Lyrics To Go

Seth and Marc get a good start with the 300s by inviting Crissy back to talk about another touchy tune... Fancy as covered by Reba McEntire. Is there something else Fancy or her mom could've done given the circumstances? Did Fancy do the right thing? Does anyone even care?

Special Guest: Crissy DeNoto.

EPISODE 300! We did it. And to celebrate, we have some big news AND a great guest! We welcome Chris Brewer from SkilletBrew Productions to talk about Real World by Matchbox 20 which is an absolute dog's breakfast especially with regards to lyrics.

Special Guest: Chris Brewer.

The guys invite Jamie and Kristin in to the Dick Castle to discuss the Ying Yang Twins banger Salt Shaker. There is no conspiracy theory here... no deeper meaning. Just some good, ol' fashioned stupid lyrics about treating women like objects.

Special Guests: Jamie Carmichael and Kristin Herman.

Seth and Marc discuss the song that has become a sports anthem: Chelsea Dagger by The Fratellis. But do these sportos know what the song they're chanting is about?

The Guys talk about the nearly universally-panned single T.H.E. (The Hardest Ever.) So awful that J-Lo has never mentioned it aside from posting the music video when it was first released, this song is about as bad as you can get without talking about endangering peoples' well-being and/or safety.

The guys talk about Surrender by Cheap Trick to find out what the hell is going on. Luckily, they find a pretty great message under a pretty great song.

The guys discuss the 60's Donovan hit Mellow Yellow. A 60's hit and instant classic has some strange roots and an even stranger admission that will follow the Coca-Cola company for a long time.

Seth and Marc bring in Skyler to discuss one of his favorite bands and one of his least favorite songs by them... Green Day's Boulevard Of Broken Dreams. We discuss if this was actually written by an angsty middle schooler and wonder whether or not he walks alone.

Special Guest: Skyler Denison.

After an update on Marc's Nashville extravaganza, the guys get serious (more than usual) about the backstory of Pearl Jam's third single from Ten; Jeremy. There was a real Jeremy who suffered an unfortunate end... but does this song do him and his memory justice?

After years and years, Seth and Marc convince Jen and Amelia (Seth's wife and daughter respectively) to come into the studio to talk about the immensely popular Wannabe. Girl power anthem or jumbled mess? Or mixture of both?

Special Guests: Amelia Ford and Jen Ford.

Seth and Marc invite Doug back into Dick Castle to talk about the Poison Flesh And Blood-era hit Unskinny Bop. Does it actually have depth? What's right? What's wrong? What's left? And what the hell is an "unskinny bop?"

Special Guest: Doug Davison.

The guys talk about one of the biggest songs of the early Aughts; 3 Doors Down's Kryptonite. A truly puzzling song about how hard it is to be around someone when they're doing well? What?

The guys get together to discuss the 90's one hit wonder Got You (Where I Want You) from The Flys. I don't think anyone knows what they're trying to do or say here... including the band. Is it supposed to be funny? Poignant? Whatever it's trying to do, it isn't succeeding.

Seth and Marc discuss the creepy stalker song It'll Be Me as sung by noted freak Jerry Lee Lewis. If you're wondering if this song is tongue in cheek or not, knowing he married his 14-year-old relative doesn't help his case.

This week, the guys discuss one thing Canada doesn't do well at all.... reggae. Specifically, the song Rude by Magic! This song was everywhere and it was very bad. A whiny guy asking for his girlfriend's fathers blessing only to tell him to eat shit when he doesn't get it? Quit wasting our time.

The guys discuss 50 Ways To Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon... One of the best songwriters of our generation reduced to a shitty rhyme scheme about cheating on his wife. Bummer.

Marc and Seth go back to the grunge days to talk about the strange lyrics to Spoonman by Seattle legends Soundgarden. Listen to us wax nostalgic about our youth and then talk about how fucking weird these lyrics are.

Wow. Seth and Marc listen to the single Hey Mister by Custom. Truly detestable, this song was banned from MTV after they labeled the song and video "pedophilic and offensive to women". I think that's all we need to say about that.

The guys celebrate Memorial Day with the best-selling female artist of all time and her song Like A Prayer. This song has it all.. double entendres, gospels choirs, and.... mentions of children?

Seth and Marc talk about the earworm Virtual Insanity by Jamiroquai. A danceable tune that ends up being about a fear of a dystopian future where people live underground and people are changing the color of their babies. Wait, what?

Seth and Marc are forced to listen to Sexy Little Thing by "superband" Chickenfoot; some of your least favorite parts of mostly mediocre bands. Take a trip with them as they try to uncover what some of this means and face the parts that are, unfortunately, all too clear.

Seth and Marc discuss the manipulative tactics of Scotland's own Del Amitri and their incel-esque hit Roll To Me. We learned all kinds of interesting things like there is no one in the band named Del Amitri, they're Scottish, and they've been around much longer than we knew.

WARNING - We discuss sexual abuse in this episode. If that is a topic you want to avoid, we will be back with a more light-hearted episode next week. Seth and Marc talk about the disturbing lyrics of Tool's first single Prison Sex. This isn't a funny one and may go down as the biggest downer episode in the history of the podcast, but any lyrics that include "shit, blood, and cum on my hands" should be discussed at least a bit.

Seth and Marc invite very special guests Tim and Joee back on to tackle the nightmare that is Walk Like An Egyptian by all-female supergroup The Bangles. Marking the beginning of the end of the band, this a confusing note to go out on. One part dance craze, one part social commentary, but whole parts steaming hot turd.

Special Guests: Joee Patterson and Tim Clark.

The guys once again turn to the oeuvre of Steve Miller and his band with the laid back jam Fly Like An Eagle. Is it really as deep as they seem to think it is? And would it have packed more punch if it kept its original context?

Marc and Seth take a look under the hood of the heartbreak anthem that is Boyz II Men's End Of The Road. Unfortunately the deeper you get, the more the heartbreak gives in two a double-edged sword; cuckolded whiner and menacing creep.

The guys discuss a stone cold classic; She Talks To Angels by The Black Crowes. Undoubtedly a jam, it raises some unanswered and troublesome questions...

The guys look over the insanely creepy I Will Possess Your Heart by indie darlings Death Cab For Cutie. It starts off sounding cool and ends up making you want to buy an alarm system.

Seth and Marc take a look at the first Collective Soul single Shine. Reportedly not a Christian band, this song sounds a hell of a lot like a Christian song by the laziest and whiniest follower ever.

The guys listen to the song True Love by Pink where she talks about how much she hates her significant other. It may be all fun and games to her but is it dangerous in the wrong hands?

The guys go over one of Robert Plant's solo hits with a very unfortunate name: Big Log. Luckily, it's not a song about a giant shit. Unluckily, it is a giant shit.

Seth and Marc dust off an old 5ive hit from their sophomore effort Invincible called If Ya Gettin' Down. And just in time for their tour announcement of UK, Australia, and New Zealand! This song is bringing the quality we've come to expect from a UK boy band... that is to say, low.

The podcast reaches some new depths with the Methods Of Mayhem single Get Naked. If Tommy Lee wasn't bad enough, Fred Durst is on it too.

Seth and Marc re-record an episode from days past and talk about Aerosmith's Walk This Way. It's pretty confusing, pretty gross, and much more on-the-nose than Steven Tyler was thinking.

It's been a while since the guys discussed a little Kid Rock. Here, they talk about his collaboration with Canada's Monster Truck and his rendering of their modest hit Don't Tell Me How To Live. In true Kid Rock fashion, he takes something decent and makes it abysmal.

Seth and Marc bring Mike back to talk more about ska; specifically the mysterious meaning behind Madness's only number 1 hit House Of Fun.

Special Guest: Mike Cosden.

It's been a long time since the guys have talked about Uncle Nuge. And what better song to discuss than Wang Dang Sweet Poontang? Need we say more?

Seth and Marc kick the new year in high gear with Rump Shaker by Wreckx-N-Effect. With a video that was banned from MTV and reviled for its horny lyrics, you'd think there's not much more to say... the guys disagree.

The guys pull some low-hanging fruit with Ironic by Alanis Morissette. Often maligned by "um, actually" language critics everywhere, it can't NOT be talked about at some point.

The guys talk about the Bruno Mars hit That's What I Like. There's no argument that Gene Hernandez is an incredibly talented musician. He also goes a little off the rails in his pleading with this one.

Happy holidays from the guys at Lyrics To Go! To celebrate, Seth and Marc talk about the Mariah Carey hit Oh Santa where, upon seeing him shopping with a current lover, takes it upon herself to beg Kris Kringle to kidnap him and push him down her chimney with increasing intensity.

Seth and Marc call in the big guns for a song that has definitely had its lyrics scrutinized in the past... all the way up to the high courts. Fan favorites Jamie and Kristin join to talk about 2 Live Crew's Me So Horny which is offensive in two ways: it's extremely sexual and it's also pretty stupid. Who is surprised?

Special Guests: Jamie Carmichael and Kristin Herman.

Seth and Marc listen to the Canadian nepo-baby Tal Bachman and his song She's So High. This song is basically about how even if your dad was in The Guess Who and Bachman Turner Overdrive, you can still think of yourself as somewhere below pond scum and compare beautiful women to a 19 year old who was burned at the stake.

Marc and Seth try to figure out exactly what's going on with Shakira's hit song She Wolf. Are we dealing with bad lyrics due to poor translation, bad lyric writing, or both? Why didn't the producers help steer her in a better direction? Why are we talking about being in a closet?

Seth and Marc go over the lyrics to country rock phenom Billy Ray Cyrus' recording breaking hit Achy Breaky Heart. Written by Don Von Tress and recorded by the Marcy Brothers, Miley's dad couldn't leave unwell enough alone and started a line dancing revolution with a song that loves naming body parts and doesn't make much sense.

The guys listen to and discuss Stroke 9's minor hit Little Black Backpack. A song that slides down the slope of 90's anger and gets creepier and more controlling the longer it goes. More than likely the most frightening song about a fashion trend in a long while.

Marc and Seth bring Kristin in to talk about the victim-blaming inner city jam What Would You Do? by City High. A song about a guy at a party watching strippers and then wondering why strippers are stripping. Some classic problematic hypocrisy especially poignant in these times.

Special Guest: Kristin Herman.

The guys talk about the troublesome lyrics in Paul Revere and The Raiders' hit song Steppin' Out. One part unclear, two parts vaguley threatening, and two parts sounding like a revenge sex song, this is a strange one in many aspects.

Another day, another shitty British boy band... this time in the form of Another Level and their death rattle that was Bomb Diggy. Touting what might be the dumbest half of a chorus in the shows history, this is a real dump.

The guys throw on their cowboy hats and listen to the drivel that is God Made Girls by The Voice quarterfinalist Raelynn. Is it misogynist? Is it saying men are useless without women? Maybe both!

Another day, another song where the narrator descends into madness. Seth and Marc go to therapy with the boys in Saliva to see what Click Click Boom is all about... and it ain't a whole lot of fun.

For episode 250, the guys work on ironing out the anti-male model song I Can't Dance by prog-rock-cum-pop band Genesis. This song was called "provocatively smug" which we couldn't agree more with. AND it sucks.

Seth and Marc take the wild ride provided by Beyonce and Co. in Destiny's Child's hit Cater 2 U. What starts off sweet and lovely turns into a red flag the size of Texas half way through. Can they pull the nose up before the song is over?

WOAAHHH YEAHHH! The guys find out what the hell is going on in the sad verses of the glam rock hit The Ballroom Blitz by The Sweet... and YES, both of those are supposed to have "The"s in front of them.

The guys talk about the first big stateside hit by way of New Zealand... Split Enz and their certified creepfest I Got You. Somehow, someone obsessing over you sounds even weirder in an accent. Boy, is it a doozy!

The guys talk about the highest-charting song by The Romantics; Talking In Your Sleep. The only thing that eclipse the creepiness of this is how it doesn't make sense in the end.

The guys invite listener-favorite Jamie back for what ends up being a monster-sized episode to discuss the Peggy Scott-Adams' questionable hit Bill. After a lengthy talk about the singer's history, the conversation turns to these FIVE VERSES worth of lyrics and what the intentions were.

Special Guest: Jamie Carmichael.

Seth and Marc get deep into the repetitive lyrics for Blue Oyster Cult's last hit Burnin' For You. What does it all mean and does it even matter when a song rocks this hard?

The guys are on a roll and decide to talk about the Spin Doctor's hit song Two Princes. This one leaves a lot of questions to be answered. Who wants to have rockets bought for them? Should that person be trusted? Are these lyrics all about one prince? And why does this guy think "no future" is a selling point?

Seth and Marc dust off the ol' classic If You Wanna Be Happy as made famous by Jimmy Soul. Somehow, it manages to simultaneously make "pretty" and "ugly" women feel terrible in one fell swoop and, at the same time, make marriage sound like a worthless endeavor. Impressive!

Seth and Marc discuss the legacy of Terry Bollea (aka Hulk Hogan) before trudging through the jingoistic 2nd grade poetry that is Real American as sung by Rick Derringer. A song that has aged like the Cold War, there is some interesting history to be learned and some talk to be had about what makes someone indefensible.

The guys talk about the Depeche Mode sleeper single It's No Good. Is it a big surprise that this band wrote a macabre song about being obsessed with someone like this? In hindsight, hell no.

Seth and Marc take on another boy band from across The Pond... this time in the form of One True Voice's cover of the Bee Gee's stinker Sacred Trust. What starts off as a bewildering set of lyrics possibly turns into one of the biggest realizations in L2G history!

Seth and Marc finally rip off the Weezer band aid and talk about the beginning of the decline of the band with their first post-Matt Sharp single Hash Pipe. What is it, what is it about, and how was it written? Does anything matter anymore?

The guys just can't stay away from Rod Stewart who always has a creepy one in the chamber. This time, it's a blues cover called Good Morning Little Schoolgirl; his first single for Decca Records. Surprisingly, this isn't the creepiest song he does though it does raise the ol' hackles.

Seth and Marc invite good friend and recovering shitty-music lover Nick back to talk about an embarrassing song that is supposedly a "homage" to horror movies by Murderdolls. The song is called Dead In Hollywood and we wish they were.

Special Guest: Nick Hanlon.

The guys continue with their guest-a-thon when they invite Jamie back to talk about the Mariah Carey stage 5 clinger hit Always Be My Baby. How much of a pass does Mariah get because she's well... Mariah? Not a whole lot.

Special Guest: Jamie Carmichael.

AWOOOOO! Seth and Marc invite close friend and Zevon-lover Fletcher back to talk about Werewolves of London. Is this song about anything deeper than a Chinese food-loving lycanthrope living in England? Seth and Jackson Browne say yes, but everyone else disagrees.

Special Guest: Fletcher Herman.

The guys invite past guest Kristin back to wallow in the sadness that she created by suggesting Concrete Angel by Martina McBride. Listed number 1 on Rolling Stones' list of saddest songs, this one is just trying to punch you in the face with depression. And it works.

Special Guest: Kristin Herman.

Seth and Marc discuss the one-hit blunder You Get What You Give by New Radicals. A whiny anti-establishment song by someone who is putting out albums paid for by people who are the establishment is a bit of a strange choice and we hate it.

The guys talk about the ultra-horny (and ultra frightening) lyrics to Sabrina Carpenter's anthem for this fast-paced world; Busy Woman. Dripping wet with sexual innuendos and shooting loads of double entendres everywhere she goes, Sabrina lets us know how quickly she'll come if you want her and also warns us of what happens if you don't.

The guys listen to the extremely predatory Blame It by famed entertainer Jamie Foxx and featuring T Pain. At last; An anthem for men who purposefully get women drunk to lower their inhibitions even after they're told that they don't want to pursue anything sexual.

Marc and Seth delve into the last Steve Miller Band song they'll ever do..... maybe. The Joker by Steve Miller Band is a self-referential nightmare with made-up words that were stolen from other songs that made up words AND nearly a whole verse that was stolen. And all for.... THIS?

Marc and Seth invite long-time bud and food magician Skyler to talk about the Foo Fighters song All My Life. The gang pulls back the curtain on what this song is apparently about and try to make heads and/or tails of how it all fits together.

Special Guest: Skyler Denison.

Oftentimes, they guys cover songs that have flown under the radar with their offensive or terrible lyrics... and sometimes, they cover songs like Jason Aldean's Try That In A Small Town. Woefully ignorant, dangerous, and replete with a music video with one of the worst backdrops in history. Bad all around.

Seth and Marc discuss the openly creepy Steal My Kisses by Ben Harper and his Innocent Criminals. It's rare that someone openly admits to crossing state lines to kiss a woman against their will but here we are.

Marc and Seth are rocked on their heels by the bold-faced title of Ariana Grande's hit single Break Up With Your Girlfriend, I'm Bored. And to no one's surprise, the lyrics are even worse.

The guys welcome the inimitable Dave Hill to discuss the overtly positive acapella hit Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin. How would you feel if you were being kicked out of your home and some guy is telling you that being sad about it is making other people sad? Just shut up already.

Special Guest: Dave Hill.

The guys re-invite two close friends and beloved guests, Tim and Mike, to talk about ska music... specifically, the lyrics to the only ska song that hit number one in the 90's: The Impression That I Get by the Mighty Mighty Bosstones. Is it a sweet song? Do the lyrics read like the singer muttering to himself? It could be a bit of both.

Special Guests: Mike Cosden and Tim Clark.

Seth and Marc talk about the origins of, and the boycott called for, Ram Jam's only hit; Black Betty. Repetitious, rocking, and awkward coming from the mouths of a bunch of long-haired white dudes, this song has left a lasting impression.

Nothing says Lyrics To Go quite like a guy telling a girl/woman that they are too beautiful that they make them want to kill themselves. Marc and Seth talk about lyrics written by a 16 year old that sound like lyrics written by a 16 year old.

The dudes go through the semi-hidden meaning of a song about being bored named after a town in California; Longview. Can it really all be about jerking off because you're smoking too much pot? Yeah, pretty much.

Seth and Marc discuss the Spinners cover of Working My Way Back To You. What is probably supposed to be passed off as a sweet song of self-reflection is really just psychological torture from a masochistic narcissist.

Seth and Marc invite Arden to discuss the Katy Perry smooching anthem I Kissed A Girl. Is it pro-bi or is it objectifying queer women for the sake of a hit song? Maybe both.

Special Guest: Arden Simon.

The guys go against the advice of T-Boz, Left Eye, and Chilli and chase Waterfalls by TLC where they discuss sex worker kinks, drug dealers, and whether or not "chasing waterfalls" is a good analogy.

Seth and Marc are graced with the presence of "Chef" Kevin Bartelt of Hollywood Handbook/We're Here To Help/Action Boyz/etc. fame to talk about the troublesome single Invisible. Originally performed by Irish boy band D-Side, Clay Aiken actually heard it and decided to put out his own version. What we want to know is... why?

Special Guest: Kevin Bartelt.

The faint smell of Aqua-Net is in the air... Seth and Marc call upon the expertise of metal lover Doug to discuss the new Motley Crue single Cancelled. This is them at their worst trying desperately to drum up a new fanbase that hates the "woke mob." Unsurprisingly, it sucks.

Special Guest: Doug Davison.

Seth and Marc invite past guest Nick to talk about a song he referred to as "hot doo-doo ass"; Freaxxx by Brokencyde. There is not much to say about this song other than it is horrendous and I'm sorry we did it.

Special Guest: Nick Hanlon.

The dudes try their hand at a rough translation of the 80's a-ha hit Take On Me. Is this a case of Norwegian-to-English mayhem or is it just stupid and kind of creepy?

This week, the guys go over one of the creepiest hits of the 21st century so far... Blurred Lines by nepo-baby Robin Thicke. Contrary to popular belief, we do not "want it." Yikes.

The guys take a trip across the pond to listen to British boy band 5ive and their first hit single Slam Dunk (Da Funk.) It is chock full of basketball references that sound like they come from someone who heard about basketball from a distant friend once. They also talk about merging their penii together.

Seth and Marc talk about their love-hate relationship with Jason Mraz and, particularly, the cheesiness of his song I'm Yours which goes into his philosophy about giving and love like it was written by a college flunky on MDMA.

The guys invite first time guests Chris and Crissy to talk about the elephant in the holiday room... Baby, It's Cold Outside. Is it as bad as people say? Is it worse? We have a lengthy discussion about the lyrics, consent, and modern covers.

Special Guests: Chris DeNoto and Crissy DeNoto.

The guys talk about the Warrant hit single that almost never was: Cherry Pie. Written at the last moment and changing the course of direction for the band, this song is riddled with terrible lyrics that sound like they were written by a bunch of horny 20-something year olds... oh wait.

Seth and Marc pull the lyrics for Steve Miller Band's Abracadabra out of a big ol' hat to tatalk about how terrible they are. Apparently about a variety of things including Diana Ross, the Original Amateur Hour, and panties with angels' faces on them, this song is a doozy. Unfortunately, they are not able to make them disappear.

The guys get into the depths of the lyrics to REO Speedwagon's monster ballad Keep On Loving You. Known for its chorus proclaiming a never-ending love, the verses tell a much bleaker story that is often overshadowed.

A monster-sized episode! The guys are back after a mini vacation and have the immense joy to talk about the did-you-know-ness of You Can Call Me Al. How deep can a song with Chevy Chase lip sync-ing the lyrics in the music video get? You be the judge. Also, a big announcement!

The guys listen to the 1979 ZZ Top ode to shitty eyewear... Cheap Sunglasses. Partially about the titular glasses, it's also about stalking a woman because hey! Why not?

Seth and Marc would like to make themselves believe... that these lyrics are not complete ass. The guys stay up late poring over the lyrics to the nonsense insomniac diddy Fireflies by Owl City. A song about getting hugs ad learning to dance from bugs. Okay...