up better for the world outside of us, no matter what is happening. But sometimes you need support when you’re going through something hard, personally, politically, or both. This episode provides a reminder of specific podcast episodes that can support you during challenging times.

For a full list of these episodes, please go to: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/world/

We assume that clutter is inherently bad or a problem. And for many, lack of organization and clutter leads to anxiety, overwhelm, and stress. On top of that, we're absorbing socialization around the expectation to keep a perfectly tidy and organized home. Join me and values-based organizing expert, author, and coach Shira Gill as we discuss the perfectionist fantasy of organization, the mental or emotional blocks that may come up when you’re trying to get organized, how your disorganization may be caused by your thoughts, and how you can coach yourself into a more organized life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/311

No matter how long you’ve been coaching yourself, it’s normal to have blocks and challenges come up. If you’ve been self-coaching and just not seeing the results you want, there are a few specific reasons that may be holding you back. Tune in as I share with you the six primary blocks to self-coaching and find out why we really have to see circumstances as neutral, why we need to dig deep in our thought work practice, what role shame plays in thought work, and why insight alone isn’t going to change your brain.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/310

Enrollment for the Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching is officially open for certified coaches and licensed mental health professionals! This will be our only group in 2024, and the last group that I'm going to do as an advanced certification for trained coaches and for therapists. Join us to deep dive into feminist thinking and the history of women's legal, political, and social rights and roles that impact the way that women think today. If your clients have absorbed social messaging about women, their brains have been impacted by it. ACFC is how you coach your clients (of any gender) in ways that don’t diminish their lived experiences and get them better results.

Text your email address to +1 347 997 1784 and when prompted send code word ACFC or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/acfc.

Discover the power of coaching and therapy through a feminist lens on this week's podcast episode. Tune in as we explore how understanding the impact of socialization on women's brains can transform coaching and therapy and hear from Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching alumni Jen Fadden, Osaru Anyumba, Nicolassa Galvez, and Rachelle Siebke, as they talk about how ACFC has empowered them in their work and solidified their self-identity, the need to question established norms, how feminist coaching is also beneficial for men, and more.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/309

Calling all certified coaches and licensed mental health professionals! If your clients (of any gender) have absorbed social messaging about women, their brains have been impacted by it. Which means that whether or not you consider yourself a feminist, you need to be able to coach like one. Join my free training How to Coach Like a F.E.M.I.N.I.S.T. on September 26 at 1:30pm ET where I’ll teach you the 8 pillars of feminist coaching. Text your email address to +1 347 997 1784 and send code word FEMINIST when prompted or go to unfuckyourbrain.com/feminist to register for this free training today!

We all feel fear in our lives for all sorts of different reasons. Some fear can be useful and some fear can be unproductive. Regardless of whether your fear is useful or unproductive, it’s important to listen to it, not to give into it but to better understand its source. Tune in this week to my conversation with author, personal finance expert and host of the So Money podcast, Farnoosh Torabi, as we discuss the role fear plays as a natural instinct, how you can differentiate between useful and unproductive fear, what role fear plays in financial anxiety, the impact of fear on ambition, embracing a balanced perspective, and more.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/308

As a historically patriarchal institution, marriages of the past benefited the man far more than the woman. A man and woman became one legal entity, but the woman was essentially absorbed by her husband — she couldn’t hold a profession or make legal decisions for herself. She existed for procreation and unpaid labor. So what happens when despite knowing all of the statistics and all of the history, you think you still might want to get married? In part 2 of this series about my engagement, I focus on the decision to get married as it relates to socialization, why we can’t completely desocialize our brains, and why sometimes you just have to live with ambiguity and ambivalence.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/307

Most coaching certification and therapy programs don’t teach how to look at socialization and the way it impacts women’s brains and the way they think about themselves in the world. So I’ve created a brand new, free private podcast called How to Coach Like a Feminist: Adding A Feminist Lens to Coaching or Cognitive-Based Therapy.

In this limited series starting September 18, you’ll learn about marketing and selling, the client/coach relationship, how to set your client goals, the feminist coaching lens, and more. If you want to learn how adding a feminist lens to your work can completely change your coaching, text your email address to +1 347 997 1784 and enter the keyword COACH when prompted or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/coach. 

We're socialized to believe that the way other people act is about us. Women are socialized to want big romantic gestures from men, which they then equate to how much the man loves them, which equates to how valuable they are as a woman. Newsflash: Other people’s behavior is not actually about you.

Tune in this week to find out why our expectations of how we want other people to behave (in all sorts of contexts) are influenced by our behavior, how engagements and the expectations that go along with them are a microcosm of where we’re at in society today, and why elaborate engagements make less sense in today’s society than they did in the past.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/306

This week I’m joined by Executive Coach and Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching grad Jamie Lee as we discuss how to ask for and advocate for what you want in your professional life (and all parts of your life). Tune in to learn about the “outside the performance review network” that’s important to getting ahead, the 3-step framework for advocating for whatever it is you want in your professional life, and how to interrupt the unintentional thought patterns that are holding you back.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/305

The things you do and the choices you make —the direction in which your “life GPS” is set — determine the outcomes in your life. So if there’s an area in your life where you aren’t happy with the outcomes you’ve been getting or you feel bad about them, you may need to check what your GPS is set to. Tune in to this week’s podcast to learn how to make sure your GPS is set to a destination that you can actually reach, why your destination doesn’t have to be a concrete goal, and what you’ll need to do to reach your destination. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/304

Nearly all of us will experience a breakup at some point in our lives (if we haven’t already). No matter how or why the relationship ends, it’s what we choose to do once that relationship is over, that really matters. This week on the podcast, fellow coach Ali Ryan is joining me to talk about using thought work to navigate breakups, divorce, and separation. We’ll discuss how breakups can be a tool for transformation, why the relationship with yourself may be the most important when you’re going through a breakup, and what you gain from being willing to have a happy ending, even though the relationship is over.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/303

Vacations. Most of us can’t wait to get away and just chill out. You might imagine yourself in a gorgeous location, eating delicious food, seeing beautiful sights, lounging by the pool or at the beach, feeling rested and happy. Or maybe you find yourself dreading it because you’re already counting the things that are sure to go wrong. So, how can you prepare for the disappointment that may come with a perfectionist fantasy like scenario one? And how can you avoid letting difficult or frustrating circumstances, like scenario two, ruin your entire trip? Tune in this week to find out how you can enjoy your vacation no matter what happens.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/302

Every one of us has received social messages not only about how we should spend our time, but also what kind of morality is attached to how we spend it. Women have an added layer of time socialization on top of this, because we’re socialized to believe that we exist for the purpose of doing things for others. It’s no wonder many women in today’s world feel like they never have enough time.

This week I’m having a conversation about women and time with the host of the Feminist Time, Productivity, & Rest podcast, Vikki Louise. We discuss why waking up one hour early isn’t going to solve your time problems, how the existing time structure was not created with women in mind, and how your thoughts can be the biggest time suck.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/301

Fun, joy, and pleasure should come naturally to us, right? But if your brain is anything like mine, they may not come that easily. Patriarchy and our socialization can make pleasure, joy, and relaxation hard to access, and these are things that I really want us all to experience more of this summer.

This August inside the Clutch, we’re hosting Feminist Summer School where we’ll have special bonus trainings and challenges focused on fun, joy, and pleasure from a feminist thought work perspective. If you want to join in the fun, you have to join the Clutch by July 31. Text your email address to +1 347 934 8861 or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/summer to join us.

There’s too much goodness inside the Clutch to contain it to just one episode, so here comes Part Two! Here’s your chance to get a look inside my feminist monthly coaching program. In Part Two of this episode, I’ll share about the power of coaching – especially one-on-one coaching – and you’ll find out why it’s ok to need support, how you can regulate your nervous system when your anxiety is high, and how you can join the amazing Clutch community.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/300.5

Whether you’re a new listener and unsure what the Clutch even is or you’re a long-time listener who’s always been curious about the Clutch, here’s your chance to get a look inside my feminist monthly coaching program. In Part One of this episode, I’ll share what led me to become a life coach, the Clutch Community Manager will tell you about all the goodness inside the member’s only Clutch site, and our Clutch Coaches will break down some of their favorite resources that are included in the Clutch.

 Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/300

This week I’m joined by EbonyJanice, author of All the Black Girls are Activists. Tune in as we discuss how to reclaim authority over your own life, how doing the work to show up as your true self is a political act, why wellness culture and the idea of a “soft life” can be misleading, why your inner guard dog may sound different than you think, and more.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/299

As women and people socialized as women, we’re often making decisions from an emotional place, deciding what to do based on whether doing it or not is going to make us feel worse, aka ashamed or guilty — two emotional states that we’ve been taught to avoid. Tune in to find out why guilt and shame are not moral truths of the universe (and what they actually are), and how deciding what to think and feel on purpose will help you lead a life that’s aligned with your values.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/298

Oftentimes the thoughts we think aren’t what’s most important; it’s our reaction to them that really matters. This week I’ll discuss why the way you react to your thoughts can be more important than the thoughts themselves, how your reaction may make your emotional experience worse, and how cognitive dissonance between your new thoughts and your old thoughts can actually work in your favor.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/297

Many of us feel stuck when we experience the discomfort of anxiety. But ironically, it’s not the anxiety itself that keeps us stuck, it’s what we do when we’re anxious that keeps us in the cycle of anxiety and inaction — aka psychological avoidance. This week on the podcast we’re digging deep into the brain with Dr. Luana Marques, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and author of Bold Move. We’ll discuss the three skills you can use to move through psychological avoidance, why aligning with our values can be difficult for women because of the way we were socialized, and how to know if you’re thinking clearly or if your brain has been hijacked by your amygdala.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/296

The way you think about how you were raised, especially if there were certain things you didn’t like about your caregivers’ behavior, can have a big impact on you in adulthood — whether you’re a parent or not. This week on the podcast I discuss the unintended consequences of basing your self-worth as a parent on being different than your parents were, how demonizing characteristics of your caregivers inevitably leads you to demonizing parts of yourself, and what the underlying solution is to these problems.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/295

Things are going to get a little hot and steamy this week as I talk sex with Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex with Emily podcast. We discuss why many women are not having the pleasurable fulfilling sex lives they want to. Listen in to find out what a sex IQ is, why sex should be part of your overall wellness plan, and how getting to know yourself can lead to better sex.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/294

Tune in to this episode as I answer some questions about boundaries, breakups, and relationships. You’ll find out how you might be thinking about boundaries the wrong way, why enjoying your own company has nothing to do with wanting to be in a relationship, and why you can’t rush through the emotional process after a breakup.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/293

Now that we know how and why we criticize others (and ourselves), what can we do to stop being so critical (if we decide we want to)? In this podcast episode, I’ll teach you some thoughts you can use to work through being critical, how to check in with your motivation behind your critique, how to redirect your thoughts about a specific person or thing, and general techniques you can use to stop being so critical.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/292

Being critical of other people is something that many of us do so often that we may not even realize we’re doing it. And not only do we criticize others, we often (maybe even constantly) criticize ourselves. But why do we do it? Tune in to find out what criticism is and understand why we do it, the good reasons why your brain may default to being critical, and how criticism has more to do with you than the other person.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/291

Adults are being diagnosed with ADHD more and more these days. And receiving the diagnosis alone is helping many folks make sense of certain behaviors they have that have always been a bit quirky. But for some, a diagnosis of ADHD can also bring up feelings that are difficult to navigate.

This week I’m joined by life coach and host of the I Have ADHD podcast, Kristen Carder, for a conversation about thought work and neurodivergent brains. We discuss why ebbing and flowing may be better than consistency, why lack of motivation is not a problem, and how to support yourself or any neurodivergent person in your life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/290

There is a difference in how I feel about loving my partner and how he feels about loving me. And recently, while trying to work on creating more feelings of bliss for myself in our relationship, I realized that my socialization as a woman was affecting the way that I approached loving my partner. And this socialization doesn’t just affect romantic relationships, it can affect your platonic relationships as well. Tune in to find out the difference between loving someone else and being loved, which feels better, and how you can create more feelings of bliss in all your relationships.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/289

We’ve all experienced loss and grief at some point in our lives. And while we may hear that there’s a set number of steps to go through or a timeline to follow, grief doesn’t really ever end. But, you do get to decide who you want to be after the loss. I’m joined by Krista St-Germain, Master Certified Coach and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast, this week on the podcast as we discuss how the socialization of women in our society affects the way that we grieve, what post-traumatic growth is (and how not to use it against yourself), and how you can get over the grief plateau and learn to be truly happy again.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/288

As humans, logic and reason reassure us that something could or could not work — they help us make sense of what we perceive as possible. But logic and reason can only take us so far. They alone will never be able to convince us to do something we’ve never done before. Where logic and reason run out, that’s the point where we have to decide to take a leap of faith (or not).

Tune in to this week’s episode to find out why a leap of faith may be the missing piece for you to create meaningful change in your life, the role tolerating risk plays in making changes, and why feeling anxious about making a change doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a bad idea.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/287

Today is my birthday! It’s a day I love for all the obvious reasons, but it’s also a time when I love to reflect and take stock of my life and how it’s changed over the past year – and there has certainly been a lot of change in the last year! It didn’t happen all at once. But little bits of change over time have added up to massive shifts. And that’s the process I teach you in the Clutch, my monthly feminist coaching program. We only open a few times a year and we’re open now through Tuesday, May 2nd. Text your email address to +1.347.934.8861 (no code word needed) or visit unfuckyourbrain.com/clutch to join today.

Is there an alternate version of your life that you fantasized about having, that you didn’t get to experience? When we don’t let ourselves grieve or acknowledge those fantasies that we left behind, it can sometimes cause us to get stuck or be unable to make decisions and move forward in our lives. Tune in to this week’s episode to find out what I mean by grieving a life you won’t live, how to do it, and why feeling regret doesn’t mean you made the wrong decision.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/286

We might call massages, face masks, and shopping sprees self-care, but often they’re really just illusions of self-care. It looks like we’re doing these things to take care of ourselves but we never really address the core issue of what’s causing the stress. True self-care gets to the root of the problem and tackles it head on. And when you truly start taking care of yourself, that’s when you start seeing big changes in your life. This week I’m joined by Dr. Pooja Lakshmin. We discuss what real self-care is, how to be proactive instead of reactive with your self-care, and how true self-care is a revolutionary movement.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/285

As women and people socialized as women, we have literally been taught to NOT trust ourselves. We’re bombarded with messages that tell us we aren’t capable of making sound decisions, or of even knowing what’s best for ourselves. This messaging causes us to seek out answers from literally anyone who’s not us and constantly second-guess ourselves. The Stop Second-Guessing Yourself Challenge can help you change that and it’s happening April 17-21. Text your email address to +1 347 997 1784 and respond with code word TRUST when prompted to get all the info you need to register. 

For more information visit https://unfuckyourbrain.com/trust

Some of us are second-guessing ourselves all the time and don’t even realize it — especially women, because we’re actually taught to think this way. We’re taught that we don’t have the authority to make the right decisions — that we don’t know what’s best, not even for ourselves. If you struggle to make a decision, tune in to find out the 3 different types of second-guessing, what happens when we do it, and why it’s such a problem.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/284

Perfectionism is everywhere, it’s sneaky. And this week I want to talk about a little thing I like to call wellness perfectionism. No matter what tips, tools, and tricks we know for regulating our minds (and nervous systems) there’s no way for us to avoid having the human experience. This week I discuss what wellness perfectionism is, how you can see it showing up in your life, and how not to use wellness against yourself.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/283

Money can bring up a lot of tricky feelings - especially for women. But no matter where you are in your money story, here’s the good news: you can rewrite it if you choose. Join me, and money speaker and educator Tori Dunlap, in this episode as we explore our money mindsets and the social conditioning that comes along with them. We talk financial feminism, learning to navigate living in a capitalist society while doing the least harm, and common misconceptions about investing.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/282

This week I tackle listener questions including whether or not everything that happens to you is your fault because of your thoughts, how to coach yourself through anger, the right questions to ask yourself when self-coaching and more (including my thoughts about pineapple on pizza).

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/281

When you have goals and aspirations it’s normal to look for someone that can help you reach them. Having a mentor to help guide you can be a great thing. But sometimes as mentees, we put our mentors up on a pedestal. And when we believe our mentors —and not ourselves — have the answer to our success, we strip ourselves of our own authority and power. The same thing goes for coaches.

Tune in to learn how to take the hierarchy out of your mentor and coaching relationships and how the most important mentorship relationship is the one you have with yourself. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/280

What if there were one question you could ask yourself that immediately put you in touch with your highest priorities, your deepest values, and how you want to live in the world? In this episode, you will learn the question I ask myself to instantly gain perspective and clarity on what matters most to me. Tune in to learn how this question can change your life, too.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/279

Whether we’re at the top of a corporation, running our own business, or working as an employee, we’ll often find a million different ways to outsource our leadership to others. But if we can do the hard work of learning to trust ourselves as the ultimate authority over our own lives, that’s where the magic happens.

This week I’m joined by online business legend, Amy Porterfield. Tune is as we dismantle some of the myths about starting your own business and discuss developing a CEO mindset, how socialization affects female entrepreneurs in particular, and the biggest mistake Amy made in her first year of business (so you can avoid it too - whether you have a business or not).

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/278

I am Jewish, but I don’t consider myself to be particularly religious or spiritual. I know that may seem strange or like there’s a disconnect there, but Judaism is more than just a religion. So it doesn’t fit into the westernized ideal of what a religion is or should look like. This week on the podcast I share three ways Judaism has shaped my work in the world and I take a look at how the things that you learn as part of being in a religious community or any other kind of community impact how you think about the world.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/277

Emotional growth doesn’t always feel great. But it doesn’t have to feel terrible, either. You get to choose whether or not you put the time and energy into changing a certain aspect of your life. The key is being able to recognize the difference between giving up on something because you think it’s too hard, and choosing to pursue something else that is more interesting and important to you. This week we’ll revisit a very important topic: How to know when emotional difficulty is worth it. I’ll teach you why the hardest things are not always the most worthwhile.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/276

I truly believe self-love is the antidote to a lot of our self-created mental and emotional suffering — life sucks when you’re going through it hating yourself — but self-love is also often misunderstood. Tune in this week as I break down three common myths about self love. I’ll talk about why self-love is not selfish (and what it really is), how self-love will not get rid of all of your negative thoughts about yourself, and why self-love is a journey, not a destination.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/275

No matter how much love you do or do not feel on February 14, Valentine’s Day is just a made up ‘holiday.’ Yet we’ve been socialized to believe that a woman’s worth is dependent on having a certain type of romantic relationship. This week on the podcast I’m going to break down some common misconceptions about love. Join me as I discuss why love is not a state of being you simply arrive at, the real reason why you do (or don’t) feel loved, and why we think that love is an obligation. 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/274

The workplace can be challenging for a lot of people, but women and those socialized as women face a further set of challenges. This week on the podcast I’m joined by Jenn Deal, Annie Framand, and Jamie Lee (three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students) to discuss what ambition is and why women have trouble identifying with it, how to advocate for yourself in the workplace, and the right way to negotiate.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/273

This week on the podcast, I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Deb Malkin, Jill Angie, and Sarah Shiozawa as we discuss exercise — its risks, rewards, and morality. Tune is as we offer our definitions of exercise, unpack the “why” behind our exercising, and discuss the power of choosing for yourself what you do with your body.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/272

I hear from clients all the time how hard it is to build new friendships in adulthood. But is that actually true? Or are we making that be true by holding onto outdated beliefs about friendship? If you desire more friendships in your life, you won’t want to miss my discussion with Dr. Marisa G. Franco. Tune into this week’s episode as Dr. Franco and I discuss how outdated ideas about friendship can make it harder to form new ones in adulthood, how looking to friends to make you feel good about yourself can be a recipe for disaster, and the role that romance plays in friendships.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/271

I like to call this the most delusional time of the year because many of us use this time to make goals and resolutions for the coming year that are completely unrealistic for the people we are right now. No wonder many resolutions go unfulfilled; our goals are out of touch with reality. Tune in to this week’s podcast episode to learn one simple concept that will change your habit-making life, how this concept can keep your goal alive even when all hell breaks loose, and how you can tell whether or not your goal is really just a fantasy you’re chasing.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/270

I love the way I dress, but lately I feel like there’s been some disconnect in my style. I’ve changed, and so has my business, and I want my style to evolve as well. But I found myself not really knowing how to get my outward style to match my inward expression and where I’m at currently in my life.

Tune in as one of my friends and style coach, Judith Gaton, helps me hone my style and we discuss how to mesh different aspects of your personality into your style, how you can use your thoughts and your style to create the person you want to be, and how it’s never really about the clothes — it’s your thoughts about yourself in them.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/269

This week on the podcast, I’m joined by three of my Advanced Certification in Feminist Coaching students, Sade Curry, Candice Toone, and Karen C.L. Anderson as we break down how patriarchal conditioning affects the way our mothers parent us. Tune is as we discuss mothers and mothering, how socialization impacts what we expect from mothers, and what work you can do (even on your own) to repair a mother or parental relationship in your life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/268

Why is it so hard for us to believe that we’re the authority? It’s because as women, we were socialized to think that way (shocking, right?) — to feel like we’re not quite adults and we’re just faking it till we make it. In this special podcast episode, you’ll hear an interview I did with Sarah Nicole on The Papaya Podcast. We’ll discuss how our socialization affects why we don’t see ourselves as adults, how women are taught to believe that our value fluctuates, and the conflict and tension inherent in being a working mom.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/267

How do you treat yourself when you don’t get the result you want? Or when you’re wrong about something? Or when you act in a way that you don’t like? Do you have your own back in these situations or do you make it mean there’s something wrong with you as a person?

Listen in as I discuss the difference between doing wrong and being wrong, how thinking you’re wrong can actually make you less likely to fix what went wrong in the first place, and how shame from being wrong keeps you from going after what you want in life.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/266

We often think romantic relationships have a natural progression, right? You meet the perfect partner, you start dating, and as things get serious you start talking about your future together — which usually involves moving in together, marriage, and maybe even kids. But the truth is, you and your partner always get to decide what your relationship looks like - even if it’s different from society’s expectations. This week on the podcast, in the conclusion of a 2-part series, the Gentleman Consort and I discuss getting to decide what our relationship looks like, how we’ve grown since we began dating, and what we love most about each other.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/265

This week, my partner, the Gentleman Consort (GC for short), is making his podcast debut and you’re going to get a behind-the-scenes peek at our relationship! In part 1 of this 2-part series, we cover the gamut from first impressions and first dates, to the GC’s introduction to thought work, to feeling disappointment in a relationship, to how perfectionism and communication affect your relationships.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/264

Just a few weeks ago we closed out our last Clutch College Live for a while. Over the course of the 3-day, live, in-person and virtual event, minds were blown and breakthroughs were made. A lot of what I coached on had to do with goals — and I want to share some of the amazing takeaways that came out of that weekend.

Tune in to find out the real reason you don’t set goals, what we’re actually afraid of when we’re agonizing over a decision, how to be prepared for the inevitability of your brain offering you an old thought that will not help you reach your goal, and how life is always 50/50, no matter what.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/263

How often do you spend time thinking about what’s possible for you? As women, we’re socialized to make ourselves small and not go after what we really want. That in order to have what we want, we have to suffer for it now to get our ‘reward’ later. But when we surround ourselves with other people who can help us hold space for the larger vision we really want for our lives, that’s when the “impossible” really starts to feel possible. Listen to this special episode to learn why we’re really afraid to imagine what’s possible and how women are changing their lives inside the Clutch. Doors to the Clutch are open now through November 8, 2022. 

Giving yourself permission to want the things you want *and* to go out and get them is one of the most powerful decisions you can make in your life – and it’s also one of the hardest. This week I continue my conversation with my friend and mentor Brooke Castillo where we dive into the feeling of worthiness, why it’s ok to want more than what you have, and how tapping into what you really want helps you show up most powerfully in the world.

Get full show notes and more information here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/262

I’m extremely proud of all of the work I’ve created as a coach. But if I had to pick one thing I’m most proud of, it just might be the incredible, supportive community I’ve helped create inside the Clutch, my monthly feminist coaching program. New Clutch chickens are always amazed that a community of this size, with this much diversity, is truly showing up to engage in thought work *without* any drama and is working to create whatever results they want in life. Listen to this special episode to hear just a few of the incredible stories of how women and people socialized as women are changing their lives inside the Clutch. Doors to the Clutch are open now through November 8, 2022.