Smart Family Podcast

Today's guest started having conversations with her child about avoiding drug use when he was still very young. So you can imagine the shock and denial she went through when she discovered he was using drugs as a teenager. Her story shows that it can happen to any parent. Ann is passionate about helping parents understand their own emotional reactions, and learning to regulate, and have better conversations with their teenager who may be 'going off the rails'. Most importantly, we talk about how to preserve and build stronger bonds with your child to guide them through this season in their development.

For many of you the name Max Lucado is very familiar. As a well-known Christian pastor and author of over 40 books which have sold more than 145 million copies, it is quite possible that there's a Max Lucado book on your bookshelf. On the other hand, we have a diverse audience and since Max speaks mainly about the Christian faith, maybe you've never heard of him. Regardless, this episode will be so helpful and interesting, no matter what your background. Even if you are not a spiritual person yourself, for many a faith perspective can be a vital lifeline in times of distress, bringing hope and meaning in an increasingly disconnected world. Being aware of someone's spriritual identity will help you understand not just what makes them tick and what brings them hope, but also where their resources lie. Recently Max wrote a book on loneliness for children - Just In Case You Ever Feel Alone - and we took the opportunity to speak to him not just about this book but in general about why we are so lonely, why young families need support, and why mental health and a vibrant faith perspective are so linked. You will be inspired by Max's message. 

Do you have a teen who seems to struggle with emotions? Or maybe you had a hard time self-regulating when you were a teenager and want to set your pre-teen up for success. When we read Melanie McNally's book The Emotionally Intelligent Teen we knew we wanted to interview her for the podcast. Adolescence can be so complex, and for teenagers who have big emotions they can't make sense of, or that seem to paralyze them, even a few helpful nudges can guide them to a much brighter future. Melanie speaks both from personal and clinical experience as a Gen Z Brain Coach and she was excited to share her insights with us. Listen in!

Ever feel like your collaborating or empathizing with your child isn't helping them, or you? How do you empathize with your child's feelings without giving your child more control than is healthy for them? Think about how you would feel if a plane you're flying on seems to be in trouble, but the pilot comes out and asks you what to do. You'd be terrified, right?? You need to know the pilot is in control, and has a plan. Parenting coach Mary Willcox Smith joins us on the podcast to share insights and practical, effective approaches that will help you face parenting challenges with empathy while also retaining your parenting role.

It's not uncommon to believe "I would never do...", from a posture of pride, while judging our spouse's actions. Or, "Okay. I'll lower myself to your point of view", which also finds its source in pride. Leaning into self-awareness is not an easy journey, but uncovering your blind spots is one step toward transforming your relationship. Jada Edwards, one of the teaching pastors at One Community Church in Plano, Texas shares a wealth of wisdom on marriage. She and her husband went through a rough season in their marriage, out of which Jada gleaned deep and practical insights that we discuss in this episode. "Do you think you have a PhD in your spouse? If you've been married for 5 years, you basically have a kindergarten level of that knowing." When you realize that your level of understanding of your partner is quite a bit less mature than you think, let that be motivation for you to ask more curious questions.

Certified financial planners interact daily with adults who have a relationship with money that is shaped by their experiences in childhood. Often these can be negative experiences that are tied to shame. Yet money is a part of our world and a tool for accomplishing pretty well everything and anything in life. So how do we help our kids develop a healthy relationship around money? How do we talk to our kids about earning it, spending it wisely, saving it and giving it away? What are some practical tools for teaching these valuable lessons to our children? When should we start? Ben Hockema is a certified financial planner and a dad who strongly believes that parents are the best people to talk to kids about money. In this episode he shares wisdom on this topic so that your kids (and parents!) can be wiser about money. Check it out.

'Just because it says "fruit" or "natural" on the product label doesn't mean the snack is healthy, especially for teeth.' That's just one snippet of wisdom from today's guest, Dr. Teresa Yang, professional dentist and author of the book, Nothing But the Tooth. Dr. Yang shares from her deep well of dentristy knowledge and experience to answer questions such as, "Does a baby tooth really need to be filled? Won't it just fall out?" and "It's an ordeal to get my child to see a dentist. What can I do?" and "How do I clean my baby's teeth?" and "What age should I start taking my child to a dentist?" Dr. Yang surveys a broad sweep of the questions she hears from parents over and over, to help you keep your family's smiles healthy and bright!

When we heard that the average child today spends 4-7 minutes outside per day and 4-7 hours on screens, we felt compelled to explore this further and consider what we could do about this. Ginny Yurich is a mom, author, speaker and founder of 1000 Hours Outside - an organization designed to challenge and equip families with the knowledge and tools they need to make outside time a transformative time for children and families. We were born to be outside, with friends and family, learning and playing. Ginny explains how this can be a realistic goal for any family and why it should be a priority for healthy development.

You want to instill confidence and resilience in your child, but sometimes it seems life has another agenda, doesn't it?! Today's expert William Vanderbloemen translates what he's learned through working with thousands of young adults about character traits and soft skills that set kids up for success in their chosen life pursuit. The good news is, your child doesn't need to be born with the habits and soft skills that will help them succeed. They are all learnable, and today's discussion focuses on how to influence your child to learn these skills. We also focus on how critical self-awareness is in our current culture, and how to get this message across. William Vanderbloemen's new book, Be the Unicorn, is a deep dive into the soft sklls that he, as a seasoned expert in recruiting, looks for in top talent.

Today Dr Rob Meeder shares his insights on children's mental health in an interview with Jeff Brodie. This is pretty well children's mental health in a nutshell... in 25 minutes. Dr Rob talks about everything from common mental health issues; what is stress (really); how behaviour, communication and mental health are connected; medications; how mental health starts in infancy and more. This was part of a 5 part series by Jeff Brodie at Connexus Community Church. Enjoy!

Today's marriage expert Chris Bruno knows from experience that one of the primary issues couples face over the long term is feeling disconnected. Maybe this resonates with you now, or has in the past. The question is, once you feel like the love is gone, is there still a future for your relationship? How can you rebuild your intimacy, from drifting apart to growing closer again? Chris shares invaluable advice about the power of kindness, in telling each other your stories and so much more. Find out more about Thrive Marriage Labs by checking out the shownotes on the Smart Family Podcast website.

Trauma can take on various forms and how children experience trauma will vary from child to child. Similarly, how to talk to children about this will vary. It is important to know how the brain is impacted by trauma and what that means for therapists, parents, teachers etc as they seek to help and nurture children who need to heal. Jessica Sinarski is a certified adoption therapist and now dedicates her work to helping the helpers. She creates resources for families and caregivers who seek to do this work well, informed by an ever-growing body of knowledge about how trauma impacts the developing brain. Today she shares her very practical wisdom on this topic - so helpful!

Do you have a child who shows signs of having heightened sensitivity to certain senses - bright lights, loud sounds, certain smells or tastes or textures? Will your child not only try to avoid the sensation, but even have a meltdown over the exposure? Perhaps there's a sensory processing disorder ("SPD") involved. Our guests, Rachel Harrington and Jessica Hill have years of practical experience helping children and their families to not only cope with SPD, but to find creative ways to 'grow into' the needs of their own nervous system. While SPD is more common in children on the autism spectrum or those with developmental disabilities, it also develops for other reasons, such as brain injury or prematurity. What's the difference between a sensory quirk and an actual sensory processing disorder? Tune into this episode for valuable info on this relevant and emerging field.

(FULL EPISODE] In this episode we learn how recent neuroscience meets the very practical world of parenting your baby. The early months and years of a child's life are the most important because those experiences become the foundation for an entire lifetime of mental health (and physical health). When your parent instinct tells you to reach out and nurture and connect with your baby - that is exactly what you need to do. In this episode neuroscientist and doula (aka baby expert!) Greer Kirshenbaum PhD, author of The Nurture Revolution talks with Dr Rob Meeder and explains how all of this works. No matter what stage of caregiving you are at you will feel so empowered yourself and encouraged by the nurture revolution that is moving in our communities! Enjoy! I guarantee you will never look at a baby the same way again, and your own mom or dad heart will thank you for it.

"Our world has become far more connected. The violence around us feels more personal..." says anxiety counselling expert Sissy Goff. This is only one of the reasons that parental worry has become a pressing, almost universal issue for all of us who are raising kids. How does a parent's anxiety and worry impact a child? What are some of the steps parents can take even today to bring the level of worry down? Working to gain more mastery over anxiety and worry will reap dividends in your family in the form of stronger bonds and more joy. Sissy is one of our fav's around here - third episode!!! - because she shares our heartbeat, aiming to help you to 'love being home'!!

"The magic of motherhood is in who you are, not what you do". Just one snippet of the sage, empowering advice from today's guest, Alli Worthington, author of "Remaining You While Raising Them". Ever felt like you've given the essence of yourself away, wondering where your zest for life went after you became a mom? As you pour yourself out to meet the needs of your family, what about your own desires and longings? What's your own mothering style? Just as no two humans are alike, no two mothers are exactly alike either. Alli's messages will encourage and help you to find your way back to who you are as you nurture your dear children. If you're a dad, do the mom in your life a big favour and tune in. Finding your way to emotional health is one of the surest ways to help set your kids up for an emotionally healthy future.

Ever find yourself wanting to have a good talk wtih your teen or tween and either getting nothing or an unexpected earful? How can we connect without seeoming pushy or fake? Do we avoid the deep emotions or dive in headfirst? If these questions are nagging and you feel you are just not able to connect with your child - this episode will provide some great advice. Ned Johnson co-wrote The Self-Driven Child with William Stixrud. After the success of that book they tackled some of the tougher communication problems described above in What Do You Say? Today we get to pick Ned's brain on some of the key messages he has for parents on how we can best communicate with our teens and tweens (and anyone else for that matter). It's a tricky balance sometimes  - being interested, but not pushy; being empathic, but not an anxious presence; wanting to give advice, but not be dogmatic; being logical, but not neglecting to respect the emotions....parenting is hard! This episode will help.

We got so much positive feedback on this episode and so many new listeners since it first aired in February 2021, that we felt it would be great to replay  - either to listen to again or for the first time. Enjoy!

Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed or disconnected in your marriage? Worried about how this is impacting the kids? Do you wonder if maybe splitting up is better than continuing on? Then this is an episode you won't want to miss. Toni and Carey Niewuhof reflect together on how marriage can become empty, and offer practical advice on how to turn it around. As a family law mediator and former divorce attorney Toni shares her insights in her new book "Before You Split". This honest and open conversation will instil hope - no matter where your marriage is at.

When we talked with Jennifer Kolari previously on the podcast (episode 35) we got such great feedback - and no wonder! Jennifer provides such rich advice on how we can really truly connect on a meaningful level with our kids, and our partners. We are wired for relationship and born to connect. Jennifer opens the box and unpacks how our brains really do this and what to do when connections are broken. Check this episode out if you long for deeper connections with everyone in your circle.

Rob's wife Rose takes her place behind the mic as the better half in our episode today! Whether you're a mom, a dad or a partner, you know how the things you've said 'yes' to may bump up against what you're trying to accomplish at home. Ever felt guilty about that? Ever wondered how to manage outside responsibiities and family-related ones, and still care for your own needs? Rose is filled with wisdom about living well, involving others, setting boundaries and living them out, and loving her family so well. Join us, and if the spirit moves you, let Rob and I know what you feel is holding you back in your home life.

We want you to hear this episode - so we are playing it again in case you missed it the first time. It is powerful. "Most things that seem complicated are actually just hard." This is a central idea that grounds Dr. Anita Phillips' work as a trauma therapist and life coach. Marriage is a primary relationship where the impacts of trauma - often trauma that occurred prior to the relationship - show up. And when it does, labelling behaviours and laying blame may come easily for the other partner., However, untangling the deeper causes for the behaviour is hard work. Dr. Anita shares a very compelling analogy using seeds and plants to illustrate the process of getting back to the root of behaviours that are causing stress. There's probably no human alive who is untouched by the impacts of trauma in their circle of loved ones. That's why we bill this episode as one not to miss, and we're grateful to Dr. Anita for sharing her wealth of wisdom.

Sports are part of our society and so it's no wonder that parents wonder whether they should put their kids into sports. And if so, when and what sport? These are all great questions that we explore today with Dr Katie Misener. Katie's research is devoted to sports and their benefits - not just for kids but also for parents and our communities. It turns out that getting kids involved in sports is good not just for their physical health, but also their mental health, and more. If you are a parent with kids in sports or thinking about it - you'll love this episode.

Wouldn't it be great if you had a parenting mentor at your side during those difficult parenting moments? Sometimes we are faced with conundrums - do I intervene, or let my kids figure it our on their own? When do I shift from manager to consultant role? What about sibling rivalry? How can we be real with uncomfortable emotions in front of our kids? What if one parent wants to parent differently? Well parenting expert Sue Groner helps us out today! Sue is the author of Parenting with Sanity And Joy: 101 Simple Strategies and she is a mom herself who shares honestly from her experience, backed up by research and time-tested parenting strategies that work. If you are well into the parenting journey or just starting out, this episode is for you.

Ever wondered about why it's sometimes hard to sync up your intentions for your relationships, and the ways you actually show up? Childhood trauma isn't necessarily what you think it is - we tend to think of the death of a parent or being involved in a life-threatening incident or being sexually abused when we talk about the lasting impacts of trauma (and rightfully so), but sometimes the sources of trauma are not obviously recognized. Trauma expert Dr. Kathleen Murphy joins us for an in-depth exploration of the ways developmental or complex trauma experienced before adulthood may manifest in words and behaviours in our couple relationships and parenting. If you've been treated abusively in your past, you may want to invite a friend to listen along with you and be there, for support. What Dr. Murphy shares is so honest, insightful and powerful, you won't want to miss this conversation, whether it applies to you personally or someone close to you.

The world of teenagers is vastly different from the high-school world we experienced. This generation is digitally-native, more diverse and open to talking about mental health. This might leave your head spinning - what was taboo just a few years ago is now normal. Yet many teenagers are struggling with their mental health and the adults in their lives (teachers and parents) can sometimes find it hard to connect and support them. Today we talk to clinical psychologst and teen mental health expert Deborah Offner. She speaks extensisvely with teens, parents and teachers - mainly in the school setting - and is therefore able to give us the "inside scoop" on connecting with and understanding teenagers. She shares her insight with us today - so that you can parent your teenagers better.

We found this conversation not only enlightening and super practical, but also lively and surprising. Today's expert guest, Patrick Lencioni is acclaimed worldwide for his business acumen and leadership insights. The model he's talking about in our conversation was originally conceived of through his business and team experience, but the wonderfully surprising discovery is that this model (similar to other personality typing systems) has helped many people and couples with their relationships at home. Did you know that you have working geniuses, competencies and frustrations - and yours may be completely different from your partner's? Or, they may be the same, in which case there are other hurdles to be aware of. Discover more about this model and how it can be applied to strengthen ALL your family relationships.

So pumped to have Dr Mona Delahooke back for another brand-new episode. Today we discuss how everyday practical parenting links with a new understanding of child behaviour and how brains and bodies are interlinked. Drawing on insights from her new book Brain-Body Parenting, Mona simplifies a complex theory called polyvagal theory and applies it to frustrating parenting challenges we see every day. She offers very practical advice about understanding and managing tantrums, defiance, and sensory challenges we see in our kids. Finally she asks us all to take a deep breath and look after ourselves too, so that we can all enjoy the relationship we have with our children on a deeper more intimate level. Are you ready to take your parenting to the next level?

If you're in a relationship and you value a sex life that is exciting and enduring, hear what our expert Dr. Michael Sytsma, experienced sex therapist and marriage researcher, has to say. His high-quality research findings are so encouraging for couples who look forward to a vibrant sex life for decades! Openness and honesty about physical intimacy plays a vital role. Did you know that there are different and equally legitimate types of sexual desire? The issues in your sex life that are frustrating you may be more resolvable than you think. Discover how and why with Dr. Mike, back with us for the third time to explain the results of his research from the book he co-authored, Secrets of Sex and Marriage.

Welcome to Part 2 of our conversation with Andy and Sandra Stanley as we dive further into the topic of parenting. Andy and Sandra explain how we need to keep our parenting focused on the relationships first and foremost, and how they intentionally built that into every aspect of their parenting years - which have now evolved into friendships with their adult children. What do you need to do to ensure your children want to be with you, and each other, even when they no longer have to? In other words, what can you do to help your children love being home?

Nobody gave you a manual when your child was born, so now what? Today we get some fantastic advice from speakers and authors Andy and Sandra Stanley. They emphasize how every family needs to have a "north star" that guides the family journey. Andy and Sandra, drawing upon their own parenting experience with candid recollections and humor, make a strong case for a "north star" that focuses on the relationship above all. Having been involved with youth and fostering as well, Andy and Sandra are able to distill these concepts for us in their new book Parenting - Getting IT Right - but our conversation was not distilled enough to squeeze it into one episode. So this is part 1! Join us next week for part 2!

Most of us parents know what it's like to be stressed out, dealing with your child telling lies. Practically every parent faces this issue at one time or another. How to handle lying in ways that don't make it worse is tricky and sometimes not intuitive. Today's guest Colleen Doyle Bryant is author of the book Common Decency and known for her character resources to equip teachers and parents with better, research-based ways of developing good character in our children and teens. In this episode, Colleen gives us the background info along with many practical examples of how to apply strategies that encourage honesty and self-respect in our kids.

Do infants have "mental health"? How important are those early weeks and months when it comes to developing secure attachments to caregivers? Well, today our own cohost Dr Rob Meeder shares recent learnings about these topics. Rob makes the point that those early relationship matter - a lot! Why? Because this is when kids develop the skill of mentalization - the ability to understand the state of mind of others as we develop trust. Furthermore, this happens most effectively in the context of a secure relationship, one where children feels safe and secure, and thus able to explore the outside world with confidence. Join us today as Rob and Toni unpack these concepts and provide some practical strategies for laying a foundation for mental wellbeing throughout the lifespan.

Listen in on what Brad Griffin, co-author of The Three Big Questions that Change Every Teenager, offers out of his depth of experience in researching and living out the approaches that build solid, healthy relationships with young people. From research he co-led, we turn our focus to the questions every teenage holds in common: what is my identity; where do I belong; and what is my purpose? Our conversation provides insight into how you can harness these questions to deepen your family ties, along with a wealth of practical advice on positioning yourself to make these connections happen naturally and authentically. We even address what to do if all you tend to get from your teenager are grunts and one-word answers! Above all, here's one thing we insist you keep in mind: you already are a GREAT parent!

Acclaimed relationship expert Dr John Delony brings it in this interview! We tackle two issues that can wreak havoc in a relationship when they're not dealt with, namely, loneliness and trauma of the past. Do you have a friend you could call in the middle of the night in an emergency? We have a hope-filled conversation about how to build authentic friendships. Dr. John has written about the diverse, often unnoticed impacts of unresolved trauma. These include broken relationships, poor mental health and chronic illnesses. "Our brains are prediction machines and threat detection systems...all the time," he explains. Join us for more of John Delony's excellent, practical advice on how deal with the wounds of your past and unpack the "bricks" you've been carrying around for a healthier you and stronger marriage.

In this episode, Rob turns the mic on Toni about what she learned in her practice as a divorce attorney about relationships and the struggles almost every couple experiences. She is transparent about the challenges in her own marriage with her husband Carey, and the transformation that they eventually experienced. Toni talks about how to fight for "we" instead of "me", the benefits of ditching your own victim story, how to grow closer in any intimate relationship.

What a thrill to talk with Dr Karyn Gordon - psychologist, Ted Talk speaker and author of The Three Chairs. Karyn has done years of research on leadership and what makes an effective leader. Using principles from her knowledge of family systems she has figured out what allows people to work together effectively. She has distilled her findings into a metaphor which she calls The Three Chairs. Together we unpack this idea and along the way talk about self-leadership, self-confidence and how to distinguish between thoughts and feelings (hint: it's super important to understand the difference!). Listen in and find out which chair you might be sitting in.....

When Jon Acuff asked kids at a camp to write down their hidden doubts and fears, it became clear to him that the soundtracks they're listening to - the negative messages they feed themselves - aren't setting them up for success. Sound familiar? Has overthinking ever been an issue for you? If you've ever caught yourself thinking I'm not _____ enough to do that or heard your child saying, "I'm the worst at ________" or your teen saying, "I'll never pass ______" or "Fat chance I'll ever get into _______", then stop right here and listen in. Jon Acuff tackles this problem head-on, backed by research in his recent book, Soundtracks. Even better, in this conversation he shares what he and his two teenaged daughters, L.E. and McRae have learned, applied and written about to help other teens replace their broken soundtracks with thoughts that launch them into a better future.

Does your child have difficulty focusing or paying attention? Are they hyperactive? Do you wonder if they (or maybe you) have ADHD? Maybe a friend or teacher has suggested the diagnosis and now you don't know what to do. Today we turn to ADHD expert and author Dr Walter Karniski for answers. He explains where ADHD comes from, why it used to be an advantage to have ADHD but how for many people it is a challenge. He explains how ADHD isn't really a disease or based in actual pathology but is better perceived as being a maldaptive way of coping in today's complicated world. He also goes into detail about medications. If you have ever wondered whether you or your child has ADHD, this episode will address common questions. Want to know more? Check out Dr Karniski's book ADHD Medication: Does It Work and Is It Safe?

Ever wonder if your kids have too few friends? Or too many? Or none? It's been a tough few years for kids and personal connection. As parents we want our kids to grow in a healthy family and community environment. We want positive peer influences - but how do we protect them from the negative influences (or should we?). What about the pull of on-line connections versus in-real-life connections? Dr Rob Meeder tackles all this and more in a super practical way that will help you as you parent your children through the ups and downs of life in a busy and often confusing world.

On the fence about whether you should sign your kids up for sports? Prior to the pandemic, lots of families were engaged in sports but recently parents have started to rethink whether to sign kids back up for sports or not. One of the reasons parents are hesitating is the toxic culture that exists in certain sports and teams - one that is often driven by coaches who bully and one that is hitting headline news on a regular basis. We learn that trying to "motivate" kids by bullying them is actually counter-productive and harmful. In this episode we talk to author and speaker Jennifer Fraser who has lived-experience with this issue and has written extensively about this in her recent books. We talk about sports, but also bullying in general, and how we can protect our kids so that sports - and every area of their life - can be enjoyable, healthy, fun and safe. Find out more at bulliedbrain.com.

Ever felt that nagging feeling you should be doing something for your kids or at home while you're at work? Or, doing something more at the office once you're at home? For the first time on our podcast, we're tackling the problem of 'mom guilt' (but for you men, we don't believe that only mothers get this feeling!). Dr Michelle Deering is a psychologist with decades of experience in helping people overcome the emotional hurdles in their lives and family relationships. She talks about the core beliefs that give rise to 'mom guilt', dispels the myth that you need to be present with your children all the time, and shines light on the often-hidden problem of mom's needs being deprioritized - by mom herself. She gives us valuable, practical advice on how to move beyond feeling guilty while building stronger bonds with your spouse and kids, and emerging with a healthier you!

This episode will inspire you. We get right into the nuts and bolts of the motto of our podcast: "Love Being Home!" with clinical psychologist Dr Lynyetta Willis. Do you feel like you are stuck in your family relationships? Do you see your spouse and kids and wonder if you are settling for mediocrity? Can there be more to your marriage and parenting? Dr Willis thinks so. She explains how we can get stuck in patterns of stable misery. More importantly, she describes how to move out of that pattern and move towards dynamic joy using the PATHS framework. We learned so much talking to Dr Wilis and believe you will be inspired to take a step in the right direction and can once again Love Being Home.Enjoy!

  The tough times we've all been through lately have been impacting our marriages. How's it going with your sex life these days? Today's guest has years of experience helping couples get to the root of problems with their sexual intimacy. In this episode, Toni and our guest Amie Latta talk about the three most common pitfalls that trip couples up in the bedroom, along with practical wisdom on potential solutions and next steps. She shares ways to move past the barriers you've been experiencing but not really discussing, including the performance pressure we too often place on ourselves. If you've been wondering how to deal with a sensitive issue impacting your sex life - that one you're afraid to raise with your partner - you'll want to hear what Amie has to say. 

Having conversations with our kids about topics of diversity, equity and inclusion can feel complicated these days. Even during periods when we're not hearing much about racial prejudice in the news, there's a lot for us to learn and much work to be done to right the wrongs of racial injustice in our societies. How can you and your family be part of ongoing antiracism efforts to put an end to racial injustice for this generation? Deanna Singh has been named by Forbes as an African American woman everyone needs to know. Educated in law and business, Deanna is both a social entrepreneur and a changemaker. She tells her story of how east met west in her family of origin, her own childhood experience of racism, and how she and her family approach other cultures with curiosity and love.

For some families camp is a sure sign of summer and a childhood staple. For other families - maybe not so much. What are camps all about anyways? Is my kid ready for camp? How do camps develope their leaders? These are legitimate questions and we throw them like a sticky smore at Rich Birch - camp director extraordinaire and leadership expert. You will discover how camps are much more than just places for kids to pass the time, how they take health and safety seriously, and what you should look for in a camp before you register your kids.

There were two times during their earlier years of married life when our guests, Alisa and Tony DiLorenzo, were contemplating divorce. They were feeling emotionally disconnected and their sex life was flatlined. But they were both engaged just enough to try something they never had done before. It was a decision they made about their sex life that sparked a turnaround. That was many years ago, and since then, our guests have been coaching other couples on how to build strong, healthy marriages by paying attention to six types of intimacy, which they refer to as "pillars". Are the building blocks of your marriage in great condition, or are there cracks? Tune in to what our marriage coaches/podcasters have to say!

Ever been perplexed at a boy's behaviour? If so, you'll appreciate this conversation with counselling expert David Thomas which we had exactly 2 years ago. He has been counselling kids and families for years, with a focus on boys. David has a lot to share about how boys develop and communicate, what makes them tick and how to understand their hearts. This episode really resonated with listeners and continues to be downloaded daily and no wonder - with practical advice and words of wisdom this episode is packed full of information for parents of boys. Enjoy it for the first time, or listen again!

Episode 34 with child psychologist Mona Delahooke was posted a year ago and remains our top episode on the show. No wonder - Mona's straightforward explanation of why children behave the way they do really resonated with so many listeners. Based on concepts from her book Beyond Behaviors, Mona gives us practical advice on how to address challenging behaviours. She explains why what we see is just the "tip of the iceberg" and why certain approaches to managing challenging behaviours work better than others. Drawing on concepts of the Polyvagal Theory she reframes how we need to understand behaviour so that we can parent more effectively.

This bonus episode follows our conversation last week with Dr Anita Federici. We take a more in-depth look at the medical issues associated with eating disorders with Andrea Logan, a Nurse Practitioner on the front lines of the pandemic-related eating disorder surge. We discuss the recent trends observed by Andrea and her team, and how the team works together with the patient and their family to address an eating disorder and the medical complications associated with it. Eating disorders are potentially life-threatening, but with proper treatment they can be overcome. Please note: this episode is for general information only and does not substitute for medical advice from your health care provider. If you or someone you know is struggling with disordered eating - please get help (see show notes for links).

One of the most drastic impacts of COVID 19 on mental health has been the surge of eating disorders. For many people, eating disorders are hard to understand - eating just seems like such a basic and usually pleasurable human need. How does someone not see the impacts of disordered eating on their physical health? How does an eating disorder start? Do teenagers choose not to eat? How can we possibly help them? These are exactly the sorts of questions we unpack with psychologist expert Dr Anita Federici. As an expert on eating disorders she has the practical wisdom and understands the psychology behind disordered eating. She revelas the sometimes subtle ways it starts and shares how we as parents can help. What can we do? say? not say? Listen in! (And stay tuned next week when we release part 2 - a discussion on the clinical effects of eating disorders with Andrea Logan)

How would you respond if your child said they wanted to be an artist when they grow up? It seems like we tend to think of art as a hobby and might even steer our kids away from being artists. World renowned artist Cbabi Bayoc has a different message: encourage creativity in your kids and it will help them grow in all areas of their lives. Furthermore, if you want your children to make a difference when they grow up, art can be a powerful medium for change and social justice, as Cbabi Bayoc is now for the Black community. This episode will inspire you and is sure to make you respect art as a process and medium for change, not just as a finished product.

In this episode, we have the privilege of hearing from a divorce attorney who has a fresh take on financial planning prior to taking your vows. Atlanta attorney Aaron Thomas maintains that couples benefit from a meaningful process of financial disclosure and negotiations prior to marrying, because compared with prior decades, the financial implications of marrying these days tend to be more complex. It's more like merging two private corporations than it is starting out with nothing - as our parents and grandparents did. Whether you call it a pre-nup, or a post-nuptial agreement or a collaborative marriage agreement (Toni and Rob's take), we're excited for you to hear more about why it makes sense to follow the process today's expert advocates for.

So pleased to welcome leadership expert Kadi Cole to the podcast. Do you have a child in whom you see leadership potential? Are girls being held back from leadership by thoughts within their own head? If you have a budding leader at home, you will love our conversation with leadership expert Kadi Cole. We examine why risk taking and decision making is so important for kids to experience and learn. Discover why there is a leadership gender gap in certain sectors, but also in leadership education. This episode will be especially empowering for girls who are showing leadership potential as Kadi discusses her own journey to becoming a highly respected and skilled leader. Enjoy!

Wow! Episode 50! And what a privilege to add another expert voice to the podcast. Today we talk with mental health therapist and children's book author Christina Furnival. She speaks from her own experience and research on the topic of boundaries. We shouldn't expect our kids to be friends with everyone - there are limits. In fact setting limits shows others what we value and who we are. How do we teach our kids about setting boundaries? What are the risks if we do not teach them this skill? We also talk about the concept of self-love and filling your home with positivity and growth, rather than negativity.

Ned Johnson has decades of experience as an expert tutor working with teens and parents on standardized test performance. In their book, The Self-Driven Child, he and Dr. William Stixrud share the postures and practices that help kids optimize their performance, while nurturing their relationships with their parents. Hear more about how considering yourself to be a consultant as opposed to a manager makes all the difference. This episode gives you practical strategies to help you release your child into a bright future while maintaining the healthy, strong bond you desire with your child, now and into the future.

We are so pleased to have marriage and family therapist Ron Deal back with us to discuss the blended family. If you are in a position of preparing to blend families with your new partner's family, or adding a step-parent to the mix, what are some pitfalls to avoid and issues to discuss? We ask all the tough questions: What do we call each other? Should we plan a wedding (and how?) What if there's animosity between families? What if kids aren't ready for the transition? This episode dives deep into one of the most common family units out there - the blended family!

When a spouse complains about their partner's level of desire for sex, there are common misunderstandings. Did you know there are different but equally valid types of sexual desire? We loved the opportunity to sit down again with Dr. Michael Sytsma (second-time guest; see also Episode 3) for a science-based and super-practical conversation largely focused on original research he conducted along with fellow researcher, Shaunti Feldhahn (we were honoured to host Shaunti on Episode 9). For example, a couple may easily misjudge that they are further apart in what they want out of their sex life than they actually are. Find out solutions to some of the common mistakes and misconceptions couples struggle with and get on with making your sex life more of what you both want it to be.

"The brain is an organ sculpted by experience." In this episode we sit down with Dr Ed Tronick, a pioneer in the field of child psychology and Dr Claudia Gold, a pediatrician expert and advocate for the study of parent-infant mental health. We've delved into the importance of early experiences before but in this episode we look specifically at one of the most powerful paradigms in child psychology, the Still Face Paradigm, which Dr Tronick discovered. Both Ed and Claudia make powerful arguments for why being able to move from states of mismatch and repair is vital when developing healthy relationships and how this need for repair is wired into babies right from birth. We also discuss how this paradigm relates to trauma and resilience; and how mental health, development and attachment are so closely related.

Whether it's helping your kids with college tuition or having the financial margin to help your kids start off in life, getting your family finances in order is key. In today's culture we are constantly bombarded with messages to spend, spend, spend and accumulating debt, rather than making sustainable decisions for long-term success. Financial expert, author, speaker and podcaster Anthony ONeal shares with us how he went from couch-surfing to financial security. Anthony shares with us some very practical tips on how to manage debt and move your financial position out of the red and into the black. 

"Every teenager is a walking bundle of questions." If you have a teenager - guaranteed! - your teen has questions that may leak out, or remain bottled up. Kara Powell and Brad Griffin of the Youth Fuller Institute did research prompted by their passion to help parents and others who work with young people to better address our teens' tough questions. While your teen's questions may be broad and varied including issues such as the environment or money or social justice, these experts uncovered three questions that every teen is asking, whether or not they're voicing them to you. Kara shares practical advice about the role of empathy in having real conversations about your teen's tough questions. She also provides valuable insights into which critical questions your teenager needs answers to.

"Most things that seem complicated are actually just hard." This is a central idea that grounds Dr. Anita Phillips' work as a trauma therapist and life coach. Marriage is a primary relationship where the impacts of trauma - often trauma that occurred prior to the relationship - show up. And when it does, labelling behaviours and laying blame may come easily for the other partner., However, untangling the deeper causes for the behaviour is hard work. Dr. Anita shares a very compelling analogy using seeds and plants to illustrate the process of getting back to the root of behaviours that are causing stress. There's probably no human alive who is untouched by the impacts of trauma in their circle of loved ones. That's why we bill this episode as one not to miss, and we're grateful to Dr. Anita for sharing her wealth of wisdom.

In this episode Smart Family Podcast co-host Dr Rob Meeder tackles common questions about behaviour and mental health. With over 20 years experience as a pediatrician, and now with a practice devoted solely to families and children dealing with behaviour and mental health issues, Dr Rob is well-equiped to talk about topics like behaviour, stress, trauma and resilience. Plus find out more about common mental health diagnoses such as anxiety, autism and ADHD, the role of medications, and why a diagnostic label might sometimes be less useful than we think.

When you tell your child, "Don't let me catch you doing that again!", will they stop? Or will they just try harder the next time to make sure they don't get caught! That's one of the issues our parenting expert Alfie Kohn uncovers as problematic in the conditional parenting approach. He advocates for an approach to parenting that values children for who they are and not simply how they behave. Kohn argues that the conditional approach sends a message to the child that they are loveable when they do the right things and not loveable when they don't. Although conditional parenting is quite ingrained in our culture, the research shows it has a less than ideal impact on forming moral character. It raises the question: what do you really want for your child's future?

The paradigm of understanding behaviour is shifting. Where we used to just see positive and negative reinforcement as our only options to address misbehaviour, we are now urged to consider how stressors lead to stress behaviour. Join us in this extremely informative episode as we talk with Dr Stuart Shanker about reframing the behaviour we are seeing in our children (and everyone else too). He will tell us how we can begin to help our children and ourselves self-regulate, allowing children to develop to their full potential. This is one you do not want to miss!

If you want to know more about how to support your infant, child or teen's development in the context of the underlying neuroscience, this interview with an expert Infant, Child and Teen Psychiatrist will shed welcome light. Dr. Clinton combines her decades of clinical psychiatry practice with her passion to serve as a knowledge translator of the advances in neuroscience to offer practical and impactful advice for parents and educators. She keeps the emphasis on what parents can manage: the goal is progress, not perfection. Dr. Clinton also stresses that you need a community as a parent; don't go it alone.

Has stress over finances taken a toll on your relationship? Today's guest, Stephanie Sims, has drawn from lessons learned over many years of personal and client experience to establish her life's calling: helping others manage their finances and make progress toward debt-free living. In this episode, Stephanie shares invaluable insights and perspectives that will help you see budgeting, for example, not negatively but in terms of what you are making possible through your choices. We talk about the most common arguments or pitfalls around money and strategies to overcome them.

In any given year, 20% of adults will be struggling with mental illness. That means a lot of marriages are impacted at some point during the marriage. Sometimes it can destroy a marriage when we see only the illness and not the person we once knew and loved. Or perhaps the burden is too much for the supporting spouse. How can partners help each other during these hard times? What if there are kids involved? What if one spouse refuses to get help, or is actually harming himself or others in the family? Then what? We tackle all of these questions in this episode with Dr Charity Byers. As a clinical psychologist who has helped couples sort through this she has so much valuable wisdom to share.

Technology can be wonderful and it has made our lives easier in so many ways - even in the current pandemic. Yet it is also the "fire of our times" and a real flashpoint for many families. Why is that? Child Psychiatrist and author Dr Shimi Kang talks about this from a brain science perspective and explains how the various neurochemicals in our brain are impacted by technology use, even to the point of addiction. She describes some very practical ways we can shift our tech diet from "junk food" to "health food". Afterwards access her free resources in our shownotes.

Limit setting with your child can feel like a parenting task that creates distance between you and your child. Jennifer Kolari is a child and family therapist who created a therapeutic model that encourages parents to treat kids with compassion while supporting behavioural change from the inside out. She teaches a method with the acronym CALM, which she explains in this conversation with Toni and Dr. Rob. These teachings along with mirroring and her overall philosophy of bringing out the best in both parents and kids have resulted in wonderful changes in the families she's worked with.

Do you feel like you are always walking on eggshells to prevent a blowup at home? Does a child's behaviour come out of the blue? Child psychologist Mona Delahooke explains all of these things to us. Delving into Polyvagal Theory and past over-simplified "checklist" behavioural medicine, Mona urges us to see behaviour in a deeper and more holistic way. Once we understand where a child's behaviour is coming from, then we can start to address it in a meaningful way. The science of children's behaviour is shifting and it is vital we grasp this if we want to help children grow up to be resilient and empathic, and live meaningful lives.

Are you feeling stuck, overwhelmed or disconnected in your marriage? Worried how this is impacting the kids? Do you wonder if maybe splitting up is better than continuing on? Then this is an episode you won't want to miss! Toni and Carey Nieuwhof reflect together on how a marriage can become empty, and offer practical advice on how to turn it around. As a family law mediator and former divorce attorney Toni shares her insights in her new book Before You Split. This honest and open conversation will instil hope - no matter where your marriage is at.

We've had a couple of conversations over the past year about shame with Dr. Craig Brannan, and here we continue digging deeper. Craig shares some specific ways that parents (usually unintentionally) create shame in their kids. He also brings to light a song featured in the movie, Tangled, that demonstrates statements that invalidate kids. It's never too late to take action to break generational cycles of parenting that cause shame. Craig shares how he has used personal failure and confession to strengthen his relationships with his adult kids. After discussing parenting, we shift the focus to the ways shame shows up in marriage, as extensions of the quality of attachments with parents. He suggests ways and approaches that help couples gain insight into each other's behaviour based on their family of origin experiences. Creating an atmosphere of acceptance and responding to your spouse's prior trauma with empathy can make such a difference in a marriage.

This past year has been so hard for families. With lockdowns, stay-at-home orders and closed schools, it has been hard for parents and children to adjust. Mental health issues have increased sharply. What can we do to help our teens? It's such a pleasure to have anxiety expert, counsellor and best-selling author Sissy Goff back with us again to shed some light on this question and share with us her advice to help us through these difficult times.

Autism has a well-defined set of diagnostic criteria. However, the behaviours often serve a purpose and if we take the time to ask "why?" it will lead to a deeper understanding of the person with an autism diagnosis. Dr Prizant has worked with people with autism for decades. In this conversation he challenges us to see autism in a new way.

If you've suffered the loss of a baby or child, or someone close to you has, we believe this conversation will help. Devoted advocate for grieving parents, Candy McVicar experienced the loss of her first baby at 33 weeks gestation. She's committed to assisting other parents who've lost children, raising awareness of the types of care and support that help people heal, and helping your marriage & family survive such tragic loss. 

What is ADHD exactly? Aren't all kids normally a little hyperactive? Can it be due to too much sugar in the diet? Should my teenager with ADHD be driving? Do stimulant medications actually work? If you have ever asked any of these questions, this episode is for you! We speak with Dr Russell Barkley - foremost expert on ADHD - on how ADHD is actually a difficulty with self-regulation which impacts all areas of life. In this information-packed episode, we explore how it can be managed so that you and your child can thrive.

If you've been married any number of years, you've probably at least started to question the naive optimism you entered your life together with. Forgiveness? We're so much in sync, yes we'll need it but we're good. We've got this! Even if you agree that you might face hard times at some point in your marriage, in the back of your mind you really don't think you'll ever have life-rocking grievances you need to forgive each other for. Fast forward several years and suddenly there's the affair, or the porn or alcohol addiction...and then, forgiveness becomes the issue. We're so grateful for Lysa TerKeurst's honestly and transparency about her personal experience walking the path of forgiveness toward her husband and others, and for the wealth of wisdom she has garnered and shares so that we, too, can find strength and healing in our close relationships.

Are you one of the many parents dealing with your kids learning from home? Some parents we've been talking to are homeschooling their kids for the first time. Others are dealing with helping their kids learn online from home. While both these scenarios have significant differences, there are common elements. Today, we pick the brain of an experienced educator and homeschooler, Erin Clark. She shares her approaches, including how she organizes and leads her 3 kids through their education and how she keeps the process of learning fresh and alive. We hope this episode helps lift the overwhelm and equips you to guide your child's journey of learning and you, enjoying the ride!

Wow we had fun with this episode! We wanted to make our conversation with Ian Morgan Cron and the Enneagram personality assessment super practical for you in this episode. So we distilled all the best from our recent conversation about marriage and parenting and then we find out how two married couples (yup - your hosts Rob and Toni and their spouses) work this into the fabric of their everyday lives. We hope this inspires you to "know yourself" as you work on all the important relationships in your lives!

How much screen use is okay? How can you ensure your kid's digital exposure benefits their development without causing harm? How do you guide your kids to develop life skills such as attention, appreciation and the ability to apologize when tech-driven communication trends tend to oppose these skills? Screen use and social media has been on the rise for years, and although technology has opened up new possibilities for growth for our kids, it has at the same time introduced significant dangers for kids and serious challenges for parents. Hear from Arlene Pellicane about practical solutions that help you set your kids up for life with strong relational skills while also gaining benefits from the tech world.

Childhood trauma is devastating. When a child's brain develops it is exquisitely sensitive to stress - before and after birth. Stress hormones literally rewire the brain, affect healthy attachment, and impair the development of pathways that promote self-regulation. This means that when we see highly dysregulated behaviour it is often due to childhood trauma. In this episode we talk with psychologist Dr Michael Gurian about different types of trauma and how they affect child development - causing not only mental health issues but also physical illness even decades later. Learn more about the Adverse Childhood Experiences Study and what you can do to prevent the harmful effect of ACEs in your own children. Dr Gurian also shares his own experience with childhood sexual abuse. (Please be aware that we speak frankly about sexual abuse in this episode).

There's a lot of talk about how adult behaviour is driven by the underlying desire to mask shame, but when the rubber hits the road and you're parenting babies or young children, what can you do to prevent shame from developing in your own kids? While there's still so much undiscovered territory on this topic, there are some super practical ways that will help parents with the task of raising emotionally aware and responsive kids. We welcome Dr. Craig Brannan back to our podcast to uncover some of the research and to share his real life experiences as he raises his adopted infant daughter to develop emotional security as opposed to shame.

Ever wonder how you're going to move beyond exposing your kids to educational materials, when you look around and see no Black people in your neighbourhood? How do we as parents act as change agents to instill attitudes of anti-racism in the next generation? Today we have that conversation with Ashlee Eiland and Dr. Bryan Loritts - both pastors and both generously willing to talk to us about what they've experienced and observed as best practices and potential pitfalls for parents who care about racial equality.

Have you ever left an argument with your husband or wife feeling unsatisfied - that their apology was lame? On the other hand, has your spouse ever accused you of saying "I'm sorry" but not really meaning it? Yet, we know that not making amends leaves us open to being blocked in our marriage by walls that are built of unresolved hurts. In this eipsode we talk to Dr Jennifer Thomas - a psychologist who has studied and written extensively about the relational skill of apologizing. Dr Thomas explains how we all speak a different apology language; how we need to practice this regularly with our partners; and model and teach this to our kids.

Should I monitor my teenager's texts? Should I buy my 11 year-old a smartphone? How much screen time should my son get? If these questions resonate with you, then this episode with Jeff and Wendy Henderson will offer some practical guidance. It's not easy being a parent in a tech-filled world. There are so many good things about technology and the various social media platforms, but kids and teenagers are especially vulnerable to the pitfalls and dangers they present as well. As gifted speakers and authors, but foremost as parents themselves, Jeff and Wendy Henderson have a heart for families and communities and they strongly believe that kids need our guidance to help them navigate this world of technology. Their practical common-sense advice on this topic will help move your family to better place in cyberspace.

The pandemic has been a crisis on so many levels. Not surprisingly, it has had a real impact on our closest relationships as well - for better or for worse. Today Dr Gary Chapman - author of The Five Love Languages - teaches us five simple ways we can strengthen our marriages, even when it feels like we are stuck at home together. There's actually no better time than this to really work on our marriages and our parenting relationships. From years of experience counselling couples, Dr Chapman shares his wealth of advice with us to "guide our various ships through the same storm" so we can emerge on the other side of this pandemic with healthier relationships than ever before.

Do you lie awake at night wondering whether the fighting between you will impact your kids? Do you feel stuck at an impasse over a marriage or parenting issue and not sure what to do next? Experienced mediator Lisa Emms Wice has helped countless people up their peacemaking skills. She shares her wealth of wisdom for couples and parents alike. Lisa is a wiz at helping couples move past their impasses, especially when there are children's issues involved. Take some tips from Lisa and turn what might have been an ugly scene into a better experience for everyone.

If you are a parent about to enter, or in the middle of, the teenage years - this episode is for you. We have an open and honest conversation with Dr. Kara Powell - Executive Director of the Fuller Youth Institute. Kara has done extensive research into teenagers and anxiety. Although she approaches the issue from a spiritual perspective, her insights apply to teenagers and parenting in any situation. This episode will encourage and inspire you but, most importantly, make you hopeful for the next generation as you learn to parent them in an anxiety-provoking culture.

Expecting a baby and giving birth is supposed to be a happy occasion and a time of love and bonding. For so many parents however, it is a time of struggle and deep emotional pain, like being in a fog. The accompanying guilt and loss of function can rob a mother or father of the opportunity to nurture and bond with their newborn baby and strengthen family relationships. Yet perinatal mental health is often overlooked, despite the fact that it is the most common health complication of the perinatal period. Today we shine a light on this issue with two women - Jaime Charlebois and Patricia Tomasi - who have not only lived through their own experiences but have also become advocates and experts for this cause. If you've had a baby and are struggling with mood or anxiety, or know someone who is, this episode will bring hope and validation.

There have been many books written about effective discipline in children but few as popular as Dr Tom Phelan's 1-2-3 Magic. In this episode we talk with Dr Phelan and draw upon his decades of experience helping families. We discover that 1-2-3 Magic is about much more than simply counting. We delve into why this simple technique works - how it allows children to know when they have not met an expectation, then gives them the opportunity to turn it around before facing a consequence. But Dr Phelan's method is about so much more - promoting positive (or "start") behaviours and developing a healthy long-term relationship with your child. If you've ever been frustrated by constant negative interactions with your child and want to turn it around so that you love being home, this episode is for you.

As parents, we get a front row seat as our children develop and mature. We go through all the highs (and some lows, too) as their individual personalities come to light, and sometimes clash with our own. In this episode we discover how childrens' personalities are shaped and how they are influenced by our personalities. In this second part of our discussion with author and Enneagram teacher Ian Morgan Cron, we delve into how our personalities intersect with our children's and why knowing what motivates us is so important to becoming an effective and self-aware parent. We review the nine pesonalities of the Enneagram and highlight some personality types which may represent a challenge for parenting. Listen as Ian Morgan Cron explains how knowing yourself better can help you to know (and parent) your children better.

Have these days of COVID-19 social isolation taken a toll on your marriage? Is your stress seeping through the cracks? Even though now we're starting to take steps out of 'shelter in place', being in close quarters may have left you feeling distressed over what went down. Author and psychotherapist Ian Morgan Cron is an expert in using the practical personal growth tool called the Enneagram to help people see more clearly both the strength and the shadow side of their personality. It also helps partners develop more insight and compassion for each other. Ian Morgan Cron is passionate about helping people understand their hidden motivations and identify their own next step toward emotional health. Want a close and satisfying marriage - one that holds up during crisis times? Hear what Ian Morgan Cron has to say in this episode.

While forming a relationship with a new spouse is natural and exciting, doing so with your spouse's children may seem more daunting. After all, your remarriage is an arranged marriage for your children. Today's guest brings hope that there is so much potential for positive and life-giving relationships in your blended family. Family therapist, author and speaker Ron Deal offers some incredible insights to help you avoid some of the common pitfalls and help your blended family not only adjust but thrive. If you are entering, or are part of a blended family (or know someone who is), this episode offers you the direction and some practical tools to help you develop long-lasting and loving family ties.

You're divorcing or you suspect you will be, and whether or not your kids will be okay still keeps you up at night. If that's you or someone you're close to, don't miss today's episode. Dr. JoAnne Pedro-Carroll has spent decades of her career working with and researching the responses of kids to divorce and advising parents on wise ways to help them adjust. She has an enormous respect for parents who have done the hard work to do such things as overcome conflict, become civil and caring toward each other as exes, and maintain strong, loving ties with their kids. As she points out, kids have common fears such as whether their parents will still love them, or whether they caused the divorce. She unpacks for us the approaches and messages parents can adopt to avoid putting their kids in the middle.

Is it hard for you and your partner to talk about money or budgeting without getting into an argument? Have you had so much tension you just don't talk about it anymore? Our guest Shaunti Feldhahn, social researcher, author and speaker, has a lot to say to shine some light on the issues running under the surface of couples' money woes. She sums it up like this: "It's not about the money". In this episode, Dr. Rob, Toni and Shaunti talk about the common factors you may not be fully aware of, that trip up the vast majority of couples when it comes to managing their finances together.