Conflict Skills

In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast we're diving deeper into the intricate world of cohabitation conflicts. We've all been there—sharing a space with someone can sometimes lead to tension and disagreement. Whether it's over chores, finances, or personal values, finding the right way to address these issues is crucial for maintaining a peaceful home and healthy relationships. Now, I'm here to guide you through various strategies and insights to help you navigate these choppy waters. We'll discuss the importance of respectful communication, balancing friendliness with not sweeping problems under the rug, and preparing for a range of reactions from your housemates. We'll also stress the significance of self-awareness, regulation, empathy, and establishing firm boundaries. We'll parse through the five types of conflict—relationship, data, structure, interest, and values—all of which can show up in shared living situations. I'll provide you with practical solutions to these challenges—such as keeping records of important discussions, creating shared routines, and addressing behavior over beliefs when dealing with values conflict. Remember, these strategies might not be one-size-fits-all magic bullets. Sometimes, multiple conversations are needed to truly clear the air and move forward. But fear not, because with patience, an open mind, and the tools we discuss today, you'll be better equipped to turn your living situation into a more harmonious one. So, whether you're dealing with a high-conflict personality or trying to mend a fraying relationship, stay tuned. And don't forget, if you find our content helpful, please leave us a positive review and hit that subscribe button for more resources on mastering the art of conflict resolution in every facet of your life. Now, let’s get into it.

In Podcast 41, "How To Rise Above Conflict," host Simon Goode explores the mental processes involved in conflict resolution, using the funnel analogy to discuss the importance of detailed focus and expanding perspective. He delves into self-awareness concerning physical sensations and emotions, highlighting the need to manage the nervous system and reflect on reciprocal spiral patterns to effectively rise above and manage conflicts. Goode also encourages listeners to engage with the podcast through feedback and subscriptions, and shares insights from his book 'Waves,' on managing anxiety and conflict.

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast we are unearthing the power of listening and empathy in your organization. I provide a practical framework for helping staff and collegues to feel heard in situations where you want to not only understand what they are saying, but also help them to feel supported. Hint: it's not saying, "I understand"..... and it's certainly not saying "I understand, but........ ".

Welcome to the Conflict Skills Podcast! In today's episode, we dive deep into the common workplace issue of managing staff members who don't listen. Host Simon Goode takes us through practical steps for communication and leadership, sharing insights on understanding different types of conflicts, strategies for influencing behavior, and implementing tools to empower staff members. If you've ever struggled with unresponsive team members, then this episode is a must-listen. Simon's expertise will equip you with valuable skills to navigate challenging workplace dynamics. So, sit back, listen in, and get ready to enhance your conflict management toolbox!

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode addresses the increasingly common challenge of dealing with aggressive clients, attributing the uptick to various external stressors. He provides practical advice on self-regulation, using structure, setting boundaries, and assertiveness when managing aggressive client interactions, and emphasizes the importance of validating the underlying needs of the client and practicing self-care to mitigate the impact of these challenging interactions.

In today's episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, professional mediator Simon Goode addresses a common workplace challenge: dealing with rude coworkers. Simon shares specific steps to help listeners navigate and resolve conflicts with colleagues who exhibit negative behaviors. Simon provides strategies for addressing the issue with gradually escalating levels of assertiveness, ultimately aiming for a positive resolution. Tune in to gain valuable insights and practical techniques for managing workplace conflicts effectively.

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode discusses 3 underrated conflict skills that are effective in various situations. He emphasizes the importance of not taking things personally, remaining composed in the face of adversity, and the unexpected skill of giving 51%. Simon provides practical insights and strategies for improving these abilities, highlighting their impact on relationships and outcomes in conflict situations. Listeners are encouraged to focus on the positive, practice self-awareness, and approach conflict with a strategic, solution-oriented mindset.

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode shares valuable insights and practical tips for navigating annoying family interactions during the holiday season. He emphasizes the importance of managing stress, setting boundaries, and focusing on meaningful experiences while dealing with difficult family members. Through strategies for self-regulation, boundary-setting, and goal-oriented interaction, Simon provides listeners with tools to handle challenging family dynamics with grace and resilience.

On this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, host Simon Goode, a self-proclaimed introvert, explores the challenges introverts face when dealing with conflict. He offers valuable strategies such as the importance of preparation, tools for managing difficult conversations, and the five conflict modes—avoid, accommodate, compromise, compete, and collaborate—that introverts can employ. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their conflict resolution approaches and find ways to navigate conflict more effectively.

In this episode, host Simon Goode discusses managing conflict during organizational change, specifically when the change is outside of people's control. He applies the stages of grief model by Elizabeth Kubler Ross to analyze staff reactions to change, providing examples of shock, denial, frustration, and depression, and offering strategies to support staff at each stage. Simon also emphasizes the importance of clear and frequent communication, empathetic listening, and problem-solving in effectively managing conflict during organizational change.

In Episode 32 of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we explore the complex issue of parent and grandparent conflict, specifically focusing on when grandparents have limited contact with grandchildren. A number of strategies for managing these conflicts are provided, with an emphasis on the importance of self-care and self-regulation before looking at practical communication techniques. Overall, this episode provides valuable insights and practical advice for navigating the challenging dynamics between parents and grandparents.

In this episode, we'll be exploring a step-by-step structure for these difficult conversations, including how to approach the other person's perspective, conveying understanding, and problem-solving collaboratively. This episode is part of a series on repairing friendships, so if you've missed the previous episodes, be sure to check them out for valuable insights.

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we discuss the art of apologising to a friend - to repair a relationship and hopefully introduce a turning point for a more positive direction in your friendship. You will learn the five different types of apologies as well as how and when to use each type.

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we explore the topic of repairing a relationship with a friend. We consider the importance of understanding the subjective nature of relationships and the need for curiosity and empathy in the repair process. Tips on how to approach conversations with friends, emphasizing the value of being gentle, kind, and unassuming while avoiding criticism.

This episode is about how to deal with people who are dominating a meeting you are in. Simon explains the 5 different options for dealing with this kind of behaviour and how to figure out which approach will work best in your situation.

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, we dive into the topic of how to deal with a defensive employee. As a professional mediator, I share strategies for effective communication to minimize resistance and defensiveness. We also explore the importance of self-care and regulating our own emotions when faced with defensive behavior.

Why are we wired to be judgmental? What happens in our brain when we engage in this behavior, and how can we reduce it? In this episode, we'll explore the science behind judgment and delve into strategies that can help decrease our judgmental tendencies. Being judgmental towards others can hinder our ability to resolve conflicts, empathize with others, and even influence their behavior. But it doesn't stop there. Many of us struggle with being overly critical and judgmental of ourselves as well. Whether it's berating ourselves for small mistakes or comparing ourselves to others, this internal judgmentalism can have a significant impact on our self-esteem and overall well-being. So, why are we wired to be judgmental? What happens in our brain when we engage in this behavior, and how can we reduce it? In this episode, we'll explore the science behind judgment and delve into strategies that can help decrease our judgmental tendencies. But the benefits of becoming less judgmental extend beyond self-improvement. When we let go of judgment, we free ourselves from constant comparison and criticism, allowing us to experience more joy, peace, and contentment. It also enhances our communication skills, strengthens relationships, and improves our overall mental well-being. Join me as we unravel the mysteries of judgmentalism. Together, we'll explore the research and practical techniques that can help us become more understanding, compassionate, and less judgmental individuals. So, let's dive in and learn how to stop being judgmental about others and ourselves.

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, I discuss meditation. Now, when you try to google search for 'mediation' (as in conflict resolution type of mediation). it always autocorrects to 'meditation' (as in sitting crosslegged chanting etc.). So even though I always described myself as a mediator, I suspect the universe misinterpreted and I've become a mediator! In this episode of the podcast, I take a slightly different approach to usual. I wanted to share my experience mediating as I wish I knew what to expect or the different techniques that worked when I started. Meditating regularly has been really helpful for me and I hope that this podcast gives you anther option to consider trying it yourself - and get all of the benefits and challenges that come with it. In the podcast I discuss the progress of development so far, including additional self-awareness, self-regulation, and taking control of one's thoughts and emotions in managing conflicts and improving relationships.

In this episode I discuss the approach I take to reflective practice. This is an incredibly helpful tool to prevent the buildup of negative impact for yourself as well as helping you clarify how to respond to a situation (rather than just reacting). I talk about a personal conflict situation and how I apply this framework to resolve negative thought patterns and figure out a plan for moving forward. This will help you to apply the tools to your own situation and, hopefully, help shift things in the right direction.

In today's episode, we'll be diving into the topic of how to stop ruminating and intrusive thoughts. We all know how overwhelming it can be when our minds get stuck on thoughts about the past or worries about the future. But there are strategies we can use to regain control and bring ourselves back to the present moment. Join me as I share some powerful techniques to help you break free from the cycle of rumination and find peace of mind. So, if you're ready to defrag your thought process and reclaim your mental well-being, then let's get started on this journey together.

Learn techniques to calm someone down when are in fight or flight mode. In this podcast I provide a practical framework for de-escalation that can be used in work, family or other conflicts.

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, I discuss the challenges and stress of managing conflicts between two staff members. I provide a practical framework that can be used as an outline for approaching the conversation. By naming the issue, empathizing, coaching, and following through, managers can effectively address conflicts and promote a healthier working relationship within their team.

In episode 20 of the Conflict Skills podcast, professional mediator Simon Goode discusses effective strategies for dealing with toxic people at work. He emphasizes the importance of empathy and boundaries when interacting with these individuals, highlighting the need for self-awareness and self-care to mitigate the negative impact they can have. Through understanding the underlying causes of toxic behavior and providing a space for expression, listeners are guided on how to defuse tense situations and potentially foster growth and change in toxic individuals.

In this episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, join host Simon Goode as he explores the delicate art of disagreeing with your boss. Tune in to discover practical tips and strategies for navigating these challenging conversations while maintaining professionalism and fostering productive outcomes.

In this episode I answer a common question - "How can I feel more confident dealing with conflict". Our feelings are connected to our thoughts and behaviour, and I discuss a number of strategies for changing how we feel by leveraging our thoughts (the story we tell our selves, our expectations, our sense of responsibility for an issue) and our behaviour (self-care, preparing for conflict etc.). I discuss the way feelings work and why we have them, as well as the two major levers for influencing our

In this episode, I talk about how to give an ultimatum effectively. This is an effective way of dealing with problematic behaviour in an assertive way whilst minimising the chance of defensiveness and resistance. The approach I suggest can be used in workplace conflict as well as in parenting relationships or other personal conflict situations. Of course, you can't control the behaviour of the other person, but responding in a strategic way rather than reacting means that you increase the changes of a positive outcome.

In this episode of the podcast, I talk about how to deal with a situation where someone keeps using their phone inappropriately at work. This is a common challenges for a lot of businesses and as people continue to become more addicted to their phones, it will likely not be something that goes away any time soon. When staff are using their phone at work it can create a range of issues, from declines in productivity , increasing errors, it can impact communication and team performance and also give customers a negative impression. I explain how to analyse a conflict situation and deal with someone using their phone in a candid and direct way, gradually escalating the level of assertiveness that is used.

In this episode I discuss how to confront someone making negative comments.

In this episode I respond to a question that I was sent by a listener. The situation involves someone acting as Team Leader, which is always a challenging situation as you move into a position of authority with people who were previously your peers. It's particularly challenging when this is a temporary situation and you will return to your former role in the future. I discuss some of the ways that we can set up a conversation to discuss what is going on, but to do so in a non-threatening way. This often helps to keep the conversation contained when discussing the past and shift the focus from the past to the future, from problem to solution.

In this episode, I talk about why conflict causes us so much stress and a framework to reflect on a situation to gain awareness. I explain the connection between thought, feeling and behaviour and how when we become aware of what negative rumination and emotions are costing us, it opens the door for us to become serious about change. Healing during conflict is inherently difficult due to the fact that we tend to slip into emotional reactions and negative thinking patterns. When you decide that you are serious about feeling better, than using a framework like I discuss in the podcast can be a helpful scaffold to at least help things to slightly improve which then makes longer-term and more effective healing possible.

Many of us have been in relationships that have suddenly gone sour. Your partner seems irritable and defensiveness, your boss suddenly becomes critical and erratic or maybe a friend just seems a bit distant. In relationships these experiences often prompt different reactions from us, which, when interpreted negatively by the other person, can lead to issues getting worse over time. In this episode of the podcast, I discuss a strategic framework for short-circuiting negative spirals in relationships. I discuss how to raise an issue and a process that you can use to release tension, pressure and built up emotions.

Saying 'no' is something that many people struggle with. During Conflict Resolution Training Workshops that I run, it is a common topic and question. People talk about feeling very uncomfortable saying no and worry about the other person's reactions. It's not surprising that this is a challenging area! Most of us haven't had very good role models and even when we are confident about the best approach to take, we have our own emotions to manage! In this episode of the podcast, I discuss some of the practical options that can help you say 'no' in a calm and confident way.

In this episode we explore strong emotions that come up during conflict. Whether this is yourself, or you notice the other person is getting emotional, I explain some practical tools that can be used to reduce the negative impact of strong emotions.

In this episode I talk about rumination - the kind of recurring, intrusive thoughts that are often triggered as a result of conflict. This kind of issue can create a negative spiral and if you've ever experienced obsessing about conflict, you know that it can be very unpleasant, exhausting and make it difficult to concentrate and relax. I explain why we ruminate, including our brains focus on keeping us safe from potential threats. I also outline a number of tools that we can use strategically to help reduce the amount of intrusive thoughts we are having and also minimise the negative impact at the time.

In this episode of the podcast, I analyse a conflict case study and show how we can use different frameworks to understand what is happening and develop options for responding. The situation I discuss is an audio recording from dash cam footage of a driver stopped at the US border and refusing to answer a question about whether he is a US citizen. This type of situation can be difficult to manage in the moment and it's easy to react in a way that makes things worse. I go through a number of options for responding to this type of person, who could be classified as a 'high conflict personality'. If you work in a role dealing with difficult people then you can take the same tools I discuss and apply to your own situation.

The focus of this episode is on how to stay calm during conflict and arguments. In conflict, it it's incredibly common to find yourself with your buttons getting pushed and your emotions start to rise. It may be anger, frustration or in other situations it might be a fear response if you are becoming worried, concerned, even starting to feel a little panicked or overwhelmed. There are practical tools that we can use to remain calm and in the podcast, I explain a number of these. Finally, I also provide some tools and techniques that can be used for releasing the buildup of stress and resetting your mindset. This includes dealing with the physical build up of tension and adrenaline and how to 'turn the page' so that you don't keep having the same negative emotions come up and perhaps even take these into other situations inadvertently. If you have a question, topic or scenario you would like me to discuss in the podcast, please get in touch at podcast@simongoode.com. Thanks for listening!

In this episode I provide some practical tools for being more assertive. Being assertive is an area where many people struggle and a common theme in mediations I run is finding the balance between being assertive and avoiding coming across as aggressive or being too passive. Throughout the episode, I explain strategies that can be used for assertiveness. We will all have a slightly different way we use these, depending on our personal style and personality. Nevertheless, having some tools to add to the communication toolkit can be very helpful to make sure you are holding on to boundaries and being firm when needed, but minimising the chance of triggering resistance and defensiveness in the other person. These approaches can be used in work contexts, such as dealing with clients colleagues or in leadership roles. They are also incredibly useful for parenting and personal relationships as well. If you would like additional resources around similar topics, my website is simongoode.com.

The Conflict Skills Podcast is designed to help you develop the confidence and tools to deal with conflict effectively. My name is Simon Goode and I have been a professional mediator for over 15 years. I've worked with families going through divorce, teenagers in Anger Management programs, organisational conflict between small and large groups of staff and helping organisations respond to complaints from clients. In the podcast, I cover similar topics that I teach when I run Conflict Resolution Skills training with organisations. I have made this freely available here in the hope that it is helpful. Thank you for listening.

In this episode of the podcast, I talk through practical skills to use in de-escalation. I explain the fight or flight response and how it can be triggered. This helps to understand the approach that will be helpful (or not helpful) for helping someone else to calm down. A number of tools are provided, including body language, how to speak and what kinds of things resonate with someone when they are in a heightened state.

In this episode I use practical case study 'conflict examples' across a range of settings - dealing with difficult clients, neighbours, unproductive meetings and even 6yo meltdowns.

Welcome to the Conflict Skills Podcast. In this episode, I explain the 5 different types of conflict, how you can identify each kind and the kinds of strategies that work for responding. I am a professional mediator, and produce this podcast as a way to offer free training for people. My hope is that it helps you gain tools and knowledge that empower you to manage conflict more effectively. I would love to hear from you, so please let me know how you find the podcast and any suggestions for future episodes. Thanks for listening!