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Policies of Exclusion, Poverty & Health

Policies of Exclusion, Poverty & Health

Chrystal Ocean

Audio of the 2005 book. Compiled, Introduction and Reports by Chrystal Ocean.

24 - Episode 22 - Waneta
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  • 24 - Episode 22 - Waneta

    Episode 22 of 24. A reading from the book Policies of Exclusion, Poverty & Health: Stories from the front. Compiled, with Introduction and Reports by Chrystal Ocean. Copyright 2005. This is the last of the 21 stories. At the beginning of the project, each of the women chose a random number to represent them. This was both to protect their identities and to make the stories themselves the central focus. When it came time to put the book together, I didn't want to refer to the women by their numbers. That would have been awkward and certainly impersonal. So I ordered the stories by the women's numbers, from lowest to highest, and then assigned a pseudonym to each, from 'a' through 'w'. In other words, while the alphabetical arrangement would suggest otherwise, the stories in the book were randomly sorted. This was to ensure no bias crept in, in terms of story placement. How fitting, then, that the random sortation would result in a native woman, Waneta, getting the last word. When I was 5 years old, [my mother] committed suicide in a motel room. My younger brother and I were present and were the ones who actually found her. We remember that night like it was yesterday. We found her in the bathroom. There were no adults around. We remember playing with her rope.... I was about 13 when my biological sister reunited with me. She visited us off and on for about a year. She took her life when she was 18. She also hung herself in Victoria.... One of the uncles that lived in the home started sexually abusing me. I didn’t know that it was wrong. We would go fishing and then he would get on top of me and stuff. He’d make me lay there. I didn’t know. All of us slept in the same room as my grandfather and his partner. Seeing him on her, I thought it was something that you did. My uncle was doing that to me at the creek, when I was nine, and I thought it was what you had to do. I’ve never told any of the family members. He told me not to tell anybody, of course. I had all these secrets. All these adults in my life were telling me, ‘Don’t tell, Don’t tell’.

    Sat, 15 Nov 2008 - 17min
  • 23 - Episode 21 - Vanessa

    Episode 21 of 24. A reading from the book Policies of Exclusion, Poverty & Health: Stories from the front. Compiled, with Introduction and Reports by Chrystal Ocean. Copyright 2005. Vanessa's background is one of wealth, with an emphasis on conservatism, religion and traditional "family values" and roles. Likely not surprising, Vanessa's independent spirit and high intelligence almost immediately placed her at loggerheads with her family's expectations and the norms of much of society still. When I thought about my future, one thing was clear: I didn't want to grow up and serve some man. I didn't want to get married... There was no freakin' way in hell I was staying home 'til 5 o'clock and making sure someone's dinner was warm. I didn't want to be a servant. I worried and fretted about this. I did not want to be a wife; that's what it boiled down to. I could accept the notion of fatherhood, but not husband... Then, when I did grow up, that's what I became. For years. That's the biggest thing that bothers me about society: It beats your spirit out of you.

    Sun, 02 Nov 2008 - 16min
  • 22 - Episode 20 - Tatum

    Episode 20 of 24. A reading from the book Policies of Exclusion, Poverty & Health: Stories from the front. Compiled, with Introduction and Reports by Chrystal Ocean. Copyright 2005. One of several native women who participated in the project, Tatum has proven herself to be a fierce fighter against injustice: of that done to her as a child, woman and Indian, and to others in similar circumstances. As with two other of the storytellers, Tatum took her abuser to court. Also like them, she paid harshly for doing the right thing. Beyond what has become the dishearteningly common tale of childhood sexual abuse, there are the abuses against native culture and identity. I lived in Vancouver when I was 19, 20, 21.... My whole life, I think that’s what’s a live and so burning anger. We lost our language and every other culture is out there yakking their language – on public buses and on public streets. Oooh, that used to burn me in Vancouver when I was young! I used to be so angry when I heard another nationality’s voice in their own language. I think I still am. Then I have to be a Canadian citizen and you’re telling me I have to know French?!?! Discrimination also remains alive and thriving in our community. [As someone who doesn't look like the stereotypical Indian,] I never felt discrimination until I had this ex in my life.... Renting in Victoria ... there was so much discrimination. They would give the place to me when he was working... Then I’d bring my Indian husband. BAM! We don’t have a place anymore. Two hours ago I had it! No problem, no question. Then they see this Indian... He was in work clothes and everything!

    Wed, 22 Oct 2008 - 17min
  • 21 - Episode 19 - Sheree

    Episode 19 of 24. (Sheree) A reading from the book Policies of Exclusion, Poverty & Health: Stories from the front. Compiled, with Introduction and Reports by Chrystal Ocean. Copyright 2005. I’ve always hated the way I looked. I was fair-skinned; I had light hair. I wasn’t Status. I was considered Caucasian by the Native community and by the government, but the white people would look at me: “You’re Native.” I was hated and ridiculed by my family and my peers: I was nothing; I was nobody; I would never amount to anything, no matter how I tried, where I tried or who I tried with; I was adopted; I was found in the ditch; I was found in the garbage. That was what they told me. I was beat up physically everyday. By the time I turned 5, I was made into a sexual object. I read that over to myself after copying and pasting it, and don't know what else to add. It sickens me what Sheree and so many of these women have gone through. All these stories were heart-wrenching to collect, assemble and hold secret until I released the first project report. Now to read them again, out loud, for these podcasts - well, that has proven difficult. In that respect, Sheree's story is no exception. It's like I'm in her skin. Nor is Sheree an exception in protecting and nurturing an incredible inner strength to overcome what so many others wouldn't: I’m hiding right now in this little place. I’m trying to gather my energy to go out in the world and say: “OK, here I am again! Let’s try it again. One more time. Let’s get it right people!” I think I’m so stupid sometimes, seriously, because I go out there and try again. I really, honestly think that I’m going to find someone who’s going to help. It won’t go away. I just believe. These women are amazing and literally take my breath away. It's been a profound privilege to know them.

    Sun, 19 Oct 2008 - 16min
  • 20 - Episode 13 - Lucy

    Episode 13 of 24. A reading from the book Policies of Exclusion, Poverty & Health: Stories from the front. Compiled, with Introduction and Reports by Chrystal Ocean. Copyright 2005. Lucy's is a very powerful story told with a frankness which is refreshing. As with Glenna's story, you'll find yourself cheering, crying and guffawing all within a space of a few sentences. All these Ministries have their code word du jour, so now they have this dual diagnosis: depression + diabetes. Dual diagnosis is a crock of shit. It’s one thing. Poverty. Welfare puts you on such a diet you can’t afford fresh fruits or vegetables, you can’t afford any high protein. You’re stuck eating Welfare Diet... That many carbohydrates turn you into a blimp. Well eventually, as a blimp, you get diabetes and in the process of losing everything that you are, were, could have been, should have been, used to be, could have had, should have had, would have had... you lose yourself. After listening to this episode, PLEASE RATE and comment. (To do this, you must have the episode window open and scripting must be enabled. If you are reading this from the channel's homepage, click on the episode title to open the new window.) You'll see a comment form at the bottom of the page. To rate, pass your mouse over the stars and click the star representing your choice. Podcast channels with the highest ranking and number of ratings attract more listeners! Regarding comments, I'd be delighted to participate in discussions on the stories, whether on this podcast site or as part of an academic course.

    Fri, 05 Sep 2008 - 17min
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