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The Therapy Crouch

The Therapy Crouch

Tall or Nothing

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships.


Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

320 - He Practiced On His EX?! Abbey and Peter React to Outrageous Engagement Secrets!
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  • 320 - He Practiced On His EX?! Abbey and Peter React to Outrageous Engagement Secrets!

    On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back diving into another chaotic Ask Me Anything! The episode kicks off with Abbey and Pete debating chin filler versus Peter's heart-shaped head, and scheming to launch Jordan onto the dating scene as the pod's ultimate eligible bachelor!


    In this week’s listener questions, we hear from someone who has been brutally frozen out by her long-term friendship group simply for getting a boyfriend, prompting Abbey to share her own painful experience of getting cut off by a mate. Another listener is left questioning everything after discovering her fiancé's "perfect" proposal speech was actually test-run and quality-controlled by his ex!


    Plus, we discuss the ultimate intimacy buzzkills, from Kermit the Frog to Postman Pat popping up on shuffle and what happens when you try too hard to be a good Samaritan!


    Submit your AMA’s here!

    https:// docs.google.com/ forms/d/ 1Mv3i0N5Jm1Kkjvd4iUkpJEV1_Tisgq58s iorNb9zS0/viewform? edit_requested=true


    00:00 Introduction

    03:35 Hair Transplants & Heart-Shaped Heads

    06:33 Setting Up Jordan & Finding Him A Date

    08:20 Left Out By My Friendship Group

    10:33 Abbey’s Experience With Being Cut Off

    14:05 He Practiced His Proposal On His Ex!

    17:00 Take Two: Does He Need A Proposal Do-Over?

    18:02 Muppets & Postman Pat In The Bedroom

    20:45 A Therapy Crouch Christmas Number One?

    23:00 Pushing Wheelchairs & Hypochondriac Miracles

    25:12 Abbey & John’s Good Samaritan Nightmares



    To contact us:

    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

    Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/


    For more from Peter

    https://twitter.com/petercrouch


    For more from Abbey

    https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy


    Our clips channel

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Thu, 03 Sep 2026 - 29min
  • 319 - Abbey’s Lawless Nashville Hen Do, Pete’s DIY Golf Course & The 2-Hour Bedroom Dilemma!

    On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey is fresh back from a wild hen do in Nashville and Pete is holding down the fort as the pair broadcast straight from a cosy stolen barn!


    Abbey reveals the harsh truth about Nashville (including the complete lack of real cowboys), wild line dancing classes, and why Alfie was left completely traumatised by the trip. Meanwhile, Pete has grand architectural plans to turn their new driveway into "PC Sawgrass"—much to Abbey’s horror.


    In the Agony Abs, we help a listener who is worried about her overwhelming attraction to older football managers, hear a pitch from a Leeds lad looking for love, and tackle a dilemma about wildly mismatched bedroom stamina! Plus, Abbey shares her top tactical tips on how to secretly fake drink at a wedding when you’re newly pregnant.


    If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below:https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit



    00:00 Welcome to the Barn & Abbey Returns From Nashville

    02:36 Where Are All The Cowboys?

    06:11 Fake AI Photos & The Famous Nashville Dance

    08:53 Pool House Living & Renovation Hell

    13:09 Pete’s Front Garden Golf Hole: "PC Sawgrass"

    18:26 Listener Letters & Alfie’s Hen Do Trauma

    24:45 Eclipse Romance & Sofa Pizza Casualties

    28:45 "I’m Hard To Penetrate" & Making New Friends

    31:28 Lucky Bastard Saloon & Country Music Anthems

    37:01 Agony Abs: Fancying Older Football Managers

    39:05 Blind Date Pitch: Liam From Leeds

    42:04 "Please Stop Talking" & Marriage Quirks

    43:47 Agony Abs: Two-Hour Bedroom Marathons & Compatibility

    46:32 The National Average Sex Stats

    48:51 Agony Abs: How To Fake Drink When Secretly Pregnant

    53:03 Pete’s Upcoming Scotland Golf Trip


    To contact us:

    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

    Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/


    For more from Peter: https://twitter.com/petercrouch

    For more from Abbey: https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

    Our clips channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Tue, 01 Sep 2026 - 54min
  • 318 - “That Is CORRECT!” Abbey and Peter REVEAL Bedroom Confessions, Bulging Discs & Keeping Score!

    On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back answering more of your Ask Me Anythings, and this week things get VERY personal as the pair tackle bedroom confidence, dirty talk and whether getting into the best shape of your life can actually cause problems in your relationship.


    After one listener reveals her newly ripped husband suddenly wants all the lights on in the bedroom, Abbey and Peter debate body confidence before the conversation somehow ends up with rotating beds, sex tapes and a revelation from the Crouches that catches everyone slightly off guard!


    We also hear from a listener whose request for a little more communication in the bedroom spectacularly backfires when her boyfriend starts delivering some of the least seductive lines imaginable. Abbey reveals the one word she could NEVER cope with Peter saying, while Pete attempts to offer some bedroom advice of his own.


    Elsewhere, a new Therapy Crouch superfan gets banned from listening to the podcast in public, Abbey and Peter reveal what they won’t let the kids do on holiday, and one listener’s mission to get fit and improve his love life leads to his wife quite literally keeping score of their bedroom activity.


    Things get slightly heated before the end as Abbey’s innocent request for a cup of tea turns into a full-blown marital debate over whether she’s secretly using some very clever reverse psychology on Pete!


    00:00 Introduction

    01:21 Abbey’s Animal Obsession

    05:08 Who’s Funnier: Abbey or Peter?

    06:56 Ask Me Anything

    07:34 Lights On In The Bedroom

    09:31 Abbey’s “Bulging Disc”

    11:04 Who Has The Better Body?

    14:31 Abbey & Peter’s Sex Tape

    15:22 Dirty Talk Disasters

    17:39 “That Is Correct!”

    20:16 Abbey’s Worst Bedroom Word

    21:06 Banned From Listening To The Podcast

    23:56 What Abbey & Peter Ban At Home

    25:38 The Kids’ Holiday Rules

    27:17 Brewers Droop & Getting Fit

    28:00 A Shag A Week

    28:20 Keeping Score In The Bedroom

    29:24 Abbey’s Relationship Reward System

    30:28 The Cup Of Tea Argument

    32:35 Abbey & Peter Fall Out


    To contact us:

    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/ @thetherapycrouch

    Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/

    For more from Peter https://twitter.com/petercrouch

    For more from Abbey https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy

    Our clips channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Thu, 27 Aug 2026 - 34min
  • 317 - Abbey’s Off to Nashville! Hen Do Plans, Tattoo Disasters & Peter’s Worst Nightmare!

    On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back with plenty to catch up on as Abbey prepares to head off to Nashville for her sister’s hen do — complete with themed outfits, tattoos, line dancing and a cowboy strip show that Peter is less than thrilled about!


    The pair also reveal how their romantic trip away somehow turned into six hours looking at tiles, including a £1.7 million bath, before reflecting on how much their weekends have changed over the years and why they’re perfectly happy growing into “boring bastards” together.


    Elsewhere, Peter reveals the brilliant mistake made on the shirt he wore when he scored his first England goal, the pair debate whether clapping when a plane lands should ever be acceptable, and Abbey questions why men can remember a golf trip months in advance but somehow forget the plans they’ve made with their wives.


    In the Agony Abs, Abbey and Peter talk finding love later in life and why turning 40 or 50 certainly doesn’t mean the fun has to stop. We also hear from a listener who discovers his wife has been sharing details of their love life in a girls’ WhatsApp group, sparking a big debate over just how much you should really be telling your friends about what goes on behind closed doors...


    00:00 Introduction

    00:44 Abbey’s Nashville Hen Do

    05:13 Hen Do Themes & Cowboy Strippers

    08:37 Six Hours Shopping for Tiles

    13:12 The £1.7 Million Bath

    17:13 Abbey & Peter’s Date Night

    20:46 Peter’s England Shirt Disaster

    24:41 Peter’s Northern Lights Disaster

    28:17 Why Men Forget Plans

    32:54 Growing Old Together

    37:14 Therapy Crouch Blind Dates

    40:21 Dating Over 50

    45:16 Sharing Your Sex Life With Friends


    Shop Back to School at Aldi, Which? Best Value Brand of the year


    Head to https://bit.ly/4hAarcd and select "Therapy Crouch" to claim £20 off your Hertility test.


    To contact us:


    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram: @thetherapycrouchpodcast

    TikTok: @thetherapycrouch

    Website: thetherapycrouch.com


    For more from Peter @petercrouch

    For more from Abbey @abbeyclancy

    Our clips channel The Therapy Crouch Clips

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Tue, 25 Aug 2026 - 49min
  • 316 - AMA Gone Wild! Abbey & Peter Get TIPSY! Wine Tasting, £500 Bottles and Liberty’s Secret Wine Tips!

    On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are joined once again by Abbey’s best friend Liberty, who is putting the pair through their paces with the ultimate wine tasting!


    Armed with bottles ranging from brilliant £9 bargains to alternatives for wines that can cost hundreds of pounds, Liberty attempts to teach Abbey and Pete everything they need to know about choosing a good bottle, pairing wine with food and, most importantly, how to look like you know what you’re doing when the sommelier comes over.


    The gang discover why cheese can completely change the taste of champagne, whether expensive wine glasses actually make a difference and the sneaky trick that can make your £9 bottle look considerably more impressive when you have guests round. Liberty also reveals why you shouldn’t always go for the biggest name on the wine list and why a great bottle doesn’t necessarily need to cost a fortune.


    Things inevitably become slightly less educational as the tasting continues, with Pete forgetting one of the fundamental rules of wine tasting, Abbey admitting she is officially “battered” and the trio debating everything from wine hangovers and £500 restaurant bottles to whether putting ice in your wine is ever acceptable.


    There’s plenty of food along the way too, as Liberty shares some simple tips for entertaining at home before Abbey and Pete crown their favourite wines of the day – assuming they can still remember what they’ve tried!


    If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below

    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKDST4HU_8al_aWpOlys3TRJrWvDV-84piVdlOOjU4/edit


    00:00 Introduction

    01:15 The Wine Tasting Begins

    02:34 Abbey’s Favourite Drink

    04:15 The Perfect Wine & Food Pairing

    06:22 Pete Takes On The Red Wine

    07:08 How To Look Like A Wine Expert

    08:35 The £15 Wine Bargain

    10:00 Simple Food For Entertaining

    11:10 The £9 Italian Wine

    13:01 Why Restaurant Wine Costs So Much

    15:00 How To Make Cheap Wine Look Expensive

    15:42 The Truth About Wine Hangovers

    17:35 The £500 Bottle Problem

    18:00 Liberty’s Superstar Red Wine

    20:38 The Tasting Starts To Take Its Toll

    21:03 Pete’s Wine Tasting Technique

    21:40 How To Spot An Expensive Bottle

    24:03 “Christmas In A Glass”

    25:27 The Perfect Wine Night At Home

    26:29 Do Expensive Glasses Matter?

    28:08 “I Am Battered”

    29:42 Should You Put Ice In Wine?

    31:19 The Perfect Wine Pairing

    31:43 Abbey & Pete Pick Their Winners


    To contact us:

    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcast/

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch

    Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/


    For more from Peter

    https://twitter.com/petercrouch


    For more from Abbey

    https://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancy


    Our clips channel

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Thu, 20 Aug 2026 - 32min
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