UnF*ck Your Brain: Feminist Self-Help for Everyone

Women are taught not to think too highly of themselves, not to stand out, and certainly not to suggest that they might be extraordinary. But what if that socialization is exactly what’s keeping you from creating the life you actually want? In this Classics episode, I share a personal breakthrough about how I had unconsciously been making myself smaller, even while teaching other women to do the opposite. I realized that my reluctance to talk about my own success was rooted in a deeply ingrained belief that owning what makes me extraordinary somehow meant thinking I was better than other people.

I explain why being extraordinary has nothing to do with being more valuable or important than anyone else, and everything to do with learning to think for yourself, stop living your life around everyone else's expectations, and take responsibility for creating the life you want. You'll hear why sharing what's possible isn't about making yourself the center of attention, but about showing other women what they can create for themselves. Because your version of extraordinary doesn't have to look anything like mine.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/541

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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You can’t just think a new thought and expect your brain to believe it. If you’ve ever tried telling yourself you’re worthy, confident, or beautiful, only to have your brain immediately argue with you, you know what I’m talking about. In this Classics episode, I’m revisiting one of the most powerful tools I teach for changing your thoughts: the thought ladder. I’ll explain why thinking something and actually believing it are two very different things, and why trying to force yourself to believe a thought that feels completely out of reach can leave you feeling even worse.

You’ll learn how to use the thought ladder to move from the thoughts you currently believe toward the thoughts you want to believe, one manageable step at a time. I’ll share practical techniques for finding ladder thoughts your brain can actually get on board with, including how to make a thought feel less personal and how to know when you’re ready for the next step. Thought work is not about transforming your brain overnight. It’s about practicing small changes that add up to a fundamentally different relationship with yourself.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/540

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Your maid of honor didn't come to your wedding, and you're still hurt about it. How do you move on when someone you care about misses an event that was supposed to be so important? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about lingering hurt and why we can get stuck replaying someone else's behavior long after the event itself has passed.

I'll help you unpack the thoughts you're having about what her absence means, from what you think a maid of honor or a good friend should do to what you're making it mean about how much she cares about you. You'll learn how to separate the facts from your interpretations, question the assumptions you're making about her intentions, and find some room to let go of the hurt without pretending you weren't disappointed.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/539

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Women are taught that anger makes us difficult, irrational, or unlikeable, while men’s anger is often treated as justified or even heroic. So what happens when you learn to suppress your anger, even when something genuinely matters to you? In this episode, I share a coaching story about a client who was angry about the unequal division of household labor in her marriage and refused to accept the idea that her anger was the problem. We talk about how women are socialized to repress anger and why that can come at a real cost.

I’ll explain why anger is a normal human emotion, but that does not mean every angry reaction is useful or aligned with your values. You’ll learn how to distinguish between feeling angry and acting out of anger, how to decide whether your anger is telling you something important, and why you can allow yourself to feel it without letting it control your behavior.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/538

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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What does nervous system regulation actuallymean, and how does it relate to your emotions? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about the difference between feeling an emotion, experiencing nervous system activation, and being “regulated.”

I explain what people are actually referring to when they talk about nervous system regulation, why being regulated does not mean you never feel angry, sad, or ashamed, and how awareness of your body can support your thought work. You’ll learn why the goal is not to eliminate uncomfortable emotions, but to notice what is happening, give yourself the support you need, and choose how you want to respond.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/537

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Have you ever avoided dealing with a problem because facing it felt too overwhelming, uncomfortable, or scary? In this episode, I share a story from my own life that shows exactly how much worse problems can become when we avoid addressing them. We’ll look at why your brain is so drawn to avoidance, even when you know intellectually that avoiding something will not make it disappear.

I explain what is happening when your brain tries to protect you from discomfort and why the short-term relief of avoidance often creates bigger problems later. You’ll learn how to identify the problems you may be avoiding, understand the emotions underneath that avoidance, and start approaching difficult situations with more courage and clarity.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/536

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Do you find yourself comparing yourself to every woman you see when you are out with your partner? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about hyper-vigilantly scanning other women and feeling like you are constantly being ranked against them.

I share why this pattern is not a personal failure, but a result of the way women are socialized to see other women as competition for attention, validation, and being chosen. You’ll hear why the solution is not trying to prove that you are the most attractive person in the room, but building a sense of your own value that is not dependent on your appearance or someone else’s approval.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/535

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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What’s the point of setting goals if you already feel how you want to feel? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about thought work and goals, and why it can feel like your whole motivational system breaks when you stop chasing goals just to feel differently about yourself.

I also answer a question about the philosophical underpinnings of thought work, moral objectivism, and whether thought work requires you to believe there is no objective good or bad. You'll hear why thought work is not a purity exercise, why it can still be useful even if you do not take it to the same radical place I do philosophically, and why working against patriarchy can come from preference, values, and desire rather than objective proof.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/491

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What does it really take to own your success? In this episode, I’m joined by two of my clients, Cecilie Nielsen and Megan Negendank, to talk about what happened when they stopped treating their goals as proof of their worth and started building a stronger relationship with themselves. We discuss what it looks like to grow a business, achieve ambitious goals, and still learn how to trust yourself, take care of yourself, and enjoy the life you are creating.

Cecilie and Megan share the mindset shifts that helped them move through fear, burnout, self-criticism, and uncertainty while continuing to grow. You’ll hear why success does not eliminate doubt, why the goal itself is not the thing that creates fulfillment, and how trusting yourself can change the way you approach entrepreneurship, challenges, and the next big thing you want to create.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/534

Learn more about the Mission Impossible Mastermind here: https://unfuckyourbrain.com/mim

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Learn more about Megan's work: https://www.lovehealgrow.com/

Learn more about Cecilie's work: https://www.cn8.co.uk/

Why does planning a wedding so often bring up feelings of not being good enough? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about why wedding planning can trigger insecurities around your body, age, money, and worth. I explain how weddings have become tied up with social expectations, commercialization, and the pressure to create a perfect version of yourself.

You'll hear how thought work can help you untangle the beliefs underneath those feelings, question the unrealistic standards you are holding yourself to, and decide what your wedding is actually about for you.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/533

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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We are all going to age. So why are women constantly being sold the idea that aging is something we should fight, prevent, or fix? In this episode, I unpack why the entire concept of “anti-aging” is worth questioning and how the pressure to look younger keeps women focused on monitoring, improving, and judging themselves instead of living their actual lives.

I talk about why anti-aging is an impossible goal, how beauty standards shape the way women relate to themselves, and why changing your appearance cannot create the feelings you are actually looking for. You’ll learn how to take back authority over your own thoughts about aging and build a relationship with yourself that is not based on constantly trying to improve or fix who you are.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/532

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When you are struggling to accept a painful reality, the question is not just “Why am I resisting this?” but “What am I afraid I will have to feel if I accept it?” In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about her mother’s cognitive impairment diagnosis and why she cannot bring herself to learn more about what it might mean.

You’ll learn why acceptance is not something you can force by gathering more information, and how exploring the thoughts and emotions underneath your resistance can help you process difficult situations with more compassion.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/531

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Do you wish you could stop caring so much about what other people think? The problem is, you can't just tell your brain to stop caring and expect it to magically let go. In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down why so many women are stuck worrying about other people’s opinions and why the solution is not caring less about what they think, but caring more about what you think.

You’ll learn why your brain fixates on other people’s judgments, how women are socialized to prioritize external approval, and why the thoughts you are afraid other people have about you are often the thoughts you still believe yourself. I show you how to build new beliefs that actually create freedom, so you can stop organizing your life around imagined opinions and start trusting your own perspective.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/530

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Do you want to share your ideas more boldly, but find yourself holding back because you’re afraid of how people will react? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about becoming a more provocative thought leader in her business and what to do when fear of criticism gets in the way.

I share what this has looked like in my own business, from putting off topics I knew would push people’s buttons to working through the fear of backlash as I continue to grow. We talk about why you do not need to find the perfect thoughts that make you feel completely confident before you take action, and why learning to move forward while feeling uncomfortable is part of doing meaningful work.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/529

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What truth are you refusing to admit because you’re afraid of what it will mean? Maybe you know you want a different role at work, you’re questioning whether something in your relationship is working, or you keep saying yes to things you secretly do not want to do. In this episode, I share a recent moment when I realized I was doing exactly this in my own life.

I discuss why your brain loves to confuse “this is true right now” with “this will always be true,” and how that keeps you stuck fighting reality instead of solving the actual problem. You’ll hear how telling myself the truth helped me make better decisions, ask for support, and stop wasting energy resisting what was already true.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/528

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Have you ever tried to convince yourself you shouldn’t be upset, while still feeling completely resentful underneath? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who feels frustrated that people attend her events less often than she attends theirs. I explore why resentment often comes from treating your assumptions about other people’s expectations as facts, why you can't coach yourself around a circumstance that is actually a thought, and how getting clear on what is really happening is the first step to changing the way you feel.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/527

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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How many times have you decided there is no point in asking for what you want because you probably won’t get it? Maybe you want to ask for a raise, a different role at work, more support from your partner, or a change in your relationship. Your brain has a million reasons why it won’t work, why it’s not the right time, or why wanting it says something bad about you.

In this episode, I explain why that entire framework is backwards and why the point of asking is not just getting the answer you want. I break down why your brain is not a reliable predictor of what is possible, how fear of your own thoughts and emotions can keep you from speaking up, and why the most important outcome of asking is becoming someone who tells the truth about what she wants.

Because when you stop making the ask about whether you get a yes, you stop handing other people control over what you believe you are allowed to want.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/526

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Do you have to choose between staying home with your kids and contributing financially to your family? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener’s question about feeling torn between these two goals. We unpack why your brain may be creating a false conflict and how shifting your thinking can help you see more options for creating the life you actually want.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/525

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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So much of the self-help world teaches us that the solution to our problems is to become a better, more healed, more secure version of ourselves. In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Marisa G. Franco, author of Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment, to challenge that idea and talk about why self-worth starts with acknowledging who you actually are, not trying to erase the parts of yourself you do not like.

Dr. Franco and I talk about why insecurities are not proof that something is wrong with you, how striving to be “securely attached” can become another form of self-rejection, and why acknowledging your full internal experience is the first step toward change. Listen in to learn why healing is not about becoming someone else, but about creating a relationship with yourself where you can acknowledge the full truth of who you are and still know you are worthy.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/524

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Learn more about Dr. Franco's books and work: https://drmarisagfranco.com/

Do you have an inner monologue that is constantly keeping score, reminding you what you accomplished, and trying to prove that you’re doing enough? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who has an inner monologue that tracks everything she accomplishes as a way to prove her worth. You’ll hear why trying to force your brain to be quiet usually backfires, and what to do instead when you catch yourself in these thought loops.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/523

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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What if you do know what you want, but you’ve just gotten really good at talking yourself out of it? In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down why so many women feel disconnected from their own desires and why “I don’t know what I want” is often not the truth. I explain how we learn to prioritize what we should want, what will make other people happy, and what feels safe over what we actually desire.

You’ll learn why you don’t need a perfect reason or justification for wanting something, how to start listening to your own voice again, and why being honest about even small wants is the first step toward creating the life you actually want.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/522

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Some endings are hard because the person is still alive, but the relationship you had with them is gone. This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is grieving a friendship that has faded and struggling to find acceptance. I talk about why grief cannot be bypassed with the “right” thought and how allowing yourself to feel the loss is part of moving through it. You’ll hear why the goal is not to eliminate sadness or anger, but to stop fighting the emotions that are keeping you stuck.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/521

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Have you ever been so angry that you wanted to say something immediately, but you also knew you were probably not in the clearest state of mind? In this episode, I walk you through a real moment from my own life where I was furious, activated, and very tempted to send an angry email. I show you how I coached myself through the emotion, got curious about the thoughts underneath it, and found a way to speak up without either exploding or shutting down. You'll learn how to separate what you can control from what you cannot when you are dealing with other people’s choices, and why speaking up for yourself does not require you to be perfectly calm, perfectly right, or perfectly regulated first.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/520

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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How do you know if you are truly processing an emotion or just stuck thinking about it over and over? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question about the difference between allowing a negative emotion and getting caught in a cycle of recreating it. I explain why the question is not whether you are “indulging” an emotion, but whether you are allowing feelings to move through your body or continuing to fuel them with the same thoughts on repeat.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/519

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What if the thing you’re calling “luck” is actually a combination of preparation, self-belief, and being willing to create your own opportunities?

In this episode, I’m joined by Les Alfred, host of the podcast She’s So Lucky, to talk about the biggest lessons she’s learned from conversations with successful women. We discuss why women often wait for outside validation, how to stop treating every ask like you're begging, and why there is more than one path to creating the life and career you want.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/518

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Do you ever get stuck in the cycle of losing your temper with your kids, then immediately judging yourself as a terrible parent? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is worried that yelling is damaging her children. You'll hear why shame makes it harder to change, how to separate a behavior from your identity, and why seeing this as a skills gap instead of a character flaw gives you the ability to actually grow.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/517

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Do you tend to shut down and emotionally check out when things feel difficult? Or maybe you take over and try to control every outcome. In this episode, I explain why these two reactions are actually two sides of the same coin: attempts to avoid uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Your brain is trying to protect you, but these strategies can keep you from being honest, asking for what you want, and creating the relationships and life you actually want.

This week, I walk you through how to recognize when you’re moving into control mode or checking out, get curious about the thoughts driving those reactions, and start separating the facts of a situation from the story your brain creates about it. The goal is not to judge yourself for these patterns, but to understand what problem your brain is trying to solve so you can choose a different response.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/516

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Do you believe that if you stop criticizing yourself, your work will suffer? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who worries that letting go of perfectionism will make her less motivated, less productive, or less successful. Tune in to hear why I believe the opposite is true, and how changing the way you motivate yourself can actually create more freedom, creativity, and success.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/515

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Your brain is not giving you an objective report of reality. It's constantly filtering, editing, and creating a story based on what it already believes about you and the world. In this episode, I explain how your brain decides what information to pay attention to, why confirmation bias keeps you stuck in old patterns, and how the stories you believe can become self-fulfilling prophecies.

Listen in as I break down why you cannot always trust the evidence your brain presents as proof, especially when you are making decisions about what is possible for you. I also share a simple exercise to help you separate facts from the stories your brain creates, so you can start noticing the evidence you have been ignoring and build a different relationship with your thoughts.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/514

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Are you staying in a relationship because you truly want to stay, or because you are afraid of what you will think about yourself if you leave? This week, I answer a Coaching Hotline question from a listener who is wondering whether she is staying in her marriage because she wants to or because she is scared of how mean she will be to herself if she chooses to leave. I share why you cannot make a clear decision when you are also preparing to punish yourself for one of the options, and why learning to trust yourself is the first step to making choices from confidence instead of fear.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/513

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Most habit advice tells you to be perfectly consistent, show up every day, and never miss a beat. But that pressure is exactly what keeps people from forming habits in the first place. In this episode, I explain why embracing inconsistency is actually the key to building habits that last.

You'll hear why perfectionism makes setbacks feel like failure, how small repeated actions gradually become automatic, and why flexible, forgiving practice aligns with the way your brain actually learns. This Greatest Hits episode gives you a fresh approach to habit change that reduces shame, removes pressure, and helps you make lasting changes without needing to be perfect.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/512

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Do you catch yourself resenting opportunities others get, even when they’re designed to increase fairness or diversity? In this episode, I answer a listener struggling with scarcity thinking at work and explain why it’s the thought, not the circumstance, that creates anxiety and resentment. You'll hear how women are socialized to wait for rewards instead of creating them, and why taking responsibility for your own success lets you see opportunity and achievement as something you generate, not something handed out.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/511

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It’s so easy to get burned out by the nonstop flood of political news, social pressure, work, and everything else we carry. But it doesn't have to be this way. You can choose how you engage, stay informed, and still be fully present in your own life without sacrificing your happiness, and my guest this week is a great example of doing just that.

I'm joined by Zerlina Maxwell, a SiriusXM radio host, author, and political analyst, to talk about reclaiming her time, attention, and happiness while staying engaged with American politics and media. We discuss how gender, race, and social expectations shape the pressure women feel to exhaust themselves and why making intentional choices matters. Tune in to learn how to take ownership of your happiness, set boundaries around your time and attention, and show up in the world on your own terms.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/510

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Follow Zerlina Maxwell on Instagram: instagram.com/zerlinamaxwell/

Do you notice old patterns creeping back in when you start dating someone new, even after making real progress on your thoughts? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who finds herself feeling needy and seeking validation in new relationships. We unpack why this happens, why it’s completely normal, and how understanding what’s going on in your thoughts can help you navigate these familiar patterns without judgment.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/509

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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If you’ve ever answered “fine” when you weren’t really fine, this episode is for you. Saying “fine” may feel safe in the moment, but it trains your brain to ignore your desires, feelings, and needs, leaving you disconnected from yourself, burnt out, and frustrated.

In this episode, I explore why socialization and evolutionary wiring make women suppress anger, disappointment, and discomfort to avoid judgment, and why that tiny word hides so much more than you realize. You'll hear the two steps you can take today to start rewiring this pattern in your brain and rebuild your connection to yourself.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/508

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Does receiving feedback make you spiral into shame, anxiety, or self-doubt? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who struggles to separate her self-worth from professional critique. You'll hear why those intense feelings are actually avoided emotions showing up, how your brain prioritizes short-term discomfort over thoughtful response, and why trying to get through the feelings quickly keeps you stuck.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/507

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If you’ve ever eaten a sandwich when you really wanted dumplings, turned down help you needed, or stayed silent in a meeting because it felt safer to bite your tongue, listen in. Your brain focuses on the short-term pain of asking for what you want and the anxiety or shame that follows, but avoiding those feelings comes at a much bigger cost.

In this episode, I slow everything down and examine how a single choice, from the tiniest to the biggest, can ripple across your day, your relationships, and even your career. You'll learn why socialization and internalized beliefs train women to suppress wants and prioritize others, and how speaking up even when it feels awkward is the key to preserving your energy, your agency, and your connection to what matters.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/506

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Why do we wear makeup, and does it even matter? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about makeup and body image. I explain why wearing makeup is a personal choice and often a form of self-expression, not a reflection of whether you have done the inner work to love your body.

I also tackle a question about humility and how it can be useful in managing your mind. This episode shows how examining the thoughts behind your choices, about humility, appearance, and social expectations can shift your perspective and reduce unnecessary self-judgment.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/505

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Joy doesn’t always arrive when you expect it, and sometimes it shows up when life feels the hardest. In this episode, I talk about making space for joy with Kate Bowler, a professor at Duke University, 5x bestselling author, and host of the podcast Everything Happens. We discuss why happiness is overhyped, how microjoys and unexpected moments can interrupt your day, and why cultural narratives often make women feel like they are failing if life isn’t constantly “good.”

This conversation is a reminder that joy is not something you can control or manufacture. It shows up when you are paying attention, when you let your guard down, and when you allow yourself to be human. Listening will help you notice the small delights, accept life’s unpredictability, and welcome joy into your day, even when everything else feels messy or uncertain.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/504

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Learn more about Kate's work, books, podcast, and more here: https://katebowler.com/

Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to a sibling and feeling stuck in resentment and rivalry? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I break down why most of that tension is coming from your own thoughts and judgments, and how noticing those patterns can change the way you relate to your family.

I also answer a listener question about parenting a child with a chronic illness. Many parents feel anxious because they believe it is their job to control their child’s health. I break down why the anxiety comes not from the medical reality but from the thoughts you're having. This episode is all about seeing where your reactions really come from, reducing unnecessary stress, and interacting with your family and loved ones with more clarity and ease.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/503

Watch episodes over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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When is the last time you actually asked for what you wanted when you were nervous? Not hinted, not hoped someone would notice, not talked yourself out of it. In this episode, I explore why women often suppress desires, needs, and wants in daily life, from small asks like an hour to yourself to bigger moments like negotiating at work or in relationships.

You'll hear why thoughts like "I shouldn’t need this" or "it won’t matter" stop you from asking, even when it’s possible to get what you want. I also explain how to start noticing and understanding these patterns in your own life so you can begin to act differently. This episode helps you reconnect with your wants, build confidence in asking for them, and create a life that reflects your real needs and preferences.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/502

Watch this episode over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

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Many people assume coaching is only for those who want to run a full-time coaching business, but coaching skills can actually be applied in almost any role. In this bonus episode, I explore three ways you can integrate coaching into other jobs. Whether you’re a manager, team leader, HR professional, or working for another coach, understanding the mental models that drive behavior can transform how you lead, influence, and support others.

Even if you never plan to coach professionally, this episode highlights the ways coaching changes how you show up in your own life. By learning to notice the thoughts behind behavior, take responsibility for your own reactions, and approach others with curiosity, you can improve communication, manage reactivity, and build better relationships at work and at home.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/bonus-coaching-other-jobs

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Social media can be a surprisingly powerful tool when it comes to changing how you think about your body. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about using intentional visual exposure on social media to improve body image. I explain why deliberately engaging with images that reflect diverse and relatable bodies can help retrain your brain’s perceptions, and why it is important to practice these thoughts in a variety of situations, not just while scrolling social media .

Then, I tackle what happens when a partner shuts down during an argument. You'll hear why labeling your partner as sulking or ignoring amplifies your reaction, and why taking responsibility for your feelings is the key to staying grounded and connected. This episode shows how to separate thoughts from circumstances so you can feel less desperate, more in control, and more present in your relationships and your own mind.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/501

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you been wondering whether coaching could be a career path for you, or something you bring into the work you're already doing?

If you can't stop thinking about that, this episode is for you. What it means to be a coach today is far more varied and interesting than most people assume, and most of you are better suited for it than you realize. I explain who is well-suited for coaching, what it actually entails, and how it can fit into different professional and personal contexts.

I also address the misconceptions that tend to stop people before they start, including MLMs, pyramid schemes, and the idea that you can only make money by coaching other coaches. Coaching is a real job, it can be full-time, part-time, or integrated into your current career, and a solid certification makes all the difference in building something sustainable.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/bonus-coaching-career

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Learn more about Coach Curious Prep School here: unfuckyourbrain.com/curious

Women often hold themselves back in ways they don’t even notice. This week, I explore the two biggest ways this happens: not asking for what you want and not telling the truth about how you feel. I break down how socialization and internalized beliefs train women to downplay their desires, soften their emotions, and edit themselves in real time, leaving them disconnected from what they actually want and who they really are.

You’ll hear why these two patterns show up across careers, relationships, and daily life, and how they subtly shape the decisions you make and the opportunities you take. I explain why wanting and feeling is not the problem, and why the real work is learning to notice the thoughts that keep you from expressing yourself fully.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/500

Watch this episode over on YouTube: youtube.com/@karaloewentheilcoaching

Learn more about Coach Curious Prep School here: unfuckyourbrain.com/curious

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil

Divorce can be overwhelming, especially when you are trying to figure out how to explain it to your children. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about the first stage of divorce, talking about it with her kids, and why starting with your thoughts and feelings, not just actions, is what makes the next steps clear.

I also tackle a question about people-pleasing and seeking external validation. You'll hear why prioritizing other people’s needs over your own can feel like love and connection, but it actually undermines your authenticity, and how to cultivate genuine connection instead.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/499

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Think about something you really wanted, something you worked for or waited for, or told yourself would finally change how you felt about your life. Maybe it was a job, a relationship, a business milestone, or a body you thought would make you feel confident.

And then you got it, and the feeling did not last.

That is the human void, and in this episode I explain what it is, why it shows up even after achievement, and how to relate to it without letting it control you. You'll learn why this restlessness is part of being human, the difference between being philosophically happy with your life and feeling happy in the moment, and why understanding this helps you stop auditing your life against impossible standards.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/498

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Managing your mind during PMS can feel impossible, even when you know thought work and self-coaching strategies. In this episode, I answer a listener question about how hormonal changes or cyclical patterns affect emotional resilience. I also tackle a question about disappointment and whether feeling let down is a cop-out.

As you’ll hear, managing your thoughts and feelings intentionally can change how you respond to difficult moments, from PMS to social or personal setbacks. This episode shows you how to separate physical or situational challenges from the stories your mind tells you about them, helping you stay grounded and in control of how you experience your life.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/497

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There is one thought that quietly sabotages almost every goal you care about, and you probably don’t even realize it’s a thought because it sounds like a fact.

In this episode, I break down the three words that stop us from following through on what we want and explain why believing this thought can make it feel impossible to achieve the results you are working toward. Plus, I share a three-step practice you can use to rewire this pattern. Listen in, because changing this thought can be the difference between quitting too soon and finally seeing the results of the work you have been doing all along.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/496

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Do you ever find yourself planning for the future and imagining how perfect it's going to be? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about fantasies and expectations. I explore why romanticizing the future can take you out of the present and why trying to control your thoughts about someone else only makes you feel more out of control.

I break down how our brains trick us into conflating circumstances and thoughts, showing why happiness and fulfillment are created by the thoughts you are having now, not by money, experiences, or other people. You’ll hear why striving to reject negative emotions or desires only gives them power, and why chasing validation from others is ultimately about how you relate to yourself.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/495

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

How many times have you been doing the work, trying to change, and then completely lost it? You yelled at your kids, said yes when you meant no, or spent money you promised yourself you wouldn't, and thought, "I am failing. This is not working. I should just give up." We’ve all done this, which means we’ve all quit on change when we were already in the process, but just couldn’t see it.

In this episode, I break down the six stages of behavior change so you can see that you are already in the process of change, even when it doesn't feel like it. You'll hear why shame keeps you stuck, why self-compassion is the bridge to noticing your behavior, and how observing yourself without judgment allows real change to begin. Plus, I share specific prompts and practical ways to work with yourself at each stage so you can finally create the change you want.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/494

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If you want to go deeper on what it's like to be a coach or how to bring coaching into your current work, check out my new podcast, The Future Coach!You can find it anywhere you get your podcasts.

Making friends as an adult can feel intimidating, especially when it seems like your upbringing didn't give you the skills to navigate social connections. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about friendships and social interactions. I explore why it is possible to build friendships while continuing your self-work, and why the story you tell yourself about your friendship skills can keep you stuck.

I also tackle the tricky line between honesty and people pleasing. I break down why volunteering opinions that nobody asked for is not automatically people pleasing and why the key is understanding your own motivations behind sharing advice or judgments. This episode will help you distinguish between speaking your truth for yourself and managing your behavior out of concern for others’ approval.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/493

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This week, I break down the three foundational principles that will allow you to coach yourself effectively, no matter where you are on your thought work journey. If you’re new to the podcast, this is an essential episode to ground you in the basics of cognitive change. If you’ve been here a while, I guarantee you’ll hear these keys in a new light, ready to take them deeper.

Listen in to discover why thoughts create feelings, which drive behavior, and why trying to change your actions to feel better is a recipe for failure. Plus, I explain why self-compassion (or at least self-neutrality) is crucial if you want to truly change your behavior or achieve your goals.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/492

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How many times have you promised yourself that this time you were finally going to stop procrastinating? Maybe you bought another planner to color-code, or scoured the internet for the best productivity tips. You want to solve this problem, but what if procrastination isn't the problem you think it is?

In this episode, I show you why procrastination is not a character flaw, a willpower problem, or proof that you are secretly broken. It is an emotional avoidance strategy, and once you understand that, you can finally stop trying to solve it at the wrong level. I walk you through the three steps to actually changing this pattern, plus share some specific ways to think about procrastination if you have ADHD or suspect you might.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/490

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Social media will happily turn your nervous system into a tiny squirrel hunting for dopamine, my friends. This week, I coach a listener who keeps checking likes and engagement on posts for her business. Instead of treating likes, commissions, creative desire, and income as one tangled emotional knot, I show you how to separate the questions so your brain can stop making Instagram engagement mean everything about your art, your business, or your worth.

Then, I answer a deeper question about emotional vulnerability and thought work, especially in relation to Brené Brown’s work. This episode will show you how to untangle social media validation, business confusion, self judgment, and authenticity so you can see what is actually happening in your brain.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/489

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

So many women think there’s something wrong with their sex drive, when the real issue is how they’ve been taught to relate to their body. In this episode, I sit down with sex coach Laura Jurgens to explore why low libido is not just a mindset problem or a medical issue, and how repeated experiences, socialization, and nervous system patterns shape your relationship with intimacy.

If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your desire or unsure how to create a more fulfilling sex life, this episode will help you see what’s actually getting in the way. You’ll learn how to reconnect with your own preferences, communicate what you want, and build a sense of safety and agency in your body so intimacy can feel more natural and enjoyable.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/488

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil

Learn more about Laura's work here: laurajurgens.com

Grab Laura's free guide, Get Out of Your Head, here: laurajurgens.myflodesk.com/h1zqbvc842

Do you struggle to feel at peace with your body when you gain weight? Or worry that gaining weight will result in health issues? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I invite you to challenge the beliefs that weight is synonymous with health and that health is synonymous with morality (spoiler alert, it's not).

Then, I tackle a listener question about unclear work expectations and how that impacts their perceived success in the role. I show you how to step into clarity and confidence so you can take action on what matters most and stop feeling frustrated by things that are out of your control.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/487

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you ever gotten so close to a goal, and then one thing to goes wrong, and your brain immediately decide the whole thing was a mistake? That moment right before the finish line is where so many people quit. In this episode, I introduce a concept I call The Last 5% and showing you why your brain is most likely to turn progress into proof that you’re not capable right when you’re closest to getting the result you want.

If you’ve ever stopped just short of what you wanted or told yourself all your effort didn’t count because you didn’t get the final result, this will change how you approach your goals. You’ll learn how to stop making setbacks mean something about you, figure out what’s actually left to solve, and keep moving forward from experience instead of starting over.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/486

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Does your brain go straight to worst-case scenarios when you think about someone you love, and make you feel like it’s your job to prevent them all? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I coach someone through intense anxiety about their child’s future and explain why believing you are responsible for everything that could happen is what’s actually creating the panic.

Then I answer a question about staying motivated during a job search, and why trying to force motivation when you don’t know what you want is never going to work. If you struggle with anxiety about others or feel unmotivated when pursuing your goals, this episode will show you how to question the beliefs creating pressure and fear, and how to move forward from a place of clarity instead of self-judgment.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/485

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Do you ever tell yourself, “What I’m doing isn’t enough, so I might as well not bother”? That thought is exactly what’s keeping you stuck. In this episode, I’m teaching one of my favorite concepts for getting out of overwhelm and into action:The Infinite 1%. You'll see why doing a little is actually everything.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed by how far you have to go or waiting until you can do something perfectly, this is going to change how you think about progress. You’ll learn why your brain dismisses small actions, how that keeps you in inertia, and what it looks like to build real momentum by actually doing something instead of nothing.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/484

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Why is it so hard to let go of something that happened years ago, even when you know it shouldn’t matter anymore? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I coach someone through what it really takes to release an old grudge without pretending it didn’t hurt.

Then I answer a question about attractiveness and the belief that you can control whether other people are attracted to you based on how you present yourself. If you’ve been holding onto resentment or trying to control how others see you, this episode will help you understand why those patterns aren’t working and learn how to shift out of them.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/483

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you keep telling yourself you’ll finally get it together tomorrow, once you feel more ready, more clear, or more “on top of things”?

In this episode, I revisit two of the most powerful patterns that keep you stuck: perfectionist fantasies and tomorrow thinking. I break down how your brain convinces you that the reason you’re not taking action today is because conditions aren’t ideal yet, and how it sells you the idea that tomorrow will be different. This episode will show you how to stop waiting for a perfect future version of yourself and start taking action as the imperfect human you already are.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/482

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Are your thoughts during sex preventing you from reaching orgasm? This is a super common struggle for people socialized as women. We worry about taking too long or our partner getting bored or tired, and those thoughts are exactly what get in the way. In this week’s Coaching Hotline episode, I show you why trying to rush or fix the experience makes it harder, and how to start shifting the thoughts that are creating the pressure in the first place.

Then I coach someone who feels like there simply isn’t enough time to be a good lawyer, a present parent, and take care of herself. If you’ve ever felt rushed, behind, or like you’re failing to keep up, this episode will help you see how your thoughts about time and productivity are actually creating that pressure. You’ll learn how to question those beliefs and change your experience without needing more time or different circumstances.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/481

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Have you built your entire life around waiting for motivation to text you back? In this episode, I explain why motivation is a fuckboy and why relying on it is the reason you start and stop, stall out, or never follow through on the things that matter most to you. Motivation feels amazing when it shows up, but it disappears the moment things get hard or uncomfortable, and when you treat it like a prerequisite, you give something unreliable total control over your progress.

If you’ve been waiting to feel ready, excited, or inspired before you take action, this episode will help you understand why that strategy isn’t working. You’ll learn how to stop organizing your life around motivation and start following through from a place that is far more reliable, so you can actually create results whether motivation shows up or not.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/480

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Do you worry that saying no makes you rude, selfish, or a bad person? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I break down why what you’ve been taught to call “politeness” is often just people pleasing in disguise, and how that conditioning keeps you stuck in self doubt.

Then I answer a question I hear all the time in different forms, what do you do when you understand thought work but you still can’t change your thoughts? I explain why you are not missing a tool, why nothing has gone wrong, and why this frustrating in between stage is actually a normal and necessary part of the process.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/479

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Have you ever felt stuck in your career or questioned whether you're on the right path? In this episode, I’m joined by my mastermind student Lisa who made the bold decision to transition from being a global CEO to pursuing her passion for running a dahlia farm. Her journey is a testament to the power of reinvention, and we dive into how she navigated that shift.

Lisa shares how she was able to tackle the fears and self-doubt that came with stepping away from the corporate world and how she’s now embracing a different version of success. We talk about the importance of setting big goals, overcoming fear, and the emotional challenges of letting go of a well-established career to follow your passion.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/478

To learn more about applying for Mission Impossible Mastermind, send an email to info@redesignyourmind.com

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil

Follow Lisa on Instagram: instagram.com/kayabloomstudio

Do you ever feel completely exhausted but can’t quite figure out if it’s because your body is physically tired or if it’s the thoughts in your head making everything worse? In this week's Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into the complex relationship between physical fatigue and mental thoughts, and how you can shift your thinking no matter how tired you are.

Then, I dive into a question that comes up often in coaching: Should you focus on the immediate thoughts that are triggering your feelings or dig into the deeper, root cause of your beliefs? Tune in to hear my answer.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/477

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Have you ever been caring for someone you love and suddenly felt resentful, exhausted, or completely overwhelmed? And then immediately thought, “What kind of person feels this way?” In this episode, I talk about the emotional reality of caregiving, especially for those of us in the Sandwich Generation who are supporting aging parents while also raising kids, managing careers, and trying to hold our own lives together.

You'll hear why caregiving guilt is so common and how socialization trains women to believe they should give endlessly without limits. I explore why the real problem isn’t the anger or resentment that can show up in caregiving, but the shame we pile on top of those emotions, and how shifting from either or thinking to both and can help you care for others without abandoning yourself in the process.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/476

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Does receiving feedback make you feel instantly defensive, embarrassed, or like you’ve done somethingterriblywrong?

In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about how to handle criticism at work and how to know when you’ve coached yourself “correctly.” You’ll learn how to manage your mind around feedback, understand why feeling defensive is optional, and recognize that sometimes the answers you already have are the ones you need to keep practicing.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/475

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

What if one of the most important financial decisions you ever make isn’t about investing, saving, or budgeting... but about who you choose as your partner?

In this episode, I’m joined by Vivian Tu, also known as Your Rich BFF, 2x New York Times bestselling author, and host of the podcast Networth and Chill. We discuss why money is not just about survival but about power, choice, and freedom. Vivian explains why women are often socialized to over compromise financially in relationships, how to adjust your mindset about money as a shared partnership decision, and why financial literacy is essential for protecting your future.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/474

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Learn more about Vivian Tu and her work here: yourrichbff.com and on Instagram instagram.com/your.richbff

Does your brain love to tell you you're ugly, incapable, or untalented? What if it'sright?In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener’s question about those persistent negative thoughts that tell us we’re not good enough. You’ll discover why it doesn't actually matter if they are objectively true or not, and why intentionally deciding how you think about yourself does.

I also answer a question about the concept of vibrations and energy, where a listener is struggling to understand how thought work connects with things like chemistry, energy healing, and even Reiki. Tune in to learn how to approach these concepts with clarity, and why your beliefs about them are just as powerful as any physical sensation.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/473

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If you feel like the world is on fire and the only appropriate response is constant outrage, this conversation will stretch you in the best way. I talk with psychotherapist and author Margaret Cullen about equanimity, what it actually means, and why it is not the same thing as apathy or disengagement. We unpack the idea that you can care deeply, take action, and still refuse to live in a state of emotional melodrama.

Margaret explains how equanimity helps you recover balance more quickly when you get hijacked by fear, anger, or despair. We connect this to nervous system regulation, the 24 hour news cycle, and the cultural pressure to prove you care by being constantly devastated. You'll walk away with concrete ways to engage in your personal and political life without burning yourself out or becoming what you are fighting against.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/472

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Learn more about Margaret Cullen's work at margaretcullen.com

Have you ever tried to teach thought work to someone you love, only to have them completely reject it? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a question from a mom who wants her teenage son to benefit from thought work but keeps running into pushback. I explain why 15 is not too young to understand emotional processing, but it is old enough to resist being coached without permission.

I also answer a question from a listener who is struggling with a long standing fear of heights that shows up intensely on tall bridges and airplanes. If you have ever felt frustrated that you logically know something is safe but still experience panic, this will resonate. You will learn how to stop escalating anxiety by resisting it, how to work with your thoughts about panic, and how acceptance becomes the foundation for real change.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/471

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Do you make decisions based on what you actually want, or based on what would make you feel the least guilty? In this Greatest Hits episode, I break down how guilt and shame quietly become the emotional compass guiding our everyday choices, from small obligations to major life decisions, and why that often leaves us exhausted, resentful, or stuck.

I share how women in particular are socialized to treat guilt and shame like flashing moral warning signs, assuming that if we feel bad about not doing something, it must mean we should do it. I walk you through how to recalibrate your emotional compass so you can stop making decisions just to avoid feeling like a bad person.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/470

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do social events drain you? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener's question about feeling exhausted at social events and why small talk often feels boring. I explore how your thoughts are creating that experience and why the key to enjoying social gatherings starts with shifting your mindset.

I also tackle a question about feeling like you have no desire for sex, and how to work through the thoughts causing fear and anxiety around intimacy. Tune in to discover how thought work can transform your experience at social events and in your intimate relationships, helping you reclaim energy, connection, and confidence.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/469

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you find yourself avoiding negative emotions at all costs, distracting yourself with food, Netflix, or your phone? What if you could build the capacity to feel any emotion, no matter how uncomfortable, and still keep moving forward? In this episode, I’m diving into the concept of microdosing negative emotions and why this practice is the key to becoming unstoppable.

Instead of pushing away the discomfort, we need to practice building safety around it, which is exactly what microdosing does. I’m walking you through how the microdosing approach helps you tolerate your emotions in manageable doses, so you can stop avoiding them and actually feel them as they pass.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/468

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you feel like you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, but aren’t sure if it’s really the relationship or just your thoughts? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I dive into a listener’s question about how to tell if your relationship is toxic and how much of the issue comes down to your own thinking.

I also tackle a question on health anxiety, where the listener is worried that their weight isn’t going down despite making healthy changes, and fears they’re damaging their health. Discover how thought work can help you take control of your emotional experience, whether in relationships or health, without falling into the trap of self-judgment and fear.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/467

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

How many times have you turned to Netflix, shopping, or a glass of wine to avoid feeling something uncomfortable? This is a pattern so many of us get stuck in. In this episode, I’m joined by my best friend, Master Certified Life Coach Rachel Hart, to explore why we do this and what actually helps us change it.

This episode is the perfect starting point for understanding why we numb our emotions in the first place, and why learning to feel them instead of avoiding them is the key to creating lasting change in your life.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/466

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Learn more about Rachel Hart's work at rachelhart.com/

Do you ever look at your life on paper and think, I should feel proud of this, while inside you feel trapped, empty, or quietly panicked? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a question from a listener who hates her career choice and feels crushed by debt, regret, and the belief that she ruined her life by making the “wrong” decision.

In the second question, I address what it means to feel numb or disconnected inside and why that emptiness can make thought work feel pointless or hopeless. This episode will help you see how your thoughts, not your past decisions or your emotional state, are creating the suffering, and how learning to question what you’re making your circumstances and feelings mean is the key to reclaiming agency, clarity, and self-trust.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/465

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

There’s a word many of us use to feel validated or justified that actually keeps us stuck in self-doubt. Whether it sounds like “I deserve this” or “maybe I don’t deserve that,” this way of thinking quietly turns your life into a moral evaluation instead of a place where you get to make choices.

In this episode, I explain why the idea of “deserving” is a mental trap and how it reinforces shame, second-guessing, and the belief that you need permission to want, enjoy, or change something. I share a different framework for relating to desire, hardship, and agency so you can stop debating your worth and start deciding what you want to experience instead.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/464

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

When you’ve spent most of your adult life believing your body has to look a certain way to be desirable, it can feel impossible to think anything different. In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener who feels stuck believing her body must change for men to be attracted to her, even after years of thought work.

I also respond to a question about struggling to identify emotions beyond anxiety and feeling empty or disconnected. I explain why strong emotions are often the easiest to access at first, what it actually means to describe a feeling physically, and how learning to stay with sensations without judgment builds emotional awareness over time.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/463

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you ever fall off a goal, get back on, and then fall off again in the exact same way? In this episode, I explain why setbacks aren’t the problem and why the way you respond to them determines whether you actually make progress or quietly give up.

You'll hear why simply vowing to “do better next time” doesn’t work, how shame blocks analysis, and how the combination of self-compassion and strategy is what actually creates lasting change. If you want to stop repeating the same setbacks and start building momentum, this episode shows you how.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/462

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you ever feel like if you could just find the right outfit, you’d finally feel confident? Or like the only way to calm your anxiety in dating is to get reassurance from the person you’re seeing?

In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that show how easy it is to look outside yourself for emotional safety. You’ll learn how to stop outsourcing your confidence to clothes or other people and start creating emotional security from the inside out.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/461

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

When the world feels financially chaotic, it’s easy to slip into survival mode and feel like money is the only thing standing between you and safety. To explore why this happens and how to create a steadier sense of financial safety, I’m joined by New York Times bestselling author, Tori Dunlap.

Together, we talk about the systemic barriers women face, the guilt around wanting more, and why avoiding your numbers only increases stress. You’ll hear why financial education is one of the most powerful tools women have right now, and what changes when you start seeing yourself as a capable, autonomous financial agent.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/458

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Follow Tori on Instagram: instagram.com/torikdunlap/

Her First 100K: herfirst100k.com

Ever wonder if you are pushing toward a bold goal or just fighting reality and wearing yourself out? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener question about how to tell the difference between challenging limits and ignoring real constraints like your energy, time, and capacity.

I also answer a question about jealousy in polyamory and what to do when you feel physically activated watching your partner show affection to someone else. I break down why the sensation in your body is created by your thoughts, not the situation itself, and why this is work you want to do before you are in the moment.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/459

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you feel like you are always falling short of some invisible standard, no matter how hard you try? That sense of inadequacy can creep into your work, your relationships, and how you relate to your body, and it can quietly run your life if you never stop to question it.

In this episode, I explore why insecurity is not a personality flaw or something you need to fix, but a signal that you do not feel emotionally safe with yourself. I break down how socialization trains us to measure our worth against external rules and expectations that were never designed to serve us, and why that keeps us feeling perpetually not good enough. Hit play to learn how to stop outsourcing your sense of safety and value, and how to build emotional security from the inside.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/458

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Does doing thought work make you calmer or does it turn you into someone who feels less emotional and more rigid?

In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about whether becoming more logical means losing access to their emotions. You'll also hear my answer to a question from a listener who feels constantly angry during long school drop-off drives and blames other drivers. I'll show you how owning your choices and managing your mind can radically change how you feel without changing a single circumstance.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/457

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Ever notice how when someone asks you for something, you immediately feel like you should say yes? Whether it's a colleague wanting to pick your brain over coffee or your kid's school asking you to bake for the school fundraiser, there's this instant weight that settles on your shoulders. In this episode, I'm naming something that hasn't been talked about before but affects almost everyone socialized as a woman: Instant Obligation Syndrome.

I'll explain why this happens, how it's rooted in the socialization that teaches women their purpose is to serve others, and why you feel like you need a "good reason" to say no. Most importantly, I'll show you why this pattern is costing you far more than you realize.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/456

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Why is it so easy to doubt ourselves, even when we’ve already proven we’re capable? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer a listener's question about feeling unqualified despite a successful career. She’s struggling with thoughts that her associate's degree makes her less than others in her field, even though her work experience speaks for itself.

The second question is about how to manage the flood of self-doubt that comes up when pursuing big goals. A coach is working on expanding her business, but finds herself stuck in a cycle of procrastination and negative thoughts. If you’ve ever felt like your thoughts were holding you back, this episode will help you move through them and take consistent action toward your goals.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/455

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

When you imagine yourself in the future, what do you see? Are you meditating at 5 a.m. before diving into the picture-perfect morning routine? Are you living by the beach with a business that makes money while you sleep? Are you making holiday cookies with your kids without ever spilling flour all over the floor?

In this episode, I'm breaking down a crucial distinction that most self-help exercises about connecting to your future self completely miss: the difference between your future self and your fantasy self. You'll learn specific ways to check whether you're connecting to a helpful future self who has actual advice about your growth, or if you're indulging in a fantasy that keeps you stuck.

Learn more about A Confident Life here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/aconfidentlife/

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/448

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Ever feel like you’re "too much" for others? Like when someone tells you you're too sensitive, too needy, or taking things too seriously?

In this episode, I explore why the fear of being "too much" is so common among women and how it limits us from living fully. You'll discover why this vague but powerful fear gets weaponized against women and marginalized communities, and how to start rewiring your brain around it.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/454

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Do you ever find yourself paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake at work, no matter how small? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I’m answering two listener questions that dive into how we handle fear, stress, and the pressure to be perfect.

The first question is from someone working in a high-stakes field, terrified of making mistakes and facing professional consequences. The second question is about dealing with stress-induced habits like overeating or drinking, and the guilt that follows. I show you why you can’t solve the problem by just focusing on behavior... it’s your thoughts and emotions that need attention.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/453

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Why is it so hard to make a decision? So many of us get stuck in a cycle of overthinking, second-guessing, or waiting for external validation before we can make a choice. So in this episode, I’m sharing why women often struggle with decisiveness and how our socialization shapes the way we approach decision-making and risk. You’ll learn why embracing decisiveness is crucial for creating the life you want and get practical tips for using self-coaching to make confident, purposeful decisions that align with your goals.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/452

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

In this Coaching Hotline episode, I’m answering two listener questions that are all too familiar if you’ve ever gotten sucked into social media comparison or felt like you’re constantly navigating emotional landmines with family. The first is about how to stop feeling awful about yourself every time you scroll through Instagram, comparing yourself to others or feeling like you’re not doing enough.

The second question is about dealing with a family member who’s set boundaries that leave you feeling rejected. This episode will teach you how to separate your feelings from someone else’s behavior, take full responsibility for your emotional life, and stop outsourcing your worth to others.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/451

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Have you ever felt pressured to cut someone out of your life because of their problematic views or actions -- even when it's family? In today's polarized culture, it's easy to fall into black-and-white thinking and believe that we must completely reject anyone who doesn't align with our beliefs. But what happens when the problematic person is someone we love, like a family member or close friend?

In this bonus episode, I sit down with author and speaker Brit Barron to explore the complexities of navigating relationships with problematic loved ones. Brit's new book Do You Still Talk to Grandma? When the Problematic People in Our Lives Are the Ones We Love challenges the notion that we must cancel or annihilate those who hold different views from us. You're going to want to listen in on this one, as Brit offers insights on practicing empathy and humility, finding a middle ground between accountability and punishment, and more.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/bonus-brit-barron

Most of us think self-trust means knowing we'll always make the right decision and that our future self will behave perfectly. But in this episode, you'll hear why this impossible standard actually sets you up to never trust yourself - and how that erodes both your confidence and your ability to create what you want in life. I share examples from my own life and give you practical steps to start creating the kind of self-trust that allows you to handle whatever comes up - not because you'll do everything right, but because you know you can deal with whatever happens.

Learn more about A Confident Life here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/aconfidentlife/

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/450

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

When you’re replaying a breakup, imagining a different version of yourself your partner might have loved more, or worrying that someone is “settling,” the problem isn’t the relationship, it’s the way your brain is using other people’s opinions to try to regulate your self-worth.

In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions about rejection and attraction that illustrate how quickly your mind will outsource your value to someone else’s thoughts. I break down why your brain becomes so invested in mental rehearsals, fantasies, and what-ifs, and how those patterns keep you from seeing your actual emotional life clearly.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/449

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Playing with your preschooler should be fun, right? In this Coaching Hotline episode, I answer two listener questions that dig into common parenting frustrations. The first tackles how to show up authentically when your preschooler's bossiness during play triggers irritation. The second explores managing all those thoughts about how children "should" behave. You'll learn practical ways to reframe your irritation, understand what being "authentic" really means in parenting, and get curious about those inherited beliefs about how kids should act.

Submit your own question here and it might get answered on a future episode: unfuckyourbrain.com/coachinghotline

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/447

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

If you have big goals for 2026 but no idea what thoughts your brain actually needs to think to create them, this episode will give you a much clearer map. I’m breaking down the kinds of thought patterns that keep you stuck in body insecurity, imposter syndrome, dating frustration, family tension, or money anxiety and how to use the four Confidence Compass skills to shift those patterns for good.

No matter what your goals are, you will hear at least one thought you can borrow and apply immediately to the area of your life you want to evolve next.

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/446

Follow along on Instagram: instagram.com/karaloewentheil/

Join me to for Create More Confidence: A Pop-Up Coaching Program on December 8-10, 2025 here: schoolofnewfeministthought.com/confident