Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Pain psychologist Dr. Rachel Zoffness joins Forrest and Dr. Rick to explore what pain is, why it can persist long after an injury has healed, and what actually helps. Rachel explains why the brain, rather than the body part that hurts, is what constructs pain, the difference between acute and chronic pain, and the distinction between hurt (what you feel) and harm (what's damaged). They get into the biopsychosocial model, the "pain dial" that stress, sleep, mood, and social connection can turn up or down, the disappointing response rates for most pain treatments, why pain is absolutely not “just in your head,” what sham surgery and open-label placebo studies reveal about how pain works, and why the research is so hard to interpret.  This is not medical advice. Please do not start, change, or discontinue any medication based on this episode. All decisions should be made with your doctor. About our Guest: Dr. Rachel Zoffness is a pain psychologist, assistant clinical professor at the UCSF School of Medicine, and the author of Tell Me Where It Hurts.  Key Topics: 0:00 Introduction 1:42 Acute vs. chronic pain 3:41 What is pain? 9:20 The biopsychosocial model 11:11 Hurt vs. harm: the tale of two nails 19:10 The pain dial 23:10 Nociception vs. pain 26:46 Your pain recipe 29:46 The "all in your head" stigma 31:23 Central sensitization 35:53 Pushback from pain patients 40:42 Loneliness and pain 46:51 Pacing 50:48 Reducing distress vs. reducing pain 54:26 Does anything work? 1:00:07 What placebo actually is 1:03:19 Acupuncture, sham surgery, and open-label placebo 1:09:42 Why the research is such a mess 1:14:10 Hopelessness, and trying one more thing 1:17:46 Mindfulness and attention 1:23:02 Advice for friends and family 1:30:22 Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to https://Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Check your health the way I do with 160+ lab tests and access to scans through Function, all for only $365 a year. Learn more at https://functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL and use code BEINGWELL25 for a $25 credit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest talk about what separates people-pleasing from the fawn response, and why those differences affect what actually helps. They trace the surprising history behind both ideas, explain each’s relationship with trauma, and answer common questions along the way. They discuss why old friendships pull you back into old patterns, when appeasement is actually the right call, how to assert your needs when people expect you to concede, and how to figure out what you want after a lifetime of tuning into everyone else.  Sign up for Dr. Rick's new Boundaries workshop, and use promo code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. RickHanson.com/Boundaries Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:05: What’s the difference between people-pleasing and “just being nice?” 8:50: Common signs of people-pleasing 21:00: Where "people-pleasing" and “fawning” come from 27:00: Pete Walker, trauma, and how the two terms got merged 30:45: "Is the conflict causing my anxiety, or is my attachment style causing the conflict?" 39:10: Becoming more assertive  47:30: How to change relationships built on the pleasing version of you 55:15: Emotional neglect, shame, and learning what you want 1:04:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Visit https://Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow.  Visit https://Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by his parents, psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and nutritionist Jan Hanson, to discuss "Depleted Mother Syndrome:” the exhaustion, brain fog, and low mood so many mothers experience. They talk about how Jan hit bottom in the years after Forrest and his sister were born, why the hardest stretch often comes two or more years after birth, the problem with dismissing these experiences as "just motherhood,” and how people can recover. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro & welcome Jan! 2:39: What inspired the book 10:02: Dr. Rick’s perspective 13:30: Depleted Mother Syndrome 18:33: The accumulated impacts of motherhood  25:44: Taking care of your health as a mom 36:40: Rick & Jan’s personal experience 50:08: Small actions that maintain and repair a relationship 1:04:19: What Jan would tell her younger self Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you’re ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try SimplePractice. Start with a 7-day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to SimplePractice.com to claim the offer. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Get better sleep, backed by your own data. Go to OrionSleep.com/BEINGWELL for 15% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve all been told to “feel our feelings,” but what does that actually mean, and how do you do it? Forrest talks with trauma therapist Simone Saunders about how to go from knowing your patterns to being able to do something about them when things get intense.  They discuss what your nervous system does when it decides you're not safe, why the tools you've collected go offline in exactly the moments you need them, and how a sense of agency changes that equation. Simone walks through her three-step process for noticing a sensation, working out what it's asking for, and doing something different with it. They also talk about the functional freeze, what to do when you “don’t feel anything,” and how to relate to shame and grief. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro: overthinking, cognitive bypassing, and intellectualizing 4:42: What it means to “be in the body” 9:46: Bottom-up approaches and trauma 18:33: How to recognize disconnection and functional freeze 28:38: Moving out of a dictatorship and into a partnership with your body 34:51: How to actually feel your feelings 46:29: The difference between emotions and feelings 52:14: Meeting your needs 57:40: The limit of self-understanding, frameworks, and tools  1:00:07: Moving into experiments, titration, and when you feel too much or not enough 1:17:28: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to https://Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Visit https://Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow.  Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/BEINGWELL. MasterClass keeps adding new classes, so there’s never been a better time to get in. Get at least 15% off any annual membership at https://MasterClass.com/BEINGWELL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to become more resistant to manipulation, discussing terms like gaslighting, DARVO, and love bombing. They talk about why cynicism doesn’t make you immune to manipulation, and how excessive skepticism and trust can go together. They share the “handles” manipulators exploit, break down common forms of reality distortion, emotional manipulation, and situational engineering, and discuss what actually helps.  Key Topics: 0:00: What is manipulation? 6:25: Are cynical people less manipulatable? 14:52: How can we become manipulation resistant? 25:51: How manipulation works 26:30: Tactic 1: Reality distortion 33:49: Tactic 2: Emotional manipulation 38:02: Tactic 3: Situational engineering 40:00: Key qualities to develop 45:17: Establishing protective systems and managing "the fuzz" 1:02:36: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Terms like boundaries, gaslighting, triggers, trauma, and attachment are everywhere now. Dr. Rick and Forrest answer a listener question about the consequences - good and bad - of clinical language escaping the therapy room. They then answer three more questions: an introverted listener wonders about the pressure to be social, a couple wants to know how to loosen their strict scorekeeping around household tasks, and a 27-year-old wonders whether becoming a therapist means wasting the degree they already have.  Key Topics: 00:00: Introduction 1:24: Question 1: The rise, and problems, of therapy speak. 8:15: Boundaries as a tool for control 11:04: Epistemic injustice: who gets believed 14:48: The ups and downs of labels. 19:20: Question 2: Do I really need to expand my social circle if I'm happy being mostly alone? 28:23: Question 3: How do we balance household responsibilities without scorekeeping? 41:15: Question 4: I want to become a therapist, but I’m scared to change careers. What should I do? 51:30: Recap Sponsor Visit Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow.  For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co/BEINGWELL.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore burnout: what it is, why it’s so common, and what people can do about it. They begin by framing burnout as largely a structural problem that individuals are forced to manage. They unpack the six major drivers of burnout, why some people are especially vulnerable, and how chronic stress affects the mind and body. They then turn to practical ways to recover more effectively, including psychologically detaching from work, finding more effective forms of relaxation, protecting your own self-concept, and reducing underlying vulnerabilities. Finally, they talk about how we can preserve meaning and agency when we truly can’t change our circumstances. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro and burnout as a structural issue 7:20: Six major factors of stress and what to do about them 21:57: Mindfulness, relaxation, and recovery 34:11: Protecting your own self-concept and job crafting 41:46: Reduce vulnerabilities and taking care of yourself 1:04:45: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you’re ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try SimplePractice. Start with a 7-day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to SimplePractice.com to claim the offer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all understand the emotional impact of grief, but its effects on the body are often overlooked. Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist and researcher Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor to explore the physiology of grief. Dr. O’Connor explains how our brains and bodies organize themselves around the people we love, creating “maps” of their presence and relying on them for physical and emotional regulation. They discuss the health risks associated with bereavement, how to care for the healing body, ambiguous loss, the difference between grief and prolonged grief, and how we can gradually build a meaningful life around loss. About our Guest: Dr. Mary-Frances O'Connor is a Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona and Director of the Grief, Loss, and Social Stress Laboratory. She is the author of two books on grief: The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro 4:42: The map that no longer exists 12:00: Co-regulation: the attachment figure as an external pacemaker 16:35: Physiological effects of grief 24:53: Taking care of yourself after a loss 36:46: Protest, despair, and meditative practices 45:45: Prolonged grief and getting stuck in restoration 57:31: Progressive Muscle Relaxation vs mindfulness 1:03:00: Re-engaging with the world 1:15:42: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at https://RocketMoney.com/BEINGWELL. Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Visit Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some kids learn early on that the way to be loved is to be useful. They take on the emotional or practical care of their parents in a process known as parentification, and today Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the costs of being a “gifted child.” They discuss the “bargain” these kids make: suppressing their authentic self in order to fulfill a role and earn love. Over time, this bargain can harden into a false self that makes it difficult for the person to connect with their true wants and needs. They then walk through four tracks that allow us to reclaim authenticity: becoming visible to yourself, building a coherent narrative, reconnecting with what you gave up, and renegotiating relationships. Topics include the paired extremes of grandiosity and depression, why so many capable adults go blank when asked what they actually want, and why understanding a pattern isn't the same as changing it. This episode is heavily influenced by psychologist Alice Miller’s classic book The Drama of the Gifted Child. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro: what is parentification? 9:18: Examining your own childhood 13:18: Grandiosity and Depression 18:37: Peer-entification, self-narratives, and adult relationships 23:29: Emotional insight and grief 27:09: Tracks to healing 35:10: Track 1: Becoming more visible to yourself 39:26: Track 2: Building a coherent narrative 45:21: Track 3: Reparenting 50:49: Track 4: Building a new bargain 1:05:26: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Take our audience survey: https://rickhanson.com/survey/ Sponsors Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of what people know about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) comes from movies and short videos, and those media portrayals often have little to do with what DID is actually like. To get the real picture, today Forrest is joined by Dr. Milissa Kaufman and Dr. Lauren Lebois, experts in dissociative disorders and trauma research. Dr. Kaufman had DID herself, went through treatment, and made a full recovery.  They explore the spectrum of dissociation, from everyday experiences to clinical presentations like DID, before talking about how DID develops as a childhood adaptation to trauma, the problem with the term “multiple personality disorder,” and what the brain science tells us. Milissa describes her own “inside people,” the shame and secrecy associated with DID, and the slow shift from "that wasn't me" to "that was me all along." They then cover what treatment looks like, what to actually look for in a therapist, and what recovery means. About our Guests: Dr. Milissa Kaufman is a trauma psychiatrist at McLean Hospital and Associate Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. Dr. Lauren Labois is a cognitive neuroscientist and Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. They are co-directors of the Dissociative Disorders and Trauma Research program at McLean Hospital. Check out the Trauma Continuum at Hill Center: https://traumacontinuum.org/ Key Topics: 0:00: Intro and Dr. Kaufman's personal experience with DID 6:51: The spectrum of dissociation: Depersonalization, Derealization, and Dissociative Identity Disorder 17:12: Dr. Kaufman's experience of DID 22:58: The paradoxes and shame involved with DID 36:46: History of skepticism around DID, and the role of modern neuroscience 43:09: Treatment for DID and trauma-informed treatment 1:00:43: What healing and recovery looks like 1:10:48: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Take our audience survey: https://rickhanson.com/survey/ Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest continue last week’s conversation on avoidance coping, this time focusing on how to move from insight into meaningful action. They explore why self-awareness often isn’t enough to create change, focusing on common impediments like ambivalence, shame, and the difficulty of seeing our patterns in real time. They then unpack the practical science of change: surfacing predictions behind avoidance, testing them through right-sized experiments, and fully internalizing the outcomes. Other topics include scaffolding, state-dependent learning, the HEAL process, and what to do when the dreaded experience actually happens. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro: why awareness isn't enough 4:54: Ambivalence to change 13:50: Other impediments to change22:00: How to want to change 28:42: Creating predictions 32:26: Setting up an effective experiment 43:26: Linking new outcomes to old memories 1:01:51: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Take our audience survey: https://rickhanson.com/survey/ For a limited time, try OneSkin with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at https://oneskin.co/BEINGWELL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all have patterns we can see clearly…and still can't seem to stop. Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how avoidance fuels these patterns, and how we can break the avoidance loop by updating our expectations and predictions about the future. They discuss what avoidance coping is, how the brain works as a prediction machine, why that means insight alone usually isn't enough to break a pattern, and what the current science of exposure and expectancy violation says about how change actually happens.  This is the first of two episodes dedicated to this topic, the second will focus on how to brave our feared experiences and go from insight to action. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro: avoidance coping and mental predictions 8:07: Five types of avoidance behaviors 17:35: The invisible cage 23:50: Predictive processing 29:49: Identity and high confidence predictions 34:30: How avoidance can perpetuate painful experiences 40:01: Exposure and the Inhibitory Learning Model 52:00: Answering common questions 56:07: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at RocketMoney.com/BEINGWELL. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by one of the world's leading happiness researchers, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, to discuss the real secret to happiness: feeling loved. Dr. Lyubomirsky explains the key difference between being loved and feeling loved, why self-improvement (usually) isn’t the answer, and how giving love leads to getting love. They then walk through five mindsets that help people both get more love and feel more loved. Other topics include the vulnerability paradox, capitalization and the importance of enthusiasm, using the mindsets to evaluate our relationships, polyamory and non-monogamous love, and AI companions. You can find Sonja's diagnostic quiz at howtofeelloved.com  About our Guest: Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky is a Professor of Psychology at UC Riverside, and the author of a number of bestselling books including How to Feel Loved with Dr. Harry Reis. She is one of the most frequently cited well-being researchers in the world. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro: connection as the key to happiness 2:31: The difference between being loved and feeling loved 6:58: What love is 9:09: If only beliefs and the vulnerability paradox 19:36: Mindsets to embrace if you're looking for more love and connection 23:26: The relationship “sea”saw 31:44: Five mindsets to embrace if you want to feel more loved 51:51: AI companionship, polyamory, and MDMA 1:08:03: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Visit Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Last week, Dr. Rick and Forrest discussed why healthy conflict is a vital part of strong and intimate relationships. Today, they focus on the how-to of effective repair: what it looks like, why it’s so hard, and how to do it well. Together they walk through four common patterns of conflict, offering guidance on how to interrupt the cycle, turn down the heat, and get back on the same team. They offer tools such as compassionate curiosity, affectionate humor, and taking maximum reasonable responsibility. Finally, they discuss the personal benefits of healthy conflict and repair: when we have a new experience and truly take it in, we can learn that conflict doesn’t have to lead to disconnection, disappointment, or abandonment.  Key Topics: 0:00: Intro and what healthy repair looks like 5:26: Red flag: the withdrawal of caring and compassionate curiosity 9:26: Initiating repair 12:24: Scenario 1: The "accidental argument" 21:10: Scenario 2: The chronic broken commitment 40:01: Scenario 3: The missed bid 1:01:38: Scenario 4: The “seeming” change in relationship 1:07:11: Taking in repair 1:16:23: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Most of us are pretty bad at conflict, usually because we weren’t taught how to handle it well. But healthy conflict can be one of the best ways to deepen intimacy and trust. In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss why conflict is so difficult, the models of conflict we inherit from childhood, healthy repair, what emotional flooding does to the brain and body during a fight, and the research on what actually predicts relationship success. They close with a handful of things that get mistaken for repair but aren't, including submission, thin apologies, and just solving the surface problem.  Key Topics: 0:00: Intro 3:19: Repair as the biggest predictor of relationship success 5:29: Models of conflict and where they originate from 16:08: What is healthy repair, and why is it so hard? 24:54: What to do about emotional flooding 30:25: When to let things go, and when to address them 38:36: What repair is and what it's not 46:47: The power of authentic apologies 57:04: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. SponsorsVisit Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by neurogastroenterologist Dr. Trisha Pasricha for a conversation about the gut-brain connection, including how gut health impacts our mood and mental health. Dr. Pasricha explains how the gut and the brain communicate, how early gut experiences can shape adult anxiety and depression, why GI symptoms are often misunderstood or dismissed, and what the research actually says about probiotics, leaky gut, and detoxification. They also discuss simple, evidence-based ways to improve gut health, dispelling social-media fueled myths along the way.  About our guest: Dr. Tricia Pasricha is a physician-scientist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, an assistant professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, and columnist for the Washington Post. Her new book, You've Been Pooping All Wrong, explains the connection between your gut, your brain, and your mental health. Key Topics: 0:00 Intro: what's neurogastroenterology? 5:48: Believing your patient 9:31: The lifelong impact of childhood gut issues 18:27: The relationship between the gut and the brain 23:20: The tiktokification of gut health information 30:56: Probiotics – do they help? 34:15: The microbiome 43:34: Advice to people with gut issues 46:21: What about cleanses? 55:52: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! ⁠If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.⁠ Sponsors Go to ⁠Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL⁠ to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by author, meditator, and friend Diego Perez, also known as Yung Pueblo, for a conversation about right effort, the balance between pushing through and letting go, and the death of nuance in the age of social media.  They start with Diego’s experience on his recent 60-day silent meditation retreat, and what that kind of practice teaches about craving, attachment, and getting unstuck from old roles. Diego frames right effort as the middle path between forcing your life and going with the flow, and that tension leads into a conversation about social media, including the appeal of reductive advice and being told what to do. Diego closes with what he'd recommend for someone who wants some of the rewards of practice without committing to a long retreat. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro 2:02: Diego's 60-day silent retreat 8:17: Right Effort: balancing pursuit with letting go 15:49: Attachment, craving, and suffering 19:25: Diego's journey to the sensitive boy’s club 25:19: Resistance: a sign that something is wrong or that we should push harder? 31:07: How to stop outsourcing your decisions & find guidance within  42:41: The limitations of labels and therapy-speak 52:26: Practices for those who aren't serious meditators 55:39: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Visit Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins Forrest to explore how we can reparent ourselves, recover from emotionally immature parenting, and develop greater emotional maturity. They discuss what emotional maturity actually is, the "good enough" parent, the voices we internalize, and how adults can begin to give themselves the internal security and emotional attunement they missed in childhood. Other topics include why feeling misunderstood is so painful, the lifelong dance between connection and autonomy, and the hidden costs of authoritarian parenting.  About our guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of a number of books, including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and her new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro & what emotional maturity looks like 7:45: Why our culture undervalues emotional maturity  12:56: The “good enough” parent 20:05: What happens to children with emotionally immature parents 27:15: Repair in adulthood 36:22: The importance of feeling understood 43:40: Mirroring: why it’s important and how to get better at it 49:07: Balancing connection and autonomy 53:39: The appropriate level of parental authority 1:04:34: Parenting mistakes to avoid 1:15:29: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  For a limited time, your gift will be matched, to help students and teachers who need our support. Go to DonorsChoose.org/BEINGWELL to find a classroom near you and have your gift matched today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can become securely attached to ourselves: building an internal foundation that lets us connect with others, regulate our emotions, and explore the world from that secure base. They talk about how this is supposed to develop in childhood, why it doesn't for many people, and what we can actually do about it as adults. Topics include the research on early attachment, why so many of us arrive at adulthood with a strong inner critic and weak inner support, and four practical paths forward: creating a coherent narrative about your past, reparenting yourself, rescaling your sense of self in relation to others, and building self-trust through healthy exploration.  Rick’s Attachment Course: Join Rick for a 5-week online course on using the research-backed HEAL method to heal insecure attachment and create new neural pathways for interacting and connecting securely. You can learn more at RickHanson.com/attachment and get 25% off with coupon code BeingWell25. Key Topics  0:00: Introduction 2:00: The research on becoming a “secure base” 8:17: How we internalize early sources of regulation and recognition 15:43: What happens when love is contingent 18:44: Forming a coherent narrative 29:14: Reparenting yourself 42:07: Rebuilding your sense of self 57:40: Using your secure base to explore, try, and fail 1:09:18: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Go to https://DonorsChoose.org/BEINGWELL to find a classroom near you and have your gift matched today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by the options in your life, you’re not alone. Today, Forrest is joined by best-selling author David Epstein to discuss how constraints can lead to greater creativity, generativity, and, paradoxically, freedom. They trace how intentional constraints have led to some of the most influential contributions to the world, including Mendeleev’s periodic table, Viriginia Woolf’s groundbreaking novels, and Kyrie Irving’s (potential) hall of fame career. Throughout, they focus on how we can go from seeing constraints as an obstacle to appreciating them as an asset, and then apply this principle to building more meaningful and satisfying lives.  About our guest: David Epstein is a renowned science journalist and the best selling author of The Sports Gene and Range. His new book, Inside the Box: How Constraints Make Us Better, comes out May 5th. Key Topics:  0:00: Why focus on constraints? 5:21: Why constraints are good for us 13:50: Time and attention as (productive) bottlenecks 17:10: Why ‘flashes of genius’ are often exaggerated 25:02: What Virginia Woolf teaches us about constraints and creativity 29:35: How unlimited freedom undermines the scientific process 38:29 Constraints make for better sports training 40:23: Applying constraints to our work and relationships 46:02: Satisficers vs maximizers, and how to become a satisficer 48:50: Expanding our notion of constraints 55:14: Death and impermanence; the ultimate constraints 57:45: Will constraints help the Celtics win the NBA Championship? 1:05:49: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever had a friend not text you back, and you’re certain that they’re mad at you? This is often a disruption in the process of mentalization: the ability to recognize that our thoughts and feelings might not be facts. Mentalization is a process we can all struggle with, but it’s particularly important for people who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). In this episode, Forrest is joined by psychotherapist and author Robert Drozek to discuss mentalization-based treatment (MBT) and the tools that can help us develop more flexibility and curiosity around our assumptions. Bob outlines the three common modes of mentalizing, explains how childhood experiences shape mentalization, and offers a map for building healthier ways of relating to our thoughts and feelings.  About our Guest: Robert Drozak is a clinical social worker, the clinical director of the Mentalization-Based Treatment Clinic at McLean Hospital, and a teaching associate in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. His new book, Mentalization: Utilizing Reflection to Heal from Borderline Personality Disorder, is the first book about Mentalization-Based Treatment aimed at a general audience.  Key Topics:  0:00: Intro: what is mentalization? 5:12: Ways mentalization can go wrong 13:25: Borderline Personality Disorder as a deficit in mentalization 22:13: How mentalization is shaped in childhood 28:54: The alien self 32:23: Developing an MBT formulation 42:03: MBT in the therapy room 54:40: Challenging your beliefs and assumptions 1:11:21: How to get out of pretend mode 1:21:37: Addressing problems with interoception 1:30:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sleep Reset is offering a free 7-day trial, available only at thesleepreset.com/podcast. Start your first week of real, clinician-designed insomnia treatment tonight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does knowing we overthink not help us stop? Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss why rumination becomes a self-reinforcing habit,  and why insight alone rarely helps. They distinguish between rumination and reflection, and talk about how balancing acceptance and agency can help us go from one to the other. Forrest talks about the relationship between overthinking and feelings of disappointment and failure, and Rick shares practical ways to interrupt the cycle, shift into more concrete forms of problem-solving, and finally stop ruminating. Rick's Rumination Course: If rumination is a persistent issue for you, check out Rick’s five-week online course focused on practical tools for letting go of these negative thought loops. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Previous episodes on rumination and overthinking: Breaking the Self-Awareness Trap: How to Stop Overthinking | Being Well Rumination: How to Disrupt Obsessive Thoughts Key Topics:  0:00: Intro: what is rumination 5:35: Why we ruminate 21:06: Why rumination doesn't help us 25:24: Moving from rumination to reflection 31:35: Rumination as a habit 38:40: Interrupting the rumination habit 46:44: Radical helplessness and radical resourcefulness 53:43: More ways to move from abstract to concrete thinking  1:07:23: The role of mindfulness 1:13:32: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this very special episode, Dr. Jacob Ham and associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira join me to discuss their work as trauma therapists. They talk openly about the messy, unglamorous reality of struggle, mistakes, and repair that characterizes trauma work, its nature as both art and science, how their work has changed over time, and what they’ve learned along the way. Topics include self-disclosure, working with shame and grief, dealing with situations where the client wants an apology, the difference between trauma work and more manualized approaches, therapist training and supervision, and “polishing the mirror.”  I loved listening to Dr. Ham and Elizabeth talk during this episode. It’s a truly unique one, and I hope you enjoy it.  About our Guest: Dr. Jacob Ham is a clinical psychologist, Associate Clinical Professor at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, and the Director of the Center for Complex Trauma there. He's the clinician featured in Stephanie Foo’s wonderful book What My Bones Know. Key Topics :  0:00: Introduction and nervousness 6:21: The role of disclosure 11:34: Mistakes, rupture, and repair 23:20: Sharing grief 33:04: Supervision and parallel process  36:29: Therapy as an art form 47:52: Structure, flexibility, and 'opening the hand' 52:50: A listener question: how to let it all go 1:02:40: How trauma work changes you 1:07:46: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. SponsorsGo to Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the lessons we can learn from two of Humanistic psychology’s more challenging branches: existential psychology and transpersonal psychology. Existential psychology asks what it means to build a meaningful life in the face of death, while Transpersonal psychology wonders if the individual self is what we should be so focused on. Forrest and Rick focus on the work of Rollo May, Irvin Yalom, Abraham Maslow, and Stanislav Grof, and major themes include freedom, agency, anxiety, the limits of the “self,” and how confronting these can lead to a fuller and more meaningful life.  Rick’s Self-Worth Course: Starts this week! In this 6-week online course, Rick will guide you in practical, research-backed ways to release old patterns and grow a lasting sense of confidence, kindness toward yourself, and genuine self-worth. Learn more at RickHanson.com/worthy and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro and recap of humanistic psychology 6:12: History and context of existential psychology 12:04: Three important lessons from existentialism 26:03: Agency and meaning making within existential psychology 38:38: Overview of transpersonal psychology 1:00:43: Three important lessons from transpersonal psychology 1:11:14: Closing reflections, and a one word summary 1:14:07: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. SponsorsSleep Reset is offering a free 7-day trial, available only at thesleepreset.com/podcast. Start your first week of real, clinician-designed insomnia treatment tonight. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why don’t we choose the things we know are good for us? It’s usually because we’re struggling with self-regulation, one of the most important (and most misunderstood) skills out there. In today’s episode, Forrest talks with Eric Zimmer about what healthy self-regulation actually looks like,  the gap between insight and action, how shame can derail us, and why most change comes down to small steps taken consistently. They discuss how to figure out what actually matters to you vs. what you want right now, the tension between acceptance and change, and how to get back on track after a slip without making it worse. About our Guest: Eric Zimmer is the creator of The One You Feed, an award-winning podcast with over 50 million downloads. He’s also the author of the new book, How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro: Why is self-regulation so important? 4:32: Moving from insight to action 8:14: Values versus desires 14:25: Eric’s sobriety journey 20:57: Changing our relationship to shame 32:05: When to accept things as they are, and when to move from acceptance to change  38:17: Choosing the more useful meaning 42:51: How to get over self-doubt 46:41: Having a backup plan for when things go sideways 53:54: Balancing striving with non-craving 1:06:16: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sleep Reset is offering a free 7-day trial, available only at thesleepreset.com/podcast. Start your first week of real, clinician-designed insomnia treatment tonight.Visit https://carawayhome.com/BEINGWELL to take an additional 10% off your next purchase of non-toxic cookware made modern. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is it so hard for us to do what we actually want to do? In this episode, Forrest explains the hidden structure of self-abandonment: how shame drives the loop, how the loop produces more shame, and how the inner critic uses a “can’t win” situation to keep us stuck. Then he and Dr. Rick explore what actually breaks the cycle, including the role of anger, the difference between shame and grief, self-compassion, and what it really means to get on your own side. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro and overview of self-abandonment 4:38: What are we abandoning? 8:30: The self-abandonment loop 21:55: How a parts model can help us understand the shame 26:20: The double-bind of self-criticism 32:56: How to get out of the double-bind 41:34: Anger and resentment 49:47: Moving from shame to grief 56:15: Breaking the self-abandonment loop 1:10:22: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by associate therapist and his fiancée Elizabeth Ferreira for an honest, personal conversation about what it's actually like to be in a relationship when one partner is living with trauma, complex PTSD, or another ongoing mental health challenge. Drawing on their experience together, they discuss supporting without enabling, avoiding power imbalances, managing resentment, dealing with moments of frustration, and the importance of reciprocity. Elizabeth has some thoughts about the DSM. Forrest shares about how Elizabeth has supported him. It’s a good one. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro and Elizabeth’s overview 5:50: How trauma shapes you 9:05: How Elizabeth found safety in her relationship with Forrest 11:12: How the relationship helped Forrest grow 15:44: Self-discovery through relationship 21:19: How to effectively support a partner with mental illness 33:42: Being ‘sturdy’ 39:18: Navigating criticism 43:30: Communicating without resentment or shame 54:57: Avoiding stigma, and why Elizabeth wants to throw the DSM out the window 59:52: Not buying in to the smallest version of your partner 1:04:27: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Grab Huel today with my exclusive offer of 15% OFF online with my code BEINGWELL at huel.com/beingwell. New customers only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show!Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever walked back into your parents' house and suddenly felt like you'd downloaded an old version of yourself? In today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explain why through one of the most influential frameworks in psychology: Family Systems Theory (FST).  FST argues that hidden rules govern the behavior of the groups we’re a part of, and when you know the rules it’s easier to see them in action. Rick and Forrest explore how systems replicate patterns of behavior, place people into specific roles, and manage anxiety through shifting alliances. They close with how we can become differentiated by building a stronger sense of self. Topics include balancing closeness and distance, triangulation, specific roles like the “golden child,” FST’s non-pathologizing stance, the intergenerational transmission of patterns, and building strong relationships outside the system. This episode includes references to self-harm. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro 2:19: What’s Family Systems Theory? 12:01: Overview of big concepts in FST 18:50: Family roles 25:19: How anxiety moves through a family system 36:42: The “identified patient” 46:51: Balancing compassion, agency, and responsibility 51:11: How healthy differentiation can disrupt a system 57:48: How to become more differentiated 1:11:33: Recap  Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Grab Huel today with my exclusive offer of 15% OFF online with my code BEINGWELL at https://huel.com/beingwell. New customers only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by journalist and author Michael Easter to discuss how we can make our lives better by making them (the right kind of) harder. They start with one of modern life’s paradoxes: things have gotten much easier, but this hasn’t led to more happiness or fulfillment. Michael talks about how our biological wiring backfires in today’s world of abundance, why humans need a mission, and the vital experiences we’ve lost. Other topics include problem creep, how everything has become a slot machine, rucking, and the “super medium” body. About our Guest: Michael Easter is a professor at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, journalist, and best-selling author of The Comfort Crisis, Scarcity Brain, and Walk with Weight. Michael is also the author of the #1 Substack in the Health & Wellness category, Two Percent. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro 2:10: How our world became engineered for comfort 7:39: Problem creep 10:49: Michael’s experience with sobriety 15:00: Abundance in today’s world: the industrial revolution, social media, and slot machines 21:17: Why we need a mission 25:31: Building resilience in a world of comfort and abundance 29:30: Personal agency vs systemic forces 38:09: The lost experience of boredom 48:19: Walking with weight 1:00:46: Getting back into nature 1:10:41: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. SponsorsVisit https://carawayhome.com/BEINGWELL to take an additional 10% off your next purchase of non-toxic cookware made modern. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions about the freeze state, ADHD, and power imbalances in relationships. First, they talk about how to deal with feelings of shame associated with the freeze state, emphasizing how we can “be with” in order to “work with.” Then they tackle a tricky question about how psychoeducation can complicate relationships. Next up, they discuss whether rates of ADHD have actually increased, and the differences between “real” ADHD vs. symptoms of screen addiction. Finally, they talk about how to think about the right fit with a therapist.  Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction 1:17: Question 1: Shame and the freeze state 19:12: Question 2: “My partner’s lack of psychoeducation is frustrating me!” 33:56: Question 3: “Why does everyone have ADHD?” 46:21: Question 4: “What’s the right amount of directness in therapy?” 56:01: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Protect your peace, set boundaries, don't let people drain your energy…there’s a lot of advice like that, and it’s easy to take it a little too far. Therapist and bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab joins Forrest to discuss the unintended consequences of the boundaries movement.  They talk about how the helpful concept of boundaries led some toward isolation and rigid standards, and focus on healthy dependency: the reality that we all need other people. Nedra explains the spectrum from codependency to hyper-independence, why your attachment style is more flexible than you think, and how the stories we tell about ourselves become self-fulfilling. Throughout, they focus on developing key aspects of healthy dependency: being able to ask for help, receive support, tolerate distance, feel comfortable in closeness, and repair after conflict.  About our Guest: Nedra Glover Tawwab is a licensed therapist, relationship expert, and best-selling author with over 2 million followers on social media. Her new book is The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro: Misconceptions around boundaries 7:14: What we get wrong about codependency 11:13: The consequences of individualism 15:00: How this all relates to attachment styles 20:03: Personal narratives and self-concept 24:50: Opposite action vs. trusting your gut 27:46: Developing self-awareness around your tendencies 34:42: Navigating distance and boundaries in relationships 44:30: Showing up for friends in difficult relationships 52:50: How to be in imperfect relationships  55:51: How to move out of the shallow zone in relationships  1:07:20: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Grab Huel today with my exclusive offer of 15% OFF online with my code BEINGWELL at huel.com/beingwell. New customers only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show! Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is mindfulness really? According to one fourth-grader, "Not hitting someone in the mouth." Legendary meditation teacher Sharon Salzberg joins Rick and Forrest to discuss how we can work skillfully with anger, fear, and reactivity without becoming doormats or numbing ourselves out through the lens of her new children’s book Kind Karl. They explore the protective function of anger, and how we can create more space by relating differently to our thoughts, emotions, and sense of self. Sharon shares a Buddhist lens that links anger and fear, and how looking closely at “what’s in the anger” can help us get clarity without collateral damage. Along the way, they talk about the difference between healthy moral anger and the habit of anger, how to extract the positive energy from difficult emotions without getting burned, and how lovingkindness and self-compassion can be active, strengthening forces.  About our Guest: Sharon Salzberg is the co-founder of the Insight Meditation Society, a world-renowned teacher of mindfulness, and author or co-author of 14 books including her seminal work Lovingkindness and her first children’s book Kind Karl: A Little Crocodile with Big Feelings. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro and Sharon’s new children’s book 1:30: Rick and Sharon’s personal history 3:40: Making abstract concepts direct and simple 6:00: “Mindfulness means not hitting someone in the mouth.” 12:30: Equanimity, reactivity, and our relationship with pleasure and pain 26:48: Healthy moral anger and outrage 34:17: How mindfulness decenters the self 43:53: Decoupling identity from states of suffering 50:23: Dissolving boundaries, self protection, and loneliness 1:03:09: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira explore a common source of relationship conflict: the mismatch between “fixing” (moving quickly into problem-solving) and “feeling” (wanting attunement and empathy before solutions). They talk about where these patterns come from, how each functions as a psychological defense, and the role of gender socialization, identity, and adaptation. The conversation also touches on trauma, nervous-system activation, and why building safety usually comes before real change. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro 3:40: “Fixing” vs. “feeling,” and why both can be protective strategies. 6:03: Socialization and learned coping styles. 9:12: Why conflict happens 14:28: Attunement, then problem-solving. 18:35: How discomfort with emotion shapes communication 30:48: What change looks like in practice. 33:49: Trauma and nervous-system activation 42:32: Helping logical-first people open up emotionally. 46:49: “Do you want empathy or solutions?” 49:03: Teaser about Complex PTSD in relationships. 52:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Grab Huel today with my exclusive offer of 15% OFF online with my code BEINGWELL at huel.com/beingwell. New customers only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show! Over 100,000 people have given their Caraway Kitchen products a 5 star rating, and Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason. Visit Carawayhome.com/BEINGWELL or use code BEINGWELL at checkout. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Top performance coach and author Brad Stulberg joins Forrest to reframe and reclaim excellence. Brad explains how real excellence - involved engagement with something you care about - is the healthy middle path between over-the-top hustle-culture and detached nonchalance. They discuss the current culture of pseudo-excellence, the risks and rewards of caring deeply, how modern life can derail us, and how the real prize is the person you become while trying to reach your goals. Brad shares practical tools to build the habit of excellence: clear aims, micro-milestones, consistency over intensity, constraint-based discipline, and connection. About our Guest: Brad is a regular contributor at the New York Times, the co-host of the Excellence, Actually podcast, and on faculty at the University of Michigan’s Graduate School of Public Health. He’s also the author of a number of books, including The Way of Excellence: A Guide to True Greatness and Deep Satisfaction in a Chaotic World. Key Topics:  0:00: Life feels better when we’re “trying well” 1:56: What does Brad mean by excellence? 3:42: What excellence is not 5:06: Staying on the path: how to keep going when results are slow 11:56: Excellence vs. skill 21:10: The Nonchalance Epidemic 27:29: Building your “identity house” 35:29: Specific tools for excellence 44:12: Excellence vs flow 50:10: Finding the enjoyable aspects of hard things 1:01:11: Gumption 1:03:57: “See the ball go through the net” 1:05:56: How to finish a process that never ends 1:13:22: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Grab Huel today with my exclusive offer of 15% OFF online with my code BEINGWELL at huel.com/beingwell. New customers only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show! Over 100,000 people have given their Caraway Kitchen products a 5 star rating, and Caraway’s cookware set is a favorite for a reason. Visit Carawayhome.com/BEINGWELL or use code BEINGWELL at checkout. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how well-intentioned self-help advice can drift away from science under the incentives of the attention economy, where overclaiming, alarmist framing, and “this one simple trick” outperforms nuance. They talk about how authority gets manufactured, how the algorithm encourages overclaiming, and how “theories of everything” lead to misinformation. Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss whether seemingly harmless pseudoscientific practices can create a slippery slope, lowering the importance of material evidence and acting as an on-ramp to more consequential misinformation. Key Topics:  0:00 Introduction 2:00 The attention economy 9:00 The problems with clickbait 18:30: The risks of sprawling expertise 25:15: Modality capture: when all you have is a hammer 27:15: ADHD and trauma 39:24: If science changes, what can we trust? 42:30: How “fringe” can become mainstream 50:10: How do you decide who to trust? 1:06:00: The slippery slope of “woo” 1:11:35: What’s a better alternative? 1:21:11: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Grab Huel today with my exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code BEINGWELL at https://www.huel.com/beingwell. New customers only. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can put our key values into action in 2026. They discuss how we can identify authentic values, and then translate them into goals and daily behaviors while reducing our focus on outcomes we don’t control. Forrest focuses on insights from Self-Determination Theory, and Dr. Rick shares how to create a warmer inner climate, and they talk about the overall importance of self-belief. The episode includes a number of practical tools related to environment design, scheduling, social accountability, and how to overcome obstacles. Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction 2:00: What values are you focusing on this year? 8:50: Turning your values into plans 16:00: Motivation is “context dependent” 22:10: Claiming autonomy in an imperfect world 34:20: Turning ideas into specific behaviors 41:15: Updating self-concept 51:00: How to deal with normal obstacles 1:00:34: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this New Year’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest make the case that most resolutions fail because they focus on the wrong things: outcomes and behaviors rather than key values. They explore how we can identify our important values, embrace caring about them, and start to let them change our behavior. Forrest talks about how we can differentiate authentic values from “conditions of worth,” and Dr. Rick shares a number of ways to get more in touch with what matters to you. Topics include translating “shoulds” into values, experiencing more autonomy and agency, creating personal narratives, and finding your “stance toward the year.” Key Topics:  0:00: Intro: values, self-concept, and levels of action 7:22: Living from states of having, doing, and being 13:09: Stances toward life based in threat versus opportunity; what are you paying attention to? 20:18: Examining “shoulds” to find and define your authentic values  33:30: Emulating the people you admire and respect most 41:55: Strategies to identify your root values  54:05: Recap Rick's Goals Course: If you want to get more out of the year ahead check out Rick’s online course on resolutions that last. Learn more at RickHanson.com/goals, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Not caring - or nonchalance - is having a cultural moment. Nihilism is in, trying too hard is cringe, and the best way to cope with an often disappointing world is by not getting that invested. There’s just one problem: it’s hard to live a meaningful life without caring. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick close 2025 by making the case for healthy caring: choosing objects of care wisely, prioritizing process over outcome, and cultivating equanimity without slipping into apathy. They do this by exploring four common obstacles that keep people from caring, sharing practical ways to work with each of them. Key Topics:  Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about resentment, highly sensitive people, situationships, and expanding the window of tolerance. In the first three questions, they explore how resentment shows up across different relationships, including with coworkers, family members, and romantic partners. They discuss when to speak up, when to let go, and the underrated options in between. They then talk about agency, self awareness, and the expectations of others through two questions about highly sensitive people and building tolerance for discomfort. They close with a surprise bonus question for Forrest from Dr. Rick. Key Topics:  3:51: Question 1: When should I address resentment with coworkers? 15:46: Question 2: How to deal with resentful family members? 24:26: Question 3: Is my jealousy and resentment post-situationship valid? 34:23: Question 4: What are appropriate requests as a Highly Sensitive Person? 50:30: Question 5: How can I build the capacity to embrace discomfort? 56:14: BONUS BIRTHDAY QUESTION from Dr. Rick 1:00:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore one of the major topics in psychology today: the tension between "mainstream" and "alternative" approaches, and how to understand evidence-based care. Using the recent IFS controversy as a backdrop, they discuss what it means for an approach to be evidence-based, the real-world dangers of inflated claims, and therapy’s complex relationship with the medical model. They get into the weeds on study design, effect sizes, insurance, why different approaches may or may not have a large body of evidence, and how to think about the research on “common factors” in therapy. Dr. Rick and Forrest offer a simple framework for making good decisions amidst all of this complexity. Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction: the IFS article 7:27: Psychotherapy as medicine vs. personal growth practices 15:31: “Don’t know” mind versus “durrr who knows?” mind 19:50: What counts as evidence? 29:58: What does it mean for a therapy to be evidence-based? 42:38: How do we know therapy works? 53:45: Getting on your own team 59:07: Complexities with the medical model 1:10:24: How insurance and the healthcare system complicate the picture 1:18:27: Dr. Rick’s top two takeaways 1:29:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by psychiatrist Dr. Blaise Aguirre to discuss Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). They explore how extreme emotional sensitivity can lead to despair, self-hatred, suicidality, and an intense fear of abandonment, and how DBT can teach the skills needed to regulate those feelings. They discuss the nature of self-hatred, how to change the stories you’ve told about yourself, and how their insight and empathy can make people with BPD some of his favorite clients to work with. About our Guest: Dr. Blaise Aguirre is the medical director of 3East at McLean Hospital, a residential DBT program for adolescents and young adults, and is an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He’s also the co-author of a number of books including DBT for Dummies, and the author of I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You. Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction 4:05: Common features of BPD 15:16: Skill-building versus narrative work in therapy 22:10: What DBT looks like in practice 27:02: DBT skills: mindfulness, dialectic thinking, and opposite action 33:43: How to shift self-hatred 49:22: Stigmatization of BPD 53:25: BPD versus CPTSD 58:52: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore toxic relationships, focusing on how to identify and exit them. Rick talks about how positive traits like empathy, loyalty, and a sense of duty can keep us stuck. They then discuss common relationship red flags like lovebombing, cycles of idealization and devaluation, power imbalances, and what Forrest calls “the fuzz.” Finally, they talk about how people can increase their chances of a healthy exit. Other topics include developing self-trust, trauma-bonding, shame, and avoiding the cycle of “maybe next time they’ll…” Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction 3:05: Why do good people stay in bad relationships? 10:02: Relationship red flags: the dark triad, devaluation, lovebombing, and the fuzz 24:17: How this shows up in Dr. Rick’s practice 39:48: How to get out: building self-trust, increasing your options, and duty to yourself 1:12:33: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Becky Kennedy joins Forrest for a conversation about building better relationships, with ourselves, our partners, and our children. They talk about Dr. Becky’s framework of “good inside,” and how we can apply it to ourselves. Dr. Becky explains how many of the struggles parents face trace back to their own childhood experiences, and suggests how we can reparent ourselves by learning emotional regulation, working with shame, and becoming sturdier. They also cover the limits of behavioral control models, deeply feeling kids, maintaining boundaries when things get hard, and building connection capital. About our Guest: Dr. Becky is a clinical psychologist, founder of Good Inside, and author of the book by the same name. She has over 4 million social media followers, and is one of the most influential people in the world of parenting today. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro 1:51: Self-development and individual agency in parenting 7:37: Dr. Becky’s process for addressing problematic behaviors 12:48: Parenting as an opportunity for personal growth 16:26: Becoming “sturdy” 19:13: Two jobs of a parent: boundaries and empathy 28:29: Reparenting ourselves 38:40: Shame and deeply feeling kids 44:39: Building connection capital 50:06: Resilience over happiness 57:28: Does parenting content increase parental anxiety?  1:02:30: How to grow as a parent without shame or self-blame 1:07:06: Repair in relationships 1:13:27: Gentle parenting vs sturdy parenting 1:18:33: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about effective communication, healthy relationships, and contentment. They explore how defining boundaries, taking maximum reasonable responsibility, and extending an olive branch can help manage ongoing conflict without sacrificing your own needs. They then discuss the power dynamics, ethics, and practicalities of non-monogamy, emphasizing the importance of fairly balancing the rights and needs of everyone involved. Finally, they explore how to cultivate the habit of contentment, even amidst imperfect circumstances.  Key Topics:  0:00: Introduction 3:36: Question 1: “We had an argument and now they’re being mean to me!” 14:18: Question 2: “I set a boundary, and they’re being really passive aggressive” 27:32: Question 3: “My partner wants a non-monogamous relationship. What now?” 48:14: Question 4: “I can’t find contentment anywhere, help!” 1:03:51: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this very fun episode, Forrest and Elizabeth discuss how to get on the same team in a relationship. They explore how conditions of worth, masking, and developmental trauma can get in the way of showing up authentically, and how falling into common relationship roles can reinforce this. Elizabeth talks about how healthy anger can actually be a productive force in a relationship, and how relationships change when both members start prioritizing the other’s wants and needs. Other topics include “dating yourself,” embracing the slightly weirder version of who you are, and celebrating self-exploration. Key Topics:  1:48: Getting on the same team  3:34: “Conditions of worth,” and authenticity 16:13: Vulnerability in relationships 25:38: Wielding anger effectively 38:05: Fairness, and honoring your partner’s needs 42:49: Dating yourself 47:35: Celebrating self exploration 53:57: Changing our relationship with our parts 01:04:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to ⁠Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health⁠ wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to ⁠Quince.com/BEINGWELL⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out ⁠Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.⁠  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to ⁠myskylight.com/BEINGWELL⁠. Go to ⁠Zocdoc.com/BEING⁠ to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at ⁠shopify.com/beingwell⁠. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re featuring an episode from another show I think you’re really going to connect with: Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health. Can a meaningful friendship bridge a 51-year age gap and help combat social isolation? Meet Peter and Pooja; two unlikely companions whose intergenerational bond proves that friendships can flourish when we break down barriers and embrace human connection. In this episode of Turning Points, explore how Peter and Pooja’s weekly conversations through Boston's FriendshipWorks program evolved from a simple volunteer match into a life-changing friendship filled with book launches, grocery runs, and life advice that flows both ways. We also speak with Kyle Robidoux, Executive Director of FriendshipWorks. He shares insights on addressing social isolation and loneliness and how community-based friendship programs are strengthening social connections. Peter and Pooja's transformative friendship shows that when we approach relationships without preconceived notions, we can unlock the healing power of human connection. Their story offers hope and practical wisdom for anyone struggling with loneliness or seeking to build deeper, more meaningful relationships. Check out Turning Points: http://globe.com/truningpoints Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re revisiting some of our favorite episodes to explore one of the most salient topics in psychology today: trauma. We begin by tracing its developmental roots with Dr. Lindsay Gibson and Dr. Bessel van Der Kolk, before looking at how it can be passed down through family systems with Dr. Mariel Buqué, associate somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira, and author Stephanie Foo. Dr. Jacob Ham and Dr. Peter Levine then share new perspectives on healing, emphasizing the importance of getting out of the head and into the body. Finally, Dr. Gabor Maté discusses the cultural context of trauma, arguing that it's a symptom of a toxic culture. Key Topics:  02:15: Dr. Lindsay Gibson on The Last Impact of Inconsistent Parenting and Lack of Attunement 23:16: Dr. Bessel van Der Kolk on Internalizing Abuse 39:34: Dr. Mariel Buqué on Intergenerational Trauma 58:54: Elizabeth Ferreira on Intergenerational Trauma, Complex PTSD, and Somatic Techniques 1:23:23: Stephanie Foo on Healing from Complex PTSD through Relationships 1:47:15: Dr. Jacob Ham on the Limits of Conceptualizing when treating Complex Trauma 2:06:52: Dr. Peter Levine on Somatic Experiencing and Moving Trauma Through Your Body 2:20:55: Dr. Gabor Maté and our Toxic Culture 2:43:55: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Listen to Turning Points: Navigating Mental Health wherever you get your podcasts. Follow the show so you never miss an episode.  Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson.  Skylight is offering our listeners $20 off their 10 inch Skylight Frame by going to myskylight.com/BEINGWELL. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by one of the world’s top executive coaches, Joe Hudson, for a conversation focused on how we can reduce self-punishment and live more fulfilling lives by welcoming our emotions and loosening identification with the critical mind. They discuss Joe’s “The Golden Algorithm” - our tendency to recreate the emotions we try to avoid - and explore the three pillars of emotional fluidity, cognitive clarity, and nervous system awareness. Joe emphasizes how good change usually comes from reconnecting with who we already are, and welcoming fear, pleasure, and imperfection along the way. Really enjoyed this one, I hope you do too! About our Guest: Joe Hudson is the founder of the Art of Accomplishment, and is one of the most sought-after teachers among the world’s top leaders at OpenAI, Alphabet, Apple, and more. He coaches a small group of executives by invitation only, and has collaborated with teachers like Esther Perel, Bessel van der Kolk, Patty Wipfler, and Tiago Forte. Key Topics: 1:14: The Three Pillars: Emotion, Cognition, Nervous System 8:29: Self-improvement as an act of authenticity 15:44: Deconstructing our thoughts 23:19: The golden algorithm, repression, and why we recreate our pain 31:31: Working with the nervous system 34:11: Shame 43:14: Emotions as windows into wants and needs 49:45: Perfectionism 55:27: Enjoying life 1:08:07: Recap Learn more about Joe's work:  Complimentary transformation guide: https://www.artofaccomplishment.com/  Art of Accomplishment YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@ArtofAccomplishment Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Feel good...and mean it when you say it! Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss how we can regulate our emotions by feeling, managing, and processing them more effectively. They begin by unpacking common misconceptions and clarifying what healthy regulation looks like - feeling our feelings without being overwhelmed by them. From there, they walk through the three key steps of emotional regulation, focusing on practical tools like cognitive defusion and opposite action.  Topics include interoception, the window of tolerance, cognitive bypassing, suppression/repression, and finding a balance between acceptance and agency. Key Topics: 1:59: What Does Emotional Regulation Look Like? 6:08: The Three Aspects of Emotional Regulation 12:35: Step 1: Feeling Your Feelings 27:20: Step 2: Managing Your Feelings 58:50: Step 3: Processing (and maybe expressing) Your Feelings 1:10:10: Recap Rick’s Course on Grief and Loss: Join Rick for his new, four-week long online program where you’ll soothe emotional pain, find perspective and meaning, and hold whatever happened with acceptance and compassion. Learn more at RickHanson.com/loss and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Feel good...and mean it when you say it! Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer listener questions about trauma and its impact on personality, boundaries, anger, and burnout. They discuss how to distinguish the authentic self from the patterns we needed to learn to survive, how to balance duty to self with duty to others, and how to work with explosive anger by first joining with it. Finally, they discuss the importance of moving from empathic distress to compassion in order to prevent caregiver fatigue. Topics include cognitive defusion, taking a bird’s eye view, filling your own cup, and being with your feelings without judging them. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 01:30: Question 1: Trauma or Personality? 07:53: Question 2: Managing Boundaries with a Depressed Partner 28:32: Question 3: Dealing with Explosive Anger 37:45: Question 4: How to Prevent Caregiver Fatigue 47:16: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the silent killer of relationships: resentment. They discuss resentment as a combination of perceived grievance (“I was wronged”) and helplessness (“and I can’t fix it”), before talking about how over-functioning and control tendencies can lead to resentment in relationships - one person shoulders more of the load while quietly stewing about it. Topics include the role of rumination in keeping resentment alive, the difference between legitimate grievances and toxic rumination, and why resentment can feel protective. Rick shares a step-by-step framework for handling resentment when repair isn’t possible, while Forrest highlights how communication and claiming agency can be powerful antidotes. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro 04:14: Legitimate grievances vs. unhealthy resentment 09:44: How perceptions of injustice and helplessness fuel resentment 20:04: Claiming your agency 34:41: How to work through resentment with others 50:11: How to work through resentment when you can’t work through it with others 1:02:51: Recap Grief and Loss Course: In this four-week online program Rick will help you soothe emotional pain, find perspective and meaning, and hold whatever happened with acceptance and compassion. Learn more at RickHanson.com/loss and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount.   Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore humanistic psychology, the mid-20th century movement that redefined how therapists relate to clients. It challenged the pessimism of Freud and the mechanism of behaviorism, offering a more hopeful alternative: that our nature is fundamentally good, and our job is to let it shine through. They discuss Carl Rogers’ work, including self-actualization, conditions of worth, unconditional positive regard, trusting your experience, and the central role of the therapeutic alliance. Throughout, they focus on what you can take from these ideas into your life. Key Topics:  00:00: Intro 03:40: Humanism as a response to psychoanalysis 09:53: Humanism’s core principles: inherent goodness, wholism, self-actualization, agency, and subjective experience 21:35: What does humanistic therapy actually look like? 32:46: Congruence, conditions of worth, and authenticity 40:54: History and context: post-WWII and the civil rights movement 56:09: Critiques of humanism 1:02:40: Lessons we can all take from humanistic psychology 1:13:41: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

AI chatbots may already be the largest providers of mental health services in the United States, raising big questions about safety, effectiveness, and oversight. Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Dr. Nick Jacobson to explore the risks and opportunities of AI therapy: Can a chatbot be good at therapy? Will it replace human therapists? What about AI psychosis? How should we think about privacy, bias, and regulation? Is this a silver bullet for mental health access, or are we just opening a new can of worms? About our Guest: Nick is associate professor of biomedical data science, psychiatry, and computer science at Dartmouth, and directs the AI and Mental Health Laboratory there. He’s also the developer of Therabot, a generative AI therapy chatbot that predates ChatGPT, and he’s one of the first researchers to run a clinical trial on AI therapy. Key Topics: 02:35: Is AI going to replace human therapists? 05:00: Risks of using ChatGPT as your therapist, and general vs. therapy-specific AI 14:30: What should people be worried about? 19:14: Is AI good at therapy? 29:58: Bias, values, and “who’s watching the watchers” 39:17: Is there something unique about a human therapist? 52:21: Oversight and the self-driving car analogy 1:00:51: Personhood, consciousness, and risks of anthropomorphizing AI 1:11:00: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to use a life crisis productively, drawing on developmental stage theories, existential philosophy, literature, personal experience, and Rick’s clinical work. They examine the anxieties of death, freedom, responsibility, and choice that often underlie these crises, and discuss how we can not only cope with these anxieties but also harness them to build a more authentic life. Throughout, they simplify, summarize, and invite you to focus on not just the next 10 years, but the next 10 minutes. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 5:26: Life Stages: Erickson and Levinson 15:34: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Discontent 17:18: Inner Conflict and the Anxiety of Choice 24:18: Guidelines for Having a “Good Life Crisis” 29:36: Seizing Each Day 33:00: Coping with the Anxiety of Choice 35:17: Authenticity, Values, and Living True to Yourself 44:17: Roles and Life Transitions 46:28: Clarifying Your Values 52:09: Taking Action 57:28: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you are exploring whether you might be neurodivergent, check out Hyperfocus with Rae Jacobson. Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and therapist Meg Josephson explore the fawn response, a survival strategy where safety is sought by pleasing other people. They discuss how fawning can start as self-protection in childhood, but later morph into overthinking, hypervigilance, and self-abandonment. Meg shares her own experience, including how fawning creates resentment and makes it difficult to find a healthy relationship or figure out your authentic needs. Topics include becoming aware of unconscious habits, building distress tolerance, grief, self-compassion, healthy boundaries, and speaking up for ourselves. About our Guest: Meg Josephson is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and author of the new book Are You Mad at Me? Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:18: Self-sabotage as self-protection 4:01: Bringing the unconscious fawn response into awareness 9:51: Silencing wants and needs, conflict avoidance, and resentment 14:33: Rediscovering wants and needs after people pleasing 18:05: The healing arc: grief, anger, and relationship 25:30: Viewing people pleasing as a “part” rather than an identity 30:11: Nice vs. compassionate 51:36: Hypervigilance and the NICER practice 57:22: Authenticity as “uncovering” rather than “fixing” 1:03:02: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you have ADHD, or you love someone who does, I’d recommend checking out the podcast ADHD aha! Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag to answer questions about complex situations where good process really matters. They discuss whether to get back with an ex who has seemingly changed, relationships with someone with addictive tendencies, the difference between Narcissistic Personality Disorder and narcissistic tendencies, and why genuine change requires more than insight alone. Other topics include how much to tell your therapist, fears of being misunderstood, and how to approach meditation if you have an underlying vulnerability. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction  2:00: Should I get back with my ex? 13:40: Dating someone with long-term substance use 19:30: Narcissistic traits vs. narcissistic personality disorder 32:40: How much research to bring into therapy 39:50: Fear of being misunderstood and hyper-rationality 47:40: Safe meditation practices for people at risk of depersonalization 55:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and therapist Brandy Wyant discuss limerence, an intense and often one-sided state of romantic obsession. They explore how limerence differs from both love and ordinary crushes, why uncertainty fuels it, and how it can take over a person’s inner world. Brandy shares both clinical insights and her own lived experience, describing the obsessive thoughts, compulsive behaviors, and shame that often accompany limerence. They examine its overlap with OCD and addiction, and discuss practical strategies from CBT and ACT. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: What is limerence? 5:26: Limerence vs. a crush 11:28: Why research and treatment lag behind 13:38: Treatment approaches and practical strategies 24:47: Attachment, susceptibility, and shame 29:05: How limerence shapes relationships 38:12: Online communities and reinforcing obsession 49:18: Self-worth and validation 53:41: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest are joined by Mingyur Rinpoche, a renowned Tibetan Buddhist teacher, to explore calming anxiety with awareness, relaxing unhealthy wanting, and finding a deeper sense of our innate goodness. Rinpoche shares how a near-death experience during his four-year “wandering retreat” transformed his relationship to fear and deepened his gratitude for life. They discuss practical ways to see the true nature of the mind, soften the grip of aversion and attachment, reframe fear as care, and embrace impermanence as a path to freedom. Learn more about Rinpoche's live teaching in South Africa and join for free online at https://tergar.org/southafrica. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:33: How a near-death experience dissolved Rinpoche’s fear 7:06: Learning not to fight panic attacks 10:25: Seeing anxiety as clouds in the sky 14:18: Awareness, wisdom, and love as innate qualities 18:39: Recognizing basic goodness even in self-hatred 25:28: Courage to be with doubt and uncertainty 27:51: “Anytime, anywhere” meditation practice 33:57: Awareness and emptiness as inseparable 46:49: Letting old selves die and embracing change 52:41: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the evolution of psychoanalysis after Freud, highlighting key ideas from figures like Adler, Klein, Winnicott, and Hillman. They track how the field expanded from focusing on the individual ego all the way out to exploring the existential forces that shape who we are. They focus on what lessons we can take away from each of these influential thinkers into our everyday lives. Topics include inferiority complexes, defense mechanisms, object relations, authentic vs. false self, developmental psychology, adaptation, and our confrontation with life's ultimate concerns like death and meaninglessness. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 4:20: Alfred Adler: Inferiority, contribution, and healthy striving 14:05: Anna Freud: Ego defenses and real-time coping 20:09: Erik Erikson: Lifespan development and identity crises 33:20: Melanie Klein: Object relations, splitting, and managing complexity 46:46: Donald Winnicott: True self, good-enough parenting, and holding environments 51:09: Heinz Kohut: Self-psychology, mirroring, and healthy narcissism 1:02:32: Wilhelm Reich: Somatic therapy and character armor 1:08:25: Neo-Jungians: Archetypes, imagination, and symbolic mind 1:18:18: Irvin Yalom: Existential psychotherapy and meaning-making 1:26:50: Recap  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Try Daily30+, the 30+ plant prebiotic supplement from ZOE. Go to zoe.com/daily30 today, and you’ll get a free bright yellow ZOE tin and a magnetic scoop. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira talk about healthy (and unhealthy) anger. They challenge the common framing of anger as a “secondary emotion,” and explore why anger matters, how it relates to trauma, and what it can tell us about our wants and needs. They discuss how to access healthy protest and work with less healthy forms of anger like explosive rage, repression, defensiveness, passive aggression, and righteousness. Elizabeth shares insights from both her personal experience as someone with CPTSD and her clinical practice. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction: Why anger matters, and why it’s misunderstood 3:32: How trauma shapes our relationship to anger 5:40: Bypassing anger in therapy 9:04: What happens when anger is suppressed 12:29: Reclaiming anger: submit, explode, or something else 15:45: Anger as a signal of wants and needs 16:20: Boundaries, protest, and complex trauma 25:01: When CPTSD makes it hard to know what you want 30:06: Dissociation, structural trauma, and accessing anger 35:04: Why we need others to co-regulate big emotions 43:20: Emotional responsibility, self-awareness, and repair 53:26: Reconnecting with wants and needs through play Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Try Daily30+, the 30+ plant prebiotic supplement from ZOE. Go to zoe.com/daily30 today, and you’ll get a free bright yellow ZOE tin and a magnetic scoop. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the ideas, context, and legacy of psychoanalysis, the often-controversial origin point for modern therapy. They discuss psychoanalysis’ early history and key concepts like the unconscious mind, repression, inner conflict, and transference. Alongside those major contributions, they wrestle with what hasn’t aged so well: the reductionism, murky ethics, and deep entanglements with colonialism and the Victorian worldview. This episode is both a tribute to and a critique of psychoanalysis as a rich, flawed, and deeply influential starting point for modern therapy. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction: Why do this episode? 3:40: Appreciating historical and cultural context in therapy 7:15: What is psychoanalysis? 10:35: Freud’s key insight, and the five “big ideas” of psychoanalysis 18:00: The structure of the mind 24:00: Repression, catharsis, and “experiencing out” 27:35: Transference, countertransference, and defenses 29:10: Freud’s psychosexual theory and its legacy 32:55: What psychoanalysis looks like in practice today 41:05: Historical origins: Freud, hysteria, and the “talking cure” 46:45: Freud’s philosophical influences and colonial context 52:00: The moral and political implications of psychoanalytic theory 58:10: Freud’s personal contradictions and complicated legacy 1:07:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, [follow this link](https://www.patreon.com/beingwellpodcast) Sponsors Try Daily30+, the 30+ plant prebiotic supplement from ZOE. Go to zoe.com/daily30 today, and you’ll get a free bright yellow ZOE tin and a magnetic scoop. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick discuss what's really wrong with the self-help industry, going beyond the obvious pseudoscience and snake oil to examine deeper structural issues. They explore the industry's mixed-bag focus on individual responsibility, the risks of turning healing into a never-ending project, performative personal growth, narcissism, social media and capitalism, and honest striving vs. hustle culture. They also talk about their personal experiences navigating our relationship to the industry. Throughout, Rick and Forrest emphasize finding the middle path: balancing agency with awareness, growth with acceptance, and sincerity with skepticism. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 4:32: Healthy striving vs. obsessive self-improvement 8:27: The role of motivation: growth, shame, and self-worth 12:13: Problems with placing all responsibility on the individual 20:46: Performative self-help and spiritual status-seeking 26:13: Excessive self-preoccupation and narcissistic drift 34:34: Buddhist insights on “selfing” and the illusion of identity 44:43: Self-help as hustle culture 50:57: The generational shift from grindset to bed rotting 54:09: The self-help industrial complex and its incentives 58:56: Commodifying the self and seeking validation 1:04:18: Creating ethical, transparent content 1:08:12: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Try Daily30+, the 30+ plant prebiotic supplement from ZOE. Go to zoe.com/daily30 today, and you’ll get a free bright yellow ZOE tin and a magnetic scoop. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions about perfectionism, performance anxiety, trauma, and relationships. They explore how early praise for being “gifted” can create a fear of failure and contribute to “failure to launch,” and share ways to shift from focusing on an idealized future to appreciating your actual self right now. They discuss learned helplessness, the freeze response, and practical ways to build agency and vitality to counter feelings of powerlessness. Other topics include the differences between borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder, overcoming performance anxiety, and how to decide which friendships are worth investing in. Key Topics: 02:30: Gifted kid syndrome and fear of failure 08:00: Moving from potential to presence 15:50: Performance anxiety and perfectionism 18:50: Redefining success through process goals 22:30: Learned helplessness and the freeze response 29:30: Reclaiming agency and vitality 38:00: Failure to launch in adulthood 45:00: BPD vs. Bipolar disorder 55:00: Rethinking modern friendship advice 1:03:34: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Try Daily30+, the 30+ plant prebiotic supplement from ZOE. Go to zoe.com/daily30 today, and you’ll get a free bright yellow ZOE tin and a magnetic scoop. Join hundreds of thousands of people who are taking charge of their health. Learn more and join Function at functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL. For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Listen now to the Life Kit podcast from NPR. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira to discuss parts work, psychological defenses, and how real change happens. They talk about the inner child work Forrest recently did during an episode with renowned therapist Terry Real, and how that led to meaningful changes in their relationship. Elizabeth and Forrest unpack the therapeutic process Terry led Forrest through, and discuss clinical technique, why small shifts can lead to big changes, the challenges of working with developmentally young material, and why insight alone is rarely enough. The episode with Terry we refer to throughout this conversation is titled “Terry Real: Relationships, Trauma, and Inner Child Work.” Here’s the Spotify link.  Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:40: Elizabeth’s reaction to Forrest’s work with Terry 5:05: Avoidance vs. anxiety 7:21: Unpacking Terry Real’s therapeutic approach 14:37: Avoiding through “fixing” 20:54: What’s changed since then? 31:00: Elizabeth’s experience with inner child work 42:32: How does real change happen? 51:54: “You can’t make your partner change.” 55:15: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Function is offering 160+ Lab Tests for $365 to anyone who signs up between July 7th and July 11th. To learn more and get started, visit www.functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Life today is safer and more comfortable than ever before, so why do so many people feel unhappy, lonely, and anxious? Forrest talks with evolutionary psychologist Dr. William von Hippel about this paradox in light of our two core needs: autonomy and connection. He argues that modern life has pushed us too far in the direction of autonomy, and that we need to reclaim connection in order to find happiness.  They discuss how our evolutionary past shaped our needs for autonomy and connection, the tension between them, and why social connection matters so much for our well-being. They also touch on gender and cultural differences, common misunderstandings about evolutionary psychology, and what people can do to create more balanced and connected lives today. About our Guest: Dr. William von Hippel is an evolutionary psychologist and former professor at the University of Queensland. He has authored over 150 scientific publications including his books The Social Leap and The Social Paradox. Key Topics: 0:00: Why hasn’t modern life made us happier? 3:20: The evolution of autonomy and connection 10:15: How modern life favors autonomy over connection 18:10: “Sad success stories,” and the cost of competence 20:00: Competence vs warmth as social signals 26:00: Evolutionary mismatch, and its impact on well-being 29:00: How to understand evolutionary psychology 34:00: Evolved gender differences in autonomy and connection 42:00: Balancing sociocultural and evolutionary differences 49:00: What do those gender differences look like in practice? 55:50: Finding a healthy balance between autonomy and connection 1:08:55: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by renowned therapist Terry Real and his son Justin for a frank exploration of modern masculinity. They talk about why so many men feel like they’re struggling these days, and how the traditional model of masculinity perpetuates this problem. They discuss the appeal of red pill cultures, the cultural pushback against gender equality, and how to convince men that the answer is not more dominance but more connection. Other topics include emotional intelligence, creating fulfilling relationships, and how men can claim a healthier understanding of strength. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: Terry on patriarchy and male disconnection 7:56: Justin on being raised in an emotionally aware environment 11:34: The problem of male invulnerability 14:35: What do women actually want? 18:10: Strength, relationality, and loving power 27:50: Common patterns in therapy 35:20: The performance of masculinity 49:01: Parenting, gender literacy, and fatherhood 52:10: Selling this to men, and the need for new models 59:48: Recap Rick’s Change Your Mind Course: Learn how to break old scripts, get some space around self-doubting thoughts, and act in a new way. Six-week course starts June 21, learn more about it at RickHanson.com/changing. Use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive 25% off. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve all had moments where we watch ourselves make the exact wrong choice: procrastinating on an important task, picking a fight in a good relationship, or pulling back just when things are starting to go well. This is self-sabotage, and in this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why we do it and how to stop. They talk about how self-sabotage often serves as a form of psychological self-protection, and why doing well can feel like a threat to our identity, before discussing avoidance coping, the conflict between aspects of who we are, and why we stay safe rather than stepping forward. Along the way, they offer practical strategies for updating outdated internal models, working with different parts of ourselves, and building the inner resources that make real change possible. Change Your Mind with Rick: Learn how to break old patterns and change the thoughts that keep you stuck with Rick’s six-week online course on the science of changing your mind. Learn more at RickHanson.com/changing and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:05: What is self-sabotage, really? 6:10: Why self-sabotage is often a form of protection 10:20: Avoidance coping and the logic of “safe failure” 14:40: The identity cost of doing well 18:55: Internal conflict and the parts model 26:15: Challenge vs. threat: how the brain evaluates risk 32:05: Real-life examples of self-sabotage 37:30: How to begin working with self-sabotaging parts 45:45: Working with self-destructive parts 51:10: Creating safer conditions for growth 57:25: Building a feedback loop that reinforces trust 1:02:40: Recap and additional take-aways Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What gets in the way of truly intimate, healthy relationships…and what can we do about it? In this moving episode, Forrest is joined by renowned couples therapist Terry Real to explore how we can build deeper, more meaningful connections. They unpack key concepts from Relational Life Therapy, including the shift from “me” to “us,” the difference between the adaptive child and wise adult, and how to stay grounded during conflict through relational mindfulness. Terry explains how individualism and patriarchal conditioning fuel disconnection, and how therapy can help couples move from power struggles to true collaboration. A highlight of the episode is a live experiential process, where Terry guides Forrest through some inner child work. About our Guest: Terry Real is a family therapist, speaker, and bestselling author known for his groundbreaking work on men, masculinity, and relationships. He is the founder of Relational Life Therapy (RLT) and the author of several books including The New Rules of Marriage and Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction  1:34: Systemic thinking in therapy, and the cultural forces that shape relationships 9:00: RLT and confrontation in therapy 12:58: The Adaptive Child, Wise Adult, and how internal parts shape how we relate 17:13: Relational mindfulness, and moving from 'me' to 'us' 27:12: Fierce intimacy: why telling the truth is more loving than being “nice” 30:16: Psychological patriarchy, and how it ruins our relationships 43:28: Experiential process: Terry guides Forrest through inner child work 54:07: How patriarchal norms distort emotional connection for men 1:06:24: Recap Rick’s Change Your Mind Course: Learn how to break old scripts, get some space around self-doubting thoughts, and act in a new way. Six-week course starts June 21, learn more about it at RickHanson.com/changing. Use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive 25% off. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by therapist Kimberley Quinlan to explore one of the most misunderstood anxiety disorders: obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Drawing from her clinical and personal experience, Kimberley breaks down what OCD is, how it differs from general anxiety, and the ways it’s often mischaracterized. They discuss the core features of obsessions and compulsions, and how these can manifest across a wide range of themes, including harm, contamination, morality, and relationships. Kimberley explains how Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) works, what makes an exposure “good,” and how to build tolerance for distress rather than trying to eliminate it. They also touch on self-compassion, the role of medication, and the stigmas that can keep people from getting help. About our Guest: Kimberley Quinlan is a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, host of the popular Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast, and the founder of CBTschool.com. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:19: Kimberley’s personal experience with OCD 3:36: What is OCD? Obsessions vs. compulsions 8:18: The relationship between trauma (PTSD) and OCD in Kimberley’s experience 11:12: ERP and approaches to treatment 17:14: Differences between clinical ERP and informal exposure practices 24:30: Imaginal exposures for fears that can’t be physically enacted 28:52: Resourcing for exposure 30:26: What if exposure goes poorly?  34:38: Role of self-compassion in OCD treatment 37:02: Considering medication: benefits, stigma, and SSRIs 42:52: Unhooking from intrusive thoughts: ACT, mindfulness, DBT 53:59: “How can I make this my bravest day?” 57:45: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this very fun episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest open the mailbag and answer questions from listeners about people pleasing, the potential (and pitfalls) of using AI as a therapist, and what to do when you develop strong feelings for your therapist. They discuss existential themes like aloneness and agency, whether Gandalf would have made a good therapist, and close with some heartfelt thoughts about what supports a long and loving relationship. Rick’s Attachment Course: Rick is offering a 5-week course on healing insecure attachment that helps people work through attachment issues and improve their relationships. All the sessions are up now, and there's a live Q&A event on May 27, 2025 at 12pm PT via Zoom. You can learn more at RickHanson.com/attachment and get 25% off with coupon code BeingWell25. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and Opening Banter 2:50: Question 1: People-Pleasing vs. Prosocial Advice for Depression 6:10: Follow-Up: Do We Train Others to Ignore Our Needs? 11:20: Creating Reciprocal Relationships 12:23: Question 2: AI as a Therapist 31:16: Question 3: Sexual Transference in Therapy 39:56: Question 4: Is Remembering That We’re ‘Ultimately Alone’ Helpful? 56:55: Question 5: What’s the Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage? 1:07:13: Wrap-Up and Final Thoughts Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore disorganized, or “fearful,” attachment. This complex style occurs when emotional intimacy and distance both feel uncomfortable, and typically arises based on difficult life experiences. They unpack why this attachment pattern forms, what it feels like on the inside, and how it can change over time. Dr. Rick explains how to break the Catch-22 of disorganized attachment, and how fully embracing and expressing your needs can be the key to finding stability. Topics include hypersensitivity, repression, experiencing out, self-regulation, and why "boring" relationships can be transformative. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:20: How attachment theory developed, and how it has evolved 11:20: How attachment styles shift based on life experience 15:25: Social environment and internal reliability 23:55: The catch 22 of healing disorganized attachment 29:35: Leveraging coping mechanisms for healing 32:20: Hypersensitivity and embracing your need for attunement 39:50: Repression, and experiencing out 45:45: Recognizing what’s true, and how reality is reliable 48:25: Caring for the body, and innate self-love 53:45: Unique therapeutic approaches to disorganized attachment styles 55:25: Embracing what you really want, and creating a coherent narrative 58:40: Bottom-up self-regulation, self-trust, and internalizing positive feedback 1:04:20: When stable relationships are “boring” 1:06:55: Self-respect and freedom in communication Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Scott Eilers to explore how he both treats and lives with chronic depression. They discuss anhedonia, the catch-22 of treatment resistance, how to build new practices when it’s the last thing you want to do, acceptance, and how a values-based approach can help someone move forward even when they’re feeling stuck. The conversation touches on some of the existential aspects of depression, the therapeutic relationship, and finding some humor along the way. About Our Guest: Dr. Scott Eilers is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, and mental health coach specializing in severe, treatment-resistant mood and anxiety disorders. He is the author of For When Everything Is Burning and hosts the podcast The Psychology of Depression and Anxiety. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:25: Scott’s personal experience of depression 5:45: Distinguishing sadness from depression, and depression vs. a depressing life 9:25: Choosing action, and emotional budgeting 19:10: Symptoms as obstacles, and when to establish new practices 24:45: Navigating emotional numbness, and creating rewarding experiences 31:30: Loneliness, and the struggle to be witnessed 37:45: Accepting how things are, and aiming for better instead of perfect 48:35: AI therapy 54:30: Finding out who you are and what you care about 59:15: Humor, sarcasm, and snarkiness 1:02:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acornsearly.com/beingwell or download the Acorns Early app to help your kids grow their money skills today.  Get Notion Mail for free right now at notion.com/beingwell, and try the inbox that thinks like you For a limited time, get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by poet and author Diego Perez - better known as Yung Pueblo - for a live conversation recorded at City Arts & Lectures in San Francisco. They reunite the sensitive boys club to talk about how inner work transforms our relationships, what it means to love with an open hand, and the difference between attachment and commitment. Diego shares how his meditation practice reshaped his life and partnership, how he and his wife built a new culture of honesty together, and why real love always shows you what you need to work on. About our Guest: Yung Pueblo is a poet, meditator, and the bestselling author of five books, including How to Love Better: The Path to Deeper Connection Through Growth, Kindness, and Compassion. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 4:55: Diego’s personal background, and how he came to meditation 9:25: How meditation affects your relationships 13:40: Attachment vs. commitment, and developing comfort with receiving love 20:50: The student mentality, spiritual arrogance, and ‘don’t know mind’ 26:45: Preventative communication 30:40: Being in a relationship when both partners are constantly evolving 35:55: What happens on a silent retreat 40:45: How “advanced meditators” argue, and how to have a low stakes relationship check-in 47:45: Rebuilding after past hurt 54:50: Diego’s relationship with the internet, and why he goes by Yung Pueblo 59:35: RecapSupport the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can we really change our personalities? In this episode, Forrest is joined by someone who’s actually tried most of the things we talk about on the podcast: journalist and author Olga Khazan. Olga shares the personal experiments that led to her becoming more extroverted and agreeable, and less neurotic. They discuss the Big Five personality traits, how behavior shapes identity, the role of self-concept, authenticity, and some of the common challenges people face when trying to change a core aspect of who they are. About Our Guest: Olga Khazan is a writer at The Atlantic, where she covers health, culture, and the complexities of human behavior. She's the author of Weird: The Power of Being an Outsider in an Insider World and her new book Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: Olga’s personal background with personality change 5:20: Age, extroversion, self-concept, and Olga’s improv classes 10:10: Unconditional positive regard, meditation, and mindfulness 20:55: Trying on different traits, and acceptance vs. change 24:25: Conscientiousness, openness, agreeableness, and individualism 36:20: Changing at the ‘trait level’, and the changes Olga has embraced most 43:50: Psychedelics, non-self, and identifying what’s really true 53:50: Nature vs. nurture and the aspects we can’t change 56:30: Parenting and personality change 1:02:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins Forrest to explore emotional immaturity, the consequences of growing up with emotionally immature caregivers, and what we can do to change those patterns in adulthood. They discuss the key signs of emotional immaturity, including egocentrism, low empathy, and affective realism. Dr. Gibson then shares how having an emotionally immature parent affects children, often by leading to emotional disconnection and people-pleasing, and the consequences of these patterns in adult life. Topics include the problems with “just be more compassionate,” estrangement, balancing competing desires, and how to heal in adulthood by reconnecting with your feelings, letting go of old fantasies, and setting healthy boundaries. About our Guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of the Emotional Immaturity series of books, including her bestseller Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: How Dr. Gibson defines emotional immaturity 6:45: Markers of emotional immaturity in parents 11:05: Emotional intelligence in children, loneliness, and regulating parents 19:05: The arc of recovery, responding to feelings with thoughts, and healthy guidance 31:00: Repeating patterns in relationships 36:15: Letting go of the healing fantasy, and when to take space 42:45: Estrangement, compassion, boundary setting, and becoming more authentic 58:45: When healthy change creates social pressure 1:01:55: Common misconceptions about emotional immaturity 1:06:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how self-concept, the invisible architecture of who we are, shapes our lives. They discuss how identity can become a cage, the unconscious beliefs we have about who we are, and how loosening those beliefs might be the key to lasting change. Forrest and Rick talk about the science of psychological flexibility, how to challenge limiting self-beliefs, and why a little more “don’t-know mind” can go a long way. They share insights from Carl Rogers, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Buddhist philosophy, and focus on practical ways to update your self-concept without losing who you are. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: What is self-concept? 8:25: Stories, frameworks, and expectations 13:30: ‘I’ vs. ‘me’, and feeling misunderstood 16:55: Carl Rogers’ framework of self-concept and congruence 24:20: Common tropes for defending identity 30:45: Applying principles of biological evolution to your sense of self 34:50: Resistance to change, and misguided beliefs 40:35: Don’t-know mind, affirmation, and taking in the good 47:30: The Buddhist conception of the self 53:40: Living in direct experience, and basic trust 56:50: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore one of his most powerful psychological tools: linking. Over time, linking can help us rewire the brain, softening the impact of painful memories. They discuss the neuroscience behind this process, the role of memory reconsolidation, and the importance of matching positive experiences to our original pains. Rick shares personal examples, practical tips, and a few important cautions so you can apply this technique safely. This is a grounded, hands-on episode focused on one of his most high-impact ideas. Warning: There is a brief mention of SA toward the end of the episode.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:45: What is linking? 5:30: The relationship between linking and memory, and coherence therapy 12:20: The challenges with linking, and making the positive stronger than the negative 20:40: How to practice linking 31:00: How to disentangle our adult selves from our ‘parts’ 39:30: The “erasure protocol” 53:15: How long it takes for linking to help, and key questions to ask yourself 1:02:05: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Get Headspace FREE for 60 days. Go to Headspace.com/BEINGWELL60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days. Head to fastgrowingtrees.com/BEINGWELL to get 15% off the best deals for your yard. Use BEINGWELL at checkout, and take advantage of their Alive and Thrive Guarantee! Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest answer questions focused on navigating common relationship conflicts, focusing on situations where people need to find a middle path between different needs. The discussion covers balancing sensitivity with directness, bridging differences in emotional processing speeds, setting healthy boundaries without anger, and understanding how childhood patterns influence adult relationships. Throughout, they explore how couples can move from seeing issues as "me problems" to "we problems," emphasizing the importance of being on the same team and strengthening connection. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:50: How do I know if I’m being too sensitive or my partner’s being too harsh? 13:30: I need space to process; my partner wants to resolve things immediately. How do we bridge the gap? 20:55: How do I determine whether or not a relationship problem is a dealbreaker? 33:00: How can I discern between rumination and useful anxiety? 41:40: How can I honor my need for self-protection while maintaining my naturally open heart? 49:15: If parents have certain problematic traits, are their children more likely to develop those traits as well? 56:00: Recap Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In one of my favorite conversations, bestselling author David Epstein joins the podcast to explore how to find your path in life, the problem with 10,000 hours, and why generalists triumph in a specialized world. David and I discuss why sampling different paths before specializing tends to lead to more fulfillment. David explains why feeling "behind" is actually normal for successful people who take non-linear paths, and how "fit looks like grit" when you find something that genuinely connects with your strengths and interests. We then detail how to identify good fits, a practical process for getting good at almost anything, and what helps create a breakthrough moment. About our Guest: David Epstein is a bestselling author, science writer, and investigative reporter known for challenging conventional wisdom about peak performance. His books include Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World and The Sports Gene. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction and summary of David’s work 1:25: The benefits of generalism and an unusual background 4:15: Feeling behind, and David vs. Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 hours 11:40: Curiosity, transferable skills, and comfort with failure 21:40: Problems with specialization, and the value of consistent learning 27:10: Beginner’s mind and the eight lane highway 31:35: Finding what you want to do, and the value of constraint 41:35: Doing what’s in front of you, and Frances Hesselbein 45:55: How to actually get good at something 54:20: More on getting comfortable with failure 1:00:10: Autonomy, flow, and just picking something 1:04:00: What creates the “breakthrough moment”? 1:11:30: Recap Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Self-awareness is a good thing…right? In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick Hanson explore how we can stop overthinking and break the self-awareness trap: when knowing ourselves becomes an obstacle to change. They discuss the difference between reflection and rumination, the pitfalls of being "an expert on yourself," and why overthinking is often an avoidance mechanism disguised as problem-solving. Dr. Rick shares practical strategies for managing attention, setting boundaries around decisions, and cultivating an experimental mindset. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:40: When self-awareness gets in the way 8:15: Rumination vs. reflection 13:25: Developing passion for the ‘useful truth’, and working with obsession 16:45: Beginner’s mind and self-concept 25:15: The 90/10 approach to overthinking 31:15: Seeing what’s liberating, naming what’s important, seeing your full self 35:05: Managing your attention, and self-trust 42:00: Thinking vs. taking useful action 50:35: Letting yourself experiment 54:00: Self-acceptance, and having a spirit of openness 58:10: Avoiding the unknown   1:00:35: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s never been more information out there about psychology, self-improvement, and mental health, making it easy to get lost in the details and lose sight of what matters. In this special episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick apply the 90/10 rule to psychology and self-help: what are the small handful of things that tend to make the biggest difference for people? You’ll learn why most self-help advice should probably be ignored, how to simplify your approach to happiness and personal growth, and what actually moves the needle when it comes to feeling better, getting unstuck, and building a fulfilling life. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Rumination Course: Rick’s 5-week online course Breaking Out of Rumination starts on March 29th. Rumination is a big pain point for many people, and this course will help you learn how to break repetitive patterns of thought. Learn more at RickHanson.com/ruminating, and use coupon code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Putting the big rocks in first 8:40: Root factors of well-being 15:15: Satisfaction, and what helps us rest easy 26:05: Avoidance, and responding to our own objections 32:35: Finding what matters to you, spirituality, and creative expression 36:25: Small, consistent action 39:50: Relationships and the power of repair 43:00: Stress, self-regulation, and creating space around your thoughts 48:55: Identifying your broken link, and the role of integrity 53:30: Allostatic load, and acknowledging when you’ve done your best 1:00:00: Being on your own side, pursuit mindset, and benefiting others 1:03:40: Self-concept, and joining the defense 1:06:00: Bottom up regulation, and taking one thing at a time 1:10:35: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order. Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Go to ZOE.com and find out what ZOE Membership could do for you. Use code WELL10 to get 10% off membership. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can improve focus and fix our attention spans in a world that is constantly trying to distract us. They discuss common reasons it’s hard to focus and three key interventions that can help most people. Rick teaches approaches from mindfulness practice, and Forrest explains how we can improve focus motivation and distress tolerance. Topics include ADHD, the role of dopamine, expanding the “Goldilocks Zone,” the practice of doing hard things, and how we can become less reliant on willpower. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 5:25: Three key areas where we seek focus 9:10: Self-belief and inner turmoil 14:10: Three factors for sustaining focus 20:50: The goldilocks zone, physical health, and emotional preoccupation 24:40: Difficulties with meditation and mindfulness 32:40: Willpower vs. motivation 40:20: Quieting the mind 41:25: Decreasing the reward value of our distractions 48:35: Being present with others 54:05: ‘Going wide’, self-compassion, and other tactics for completing tasks 1:02:10: Choice and rumination 1:06:15: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order. Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, one of the world’s leading experts on narcissism and narcissistic abuse, joins Forrest to help us learn how to understand, identify, and recover from relationships with narcissistic people. They start by discussing the traits associated with narcissism, the spectrum of narcissistic behaviors, and Dr. Ramani’s critiques of the NPD diagnosis. They then talk about different kinds of narcissism and why narcissists can be difficult to identify before moving on to the issues with narcissism in relationships. Dr. Ramani explains the general pattern narcissism follows, what narcissistic abuse looks like in practice, and what we can do to become more "narcissist resistant.” About our Guest: Dr. Ramani is a clinical psychologist, professor emeritus at California State University, Los Angeles, and the author of a number of books including her most recent It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. Her work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, and The New York Times. She also offers an online program for survivors of narcissistic abuse.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:30: Defining the variety of narcissistic personality styles 9:40: Narcissism as a tactic for external validation 13:00: Narcissistic supplies, personality style, and diagnosable conditions 24:45: The appeal of narcissistic traits, and their effect on specific relationships 33:25: Getting stuck in a relationship with a narcissist, and devaluation 42:45: Manipulation, gaslighting, and discerning what’s real 52:35: Becoming narcissist resistant 1:00:45: Nervous system responses 1:03:25: Covert narcissism and seeing your own traits 1:06:45: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order. Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest open up the mailbag and answer questions from listeners, many of which focused on anxiety experiences. They start by discussing “dreaded experiences,” and how we can respond when our worst fears come true. Rick then shares how we can respond effectively to feedback, before answering a short question about taking in the good. Forrest and Rick then answer three questions related to different kinds of anxiety: social anxiety, managing different levels of concern in a relationship, and anxiety brought on by slowing down.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: How do you handle situations where you really fear something, and then it actually happens? 10:45: How can I become more receptive to feedback, and respond with less defensiveness? 19:00: How long do I need to “take in the good” for? 22:55: How can I work with my anxious parts when navigating social anxiety? 29:20: How can I support a partner who experiences a lot of anxiety? 40:40: Why am I struggling so hard with mindfulness meditation? 48:00: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Field of Greens from Brickhouse Nutrition is a superfood powder packed with vitamins, minerals, fiber, and antioxidants. Use the code BEINGWELL at fieldofgreens.com for 20% off your first order. Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can become more self-reliant, and learn to trust ourselves. This helps us be resilient in the face of life’s challenges, and it’s a key resource for people who tend to abandon their wants and needs. They start by discussing why some people struggle with self-trust, the difference between inside-out and outside-in safety, and changing the model we have of ourselves. Forrest introduces a framework for developing self-trust based on self-efficacy, flexibility, self-advocacy, and accurate appraisal, and Rick applies this to how we can build self-worth and feel strong and capable.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: Why some people have an easier time trusting themselves than others 4:30: An outside-in vs, inside-out sense of safety, and feeling reliable 9:50: Welcoming positive feedback, and psychological flexibility 14:10: Sticking up for yourself 19:55: Stabilizing yourself when feeling helpless 25:00: Evaluating internal stories, and living moment to moment 30:15: Feeling like someone who matters, and feeling seen by others 35:00: Three aspects of self-regulation, and self-appraisal 41:35: Object relations, and focusing attention on your inner world 48:55: Seeing yourself as the creator of your world, and authenticity 55:15: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special episode, Forrest focuses on the key lessons from 400 episodes of Being Well, giving you a crash course in personal growth and development. If you’re just getting into the show, or are looking for a good episode to share with people who are new to this kind of content, this is a great place to start.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:10: Change is possible, but change is hard 3:00: Focus on what you can control 4:30: The consistency principle 6:05: Punishing ourselves is a losing strategy 7:45: What are you pursuing? 9:30: The negativity bias 11:40: Why you don't have self-worth 13:40: Change the beliefs you have about yourself 17:05: Forming a coherent narrative 19:50: Set reasonable expectations 22:45: The middle path 24:30: Homeostasis and social pressure 26:30: How to get good at anything 27:45: Willpower, and avoiding willpower 28:25: Don’t know mind 31:25: The trap of self-awareness 32:35: Risking disappointment 34:10: The function of our bad habits 36:00: Look for those who support you 37:15: Changing our models of relationship 40:00: Authenticity 41:50: Embrace good conflict 44:40: Contempt 46:20: Start by joining 48:40: Experiencing out 49:55: Joining with the defense 51:15: Moving toward to move away 52:40: Learning to trust yourself I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on one of life's most challenging but essential skills - letting go. Whether you're trying to break free from repetitive thoughts, move on from a relationship, or change an old pattern of behavior, this episode will help you learn how to release what no longer serves you.  They start by exploring why letting go is so difficult, the nature of the brain and how it gets in our way, and how to start opening up to a new way of being. They then discuss different practical approaches to letting go, how to work with the feeling of “giving up,” and staying on your own side when facing resistance.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:05: Rumination and the comfort of familiarity 7:00: Allowing for shifts in identity 14:25: An example of working with a pattern 29:40: Being on your own side when you feel resistance from others 34:45: Letting go vs. giving up, and orienting toward our own fulfillment 43:35: The destabilization phase, and learning about yourself 51:05: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Attachment wounds are emotional injuries that develop based on painful experiences with those we care about. These experiences create a kind of blueprint we carry around for how relationships work, and when that internal model is based on fear and pain, it's hard for our relationships to thrive. Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to help us understand how we can heal old wounds and develop more secure forms of relating. Elizabeth and Forrest explore how early experiences shape our relationships, with a particular focus on a common paradox: deeply wanting connection while simultaneously fearing intimacy. They discuss fearful attachment, how Elizabeth approaches working with attachment wounds in clinical practice, complex PTSD, self-abandonment, facing our dreaded experience, setting healthy boundaries, and navigating relationships where fearful attachment patterns are present. About our Guest: Elizabeth Ferreira is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:05: Elizabeth’s personal experience of fearful attachment 7:40: Working with a therapist to heal attachment 11:55: Elizabeth’s experience learning to create boundaries 21:35: Internal Family Systems, and how to dialog with our parts 27:15: Working with our protective part, and self-criticism 31:00: Dialoguing with our inner child without a therapist 38:15: Healthy anger, grief, and patience 42:25: What helped Elizabeth be vulnerable in relating to Forrest 53:10: Disorganized moments, identifying needs, and taking in the good 1:00:20: Intent, impact, and reasonable limits 1:05:20: Becoming your own secure attachment figure, and healing in community 1:09:10: Recap I am now writing on Subståack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest begin the mailbag by exploring limerence – an obsessive form of romantic attraction – and offer practical recommendations for working with one-sided infatuation. They then discuss what to do when romantic vulnerability feels unsafe, and how we can rebuild trust in others after traumatic experiences. The episode also tackles managing career transitions, dealing with social anxiety around positive interactions, and maintaining boundaries without being consumed by anger.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 0:50: What can I do when I experience limerence, or compulsive romantic attraction? 18:00: How can I learn to trust my partner and embrace the experience of happiness in my relationship? 26:50: How can I best think about the inherent uncertainty in the 2-3 years of preparation for a new career path? 37:55: How can I learn to “take in the good” when good experiences feel uncomfortable for me? 44:55: How can I maintain important boundaries in a way that doesn’t lead to me feeling too much anger? 56:40: Recap I am now writing on Subståack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest and Dr. Rick explore "situationships" – those poorly defined, boundary-free relationships that exist in a gray area between friendship and committed dating. They unpack why these arrangements have become so common, examine the emotional trade-offs that keep people stuck, and share how to reclaim a sense of agency and build more authentic connections. The episode includes a role-play where Forrest plays someone struggling with situationships, while Dr. Rick draws on his decades of experience as a couples counselor to offer guidance. Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:35: What is a situationship? 7:25: The benefits of a situationship, and relationship asymmetry 13:05: A roleplay of sharing your feelings 20:55: Uncertainty, wanting to be liked, and the fear of asking for what you want 31:10: Gears of rapport, and knowing your worth 38:05: Honoring yourself when a change is needed  48:05: How much to care, and the natural arc of change 52:35: Early indicators that someone is ready for a relationship 58:55: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do New Year's resolutions usually fail by February? Forrest and Dr. Rick explore why traditional goal-setting falls short and offer a new approach to creating lasting change. They discuss how we can uncover our authentic wants and needs, move away from a punishment mindset, and use our new knowledge to find fulfillment. This episode will teach you how to get more out of any other New Year’s content you listen to.  Rick and Forrest walk through a practical example of brain dumping “shoulds,” shifting the focus from means to ends, and working with internal resistance. They end the episode with a role-play focused on working with someone who wants to find a more meaningful relationship. Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:35: Fulfillment as a target, and other healthy ways of orienting to our goals 14:00: Cataloguing our “shoulds”, and being driven by a sense of enthusiasm 23:20: How Forrest has personally connected with his authentic wants 30:15: The “punishment part” 35:50: Practical techniques for identifying our values 41:45: A roleplay focused on how to find a meaningful relationship 51:25: Reviewing the roleplay 55:05: Knowing your why 59:50: Developing your personal psychology, and surrendering to the best within you 1:03:40: Recap I am writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Head to acorns.com/beingwell or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do some people navigate the social world with such ease while others feel like they're swimming upstream? In this special episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by four leading experts for a masterclass on the science of attachment. Featuring conversations with Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Rick Hanson, Julie Mennano, and Elizabeth Ferreira, this carefully curated episode gives you a map to becoming more socially confident, emotionally intelligent, and authentically connected.  Topics include: The four fundamental patterns that influence how we show up in every social interaction. Dr. Sue Johnson's guide to having deeper, more meaningful "hold me tight" conversations. Dr. Rick Hanson’s approach to working with self-abandonment. Julie Mennano on working with the anxious-avoidant dance that brings so many couples to therapy. Elizabeth Ferreira’s somatic and trauma-informed perspective on healing attachment wounds. Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:35: Rick Hanson: How to become securely attached 31:20: Working with common attachment wounds 47:35: Sue Johnson: How to have a bonding conversation 1:09:35: Julie Mennano: The attachment mistakes that bring people to therapy, and how secure couples relate differently 1:22:25: Rick Hanson: Self-abandonment, anxious attachment, and how to build up a greater sense of self-worth and self-trust 1:40:30: Elizabeth Ferreira: Creating a secure relationship 1:56:50: Recap and outro About our Guests: Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, and the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a widely used and respected approach to couples therapy. She is considered one of the foremost experts in the field of attachment, and has received numerous awards for her contributions to the field of psychotherapy. Dr. Johnson is also the author of seven books, including the best-selling Hold Me Tight. Elizabeth Ferreira is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.  Julie Menanno a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Relationship Coach. She is the founder of The Secure Relationship coaching method, and maintains an instagram of the same name with over 1M followers. She is also the author of Secure Love. I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Somatic therapist Elizabeth Ferreira joins the show to discuss complex trauma, dissociation, and working with challenging emotions. Forrest and Elizabeth start by exploring the relationship between Internal Family Systems and somatic therapy, including how we can apply a somatic lens to working with our parts. They then apply that framework to complex PTSD, cognitive bypassing, emotional numbing, hypervigilance, and other difficult experiences. Other topics include issues around comparing trauma, windows of tolerance, appreciating individual needs, and Elizabeth’s own journey of becoming a therapist while managing C-PTSD and ADHD. About our Guest: Elizabeth is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:15: What is the crossover between IFS and somatic therapy? 12:25: What helps a psychologically literate person who struggles to have a felt experience? 19:05: How can I track my capacity and needs in social situations before dissociating? 35:05: Why do I feel numb, and how can I move past it and feel my feelings again? 41:05: How can I address hypervigilance and stay present with my feelings without catastrophizing? 48:40: How do I respond to friends (or clients) who minimize their own pain or trauma? 58:55: What has supported Elizabeth in pursuing her vocation amidst challenges with trauma and neurodivergence? 1:10:40: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all have different needs for closeness and distance, for intimacy and independence. You might have heard terms like anxious or avoidant attachment to describe this, and these tendencies can create challenges - particularly when people with different needs try to relate to each other. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why we're drawn to people who activate our insecurities, how anxiety manifests differently in "pursuers" versus "distancers," and what we can all do to work with our natural tendencies more skillfully. They discuss common relationship patterns, why pursuers usually receive more blame than distancers, schizoid personalities, and practical ways to break free from entrenched patterns. Rick’s Yearly Program: Rick’s Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It’s currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you’ll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:00: Key characteristics of pursuers and distancers 9:25: Demands and reassurance 13:35: Assigning blame, and gender stereotypes 20:40: Why opposites attract, the power of small wins, and changing ourselves 31:15: The distancer 40:45: Finding motivation to identify common ground with our partner 54:30: The pursuer 1:00:00: Self-consciousness and ego 1:02:10: Brave questions to ask in your relationship 1:07:00: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why does change feel so difficult, even when we desperately want it? Dr. Ross Ellenhorn joins the show to explore our resistance to change, and the many good reasons we might have to stay just as we are. Forrest and Dr. Ellenhorn discuss the “fear of hope,” the allure of sameness, and what actually helps people develop the confidence to make meaningful changes in their lives. Topics include challenging conventional self-help wisdom, existential dread, dealing with disappointment, major issues in social work, psychedelics, and self-compassion. About our Guest: Ross Ellenhorn is a psychotherapist and sociologist, the owner and CEO of Ellenhorn, a community-integration program offering services for individuals experiencing addictive behaviors or extreme and complex states of mind and mood, and the author of three books including How We Change (and Ten Reasons Why We Don’t). You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: How Dr. Ross’s background in social work influences his outlook on change 6:20: What makes people want to stay the same 18:00: Self-efficacy, faith, and making hope big 24:55: Seeing your problems as solutions 30:00: Grappling with existential anxiety 34:20: The shock of recognition, and connecting with motivations through dialog 40:25: Managing disappointment 43:20: Psychosocial rehab, and the changing definition of mental health 52:55: Psychedelics and direct action 1:04:30: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Life has a way of throwing unexpected curveballs: a sudden job loss, a relationship ending, a health crisis, or losing faith in something. These moments can leave us feeling overwhelmed, lost, and unsure of how to move forward. In this episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore a practical framework for navigating life's most challenging transitions. They break down the essential steps for finding your footing when things fall apart: managing the initial emotional impact, steadying yourself, gathering information, working with loss, and taking meaningful action. You'll learn how to process difficult emotions without getting stuck, ways to evaluate your situation objectively while avoiding common cognitive biases, strategies for decision making under stress, and approaches to building resilience and finding meaning in challenging experiences. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 4:55: Four steps to find your footing when things fall apart 7:05: Stabilizing your body, and reestablishing routines 14:45: Slowing down, and confirmation bias 17:30: Emotional first aid, limiting stressors, and rumination 29:45: Identifying what is reliable in your life 32:45: Facing reality, and gathering information 40:00: Processing loss and disappointment 48:00: Making a plan and taking action 52:30: Post-traumatic growth 58:10: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We all have to make big choices in life, but it’s easy to feel overwhelmed when facing major decisions about careers, relationships, or personal growth. In this episode, Forrest and Rick Hanson explore how to develop a reliable system for making choices that align with your values and goals. They break down balancing analysis with intuition, the five key decision-making styles, and common obstacles that lead to poor choices. The episode also includes two live demonstrations of working through a big decision, which includes learning how to identify what you want and pursue it from a values-oriented perspective. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:50: Analysis vs. intuition, and activities vs. results 10:45: Effort, values, and the environments you put yourself in 17:05: The five decision-making styles 28:50: Motives and attachment 33:30: Rigidity, excessive certainty, and other common pitfalls 42:10: Demo #1 - Reverse-engineering a career decision (or Rick with a legal pad) 1:04:55: Demo #2 - Deciding whether to invest deeply in a romantic relationship 1:18:00: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re tired, burnt out, and searching for a reprieve from hustle culture. Something needs to change if we’re going to get to real productivity: doing that is meaningful and fulfilling rather than just checking boxes off an endless to-do list. On today’s episode, Cal Newport joins the podcast to explore slow productivity, deep work, and how we can achieve more by doing less. About our Guest: Cal is a computer science professor at Georgetown University and the bestselling author of eight books including Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World and most recently, Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout. He also has a YouTube channel and hosts the podcast Deep Questions with Cal Newport.  You can watch this episode on YouTube. I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:45: Slow productivity vs. pseudoproductivity 10:35: Anxiety, procrastination, and overwhelm 17:40: Meaningful work and anti-productivity 22:40: Technology, anti-capitalist philosophy, and knowledge work 28:55: The cognitive drain of multitasking 32:45: The distraction of phones social media 36:00: The ratio of deep work to lighter work 41:00: How timeblocking actually reduces stress 45:20: Office hours and shared documents 48:05: Common misconceptions about Cal’s work 55:45: Tailoring advice to your individual situation 1:00:40: Life transitions, and the deceptive advice to “follow your passion” 1:08:00: Obsessing over quality while avoiding perfectionism 1:17:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions focused on navigating relationship challenges. They explore how to rediscover yourself after a codependent relationship, distinguish between healthy and unhealthy desires, maintain friendships after romantic feelings emerge, overcome self-consciousness in social interactions, and communicate effectively during stress responses. Whether you're healing from a breakup, working through attachment issues, or seeking to build more authentic connections, this episode offers practical advice. You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 0:50: After a breakup, how can I reconnect with myself and identify what I really want? 7:50: How do I distinguish between healthy and unhealthy wanting? 18:40: How can I stay friends with someone I’ve had romantic feelings for? 32:20: How can I learn to let my thoughts and speech flow more naturally? 39:10: How can I communicate with care when I find myself in an attachment-related freeze response? 56:15: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices