Kagro in the Morning

David Waldman is here to distract us from the distractions with some important stuff. Greg Dworkin has all the latest pole news and as you'd expect Donald K. Trump is coming up way short, but today we're talking microscopic. Trump is dragging the party so low that even Susan Collins is in concerning territory. Even Graham Platner is looking pretty Teflon. Gops might be idiots, but they aren't stupid, as they panic about importing beef and exporting diesel. Any Gop in a +15 district is treading water. Trump is W, but less affably asinine. Democrats are playing this like it's 2006. Democrats just can't wait to make it happen either. Republicans are not as enthusiastic. Trump made the US government into his PAC. MAGA podcasters just don't recall this "Trump" fellow… they pose for pictures with a lot of people, you know. Pollsters are usually wrong, but even Trump can't sue them. Donald hoped to have a few press heads on pikes to show off to Xi but he apparently appointed a TDS woke judge who told him he couldn't do that yet. That judge can't make him obey, though, or maybe he can… Anyhow it's another Trump PR victory, and if it isn't, it's JD's fault. "Why do ICE forget to wear or turn on their bodycams?", should be asked by a judge… especially Judge Brett Kavanaugh. A Massachusetts Lesbian bar almost lifted its KN-95 requirement, but patrons really wanted to keep them on. UPS dropped some F-35 stealth fighter parts off at the wrong doorstep in China.

Greg Dworkin is back, and so is the Abbreviated Pundit Roundup! We tried to abbreviate it even more today, but only partially succeeded. How bad are things getting out there for Republicans? Bad enough that Karl Rove gives me a run for my money with his own Dotard J. Trump impression. Seriously, though. How bad are things getting? Pretty bad! Trump is at another new approve/disapprove low. Not even their usual last minute TV blitz strategy is expected to save them now. Not with early voters. Not in Michigan. Not in Iowa. Not in (certain parts of) Texas. And not in the northern border states, either. And individual candidates are having to find ways to distance themselves from Trump's cratering. Some perhaps more subtle than others. (But that could change!) Oh, and while we're in Maine (because the last sentence was about Maine), have you heard about the Susan Collins corruption scandal? You have, but there's no reason we can't mention it again. Trump's construction and cultural appropriation spree in Washington continues, now expanding to [checks notes...] Ford's Theater. Unsurprisingly, it does so in defiance of local and national building and safety codes, because "I am the code." Hey, you know who else had an "architecture" fetish? We love a good hidden logistics story on this show. And Trump's latest press ban has developed into one! All in all, it was another humdinger of a day for rounding up lunacy and embarrassments. Hell, we didn't even get to Trump's crazy ass speech to the UN!

Shofar so good! David Waldman topped up his atonement over the weekend and returned today, set to talk about lascivious corruption. Lauren Boebert is always ready to lend a hand with a scandal or two or three… several at a time when she's in the mood. Now there's a complaint filed with the U.S. House Committee on Ethics alleging that Boebert had romantic and sexual relationships with three staff members under her direct supervision, paid them to keep quiet, bare-knuckle brawled in bars with them, and then hooked them up with… Matt Gaetz… in Mar-a-Lago. Somewhere, Kyrsten Sinema is blushing. Similarly, Susan Collins... perhaps not "similarly" but we won't be finding that out for certain, now that the FBI has been called off her case. Martin Kao, formally from Martin Defense Group, which was formerly Navatek, might be wondering if his pardon was lost in the mail. Clavicular continues to lay the groundwork for his presidential bid. All-powerful puppet of the last person that he talked to, Donald K. Trump recently banished the free press, but already pines for them, photobombing Zohran Mamdani in New York, while Melania slipped off for a little on the side. Bill Clinton and Barack Obama are semi-privately dismayed.

The vagaries of the lunar calendar has given us a second September Monday away from the microphone, dropping Yom Kippur right at the start of this week. So we'll have to go with a rerun today. I have to begin by asking, "Do you remember the 21st night of September?" Because if you don't, then our September 22, 2025 episode should remind you: David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are out tomorrow for a little R&R… Rosh Hashanah and Rapture. Depending on how that goes, they'll be back on Wednesday! "Autism" was coined in 1911. Acetaminophen was marketed 40 years later. Tylenol hit the market in 1955, one year after RFK Jr. was born... COINCIDENCE? Yes. Just another of the many coincidences that you can point to, that did not cause your child's autism. Not coincidentally, RFK Jr. stock is dropping about as fast as Tylenol's. Jimmy Kimmel is saved by a TACO. Charlie Kirk, meanwhile, is still dead. Not officially a saint, but definitely a martyr for whatever cause a MAGA could imagine. Charlie was a man of steel, just one tiny bit less bullet resistant than Trump but with a heart of gold that Donald will gladly sell to the highest bidder. Trad wife no more, Nepo/DEI hire Erika Kirk discovers that Tyler Robinson was not black, a Dem, a woman or even antifa, so of course she forgives him. Nürnberg vibes filled the air as DJ Stephen Miller spun the hits of yesteryear. Shhh… Donald K. Trump wants the government to destroy his opposition. Well, that's no secret. Trump has wanted that for years. What are you going to do about it, impeach him? ICE breaks present laws and will break any new ones that you throw at them too. Attorneys that don't break laws fast enough get canned in this administration. Don't you just hate Indians and Koreans? No? Maybe you aren't a tech bro. Tech bros hate Indians and Koreans. If there's a particular nationality that you do hate, there's probably a spot for you in this administration. Republicans are beginning to get sick of winning. There's no denying the Trump administration's obsessive attention to detail, at least when it comes to Hollywood-level casting of their cabinet members. Dirty cop Tom Homan should think before ordering the veal or accepting sacks of cash from FBI agents. Good thing he has friends higher up. The US vaporized some more boaters in the Caribbean that they suspect of things. Suspects remain suspects after they are vaporized. Trump suggests that people should hold off on "water fishing" for the time being… maybe take up "fly fishing?"

David Waldman needs some reeeeeeeest! He and we are tired. Sick and tired of winning. David won't be with us for his two favorite holidays, Talk Like a Pirate Day and Yom Kippur, but we are almost certain to return next Tuesday reinvigorated. NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center saved money by throwing out billions of dollars of research, the researchers, and having their unique, specialized equipment auctioned off. DOGE cost-cutting efforts cost the US billions of dollars and millions of lives, and that's just the start. Donald K. Trump will make the US trillions by not buying anything anymore. The Kennedy Center might avoid the shame of having Trump's name carved into it… by being demolished… but even in death the U.S. Institute of Peace's building might not evade desecration. Far-right ideologues have transformed American foreign policy into a tool of private gain and antidemocratic reaction, but once Trump teaches AI to grift for him, he won't need any of them anymore.

David Waldman told Greg Dworkin to go away and come back tomorrow, and he did! Donald K. Trump is not winning and is especially grumpy that Representative Joyce Beatty is a Black woman. That might not be foremost in most minds, but it's been running through Donald's like cyclosporiatic lettuce. Natalie had to print off some Kennedy Center revenge porn to try to cool Trump off, but that just worked him up more. Now, construction barricades are going up as forklifts test the supporting pillars at the Center. Trump believes AI is some sort of hoax, probably created by computers, but Senators on both sides now see AI coming for their jobs much sooner than they expected. Towns that slipped Flock cameras in, are now slipping them back out, while political candidates execute them on camera. They might look American, but they're foreigners on the inside. Gops flee DC chased by Gop Thomas Massie. The Trump administration is having such a difficult time recruiting unqualified, inept attorneys that they might bring back Lindsey Halligan. May the polls always look with favor upon Dems and smite the Gops… but don't rest yet! Gop Maria Elvira Salazar hopped in front of a DC camera to hail Mary. Even Joe Rogan is smart enough to know why Ken Paxton is losing to James Talarico… well, maybe not, but hopefully his listeners are. Canada might rebound from its abusive relationship with America and into the arms of another, or who knows, they might play the field for a while. They better get a restraining order first. Saudi Arabia FAFO, and there's more from where that came from.

David Waldman gets us to the middle of the week, and Greg Dworkin has GOT the polls! Polls really do mean something after Labor Day… Or is that when they become meaningless? Either way, polls are just numbers, a snapshot in time, a glance at the past rather than the future, not a prognostication, no guarantee... but darn it, they feel so nice… Polls don't mean a thing if they ain't got that swing. Even the Gop vote amid the biggest dweebs in 60 years seems to be sliding away from them. A fake $5 thousand won't buy Gop votes, although Sam Alito probably gets more than that. You don't need polls to understand where voters stand on AI & Flock, yet Dems are still afraid to run with that issue. Nonetheless, E. "No-Trump" Hansen found it difficult to be a single-issue candidate. Gop Tom Emmer will sell you ground beef for $2 a pound if you don't mind it's cut with bullshit. Thomas Massie introduced articles of impeachment against Pete Hegseth… 8 articles, 34 pages, over an hour. Massie surprised his Gop bosses yesterday, so it was no surprise when Gops shut the place down today. They were finished rolling Mitch around anyhow. The House passed their War Powers Resolution, again and again, including the votes of a handful of Republicans. Donald K. Trump brokers peace in his mind with Putin and Zelensky. This puts him way ahead of SIL Jared Kushner, who still needs to actually travel and meet with the people screwing him in deals. Saudi Arabia bought every Trump they could find and still have buyer's remorse. Dr. Abdul El-Sayed could not debate one of the loser Gop Mikes, because that Gop Mike is a loser. Rudy Giuliani wanted to debate him but only had the courage to tweet.

David Waldman takes us halfway through September! The leaves are beginning to change, the Senate is wheeling in its potted plants, and the last impeachments of summer flock to DC. Ok, this impeachment effort did not last long. But don't give up on learning your Latin law phrases! As long as Donald K. Trump and crew continue to shock the conscience of (most of) the American people, there will be the need for justice. A federal judge ruled that Donald has to keep his filthy name off the Kennedy Center. Expect Trump to cut a 350-yard gash in it some night soon. Trump's very own Supreme Court can't bring itself to destroy voting by mail… yet. Federal Agents might have broken state laws searching for voter fraud. Elon Musk tries to violate some voting law every day. Trump becomes a little smaller with each passing day. So does JD Vance. Meanwhile, Jared Kushner becomes the world's most successful diplomat, if you measure success with money, as he does.

50 days until the midterms, probably! David Waldman and Greg Dworkin don't spare a minute of the 155 they offer you today to keep you up-to-the-minute on the news. Donald K. Trump guesses that there's more important things in life than being adored, but he can't imagine what that would be. Therefore, he's doing as much as he can to get everyone to hate him. He's doing a fabulous job. Outside of the cult, Trumpism is now discredited, and every poll is a little more blue each day. Of course, the Gop and friends are pitching in where they can. Dan Sullivan retired halfway in his debate with Mary Peltola. Roger Marshall started his debate losing but really got the crowd going with an RFK Jr.name drop. Voters hated Ted Cruz long before Trump came around and will hate him when Trump goes away. Sure, James Talarico is doing great, but you got to give some credit to Ken Paxton and his crew. Texas Gop Bo French seems like he's in a league of his own... though he really isn't. Bo is determined to rid Texas of all people darker than him, and any Jewish people regardless of shade. French finally crossed the line however, by picking on University of Texas football. A Trump Judge™ has partially blocked the Postal Service's mail-ballot rules ahead of the midterms. Donald Trump Jr.'s latest wedding is sponsored by Russian oligarch Umar Kremlev. Russian friends are the best! While MAGA makes the world safe for corruption, The SNP, Sinn Fein and Plaid Cymru UK-exit, just as Donald hoped to see them bow and scrape some more. A gender war has exploded in Utah over the courts, abortion and representation. Gops are solving it by getting rid of the women.

You probably won't believe this, but something super-dumb and un-American happened last night at the fake Republican jamboree, and Trump was the one doing it. But while Trump was busy coercing personal pledges of loyalty from everyone in the room, JD Vance was seeding the New York Times with stories about how he was secretly against the Iran war the whole time. It's probably an eyeliner solidarity thing with ancient Persia. That's my guess. It hasn't cost him his seat at the table just yet, but not so "fortunate," of late were Maria Bartiromo, Joe DiGenova, and Ed Martin. Emptywheel had more to say, in her style, about DiGenova. The Daily Beast, too! Just in time for the weekend, what I think is the latest on the Missouri map morass, plus some more asses (like this one) trying to make it worse, attempting to impeach the Chief Justice of the state supreme court. In the same vein, more ass-wise, Trump's DOJ is threatening state elections officials for not complying with orders rejected by some 30 courts nationwide. All while playing both sides of the fence on mail-in ballots, both pointing to existing "error" rates in ballot processing and attempting to guarantee even more errors by trying to ram through Trump's wish list on ten minutes notice. As with most dumb things, you can't talk Trump out of it, but you might be able to just wait for him to forget. Another Republican has discovered the existence of a problem in the only way they can: experiencing it themselves. This time it's the Trade War on Canada being bad for a "red" state. For your weekend reading: We always knew "temporary" price increases due to the COVID pandemic would never be ratcheted back. But we might not have guessed that the rate at which prices would increase afterward would increase at an even steeper rate.

David Waldman reviews day one of Trumpapalooza. David, of course, saw none of it as no one did. Joining him today is KITM's very own Greg Dworkin. Greg usually tows in a raft o' stories, however today it was a steaming scow of fetid X-links. If you have the time, try plugging each poster's name into Blue Sky and you'll likely get the same post with the benefit of easier sleep tonight. The Gop midterm convention offered the usual homoerotic bible-beating delusions, but there were fewer takers coming in wanting to be taken. Donald K. Trump always saves money on his bribes by only bribing stupid people. Donald wants voters to pretend he's on the ballot, and that's just what the people not showing up were already picturing. Trump's get out the vote efforts are working wonders for the Democratic party. Just ask Ken Paxton, who makes Trump throw up a little every time he has to look at him. By the way, John Fetterman is an irritation, but just not worth the trouble. If polls could vote, they would likely be voting for Democrats. Here's what Texas voters think. Here's what Jewish voters think. It will be nice if the voting works out similarly to the polling. Former candidate, soon to be former Gop Representative, Chuck Edwards got a swift censure kick to the ass on his way out the door. This election, Republicans testify in Democratic ads and write op-eds against other Republicans, even if they are their brother. Trump isn't the only one who hates Ken Paxton. Voters want to halt data centers in a desperate, perhaps futile bid against AI, Flock cameras, and the encroachment of surveillance technologies. Your "smart TV" is an obvious suspect, and you should probably be taking steps right now to make it dumber. Don't worry about your Waymo however, that's just some guy in the Philippines staring at you. A "military aide" is taking the blame for a multi-person error on Trump's Qatari bribe plane. Oh well, it could have been worse, or better. Old school progressives out there who still have little brown diesel station wagons… like me… are still paying their dues.

David Waldman has another show for us this week! What did Delaware? Greg Dworkin won't say. It's after Labor Day though, and everybody wants to know, now that there's little that can be done about it. Who Rhode Island? Helena Foulkes incumbent Dan McKee. Voters demand new names yet prefer old last names on their ballots. Whose New Hampshire? Stefany Shaheen, and Pappas vs. Sununu for the Senate. Dems are messing with Gop Texan's vibes, while Iowa Trump nothing. Misery for Missouri as dueling court rulings leave Missouri's congressional races in chaos. Purcell that! In Kentucky, the state elections officer denying a judge her reelection bid happens to be the guy who gets her job. Donald K. Trump sugared up the ladies on his staff with$45 thousand each… Sorry, not you Susie. Donald leaked a map of his share of the world gifted to him by Vlad and Xi, and it turns out that Thorgerdur wasn't told yet… Bibi knew, though. Bibi has known the whole time. In Germany, the Alternative for Germany ends up being porn, Stasi, and ethnic cleansing, exactly the platform Trump plans to introduce at his upcoming convention.

We've made it past Labor Day! Those of us accustomed to picturing David Waldman in seersucker and straw boater should forthwith imagine him in something more seasonally appropriate. Beef? Is it what's for supper? Sure, technically, but with regulation on the "honor" system, you will have to prove it isn't to get a refund. Germany's AfD party isn't a far-right extremist group if compared to the Gop, etc. Some of the DOJ's components for realizing USPS voting restrictions seem to have been lost in the mail. Once up and running, midterm ballots could be counted within our lifetimes. No hurry, it's not like it's a triumphal arch, you know. Corey Lewandowski managed to sleep his way to the top of the nation's extortion rackets but fell once he let himself become emotionally involved.

We take Labor Day seriously around here. Which is to say, "off." We take Labor Day off. Not always, of course. Which undermines the earlier premise. But we're not not doing it today, so who cares? What we are doing is re-running our September 8, 2025 show. And won't you be surprised by how very similar certain parts of the news still are? Here's what we were up to at about this time, one year ago: David Waldman catches us up on the multiple disasters since Friday. Greg Dworkin catches us up on the multiple disasters since Thursday. Boooo! Trump was booooooooed at the US Open. If they don't want to hear boos, they shouldn't invite Trump. Or Winsome Earle-Sears. Tiny hands, deep throat, Donald K. Trump was an FBI Snitch according to Mike Johnson, the last guy anyone would trust to keep a secret. The Miami Herald and New York Times seek to unseal records on Jeffrey Epstein's estate, while we all know that Jeffrey Epstein and everyone on the Epstein list has been brought to you by capitalism. Zohran Mamdanimentum continues as Americans are beginning to see capitalism about as badly as they do Trump. LG Energy specialists squeezed into 90+ day rotations to set up a Hyundai battery plant in Georgia were caught in violation of that "+" part, were belly-chained and hauled out of the country. The plant they were setting up won't be hiring Americans any time soon, thanks to Karen-Republican Mar-a-Lago wannabe Tori Branum. Don't expect to hear more from Branum but do expect a lot more plants to be shut down. The Department of War begins its Midway Blitz, which is not a war, it is simply a police action. Why do so many Republicans think Trump is more liberal than he is? If people die in Florida because of lack of vaccines, it will be a surprise to Florida Surgeon General Ladapo. RFK Jr. will have seen it all coming, as he always does a year or so later. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists will save lives in the future by ignoring the CDC today. Ironically, the owner of one of the most punchable faces in politics, Scott Bessent, keeps wanting to punch others in their faces. This time it was the quite punchable Bill Pulte and for the same reason as Scott picked ever punchable Elon Musk. Scott heard both were bad mouthing him to Donald. Scott almost took Bill out, back there on the cement slab they have over the White House septic tank. E. Jean Carroll won her judgement against Trump again.

David Waldman takes us to the weekend where he can finally take his nap. You should not rest until you've heard this! Good news! Donald K. Trump sucks so hard that Gops simply can't avoid losing, which means… Dems win! Then what? Be seen attempting good legislation? Or be seen attempting tough justice? Choices! John Fetterman could not possibly care less. His staff, however, cares more. Trump finally found a contractor with the requisite lack of scruples to take over on his reflecting pool. Meanwhile, workers on Trump's ballroom hole might need to assist on the urgent needs of Trump's arch hole. Why is Trump suddenly concerned about the Falklands? Other than the oil, money, and imperial hegemony, I mean. Who knows why the Netherlands wouldn't leave their gold in the United States. Other names in the news: Nigel Farage was on camera in the UK celebrating all the money he made from secret foreign donations, an activity still frowned upon over there. Former Gop Gov Matt Bevin has been arrested. No word on how this affects his movie career. Milo Yiannopoulos has been deported and is the only person sad about that. Eric Swalwell should probably change his passwords.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return with all of those things you need to hear today. We'll probably have midterm elections. They might let us win. Then, we could have more of us than them… which might be a good thing. According to polls, we have the enthusiasms, they don't. We head toward Labor Day, that day that people discover the elections and also realize that it has become too late to change anything. A Republican elections official owns Dominion Voting, literally. Bar codes on printed ballots are bad, because somebody could rig them. Bar codes on mail-in ballots are good, because somebody can rig them. Not that Dems can't do some nice things. Plug-in solar panels are coming to California. Their legislature passed the nation's largest investment in community news. Then there's data centers, a very safe issue to make a very brave stand on, especially when linked to the proliferation of AI. High diesel prices make everything more expensive. David has been enjoying his cheap diluted gas so far. There might be two Jewish presidential candidates for 2028, but only one "Jewish" candidate. Meanwhile Donald K. Trump's war on Washington DC rages on with covering fire provided by SCOTUS. Blue has become the latest casualty. RIP Gloria Steinem, world icon of the feminist movement and inspiration to millions.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have all sorts of new things to tell you and each other! In Florida, Oliver G. Gilbert III wins the Democratic primary. He will now go against Te Brown, who completely denies her resemblance to any wanted posters you might have seen. Dem Annie Andrews leads Gop Darline Graham in polls. It'd be embarrassing if she didn't. The only worse candidate to lose to would be Ken Paxton, so awful and lazy that he would need Texas to ban voting in order to win. Why just cripple voting in Texas? Destroying mail-in voting destroys voting, period. Walmart Moms have been determined to not like high prices, AI, and corruption in government, unlike, well, no one. Democrats are enthusiastic to vote. Ed Markey, older than Trump and/or dirt, is still regarded warmly. Dems are in such a strong position that one could be in a predominate position performing in the weakest, dumbest way imaginable and still not budge the midterms. Mike Johnson can support Max Miller because it's hard to make Gops look worse. Anyhow, it isn't like Max is abusing your family. Republicans blame the backlash on data centers on AI. Be the envy of your neighborhood, put a data center in your backyard! Gops rush to install data centers before the bubble bursts or they lose their job, whichever comes first. Tractors, trucks, trains, ships, and the economy run on diesel. Both parties make the easy decision to move any hard decisions about the budget until after the election. It turns out that focusing on deporting allowed more drugs to be smuggled in. Also, secret employment of social media influencers is an unlawful covert action. Who knew? Alejandro Betancourt made billions after he listed "Conspirator 2" on his LinkedIn page. Canada does not play by either mob, or pro-wrestling rules, confusing Donald, who's suddenly quite interested in bowling alleys, and having taxpayers pay for them.

David Waldman had so much that he wanted to tell you yesterday! Then, he remembered he had a show today that would be just perfect to fit those things into. Former Army Secretary Dan Driscoll believed in the rules, military protocol and America. So much so that he went directly to the President of the Unted States to describe the clear and present danger… Oh well. Sad, actually. a tragedy. Dan wasn't cut out for Pete Hicseth's troll army's crusade against cultures… and every nation in this hemisphere that Russia and China don't have dibs on. The real tragedy is that Dems will now need to tit for tat this down to the gates of Hell. Should "Purcell" apply to the federal government? Why, exactly, should SCOTUS care what you think? Donald K. Trump is set to do anything he can get away with, whether it helps him or not. Any unlocked door, he will go in. The U.S. Postal Service will be destroyed, because, it is right there, also because it will screw the election.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return to help make Mondays less so. Google labels Lake Ontario as "Lake America", so that fewer sheep get lost. Donald K. Trump has some schemes plotted in case the midterms go too blue. We've warned you about all of them, but David's particularly Cassandra-esque prophesy of the "rogue clerk" might indeed come to fruition. Sure, it's complicated, but David likes them that way. Trump, however, is but a simple dotard, who might be planning to do simply nothing, or in the case of the USPS, keeping anyone from doing anything. SCOTUS might apply the "Purcell principle", if for some reason they forget which administration it is. Skip Trump, impeach his money. Is Natalie Harp the Monica Lewinsky Ken Starr Republicans have been waiting for? Are they hoping to make Jon Ossoff… Bill Clinton? Ossoff's opponent believes he is Barack Obama. Red states used to be the safe place to stow awful Republicans. Now the other Gop Mike (Collins) has a fascist twink on his hands. The other other Gop Mike (Rogers) is losing all of the Trump Muslims. It's hard to frighten people with Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed these days when Zohran Kwame Mamdani has look-alike contests in his honor. Jewish voters became Democratic by following their moral compass. Trump knows El-Sayed's lead is fake polling by illegal pollsters, reported by illegal reporters. Military leaders think Pete Hegseth might be leading them to Armageddon, as if he'd have a problem with that. Oh no! First Andrew and Tristan Tate, now Milo Yiannopoulos? Well, they do say assholes go in threes.

David Waldman, star of the Kagro in the Morning show for 15 years running, presents the Kagro in the Morning show. If wanted to attend the Congressional Space Medal of Honor presentation today, you missed it, probably because you weren't invited to that, or anything else Donald K. Trump is doddering to this weekend. That's ok, Donald pretty much ruins any event he attends anyway. Trump claimed a lake in his war with Canada. He can throw it on a pile with all the things he claimed in his Iran war. Canada plans to make this war hurt. Tariffs for one are tariffs for all. Trump has already found someone to blame if Republicans lose the midterms… so have Democrats. In prep for the midterms, the DOJ is hiring election integrity experts, just not experts in improving election integrity... or experts for that matter. The US plans to revoke 200,000 visas. They should plan for 200,000 lawsuits. White House construction almost caused Marine One to crash. That's why we need a ballroom. Hey JD! There might be some fraud down in Florida! 10 million dollars were laundered, cleaned of all culprits, yet all the bucks stopped at Ron DeSantis' desk.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin attempt a follow-up to my birthday show. RIP Tim Curry, an actor of incredible range… He even did the rock! If one allows improperly credentialed astrologers to post crap astrology, it diminishes the trust we all have in predictive artists, although some will assert that we now need more rather than fewer. For instance, Donald K. Trump loves the polls that love him, even as those polls are becoming harder to find. MAGAs don't want their Gops taking their cushion. A Gop going against Jon Ossoff in Georgia had a staffer who enjoyed swastikas, wearing KKK robes and calling himself a "twink fascist". There does seem to be a lot of that going around. The world's biggest AI data center is being built in Ohio, packing the power and resource waste of several big cities into the footprint of a single large town. Georgia Gop Gov. Brian Kemp loves his data centers and will not let them go. Bill Gates is beginning to feel bad about introducing everyone to their new AI overlords… I told you that if Dems didn't make an issue of Flock cameras, Republicans would, but did you listen? Multiple states will fight Trump's mail-in ballots restrictions. Texas has already suspended more than 1 million voters. Trump figures it's about time for his tickertape parade on his Iran war triumph, after he kills a some more dead guys. If Donald wins a few more wars, they will let him rename everything. If only Canada and others wouldn't make things so difficult! Can you guess what Canadians plan to do with Trump's tariffs and proclamations? The Navy sailor who jumped off the USS Lincoln is now facing disciplinary charges, while a woman raped is told it's a worker's comp issue. Some Secret Service officials must have done something horrific to be placed on leave. IndyCar officials now outrank government employees.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin join the world in celebrating my birthday. When buying me gifts, remember to type the word "KAGRO", because… it's worth a try. A much, much larger part of that world mourns the loss of Dolly Parton. And for good reason, Dolly had a lot going for her. Mourners go across the political spectrum, but it's pretty certain that she didn't. Donald ordered flags at half-staff, as every woman in his orbit for the last 40 years has paid to look like Parton, and as Dolly would tell you, it costs a lot of money to look that cheap. And now Tim Curry too! Many voters feel that there's a "uni-party" and that their vote does not matter. Supporters of Hakeem Jeffries say, "You ignorant morons don't understand the realities of politics and can vote Republican if you just want to be dummies." Maybe we are under the reign of Great Britain after all. James Talarico is ahead of Ken Paxton, according to polls. According to money, too. Jar Head Salsa tycoon/Jan 6 traitor/patriot Tom Smith finds himself nominated for his Michigan House district. Polling shows Dan Sullivan leading Dan Sullivan in Alaska. The Donald K. Trump midterm political convention will be about Trump, as is Lake Ontario, as is the John F. Kennedy Center. Natalie Harp is all about Trump. Pete Hegseth is eliminating every General not qualified to be a Fox weekend host.

David Waldman's not getting any younger, you know. In fact, he's about a day older than he was yesterday around this time, and a year older than the previous time we wished him a happy birthday. Happy birthday! Donald K. Trump wants to watch others lose more than he wants to win and has discovered that allies are much easier to ambush than enemies. Canada is perfect… because Canada is perfect. Perfect ally, everybody likes them, Trump has to ruin that. He needs them to be as miserable as he is, no matter how miserable we get. The weird thing is, Canada doesn't want to play that. They're supposed to take it on the chin, but they're skating in with their elbows up again. That's it… Donald is forced to go nuclear and change the name of one their bodies of water. Anger Trump further and he might come for their Club next. Trump purports to need his ballroom as the lid to his bunker, but looky here, there's an existing bunker only feet away! Maybe no one wanted to tell him about that one … Maybe they were saving that news for a forthcoming book. Goebbels, Campos, and Scavino might know much about art, but they know degenerate quite well, and hope to make a few bucks selling it, although attaching the Trump name to art hasn't been the biggest sell. John Ratcliffe, director of the Central Intelligence Agency, has popped up in Russia. You never know where an opportunity for collaboration can be established. Congress is finally getting mad about money, but holding onto their jobs might allow them to become more understanding.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin bring harmony to the chaos. WAR! Donald K. Trump has done all he can to provoke the most un-provokable neighbor a country has ever had. Now he has a new war to lose that America will continue to lose after he's gone. The US Navy continues to lose its war against Trump. The USS Lincoln sailors finally return home to their families, as long as their families haven't yet been abducted by ICE. Navy families evacuated from Bahrain remain stranded. Any of them returning home to Gary, Indiana will be greeted with familiar conditions. Loudoun County, home of KITM World Headquarters, have surrendered to their data center overlords long ago and might be becoming habituated, but in places like Ohio, the centers are now entering with AI and Flock(ish) cameras and an increasingly abusive and silly police state, which are all pretty much supported by Gops, though less so with MAGA, and hence are a midterms problem for Republicans. Democrats are in great shape… as long as they offer complex solutions to complex issues, never overpromise and above all, remain electable. Once the American public becomes fully educated to understand the nomenclature and internal structure behind government processes, Democrats should be a lock. Meanwhile, Dan Sullivan endorses Dan Sullivan to beat Dan Sullivan, who's no Danny Sullivan. Danny didn't win yesterday's finale of America's glorious semi sesquicentennial celebration but probably would have had if he started on the pole.

David Waldman packs our heads and sends us off for the weekend. Donald K. Trump's imperial push has found a bit of a sticky wicket in Iran, yet his war with the US Navy is going splendidly, with their surrendering the naming of an aircraft carrier to him. What were the chances of Pete Hegseth ever allowing some unknown DEI hire with a CRT name like Doris Miller making some boat woke anyhow? Trump's war on Washington DC is scheduled to make the rubble bounce this weekend with his Grand Prix. Sure, some delicate old stuff might get broken during the celebration, but that's because it wasn't made in America. The event will be followed by the first annual Running of the Bulls through the Smithsonian. Those smarties in Silicon Valley invented AI to destroy our way of life along with the economy but really, any dope with a rifle could do that in 5 minutes. There's fake polling, and there's fake vote.gov, but you really need to beware real government websites, because they're really out to get you. The Department of Homeland Security discovered 16,000 non-citizen voters in Nevada, or maybe 185 "potential" ones. Counting isn't their strong suit, and usually just gets in the way. Trump needs quick money for his projects because if they are slow, someone usually makes him give it back. Trump only stumps in states that clap for him.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin inch open the Thursday news levee. Natalie Harp! How does she do it? How DARE we discuss Natalie banging that stud Donald K. Trump? Hey now! Natalie loves Donald like she would love any top executive, you know… in a "biblical sense"… which of course includes hiding in trunks, sleeping on the floor, and maintaining one's pants and any items therein. Heaven forfend any notion of "wifely duties"! Those, Melania can keep. Pete Hegseth's "Natalie Harp" is his wife, who knows better than to give Pete any leash. Wait a second. Is all this just a distraction from the important issues? Yep, but we have time for those also. Deportations and the economy are losers for Trump, as well as the candidates he is endorsing. Shock! Polls show that Republicans are behind in America's reddest states. Democrats reign victorious in hypothetical matchups, probably across multiple universes. No one wants to read a horoscope written by a false astrologer, and similarly, no one would want fake polling, unless they found a profit in it. The White House has its own fake vote.gov. You don't need polls to know people hate data centers, and the data they center from AI and Flock cameras, because all your friends will tell you all about it. Gops were a little slow on the uptake however because all their friends are investors, yet have recently begun to catch on, from Ohio, down to Texas. America's strategic oil reserve is so low that it might collapse our economy, but if it gets any lower it could collapse the salt domes used to store it.

David Waldman brings us more news and more thoughts about said news. Greg Dworkin brings his Raft O' Stories™, and an economy–sized bag of primary takeaways. In the Florida elections, it was a bad night for bad guy Cory Mills, who had Donald K. Trump's "Complete and Total Endorsement." Trump never did like him, now. Cory was just one of Trump's losers, with various carpetbaggers going down. Florida cleaned house, even the Sarasota school board flipped. Debbie Wasserman Schultz defeated all the black candidates in a new black district, because "electability", yet Angie Nixon beat Alexander Vindman for a Quixotic tilt at the midterms. Vindman losing is the only thing Donald remembers from the night. There was a near-total massacre for the Freedom Caucus in the Wyoming primary, and yet another Trump loser. In Pennsylvania, Dems flipped a Trump 18+ district, which had to hurt more than his ear. Gops need election deniers because Dems are going to be denying them elections. Everybody's pissing on data centers, and you know what, they have a point. Dems are missing a bet if they don't get behind the growing anti-surveillance movement soon. ICE and those who want to persecute anti-ICE are part of Flock's growing customer base. Flock isn't only useful to the budding Stasi agents in ICE, it's a great tool for ICE stalkers, sex criminals and child abusers as well. Compliant Technologies products are perfect for rapists, but also invaluable for those who need a record of someone fighting back recorded to their bodycams. Donald and Pete Hegseth are playing a game of Battleship, and both look like they are winning. Natalie Harp, how does she… Oh man, you do NOT want to know how she does it. The biggest proof that MAGA is a cult is that they actually believe that Trump is having sex with her.

Have you heard the one about the Navy running out of munitions? Have you heard the one about it being worse than the one I just asked you if you'd heard? Well, have you heard the one about how Trump says he was misled about it? If so, you'll be interested to hear the one about how the Pentagon has been warning about this for a year and a half. But maybe you did hear that one. From this show! Well, don't worry, Navy fans! Trump's got you covered. That is, if you consider adding the insanely stupid demand that US aircraft carriers move their towers to the existing insanely stupid demand that they return to the use of steam-powered catapults. Calling Armando! Mork calling Armando! Come in, Armando! It turns out that for at least one "pollster," the "secret sauce" is really The Emperor's New Clothes. Greg wasn't in today, but we've been talking about the CT-01 contest between John Larsen and Luke Bronin so often, I thought it might be worth reading up on at least one report from someone who says they do know what Larsen's been doing all these years. Trump robbed you with his tariffs. You know this. But it's important to point out that those tariff refunds are going to corporations... and no further. That means they were a huge wealth transfer from you to them. And the CEO class, generally. Almost as if by design? You also already knew that Trump threatened all federal funding to Colorado to get Jared Polis to free Tina Peters. But now you know that a federal judge knows it, too. What I didn't know was that Trump has a "Ballroom Goon." And that that Ballroom Goon keeps visiting Putin in Russia.

David Waldman is back again to help us plough through the mudslide of Trump chaos. Greg Dworkin somehow helps by towing in not one, but two Rafts O' Stories™, a plethora of polls, and an excrement of X posts. Polls are often wrong, usually worthless, yet are as valuable as horoscopes when their forecast contains flattery. BTW, Dems are ahead! All over the place! When it's policy vs. "electability", pollsters say their polls are polling great. Data centers poll lower than Thanksgiving. It's Centrist vs Progressive for the Democratic party, which wouldn't be a contest if it was on policy… nor is it a contest when it comes to electability. Gop policy on Medicaid would ruin their electability if anyone were to find out about it. As would their policies about anything, really. That's why Gops are concentrating on electability, especially on reducing Democratic electability, to offset their voters who lost faces to leopards. Gops want to make 2020 great again. Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani 势头! Donald K. Trump's war with Iran is going so well that he's thinking of making the Strait of Hormuz our 51st state. Donald wishes his war would just go on forever, especially for the Navy. It's too bad that the Navy's base in Bahrain was bombed. Maybe if we bombed Oman, it would fix it? Trump remembered that South Korea pissed him off that one time, so maybe he'll just let North Korea rough them up a little. After all, what has North Korea ever done to us? Donald can't have E. Jean Carroll's $5 Million. Shut up, Donald. Trump's mouthpiece Todd Blanche won't shut up.

David Waldman surfs into Summer Weekend Chaos™ on today's gnarly KITM. Donald K. Trump hasn't had a new thought cross his mind in decades. He has spent the last decade perseverating his past into our present. Magnets, how do they work? Don't ask Donald, he wants them returned back to steam catapults on aircraft carriers, as he just knows that they were always meant to be. Only saps say, "You gotta go with magnets!" Finland's president sold Trump icebreaking ships back in '92 and Donald finally has the big, beautiful billions to buy them. Having Trump's name uttered in the same breath as that of John F. Kennedy's is the primary, if not sole, objective of the Kennedy Center Board of Trustees. The Trump administration will never give up on hassling Lisa Cook at the Federal Reserve, no matter what the Supreme Court says. The Justice Department's Office of Legal Counsel is looking towards the future, however, by declaring that Trump can assert executive privilege over any person he has ever talked to.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return with more insights and jocularity. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself… Well, not Dems. They love to be scared of fear. Tuesdays, they desperately cling to polls, while terrified that those polls might betray them once again. Wednesdays, they see that their worst fears have been realized. Thursdays, they discover that it's actually not the poll's fault, it's theirs for valuing "policies and issues" with their candidates, when they should've instead been worried about their "electability"… but then panic as the only method of guessing the candidate's electability are…POLLS!!! Bum–Bum–Bummmm! You never see Donald K. Trump sweating the small stuff, or the big stuff. So what, a few of his staff take a missile for him? Whatever. He made sure all the "10"'s got out, didn't he? Anyhow, he was actually diverting the missiles towards himself in order to save the journalists… and Morgan Fairchild! Yeah, that's it. That's the ticket! The whole point of the Gop is to appoint foxes to henhouses, so you would expect a sex abuser and trafficker to get $244 Million to watch migrant children. Pete Hegseth transferred a contract from a black-owned company to a Trump donor, marking it up 325%. Harmeet Dhillon swore in more than 100 Civil Rights lawyers but then forgot to mention who they were.

Would you like to hear about yesterday's primaries? If so, you've come to the right place, KITM, with the right people, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin, to satisfy all your post-primary cravings. In Connecticut, voters embraced change and sent warhorse John Larson out to pasture. In Minnesota, the primary upended political assumptions in 6 ways, none of which are as fun as watching Mike Lindell (and Trump) lose. Mike, ever the crowd pleaser, plans to lose the election over and over again for the foreseeable future. In South Carolina, Darline Graham and Trump aren't yet losing but are now failing. In Wisconsin, it wasn't quite a progressive triumph, but almost, with Francesca Hong's last-minute plateauing and normie Dems flooding the polls. David Crowley might not like campaigning, but apparently, he seems to love holidays. Almost no one is as normie or as old as James Carville, yet he supports Abdul El-Sayed. On to the midterms, if we can keep them. Every slimeball is spit balling election subversion, including the Wad in Chief. The problem is that people hate trump, which in turn keeps boosting Democratic numbers. Also, election subversion tends to be illegal… as if hatred or illegality ever bothered Trump before. Election denier Cleta Mitchell granted DHS elections official Heather Honey a lot of money. A special grand jury might not find enough evidence to bring anyone to trial, but it will allow Jeanine Pirro and Trump to be incredibly catty. So far, Donald K. Trump has been able to stuff 5 scandals into his "Air Force One" Scandal, but there's always room for plenty more!

While busy with rehearsals and last-minute staging to prep for tomorrow's The G. Dworkin Post-Primary Hour in Review, David Waldman had a few moments to share his thoughts on recent events. Attending the NATO summit in Turkey, Donald K. Trump bailed on his pimped-out Qatari 747 to ride home in his official 747… Psyche! They actually loaded Trump into a catering container (which should be a devastating health code violation) and onto an Airforce jet! The big question remaining is which journalists will go to prison for reporting this? Trump's staggering vanity project cash grab has been exposed… well, another one of them. This one routes national park money into gold-plated helipads and deluxe toupees. Once they were rid of Erik the Red, Greenland believed that the threat of being raped and pillaged was gone forever. Unfortunately, Dr. Phil has come ashore. Could Mike Lindell be far behind? Who knows what stupid evil awaits? Marsha Blackburn won her primary against that ever-present threat of Tennessee commies. Now, like the president, Marsha believes she's entitled to fill her own seat. Trump can thank the appointment of Bob Mueller for taking the heat off him on his Russian ties. With new tactics, ICE reaches a new high in monthly arrests, because they don't have quotas in convictions or deportations. Todd Blanche was sworn in by Emil Bove in the Oval Office because whoever's in charge has a really dark sense of humor.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin return from a chaos weekend that was a little quieter now that Donald K. Trump is getting his pants steamed regularly. Not to say things are "better"… or even "good", it's just that the wall of reality might be rising too high for Trump and Gops to toss feces over. The US lost Trump's war with Iran and also Iran won their war with Trump. Sadly, this happened because Democrats did not clap hard enough. Iran might allow us to retreat, if we retreat from the Strait of Hormuz, yet thousands of sailors and Marines are still stranded on the USS Lincoln. Israel wants no advice from Trump on how they should lose in Gaza. The cost of living, job losses, immigration crackdowns, and data centers will be a big deal for the midterms, but candidate style matters, too. Maine Dem Troy Jackson points out the obvious about Susan Collins, so that even Democrats dumb enough to vote for her can understand. Reality just might catch up to somebody on the reflecting pool fiasco. Jeanine Pirro? Doug Burgum? Nah, and definitely never Trump. Sunlight is the best disinfectant and might have finally removed Andy Ogles. Donald definitely has a type, and Stephen Miller will have Will Scharf competing with him for attention in the Oval Office. Gop election denier Mike Rogers somehow finds nothing objectionable about his primary win yet is predicted to be quite skeptical about Abdul El-Sayed's future progress. Boom! Emptywheel embraces the low-attention span types that she famously eschews in order to describe how the DOJ invoking Trump v. US to protect Todd Blanche's fixer, Aakash Singh.

David Waldman eruditely dumps the Friday KITM at our doorstep. They're takin yer jerbs! Ballrooms, arches, Iran, and ICE will not be making America great again. Not having a job makes buying groceries tougher. The bros over at DOGE wouldn't know that, as they just moved out of their parent's basement, and have no need for real life. 200,000 jobs in Mexico are at stake as the US suspends avocado inspections. The Trump Administration repeatedly admitted in Court to withholding money from Blue States. Yeah, sure, what are you going to do about it? Surrender is close at hand in Donald K. Trump's Iran war as his stockpile of dupes dries up. Iran could take the war to the US water supply, but who cares about that? Russia was hoping to attack NATO after the Ukraine war, but it's just taking forever. Max Miller is putting $1 million of his own money into his campaign. The only election news better than that is that the usually awful voters of Tennessee voted out their unusually awful Congressman Andy Ogles. I bet this is the worst timeline. You can now bet on arson, and childhood cancer.

David Waldman brings us to Thursday, by more or less being at the right place at the right time. The Senate has been busy, finalizing a stopgap funding bill to move the shutdown to hopefully a different Senate. They also launched an entire network of fake news and have only begun to hassle Dr. Anthony S. (Science!) Fauci. Greg Dworkin rolled up his sleeve and reached deep into a slimy cyclosporiatic orifice of ex-Twitter and pulled out some fresh polls for you. They're oh so tasty and probably won't make you sick later. Also, some Poindexter is suddenly ahead of Max Miller in Ohio, which is good, as Miller sucks. Remember, vote BLUE no matter… who now? Abdul El-Sayed? Abdulrahman Mohamed El-Sayed? Well… good thing we live in a post-racial... we don't? Oh well, that name thing sure worked against Amir Hassan, who was backed by Donald Woke Trump. Today, the words "El-Sayed" pleasantly roll off the tongue of lots of happy Democrats, and many disgruntled ones too… who all need to pull it together now to make this happen. Will he win? El-Sayed is pulling his weight, let's see his support. What's in a name? Ask Elaine Luria. No, Elise Stefanik… No, Elissa Slotkin. She's the young up and coming… down and going establishment Dem, right? Now Ronald Lauder. That name used to mean something. But now that he's no longer writing it on checks, who cares? Sean Duffy, like his boss, understands that in the media production biz, getting and spending money is the best part of the creative process. Releasing a product only invites criticism, and who needs that? A few months back, Border Patrol stormtroopers shooting their laser guns into the air were able to hit a kid's party balloon yet were able to rack up more fatalities jamming the GPS of a medevac aircraft. More recently, Marine One lifted off without proper permission but luckily did not need to shoot down any passenger jets in order to do so.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin team up to fight the forces of injustice, chaos, and general stupidity. Has Jeanine Pirro been sent to the bottom of the Donald K. Trump Kafka Khaki reflecting pool yet? Jeanine might have bought herself some time by literally carting over evidence to force the old man to look at before it's shipped to some undisclosed bathroom. Democratic voters are tired of focus-group establishment Dems, and moderate Dems are already tired of crazy progressives. And yet, temporarily arrayed, they could be quite powerful heading into the midterms. Of course, they are blessed with Trump. His usefulness as an idiot is waning with even the Gops, and you don't need to tell independents twice to stampede in a new direction. In Michigan, Abdul El-Sayed outperformed his name, and the establishment, to win his primary. Trump's candidate lost to a guy that stopped campaigning weeks ago. Missouri usually isn't too big on Democrats, but they still prefer democracy. The Kansas Supreme Court would look nice in DC. Texas also embraces voting and rejects phony voter fraud voting suppression. Not that election denialists are going anywhere soon. In fact, some are completely refusing to leave. Republicans are beginning to think that God is rigged against them. Climate has changed to the degree that the Danube River has receded back to the time when wooly mammoths and Nazi soldiers roamed the earth, leaving live ordnance in their wake. Donald was sad to hear kindred soul Max Miller must bear such vicious accusations, but such is the burden great men carry.

More primaries! David Waldman weaves a new KITM ahead of post-primary Wednesday. What's the worst thing Trump can do in the midterms? Well, if Mike Pence has the courage… Why did 50-60,000 refugees attempt to cross into Spanish-held Ceuta all at once? Were they a fake migrant caravan weaponized flashmob manipulated by the far-right? It's uncertain, but MAGA's taking notes, and probably wishes ICE left enough Haitians in Springfield to try it. When some aim high, a Texas Gop candidate aims low.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take on a new day, week, month, and the same old chaos. Donald K. Trump won his 43rd club championship at one of his courses. It's called TALENT, and money. You know Donald. Always bullshitting. You know he is, he knows he is. Leave it there, you're cool, but call Trump on it and you have a fight. Because, admitting he's wrong just isn't part of the game… and not playing along can lose you a job, send you to prison, or worse. Capital One was playing along, but Trump wouldn't walk away, could not shut up, and Capital One quit playing. It made absolutely no difference if Todd Blanche formally rescinded Trump's J6 slush fund, which is why Blanche did it. Gops are playing along with that, but Trump doesn't play along with anybody's bullshit but his own. Dems are strongly favored to take the House, and maybe the Senate. Abdul El-Sayed's name might not be enough to keep voters from scratching in the bubble next to it. Low-turnout voters might not turn out. Indecisive Democrats aren't sure what to do. Gop staff is filling up with young Groypers. The Evangelical Church is filled people who are Christian as an afterthought.

You say "Friday news dump" like it's a bad thing? Not when it's David Waldman and KITM! When Donald K. Trump isn't grifting money, extorting money or panhandling for money, he's stiffing people for money. You can't buy that sort of focused dedication. Todd Blanche could be attorney general today if he'd only pinky promise to never ever implement Trump's $1.8 billion slush fund/slop trough for fellow right-wing swine. At least the slush fund pretended to be a cap. AI companies are the central pillar of the economy, but they are trying to hide a staggering amount of debt. So, when one of their super-genius wunderbros dropped his $45 billion into the toilet, his toilet got immediately bailed out by his AI billionaire brethren. Bailing out their Titanic one stateroom at a time at the moment remains a brilliant idea. I In an idiocracy, not everyone needs to be an idiot, just the ones in control. The United States government map of Africa on display at a global conference was apparently designed without reference material not supplied by Toto. Trump busted Tina Peters out of the pen, she's already paying him back. Biological warfare enters Trump's war with Iran, as usual it's a self-own.

David Waldman has the news! Greg Dworkin has the polls! Voters disprove of Donald K. Trump. Let us count the ways: Lowest approval of either term. Low on his war. Low on his economy. Lowest for independents. Low on white, non-college, males. Trump doesn't have a problem with any of that, but midterm voters seem to care a lot, as just about everyone's polling is tilting left. Of course, the election isn't today, there's plenty of dummies out there, and even Barack Obama can't set them all straight. Meanwhile, Dems like Matt Schultz can't find the money to run against Gops like The Master's Academy alum Nick Begich III. Then there's those Progressives, or Democratic Socialists, or whatever they are calling themselves today, out there disarraying everything, protesting all their data centers and flock cameras… Hippies! If a guy named Abdul El-Sayed can run for Senate, times might be changing… or might not. Maybe they can't figure out the ballot. Ohioans around Springfield can't wait to move into those sweet big Haitian houses and high-pay Haitian jobs that were stolen from them. In the meantime, their old neighbors and friends will just have to die. Either Secret Service professionals actually determined that James Comey planned a hit on Trump, or they just felt like hassling him. Most start measuring the drapes before they get to DC. Trump can't stop. Donald wants to show off his latest several billion-dollar pretty thing he created, you know, the same way bosses always "create" things. It will have the WORLD'S LARGEST GARAGE, and eliminate "mobile lounges", no doubt because their update would have been electric.

David Waldman helps haul in Greg Dworkin's usual Raft O' Stories™, which was light on primaries, but had Plenty O' Polls™! More people like Donald K. Trump less than ever! The fact is, most Americans don't approve of awful people. Most Democrats are not awful people, so this might work in their favor for the midterms, if they can fight their natural urge to disarray. The 2028 Democratic primary calendar favors progressives. Progressives are turning away from establishment media. Democratic voters are turning away from establishment candidates. Francesca Hong seems nice, and smart, and progressive, which seems like a good combo this year. James Talarico is all of those things, plus a few more, and Ken Paxton is none of them. Troy Jackson has, well, a couple of those attributes, which might just be enough. Abdul El-Sayed does not have Troy Jackson's nor James Talarico's name. Ohio does not have all of its marbles, but who knows this year… Everybody is NIMBYing away from data centers, so Trump will probably mandate them for blue states. Trump wants his Supreme Court to overturn his E. Jean Carroll settlement, as it says right in the Constitution that presidents cannot lose lawsuits. Trump has been too busy presidentially thumbing through material swatches for his Dulles International Airport makeover, which just might be the best use of his time.

David Waldman delivers a very Tuesday KITM. 100,000 Flock cameras are watching you, soon to join cameras inside your car to track, monitor, and interpret your every movement, everywhere you go. We all know that if you cooperate with authorities, you won't get hurt. However, some still object to being Flocked without consent, leading those people into rebellious acts against societal norms and authority, symbolizing their struggle for freedom… or they at least become a little more creative in their loafing. Knowingly choosing to violate laws disagreed with works out really well for friends of Trump. Good news also for mentally unstable pranksters. Swatting politicians, especially a gay father like Pete Buttigieg, turns out to be shockingly easy. Florida Senator Ashley Moody has been in the Senate only 18 months and has already funneled millions of dollars through a nonprofit into PACs, an achievement previously only dreamed of by Republicans accusing Tim Walz of doing the same.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to summarize the chaos of the weekend. I, in turn, summarize that into this tiny nutritious pellet for your consumption. The worst thing about White House Correspondents Dinner is that they feel that they have to keep telling us about it. The only news ever is its chronic persistence. The White House press corps could have stood up, but they came to sit down. Donald K. Trump told jokes, explained the jokes, then posted AI explainers of the jokes and the hilarity feels like it just might never stop. Laura Loomer is not Lauren Boebert, Anna Paulina Luna, or even Sid Rosenberg, but if she read it the internet, she would believe it. Once decided, Laura changes her mind less often than Donald changes his diaper, so it's a shock to see her come out for Ukraine. Tim Pool also flips on Ukraine. Must be something in the water. Bold and brilliant military strategists Donald and Pete ran out of ammunition and requested a time out. Pete Hegseth gets rid of generals faster than Vladimir Putin. Generic Dems lead, and Gop enthusiasms are gone, but as the midterms near it is expected that Republicans will be trying to destroy the elections and Democrats will try to destroy themselves. Their enemy, as always, are Progressives. Senate Gop candidate Mike Rogers is rooting for Abdul El-Sayed for a number of reasons, most of them obvious. The thing is, Black voters are also against El-Sayed. Maine has put the recent unpleasantness behind them and are now ready to decide the future of progressive populism for all mankind. The real enemy, as always, are political consultants. Political consultants want to make the past great again. California's primary vote count might have been slow, but 150 thousand voters were slower. People like voting by mail, though. Brazil worries about Trump rigging their elections. Blue state Minnesota burns because DOGE told them to "drop dead". People that Elon Musk doesn't think about simply do not exist… which sure gives you a clear idea of the future of "Universal Basic Income", doesn't it?

David Waldman empties his Pocket, Instapaper, and various messaging apps into today's KITM. Donald K. Trump sharpied out four casualties to his Iran War because everyone knows that deaths don't count when you are on a break. The Keystone DOJ took another pie to the face and will drop their subpoenas against New York Times journalists over their Air Force One reporting. John Solomon's plans to overthrow government for Trump are going badly, which does not mean that they will stop trying or that they will fail. Lindsey Graham died, and Trump grieved over his beautiful lost leverage. Darline Graham seems to have a mind of her own, but they used to say that about her brother, too. Chairman of the Federal Reserve Kevin Warsh picked up a $100 Million starting bonus to guarantee that he remains completely more impartial for some over others. In the latest Boosie Badazz news, the pair that conned Boosie (and others), Jack Burkman and Jacob Wohl, have now signed on a new dupe. Jim Jordan accused Jack Smith of lying. No joke, that's the headline.

David Waldman offers us bite sized tapas of topics today: Olive Garden, when you're there, you're family, but even they demand ID from Republicans. The Tate bros might have thought the US was a haven for rapists, but the long arm of UK law finally caught up with them. Andrew wears capris… not too warm, not too cool. The House is going to try reconciliation, again, to bribe farmers, kill democracy, bomb… Mali, and maybe bring a smile to grumpy Old Donald K. Trump's face. Once again, police demonstrate the ease of handcuffing suspects after they shoot them in the head. Melissa and Mark Hortman's murderer gets a couple of life sentences. He shouldn't expect a pardon; Republicans forgot about him a year ago. Donald raped E. Jean Carroll. 30 years later he was fined… money! Nobody suffers like he does. Canadians will quietly open the Gordie Howe Bridge so as to not set off our president. Good luck on that! It looks like the people who think everything is rigged probably rigged the Presidential 1776 Award competition. Tulsi Gabbard's brother tried to lure kids up to his hotel room with gum and money. Those kids were not as dumb as he might have expected.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin got together again, and all was good and proper for about an hour this week. Well, 'ello, Gub'ner! Trump's Andy Biggs will contest gubernatorially against Cindy McCain's Katie Hobbs in Arizona. Dem Francesca Hong has broken into the lead in Wisconsin. Platner replacement Troy Jackson is ahead of Susan Collins for Senator in Maine with a winning message. Authenticity is so crazy, it just might work. It's now a Dem/Gop dead heat for the Senate in the generic… Of course, MAGA is ready to forgive a lot of Gop sins in their candidate, especially when the alternative is a Commie. Too bad Canadians aren't voting. Gops don't want to talk 2020 fraud in 2026, especially when it's their plan for election takeovers in 2028. Everything Trump touches dies. Or it tries to kill us. Or make others want to kill us. Or maybe wish death upon others. Even death is no escape from Trump assholery. Donald K. Trump art of the dealed the Sauds nukes. Maybe they'll give him something really cool. Trump's Iran war has cost $37.5 billion so far, but Pete Hicseth figures he can tie up all the loose ends for about three times that. Speaking of triple, that's how much Donald Trump Jr's investments in Donald Trump Sr.'s pet causes have increased in value in only months. OpenAI's AI facehugged Hugging Face servers, which is not good, man. The New York Times recognizes Denise Oliver-Velez. Larry the Cat knows how to treat the press right.

This whole week is getting f*#ked up by doctor appointments, man! Yesterday, it was Greg missing the show. Today, it was me leaving early for an appointment of my own. What's next? A dentist appointment?! Well, yes. But at least that one's "after hours." Limiting ourselves to one hour necessarily kept the number of stories covered way down. But things keep happening, regardless! Even if those things are stupid and shouldn't be happening at all! For instance, even though they've now drained the Reflecting "Pool" multiple times, revealing zero evidence (and destroying any that might have existed) of anything that could even remotely be portrayed as the "vandalism" Trump and administration officials keep blaming for the disaster, Jeanine Pirro is stuck for the moment continuing to (appear to) embarrass herself by going forward with baseless "charges." For those who were looking for a reminder that The New York Times still does important work and is capable of "getting it," today's front page story was a lengthy focus on Trump's "One Big Beautiful Bill Act" dropping nearly half a million people from SNAP programs in Arizona alone. And it's just getting started, because Medicare is next. But not until it will be too late to impact elections. Hey, remember that time Trump said he was going to send a hospital ship to Greenland pardon 250 people for America's 250th anniversary year? Yeah, well, that requires work, and Trump people don't do that. In fact, they're doing massive numbers of not doing it. New trend in American sports: If officials rule against you, threaten to call Trump. This should do wonders for the lives of Little League umpires. Anyone wanna buy a statue? Anyone wanna know why no one wants to buy this statue?

Chaos! David Waldman barely made it through today's KITM. Greg Dworkin called in to say he wasn't calling in. Then we lost our live feed because of the wildfires up north in… not where our Maniac in Chief is aiming his napalm, but at our telecommunications hub in Oregon, hopefully not too near to Justice Putnam! Those Trump buoys cause about as much trouble as Those Trump boys. Trump's Qatari 747 is going back to the shop to get "maxed out". Donald will be disappointed that doesn't include gold-plated wire rims. Trump airport needs more money from taxpayers before it begins kickbacks to non-taxpayers. Trump got one more jinx in before the World Cup finals. Donald left a moral stain on the entire event but dropped his biggest stink at Spain's World Cup celebrations, that he wanted to make the Trump celebration. That smell is the kind that lingers but can be scrubbed away with effort. Everyone booed either Trump or Gianni Infantino. Only one of them gives a damn. Somehow, Trump has not completely killed the SAVE act, while Congress and Senate take a few more whacks at it. Lisa Murkowski is more concerned about her state than Trump. There's another Vance today. There goes the neighborhood.

David Waldman delivers us safely to the weekend. Even he is not exactly sure how. It seems like everyone's trying the new "MAHA Blast" featured at Taco Bell and many other participating outlets… often by surprise. Those "Trump Trots" (Or just "The Trumps", if you are really in a hurry) are caused by exposure to DOGE Sh*t. The takeaway on Donald K. Trump's speech last night is to take it far away. To even address it at all is a form of sanewashing. Tommy Tuberville liked it though. Tell it to the judge, Donald. Back to the whole point of Trump's presidency: the grift. Trump promoted companies on Truth Social days after buying their stocks. He is now selling priority access to those stock tips, because why not? The DOJ is dropping charges against the cryptofraudster who made $722 million on the backs of idiots, as game recognizes game. Trump's teleprompter operator made $100K betting on Trump's speeches and that go-getter received a paid vacation. The DOJ also forced a judge to drop the Jan 6 case on Proud Boys. ICE Killer David Brouillette should have never been allowed near a gun and yet was issued one again and again. You need to record ICE atrocities because those guys with cameras there will not be. United Airlines might reroute passengers who don't want to arrive at AI-Slop DJT. Then again, they might not want a visit from the DOJ. Gops in disarray won't be passing their veteran's benefits bill for Trump not to sign. Things are so crazy, even Todd Blanche might not get passed.

Will Donald K. Trump create a singularity of cretinous lies tonight massive enough to swallow the United States, or will this be his taco of all tacos? There's only one way to find out, and that is to listen to David Waldman tomorrow describe the Bluesky posts commenting on those who heard about what Trump said. Don't watch tonight, as you can't get too close… the stupid, they say, it burns. For certain, Trump will not be talking about his federal prosecutor marching on June 6, or the text messages not just covered up, but erased. Greg Dworkin not only hauls in his usual Raft O'Stories™, but talks like a sailor too! A record 58% of battleground voters disapprove of Trump. Dem Haley Stevens is7 points ahead of Dem Abdul El-Sayed in Michigan for Senator. Following the primary, their factions are hopefully to become re-arrayed for the election, or at least hopefully hold each other in higher regard than they would some Gop candidate with the Nazi son-in-law. California's Xavier Becerra is crushing Gop Steve Hilton's gubernatorials. House Gops have pretty much run out of time to pass their reconciliation package. You will not hear the answer to who won the 2020 election in the Senate confirmation hearings. You won't hear the answer to any questions, really. If actions speak louder than words, though, Todd Blanche just might not get the unanimous Gop support he needs to get confirmed. ICE continues to maraud, mauling the rights andbodies of anyone they're unable to get a kill shot on. The Secret Service does not want to be JD Vance's Uber. RIP to local legend Denise Oliver Velez.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are here to box up today's chaos. ICE has announced a temporary reduction in streetside executions. Federal hitmen do not take out exactly the correct people but at least meet quotas. Susan Collins might be a little concerned that this would happen to her, but Trump could not be more delighted that someone handles this for him before he takes the Lugar over later in this term. This Thursday night, Donald K. Trump plans to make this Friday morning more stupid than any on record. IQs might remain at record lows for weeks. John Ossoff knows why Trump is doing this. In Michigan, the Senate race is wide open, although falling into maybe familiar patterns. Minnesota governor's race is falling into a psychedelic pattern. Democrats lead by 26 points among "double haters" because voters just can't find as much to hate them about. $5.6 million goes to E. Jean Carroll. Meh, Trump can clear that in three medium bribes. Too bad for Donald that a unitary executive can't sue themselves or he'd have the USA deposited in the Caymen Islands by now. The art of dealing with Trump is to never make a deal with Trump. It shouldn't take AI to tell you that DOGE used AI to create federal policy. New York becomes the first state to impose a data center moratorium. RIP, Pat Oliphant, IMO, the reason that several generations got into politics.

David Waldman, the guy who brought us "pervert glasses" (Well, not the glasses per se, but the concept of, you know…) brings us the Tuesday KITM: RIP to who again? Congresspeople are dropping like very old flies. Mitch is that one on the windowsill who started buzzing again. Lindsey had done that a few times himself before disappearing into the carpet somewhere. Donald K. Trump noted how much they all were attracted to him, but what's another fly gone, more or less? Graham had no wife and kids, but did have a sister, which is close enough for government work. RIP to the State Department, laying off 1,300 employees in order to create the deep state of their dreams. When all is handled from the top down, there need not be a bottom. The National Guard will remain activated in DC as long as Trump is there, give or take. Who else is there to guard the Lincoln Reflecting Pool/Tractor Pull Arena, the gash of which might soon extend beyond the Washington Monument? Boosie Badazz is still working on his art of the deal after paying Jacob Wohl and Jack Burkman for a pardon. E Jean Carroll finally received the $5.6m Trump owed her, sadly not as a giant novelty check in front of Trump Tower. She can do that for her upcoming big check. Corey Lewandowski, who has never once been suspected of propriety, is once again being suspected of impropriety. A federal judge finally said what federal judges should have been saying, probably since there's been Trumps in the US. Do you think that could be a bump in Todd Blanche'spath to confirmation tomorrow? Nah.

Greg Dworkin helped us round up the chaos of this R -1 weekend. Did you have Lindsey Graham buying the farm before Mitch McConnell? What's the process in South Carolina for replacing Graham? Will Republicans just dip into the loser bench from their most recent statewide primary? Too soon to start thinking about how the Republican Infirmity Crisis will impact the balance of power in the next Congress? Ha ha! Trick question! There's no such concept as "too soon" anymore! Texas may yet escape Republican clutches, with the Deporter-in-Chief always on the ballot. But don't let Democratic successes get you optimistic! It's time to bite your nails about [dramatic music]… Democratic Socialists! In random news: One of those "looksmaxxing" dumbasses is dead now, too. Even though he didn't die, there's a bit of procedural drama surrounding the replacement process for Rigor Tortoise. Remember the time we spent last week on the NATO countries working on making their escape from the US umbrella? Well, it's not just NATO anymore. And speaking of craptacular foreign entanglements, Jared Kushner may have just stepped in it, in Albania. Which borders on the Adriatic.

David Waldman invites you to donate today, before we are forced to call it Donald Kagro Trump in the Morning. It's the weekend, and Donald is… where? Hiding in an Iran-proof bunker? Hitting the links with Mitch? Lying in wait for the Reflecting Pool Antifa? Supervising the White House column restoration to more resemble palm trees as the Mar-a-Lago founding fathers intended? Trump has fired all Democrats with the Election Assistance Commission so that he can relax and get more shuteye during midterm election rigging meetings. The Commie Gas franchise is expanding with 3 new stores in the tristate area. Sign up for their new 5-year plan! If it wasn't for the tedious committee hearings, Kash Patel would be living the dream, brother.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin! Here! Today! Graham Platner has dropped out of the Maine Senate race. Well, pretty much, it's hard to tell. Platner doesn't seem to be much into introspection… which is the mark of a real blue-collar man, amirite guys? Donald K. Trump knew that Graham was a pig, and kindred spirit, the moment that he saw him. Democrats, however, haven't been quite sure which one of themselves that they should blame for this, but do agree it will put them at a perfect advantage once they replace Platner with the perfect candidate that they all can become arrayed behind. Gops wouldn't get in a mess like this, because they don't. Maine has fewer gubernatorial vexations. Mallory McMorrow doesn't have Nazi tats or screw around, but she's out anyhow. Meanwhile, Mike Rogers is a strong candidate. He's the STRONGEST candidate RARR! Trump flew his phony baloney Air Force Oneto Turkey and flew the real one back. After all, what's the point of being safe if you don't look cool? Trump had reasons, which were not believed, to which our Master Prevaricator shouted in retort, "That's simple, I was only LYING!" Kentucky Gov. Andy Beshear wants Mitch McConnell to update him on his health… Ha, the joke's on Andy! At NATO, Turkish President Erdogan handed out guns like party favors. What will Mark Carney and Keir Starmer do? Trump should have no problem, as long as he has enough suit pockets empty of silverware and signing pens. A judge has ordered that E. Jean Carroll's $5 million be released to her. Maybe, she got it today. Federal Judge Emil Bove's verdict is that he luvs Donald. Zohran Mamdani is a "football" fan who will call it "soccer", no problem. He does not like VAR, however. Trump doesn't know what a red card is for, after all, his favorite sport is "ruining things".

David Waldman spoke to Mitch McConnell for about 20 minutes this morning, as he often does to prepare for shows. Mitch would like us all to remember that anyone can be a supporter of KITM on Patreon for the incredibly low price of only $5 per month! Noted anglophile Greg Dworkin reports that noted twat Nigel Farage has been appointed Crown Steward and Bailiff of Three of the Chiltern Hundreds, which sure is one way to attempt to keep out of jail for laundering crypto-pounds. Unfortunately for Nige, this puts him directly in the path of trash statesman Count Binface, Vermin Supreme of the Albion. Texas Gop Ken Paxton is hiding out in England or perhaps has found a new place to vote in the midterms. Either way, someone should quickly appoint him to something. Everything that dotard Donald K. Trump touches dies, except algae, and the Islamic Republic of Iran. There is no going back to our relationship with Europe. Greenland could use a restraining order, although that might encourage stalker violence without proper enforcement. Gops desperately hoping to save the Senate get a breather in Maine. Gops in Congress can enjoy the scenery on their way down. Zohran Mamdani is more popular than Benjamin Netanyahu, therefore, Rahm Emanuel will be Zohran Mamdani, or at least not Benjamin Netanyahu. Trump's kids all wanted an airplane ride… Ok, not his "kids", but his cabinet, but Donald doesn't like to play favorites... Ok, he loves to play favorites. It turns out that rich guys who have run out of things to spend money on, can buy airplanes.

David Waldman returns to KITM up this Tuesday. Party Rock Anthem singer Lauren Bennett, RIP. Republican Senator Mitch McConnell…. well, that drum is still rolling as of press time. Democratic Senate candidate Graham Platner… his political career seems in worse shape than Mitch's this morning. Platner's making some of his supporters look worse than most Republicans, and that's saying something. Capturing the Senate was always a toughie, but capturing the House might become tough if Dems don't get rid of him soon. As always, ranked choice voting is the answer. Does Donald K. Trump steal everything he can get his hands on because he's demented, or because he's a thief? Evidence supports that Trump is a dim-witted bastard, and a vile, contemptible, deceitful, kleptomaniac. Trump Accounts for Kids is, of course, a heist. Everything Trump touches dies, sometimes before Trump can suck the life out of it. The US national men's soccer team now looks like cheaters and losers because of Trump. Gop Anna Paulina Luna wants the Patriot Front white nationalist group investigated for being secret Democrats. MAGA Laura Loomer, I guess, is a different person?

Well, we made it through July 4th weekend! The "Great American State Fair" continued to frustrate and disappoint the weird few who insisted on attending. Or trying to, anyway. Fake "pavilions" filled with half-assed "exhibits" that lots of states wanted nothing to do with. Even so, some were made to look like they were participating, even when they weren't. And the look was not good! All-in-all, we should just be glad they didn't burn anything down. Greg Dworkin was here to remind us that there was plenty of other stuff happening this weekend, anyway. Bribery, marching Nazis, FIFA corruption. You know, the usual. Speaking of those marching Nazis, know why it was so easy to get so many of them into DC on July 4th? Probably because they were already there. Interesting developments in the Michigan Senate race, where state senator Mallory McMorrow ended her campaign, leaving just two main Dem contenders in the race. Where will her voters go? Not easy to tell. They'll probably all turn socialist! But not for the reason you might think: i.e., that they're socialists now. They probably just want someone who'll kick a little ass. And there are a lot that need kicking. Meanwhile, the regular onslaught of corruption stories continued unabated. Along with a bunch of people Trump claimed were jailed for "fixing their cars," he also pardoned (by strange coincidence) yet another Perv-A-Lago fraudster, this time one maybe tied to a wee bit of murder. And just for a bit of semiquincentennial fun, what movies best capture America? Well, hold onto your Uncle Sam hats, because America's Poet Laureate might just be the creator of Beavis and Butt-Head.

David Waldman has got his holiday planned out, but what are you doing for the Fourth of July? Traditionally, you might choose to rebel against a tyrant. Some also may reflect upon God's providence, as the ultimate source of liberty, this year more than ever. After all, He is not just pro-freedom, but very much against rampant corruption amongst a nation's leaders. The Great American State Fair's main exhibit Is Trump corruption, There are however billions of other examples. So many, that Donald K. Trump's handing out souvenirs to his friends and relatives. It's not real corruption unless you can cruise around in a pimped out 747, though. Karoline Leavitt got to ride back in the "library" with all of the "books" that Trump plans to "read" when he "retires". The Trump DOJ waited until only hours remained in their deadline to announce that they would not release any more Epstein files, because it's more fun to do it that way. The Trump DOJ experienced "a rapid unexpected disassembly", accidently releasing volume II of Jack Smith's Mar-a-Lago report to the person they are suing for stealing volume I. A Venezuelan man was accused of attempting to choke an ICE officer to death. As usual, authorities did not anticipate the truth tripping them up, almost as if lying is routine procedure… The National Park Service is no longer required to post truthful signage at National Park sites. Olympian canoeist David Hearn has been indicted for vandalizing the DC reflecting pool because directly contradicting Trump lies is a federal crime.

David Waldman won't be attending the Freedom 850,000 Fireworks this Saturday. He can sweat in the dark in his own living room, thank you very much. To help celebrate our nation's 250th birthday, Donald K. Trump will add one more layer of realism to his World War III cosplay in DC, with Saturday's 15 hours of shock and awe, emphasis on the shocking and awfulness. You can't bring food or water but do pack a gas mask and plenty of spare oxygen. Trump might do a flyover in the new Air Force One, which came in on time and only double the budget, by saving on those gaudy missile detection, countermeasure, security, and communication systems. It would seem that Donald does not put a lot of thought into the safety and wellbeing of others, but how would you explain Trump's executive order on pesticides… other than he just does what the last guy told him? It would seem that Trump is constantly losing, but he'd be gone in a second if that really was the case. No matter how much everyone else loses, Trump and his family are having the best time every minute of every day. You know when Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman of Saudi Arabia feels swindled, it's bad. You can't prosecute Trump's Board of Peace because they have decided that you can't. Greg Dworkin has the latest on the midterms, which Senate Gops still don't have to worry about, because of "math". Then again, that math could change. For instance, a close Senate contest is brewing in Iowa, and Jon Ossoff holds a double-digit lead in Georgia. Phil Weiser defeated Michael Bennet in the Colorado governor primary and who doesn't hope that he goes against Victor Marx? Victor will not say how many people he's killed, nor predict how many he will in the future, and yet he still comes off better than Jared Polis. The Vatican excommunicated bishops of a breakaway traditionalist sect. Now do JD Vance!

It's another Primary Day morrow, and Greg Dworkin brings the takeaways, today from Colorado. Phil Weiser beats stalwart Michael Bennet in the gubernatorial. 29-year-old Democratic socialist Melat Kiros has the Mamdanimentum over old-timer Diana DeGette. Young Democratic Socialist Maurice Brown also has the "Mo". Grumpy old Dems become grumpier. There's more to come. Control of the Senate is up for grabs, but the RNC has control of the $100 million. Sherrod Brown is no young socialist, but he knows Ohio. The Donald K. Trump Supreme Court almost killed birthright citizenship. Gops who hope to murder the Constitution for good, ironically hope that a Constitutional amendment will do it, but first plan to torture it a while. A few Trump losses did slip through, for the moment. E. Jean Carroll isn't waiting around. DOGE installed visitor-tracking software on vital federal websites. Meanwhile, Trump wants a master list of spies, but spies don't want to give Trump the list. If Donald wants it, he can come and get it.

David Waldman delivers us to Tuesday, the first Friday of the week. Clarence Thomas' check cleared, so it's once again time for the Trump Supreme Court opinion dump. It was "a mixed bag" of Supreme Court rulings, in that SCOTUS handed Trump everything that wasn't nailed down by the Constitution, but that they will have to get around to the rest over the next couple of years… Patience, Donald, Stephen, and Laura, SCOTUS always plays the long game. Conservative Justices are "originalists" in that they originally decided this outcome back when they were in law school …or even earlier when they heard their uncle say, "When the first one moves in, there goes the neighborhood". There's "America 250", and there's "Freedom 250". One, Trump skims off of, the other… he skims off of, also. One has "George the Star", the other has ""Manny the Masturbator". (I mean, have you seen Abigail Adams?) Trump has another special gift planned for the 250th, once they melt down enough gold fillings and watches to coat it. Websites designed to "catfish", "pharm", "phish", and… have been installed by DOGE, so what are you going to do about it? Signal is still the administration's app of choice. Mike Johnson will try to pass the SAVE America Act on the back of an upcoming defense bill while he throws together a quick 28th amendment to the Constitution.

It's chaos out there, but David Waldman and Greg Dworkin have got this part all figured out, comparatively. Generic Democrats are trouncing generic Republicans heading towards the midterms, probably because there are fewer "generic" Democrats running for office. Zohran Kwame Mamdani was too smart to become featured in the New York Post swimsuit edition. MAGA are too stupid to step in out of the rain. Donald K. Trump is running out of time to rig the election. Graham Platner has only begun to concern Susan Collins. In Alaska, Dan Sullivan is Dan Sullivan's biggest headache. Trump was indicted under the Espionage Act, which is one of many things you should be able to look into but can't. Todd Blanche's DOJ is violating the Epstein Files Transparency Act and Katie Phang is making him pay for it. Trump is solving Iran like Putin is solving Crimea. Mike Johnson is walking the fine line between compliance and complicity. In keeping with existing Trump guidelines, Bill Pulte has hired a Gop operative who looks like a Fox News anchor, likes to party, but acts like a tradwife (wink!) and really knows how to pad a LinkedIn. Trump is eager to begin work on the East Potomac public golf course before the law catches up with him and stops him.

Before heading into the weekend, there are a few minor issues we need to clear up. One: that weirdo Trump FEMA official is leaving. Which one? The one who teleported into a Waffle House, of course. How is he leaving? That we don't know, and it might not even be worth trying to guess, honestly. Oh, and remember the Shark Tank weirdo who was so sure that anyone opposing his plans for a mega data center in Utah just had to be a Chinese Communist Party front? Well, he's backing off of that one. Which is nice, I guess. Oh, oh, and remember that housing bill that both was and wasn't presented to the president for signature? Well, it's been presented. Again? Maybe? Oh, oh, oh, and remember Elise Stefanik? Well, we'll be rid of her for the time being, but MAGA weirdos are hoping to replace her with a different MAGA weirdo. Oh, oh, oh, oh, and remember the Reflecting Pool? It doesn't really matter if you don't, because it's whole history is going to be made up, anyway. Anyway, it turns out that the only contractor with real experience in dealing with it didn't want anything to do with Trump's plans for it. So they gave the job to Gomez Addams, instead. Looking ahead, at least on a story that's already got a long and checkered past, Todd Blanche and the DOJ might kinda sorta be in some trouble over the Epstein Files. But you know how that whole executive branch accountability thing goes. Though there are still some solid efforts being made at reviving the concept. It's all the more important, given that the leopards who ate the faces of the original "relitigate Watergate" champions are now looking to relitigate Watergate. Are you old enough to remember when ICE was spending like a drunken sailor, buying up every warehouse it could find and trying to "Whydontchajust" them into detention centers? Well, now they're trying to un-whydontchajust 'em (and pin the blame on Kristi Noem). One last thing to stow away for the weekend: the next blossoming scandal has dropped! Trump's looking to exploit LA28 Olympic organizers' need to stay on "the government's" good side by squeezing them for some kind of quasi-affiliated, pre-Olympics golf tournament at his LA club. That's not even a thing! But neither is remaining president while suffering from degenerative dementia.

David Waldman exorcised the audio gremlins plaguing yesterday's podcast, revealing that we had only one, not several Greg Dworkins calling in. (We kept the best one.) Donald K. Trump embarrassed, upstaged and kneecapped his fellow Republicans more than usual yesterday, taking the bipartisan bill on affordable housing hostage so that he could throw a number of snits at Senators trapped in the room with him. Outgoing Senator Bill Cassidy believed for just a moment that the "outgoing" addition to his title allowed him to be intelligent and courageous or something, but he was disabused of that notion shortly. Thus, relieved of testes and testiness, Gops tacoed their previous resolution, allowing Trump to declare more of his ever-popular wars. Meanwhile, Trump has been unable to save SAVE, so far saving democracy. Face-eating leopards have been discovered in the Persian Gulf. That's ok. In ten days, the housing bill will… drat, where did they put that darn housing bill? A Syracuse woman pointed out that Jonathan Ross was that ICE agent who executed Renée Good in her car months ago and that Jonathan Ross will probably never see justice. The Feds hate that being pointed out. Probably because Janathan Ross is their buddy. Gop Tom Kean was not abducted by aliens and cloned. See? He's right here, in a suit and tie, with his wife, smiling, in this doorway. Everything is fine. He will close the door now.

After a decade or so of tweaking, David Waldman is finally getting the hang of the KITM sound system! KITM listeners are the luckiest people on the face of this earth. There were more primaries, so Greg Dworkin stopped by for a while. (He probably would have anyhow, he kind of likes us.) Zohran Mamdanimentum rolled across New York, a huge success, which terrified Donald K. Trump, and of course, every Democratic smoke-blower across the nation. Darializa Avila Chevalier took out the chair of the Congressional Hispanic Caucus. Army veteran Cait Conley is now aiming for Mike Lawler. Swing voters are still mad at Gops about abortion and will be carrying that anger into the midterms, and beyond. Scammers goldrush to sham "progressive" super PACs Trump's name is off the Kennedy Center, and all over his cement swamp. Judges are blocking him here, there, everywhere. Gops join Dems to pass a resolution calling for an end to Trump's war with Iran. And look, Dems are doing something! OK… Donald is triggered. Prairieland is what happens when the weakest people are given absolute power. Dissidents are now receiving life sentences.

David Waldman shakes out some stories to clear the way for tomorrow's primary news. Donald K. Trump draws a strict line on pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. A strict line around himself. Donald might have a fat friend or two that take weight loss drugs, but everyone knows that he wouldn't be that one 79-year-old man Eli Lilly gave compassionate use access for a still unapproved weight loss drug. Trump is in better shape than any president, ever. Just look at him. 22 medical specialists – Twenty-two! – can't be wrong. A judge quashed subpoenas aimed at harassing Tim Walz, Keith Ellison, Jacob Frey and Kaohly Her in Minnesota. Meanwhile, Trump squashed an investigation into his clemency grant to a convicted fraudster. Trump's SAVE voter surveillance and harassment program has been deemed illegal. Sometimes you just have to force-feed Trump his tacos. Over at the John F. Kennedy Memorial Center for the Performing Arts, the Donald F. Trump memorial tarpaulin of shame is still on display. Motions are being filed to remove it, even though it isn't really hiding anything. Peter Thiel secret society members Corey Booker, Ted Cruz, Elon Musk and others have been revealed. Some societies aren't as secret. Jasmine Crockett and James Talarico are not yet on the same team.

David Waldman took another road trip! This time he was FEELING SWELL on the east coast, at what they call ORMOLU. Shop at both, only two more shopping months before David and my birthdays! Greg Dworkin describes how Trump losing his war in Iran didn't just make him a loser, it made everybody losers… but mostly Trump. In other loser news, Ukraine is turning Crimea from an asset into a Russian liability. Keir Starmer won election in a landslide, now he's not even fit to change Larry the Cat's litterbox. Perhaps Andy Burnham will be. Tulsi Gabbard's guru was less Maharishi, more Rasputin. Trump's DOJ has indicted 15 anti-ICE protesters for being anti-ICE protesters. ICE concentration camp Delaney Hall confirms everyone's worst fears, inside and out. The difference between "America 250" and "Freedom 250" is that Trump only gets a cut from one of them, so far. Antifa ninjas evaded National Mall surveillance to gouge a patriotic 250-foot gash into Trump's cement swamp. Trump has ordered jail time for every child who touches pond scum… strangely, never vice versa though… As they say in Italy, "Trump è un coglione". Actually, they say that pretty much everywhere. Believe it or not, there might be a few even worse, right there in his administration. Leopards can't keep up.

Beach day! Well, sort of. I don't think the weather is entirely ready to cooperate, but I'll be nearby the beach in case the weather is better on Saturday. But between packing for the trip and hoping to watch a little World Cup action, I couldn't get a new show recorded for you. Still, I think this episode from one year ago may be instructive, in that it takes us back to the first round of the Trump 2.0 armed conflict with Iran. So it's a chance to see it all coming, which might not quite be uplifting, but like I said, hopefully instructive. Here's how Scott Anderson described the happenings from that morning: David Waldman is back on the air again, LIVE! Greg Dworkin returns, with mega polls! No, not Trump's high poles, but Trump's low polls, along with the latest takeaways from the KITM World Headquarters Primaries… well, Virginia primaries, same difference. Will TikTok TACO Trump chicken out with Iran? We're talking about millions of actual lives here… so maybe not. MAGA thought they opposed such things as "forever wars", but they'll get over it, like their opposition to Russia. It's easy to do when you think about it, and even easier when you don't. You'd think that making conspiracy theorists put up or shut up would put them in some sort of bind, but these are a spunky and resilient group of whackadoodles. Confronted with a tragically factual Christian nationalist assassin, they expeditiously took reality lemons and turned them into MAGA lemonade. Chinese license plates and thousands of cards stole the 2020 election for Bernie Sanders. Not many people know that. Donald K. Trump is objectively bad for America. Journalists are hesitant to point that out, lest their network soapboxes be turned into real ones. Still, with protests, it pays to not give MAGA a seed of truth to roll their dung around. Nonviolence is the way. Then later, we'll impeach the bastard, maybe this term, maybe his third or fourth. Four execs from the top tech companies in Silicon Valley have joined the Army Reserve but probably won't be putting boots down in Isfahan soon or even in the next two weeks. They were of course invited because of their special technological genius. NYC tycoons are saying "There goes the neighborhood" if Zohran Mamdani moves in.

David Waldman delivers us to the weekend! His weekend, maybe even yours! Greg Dworkin is in and out right on schedule to catch the Knicks Parade and pick up his souvenir trashcan. Fat, evil, and stupid Is no way to go through life, and doesn't win many wars either. Unless we attacked Iran in order to provide them with new infrastructure, missiles, nuclear materials and terrorist support, you even might say that we actually "lost" Donald K. Trump's Iran war. Worst yet for neoconservatives, we might not get to attack Iran again for a little while. As Donald might say, we "pretty much shot our load"… Of course, the quicker we rearm Iran, the sooner we can nuke them. This is definitely not what Bibi Netanyahu ordered. Ben Shapiro blames the mean boys for abusing our poor dotard. On the bright side, Trump has been able to keep Ronald Reagan rolling in his grave for more than a decade now. For either one, war crimes don't seem that bad when their memory only goes back minutes. Trump signing off on his Iran war between dessert courses in Versailles might have made it harder for him to taco on it later, but Donald is always up for a challenge, unless it's challenging. The Palace Guard could have helped Trump get up that flight of stairs. Mexico? Cuba? Canada? Greenland? Intestinal or arterial blockage? What will Trump conquer next? Donald probably misses those days when it was just him and Jeff, some roofies and a checkbook. Tacoing out of Iran will be easy compared to the midterms. MAGAs and Gops are getting tired of each other. Dan Sullivan doesn't want to be associated with Dan Sullivan. Urban voters face voting hurdles that just irritate election reporters. Across the pond, Wallace and Gromit head to their polls to rotate out their latest PM.

David Waldman boosts us over the hump of the week. Greg Dworkin's raft o' stories™ include some of his tookaways from yesterday's primaries in Georgia, Alabama and Oklahoma. Georgia had several run-offs, and Donald K. Trump threatens to rally there until someone drops from heatstroke. Trump needs Bill Pulte to dig some more skulls before Jay Clayton takes over. Every department with 3 initials or more will be tasked with rigging and throwing elections. Trump evades assassination attempts about as often as he ends wars. This time, a couple of Nazi accelerationists were thinking of shooting up Trump's UFC shindig but did not count on FBI Director Clouseau showing up. Kash Patel caught them in a steel trap just like the Broadview Six. The DC pool boys dumped every bottle they could find out in the shed into Trump's new cement swamp but will be needing to swing by the store for a few thousand more. Read the 14-point draft agreement between the US and Iran before Trump does! Take your time, Trump will not be getting around to reading anything. "Agreements" are for the other side! Anyhow, Donald is too busy making love to make war. Dotard Donald dodders through the G7. French President Macron invited Trump over to Versailles, where it is hoped that Trump might get to experience the real thing. The Trump family business will now be FDIC insured up to… well, what you got?

David Waldman attempts to catch us up on last weekend before next weekend. Good luck! Sick of winning yet? You would think that Donald K. Trump might be sick of spinning losses as wins by now, but no. Some say that Trump's Iran truce has the "hallmarks of defeat", primarily the hallmark of "not winning", but "losing". But unless you actually read the terms of the agreement, all you have are facts and evidence on which to base your opinion. We do know that now Donald is mad at Bibi until the moment that Trump needs Netanyahu's, Isreal's, Evangelical's, or a donor's support. Elon Musk doesn't need much from anybody yet seems so needy. Elon egged on a race riot in Belfast, Northern Ireland, when he could have just had one Ubered in. Jeffrey Epstein paid a Palm Beach deputy to get special treatment in jail. Everything Trump touches turns into… petty insults and endless lawsuits.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin whoop it up for one thing or the other on today's KITM. Winning! The Knicks win and New York couldn't be happier. Losing! Trump's name comes off the Kennedy center. Trump hides his shame under a tarp while the scheming and rigging continue without pause. Winning!? The US declares victory and high tails it before the many Taco Tuesdays to follow. Pete Hegseth occasionally let Iran win so that the victory would be twice as sweet. It's hard to count the number of losers at the UFC thing Sunday. From airline pilots to US service members. As everything, there was only intended to be one winner. Abraham Lincoln suspended Habeas Corpus during the civil war, so why can't Stephen Miller do it to win an argument or two? Maggie Haberman has another house payment, so we get another news flash. Maybe she was just doing her job. I can't believe this is a news story! Extra-fat butter makes your baked potatoes out of this world!

David Waldman presents Kagro in the Morning, the best investment for your entertainment dollar… or dollars if you're rolling in it. Elon Musk, for instance, could pay several dollars for one of our episodes and hardly feel it. Ah, well, he's done so much for us already. There's the World Cup, if you'd want to see it, or are allowed to see it. Then there's the Idiocracy 250 Gladiator Jamboree this Sunday. It's not a good investment, but then again, you've already paid for it, so a 30 pack of Bud Light might be the only investment you need to make it enjoyable. Even in DC, however, the best sights remain the ones that you can see for free. Bill Pulte has some free time, so tourists can catch him promenading Tulsi Gabbard on her Walk of Atonement along the National Mall. New nominee Jay Clayton will be just as bad as Bill, but is less known going in, so he might be able to get away with more for a while. Trump is willing to forget that he was ever impeached, if we all agree to never speak of it again. Months, and weeks, and days, after its complete obliteration, Iran still has enough energy to bend Donald K. Trump over and art of the deal his brains out, leaving a strong memorandum of understanding on the nightstand on their way out. Once he's done with his Iran excursion, Donald is thinking that he might swing by and overthrow the District of Columbia... and Los Angeles… blue states… Ohio… Heck, make it everybody.

On today's KITM, we bring in David Waldman, who brings in Greg Dworkin, who brings in the latest primary updates and some news summaries, which is perfect, exactly what we needed them to do. There are a bunch of important elections this month, with some big ones yesterday. Going anti-Trump is working out well for Dems, not so much for Gops. Nancy Mace does hate the Trans but was not a true believer in hushing up the Epstein files, so she doesn't even get a participation trophy. Nothing to be too proud of there. Lindsey Graham still had to spend the kind of money some spend on a reflecting pool just to stay in office. On the other hand, Graham Platner ran the gauntlet and came out unscathed even without Kellyanne Conway's approval. Mike Johnson knows that he's never smelled anything like this around Trump. A yearslong effort to woo Trump culminates with the World Cup. Why? Sending Donald cash usually results in a quick turnaround. Donald K. Trump might be getting sick of winning, but he wants to see his arch before he gets too sick. Trump's arch could become taller than the Statue of Liberty, the same way Trump Tower became taller than the World Trade Center.

David Waldman fit a KITM into his Tuesday schedule, and ours! Everybody saw this coming. The New York Knicks won 13 times in a row, then Donald K. Trump touched their winning streak, and it died. Trump was greeted by boos. He was booed while he was there. He was booed as he was leaving. Trump heard "cheering", because he's an idiot or he thinks you are, or both. Trump was a deluded liar on Meet the Press. Are all Gops deluded liars? Are all MAGA? JD Vance and Mike Johnson are here to lie to the deluded. Omar Artan was set to be the first Somali to referee at the World Cup, but won't now, because he is Somali… It says it right there on his papers. Black Americans are moving back to southern states, which is why southern whites are in such a hurry to block them. Virginia was the first southern state to pass an assault weapons ban, which its rural counties won't enforce. JD Vance wants Tim Walz investigated for fraud. Trump wants to transfer billions in Iranian assets to Jared Kushner. Trump says he will not nominate Bill Pulte to be permanent intelligence chief. That's ok, John Thune will handle it. Todd Blanche loves Donald so much that he'll handle anything for him.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin recall the weekend and envision the week on today's KITM. Donald K. Trump burned through 11 layers of makeup before doddering off the set of Hee Haw/Meet the Press on Sunday. Facts do anger Trump but will never stop him. Donald makes it about himself. If he can make America's 250th anniversary all about him, why not some basketball game? If the game can't be played, Trump can stand in the center of the court and bask… in whatever they want to bask him in. It doesn't matter as long as he's being basked. Scott Pelley was at CBS supervising the editing of videos to make ICE protesters look like rioters, when Bari Weiss came along and tried to make him cross his ethical line. Brendan Carr can tell you it is the boss who always draws the ethical lines. Often it is the boss who erases the ethical lines. Anywhere the Trump Supreme Court draws a line, at that moment it is exactly where that line should go. If there was a Purcell principle for Secretaries of State, it was just violated in Texas. Meanwhile, Ken Paxton's defense lawyer endorses James Talarico.

David Waldman's house is on the blink. The basement wiring is frayed, the ceiling skylight is plastered over, and some guy is running around with a chainsaw. Yet, David remained focused on delivering a KITM in the quality that you've come to expect. Donald K. Trump says Bill Pulte won't be his nominee for director of national intelligence… well, not his "permanent" choice, whatever that means. Gops aren't voting for Bill, which means a lot more. Trump's Jan 6 slush fund is dead, dead, dead, but might be feeling better soon. The Senate passed a reconciliation bill without driving a stake through its heart. Now, the SAVE act, that's pretty much dead. So, Trump's description of the War Powers Resolution should be expected to be "wrong, misleading in a way in which it is true, but irrelevant"... and it is all of those things. But what is the War Powers Resolution, and what really sets it apart from your regular run-of-the-mill war powers resolutions? David knows and tells!

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin ponder and elucidate the world's mysteries and conundrums on today's KITM, and probably their off hours as well. As polls go, Donald K. Trump is the loserest. While Trump loses, folks prefer Sherrod Brown even more. Not just in comparison to Trump, but to the palooka he's running against, too. Zohran's Mamdanimentum mounts even after election. People now publicly cheer his political ads! It's Zohran vs Donald at Knicks' Game 3 at Madison Square Garden! Momentum always seems to be heading in the opposite direction of Graham Platner, but he presses on. The Trump Supreme Court gives Alabama a chance to use a map already found to be unconstitutional, which wouldn't seem like something SCOTUS would do, until you remember that they aren't SCOTUS anymore. The Gop House voted for a resolution to end the Iran war, which everyone knows that we won through obliteration ages ago, like Viet Nam. Meanwhile, the Senate voted to finally consider funding immigration enforcement agencies, following their decision to pretend that Trump has given up on his Jan 6 slush fund.

It's one of those Wednesdays after one of those Tuesdays. David Waldman would be delighted to have Greg Dworkin haul in his Raft O' Stories™ anytime, but June's Tuesdays are looking to be extra special. In New Jersey, Adam Hamawy won a 12-candidate Democratic primary and might face ex-Independent ex-Libertarian ex-Independent ex-Libertarian Republican Gregg Mele, a perpetual underdog despite his catchy slogan. California is still counting their many votes, but the name to know gubernatorially is Xavier Becerra. The thing to know in Iowa is that Donald K. Trump is a fat loser and will continue to be both for the foreseeable future. Trump is a cartoon villain who is finally beginning to lose in cartoonish ways. Sadly, this villain lives in the real world with us. The guy that Trump has picked to take over the Department of National Intelligence, Bill Pulte, seems to have entered from a darker, yet more funny, unreality, again, unfortunately all too real. Scott Pelley died with his boots on, fighting for the life of 60 Minutes. Will his CBS comrades fight or hide? Meanwhile, the Trump Supreme Court rules from the shadows again, throwing another election, this time to Alabama.

A true necessity in these trying times: a genuinely comfortable and durable t-shirt. And I know where you can get them! [Ed. note: No I don't! That one appears to be sold out!] In semi-good news today, there is evidence that Trump has been temporarily stymied in the establishment of his stolen $2 billion slush fund. Some are taking that to mean that he's reversing course. But wiser heads aren't so sure. In yet another policy reversal, Trump announces that he's become "bored" by the stalemated Iran "negotiations." This is a minor deviation from his earlier declaration that he could never find the topic boring, and anyway he never gets bored by anything. The dumbest story to actually break during today's show: We're getting an even worse [Acting] Director of National Intelligence. On the upside, he's actually terrible at framing people. What's wrong with Todd Blanche? Everything. Specifically, these 10 terrible things. Remember them, in case there's ever an opportunity to hold him accountable for them. Did pervy dilettante Paolo Zampolli actually introduce Melania to Trump? The pervy dilettante's ex-wife says that's just a cover story. Not that it's important or anything. How awesome are AI tech support chatbots? They're so awesome that if you ask them to give you access to someone else's high profile Instagram account, they can do it! Now that's service! Longtime listeners may remember that ages ago, I applied for Congressional Radio & TV gallery credentials on behalf of Daily Kos. The application was rejected on the basis that Daily Kos was "too partisan," as there were frequently found in its content… links to ActBlue pages [dramatic music]! So naturally, you won't believe the list of conservative partisans who now hold those credentials. Or will you?

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin describe two hours of highlights from the unending parade of stupidity and corruption. Even with all the money coming in from Brawndo and other sponsors, millions in "partner investment" into the UFC Freedom 250 have been unaccounted for. We all know where it's all going, though. The attending audience will represent a cross-section of America's rich and beautiful. Trump got a $620 million deal for his ne'er-do-well sons. He has routed billions to them this year. You got something against a father's love? Donald K. Trump has identified the camel not once, twice, but four successful times in a row, a presidential record that should stand for all time, unlike his name on the Kennedy Center. Trump's drone-proof DronePort might not happen either. Good news! Delinquent credit card balances are 13%! Gas prices are high now, and higher soon! People will be spending money like they have never spent before! Nobody is sicker of winning than farmers, which is why they support… Trump. If MAGA can't afford gas, they'll walk to the polls to vote Trump. Creating a Blue Texas would be as tough as taking Christ out of Christianity, so… pretty doable, actually. In Alaska, all Gop Dan Sullivan has to fear is Dan Sullivan himself.

It might be an uneventful weekend, if there are no anomalies. David Waldman and KITM could be the biggest thrill you get! Martina McBride, Bret Michaels, Milli Vanilli, and scores of other bands and performers that you were dimly aware of decades ago are now bowing out of Trump's "Freedom 250". Groups are vying to sign up so that they too can bail out for the street cred. Kid Rock is still waiting for his invitation. Trump Is spending millions to cover four horse statues in gold before he selects one as Senator at the event. But of course, he did: Trump is having the DOJ launch a criminal investigation on his rape victim, E. Jean Carroll. But of course, it is: This investigation is a major headache for Senate Gops. A judge has temporarily blocked Trump from ladling out slush to his Jan 6 troopers, while fraud charges are being investigated against him. Kilmar Abrego Garcia is not guilty again and again, while probably never to actually go free. Joe Biden has plenty of reasons to sue the DOJ and has picked one. Trump refiles his lawsuit against the Wall Street Journal, because he can. Shhh… Samuel Alito's son has been quietly working for Trump's Treasury department. History's biggest pyramid scheme might not be propping up America's economy for much longer.

David Waldman has more crazy to tell us about. Greg Dworkin has discovered more polls to share. We shall reconvene forthwith. 4.5% of the Texas voting population has spoken, electing deplorable Ken Paxton over deplorable wannabee John Cornyn. That' sa lot of deplorables, enough for a Trump win, maybe enough fora Republican loss. At least that's the dream. Today, the good news is that James Talarico has shaken up the race and gave life to the Democratic cause across the state. Texas Gop money will pour into convincing their voters that they are capable of holding their noses tight enough to vote for Paxton. More importantly, with John Cornyn gone, so is the money and clout that he brought to the state as a ranking Senator. Seniority used to be the path to money and clout in government. Those days seem long gone. To commemorate their departure, Donald K. Trump hopes to pass some illegal tender to the geeks and carnies out in the back yard building a stage for the Milli, or Vanilli concert. Nicki Minaj, Kid Rock and Ted Nugent are too big for this gig… oops, Milli Vanilli ends up locating a threshold of embarrassment. Trump has no threshold. Trump threatens to attack Oman, intervened to score another $640 million for Junior, and $13.1 million for his pool boy. He wants to jail his rape victim, E. Jean Carroll.

David Waldman is joined by Greg Dworkin and his Raft O' Stories, Polls, and Election Results™. Yay! Ken Paxton won last night! Any candidate Donald K. Trump wants is pretty much who Democrats want. Fraud and sex abuse are becoming planks in the Republican platform. James Talarico invites John Cornyn supporters to vote for him. Most won't, but some will, and their votes count just as well. It is doubtful that many embarrassed Cornyn voters will be voting for Talarico, but he needs all the help he can get. Dems understand this and are aiming for more unity and a bigger tent this go-round. Some get that more than others. Al Green got it but has gotten it long enough. Mysterious Meddlers paid through Gop channels are placing fake Dems in primaries, including Texan Maureen Galindo, who is a lot more MTG than AOC. South Carolina's Gop gerrymander might be too late. Alabama's might be too racist. Neither Trump nor his Supreme Court gives a damn. Trump isn't fooling anyone. Everyone knows he's full of shit. That might make lying to your face even more satisfying really, because he can. Trump emptied the Board of Peace cookie jar while no one was looking, not that it was unexpected. Why bother putting effort into peace if it doesn't put money in his pockets? You might remember being assigned Roots: The Saga of an American Family, the book and miniseries in school. Well, Tennessee schools are able to assign it again!

David Waldman catches up after yesterday's weekend catching up. Groundbreaking… more like "spiritbreaking" has continued on the Donald K. Trump Memorial Ballroom-Führerbunker–Thunderdome–Hotel-Casino and Gentleman's Club. Is Trump only in it for himself, or is he… well… there really is no other alternative explanation is there? The world will have to admit that it has never seen a bigger crook. Tulsi Gabbard just couldn't keep up. All stick, no carrot has made Gop Senators less productive than usual as they head to a reconciliation bill right after they pass the previous reconciliation bill. The only one who doesn't want to just pack it up and bug out is the Senate parliamentarian. The United States might have become too much of a corrupt human rights horror for even FIFA. If so, why not Mexico? Meanwhile, Palantir and other tech companies bring us our dystopian future today, exploit-maxxing their Zyn Bro employees by juicing them up with stims.

It's Memorial Day, a contemplative, ruminative, respectful holiday... He's going to either drop nukes or golf today, isn't he? Maybe both? David Waldman and Greg Dworkin reflect upon the holiday, and wax nostalgic on the days that giants strode the halls of congress. Every day is Donald Trump Day for Donald K. Trump. It's easier for him to remember. Donald Trump days will eventually run out though... eventually. They are at least becoming shorter all the time. Therefore, it makes sense for Trump to concentrate on finishing up his bunker. Trump might be the only one who actually believes that this bunker is the only one that he will have available to him. Memorial Day is definitely not the day Trump would want to contemplate his Iran war. Trump would never have had to wage this war if Barack Hussein Obama hadn't committed so much competency. Speaking of competency, that's the one thing CBS would never allow these days or would never allow if anyone competent worked there anymore.

More stuff happened™; therefore, David Waldman made a KITM to tell us about it. The heist was running so smoothly… The DOJ was to pretend to stop a robbery, the IRS was to hand them the cash out the back door… Split the haul, plenty to go around… Then somebody got greedy. The Trump family wanted a cut of everything, forever. That got everyone's attention, so now things aren't so quiet anymore. The Senate GOP canceled their ICE bill vote over it. House and Senate Democrats are doing something about it. Gop Ralph Norman says that Jan. 6 was staged by Trump haters, except for the ones who were convicted of crimes who are heroes. Gop Thom Tillis says he won't vote for Iran war powers resolution and is against the Jan 6 slush fund because it is bad policy, it's bad timing and it's bad politics. Donald hates that nitpicking. John Thune doesn't know what to do, so he'll just go home. There are no cameras where Gop Tom Kean is… in San Francisco, Las Vegas, and several local banks. A federal judge told the White House personnel to comply with Presidential Records Act. Well, some of them. Some you can't tell anything. Federal prosecutors have dismissed all charges against the "Broadview Six," as it was looking like the lawyers themselves were the ones deserving of going to jail. Judges have ruled against ICE 10,000 times. That isn't enough. There is now a nationwide arrest warrant for an ICE agent, and that isn't enough. It turns out that the Trump Iran war was mostly for Israel and is destroying the world economy, who'd guess? Update: Clavicular has avoided jail time for shooting a dead alligator in public… and no, he wasn't "that" happy to see the verdict, those are actually shopping bags full of soup cans in his pants.

The "Clavicular of Podmaxxers", David Waldman, is joined by Greg Dworkin today in mogging MAGA, amongst others, on today's KITM. Jeffrey Epstein! That is why this is all happening, but don't knock the grift. There's Donald K. Trump's patriotic Jan 6 slush fund grift, the $1.776 billion Looting of America, marked down from $10 billion Just for you… and because Donald couldn't get the $10 billion. $8 billion off, and it's still corruption like nobody's ever seen, and anyhow, he and his boys have plenty of time to pick up the rest. That is, if the rest of the gang doesn't wuss out on him, or the cops don't stop him. Gops might drop Trump's billion-dollar ballroom grift, at least a billion dollars of it. There are still the drone-proof drone empire, and the Trump Presidential Spider Hole to grift. And, the Arch grift, which is as the Founders would have wanted. There is also the Trump-Bibi-Iran War grift, racking up an extra $40,000,000,000.08 In gas so far. David discovered a bargain with E15 gas, which might not be a great bargain in the long haul, but his car will just learn to toughen up in these tough times. Democrats could be in disarray, but so are Republicans, the good news is that Dems are used to it. 90% of the Colorado Democratic Party voted to reprimand Governor Jared Polis. Voters generically like Democrats but specifically dislike Republicans. Once they get to know Dems, they might like them better. Trump wins more, even as more hate him. Voters would prefer the Democrats they don't know over Trump. RIP, Barney Frank, who would have had fun, and would have been fun in today's politics.

It's Wednesday, and unless you're Louisianan or something weird like that, that means election follow up. And election follow up means Greg Dworkin. And Greg Dworkin means pundits get abbreviated and rounded up. This morning, everyone's attention was diverted to The Slush Fund. Everyone was talking about it. Even the big time pols, who are supposed to be talking about such things, but often seem to take days to do so. Not this time! Even Josh Shapiro is on it. Republicans are on it, too. Some of them are hinting that they'll run away from it (i.e., the elected ones), while others (the trolling operatives) are already claiming they've formally applied for a payoff, as unlikely as that is to be true. By the way, does the name in the story ring a bell? He was supposed to have turned over a new leaf in life, but it turns out it's just the same leaf over and over. But after that, it was that elections thing I previously mentioned. They happened in Kentucky, where Thomas Massie found out (though he surely saw it coming) that keeping your 2024 campaign promises that were also Donald Trump's 2024 campaign promises gets you kicked out by Donald Trump in 2026. They also happened in Georgia, where Republicans also found out that preventing Donald Trump from fulfilling 2020 campaign promises didn't help, either. Georgia also reelected nominally Republican state Supreme Court Justices on the 2026 equivalent of the butterfly ballot. Anyhoo... Trump's backing got lots of crazy nutbars through their primaries, but getting through November is another story. This story, to be precise. And they've got data for that. After all that, pretty soon we'll get to see if it's the same story all over again, but in Texas. And keep in mind, Republicans who lose their jobs during Trump's "retribution tour" are now free to do as they please. (Unless they're threatened with murder or whatever.) But they still have to choose to show up to do it. On the Democratic side of the ledger, Jared Polis is pretty sure that eventually, everyone's gonna see his Tina Peters commutation as rainbows and unicorns. But right now, people see it as... well, there could be a horse involved. I guess. Israeli and American war "planners" may have given the reins over to the other end of the horse as well, when they hatched this scheme to bomb Mahmoud "I'm a Dinner Jacket" Ahmadinejad out of "jail" and into the presidency of Iran. It did not work, possibly on account of the bomb.

I had such a lovely little summary all written for you! But WordPress frightened and confused me, and now it has been overwritten. Ah, well. This is a list of the stories we used in today's show. If you don't know why we used them, you may never know, for I am not going to tell you, it seems. I did try. But then I un-tried. This is Trump's fault. https://bsky.app/profile/rparloff.bsky.social/post/3mm7esvdyt223 (This is a rundown of why the "settlement" is bullshit.) https://bsky.app/profile/chip.bsky.social/post/3mm7ef5w4e22i (Is there a 14th Amendment problem with the "settlement?" Is there, indeed, a 14th Amendment?) https://bsky.app/profile/paulwaldman.bsky.social/post/3mm6dd46yqc2b (This is the story of one of several child molesters that it is supposed that Trump will pay with his "settlement" fund.) https://bsky.app/profile/atrupar.com/post/3mm7kq6zxj723 (This is Todd Blanche saying he will go ahead and pay him.) https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/san-diego-mosque-shooting-victims-islam-center-suspects-what-know-rcna345805 (The tragic news from out of San Diego.) https://bsky.app/profile/proptermalone.bsky.social/post/3mm6dtafhkk22 (The tragic "response" from "Homeland Security.") https://www.nytimes.com/2026/05/16/business/media/influencers-political-financing-disclosure.html?unlocked_article_code=1.jFA.g0Ia.o7Z55fKtu3Sy&smid=nytcore-ios-share (Influencer payola! "Both sides!" But twenty paragraphs before actually mentioning the main Republican example!) https://bsky.app/profile/beyerstein.bsky.social/post/3mm5vszkuxk2h (That Republican example's previous history of smear jobs that appear nowhere at all in the Times story, for some reason.) https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2026/05/09/ben-shapiro-daily-wire-maga-media/?pwapi_token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJyZWFzb24iOiJnaWZ0IiwibmJmIjoxNzc4Mjk5MjAwLCJpc3MiOiJzdWJzY3JpcHRpb25zIiwiZXhwIjoxNzc5NjgxNTk5LCJpYXQiOjE3NzgyOTkyMDAsImp0aSI6ImUwYjNmMTZiLTFkMGUtNDc2Zi1iZGE3LWI1N2M3ZDE5OGVkYiIsInVybCI6Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lndhc2hpbmd0b25wb3N0LmNvbS90ZWNobm9s (The saga of Ben Shapiro's Daily Wire possibly collapsing under the weight of its own hubris, and also lots of other people's hubris.)

They let Trump back into the country, so it's Chaos Time again! Greg Dworkin came armed with the usual roundup. As we mentioned last week, we've moved from Special Election season straight into primary season. And we had one over the weekend. Who has primaries on the weekends? Smart people Weirdos! Like Louisianans! But there's more to come on Tuesday, and they're reading the early vote ballot selection tea leaves. Even when it's just a primary, it means something when the ratio of ballots selected shifts toward Democrats every single time. And Georgians have more than usual at stake in what will be, on Tuesday, a final and determinative general (but "non-partisan") election for their Supreme Court, concurrent with primaries for everything else. All of this takes place in the context of record, floor-shattering lows for Trump's own polling. He's losing ground with his base. He's losing ground with his coalition. He's losing ground on his issues. But there are still enough Republican primary voters to turn things his way in these early contests. Not that that doesn't cost him ground, too. Because yes, small though the number may be, recoverable Republicans are in fact changing their minds. The combination–mathematically–has got to be enough. So, about that weekend Chaos I mentioned: Jared Polis has done the dumb thing, and though defenses are being offered, it remains dumb. Also generally chaotic: we may soon be adding motor oil shortages to skyrocketing gas prices. And Kash Patel turns out to have probably literally pissed on the graves of our Pearl Harbor dead, thus proving that there is no bridge too far. Further proof: Trump is ordering the Treasury to fill a sack with taxpayer money and hand it over to him. And though that's pretty chaotic, it is actually OK, because he is demanding a patriotic number of dollars. U-S-A! We also caught up on some pre-weekend Chaos. First, the slow-leaking of Trump's humiliation in China, where he accomplished nothing. Second, more public lands shenanigans. By which I mean the ultra-wealthy grabbing still more public things from out of your hands, in order–mostly–to not even really put them in their own, private hands. They just own them in case they remember at some point that they actually have them, and might like to use them. (or not!) Instead of you.

There's always room for a little more travelogue, right? Even when we're not traveling? Don't forget to choose your side in the In-N-Out vs. Culver's war kinetic action excursion! In other travel news, they opted not to sedate the president for his return trip to China. So you can anticipate a full day of Aaron Rupar clips of him damaging national security and the international geopolitical order. Well, if we're not traveloguing all day, then why not start the day instead with some lighthearted accusations of international espionage? It's yet another case of Billionaire Brainrot, as some guy who should have better things to do sets out in earnest to attack... some regular, normal people. Well, some Democrats from Utah, anyway. Why? Because AI profits, of course. Hey, remember when Republicans were just out to "relitigate Watergate?" And then the relitigators had their children's faces eat by leopards? No? Well, never mind, because as usual, we're way beyond that now. This is just the latest entry (but a good one that's worth your time) in the "revolutionary moment" discourse, there's another new data point that drives the theme home in a different way: 50 years after the unifying moment of the entire nation being captivated by the TV miniseries adapted from Roots, Knox County, TN (where a statue of the author Alex Haley stands today) is now banning the book from its school libraries. zOMFG. This may require a brief suspension of disbelief, but I do think we have a contender for Trump's most nakedly corrupt move so far. It was previously a different version of today's story, but the alleged diminution in value from $10 billion to a mere $1.7 billion didn't make it any less corrupt, in the end. (Nor does it preclude ratcheting the corruption back up to $10 billion, or indeed any other figure he'd like to imagine.) Yes, it's the Trump-sues-himself-and-then-orders-himself-to-settle-with-himself case. Only now it involves using the case to "fund" a sort of "victims' compensation fund," where the "victims" are anybody he'd like to give cash to. Oh, you wanna hear about more corruption? OK, fine. Them Duke Trump boys are miraculously always getting in just in time on investments that pay off big when their dad's government make decisions about major contract awards mere days after they buy in to the recipients of those contracts! And this time, they're doing it with a big play in Kazakh tungsten. Which I guess means dad won't be freeing up any Chinese tungsten on his trip. And some people are wondering whether the fact that deals like this always seem to involve defense contracts is the reason why they won't cut Whisky Pete Hic-seth loose. You want a story about dad's own corrupt stock plays? Well, I have one. Does it play into this week's GINA trip? Duh! Of course! His attention span isn't long enough to sustain anything else, you know. What about cronyism, though? Isn't there a corrupt cronyism story today? Yes, but it involves a connection to the other nation of 1 billion-plus, not the one he was visiting. But what about corruption, cronyism and pointless jingoism? Can we get a trifecta? Yes we can, to borrow and completely unfairly tar a perfectly good catchphrase. How about by "committing" to 250 pardons for America's 250th birthday? Definitely going to be corrupt (and crony-licious), because Trump. And by God, 250 of them really is pointlessly jingoistic. We've done it!

David Waldman is fighting a cold while fighting the good fight, hell, you got something to fight, he'll fight it. No beef with Greg Dworkin though. That guy is cool. Donald K. Trump is in 'GINA with his most trusted advisors: money. Listening to Xi Jinping talking Thucydides makes a much more restful naptime than listening to Lil' Marco LuLu Rubio. The Trump Iranian war rages because Fetterman is more MAGA than Murkowski. Meanwhile, Ukraine and Denmark make winning wars more accessible for the budget conscious. Generic Democrats are breaking away from generic Republicans in generic ballots, which is great news, as many Democrats are pretty generic. Listen, if people want someone who believes in causes that they will fight for, Hareem Jeffries will look into that, sure. The Trump Counterterrorism Strategy makes protesters Antifa and Antifa terrorists, while LGBT and Q are qualified from birth.

David Waldman welcomes back Greg Dworkin for all the laughs and links: Samuel Alito cited "fudged data", some say "lied", in order to gut voting rights, as if Trump's Supreme Court needed to lie to gut voting rights. Tennessee won't stop with eliminating voting rights for blacks, any rights will do. Now they did it! Dems are angry now, just watch them do… something! Voters are voting Democratic because there is no way it could be worse. In fact, in Nebraska, they voted Dem Cindy Burbank in (over the fake Dem William Forbes) because she promised to drop out to strengthen the Independent candidate Dan Osborn against the Republican Pete Ricketts. In Connecticut, they are voting out the 14-term incumbent, John B. Larson, to put in the "do something" candidate, Luke Bronin. The Donald K. Trump Iran war continues. The only thing Trump hates more than Iranians are Americans. He doesn't hate Iran that much. After all, he destroyed more US missiles than Iranian ones. Does Donald hate the press or women more? Trump is in China on behalf of world peace and has been so busy with plans to cut the world into pieces that he didn't talk to the press for the 20-hour trip over there. There will be plenty of CEOs to talk with, so Xi Jinping might just let Trum nap. Chinese Communist spy and former Arcadia Mayor Eileen Wang probably could have used a ride back to China, after she pled guilty to acting as an illegal foreign agent.

Day Two back at home didn't feel any more organized to me than Day One, but it was more like a regular show than the past month's worth have been, anyway. I'll take it! The show being as much for me as it is for you, I found myself playing catch-up on the air with the background of the Virginia redistricting situation. We've all heard what happened in the Virginia Supreme Court, but… did it make sense? Would Dems really not be fighting back with all they had? And what did they have? There was at least one pretty seriously hardball suggestion floated, but it seemed to unnerve them, or worry them that Republicans would take revenge. Only they already have. But maybe it's not too let for Dems to do nothing, but in a good way. We also spent a moment catching up on the travelogue portion of the show. We were still on the road over the weekend, you know, making quick visits to two additional National Parks on the way home: New River Gorge and Shenandoah. Which was as good a reminder as any that all public lands–not just the famous or even lesser-known National Parks–are under attack and in need of your defense. Meanwhile, the collapse of American international leadership continues apace. The hantavirus outbreak is the first time in decades that the world couldn't turn to American leadership in matters of disease control and public health, thanks to Trump. But you and I (and the rest of the world) know the problem runs much, much deeper than that. In a classic sign of imperial decay, America has turned pirate. And Talk Like a Pirate Day isn't until September! Meanwhile, as Trump heads to China, they already consider American decline an open secret. I'm sure this visit will go great.

David Waldman returns to KITM World Headquarters from his Great American Road Trip, sponsored by Boeing, Toyota, Shell, Royal Caribbean, United Airlines, Google, and Enterprise… No, wait, that was Sean Duffy, who took 7 months paid time off from Porn Hub to make the kind of TV show that only Kristi Noem and Kash Patel could have come up with. The national debt is outgrowing the G.D.P. Putting a lien on Donald K. Trump's ballroom and arch won't be enough to address his spendthrift ways, and the usual cost prevention method of killing the poor and weak is never as effective as expected. People are sick of all of the defeating we're doing in Iran; we might not be able to stand much more. Orange is the new MAGA, as a presidential pardon won't keep Michele Fiore out of prison or help Tina Peters escape hers. Ghislaine Maxwell is a different story. In fact, fellow inmates can stay in prison longer by just talking about her.