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The Therapy Crouch

The Therapy Crouch

Tall or Nothing

Welcome to the Therapy Crouch! The smash hit podcast from Abbey Clancy and Peter Crouch. Join us on our weekly episodes where we will be exploring the trials and tribulations experienced by us, and you the listener, as we navigate our way through complex relationships.


Enter into our safe space where nothing is off limits and expect some tears, tantrums and plenty of laughs along the way.


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

305 - A quick word from The Therapy Crouch...
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  • 305 - A quick word from The Therapy Crouch...

    On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter gives a brief update on the status on the show as England continue to proudly march on into the semi-finals of the FIFA World Cup 2026!


    Sadly this means no therapy this week... sorry fans! We'll see you next Tuesday!


    (And as a thank-you for your patience, a greatest hits episode will be wheeling it's way to you shortly!)



    If you want to submit an Agony Ab or Ask Me Anything question to the podcast, hit the link below: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKD


    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram:

    / thetherapycrouchpodcast


    TikTok:

    / thetherapycrouch


    Website:https://thetherapycrouch.com/


    For more from Peter

    / petercrouch


    For more from Abbey

    / abbeyclancy


    Our clips channel

    / @thetherapycrouch-clipsch-om9dy

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Mon, 13 Jul 2026
  • 304 - Bedroom Fantasy Fails, wild Drunken Stories & Are Peter and Abbey Moving To Portugal?

    On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back for another Ask Me Anything, still separated by thousands of miles with Peter in LA covering the World Cup and Abbey holding the fort in Portugal.


    The pair catch up on just how much they're missing each other, reveal when they'll finally be reunited, and answer the question everyone keeps asking about whether Portugal is now officially home.


    Abbey also shares the latest update on her rescue kittens, including her slightly unconventional attempt at communicating with their mum by learning "cat language"… much to Peter's amusement. Meanwhile, Peter recounts one of the most ridiculous American food challenges he's ever seen, involving a giant sandwich, a professional eater and a technique that genuinely turns his stomach.


    Elsewhere, the pair offer advice to one listener struggling to make friends in their twenties, discuss whether friendships naturally become easier later in life, and explain why men and women approach making plans so differently.


    There's also a hilarious relationship dilemma after one listener's romantic fantasy exercise ends with perhaps the least romantic response imaginable, before the episode descends into complete chaos with one of the funniest drunken confessions ever sent into the podcast.


    From mystery poos around the house to Peter revealing one of his mate's all-time worst drunken moments, it's a finale you'll never forget.


    If you want to submit an Agony Ab or Ask Me Anything question to the podcast, hit the link below:


    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKD...


    00:00 - Welcome to another Ask Me Anything

    00:41 - Abbey gives an update on the Portugal rescue kittens

    01:28 - Abbey explains her "cat language" blinking technique

    02:49 - Peter can't stop laughing at Abbey's cat communication

    03:56 - Peter's unexpected FaceTime with a random little boy

    04:49 - Peter's busy World Cup schedule and Mexico trip

    05:12 - How much they're really missing each other apart

    06:00 - Peter shares what life in LA has actually been like

    06:47 - The ridiculous American food challenge

    08:14 - The professional eater who demolished the giant sandwich

    09:07 - Listener asks if the family has moved to Portugal for good

    10:40 - Peter and Abbey reveal their plans to return to the UK

    11:07 - Agony Ab: Is it harder to make friends in your twenties?

    13:39 - Peter and Abbey explain how friendships change with age

    15:00 - Why men and women make plans so differently

    16:42 - A listener's romantic fantasy completely backfires

    17:47 - Abbey gets called out over her own fantasy confession

    18:55 - A listener admits she's dreamed about Peter and Abbey for years

    19:49 - Peter recommends the TV series everyone is talking about

    20:33 - The most unbelievable drunken confession ever sent in

    21:16 - Mystery poos, coffee tables and total disbelief

    22:14 - Peter admits he's witnessed similar drunken disasters

    22:57 - "My mate p!ssed on his mum once…"

    23:32 - Why drunken toilet accidents happen so often

    24:18 - Final goodbyes and counting down until they're reunited

    To contact us:


    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram: 


     / thetherapycrouchpodcast  


    TikTok: 


     / thetherapycrouch  


    Website:https://thetherapycrouch.com/


    For more from Peter 


     / petercrouch  


    For more from Abbey 


     / abbeyclancy  


    Our clips channel  


     / @thetherapycrouch-clipsch-om9dy  

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Thu, 09 Jul 2026 - 24min
  • 303 - Knob Shopping, Renovation Chaos & Abbey and Peter Face Their Biggest Parenting Challenge Yet…

    On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter and Abbey are back together from opposite sides of the world, with Pete still in Los Angeles covering the Club World Cup while Abbey holds down the fort in Portugal... and it's fair to say long distance is still bringing plenty of chaos.


    The pair kick things off by catching up after time apart, with Peter showing off his questionable LA haircut before the conversation quickly spirals into expensive celebrity barbers, World Cup stories and Abbey receiving an unexpected history lesson on Maradona's infamous "Hand of God".


    Elsewhere, Abbey opens up about a brand new parenting challenge as the couple navigate life with a 15-year-old daughter and the reality of teenage boys beginning to appear on the scene. They also tackle one listener's noisy partner, another whose role play was completely derailed by an overly committed builder delivering a full loft conversion quote, and revisit the legendary "lingerie crab" story after the couple write back with a surprising update... and some very happy news.


    There's also a fiery renovation debate as Peter discovers more surprise bills arriving for their new house, admits his only contribution has been choosing the boilers, and accuses Abbey of going "knob shopping" without him.


    Plus, Peter reflects honestly on life after professional football, why he rarely plays anymore despite still loving the game, whether they've already "peaked" in life, and why finding new passions has become more important than ever.


    If you want to submit an Agony Ab or Ask Me Anything question to the podcast, hit the link below:


    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKD...


    00:00 - Intro

    01:00 - Peter explains why every footballer ends up with the same World Cup haircut

    02:25 - Expensive LA barbers

    03:15 - World Cup excitement and talking about Kane’s goal

    04:05 - Peter tells Abbey the full story of Maradona's infamous "Hand of God"

    06:55 - Parenting worries begin as Abbey opens up

    08:00 - The realities of teenage girls and navigating dating as parents

    10:05 - World Cup moments and England excitement

    11:00 - Peter's Weekly Whine: surprise renovation bills keep arriving from home

    12:20 - Boilers, driveway lights and why Peter feels left out of designing the house

    13:25 - Knob shopping

    15:10 - Peter reveals the only part of the new house he actually wants control over

    16:25 - Listener update: the famous "lingerie crab" mystery finally gets solved

    18:15 - Engagement news after one of the podcast's strangest ever listener dilemmas

    19:20 - Peter wearing women’s clothes and the conversation gets ridiculous

    20:00 - Abbey's Love Island lookalike and Gaz’s invitation to a Fourth of July LA pool party

    22:00 - Agony Ab: what do you do when your boyfriend is a bedroom screamer?

    24:45 - Long distance life and why this week's episode became a catch-up instead

    26:10 - Former athlete struggles: does Peter still miss playing professional football?

    28:00 - Peter admits football frustrates him now and explains why he rarely plays

    29:00 - Finding new passions through golf and life after football

    30:00 - Have Peter and Abbey already "peaked" in life? An unexpectedly honest discussion

    32:30 - Agony Ab: role play goes too far when a builder starts quoting for a loft conversion

    34:00 - Peter pitches his own role play ideas... including an LAPD officer

    35:10 - Wrapping up after another long-distance catch-up filled with chaos


    To contact us:


    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram: 


     / thetherapycrouchpodcast  


    TikTok: 


     / thetherapycrouch  


    Website:https://thetherapycrouch.com/


    For more from Peter 


     / petercrouch  


    For more from Abbey 


     / abbeyclancy  


    Our clips channel  


     / @thetherapycrouch-clipsch-om9dy  

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Tue, 07 Jul 2026 - 36min
  • 302 - Hall Passes, Pregnancy Rows & Why Peter Threw Sausages Out The Window

    On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter and Abbey are back for another Ask Me Anything, still navigating long distance with Pete in LA and Abbey in Portugal, and the chaos starts almost immediately...


    The pair kick things off with a debate about breaking news alerts, why the news is always so depressing, and whether the world desperately needs a "good news" channel instead. They then dive into a listener dilemma about moving out to the countryside, discussing teenage independence, parenting guilt and why neither of them would let their own kids walk anywhere alone these days.


    Elsewhere, Peter and Abbey take a nostalgic trip back through their favourite childhood games, with Peter somehow admitting he left Abbey lying injured during a family game because he had to get back to the tree first!

    There's also a hilarious discussion about celebrity hall passes after one listener accidentally named Abbey as his, before Peter and Abbey reveal their own celebrity crushes and debate whether hall passes should even exist in a marriage.


    The couple also revisit one of their most infamous relationship rows involving wild boar sausages, pregnancy cravings and the "World's Best Prawn Sandwich", while another listener's dishwasher loading complaint sparks a surprisingly passionate debate about household chores and who actually knows the "correct" way to do them.


    Plus, Peter becomes obsessed with the idea of growing vegetables like David Beckham, the pair dream about making homemade soups and chimichurri from their future garden, and one listener's romantic evening is completely derailed by... a sourdough timer.


    There's also a heartfelt moment as Peter and Abbey send their love to listener Mark during his chemotherapy treatment, before ending the episode with a genuinely touching long-distance goodbye that reminds everyone just how much they miss being together.


    If you want to submit an Agony Ab or Ask Me Anything question to the podcast, hit the link below:


    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKD...


    00:00 - Intro and bizarre opening conversation

    00:28 - Ask Me Anything begins from LA and Portugal

    00:53 - Breaking news interrupts the podcast

    01:38 - Why the news is always so negative

    02:18 - Family dilemma: move house or stay rural?

    03:14 - Parenting guilt and giving teenagers independence

    04:14 - Would they let their own children walk alone?

    04:51 - Childhood games and playground nostalgia

    05:43 - Hide and Seek, Bulldog and forgotten classics

    06:15 - The new game everyone became obsessed with

    06:56 - Peter leaves Abbey injured to win the game

    07:20 - Celebrity hall pass dilemma from a listener

    08:09 - Abbey and Peter reveal their celebrity crushes

    09:12 - Hall pass rules and where the phrase comes from

    10:43 - Emotional message for listener Mark during chemotherapy

    12:18 - Pettiest reasons for ending relationships

    13:05 - The pregnancy sausage argument returns

    14:05 - The "World's Best Prawn Sandwich" disaster

    15:10 - Abbey admits she ghosted someone on a date

    16:18 - Peter's "dance van" pronunciation gets roasted

    17:42 - Dishwasher loading wars between couples

    18:40 - Peter's only official household chore

    19:18 - David Beckham's vegetable garden inspires Peter

    20:18 - Dreaming about home-grown food and batch cooking

    21:20 - Romance interrupted by sourdough bread

    22:10 - Parenting and trying to find time together

    23:20 - Peter's least sexy relationship moment

    24:18 - Bread making vs romance debate continues

    25:02 - Sweet long-distance goodbye and family appreciation


    To contact us:


    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram: 


     / thetherapycrouchpodcast  


    TikTok: 


     / thetherapycrouch  


    Website:https://thetherapycrouch.com/


    For more from Peter 


     / petercrouch  


    For more from Abbey 


     / abbeyclancy  


    Our clips channel  


     / @thetherapycrouch-clipsch-om9dy  

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Thu, 02 Jul 2026 - 25min
  • 301 - Peter & Abbey React to America's Wildest AITA Stories, Robot Deliveries and Dating Disasters…

    On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, Peter is back in LA while Abbey holds down the fort in Portugal, and long-distance life is proving just as chaotic as ever.


    The pair kick things off by catching up across the time difference, with Pete walking into a house where everyone is ill while Abbey gives a dramatic update on her ever-growing cat family. What started as rescuing a few kittens has turned into full-blown Tiger King territory, complete with surprise attacks and daily battles just to clean their eyes.


    Elsewhere, Peter reveals his biggest long-distance frustration, why time zones should be abolished forever, and the couple laugh about the strange ways they've celebrated birthdays and even delayed Christmas together when life got in the way.


    There's also a brilliant listener debate about whether "I'm just going for one drink" has ever actually meant one drink, before the pair tackle some of the internet's most ridiculous ‘Am I The Asshole’ stories. From a man who demolished an entire four-foot party sandwich to a groom desperate to hide his brother's extremely graphic tattoo on his wedding day, the dilemmas only get more bizarre.


    Plus, Pete is fascinated by LA's driverless delivery robots, Abbey explains why self-checkouts are killing conversation, and an Agony Ab involving a supposedly "dead" ex leaves everyone questioning what they would do in the same situation.


    If you want to submit an Agony Ab to the podcast - hit the link below:


    https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1rAKD...


    00:00 - Pete flirts before the podcast starts

    00:24 - Peter joins from LA as Abbey stays in Portugal

    01:05 - Pete arrives to a house full of ill crew members

    01:53 - Abbey's rescued kittens become complete chaos

    03:42 - Tiger King comparisons and life with five kittens

    04:28 - Pete misses Abbey but loves working in LA

    05:05 - Abbey's sunrise horse ride nearly sends Pete to sleep

    06:25 - Weekly whine: long distance and impossible time zones

    07:50 - Pete jokes Abbey is too happy without him

    09:00 - How they move anniversaries and even Christmas

    10:04 - "One drink with the lads" never ends well

    12:13 - Pete explains why men should stop promising one pint

    16:03 - Listener compliments, fashion chat and modern dating

    18:07 - Why the 90s were better than today

    20:00 - Relationship ick: talking to your partner through the dog

    22:24 - American AITA: the infamous 4-foot party sandwich

    26:24 - Was eating the entire sandwich actually selfish?

    29:53 - Dad tries forcing his 25-year-old girlfriend into every friendship group

    34:27 - Wedding drama over a giant vagina tattoo

    38:00 - Pete's mind is blown by LA delivery robots

    39:40 - Why self-checkouts are ruining human interaction

    41:25 - Agony Ab: is your girlfriend lying about her "dead" ex?

    43:25 - Doppelganger debate and emotional long-distance goodbye


    To contact us:


    Email: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com

    Instagram: 


     / thetherapycrouchpodcast  


    TikTok: 


     / thetherapycrouch  


    Website:https://thetherapycrouch.com/


    For more from Peter 


     / petercrouch  


    For more from Abbey 


     / abbeyclancy  


    Our clips channel  


     / @thetherapycrouch-clipsch-om9dy  

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

    Tue, 30 Jun 2026 - 43min
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