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Dustin and Igor chat about cookware, Pokémon, One Piece, and Dustin's favourite actors. Then they review The Eyes of Tammy Faye (2021), and select The Belko Experiment (2017) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting https://tot3.welcome.fm

"I hate cheese graters."

Dustin and Igor discuss the words of the year, review The Polar Express (2004), and eye The Eyes of Tammy Faye (2021) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting https://tot3.welcome.fm

"The future just ain't what it used to be."

Dustin and Igor discuss dust and Joe Rogan, review Violent Night (2022), and pick The Polar Express (2004) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting https://tot3.welcome.fm

"Don't cry over a spilt line of coke."

Dustin and Igor unwrap their Spotify and Discord, review Last Christmas (2019), and select Violent Night (2022) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"They could absolutely make a Christmas movie out of me discovering Fortnite at 35 years old."

Dustin and Igor discuss delays; planes, trains, and automobiles; Digimon vs Pokémon; character customization; and Dragon Ball Daima. They review The Perfect Holiday (2007), and choose Last Christmas (2019) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"Katt Williams, to me, is the black Seth Green."

Dustin and Igor discuss Ig Nobel prizes, review The One I Love (2014), and select The Perfect Holiday (2007) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"I love things that are chemically inert."

Dustin and Igor ponder pumpkins, review Save the Last Dance (2001), and choose The One I Love (2014) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"She would beat us."

Dustin and Igor yak about Yotei, review The Harder They Fall (2021), and select Save the Last Dance (2001) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"I'd take a bullet for this game."

Dustin and Igor discuss holes, review Hellraiser (1987) and Hellraiser (2022), and choose The Harder They Fall (2021) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"What's wrong with frozen milk stuck to a t-rex?"

Dustin and Igor bond over challenges at work and discuss nonprofits.

In an effort to expand the English language, they name the seasons between seasons.

Dustin considers living in the suburban biome while Igor tries to convince him that his home is the desert.

There's also a lengthy discussion about the X-Men movies, and Dustin and Igor each decide their favourite day of the week.

"Someday the illusion is broken and you just see past all the rainbows and Cheerios... and you see the truth."

Igor runs some errands and Dustin acknowledges his mistake. The two then talk about textbooks, Canadian politics, and one-way conversations.

We also find out what paper folding and hydraulic presses have in common. Then, more superhero ideas, Dustin getting scammed, and Jeopardy.

"Don't give up on toilet time because you never know what genius will come out of it."

Dustin and Igor discuss Space Jam, new and old; the difference between high school and adult life; and continuing a film franchise with a different cast. They both touch on subtleties in The Simpsons and Dustin talks at length about the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

"What about a character that can raise the temperature of a room... but not too much?"

Dustin and Igor debate travelling and living abroad, and being an introvert in a small town. Listeners are also treated to Dustin's secret taco recipe.

On the food front, they discuss shopping at Canadian Tire and Costco; growing your own produce; pistachios and the Watergate salad; Gordon Ramsey's opinion on Spam; and chocolate-covered insects.

They also talk about keeping boxes from purchases, hoarding versus collecting, the secret life of bananas, and Sean Lock.

"You can make anything into a salad; you just put the thing into the salad."

Igor describes using Reaper for his new sound setup while Dustin rants about remasters, remakes, and reboots.

Together, they envision mobile sundials and deliberate non-human rights.

There's also some talk about the PlayStation Showcase 2021, Canadian politics, jury duty, becoming a full-time Internet celebrity, and self-criticism.

"He spit on the people who asked for faster horses."

Dustin and Igor puzzle over pistachios, anagrams, and nonograms; discuss some things LEGO and decorating your house with amusement, including building a Rapture for fish.

They also talk about real estate, breaking election promises, Canadian politics, and the case of Blue Origin v. NASA.

Next, they spend some time on the Mandela Effect (Berenstain Bears, Shazaam starring Sinbad, and many other examples). As a follow-up, they briefly investigate the circumstances of Smokey Bear's death.

In a philosophical turn, they argue about the feasibility of a multiverse, the concept of infinity, and how large is too large; and then ponder the existence of aliens and ghosts, and whether there's more to life.

They end on a light-hearted note by talking about Disney+ and taxes.

"The best possible outcome is that it's just completely boring with the worst possible outcome being total annihilation."

Dustin and Igor discuss living in filth, hunt for jobs, and deal with impostor syndrome and working from home.

They then balk at housing prices while considering living on Clifton Hill and owning an arcade.

Turning to the philosophical, they ponder how fleeting moment-to-moment history is, and debate the ratio of lighthearted versus serious.

"If push comes to shove, I will be serious, although I desperately strive not to be."

Dustin and Igor rant about autographs, time tracking, and the Tokyo Olympics.

They have a brief but serious discussion about California v. Activision.

On a lighter note, they then talk about dark themes.

Next are interesting sports, the dangers of golf, and how most people are average.

They also touch on abbreviations, A Quiet Place, Some Good News, The Simpsons, and how to turn anything into a comedy.

To conclude, they tip their hats to Gordon Ramsey.

"Don't be afraid of being average; most of us are."

Dustin and Igor touch on nonprofits, dive into bedtime stories and fantasy books, digest Hollywood diets, and ponder the news about Audacity.

More seriously, they discuss spam and phishing emails, individual versus community ethics, and suicide among animals.

Next on the menu is cultured meat and banned foods/strange flavours. A bit of Canadian sneaks in with a chat about Canada Post, washing and drying your money, and the centre of a toonie.

"Bring the world up to your level."

Dustin and Igor vent frustrations; discuss mental institutions, machine learning, and Tesla; argue about NFTs and digital collectibles; touch on Bill C-10; and end on horror movies and TV nostalgia.

"But a lot of bad horror movies are actually really good."

Dustin and Igor talk about making a podcast, establishing friendships, the mysteries of QR codes, and confusing celebrities.

"Not that often that I remember that it happens often, but when I remember it happens often, it's frustrating."

Dustin and Igor discuss bad habits, haircuts, and expired documentation. Then they review Watchmen (2009) and select Hellraiser (1987) and Hellraiser (2022) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"I haven't bought alcohol in a very long time now. I'm proud of myself. I've completely replaced it with energy drinks."

Dustin and Igor discuss canker sores, inventions, Marcel in the wild, and the King of the Hill continuation. They also review Brokeback Mountain (2005) and select Watchmen (2009) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"It's not like if a yacht sees another yacht they must battle to the death."

Dustin and Igor smell and evolve. Dustin talks about the King of the Hill revival. Then they review Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (2021) and choose Brokeback Mountain (2005) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"I could be drinking turpentine."

Dustin and Igor ponder power creep. Dustin wants to see the Straw Hats fail, and the two give them a good sniff. They also review Fat Girl (2001) and select Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (2021) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"I don't like giving my full attention to anything."

Dustin and Igor homogenize humanity, talk to animals, and discuss social media comments. They also review Mighty Joe Young (1998) and select Fat Girl (2001) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Millennium Prize Problems.

"I'm a highly evolved form of human."

Dustin and Igor discuss engineering marvels and tight holes. They review Dumbo (1941) and select Mighty Joe Young (1998) for the next random review.

They also continue discussing the results of the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Maeslantkering, Bell Building, sewer celebration, Nutty Putty Cave.

"Tuvalu's gonna die in almost as many years as a long time ago they moved a building."

Dustin and Igor finish the third Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

They also review Airborne (1993) and choose Dumbo (1941) for the next random review.

References: Beast of Reincarnation.

"Gandhi would be proud."

Dustin and Igor discuss fingernails, toenails, and body dysmorphia. They also review Fanboys (2009) and select Airborne (1993) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Bogdanoff twins.

"I do let my toenails grow."

Dustin and Igor discuss Micronesia, therapy, original sin. Dustin doesn't want to be put on a pedestal. They also review Big Trouble in Little China (1986) and select Fanboys (2009) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Therapy Gecko, Eliza, Henry Symeonis.

"Every Chinese person knows kung fu."

Dustin and Igor discuss more irritants and the island nation of Tuvalu. They also review Sinister (2012) and choose Big Trouble in Little China (1986) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"Things don't bother me. It's people that bother me."

Dustin and Igor discuss vibration irritants, Victorian slang, and Viking food. They also review Ride Along (2014) and select Sinister (2012) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Passing English of the Victorian Era, Hákarl, Brennivín.

"It's not worth bleeping out 'bitch' at this point. Everybody and their mother uses it."

Igor talks about his trip to North America and Dustin declines to go on a pilgrimage. They also review Trolls (2016) and select Ride Along (2014) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"So you get your rum and coke, right in the cans."

Dustin and Igor discuss clothing tags, Dustin's quiet coat, irritants, cold vs hot, and sleeping. They also review Ernest Goes to Camp (1987) and choose Trolls (2016) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"What's the difference between sleeping all the time and just being dead?"

Dustin and Igor discuss 物の哀れ, and their thresholds for sellers, products, and restaurants. They also review Old Yeller (1957) and choose Ernest Goes to Camp (1987) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: RTINGS, Chants of Sennaar.

"That one greek place down the road has goat brains; we're gonna go for that today."

Dustin and Igor discuss Dustin's fraud finale, cheese, tapeworms, and zombies. They also review Horse Girl (2020) and select Old Yeller (1957) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Tapeworm Fry.

"Don't trust people you don't understand."

Dustin and Igor discuss Dustin's Valentine's Day, review North Dallas Forty (1979), and select Horse Girl (2020) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Agbogbloshie, BarbarousKing.

"My date with the Indian guy and the sympathetic woman."

Dustin and Igor discuss greetings, suicide, nepotism, and sitcoms, and also review The Soloist (2009) and select North Dallas Forty (1979) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"You broke your nail, and you wanna hang yourself... that's not good."

Dustin and Igor discuss moving and the TikTok ban, review Bad Santa (2003), and choose The Soloist (2009) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Birds Aren't Real.

"It's a good thing I don't go outside."

Dustin and Igor discuss more Canadian inventions, review Marauders (2016), and select Bad Santa (2003) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"Nothing is better than something sometimes."

Dustin and Igor unwrap Spotify's "Wrapped for Creators", discuss more Canadian inventions, review The Princess Switch (2018), and select Marauders (2016) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Twin Dragons, The Princess Diaries.

"It's the Cambridge-Collins Brat Wars of 2025."

Dustin and Igor discuss life skills, One Piece's inspiration, and Canadian inventions. They also review 8-Bit Christmas (2021), and then select The Princess Switch (2018) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"If you don't believe in Santa, at least believe in Jesus."

Dustin and Igor discuss discontinued food and discontinued world records. Then they review Beautiful Boy (2018) and choose 8-Bit Christmas (2021) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Monsieur Mangetout.

"Ireland would be a fantastic place because nothing sounds real there."

Dustin and Igor finish the Boomer Quiz, propose a Japanese Squid Game, argue about 90s identity, review Ocean's Eleven (2001), and select Beautiful Boy (2018) for the next random review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"On everybody's shelf, there should be a dictionary and a bible."

Dustin and Igor discuss Discord, the upcoming election, and being a teacher. They also review Pump Up the Volume (1990) and select Ocean's Eleven (2001) for the next movie review.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"Your dress code should be paper and garbage bags."

Dustin's on the mend while Igor is running on no sleep in this not-so-scary Halloween episode where Dustin confesses his love for Reba McEntire.

Dustin and Igor continue the Boomer Quiz. Igor contrasts Road House (1989) and Road House (2024). They also review Abduction (2011), and choose Pump Up the Volume (1990) as the next random movie. Lastly, Igor blocks YouTube and Reddit.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: LeechBlock.

"We should all be more like Snoop Dogg."

Igor tries the new Winter Edition from Red Bull. Dustin and Igor discuss facial hair, start the Boomer Quiz, and briefly add "true crime" to the podcast's list of genres.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: boombox.

"The 14-year-old should've Weekend at Bernie's her mom with three bullet wounds in her face."

Dustin and Igor discuss clones, prions, cereal, neighbours, and Gran Torino.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"What the hell happened to my belly button?"

Dustin and Igor discuss Igor's new phone, Life as We Know It, and Buffalo's Buffalo wings.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Aquaria.

"He should be dead. He's 94 years old."

Dustin and Igor discuss the YouTube algorithm, fear, being immortalized, the fall of a nation, and Dustin's new computer. Igor also reviews I Love You, Man.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

"They do get more scared when they read. At least I feel like that's how it used to be when children used to read."

Igor reviews his Rainboll and stops eating microplastics. Dustin sniffs his dish mat and nearly burns off his eyebrows. Then they both review Rough Night.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: Pocket Card Jockey.

"Maybe all the energy drinks have turned you into some sort of a superhuman, and your power is you can smell dirty dish water."

Dustin and Igor discuss V/H/S in the first Rogi's Random Reviews segment, await Deadpool & Wolverine, and plan to watch Rough Night. They also debate dish mats v. racks. Dustin creates a grease terrarium for his wild maggots and defends himself from a pack of pit bulls.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: movie randomizer, french fries.

"You know, there's no crack in there. It's not like you can slide your fingers in."

Dustin and Igor discuss haptic torture, learn to shuffle, and anxiously await Frog Holland in Uncharted 2.

They also begin the third Tournament of Things to decide once-and-for-all which special Pokémon has the best cry. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot3.welcome.fm

References: WWWW on YouTube, walking AI, QWOP.

"If Uncharted 2 becomes the biggest box office hit of the decade, I'll eat a shoe."

Dustin and Igor finish the second (and reveal the next) Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

Igor reviews Captain Phillips and Finding Forrester. They also discuss Dustin's quest for his local butcher and the new generation.

References: new and opposite-of-improved State Street logo, Aflac Duck, first Aflac commercial, Japanese Aflac commercial, Monster Tour Water, Monster case study.

"People are people too."

Dustin and Igor remember Futurama and misremember The Simpsons Movie. Dustin also reviews Invincible. The two also discuss Malcolm Gladwell's Blink yet again.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: opposite George, average asian, Korean Conan, gibberish English, more gibberish English.

"I think the best I can hope for is that I can be a cautionary tale to future generations, so that they can lead a better life than I do."

Dustin and Igor get greasy, get smelly, chat chicken, and discuss Malcolm Gladwell's Blink again.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: Revisionist History, pothole pizza, cheese?

"Maybe that's like a subconscious fetish I have for things that start with M."

Dustin and Igor recount Count Binface and Count Chocula, blow some whistles, and discuss Malcolm Gladwell's Blink.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: Weetabix, rainboll.

"Canadians are getting dumber."

Dustin and Igor discuss television, politics, and movies. They also concoct a non-alcoholic beverage.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: cylindrical projection, Druk.

"I know it used to symbolize a penis, but what does it symbolize now?"

Dustin and Igor review The Super Mario Bros. Movie, again; remember how Sonic used to be; and lie about Pinocchio.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: DKC; Kirby, in the flesh; whale bird.

"He does have a swirly D."

Dustin and Igor discuss Neon King Genesis of the Hill Evangelion. Igor reviews the X-Men prequels. Dustin rants.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: Propane Genesis Evangelion, X-Men '97.

"Maybe I'm sexist, but I always think of a stereotypical, built, masculine figure."

Dustin and Igor canonize, beatify, and venerate the lesser known St. Patrick, not necessarily in that order.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: St. Patrick, blue screen vs green screen.

"Everybody's going to hell, pretty much."

Igor taste tests two competing energy drink brands and reveals SunnyD's "sweet" secret. Dustin and Igor deduce that life in plastic is fantastic and download a car.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: Pluto TV, Otm Shank's book.

"I want to see the first human who's more plastic than human."

Dustin and Igor hack life, drink healthy, and master debate. #980002

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: pour thing, sidneyraz, Good Arguments, solids of constant width.

"I actually probably should try it. I mean everybody's got pants."

Dustin and Igor discuss the fall of the video game industry.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: Insomniac Games, frozen pizza, I can't believe it's not paper.

"Nobody ever talks about the companies that don't sexually harass their employees."

Dustin and Igor discuss energy drinks. Dustin considers making soup in a bathtub. Igor briefly reviews Canada.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: LifeStraw, Survivorman, Mantracker, AutoZone.

"That's the best kind of energy drink: pure human will and determination."

Dustin and Igor loosely base this podcast episode on something. They also reflect on themselves, talk about the list, and compare how thorough they are when playing video games.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: Special K, Starbucks logo.

"Do you think I've ever met anybody with less sensibility than me?"

Dustin recites "a shooting before Christmas," Igor remembers an article about memory, and the two of them try to preorder Doritos-flavoured liquor.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: the law is powerless to help you, Mind Field episode about memory, GIMP.

"Yeah, they're just normal flavours, like mango or peach or… blue."

Igor reviews Joker (2019) and A Movie Making Nerd. Dustin reveals the history of the NORAD Santa tracker.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

"Those people who fear long words, I feel like they would not be able to be German."

Dustin and Igor discuss the weather and the downfall of society.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: cyclones 1, cyclones 2, Coriolis Effect, tornado vs. hurricane, Jersey tornado, Mr. Beast vs. activists, zinc, springs, base pharmaceutical Pokemon, evolved pharmaceutical Pokemon.

"I don't know where all the white people are anymore."

Dustin and Igor discuss ChatGPT's new feature, transportation, and collectibles. Dustin reviews this year's The Super Mario Bros. Movie.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: box Pokemon, potato Pokemon, pharmaceutical Pokemon, not Colgate-Palmolive, Zelda CD-I, more Zelda CD-I, petrichor, all the world's cereal.

"I thought that mint condition actually had something to do with the flavour of mint."

Dustin and Igor discuss bed-making and Halloween. Dustin reviews Cocaine Bear.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: tired as drunk, Weekend at Bernie's, Guy Fawkes Day, make your bed, weight loss.

"Brother's uncle's mother's baby's daughter."

Dustin and Igor have an existential crisis and discuss Microsoft's acquisition of Activision.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

"I got myriad problems, but a word ain't one."

Dustin and Igor discuss AI, running, David Goggins, and Birds Aren't Real.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: running study 1, running study 2, running article.

"Jeremy bought me a dozen queefs for Valentine's Day."

Dustin and Igor discuss life, current events, LEGO, aliens, and tapeworms.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: LEGO figure 1, LEGO figure 2.

"Abase yourself before you ablute yourself."

Dustin and Igor discuss intimacy, frustration, and mice.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

"I'm naked in the bathtub."

Igor talks about his new apartment and a trip to IKEA. Dustin shares a photo of his clock. They also discuss the trials and tribulations of living (in an apartment), and Spam's humanitarian efforts.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: Dustin's clock, Spam's T-shirt.

"I'm in a better place now."

Igor describes his latest journey from Ottawa to Porto. Dustin smells what the Rock is cooking and complains about a global lack of standards.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: Miracle Workers, Weird, American Horror Story, Mr. Green.

"I'm just going to start the rumor that's how it was, and maybe that'll be history one day."

Dustin and Igor summarize street suffixes; discuss dictionaries; bring up Barbenheimer, Nicolas Cage, and streaming; and confirm climate change.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: Kingston's by-law, South Stormont's by-law, street types, Giant's Causeway.

"The one trick that the Pope doesn't want you to know about."

Dustin and Igor go balls to the wall in their first in-person podcast episode.

They also begin the second Tournament of Things to decide once-and-for-all the best S&P 500 company logo.

Listeners can follow along by visiting tot2.welcome.fm

References: Stendhal syndrome.

"I'm definitely going to regress to my usual self."

Dustin and Igor finish the first (and reveal the next) Tournament of Things and raise concerns about the cleanliness of chickens and chocobos. They also discuss shipping, cage matches, Reddit, and Canadian content.

References: AI vote, Styrofoam-tastic, Spam Pizza.

"It's just an expression. Nobody actually showers in the mornings."

Dustin and Igor talk about Main Character Syndrome and the Spotlight Effect, mull over music, survive the wildfires, and express their favourite moments of season 2.

Dustin rants about stupidity, streaming culture, and the Spam Jam. He also concludes the "What Would Europe Do?" survey and brags about what landed in his toilet.

Then Dustin and Igor continue the Tournament of Things after revealing the tiebreakers so far: Farfetch'd v. Abra, Gastly v. Mewtwo, Dratini v. Jynx, Bulbasaur v. Pidgey, Jynx v. Pidgey, and Squirtle v. Jynx.

Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: A-metric-a, Video & Arcade Top 10.

"Does it matter if there's mice living in my house?"

Igor s-egg-ways into a new s-egg-ment about Salmonella. Dustin shares some subatomic and not-so-subatomic stories. Igor forgets about writing a non-award-winning song. Dustin continues the "What Would Europe Do?" survey.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things after revealing the tiebreakers so far: Jynx v. Vulpix.

Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: Hormel does it again, orphan source 1, orphan source 2, Chernobyl Sarcophagus, Tom Scott and the Arsenic Mines, Stable Poliwag, Stable Kangaskhan.

"Cinderella is a bacteria... made of fire—as opposed to salmon."

Dustin and Igor have a crappy conversation and cube some potatoes. Igor reports a missing plane, reviews Moon Knight, and finds guidance while Dustin quizzes him.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things after revealing the tiebreakers so far: Ditto v. Bellsprout, Snorlax v. Charmander, Chansey v. Slowpoke, Kabuto v. Magikarp, Kangaskhan v. Poliwag, Tangela v. Cubone, and Voltorb v. Diglett.

Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: bum gun.

"I think I used a bidet like once in my life, although I always think about it."

Dustin and Igor discuss Igor's whereabouts and go off on tangents.

Igor supplies some Canadian content, encounters a Kentucky Fried Console, and recommends City Hunter (1993). Dustin reviews Dragonball Evolution and considers watching A Good Day to Be Black & Sexy and Love and a Bullet.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

"I think that's a good life lesson for everybody: make your own rules."

Dustin and Igor talk about the weather, golf, and Tubi. Then Igor reviews Dragonball Evolution while Dustin continues reviewing One Piece and yearns to become a cruciverbalist.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: eating potato chips.

"I really do like my chain patterns."

Dustin and Igor prepare a Sesame Street episode about Ramadan and crossing the street.

Dustin teaches us about KFC's logos and the Taco Bell Hail Mary, and then shares his daring adventures at the supermarket. The two also brainstorm Dustin's upcoming brand of grocery store products.

Dustin wants to be the straight man and also spoils the ending of Ash's Pokemon adventures.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: toy iron filings.

"The little chihuahua saved the colonel."

Dustin and Igor discuss heaven's org structure.

Igor reviews Reggie's book and Dustin compares leadership at the three console makers. They also celebrate celebrities who are outspoken nerds.

Next, Igor teases what he's reading now and Dustin gives his ongoing One Piece update.

Igor also shows off his boxes (1, 2, 3, 4) and potatoes (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11).

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: Luke Bryan, Reggie Fils-Aimé, Scythemen, Strong World.

"I hate Ash so much. I'm so glad he's dead."

Dustin and Igor discuss Casablanca, the White House, Gorffwysfa, and the OG whitewashing. Dustin quizzes Igor on wacky walkability, translucent toilets, and whistling kettles. The two also argue about the true meaning of Pancake Day.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

"Being kicked out of a country—it's a really good motivation to go somewhere else."

Dustin and Igor discuss the appeal of a podcast management simulator. Igor tells the story of the Beale ciphers. Dustin quizzes Igor on taxes and tips, and reviews another arc of One Piece.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: swarthy.

"The Mexican British rock star, Brook."

Dustin and Igor discuss Groundhog Day: the day, the film, and the truth.

They also talk about That '90s Show and Mythbusters, and Dustin continues his review of One Piece.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: gossamer, and the Edge of Tomorrow.

"I think you shouldn't be touching strange humans either."

Dustin and Igor interview a salad about eggs, the bird flu, and produce. Dustin reveals his tips for "negotiating" at farmers markets, and then briefly reviews the first 200 episodes of One Piece.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: ostrich egg, lightning, Burger King toys, and the cry of the Victreebel.

"Farmers markets are great! They're not just for old people—they're really not."

This episode is brought to you by the letters E and R. Follow along here, here, and here.

Dustin recites a limerick, mathematical That Igor finds all but hysterical. They play to the beat of Sesame Street and other kid's shows, even three-dimensional.

Dustin and Igor continue the Tournament of Things after revealing the tiebreakers so far: Machop v. Poliwag, Eevee v. Porygon, Hitmonlee v. Tangela, Aerodactyl v. Shellder, and Clefairy v. Paras.

Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: Pokenatomy, Voltorb, and Electrode.

"When a movie comes out, and it's about a baby, I hate it."

Dustin and Igor celebrate the start of 2023 and their 40th episode with a Simpsons quiz. Try to beat Dustin's whopping 5 out of 40 by following along: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, and 40.

Dustin reveals the end of Ash, and his descent into One Piece.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: The Prisoner and Electrode.

"We gotta talk like it's happened already. Wasn't that a great New Year's and Christmas? Can you believe what happened on December 27th? Oh my god!"

Dustin and Igor paraphrase the story of Christmas and cotton on to a word that comes all the way from Bologna but is totally not baloney.

Then they continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

"Did he come out of a woman, or did he just sprout out of the ground?"

Dustin and Igor critique why people criticize each other, Dustin says something that no one has ever said before, Igor learns to read again, and Dustin talks about QI, The First 48, and Lie to Me.

Then the two continue the Tournament of Things, featuring a cute Kadabra. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

"The octopus wrapped its slimy tentacles around the remote control."

Dustin and Igor mourn the passing of Kevin Conroy, subtract half a dimension, debate AI resurrecting dead voice actors, discuss The Simpsons' racial controversies, and ponder the lack of new memorable recurring characters in The Simpsons.

Igor defines the first official Word of the Fortnight: Ablution. He also explains why he tracks all his time.

Then the two waste some time, continue the Tournament of Things, and begin to keep an eye on the legendary Goh. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: Ruth Powers, stereotypical lawyer, blue-haired lawyer, the real Skinner, Hank Scorpio, Bleeding Gums Murphy, Dr. Marvin Monroe, the real Omanyte, and a bird pretending to be Link.

Rule, Britannia James Thompson (1700-1748), Thomas Augustine Arne (1710–1778), Albert Farrington Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

"How would you feel if you lived in a world like that: a 2.5D world where you can move between planes?"

Igor gives a very, very brief description of Guy Fawkes Day while Dustin shares good news and expresses his approval of the Halloween season.

Dustin and Igor use chili cheese fries to ponder the meaning of "just right".

Then the two continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

References: Raspberry Pi, Wheelers, and 60s Electro.

"Why do you have this unnatural ability to just ruin everything?"

Dustin brags about his brand new fall off the bone grill, and Igor advertises Pumpkin Spice Spam.

The two also become rebracketeers in the inaugural segment of Word of the Fortnight.

Dustin and Igor spend the rest of the time reviewing Dragon Ball Super once and for all and remember some funny moments: takos, eggs, and bingo.

"We always have something interesting to talk about, but we rarely actually sound interesting when we talk about it."

Dustin and Igor celebrate Thanksgiving early because Canada, and then eulogize the Queen.

Then Dustin raves about Stable Diffusion and shares some of his favourite works of AI art: 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.

The two continue the Tournament of Things with a cameo by longcat.

Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

(Spoilers!) The following are some of Dustin's own Stable Diffusion creations: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, and 8.

"Without her, life would be exactly the same as it is now."

Our hosts guess whether fast food in North America differs from Europe, Igor tells the tale of a falconeer and her falcon defending the local McDonald's from bird crap, and Dustin promises to release his secret taco recipe on his deathbed while wondering how Taco Bell keeps their quesadilla shells so soft.

The two then ask "What is success?"

Dustin vents work frustrations and proclaims himself to be the Gordon Ramsay of Catholic publishing.

Then Dustin and Igor continue the Tournament of Things. Listeners can follow along by visiting tot.welcome.fm

"Even if you strive for getting 100%, you should assume that you won't get 100%; you'll get a certain percentage of that—a smaller percentage."