Horrible Horror Podcast

In this week's "Why They Talk" episode we finally come to the end of this year's Horrible Horror's March Movie Madness Tournament of Awfulness and crown this year's worst of the worst champion. We talk a bit "Mandalorian" season finale, we discuss just what exactly is a "Deadite" and I guess we also talk about some shitty horror movies i.e. "Beaster Day", "Spring Break Massacre", Midsommer", and "Hereditary"

What do Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Chris Rock, porn, gators and show tunes all have in common? They're all in this episode. This week Marshall and Nachos McWerewolf sit down for another round table discussion. In what is now named a "Why they talk?" episode we talk and discuss "Spiral", "X", and "Pearl" as well as engage in a 20 plus minute side rant about Star Wars. Oh yeah we also reveal the results of the HHMMMToA Final F@cked Up 4 and see who will be fighting it out in the championship to be crowned the worst of the worst.

This week we're hiking up a mountain and setting up camp at Northpoint to take on "The Prey". This early 80's slasher is 50% "Friday the 13th", 47% "The Hills Have Eyes", 34% "The Burning" and 68% National Geographic nature documentary. Add all that up and you get 100% pure sh!t. We're also revealing the results of this year's HHMMMToA Epically Awful 8 to see who will play in the Final F#cked Up 4 and announcing the newest inductee into the Horrible Horror Hall of Fame.

This week we sit down and have an open discussion about several newer horror movies including "Megan", "Smile", "The Black Phone" and more. We also reveal the results of the Shitty 16 round and set the Epically Awful 8 match ups for this year's Horrible Horror March Movie Madness Tournament of Awfulness.

In this quick little bonus episode we reveal the winners (if you want to call them that) of round one (the play in round) of this year's Horrible Horror March Movie Madness Tournament of Awfulness and we set the bracket for round 2 The Shitty 16.

A dark yet beautiful and tragic love story for the ages layered in mystery and suspense...oh wait never mind. This is a horrible adaptation that barely resembles the source material. This week we're dawning our finest tuxes and heading out to the opera to take on the 1989 Robert Englund "The Phantom of the Opera" aka The Phantom of Elm Street aka Freddy goes to the Opera.

We live by the crystal and die by the crystal. In this episode we're putting on our space suits, grabbing our laser guns and taking on "Galaxy of Terror". This 1981 sci-fi horror features two horror icons laser guns, kung-fu, and space rape. So strap in and get ready because this ship is ready for blast off.

Ho! Ho! Ho!. Well its Christmas time again but this year due to many scheduling conflicts and well just life we're doing something a little different this year. This week we're doing the first ever Horrible Horror Naughty or Nice list. So sit back with your cup of hot coco and join Marshall and some call-ins from old friends to find out who made the list.

It's Horrible Horror Jeopardy 2 Y'all!!!!

If you take a little bit of "Shocker" plus a dash of "Christine" and mix it with a helping of "Rocktober Blood" and top it off with a pair of Rock n' Roll and metal icons, you have yourself one hell of a wild gem of a movie. So wake up sleepy heads, it's party time. Make sure to listen to this episode backwards because its time for "Trick or Treat".

This week we're harvesting another haunted house theme park movie in the form of "The Bates Haunting". I couldn't handle this 2012 indie alone and had to call in the big guns for some back up. So hop on the back of the trailer, pull up a hay bale, sit next to your favorite "Jackass" cast-off, turn up the 90's emo butt rock and try to make it through "The Bates Haunting" not to be confused with "Hallow's Eve" which was shot at the exact same haunted house a year later.

Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat. If you don't, you SHOULD care, because I'll make you watch this really shitty movie. This week we're carving up the 2018 "Black Pumpkin". This indie slasher features a 10 year old rag wearing killer, an older sister who seems allergic to wearing pants, and a possible future Horrible Horror Hall of Famer. What it doesn't' have is any sense of a cohesive plot, rememberable characters, or a back story that makes sense. But hey, it has one of the most annoying commercial jingles we've ever heard.

It's the most wonderful time of the year, October is finally here again. This year we're kicking off the spooky season with a little movie called "Scream Park". This 2012 indie slasher suffers from an inability to really stand out in any facet. The acting ranges from okay to atrocious, the kills are mostly basic, the effects are simple but passable , the killers are dollar bin rip offs of other killers we've seen before, but it does have an absolutely magnificent set boobs and somehow "features" an all time horror movie icon.

Okay, so stop me if you've heard this one before, a Leprechaun, a He-Man villain, and Hulk villain walk into a sh!tty movie. This week we're skinning out teeth on the 2004 indie film "Skinned Deep".  Written, directed, and produced by special effects guru Gabriel Bartalos under the Fangoria banner this "movie" is one of the most absurd, weird, and "What the f*@k is happening" movies we've ever seen.  Hell, we're still trying to make sense of it and sadly I don't think we ever will.

Well Moongoons, I'm at a lost for words for this week's episode. This week's movie "The Slayer" joins the upper tier of worst movies we've ever covered on this show. This 1982 "slasher" slayed a bit of our souls, I don't think we will ever be the same again after sitting through the awfulness that is this movie. Even now as I sit here writing this I just feel dead inside, but hey enjoy the episode.

Well good evening there. Come sit by the fire as we regale you with works of literary genius, works so sublime, so masterfully written that they make the works of such literary masters by the likes of Dickens, Chaucer, Kipling, Faulkner, and Hemingway look like mere children's scribbling. Pour yourself a nice glass of the finest brandy or chianti and enjoy the literary renaissance that is Horrible Horror Masterpiece Theatre.

Well good evening there. Come sit by the fire as we regale you with works of literary genius, works so sublime, so masterfully written that they make the works of such literary masters by the likes of Dickens, Chaucer, Kipling, Faulkner, and Hemingway look like mere children's scribbling. Pour yourself a nice glass of the finest brandy or chianti and enjoy the literary renaissance that is Horrible Horror Masterpiece Theatre.

It's the 4th of July weekend and that means it's time for beer, grilling, fireworks, vehicular manslaughter and meat hooks. This week we're watching the late 90's hit "I Know What You Did Last Summer". This star filled slasher and Jennifer Love Hewitt's tits helped relaunch the horror genre into the modern era. So what are you waiting for, huh! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!! P.S.-We had an audio issue with the second mic, sorry.

Its June so that means its wedding season and with that comes bachelorette parties. So put on your bridal sashes, grab your penis straws and call in the strippers, because we're taking on "Slashlorette Party" and joining the party this week is Sydney from the "Spooky Tuesday" Podcast. This indie slasher features a some of the worst written characters, a group of friends that shouldn't be friends, friend of the show Drew Marvick, and a porn star legend. When the blood clears will we be saying "I do" to "Slashlorette Party" or will we leave it at the alter?

Journey with us back into the fog for part two of our "Silent Hill" retrospective. Joining me again the in fog is Cincinnati Jeff from the "Here Comes The Spooky" podcast and this time we're taking about movies, "Silent Hill" & "Silent Hill: Revelations".

Journey into the fog with us for a special two part retrospective on one of the greatest horror franchises of all time, Silent Hill. In part one we break down, discuss, reminisce on the first three games in the franchise. So grab a flashlight, your broken radio and join us in the fog to talk about the grandfather of horror games what what still are some of the scariest games of all time, Silent Hill 1, 2, and 3.

Murder, car chases, skateboarding, explosions, tits, sex, and Kung-Fu! Just like all the great malls of the 80's this week's movie "Phantom of the Mall" has everything. This 1989 horror movie is an over the top crazy bonkers ride that stars Paulie Shore, Morgan Fairchild, and the most interesting man in the world. So grab some fro-yo because we're going to the point of no return.

If "Friday the 13th" and "Halloween" had baby but that baby had fetal alcohol syndrome and downs syndrome it would be this week's movie. This shoe string indie is hands down one of the worst movies we've ever seen. Featuring a cast straight out of your grandparent's retirement community making this the oldest cast ever assembled for a horror movie, terrible acting, lame and unimaginative kills, grade school level writing, and an actor that may legitimately be on the spectrum. So join us as we try to survive "Camp Murder".

It's Prom season again so this week we're closing out the "Prom Night" series by taking on "Prom Night 4: Deliver Us From Evil". I'm not going stag the beautiful Monica from the Spooky Tuesday podcast is my lovely date to this insane dance of ridiculousness.  This Canadian sequel features a killer priest who just might have more powers then God himself, massive explosions, a creepy pervy 14 year old voyeur, a closeted lesbian or at the very least bi-curious best friend, and a fire shooting Aspergillum. Oh and stigmata. When the righteous fires settle will this movie find redemption or will it be punished to an eternity of self flagellation in hell?

Hooisers, Coach Carter, Hoop Dreams, White Men Can't Jump, & Air Bud are some of the all time greatest basketball movies. This week's movie is the 1990 "Night of the Dribbler". If those other movies are the starting line up, then "Night of the Dribbler" isn't' even at the end of the bench it's still sitting in the locker room trying to figure out how to tie its shoes. We may have found one of the worst movies ever made, it fails at being a horror movie and it fails at being a comedy. Hell, it's barely even a movie, it's more like a 90 minute one man demo reel. Not only does "Night of the Dribbler" foul out it should be ejected from the game and banned for life.

Grab your favorite energy drink because its time to play some pinball and kick some furry animatronic ass! This week we're taking on "Willy's Wonderland", a blatant "Five Nights and Freddy's" rip off starring Nicolas Mother F'ing Cage as mute janitor with a severe caffeine addiction kicking furry animatronic ass. Nuff' said.

Happy Easter Moongoons! Hopping down the sh!ty movie trail this week is "Night of the Lepus". This 1972 horror movie staring Janet Leigh (Jamie Lee Curtis' Mom) and Dr. Leonard "Bones McCoy" from Star Trek are in quite the hare-y predicament when a horde (or fluffle if you will) of giant carnivorous man eating rabbits stampede and rampage through their small Arizona town. Also featuring a man in bunny suit smearing ketchup on people, extreme close ups, exploding stuffed bunny toys, annoying and terrible children, and an ending sequence that is absolutely ridiculous bonkers.

Holy crap balls, Moongoons we made it to 250 episodes! To celebrate this momentous occasion we're taking a little cruise, a cruise to New York to be more precise. That's right we're doing "Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan". The last of the Paramount Friday the 13th's, this installment says screw the original lore and history of Jason as well as features an eternally wet Jason, geographical impossibilities, street gangs, rapey drug using muggers, cut-a-way kills, magical toxic waste that skin care companies would kill for, the worst and we mean THE WORST cases of over the top killer teleportation, and the most ridiculous, nonsensical, what where they thinking bull crap ending ever imaginable.

It's Wrestlemania weekend so that means it's once again time for a wrestling themed horror movie. This week we're lacing up our boots again, squeezing into our wrestling tights, putting on the face paint and squaring off with "Monster Brawl". This Canadian indie film features nearly all of the great classic monsters fighting each other to the death, not one but two WWE Hall of Famers, and really solid kills. But will that be enough to over power the juggernaut that is the absolute lack of a plot or any discernable story. Will "Monster Brawl" stand tall as the new heavy weight champion or will it be left in the center of the ring for the three count?

She's alive! She's alive! And she'll love you long time. You don't need money for this date so lay back with your super crack and listen as we piece together the listener suggested "Frankenhooker". This cult-classic features bad over the top acting, super crack, exploding hookers, Cronenberg nightmare creatures and more blue and purple lightning then you can shake a lightning rod at.

This week we're doing something different and playing Horrible Horror Jeopardy! Play along with Aaron, and the Dukes of Spook, Nachos McWerewolf and Cincinnati Jeff from the "Here Comes the Spooky Podcast" as they test their knowledge of all things Horrible Horror.

Top of the morning to ya, Moongoons. This week we're going to need more then the luck of the Irish to help us get through this week's movie. So grab a nice pint of Guinness and a shillelagh and get ready for the 2014 "Leprechaun: Origins", a movie that features a leprechaun that looks more like a grey hairless midget gorilla, gold heat vision, lame kills, terrible characters and some of the most nonsense made up lore ever heard. Sadly there's no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, just a pot of hot steamy crap.

This week we're carving up the new Netflix "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" but that's not all. In this episode we're also inducting two new members into the Horrible Horror Hall of Fame and setting the brackets for this year's Horrible Horror March Movie Madness Tournament of Awfulness. Don't miss out on one of Marshall's most epic rants of all time.

We're closing out black history month all sexy like by sinking our fangs into "Sista Vampires". A movie that tries to be a good vampire movie and a soft core porn movie but fails horribly at both. However, it does feature some sexy vampires that seem to have an aversion to clothes and only wear lingerie along with that it has surprisingly fun and awesome special effects. In the end when the sunsets will this movie be worthy of rising from its coffin to live on for eternity or does it deserve a steak in the heart?

ITS ALIVE! ITS ALIVE! and it has an afro. Its Black history month so this week we're flipping the switch and bringing to life "Blackenstein". This 1973 blaxploitation horror movie seriously might just be the worst movie we've ever had on the show. "Blackenstein" looks like it was edited and put together with all the subtly and finesse of a rusty meat clever. All the usual and terrible suspects are out in full force in this film, horrid and stiff acting, abysmal writing, lazy kills, poor special effects, and a plot so filled with holes and nonsense that even Dr. Frankenstein himself couldn't stitch it all together. Oh, and I can't forget the man with a tiger leg. Yes, this movie has a man with a tiger leg.

It's Valentine's Day and love is in the air. And there is no greater love than the love between a woman and her psychotic blood thirsty serial murdering doll. This week we're getting all dolled up for our date with the fourth installment in the "Childs Play" franchise "Bride of Chucky". This late 90's slasher features some solid kills, good humor, more explosions than you would expect and a great cast that includes a young Katherine Heigl, the late great John Ritter and the beautiful and talented Jennifer Tilly who really steals the show. So snuggle up with your valentine and get ready for a surprisingly fun ride.

Hey Moongoons, this week we're taming the listener suggested "Howling 2: Your Sister is a Werewolf". This late 80's werewolf movie is nearly beyond description. I seriously do not know what I to say about this insane follow up the classic original "The Howling".  It stars the iconic Christopher Lee and eye candy 80's tittie movie star Sybil Danning as an immortal werewolf queen. It also features horrible acting, a plot that makes no sense, bad 80's punk music, bad and cheesy special effects, dwarfs, and werewolves that look more like apes. And oh did I mention werewolf orgies? Yes you read that right werewolf orgies. When the full moon sets will this movie be a howling good time or does it deserve a silver bullet to the heart?

Class is in session, so take your seats and get ready for "Teacher Shortage". This indie slasher "stars" not one, not two, but three over the hill geriatric actress hobbling around, one of which is a Horrible Horror Hall of Famer. It also features some of the worst and most confusing lighting choices we've ever seen in a movie, terrible acting, poor writing, a bad and under developed plot, lazy and lame kills and one of the best looks sets of breasts we've seen sadly we don't get to see them bare. When the bell rings will "Teacher Shortage" rise to the top of the class or will it get an F and be sent to the principals office?

Hold on to your butts Moongoons, you're in for one crazy wild ride. This week's movie is one of the most disgusting and offensive movies we've ever seen and its freaking hilarious and awesome! Join us as we take on the listener suggested "Chillerama". This ridiculously over the top anthology features giant sperm monsters, gay werebears, a jewish Frankenstien, Hitler, and a horde of over sex-ed horny zombies. All of this is brought to us by horror directors Adam Green, Adam Rifkin, Joe Lynch and Tim Sullivan. Get ready to be offended.

I have no words for describe this week's watch-a-long movie "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare" other then this movie craps all over and completely removes any scariness that Freddy had left and turns him into a cartoon clown.  What should have been Freddy's big send off movie turned out to be the biggest pile of crap in the whole franchise. Instead of letting Freddy ride off in to that final dream on high, this movie leaves Freddy slinking away with his tail between his legs. We will forever curse the names of Rachel Talalay and Michael De Luca. Thank God Wes Craven came back to make "A New Nightmare" as a true and proper send off for one of horror's biggest icons.

This week we're watching "Wishmaster", a late 90's movie about an evil genie that grants wishes that no one actually wished for. Filled with an all-star cast of 80's and 90's horror icons and a combination of great practical effects along with some down right laughable digital effects. This wild movie is bookended by two of the most epic opening and closing scenes we have ever seen, making this ridiculously insane movie a reverse sandwich; all the meaty goodness is on the outside which sadly means that it's mostly just bland filler in between.

Happy New Year Moongoons! We're bringing in 2022 in the craziest way we know how, by watching "Bloody New Year". This 1987 British horror movie may be the wackiest and wildest movie we've ever seen on the show. Zombies, ghosts, thugs, carneys, inanimate objects that have a life of their own and seaweed monsters are just some of the insane things that this movie throws at you. Pair all that with bad acting, no real plot to speak of, terrible low budget effects and you have the making of what might just be the perfect horrible horror movie. If "Bloody New Year" is not a cult classic, then it bloody well should be.

Christmas may be over but we're giving you one last Christmas present. This week we're putting a wrap on the "Silent Night, Deadly Night" franchise by unwrapping "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker". After the horrible and inexcusable debacles that were "Silent Night Deadly Night 3 and 4" we could only imagine what an unspeakable sh!tfest we were walking into. This straight to video release features all the ingredients of the usual sh!t cakes that we're used to; poor script writing, bad acting, a loose plot, terrible name puns, a movie company desperately clinging to a dying franchise and pooping out another cash grab sequel, and a beloved aging actor that was just desperate for money. Yet something happened that we were not expecting, perhaps it was a Christmas miracle but somehow "Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker" turned out to be a wild, crazy and fun filled ride full of awesome death scenes and surprisingly good special effects. This fifth installment puts a fun and ridiculous bow on the lack luster and mishandled franchise that started off strong but went done the crapper faster then Santa Claus flying up a chimney.

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas boy and girls. Have you been naughty or nice? You do not want to be on this Santa's naughty list. This week we're sitting by the fire sipping on eggnog and unwrapping "Christmas Evil". This 1980 Christmas horror movie features a mentally broken man who turns himself into Santa Claus and an ending that you have to see to believe. Nether adult nor child is safe from his wrath if they made his naughty list. Will this killer Santa movie deliver the presents or will it get stuck in the chimney?

It's now December so you know what that means, its time for Christmas horror movies. We're kicking off this year's Christmas Horror Movie Spectacular with the overly-woke feminist manifesto that is the 2019 "Black Christmas".  A remake that is not even a remake at all but just a sorry and lame attempt to cash in on the "Black Christmas" name, featuring an overly in your face, hit you over the head repeatedly feminist message, black inky goo, annoying characters and horrible plot hole filled writing. This is one Christmas present that we want to return.

Okay all you creatures of the night its time put on your red lip stick, pull up your thigh highs and tighten your corsets because it's time to do the Time Wrap Again. Join us this week for another watch-a-long episode as we watch and sing along to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" a movie that Marshall historically can't stand.

Do you like screaming, dark dirty houses that look like meth dens, the F word and ghost horses? Well then we found the movie for you. This year for Halloween we went big and are taking on Rob Zombie's "Halloween 2", a movie that is way more trick than treat.

Do you have the time to listen to us whine about a terrible horror movie...about a man(?) that lives in a basket? That's right we're finally opening the wicker basket and taking on one of the all time greats in bad horror movie history, the 1982 "Basket Case".  This cult classic features terrible acting, bad writing, an awesome New York hotel owner, cheesy special effects and a glorious man perm mullet.

You opened the box and we came! Oh what sights we have to show you this week as we take on Hellbound: Hellraiser 2. Just like the puzzle box this movie looks good on the outside with its awesome special effects and great gore make-up but the more you open it the weirder and more confusing it gets and before you know it you're stick in a hell of confusing plots and nonsense. But hey it still looks good.

Beer, babes, weed, cannibals, and rivers. Pack up the coolers with ice and beer because we're going on a little float trip this week and taking on "Float Trip". This little slasher is like a shorter indie mash up of "Wrong Turn" and "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and features some pretty decent special effects, kills and one of the best scenes we've seen in a movie in long time. But at the end of the trip will this bloody movie make down the river in one piece or will it sink to the bottom and become lost under the waves?

We are frozen and on the verge of a rage age, what a waste of an American horror movie. Good God, Moongoons, this week's horror musical nearly caused Aaron to quit the show, it's that bad. Written and directed by Private Pile and the Kingpin himself Vincent D'Onofrio, this horror musical which is about 80% crappy music and 20% horror and features an obvious yet somehow incredibly confusing ending turned out to be one of the biggest disappointments we've ever had on the show.

Drag queens, drugs, Unicorns, and fisting Oh My! In this fierce episode we deliver you the "T" about the gay indie slasher "Killer Unicorn". Put on your wigs and get out the tuck tape and follow along as a group of obnoxious and annoying gay guys and drag queens get stalked and killed by a muscle and fitness model wearing bright pink sequined booty shorts and a unicorn mask.  What ever you do DON'T forget the lube!

Summer is here and that means its time to break out the sun screen, swim suits, and inflatable rafts. This week we're cannonballing into the deep end of the sh!t pool to take on Jason Takes the Waterpark...I mean "Aquaslash". This Canadian indie movie starts out as a fun thrill ride down an awesome water slide but quickly turns into a boring drift down a piss filled lazy river. This short 70 something minute long movie is filled with dozens of delinquent high school graduate characters that you just don't really care about, so much drug use that it would even make Scarface cringe, infidelity, and long slow build up to a climax that gets over used and old real fast. What we wanted was great fun thrill-filled water park slasher but what we ended up getting was a boring kiddie splash pad.

A movie that gives new meaning to the term killer fashion! We watched "Slaxx" an indie movie about a possessed pair of killer blue jeans. With a premise like that how can you go wrong? What we were expecting was a campy crap fest but what we got was a shockingly well made, serious and bloody solid movie. Filled with good practical and special effects, pretty solid acting with two really good performances, good kills lots of blood and not to subtle messages about capitalism and the fashion industry, this movie is well worth trying on.

Tuxes, Dresses, Limos, spiked punch and broken condoms, it's Prom season again so that means it's time for another Prom themed horror movie. This week our date is the 2017 "Party Night". This indie slasher rides the line between not being terrible and not being very rememberable or very good, leaving it in the dreaded pit of forgeability.  The acting isn't that bad but its not good, the writing and plot are both straight from the horror movie 101 mold but on the plus side the kills and special effects are fairly decent with some uniqueness. However, one of its biggest flaws is that its supposed to be a Prom movie but there's no F*CKING PROM! But at the end of the night will "Party Night" be standing tall on stage as Prom Queen or will it be sitting alone crying on the bleachers? Listen in and find out.

Are you ready? No, I said ARE YOU READYYYYYYY!!! Finally...it's Wrestlemania time again and in honor of this most sacred holiday we're delivering on to you Ep.222 "Wrestlemassacre". This indie movie is crammed full of all the headlocks, elbow drops, body slams, and back breakers you crave. Staring a plethora of former wrestlers, several of which are WWE Hall of Famers and featuring some of the best gore and special effects we've ever seen in a low budget movie, and plenty of boobs and nudity to go around, "Wrestlemassacre" powerbombed our minds through a table. Now can you dig that, SUCKA? WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Hip-pity hop-pity Moongoons, here comes the Easter Bunny hiding eggs and chopping off heads. I know on Easter people like to say "he is risen" but after watching this week's Easter movie "The Night Before Easter" the only thing risen is our blood pressure. This ultra-indie slasher features no redeeming qualities, bad stiff acting, terrible writing, horrible gore make-up effects, and characters devoid of any real personalities are all present here. The only thing we can say that his movie has going for it is the girl's are for the most part average to above average on the cuteness scale and that he movie is only a rabbit's hair longer than an hour. With that said when watching this movie it some how manages to break the space time continuum making an hour feel like an eternity.

Grab your combat knife, Beretta 9mm, and all the green herbs you can carry because this week we're celebrating the 25th anniversary of "Resident Evil". We're sitting down and watching the 2002 film adaptation of our favorite video game franchise, the film that took something so new and dear to us and took a giant steaming Tyrant turd all over it.

Well it was St. Paddy's Day again so you know what that means Moongoons. Yup, it's time for another Leprechaun movie. This time we're putting on our space suits, hiring a squad of Space Marines and launching ourselves into space to take on "Leprechaun 4: In Space". A straight to video movie that features terrible CGI, grade school play quality sets, glorious over the top acting and stars a Tool Time Hottie, a Baywatch Babe, Demon from Friday the 13 part 5, an extra from "Full Metal Jacket" and a man-spider-scorpion.

We have two words for you; Uwe "mother-f'ing" Boll. This week, in what turned out to be one of our longest episodes ever, we took on the infamous disaster that is video game based "House of the Dead".  This action horror movie, based on the Sega arcade game of the same name is just a train wreck from start to finish. It features terrible writing and dialogue, emotionless acting, and zombie king that looks more like a Dark Lord of the Sith. We hope you like matrix style slow motion 360 spinning camera shots because this movie has more of those then well... the matrix. And we can't forget the 10 minute long music video action sequence set to garbage rap-rock music.

Time to tip toe through the corpses with this week's episode "Blood Harvest". This forgotten about 80's horror film stars the odd and unique  cult performer Tiny Tim and features the world's most lazy sheriff, a whole bushel of rapey-ness, more continuity errors than you can shake a butchered pig at and a set of breasts that should get their own credit in the cast list. However, it hardly as any blood in it at all, no harvesting what so ever and certainly no BLOOD HARVESTING.

AhhhHaaaHaaaHaaa! Ep.216 "Doom Asylum" is now up. This listener suggested 80's slasher features super annoying poorly written characters, a crazy blonde punk girl who has serious emotional issues, and a not so dead one liner slinging lawyer turned killer all in an abandoned asylum that some how still has power and cable.

Women, helicopters and more pussy then you can handle!! That's really all you need to know about this week's movie "Night of a Thousand Cats".  This 70's Mexican giallo movie features a millionaire playboy with a pension for stalking pretty women in his helicopter and hoarding cats, it also has has the world's worst mother and probably the least amount of dialogue we've ever seen. Seriously, I think silent movies had more dialogue than this.

We're continuing Black History Month with another black horror movie this time from writer & directer Mark Harris. This ultra-indie who done it slasher about a group of "mega rich superstar rappers" getting offed in a music studio broke Aaron's spirit and took a piece of his soul. Seriously this one ranks up there with our all time worst movies. Nuff said.

We're back! And we're kicking off black history month hard with truly horrible Full Moon release "The Horrible Doctor Bones". This urban horror movie mixes sh*tty hip-hop (which is really more like sh*tty  R&B) with voodoo, in theory it sounds good but works out as well as Tupac and Conway Twitty duet. Feature terrible music, bad acting, 90's music video special effects, and possibly zombies (the z-word is used but these are not like any other zombie we've ever seen, so who knows).

We're wrapping up the Christmas season and the sh*t year that was 2020 with the sh*t movie that is "Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initation". This movie is just like 2020, a terrible garbage time that doesn't make any sense and has absolutely nothing to do with its predecessors. At least 2020 didn't have giant alien bugs, but hey there's still a few days left.

Merry Christmas you filthy Moongoons and as an early X-mas present we're giving you a second new episode this week as we unwrapped "Secret Santa". This surprisingly fun indie holiday slasher features all the "C" words you need; coffee, caffeine Pills, carolers, cocaine (maybe), cheaters, cam girls, a cock, cleavers, chainsaws & Christmas.

An ugly Christmas sweater possessed by the spirit of a Satan worshipping serial killer, bible camp, dicks, and laser cannons what more could you want in a Christmas movie? This week Marshall watches the insanely crazy and over the top 2018 indie Christmas movie "Ugly Sweater Party", but he's not doing it along, he's joined by "Ugly Sweater Party" actor Kevin Caliber and the movies writer/director Aaron Mento. So donned your ugly sweater grab some spiked egg nog and join us on one wild Christmas sleigh ride.

We're stabbing, slashing and SINGING our way into the Christmas season by taking on the zombie Christmas musical "Anna & the Apocalypse". I really don't have anything witty or bad to say here, it's just a surprisingly God damn good movie. The writing, the acting, the lighting, the cinematography, and the music, its all just f*cking good. Enjoy.

What can I say except that this week's episode is a real stinker. We watched "Hellitosis: The Legend of Stank Mouth", this literal sh*t show of a movie is about mother's unconditional love for her son and well sh*t. Get the wet wipes out, you're going to need them.

If you like naked ghosts, bloody tampons, and meaningless one dimensional characters then we found the movie for you. This week we watched "Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet", an indie slasher that stars two horror icons, features some great kills, really solid practical gore effects, and lots of nudity. However it also has plot holes, a surprise twist that really isn't a surprise to anyone, and a killer that just isn't remotely intimidating.

This week we carve up the 1995 "Jack-O" aka "Jack-O-Lantern". A movie that features a witch that isn't really a witch, a pumpkin headed demon that looks like a walking bobblehead, and the most emotionless, souls husk of a kid that we've ever seen. It's not all bad though, it does have one of the most over the top electrocution deaths we've ever seen and a gratuitous naked Linnea Quigley shower scene.

Old places and familiar faces return as we take on the ultra indie "Don't Look in the Cellar". Written, directed, and produced by Dennis Devine and David S. Sterling, the Film Legion of Doom team up to bring us a pure abomination of a movie filled with terrible acting, horrendous writing, lame kills, and horrific storytelling. But hey it does have some hot girls in skimpy bikinis.

Special guest Kevin Caliber joins us as we tackle the 2014 "Varsity Blood".  This indie slasher is like the bad offspring of a drunken "Friday the 13" and "Varsity Blues" bang fest.  Poor writing, terrible lighting, along with mostly unlikeable characters and some horrible acting performances doom this film despite it featuring Horrible Hall Hall of Famer Debbie Rochon and some decent kills. But ultimately this movie gets stopped at the goal line on 4th and 1.

In this bonus episode we sit down and talk about the horror spoof movie genre.  We cover three movies from three different decades: "Repossessed", "Student Bodies", and "Scary Movie" along with a few others and the genre as a whole, along with the roll comedy and humor plays in horror movies.

In this bonus episode we turn back the way way back machine and talk about one of our favorite video game series from our childhood, Castlevania.  We share our memories of the games, our experiences with and thoughts about the franchise and just take a trip back to nostalgia land.

Alright Moongoons, I got nothing sassy or witty to say right now. This week's listeners suggested movie "Pickaxe", is just another crappy run of the mill indie slasher. It has all of the usual suspects terrible acting, horrible writing, lack of explanation on what's going on, and unimaginative kills. But it does have a plethora of cubby to mediocre looking naked chicks and stars Tiffany Shepis, who we swear is just drunk the whole time phoning it in.

Get your safe words ready Moongoons because this week we're diving into the world of whips, chains, black vinyl body suits and BDSM. We watched the BDSM fetish horror movie "Blood Gnome", a straight to video micro budget film that features bondage, whips, a dominatrix drug lord, a crime scene photographer who may or not be a serial killer, and invisible blood thirty internet savvy monsters. Will "Blood Gnome" whip us into submission, or will we dominate it and make it lick our high heeled boots?

This week we're strapping on our Power Gloves, grabbing our light guns and taking on the video game based sci-fi horror movie "How to Make a Monster". This made for TV movie stars Clea DuVall, Stephen Culp, and Tyler Mane as video game developers who have to fight for their lives as their super advanced video game monster comes to life and goes on a murder rampage. Filled with out crappy and out dated CGI and terrible sword fighting this movie posses the question; just because they could make this movie, should they? But, hey it's got Julie Strains's big bouncing tits.

In part 2 of our 200th episode celebration spectacular we're sitting down with some of our favorite guests and friends to talk about our road to 200. We look back at what it took to get here, talk about some of our favorite movies, episodes, and moments from the show. And of course there's some more Halloween 3 talk as well.

Holy face eating masks Moongoons, we made it to 200! So we had to celebrate big time by finally taking on the move that Marshall has called the "bane of his existence", a movie that "blackened his soul". On the lighter side it does feature Tom Atkins pulling off impossible and inhuman feats of skill and strength. So gather around your speakers, kids because it's time for the big Horrible Horror 200th episode spectacular.

This week we're going on a safari, where the animals aren't just deadly, they're dead. Well not so much dead as just pissed off and fake. If you love busty beauty queens, bargain bin special forces rejects, bad CGI and exploding animals then "Zoombies 2" is the movie for you.

In this special bonus episode we were lucky enough to sit down with Horrible Horror Hall of Famer Julin. We talk about her acting career, including stories from "Sweatshop","Spirit Camp", and "Knucklebones" among others. We also talk about her life before acting, making friends on set, sleazy producers, and her new production company FoxForce. This interview was a lot of fun and we think it turned out great.

So I'm a bit drunk right now and am having a little trouble coming up with witty things to say about this episode. With that said no bell can save you from the terribleness that is "A Crack in the Floor". This 2001 indie slasher from Canada offers nothing new to the genre and includes all the regular offenders; bad acting, bad writing and directing and lazy off screen kills. However, it does have quite possibly the greatest Gary Busey acting moment ever caught on film. If you like characters telling stories that have absolutely nothing to do with the actual plot then this movie is for you.

Whooot! Whooot! We're back, Moongoons! And we're bringing the heat, and by heat we mean an absolutely horrendous movie. For our glorious return we watched the listener suggested "The Legend of the Psychotic Forest Ranger". This independent low budget Canadian slasher features all the usual suspects of a terrible movie, bad writing, bad acting, bad special effects, boring one dimensional characters, terrible one liners and out dated jokes. This is one movie that needs to stay lost in the woods.

St. Paddy's Day is here again so that means it once again time for us to catch up with our favorite little green man, the Leprechaun. This year Leppy's taking his rhyming shenanigans to the ghetto's of Los Angelos and goes toe to little green toe with mother f'ing Ice-T in "Leprechaun 5: In The Hood".

Put on the coffee pot, grab some No-Doze and Hypnocil pills and try to stay awake with us as we take on "A Nightmare on Elm St. 3: Dream Warriors". Join us as we watch what is widely considered to be the best sequel, if not the best movie in the entire franchise in this special watch-a-long episode.

Hey Moongoons, its that time of year again! Its time to kick off the annual Horrible Horror March Movie Madness Tournament of Awfulness! In this bonus episode we sit down to make this year's tournament bracket. Feel the excitement and drama as we randomly assign the field of 32 terrible movies broken down into two divisions, Camp Crystal Lake and Haddonfield. Then we go matchup by matchup to pick our winners all the to which horrible movie we think we will crowned this year's WORST OF THE WORST.

This week we're heading out to Hollywood where dreams come true and movie magic is made. Unfortunately nobody told the makers of "The Backlot Murders", a low budget slasher film from 2002. This may be the most formulaic movie we've ever seen on top of that it features a ridiculous looking killer, terrible and unimaginative kills, horrible acting and writing, and an under and misused 80's star. But hey, its not all bad the movie is filled with beautiful ex-Playboy models with giant wonderful boobs.

What do get when you combine bad Def Comedy Jam washouts with a crappy slasher horror movie? You get one of the absolute worst movies we've ever seen. This ultra indie micro-budget film features terrible washed out comedians performing horrible stand-up, abysmal special effects, even worse acting, and the giant fat black girl from the 2000 college comedy "Road Trip". But what makes this even sadder is that the movie's actually has a good premise, but just completely and utterly fails in every aspect of its execution.

Their's is a cute, adorable, and often misunderstood culture but make no mistake if you mess with them they'll hunt you down like the dog that they're dressed up as. This week we watched "Furry Nights", an independent film from 2016 that has a great premise but ultimately fails and ends up being all over the place. The good guys seem more like the villains the villains are actually sympathetic, it flip flops between dark and serious and trying to be funny with slap stick cartoonish antics. Not to mention the down right terrible acting and writing. It's not all bad, the main villain looks awesome and scary, and there are some really good camera shots and lightning effects. However, in the end it's not enough to save this movie from itself.

This week the curtain gets pulled back as Marshall and Aaron sit down and answer all of your listener submitted questions. Nothing is off limits as they talk about their favorite horror and non-horror movies, favorite all time kills, wrestling, pubic hair, the worst jobs they ever had and play game of F*uck, Marry, Kill and so much more.

Price check on severed head, can I get a price check on severed head? This week we took on the 1989 slasher "Intruder". This forgotten about and probably over looked horror movie is f*cking amazing! This movie has pretty much everything you could ever want in a good horror movie, the kills, special effects and gore are next level awesome. The writing is really solid, the acting is good, Dan Hicks absolutely crushes it and its oddly unique setting which at first we thought for sure was going to  make this a bad movie actually works really well. We know this is not the usually for us, and we were shocked when we realized that this movie is actually really awesome. So do yourself a favor and watch this movie, but don't forget to check out this episode too.

We're closing out our month long Christmas Horror Movie Spectacular and 2019 with "Mrs. Claus". This indie slasher from 2018 features the worst sorority Christmas party ever, one six pack of beer, an Amazonian sorority girl, an indie horror icon who seems dead inside and quite possibly the smallest and least intimidating killer ever put on film. However, its not a complete lump of coal it also has surprisingly good kills and they did not skimp on the blood effects. So, sit back with your cup of hot coco, finish off the last of the Christmas cookies and enjoy.

Ho, Ho, Ho! Christmas is days away so that can only mean its time for our annual "Silent Night, Deadly Night" movie. This year we're taking on "Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out", a movie that takes everything from its two predecessors, says F it and throws it all in the trash. Does it feature a killer Santa Claus? Nope. Does it have anything to do with Christmas? Not really. Does the killer go around saying bad puns and cheesy one liners? Hell no, matter of fact he doesn't talk at all. But hey, at least it has the world's surliest and bitchiest blind girl, telepathy and a killer that might as well be a zombie wearing a Sci-fi brain fish bowl on his head complete with flashing lights and antennas.

This week sh*t gets crazy, we watched the 1989 "Elves". This insane, out of control sleigh ride features a tiny, hairy, killer Elf that looks more like a Troll turd with lockjaw, Nazi's, incest, home invasions, department store shootouts, a chain smoking Grizzly Adams, and we can't forget the horny cocaine snorting Santa.

This week we're kicking off our annual December month long Christmas horror movie spectacular with the 2018 "Slay Belles". This indie movie about Santa Claus, Krampus, and three hoes, hoes, hoes features good special effects, lots of fun and subtle humor, surprisingly decent acting and a fun but a bit dark take on Santa and Mrs. Claus. But, in the end after all the eggnog is gone will this thrill ride of a movie end up on our nice list or will it end up in the naughty list? Listen in to find out.

Alright Moongoons, we need to be real and honest for moment, this week's episode may not be the best and is probably not the episode for any new first time listeners to start with. You've been warned, but if you want to listen to Marshall loose his God Damn and go on an hour long anger rage filled ranted about this Canadian independent slasher, or if you're looking to punish yourself for some secret shame or just plain want to test your physical and intestinal fortitude then by all means sit down and strap in for a bumpy ride.

This week we're taking on the intergalactic space turd that is "Nightbeast". This 1982 sci-fi/horror movie features an alien in a silver disco suit, that looks like a hairless ape or General Akbar on meth, actors that look like washed up 70's porn stars, a biker with a bad attitude that has absolutely no bearing on the plot, a laser pistol that turns people into disco lights, a creepy Uncle, and politics. Because no horror movie is compete with out politics. This movie should have stayed lost in space.