The Real Marriage Podcast

Dreams can be difficult.

On the one hand we get excited about what could be and striving for more.  On the other hand not all of our dreams should be the focus of our attention.  How do you balance this in your marriage?

Listen to an open conversation about a recent dream that was crushed in Heather's life and how it sparked a great conversation between Griffin and Heather.  You will hear them unpack the different way they approach dreams and how their faith plays a massive role in what they pursue.

While life seems to get busier by the day the distractions seem to come just as quickly.

Whether it is aimlessly scrolling through social media, watching the random tv shows or however you fill the ever so small blank space you have in your day-to-day it never seems to help us move forward. In other words, our distractions can hold us back.  

This episode is a conversation we try to always keep in front of us.  Are we spending our time on the right things?  Are we focused? Are we overwhelmed and overdoing our schedule?

While we aren't perfect in this space and fall into the traps of not being as intentional with our time we know that we need rest and to prioritize putting our time into the things that matter most.  This episode will challenge you to do the same.  

You probably have many goals for the new year.  

Getting healthy physically and maybe spiritually.  Goals for your kids and relationships.  

What if sex and intimacy was a part of your goals this year?  When God created marriage He made it to where sex is a major component of strengthening and protecting a marriage.  It is a blessing that we get to take part in.

However, as life goes on and we get busier and more overwhelmed by our responsibilities our intimacy in marriage can take a backseat.  And slowly, your start to grow a part and assumptions are made and bitterness and confusion can step it.

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin openly talk about the significance sex and intimacy should play in your marriage.  They unpack the challenges you deal with as well as the reality of how it becomes less of a priority.  But in the end, the right approach in your marriage should make sex and intimacy better as you move forward.  

Somehow the year is already over.

Another year down and 2024 is now to come.  One of the practices we try to do often is reflecting on where we have been and what we have been through.  

For us, 2023 has been full of new challenges as well as circumstances to celebrate.  Listen and hear us unpack our takeaways from the year.  From challenges with kids and work, learning how to keep maturing and finding more ways to unify as a couple, we experienced plenty this past year.  There will be plenty that you resonate with.  

Do you ever feel like you and your spouse aren't on the same page?  Do you feel like you are headed in two different directions? 

Sometimes in our marriage one spouse can change as time goes on.  Your passions, your beliefs, your core values can grow as you do but your spouse doesn't come along with you.  This can be common for many marriages when life change happens like having kids, moving to a new area or changing jobs. It can be the reason couples decide to split up because thinking about a lifelong partnership with someone who isn't growing like you are can be daunting.  

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin talk about the many challenges they have heard couples go through with this particular issue.  Also hear some encouragement on how to approach your spouse in a healthy way to spark healthy growth in them. 

Yes, it is a blessing!

Last episode we unpacked the burden of parenting.  One thing we noticed was how easy it was to think about those ideas.  The blessings were a little more in depth to uncover.  

And that is what makes the blessings so impactful.  The role and responsibility of a parent is so unique and so impactful, the blessing play out for decades.  

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin speak about how they experience blessings now with young kids in the home but also look forward to the built-in lifelong blessing of relationships with their children for a lifetime.  

Parenting is forever.

The word "burden" carries a negative connotation but the reality is that parenting is both beautiful and difficult.  At the very least the incredible responsibility of parenthood can feel like a burden in one way or another.  Because it is so constant and is a role you carry for so long it's worth understanding what the experience is truly like. 

Listen and hear Griffin and Heather share what parenting has felt like to them.  They discuss how they have experienced the weight of their role as mom and dad and what they have learned as they have partnered together to lead their five children for the last ten years.  

How can bitterness negatively impact your marriage?

It's one of those things that starts small but if not dealt with it grows into something you can't control.  Each of us have frustrations towards our spouse for whatever reason but if we allow feelings to linger it will create issues down the road we won't want to face.

Listen and hear Griffin and Heather unpack their experiences with bitterness both in and out of their marriage.  You will hear them discuss the communication tools that are essential to avoiding bitterness and how it gets harder to do once you have kids.  

You've probably heard this before: marriage is 50/50.

But is it really?  When you step back and think about the different areas of your marriage and the specific roles you play it isn't always equal.  Sometimes it's 70/30 or even less.  Even the capacity we have in certain seasons to be "all-in" can vary and more often than not one of the spouses is carrying more than 50 percent of the weight at a given time.

Listen and hear Griffin and Heather unpack how this plays out in their own lives.  They speak into work, parenting, dreams, money and more. 

It's another season change.

Summer is usually a time where we try to fit in vacations, find some rest and get the kids into as many things as possible to keep them busy. But if we aren't careful we can easily overdo the schedule and leave the summer feeling more tired and burned out than ever.  

So, what does a set apart summer look like?  Could it be an intentional time for your family?

Listen and hear a conversation about a healthy approach to what the summer could be and why you may want to change it up this year.  

It almost sounds like an outdated word.

What does modesty look like is 2023?  Is it even something worth focusing on?

In part two of our "Set Apart" series we dive into this topic.  You will hear Griffin and Heather walk through their process of figuring out as a couple how they wanted to approach modesty.  And while it's easy to focus on the surface level ideas about what we wear and how we carry ourselves, listen and hear a conversation about what is beneath the surface with this topic. It's more about why we do what we do. 

The longer we are married the deeper our conversations get about who we want to become.  

We talk a lot about our foundation, the growth areas of our lives and what we truly care the most about.

For us, we want a marriage and a life that is set a part.  Free from what the world and culture is chasing, which by the way doesn't seem to work out for many people anyway, and driven towards what is most important.

That is a life centered around fully pursuing Jesus and what the Lord designed us for.  What we have learned is that this is a life that is set apart.  It is challenging, it's fulfilling and it is a beautiful journey.

Join us for the next few episodes as we dig into what a marriage set apart looks like.  

Whether it is at work, with kids and parents, your faith and any other relationship you can think of we all prefer values more than rules.  

No one wants to be dictated to or forced to follow a rigid set of rules because their is no heart to that.

Parameters and boundaries are helpful but they are more powerful when they are based around a set of values that establish those boundaries.  

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin discuss how this impacts the culture of your family.  In marriage, parenting or faith we want to project and understand that value of how we function and how we operate.  Communicating values instead of rules to our children sets them up to know they why behind the what.  Hear how values are greater than rules in every aspect of life.  

There is a difference between being busy and being fruitful.  

Life is jam-packed.  You've noticed that there aren't enough hours in the day and that you always have more to get done.  

The tendency is to believe the lie that being busy is the best way to be.  That if you're busy you are moving forward and keeping up.  We live in an age of "hustle culture" telling you to spread yourself across as many things as possible to get ahead.  

The truth is that the goal is to be fruitful not busy.  

Listen and hear how we are learning to be careful not to overextend what we commit ourselves to and ensure that we are wise with what we are pouring ourselves into.  

Have you ever been told you are too emotional?

What about hearing that you don't show enough emotion?  Most likely, your emotional makeup is different between you and your spouse.  One of you wears them on your sleeve while the other keeps them close to the vest and doesn't show much at all.

This can be a sticking point for many relationships.  Not understanding, valuing and caring for each others emotions can do damage to your marriage.  It can keep you from growing and moving forward because this is foundational to a long-term relationship.

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin talk openly about the challenges they have encountered throughout their marriage and even their lives based on how emotional they are or aren't.  You will also hear tips on how to navigate this ever present part of your connection with your spouse.  

Do you have clutter in your life? 

As the weeks and months fly by it becomes so easy to get busy and overwhelmed with everything.  We get farther away from what our goals were at the beginning of the year and things begin to pile up.  Business becomes a major challenge.  

It's easy to start losing focus of the main things we should give our attention to.  Our marriage, kids, faith, etc.  It may be time for some spring cleaning in your life.  

The real reason we feel like we have a successful and growing marriage is because of God's involvement in our everyday lives.

We talk often about how God has led us or shown us something.  So, can you really hear from God?  What does that exactly mean and can that happen for you?

There are so many questions when it comes to faith but when it comes down to it, us hearing from God has been a game-changer.  Listen and hear how we have learned to be connected to our Heavenly Father in a way that allows us to hear from Him in our lives.  Hopefully it inspires you to pursue the same for your life and marriage.  

Last episode we tried to answer a common question people ask us.  How do you balance it all?

The truth is that it is very difficult.  It's a constant conversation of where we are lacking and how we should adjust.  

This week we touch on the different area of our life that each of us has had the toughest challenge with balance.  Heather speaks on the challenges of having to focus on the kids throughout most of our marriage and feeling like she isn't able to give Griffin enough.  And Griffin shares to difficulties of balancing work and family as he has adjusted to the demands of pursuing success with work while making sure to give the family the best he has to offer.

One of the most common questions people ask us is how do you balance it all?

It's a great question and it's forced us to really think hard about how we approach all that we have going on in our lives.

It certainly isn't easy and it was harder in the beginning.  For us, believe it or not, it has gotten somewhat easier the more we have added.  We have matured and learned so much along the way but the balancing act will always be a challenge for us. 

In this episode we talk about our journey to learn how to handle all that we have.  We share some of the harder areas we each struggle with and some solid tips we have picked up along the way to get better and better about managing all that we have. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Fights and disagreements happen for various reasons.  Whether it is stress induced, miscommunication, using the wrong tone at the wrong time, etc. conflict is just a part of the marriage equation. 

So, when your spouse lets you down or puts you in a difficult position how do you handle it?  Do you respond with love and patience or are you more prone to being frustrated, annoyed or bitter towards them?

In this episode Heather and Griffin get real about a recent conflict they had with each other.  You will hear how Griffin put Heather in a really tough spot and they unpack the decision Heather had to make to either humbly make the situation better or respond in a way that would put gas on the flames.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

It's been nine months since our last episode and so much has happened with the Gilstrap in that time.

Covid, new home, new job, new school for the kids and a new baby is just the beginning of our last nine months. 

We share it all in our first episode of season six along with the challenges we have faced as a couple and as a family throughout the process. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

In this episode Griffin and Heather give an update on their move to North Carolina and what that means for the future of The Real Marriage Podcast.  

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

How do you know it’s God’s voice?

We received this awesome question last week and got really excited to talk about it.  Of course, we are Christians and are seeking to grow in our faith every single day.  That journey has led to daily wanting to be led by the Lord in our thoughts, decisions and way we live our lives.

For us, with so much responsibility as spouses, parents and leaders we do not want to do it on our own.  Everyone is looking to someone or something for guidance and direction in this life to lead us to the type of success we are looking for.  Unfortunately, many voices and directions don’t work.  For us, it has to be the Lord.

In this episode Griffin and Heather discuss what it even means to hear from the Lord.  They talk about how God speaks to them differently and how they practically approach trying to hear from God daily.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Your greatest strength is your greatest weakness.

At first glance it keep seem a bit odd.  But the more you think about personalities it makes total sense.  Your strength in one area of your life is great but can create a weakness in other areas.  Maybe you are very driven which allows you to thrive at work but it causes you to give less to your family.  Or, you are extremely creative which produces amazing things but on the flip side it means you struggle to stick to one thing at a time.  The list goes on.

This can be felt in marriage in a major way.  Our strengths can often create blind spots.  We believe that a strength in one area of our lives is a strength in every area.  However, our spouses can see it from all angles.

In this episode you will hear Griffin and Heather talk about specific ways they have handled this in their own marriage.  You will hear them be very honest about some of their own blindspots and how they have embraced the fact that their strengths can also come across as a weakness to each other. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Stress can come unannounced.

Life seems to pile up the challenges quickly.  Circumstances can change in an instant and so many things can happen that you just aren't ready for. 

Griffin and Heather have walked into a season just like this.  And even though what they are walking into are all good things  the stress has come very fast. 

In this episode Griffin and Heather talk about how they are trying to approach the upcoming stressful season.  With a fifth child on the way and moving the whole family to a new state for a brand new job it is critical to approach it well.

You will hear the different ways Griffin and Heather approach their stress and also what they do together as a couple to be proactive.  They touch on the significance of their faith in these seasons and how that helps keep them in the right mindset to take it all on in the healthiest way possible. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Ten years of marriage.

The old cliche is definitely true, time flies when you are having fun!  It feels like yesterday that Heather was hitting on Griffin on the first day of our freshman year at Stetson University.  And here we are with four kids and one on the way about to move our whole lives to a new state!  It's been a great ride.

As we reflected on our first ten years of marriage we realized that we have learned so many key lessons in these critical years together.  Some of it we have shared on the podcast before and some of it we haven't.  Our goal is to share these lessons  in hopes that it can be a blessing to your marriage. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Life is full of surprises!

We didn't anticipate taking a break this early in the year but so much has happened in March for our family.  As overwhelming as our two announcements are we feel incredibly blessed and excited about what God is doing in our lives.

Take a listen and hear some big updates from the Gilstrap family!

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Who should be leading your marriage?

Should anyone lead a marriage?  Isn’t it supposed to be an equal partnership with mutual share of the decision making?

Honestly, it can get complicated quickly.  Many of us grew up and saw different things.  Maybe you were in a single-parent home where a mom had to really step up and take care of a lot of things on their own.  Maybe it was more traditional in the sense that the father felt like he needed to be in control and the decision maker of the house.  Many families have one spouse that has a type A personality which can make the other spouse much more quiet and in the background.  Of course, some families have it where the wife is far more dominant in the relationship and the man is quiet, subdued and passive.

You can see many variables can be had but what is the right way to go about it?

In this episode we talk through the different ways both spouses can take a leadership role in the family.  We discuss the ways it can become a give and take and learning how to get to a place where you can identify what strengths each of you brings to the table where you can allow them to lead in those areas.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Should your marriage make you happy?

It seems like an obvious answer.  I mean, we didn't get married to feel unhappy with someone for the next 50 years.  We want it to be fun and positive.  We want to enjoy marriage.

But what do we do when our spouse doesn't make us happy?  How should we feel when they frustrate us or disappoint us?  As much as we want to feel happy with each other all of the time we can't avoid feeling challenged, upset and sometimes even angry with them.

Maybe marriage is meant to create deeper feelings than happiness.  Maybe there is far more to gain from this journey.

Listen and hear Griffin and Heather share how marriage has made them feel far more than happiness.  You will hear how expecting happiness can be difficult in marriage and why that should really be a secondary goal because there are much stronger feelings to experience through your marriage that will be a much greater blessing.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

"Rut" - A habit or pattern of behavior that has become dull and unproductive but is hard to change.

Yep, we've all been there.  Whether it's your job, your schedule, your marriage or even your parenting we've all been in a rut.  Our excitement has waned and our enthusiasm for life in general has tumbled as a result. 

Although these seasons of life are common they are also potentially dangerous.  When one spouse or both are going through a season like this it can spill over into the marriage quickly.  And let's face it, we bring things home with us.  Our spouse can easily become the outlet of our negative feelings and emotions. 

So, how do we handle these "ruts" in the right way?

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin talk candidly about their very real struggles in this area.  You will hear them open up about the challenges they have faced over the past ten years and how they have learned to not only notice when their spouse is in a rut but also how to approach them in a way that helps them get out of it.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Waiting is hard.

Many of us have had to wait to get married, to have kids, to get that promotion or to walk into our dreams.

Waiting is a consistent part of our journey and it's something we want to thrive in.  The challenge is learning to wait well and to not allow the waiting to be wasted.  Because the reality is that the seasons of your life where you are waiting can either be a catalyst for growth or a reason for struggle.  

Listen and hear Griffin and Heather share the difficult areas of their life and marriage where they have had a season of waiting.  You will hear in depth about the hardest times in each of their lives where they have had to wait on something significant.  And discover three key ways you and your spouse can learn to wait well.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Most people don't like change. 

The anxiety of it.  The unknowns you have to face.  Change is hard for individuals and it can create unexpected stress for your marriage.  However, we all understand that change is inevitable.

Whether it is having kids for the first time, moving to a new state, changing jobs or a change to your life that you didn't even ask for we all face transitions.  The question is how well do we handle the change that comes our way?

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin have an honest discussion about the hardest changes they have faced since getting married.  You will hear about the challenges of parenthood, adulthood and dealing with the weight of responsibility that they weren't ready for.  And hear the biggest mistake they made early on when facing their big life transitions. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

How can you make sure you don't lose yourself in your marriage?

It's a good question with a complicated answer.  God created marriage for two people to become one.  It's a lifelong journey of merging two lives together to make something amazing. It takes compromise and sacrifice of yourself to do it well.

But, on the other hand, there is something special about each individual.  And if we aren't careful we can lose those special pieces of the puzzle and regret it years from now.  This really is a challenge that can be so subtle for years and become a major challenge before you know it. 

Listen and hear three ways Griffin and Heather have learned how to protect their individuality in their marriage.  You will hear how challenging this can be with children and why spending time away from each other can sometimes be the best thing to do. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

“It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish.”

Maybe you have heard that quote before from a coach or a parent sometime in your life.  It makes sense.  It’s all about the finish.  But let’s be honest, a good start gets you to the finish you want much quicker.  

Most people are elated that 2020 is over and 2021 has begun.  It’s like a fresh start that we all needed.  We want new, different and better this year.  So let’s do it!

Of course, it’s easier said than done.  It takes intentionality to get started the right way.

We thought we would kick off this season talking about how we are starting.  Some things we always do and some things we knew we just simply needed to do this year because of the world we currently live in. 

Listen and hear the four specific things Heather and Griffin are doing to start 2021 right and how Heather's Amazon purchases are already causing Griffin stress!

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

You can’t wait for this year to end.  We get it!

It’s been a year unlike any other.  We have all been challenged in ways we never expected and are hoping that a fresh new year will provide something better.

But, before you get ahead of yourself, have you considered how important these next 31 days are?  Think about it.  2021 will not magically create an easier life for us.  You know you will face challenges there as well.  

Whatever you are hoping to see happen next year you will play a major role and creating that success.  So, before we write off this year and try to move on maybe we should make the most of what we have left of it.  And what if the way you approach December could be the reason your 2021 heads in the direction you really hope it will? 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Nothing gets you into the holiday spirit more than some family drama.

Let's face it.  We all deal with some kind of tension when it comes to our families.  It could be a broken relationship, some challenging in-laws or even something one person said years ago that still lingers in the back of your mind.  And for whatever reason family drama can be the worst kind.  As much as you try to get over it and learn how to deal with it the feelings can still exist. 

So what do we do?  And even if we can't change the people we will be around what are some ways to approach this in a healthy way?

With the holiday season upon us we need to talk about how to manage these tensions.  Listen and hear Griffin and Heather talk about their own challenges with family.  You will hear some encouragement for how to approach this well as a married couple.  You will also hear which holiday is their least favorite and Heather's will surprise you!

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Purpose – the reason for which something is done or created.  The reason for which something exists.

Everyone wants to know their purpose.  We want to understand why we exist and how we bring value to this world.

Whether it be through work, parenting, our marriage or how we serve people we strive to know and feel like we are valuable.   We have to know that our life has meaning.

In this episode you will hear Heather and Griffin share openly about their journey to find their purpose and how that has impacted their marriage.  You will hear why it was much easier for Griffin than it was for Heather and how you can help your spouse find their purpose. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

When things are going wrong we all cling to something. 

How is this season going for you?  The pandemic is continuing to linger, the election has been predictably stressful and life in general seems to be confusing and at times, overwhelming. 

Of course, most of this is out of our control and we can't do a whole lot to change it.  So, what do we do?

 In this episode you will hear Griffin and Heather discuss openly how critical their faith is for them in this season.  You will hear when their faith became real to each of them and why it is helping each of them and their marriage in such a chaotic time of life for all of us. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

How intimate is your marriage?

Intimacy is key to every marriage.  The basic definition of intimacy is "closeness."  Many have broken this idea into four categories: spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.

While we all strive to be more intimately connected to our spouse we have to understand that there are subtle ways to kill intimacy in your marriage.  This episode brings light to different intimacy killers and what you can do to avoid them as a couple.

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin share honestly about which area of intimacy they struggle with the most.  You will also hear why having sex often doesn't necessarily mean you are intimately connected to your spouse. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.
 

How does money impact your marriage?

Research has found that money issues are one of the top five reasons for divorce.  And one study found that finances are one of the top two issues couples fight about.  Most likely, money has become an issue in your relationship for one reason or another. 

So, knowing that, how can we approach money in a way that doesn't ruin our marriages? 

Listen and hear Griffin and Heather walk through four specific areas where they will not allow money to hurt their marriage.  You will hear about the hardest lessons they had to figure out and how money became their biggest tension point early in their marriage. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

What comes to your mind when you hear the word forgiveness?

Most of us think of a time when someone hurt us.  They said something or did something that left a mark.  Maybe it was a family member, your spouse or even a decision you made yourself that created a reason to bring unforgiveness into your life.

Forgiveness is hard but it is essential.  It's essential because choosing not to forgive will always end up harming yourself. 

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin share openly about the challenges of forgiveness.  You will hear practical advice on how to forgive yourself, your spouse and other people in your life.  You will also hear ways they work together as a couple to find forgiveness in challenging circumstances.  Make sure to listen all the way to the end to hear a step by step process on how to find forgiveness towards someone. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Can two people really fall out of love?

It’s a really good question.  No one gets married and doesn’t think they are in love.  No one really believes five or ten years down the road it isn’t going to work out and you will be looking to start over fresh away from your spouse.

However, it is something you hear about.  “We aren’t in love anymore.”  “We have just grown apart.”  “It’s just better to go our separate ways.”

So, what does that actually mean?  And if this is something that could happen to us, how can we avoid it?

Listen and hear Griffin and Heather talk about how people can drift apart over time.  You will hear how they see love differently than a lot of people and ways you can avoid falling out of love.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Is your bedroom sacred?

Before you google what that even means think for a moment about the culture of your home.  We all create an environment in our home every day and we should be intentional about what environment is being formed.

So, when it comes to your bedroom it may be the most important area for your marriage.  It's where "the magic happens", it's where important decisions are made and it's where you go to connect and rest.

In this episode you will hear Heather and Griffin explain the importance of protecting the culture of your home and specifically your bedroom.  You will hear what they cannot talk about in their room and how Heather convinced Griffin to value spending money to make their room look nicer!

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

How do you deal with your stress?

It's a good question.  Unfortunately, it's not one we ask enough of ourselves.  Stress is simply unavoidable.  The nature of our lives creates so many challenges and difficulties that stress is inevitable.  It can come from finances, work, family relationships, uncertainty of your future, and the list goes on.

Stress impacts your marriage all the time.  Even if only one spouse is feeling it you will find it creep into your relationship in some fashion.  A shorter tone, bad habits being created, less communication, etc.  It will have an impact.

In this episode Griffin and Heather talk about healthy ways to deal with your stress.  They share personally about how much their faith helps in this area of their lives and some unhealthy outlets that can be crippling to you or your marriage.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Would you like to have better sex? 

Okay, don’t answer out loud.  But, let’s be honest about a few things.  Sex is important.  And we want it to be really good because it helps our marriage.

So what does that really look like?  The world we live in loves to celebrate all kinds of sex outside of the marriage covenant.  It's almost as if to say that sex within marriage is one of the least exciting ways to experience sex.  And we know that many things can get in the way causing our sexual experience in marriage to be a challenge.  

However, we know from scripture that God created sex for marriage.  Sex is meant to build and strengthen our marriage because it was made for it. 

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin speak openly about how they approach having a better experience with sex in their marriage.  You will hear about what they recently did that they haven't done in eight years and why Griffin believes sex should be the dessert and not the entrée. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

We all need a rhythm.

Think about it.  We love music when it's in a rhythm. When the rhythm of a song is off we can't connect with it.  Even if the words are powerful we need the rhythm to be spot on.

Have you ever thought that we are the same way with our marriage and our own individual lives?  When your lives are out of rhythm everything is affected.  Maybe you don't feel as healthy, you aren't eating as well, you don't have as much quality time for yourself or with your spouse, etc.  Countless things can take you out of it but we thrive when we are in the right rhythm.

In this episode Griffin and Heather speak openly about how to create a rhythm for marriage.  They unpack the importance of valuing the health of your mind, body and heart.  They speak openly about the impact on their lives when one or more of those three key aspects of their lives is negatively impacted and how they fight to make sure they stick to the rhythm they have created. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Let's talk about divorce.

We've all heard the statistics that show somewhere near 50% of marriages end in divorce in America.  While that number is staggering it also seems as if it's just become common knowledge in our culture.  Simply put, no-one who gets married believes it will end in divorce but so many couples eventually end up walking away from each other. 

Many of us grew up in a family that experienced divorce and for some it was just the normal.  We don't want it to be normal.  We want your marriage to thrive and last a lifetime.

Listen and hear Griffin and Heather discuss the top three reasons for divorce and how to keep your marriage from crumbling because of those reasons.  You will hear some personal experience from both of their upbringings and also why divorce is a word that is never mentioned in the Gilstrap home. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Most of us dream of having children. 

Starting a family and raising up the next generation behind us gives us so much value and creates the legacy we leave behind.  When you are first married its fun to talk about how many kids you want to have and building a list of potential names creates excitement as you look ahead to your future family. 

Of course, having kids changes so much.  And like so many other aspects of life you really don't know the impact until it happens.  And these days people have a not so positive view of raising children and building a family.  If you listen closely many couples are weary, overwhelmed and seemingly joyless when it comes to their kids.

Listen and hear Griffin and Heather speak in depth about how their four children have changed their marriage.  You will hear how they have navigated the challenges of those changes but more importantly you will hear how much of a blessing it has been to their lives and marriage to have and raise children. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Each of you has a role to play. 

Have you ever been on a team or in an organization where you didn't fully understand your role?  The coach or boss had high expectations for you but you had no idea how to live up to them.  You didn't have any clarity on what it meant to succeed or help the organization move forward.  It's a frustrating place to be.

It's no different in marriage.  When we don't have clarity and don't fully understand what we bring to the table and how we help our marriage and family move forward it creates a lot of issues between a couple.

Listen and hear Griffin and Heather discuss how they navigated this challenge.  You will hear them share candidly about specific areas of their relationships where they didn't always understand what role they played and even times when they didn't feel appreciated for the strengths they brought into the marriage.   

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

How well do you handle your weaknesses?

Marriage has a crazy way of bringing out both the best and the worst of you.  You really are on full display with the person you love the most and it can truly be humbling.

Last week Heather spoke about her struggle with knowing her identity and the impact that has had on her life and her marriage.

This week it's Griffin's turn.  You will hear Griffin unpack a challenge he has faced for a long time that really came out in marriage.  It's a struggle many men face but may not fully understand the implications it has on their wives.  You will hear a candid conversation between Griffin and Heather about how this challenge has impacted them and how they are trying to move forward to overcome it together. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

No one likes to focus on their weakness.

In fact, we would much rather focus on someone else's issues so we don't necessarily have to face our own.  While that is a normal defense mechanism for all of us it might cause you to miss out on something special.

If marriage has taught us one thing its that neither of us are perfect.  Not that we thought we were but now we know we are far from it!  We say often that "marriage is a mirror."  It teaches you way more about yourself than it does your spouse if you are willing to see it. 

For the next two episodes we want to focus on each of our biggest weaknesses.  Why?  Because as we have discovered them, accepted them and worked through them together it has made our marriage incredibly stronger.  Take that in.  Our individual weaknesses have made us collectively stronger.  

Listen and hear Heather biggest weakness and how Griffin has helped and hindered the process of growing through it.  You will hear Heather be incredibly vulnerable about her story, her struggle and ultimately how she is finding victory over her weakness. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Something happened with us recently.

It was a regular night.  We were in bed hanging out like usual and then we just started talking about our story.  We went back years to even before we met.  We walked through how we got together and even dug into some of the harder parts of our story.

It was incredible.  Why?  Because it showed us how far we have come.  How much we have walked through, overcome and experienced in our marriage so far.  The more we talked the more proud we were because it felt like in that moment we were truly owning our story.

Every couple has a story.  Yes, they are all different and some have been harder journeys than others but simply put, there is power in your story. 

In this episode you will hear why it is important for you to spend time owning your own story.  Even as an individual to realize where you have come from to get to this point you are at today.  We don't spend nearly enough time appreciating all that we have experienced to be where we are today with our spouse.  Something changes when you own your story.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

It's safe to say that most of us feel like life can be overwhelming.  Forget the fact that we are in a pandemic and chaos is constantly happening in our world. 

Our schedule, responsibilities and everyday life can leave us feeling stressed out and at the end of our selves.  The consequences of that?  It usually impacts not only your individual selves but your relationship with the people closest to you.

In this episode, hear the importance of finding a flow for your marriage, your schedule and your family.  Griffin and Heather talk about how they have had to adjust how they operate as the family has grown and life has gotten extremely busy.  The goal of this episode is to encourage every couple to take control of the narrative of their lives and marriage.  To find a way not to simply survive but to thrive.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

What does a wife really want from her husband?

Last week's episode unpacked the importance of respect.  Every man wants to be respected.  And this week, Griffin and Heather touch on how every woman wants to be loved well in her marriage.

It sounds broad and simplistic doesn't it?  But when you dig a little deeper you realize that different seasons of a woman's life produce a need for a different kind of love from her husband.  A wife desires to be loved a certain way when she's pregnant and then maybe another way when she has two teenagers to parent.  There is nuance and circumstance that comes in to play.  So, how can you get to a place in your marriage where the wife constantly feels loved by her husband?

Listen and hear how Heather feels about the need to feel loved by Griffin and where they have had to share openly about times when this need wasn't being met in the way Heather needed. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

What does every husband want?

Of course, one thing comes to mind immediately, but that's too obvious!  Let's dig deeper than that.  Every husband has a desire that is a key ingredient to a healthy marriage.  It's something a man is not only looking for but hoping for because it is directly tied to their worth and overall value.  So, what is it?

Respect.

That's right, every man desires respect and a wife plays a key role in providing that for him on a consistent basis.  In this special episode listen and hear Heather ask some very direct questions to Griffin about the importance of respect in their relationship.  You will hear Griffin share openly about how he can feel disrespected in their marriage and he will also touch on the difficult topic of submission in a marriage.  Should a wife really submit to their husband as the bible says?

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

How high are your expectations?

Have you ever been disappointed in your spouse because they didn't live up to standard you had for them?  Have you ever let your self down because you didn't accomplish something you set out to do?

We all understand expectations.  We carry them with us everyday in every situation we are in.  We also love to place them on ourselves and others.  Think about it.  You expect a lot from people when you are driving, when you are near them, when you call them on the phone, etc.  You definitely expect a lot from your spouse and kids and for sure you place high expectations on none other than yourself.

Did you know that expectations can be dangerous?  Don't take our word for it, just Google it.  They can be damaging and lead you down a difficult path.  But, what if you could break free from them and find a healthier alternative for your life and your marriage?

Listen and hear the way Heather and Griffin have changed their entire outlook on what it means to have expectations.  In this episode you will hear how often Griffin thought they would have sex in the beginning and why changing the word expectations to one other word could be a game changer for you and your spouse.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

It's been a season like no other.

In fact, we may never go through something like this again.  At least, let's hope that is the case!

The quarantine put life on hold and it also altered our everyday lives in ways many of us probably didn't anticipate.  We had to work from home, homeschool our kids, avoid most public places and try to follow the ever-changing news that seemed to be different each and every hour.

To put it in a nutshell, it's been a stressful and challenging season.

In this episode Griffin and Heather talk about what they have learned from the quarantine.  They touch on their own individual lives, their marriage and what they hope will change for the better looking towards the future as we come out of this quarantine. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

You didn't want to be in this situation.

Life is hard as it is so when we face a difficulty such as the coronavirus we really find ourselves searching for answers.  And, if the virus isn't impacting you as much, it may be a financial challenge, marriage challenges or financial uncertainty.  In other words, we all walk through bad situations.

So, how can we make the most of it?  How can we approach the difficult periods of our life and marriage in a way that helps us grow and come out stronger on the other side of it?

Listen and hear practical and even surprising tips on how to have the right approach to difficult situations you will face as a couple.  You will hear why you should do less when times are tough and also why Griffin and Heather got married for the second time this past week in their house!

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Sometimes life throws you a curveball.

The unexpected happens and you simply weren't ready for it.  As much as you planned ahead, thought things through and tried to anticipate sometimes life hits hard.

The world has come to a halt because of the coronavirus.  It is impacting everyone of us in different ways.  And at different times in our lives we will be hit with unexpected challenges that will test our marriages.  Whether it is infertility, job loss, family issues, financial insecurity and so on we must be ready to take on the challenges of life together.  We must protect and guard our marriage no matter what we may have to walk through. 

Listen and hear advice on how to protect your marriage when you face an unanticipated crisis.  And find out why the whole Gilstrap family had to sleep in the copy room at their church because of a crisis in their own lives. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Hindsight is 20/20.

As amazing as it is to be engaged and in the newlywed stage there is so much you don't know about yourself, each other and marriage in general.  And you better believe the longer you are married the more you learn.  And some of it you just have to learn the hard way.

Listen and hear some powerful truths Griffin and Heather have learned in nine years that they wish they knew before they were married.  You will even hear about comparing yourselves to other couples, why your identity can never be found in your spouse and why Griffin loves how Heather looks more when she doesn't wear makeup.  

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Why is it so hard to say "I'm Sorry?"

In marriage you inevitably encounter trials of many kinds and you have to figure out the right way to overcome it and move forward.  What we have learned in nine years is that one of the absolute best ways to start the healing process after a conflict is to say those two words.

Listen and hear whether Heather or Griffin is better at saying "I'm sorry" to the other.  And hear what a good apology actually sounds like and why you may not be doing it right in your marriage.  

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Do you feel like your marriage could be more sexy?

The word sexy means a few different things.  Yes, it has to do with the romantic aspect of your relationship but it's bigger than that.  Every couple wants to keep their marriage interesting and exciting.  None of us want our marriage to fall into a systematic routine without anything spontaneous.  We want it to continue to be more and more exciting! So, how can we keep our marriage sexy?

Listen and hear what Griffin and Heather think is the sexiest part of each other.  It's not what you may think!  And hear different ways they try to make sure their marriage stays interesting and exciting. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

You asked and we answered.

We received some incredible and personal questions from our listeners.  From dealing with petty fights, to finding closure and healing from our miscarriages and how to know when it's time to make the next big step in life together, we answer it all.

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin talk in detail about what they do in their free time.  And hear why learning how to grieve is an important way to move forward through difficulties in your marriage.  

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

How well do you make decisions?

You may have heard the quote that "life is a series of choices" and that couldn't be more true.  The older we get and the longer we are married the more significant our decisions are. Every decision you make impacts your spouse, your children and your future.

Listen and hear Heather and Griffin grade each other on their decision making skills.  Also, hear four practical and insightful ways to avoid making bad decisions as a couple.  

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

How well do you recover from a fight?

Maybe it takes longer than you would like.  Or, maybe your arguments continue to get louder and more hurtful and you aren't experiencing any kind of recovery.  If fights and arguments are unavoidable (which is the reality) then how can we learn to recover better after we have them? 

In this episode Griffin and Heather share candidly about some of their most memorable fights and how they have learned to recover from them.  You will also hear some practical "do's and don'ts" to make sure your marriage learns how to recover well.  

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

What does it mean to have a Christ-centered marriage?

At the heart of Griffin and Heather's marriage is a pursuit of something bigger than themselves.  The desire to have their relationship with Christ at the core of everything they do has changed everything for them.

It's what provides a solid foundation in each of their lives.  It creates a joy for them that nothing else could produce.  It is the most powerful aspect of their marriage.  

Listen and hear how Heather and Griffin got to the point where they desired a Christ-centered marriage.  You will also hear how they practically approach this pursuit everyday and Griffin shares how much pressure it takes off of him as a husband and father.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

It has taken over!

Social media and technology are such a big part of the fabric of our lives now.  We rely on it, we enjoy it and we run to it often.  The average American spends six hours a day watching television and over two hours a day on social media.

While there are many positives to tech and social media they also create challenges not only for us as individuals but also for our entire family dynamic. 

Listen and hear how Heather and Griffin have navigated the good and the bad of technology.  Hear why Heather has decided to "put her phone to bed" at night and what they believe a healthy approach can look like for you, your marriage and your family.  

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

Everyone has baggage.

You can call it burdens, our past, habits, whatever you may label it as but each of us carries something we wish we didn't have to.

As a married couple you notice that baggage can create challenges within your marriage.  It can also be the unknown cause of why you face difficulties within your relationship as well. 

What if you created a dynamic in your marriage where as a spouse you helped lighten the load for your significant other with whatever they are carrying?  What if you decided to see it as your honor to help your spouse find victory in overcoming the baggage they may be dealing with?

Listen and hear how Heather and Griffin have tackled their own personal baggage through their marriage.  You will hear how challenging it has been but how rewarding it can be to fight through it together. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

What will be different this year? 

We always jump into the new year with a fresh and rejuvenated mindset for our lives.  We set goals, look to make strides and improve in all kinds of areas of our lives.  It’s no different with our marriage.  We felt and experienced many things in 2019 and want to use those to move you forward in a better way in 2020.

In the first episode of season two Heather and Griffin talk about three words that will help your marriage this year.  If you choose to implement even one of these into your marriage on a consistent basis you will see positive growth between you and your spouse this year.  

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

What if one habit could change your marriage for the better?

For us we needed to find a way to communicate more consistently.  With how busy life is because of work, kids and all that encompasses our lives we found that if we weren't intentional about connecting and communicating with each other it probably wouldn't happen.  It definitely wouldn't happen to the level we needed it to.

Maybe you have been there before in your own marriage.  Having trouble talking, making decisions and getting on the same page.

In part two, we talk more about our monthly habit called "Look Back, Look Ahead" where we gather together for a specific time at the end of each month to reflect and dream about what is coming ahead.

This week's episode focuses on the power of dreaming together for the future.  Hear how incredible it has been to have a consistent time to open up about the future of our marriage, work, family and everything in between.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

Choices turn into habits.  And habits determine your future.

What kind of habits do you have with your spouse?  If you are anything like us you are busy and constantly on the move looking ahead to the next thing on the calendar or the "to-do" list.

So when do you find time to intentionally catch up with each other?  We've found that it is absolutely essential in our marriage to consistently connect and this habit has truly changed our marriage. We call it Look Back and Look Ahead.

In part one of this topic we talk in depth about the importance of reflecting as a couple.  At the end of every month we sit down and speak about categories of each of our lives that are essential to us (faith, marriage, parenting, work, etc.) and we rank from 1-10 how that part of our lives went over the past month.

The blessings as a couple that have come from this habit have been incredible for us.  It's a built in time each month where we know we can talk openly, encourage, be vulnerable and connect on a significant level.  We found that if it wasn't planned it probably wouldn't happen.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

Do you ever get frustrated or confused when it comes to your sex life with your spouse?

At times it is good and meeting expectations and then for some reason it changes.  It starts to happen less.  It feels like your spouse isn't as interested but you don't know why.  Or do you ever wonder why you don't feel the sex drive as strong at certain times?

Welcome to the seasons of sex! Since sex is a vital part of your marriage it can create tension, confusion and at times a disconnect within your marriage when the seasons of sex change.   

Listen and hear about the four distinct seasons of sex within a marriage and advice about each season.  You will also hear which season Griffin and Heather feel stuck in and the one they can't wait to get to!

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

What will this holiday season look like for you?

Will you enjoy it?  Will it be stressful? It seems more and more that the normal experience in the holiday season is less and less of what we actually want it to be.

It's meant to be the happiest time of the year but it doesn't often turn out that way.

The culture we live in forces us into a stressful and busy mindset that can leave us exhausted at the end it.  We also run in to the challenges of protecting our calendars, making sure we see all the friends and family we need to and somehow find a way to make it to the work functions we feel obligated to be at. 

Listen and hear three ways Griffin and Heather create boundaries for their marriage and family in the holiday season.  Hear how you can approach boundaries with family, your time and even your self so you can create the memories you want in this part of the year!

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

You were created for connection.

In fact, one of the reasons we get married is so that this need is met. The beauty of marriage is that we get to walk through every season of life with someone we love.  With someone we trust.

This is where it can get tricky.  When you feel disconnected from your spouse you have a huge void to fill.  It negatively impacts you, your marriage and your family. 

While there are countless ways to find yourself disconnected from your spouse, this episode focuses on how to become more connected to your spouse.

Listen and hear Griffin interview professional counselor, Carol Burmood, on how every spouse can work towards stronger and healthier connections with their husband or wife. 

Carol shares a practical three-step process everyone can implement to ensure you stay connected to each other. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

Every marriage has a foundation.

It's what you turn to when times are tough.  It's the glue that holds your marriage together.

There are many different foundations.  Some marriages are built on their sexual attraction, common interests, similar dreams, money being made, the kids or even each other.

The question is will your foundation hold you close together through any and every season of your marriage.  Will it be your protection and strength for the next 25 and 50 years of your lives together?

Listen and hear how Griffin and Heather have learned that the kids and even each other can never be the true foundation of their marriage. 

Hear how their faith is the glue that not only holds them together but is the reason for the strength of their entire marriage.  In this episode You will hear three practical ways to ensure your faith can be the foundation of your marriage. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com.

The old adage is, “Opposites attract.”

Statistics show that most people marry someone that is opposite to them even though most of our friends are more like us.  Maybe we just like the challenge.  Maybe we are intrigued by someone we are not and innately we want to feed off of their different personality and way of thinking.

On the other hand, the moment it sinks in that you and your spouse have less in common than you thought it can get uncomfortable.  And for some of us, it can lead us to a point where we start to wonder whether or not this will work.  Can we really function well together when we have so many differences?  

How do we approach our marriage when we come at it from two totally different perspectives? 

In this episode you will hear where Griffin and Heather aren't necessarily compatible with one another.  And they will share three ways to use your differences to actually build a stronger marriage. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

Money is the most common cause of divorce. 

It's also the main reason married couples have arguments.  So, how do we approach such a tension-filled topic within our own marriage?

The goal of this conversation is to encourage couples to find unity and common ground when it comes to your finances.  Most likely, you and your spouse approach money in two different ways.  One of you may be more tight and cautious and one of you may be more free and spontaneous with your money.  Whatever your context is, money can absolutely be a healthy part of your relationship.

Listen and hear how Griffin and Heather struggled to find healthy ways to unite around their finances.  You will also hear how they have recently found breakthrough in their own marriage by uncovering their own healthy approach.  A few simple steps can change your entire experience with money in your marriage.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

Every relationship involves conflict.  There really is no way to get away from it.

In all reality the goal shouldn't be to completely avoid conflict.  If done well, it can be a blessing to your marriage.  However, if done in an unhealthy way it can make life miserable.

In this episode Heather and Griffin talk personally about four keys to healthy conflict within your marriage.  They discuss how much of a process it has been to get to a healthy place and how their past has impacted the way they struggled with conflict in their marriage. 

Listen and hear why Heather used to run away from Griffin when they would get into an argument!

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

Let’s talk about sex.

It's truly one of the greatest blessings when it comes to marriage.  When God created the covenant of marriage He built in this incredible way a husband and wife could consistently reconnect with one another.  It's one of the most powerful experiences you can have with another person which is why it's meant for marriage.  

That’s the intention. But what happens when sex becomes disappointing?  How can we avoid the frustration of missed expectations and having the wrong approach to sex within our marriage?  

In other words, how can we have the best sex?

In this episode, Heather and Griffin talk about the different desires a husband and wife has when it comes to sex.  They discuss the power of not only understanding what your spouse is looking for from sex but learning to approach sex from that way.  

The best sex happens when we approach our spouse to meet their needs.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

What is the main goal for a parent?

If you are like us you feel the immense responsibility of being a parent.  We want to help our kids grow mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.  The sobering reality is that we have a certain amount of years to do the best we can in all of these areas for each of our kids.  Talk about overwhelming!

For us, we believe the greatest goal we can strive for is directly linked to their faith.  How can we prepare our kids to have a genuine and authentic faith when they leave our homes?  How can we help them not just believe in Jesus but live for Jesus?

As we teach this to our kids at any stage of their lives all of the other goals will become more attainable.  Mainly because when they walk with Jesus we aren't doing this parenting thing alone.  The Lord will be speaking to our kids along with us!

In this episode we share three ways we approach this.  We talk about times we have failed and why we have altered our approach to ensure that our children develop an authentic first-hand faith.

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

Oh, the in-laws.  Why is this so hard?

Of course, most relationships are challenging and take work but this one seems different.  

In this episode, Griffin and Heather talk about the challenges we all face to create healthy relationships with our in-laws.  We discuss how to protect your own marriage from the tension your in-laws can create between you.  We even share some of the trials we’ve faced in our own family dynamics and how it created tension between us.  

We also touch on the Godly perspective we can have as a couple to honor and respect our in-laws.  Regardless of how challenging it may be, we can create a blessing within our own marriage with how we chose to approach our in-law relationships with a unified and Godly approach.  

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

Do you often feel too busy that you can't catch your breathe?  Overwhelmed and stressed by the day-to-day that you and your spouse seem like you never really connect?

It seems like anytime you ask someone how they are these days they give the same answer: "I'm so busy!"  We all can feel like that.  And truthfully its hard to even avoid falling into a routine where your schedule is packed.  Kids, school, work, friends, quiet time... this list doesn't end.  Throw in a Football on Saturday and Sunday and we have nothing left!

In this episode we dive into specific ways to avoid this lifestyle for your family.  We must learn to say "no" based on the set priorities we have committed to as a family and a couple.

As husband and wife we want to get to a point where we consistently communicate what we must say "yes" to so we can help each other say "no" when we need to. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

How would you describe the culture of your marriage?  What words come to mind?

If you are like us you want to create a marriage that lasts.  Something that in 25 years you can look back on and be proud of.  We often think about what our kids will say when someone asks them to explain what their parents were like.  We all have a way to describe the family we grew up in.  How dad spoke to mom.  If they laughed together.  How much they fought. 

How many of us could even describe a healthy marriage culture that we grew up in?

Your marriage is going somewhere.  The challenge is knowing where it's headed.  In this episode we talk about what it looks like to create a culture within your family through your marriage.  God created marriage to be the most powerful human relationship we will ever experience in this life.  This relationship is meant to create a culture that bears fruit in so many areas of your life.  It spills over into your kids, your work, your faith and so much more.  

We talk about practical ways for you and your spouse to approach creating a culture within your family you can be proud of.  How to talk about it and get excited about the future of your marriage.  How to create a culture you want your kids to love. 

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!

For our first episode we want you to know two things:

1) Why did we start The Real Marriage Podcast?
2) Who are Griffin and Heather Gilstrap?

You will hear about how Griffin got Heather to even marry him, how our relationship almost never happened and the heart behind the podcast.

We love marriage, family and faith.  We believe in the power of marriage and how it can impact every aspect of our lives and the world around us.  

Thank you for taking this journey with us!  We hope to strengthen your marriage one conversation at a time.  And don't forget to check out more resources at RealMarriagePodcast.com!