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Haus Touris a new podcast hosted by John and Dakota where we dive into whatever’s on our minds, from drag and pop culture to real estate and everyday life.Some weeks it’s just the two of us, and other times we bring on guests we’re genuinely curious about. Our goal is to give our guests a space to share their story, their work, and what makes them unique in a fun, relaxed setting. It’s less of a formal interview and more like sitting down for a great chat with friends.
- 28 - Settling the Score: The 90-Second Haus Tour Showdown
90 seconds on the clock. Zero middle ground. Absolute chaos. This week on Haus Tour, John and Dakota put their friendship to the ultimate test with a rapid-fire debate episode. The rules are simple: pick a topic, start the 90-second timer, and defend your side like your life depends on it.
Mon, 24 Aug 2026 - 27 - Canada’s Drag Race All Stars Finale with Ultra Violet!
The crown has been placed, the season is officially wrapped, and we are holding NOTHING back. This week on Haus Tour, John and Dakota are joined by none other than local Guelph icon and drag royalty Ultra Violet (@itsultraviolett)! Together, the trio breaks down the grand finale of Canada’s Drag Race: All Stars Season 1, dissecting the final runway looks, the lip sync for the crown, and whether the right queen took home the title. Beyond the finale, Ultra Violet gives us her unfiltered review...
Mon, 17 Aug 2026 - 26 - John Tries to Explain Theatre Kid Culture to Dakota
Class is officially in session, and John is taking on his hardest assignment yet: explaining the wild, chaotic world of Broadway to Dakota. This week on Haus Tour, John breaks down the Tony Awards, recent Broadway winners, and essential theatre lore. But in true Haus Tour fashion, things get completely derailed fast. From the dark secrets of the Jellicle Ball to unhinged detours about Mary Todd Lincoln and theatre kid culture, Dakota gets a crash course in a world he never asked to understand...
Mon, 03 Aug 2026 - 25 - Things That Instantly Ruin Our Mood
We originally sat down with a list of 5 minor things that annoy us... but once the microphones turned on, the floodgates completely opened. This week on Haus Tour, John and Dakota are airing out their biggest everyday pet peeves, petty grievances, and public frustrations. From people in public with absolutely zero sense of urgency to the infuriating things realtors do, bad drivers on the road, and basic social etiquette violations—no one is safe. Are we just getting more dramatic, or has publ...
Mon, 20 Jul 2026 - 24 - The Toxic Psychology of the Love Island Villa
You all loved our deep dive into how reality television raised us, so this week, we are putting a specific show on the couch. John is officially a certified superfan of Love Island USA, and Dakota has absolutely no idea what a "bombshell" or "Casa Amor" even means. From the diabolical drama of Movie Night to analyzing whether Sincere, Melanie, KC, and Aniya need actual psychological intervention, Dakota interrogates John on why this show has a complete chokehold on his life. Grab a drink, boo...
Mon, 06 Jul 2026 - 23 - The Honest Guide to Bali, Bangkok, Phuket, and Chiang Mai
He’s back! After leaving the country, Dakota is finally back from his massive trip to Asia, and he brought home a lot of memories (and a stomach bug). This week, we are diving into his travels through Bali, Bangkok, Phuket, and Chiang Mai. We’re talking about the incredible food, the absolute culture shock, and the exact moment Dakota’s trip took a violent turn courtesy of the infamous Bali Belly.
Mon, 29 Jun 2026 - 22 - Guess That Queen (We’re Back!!)
Did you miss us? The Haus is officially open again, and we are celebrating our return with the ultimate test of our RuPaul's Drag Race knowledge. This week, John and Dakota face off in a chaotic game of "Guess That Queen."
Mon, 22 Jun 2026 - 21 - Reality TV Was My First Therapist
Before we had actual therapists, we had Jeff Probst and RuPaul. This week on Haus Tour, Dakota and John are getting deep about our obsession with reality TV. We’re talking about the iconic blindsides and characters that literally altered our brain chemistry, and why these shows were our "therapy" before we started the real thing. Plus, we’re having a very delusional conversation about how we’d actually handle being in the Big Brother house or stranded on a beach for Survivor. Spoiler alert: o...
Mon, 13 Apr 2026 - 20 - Gay Math: The 5 Minute Lie
This episode is a complete fever dream. We tried to talk about Gay Math—the social logic of time, dating, and "just one drink", and ended up on about fifty different tangents that had nothing to do with anything. John and Dakota are spiralling through why gay time isn’t real time, the math of "ex-boyfriend proximity," and why we’re both completely exhausted by our own brains. It’s messy, it’s loud, and we definitely lost the plot five minutes in. Grab a drink and try to keep up.
Wed, 01 Apr 2026 - 19 - RPDR Season 18: Finale Predictions & The Myki Meeks Mystery
Is it a "Slay" or is it "Shady"? John and Dakota are back to dissect the current state of Drag Race Season 18. From our way-too-early finale predictions to the absolute struggle of pronouncing Myki Meeks' name, this episode is 100% unfiltered. We’re talking about the Top 6, the challenges we’re loving, and the tangents that only happen at the Haus. Grab a drink and play along, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!
Wed, 25 Mar 2026 - 18 - Gawdland’s Drag Race: UK vs The World S3 Finale & All Stars Predictions
It’s Gawdland’s world and we’re just living in it! Recorded just before the finale, Dakota and John are breaking down why UK vs. The World Season 3 belonged to the Thai powerhouse. We recap the season as a whole, share our "Toot and Boot" highlights, and draft our dream lineups for Canada All Stars, UK All Stars, and All Winners 2. Grab a drink—it’s time for some major drag manifestation!
Tue, 17 Mar 2026 - 17 - 2025: The Year of the Queer
This week on Haus Tour, Dakota and John are looking back at the absolute fever dream that was 2025. From Chappell Roan’s legendary Grammy run to the "did that really happen?" moment of Katy Perry in space, we’re recapping the biggest pop culture moments that altered our brain chemistry. We’re discussing our favorite queer icons of the year, the local Guelph vibes, and of course, Smashing and Passing the trends that need to stay in 2025. Grab a drink and join us for the ultimate year-in-review!
Mon, 23 Feb 2026 - 16 - The Haus Divided: The Ultimate This or That
This week on Haus Tour, Dakota and John are drawing lines in the sand! We’re playing a massive game of "This or That" covering everything from Guelph real estate dreams to lifestyle dealbreakers. We’re making the tough calls on what’s iconic and what’s just... not. Grab a drink, play along, and let us know, are you Team Dakota or Team John on these local hot takes?
Thu, 19 Feb 2026 - 15 - Valen-Toot or Valen-Boot?
This week, John and Dakota are back to discuss all things V-Day. We’re "Tooting and Booting" the weirdest date ideas we found online and giving you the inside scoop on how we’re spending our February 14th. Whether you’re boo'd up or flying solo, grab a drink and join the Haus for some holiday realness.
Mon, 09 Feb 2026 - 14 - The Royal Tea: Guelph’s Top 15 (According to the Internet)
This week on Haus Tour, John and Dakota are putting the internet to the test! We’re reacting to a list of the "Top 15 Exciting Things to Do in Guelph" and giving our unfiltered opinions on what’s actually worth the hype. From tourist traps to the hidden gems we think deserve a spot, it’s a chat full of local love, a little bit of shade, and our own personal "Haus-approved" essentials. Article: https://www.tripadvisor.ca/Attractions-g154989-Activities-oa0-Guelph_Ontario.html
Mon, 02 Feb 2026 - 13 - Haus Tour Host Intro - Dakota
This week, we’re turning the mic on one of our own — Dakota! He’s sharing how he stumbled (gracefully, of course) into real estate, what keeps him hooked on Guelph’s local scene, and why helping people find home is more than just a job. Expect laughs, a few side tangents, and maybe even some mild oversharing. It’s Haus Tour — you know the drill.
Mon, 27 Oct 2025 - 12 - Welcome to Haus Tour!
John and Dakota kick off Haus Tour with a fun, relaxed chat about who we are, what we’re curious about, and what you can expect from the podcast—drag, pop culture, real estate, and everyday life, all through our lens.
Sun, 19 Oct 2025 - 11 - All the Tea on Guelph’s Next Drag Superstar
This week on Haus Tour, it’s just John and Dakota talking all things Guelph’s Next Drag Superstar! We’re reminiscing on the highs, lows, and sparkliest moments of Season 1, and giving you the inside scoop on what to expect for Season 2. Full of laughs, local talent love, and a little bit of drama, basically everything that makes this show so fun.
Mon, 12 Jan 2026 - 10 - A Proper Quail-ity chat with The Guelph Humane Society
We hung out with Abigail and Cam from the Guelph Humane Society this week and got the inside scoop on what they do and why GHS is such a big deal in our community. John & Dakota also learned some wild animal facts—like what a quail really is and that porcupines can get drunk off fermented apples (yep, seriously). Want to learn more or support the amazing work they do? Check out guelphhumane.ca!
Mon, 05 Jan 2026 - 9 - Sleighing the Season with Ultra Violet
Get ready for some festive fun on this special Christmas episode of Haus Tour! We’re joined by the fabulous Ultra Violet (@itsultraviolett) as we dive into holiday cheer, drag, and all things Guelph. From holiday traditions to her own sparkling take on the season, Ultra Violet brings laughter, stories, and plenty of sparkle to our Christmas kiki. Tune in for a merry mix of local culture, drag insights, and holiday vibes you won’t want to miss!
Wed, 24 Dec 2025 - 8 - A Proper Drag Race Kiki with Ultra Violet
This week on Haus Tour, we’re having A Proper Drag Race Kiki with local Guelph legend Ultra Violet! We dive into the first four episodes of Canada’s Drag Race, dish on our favourite queens, and get the inside scoop on the Guelph drag scene. Expect laughs, hot takes, and maybe a few surprises along the way. Follow Ultra Violet on Instagram @itsultraviolett and check out her amazing work in the local drag community.
Tue, 16 Dec 2025 - 7 - Lease, Laugh, Love!
In this episode of Haus Tour, John and I chat about the Guelph rental market — what’s going on, what’s hard to find, and some of the trends we're seeing. Dakota also give a quick update on the basement reno (because yes, it’s still a work in progress), and we swap some of the funniest and most chaotic rental horror stories we’ve come across. If you’ve ever rented in Guelph, are thinking about it, or just like real estate chaos stories, this one’s for you.
Mon, 01 Dec 2025 - 6 - A Home Run for Guelph’s Queer Community with Alex
This week, we’re stepping off the field and into the studio with Alex from Queer League Guelph, the brand-new sports league creating space for queer folks to show up, play hard, and finally feel at home on and off the field. We dive into everything: what inspired Alex to bring a queer-inclusive league to Guelph, why sports and sexuality intersect more than people realize, how community changes when everyone feels welcome, and what players can expect when they join. It’s real, it’s fun, and it...
Mon, 24 Nov 2025 - 5 - A Proper Yap with Chase Heaslip
In this episode of Haus Tour, we sit down with one of Guelph’s rising country stars, Chase Heaslip. We dive into Chase’s journey from small-town beginnings to building his music career, his songwriting process, and what it’s really like creating art in Guelph. Chase shares how he got started, what inspires his music, the highs and lows of chasing a dream, and he even performs one of his original songs live on the podcast. Whether you love country music, creative stories, or supporting local t...
Mon, 17 Nov 2025 - 4 - Anne Episode to Remember!
This week we got to chat with Anne Tique Doll — Guelph’s resident icon, chaos coordinator, and queen of making an entrance. We asked her all the important questions: how she became the Anne Tique Doll, what inspires her, and what really goes on in the Guelph drag scene. She spilled, she served, and honestly… we were living. You’re gonna want to hear this one.
Mon, 10 Nov 2025 - 3 - Haus Tour Host Intro - John
This week, we’re handing the mic to the one and only John! He’s diving into how he found himself in Guelph’s drag and LGBTQ+ scene, why community is basically his love language, and how he brings the perfect mix of chaos and charm to Haus Tour. Expect laughs, real talk, and at least one story he definitely didn’t plan on sharing. It’s Haus Tour… what else did you expect?
Mon, 03 Nov 2025
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