SOLVED with Mark Manson

You've been told your whole life to explore, keep your options open, try new things. And you've done exactly that. Moved cities, pivoted careers, taken every personality quiz. But here's what nobody warns you about: all that freedom might be the thing keeping you stuck. This episode digs into a depressed 19th century Danish philosopher who diagnosed our entire modern crisis 180 years before we lived it. We tell the story of Casanova, history's most famous fuckboy, who had more adventures than anyone alive and died completely alone with nothing but 2,000 pages of memories nobody believed. We break down Dan Gilbert's research on why your brain is actually better at justifying your choices than you give it credit for. We walk through Kierkegaard's three stages of commitment, from the aesthetic life of endless options to the point where commitment stops feeling like a choice at all. And we talk about the grief that nobody tells you about when you finally pick one life and let all the others go. Get your free episode guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/commitment/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 The Paradox of Too Many Choices 00:05:42 Chapter 1: The Prophet of Too Much 00:08:16 Kierkegaard's Crisis: The Engagement He Couldn't Keep 00:22:26 Anxiety as the Dizziness of Freedom 00:43:30 The Media Environment That Makes Commitment Impossible 01:01:00 Cultural Forces Engineering Indecision 01:11:40 Chapter 2: The Aesthetic Life: Casanova and the Trap of Endless Novelty 01:19:24 Five Predictions Kierkegaard Got Right About Modern Life 01:37:55 Why We're Biologically Wired to Keep Our Options Open 02:18:30 Chapter 3: The Ethical Life: Learning to Choose With Your Eyes Open 02:41:20 The Cold Pool Metaphor: Why Commitment Feels Like Liberation 02:49:28 Self-Concordance: Aligning Decisions With Who You Actually Are 03:14:01 The Grief of Cutting Off Alternative Selves 03:19:17 Chapter 4: The Religious Stage: When Commitment Becomes Absurd 03:30:00 Finding Your Calling: It Chooses You, Not the Other Way Around 03:50:26 Going Pro Before You're a Professional 03:57:10 The Leap of Faith: What It Means to Commit Religiously Check out our sponsors OneSkin: Head to https://manson.deals/oneskin to unlock your healthiest skin now and as you age. Get 15% off OneSkin with the code MARK. Notion: Learn more about how Notion can support your business at https:///manson.deals/notion Surfshark: Go to https://surfshark.com/solvedpod or use code SOLVEDPOD at checkout to get 4 extra months of Surfshark! Shopify: The only thing standing between you and your own income is getting started. Free trial at https://manson.deals/shopify AG1: For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro at https://manson.deals/ag1 BrainFM: Go to https://manson.deals/brainfm to get 30 days of unlimited access, completely free. Momentous: Head to https://manson.deals/momentous to try Momentous Signature Spec Creatine, and use code SOLVED for up to 35% off your entire first order. Purpose: Go to https://solved.deals/purpose to start getting unstuck today. Waking Up: Get started at https://manson.deals/wakingup for a 14 day trial, no risk. ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠.

Ask most successful people how they got where they are, and the answer is usually some version of "good timing." Everyone else swears they earned it. We're terrible at seeing our own luck clearly, and even worse at realizing how much of it we could create. In this episode, Drew and I get into why: the psychology that makes us deny luck even exists, and what changes the moment you stop pretending everything is earned.  We start with Warren Buffett - why a man worth tens of billions says the single most important thing that ever happened to him was where and when he was born. Then there's Napoleon, who picked his generals by skipping the résumé and asking one question: "Is he lucky?" And we brought in Annie Duke, a former World Series of Poker champion who’s spent more than a decade studying decision-making, to explain why we keep confusing good decisions with lucky outcomes. There's also a stretch on survivorship bias that'll make you rethink every success story you've ever heard. Luck comes in three layers. And the research shows you have far more say over two of them than anyone ever told you. If you want to take the hand you were dealt and play it better, this episode is for you. Get your free episode guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/luck/ CHAPTERS: Chapters 00:00:00 Will Smith's Dad and the Luck Paradox: When Success Meets Fortune 00:01:58 Chapter 1: What Is Luck? 00:02:23 Why We Avoid Thinking About Luck: The Uncomfortable Truth 00:16:13 The West's Struggle With Luck: From Greek Goddesses to Probability 00:21:05 The Three Types of Luck: Introducing the Sansai Framework 00:36:18 Chapter 2: Heaven Luck: The Birth Lottery You Can't Control 00:40:56 The Norway vs Sierra Leone Thought Experiment: Luck Is Always Relative 00:46:20 The Farmer and the Horse: Good Luck, Bad Luck, Who Knows? 00:54:01 Gratitude as Expanding Your Frame of Reference 01:00:48 The Two Ways to Screw Up Heaven Luck 01:07:23 Chapter 3: Napoleon: The Bullied Boy Who Mastered Earth Luck 01:09:32 Spotting High-Leverage Opportunities: Artillery and Knowledge 01:13:55 Acting Ferociously on Openings: Crossing the Alps 01:23:30 Richard Wiseman's Four Principles of Luck 01:25:26 Maximizing Opportunities and Surface Area 01:47:35 The Environment Matters More Than Personality 01:59:47 Power Laws and Game Selection: Why the Table You Choose Matters Most 02:05:19 Power Law Moments in History: Catching the Wave 02:12:50 Chapter 4: Human Luck with Professional Poker Player Annie Duke 02:13:42 Why Every Decision Is Actually a Bet 02:20:15 The Marriage Bet: Choosing Under Uncertainty 02:22:08 No Decision Is Ever 100 Percent or 0 Percent 02:32:31 Resulting: Why Good Decisions Can Have Bad Outcomes 02:41:38 The Self-Serving Bias: Protecting Present You vs Future You 02:44:25 Loss Aversion: Why We're Afraid to Quit Bad Jobs 02:53:34 Making Decisions Explicit: Pre-Mortems and Forecasting 03:09:56 The Volume Approach: Why More Reps Equal Less Volatility 03:16:45 Annie's Bad Decision That Worked Out: The King-Queen Bluff 03:42:43 The Luck Paradox: Full Control Forward, Honest Reflection Backward 03:43:39 Four Practical Ways to Get Luckier Starting Today 03:47:36 Closing: When Opportunity Meets Preparation CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS ⏹ Simple: Join the 21 million people who’ve started already. Go take the quiz at simple.life/solved and use the code SOLVED at checkout for 85% off your plan. ⏹ Quo: Always say hello with QUO. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://www.quo.com/solved ⏹ Factor: Factor: Let’s eat real. Head to https://www.factormeals.com/solved202650off and use code SOLVED202650OFF to get 50% off and 1 free breakfast item per box for 1 year, while supplies last. See website for more details. ⏹ Shopify: The best businesses aren’t built in boardrooms. They’re built by people who just started. Free trial at shopify.com/solved ⏹ Purpose App: Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://solved.deals/purpose ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Confidence isn't something you build. It's what's left over. You've done the pose. Hands on hips, chest out, an affirmation on a sticky note stuck to the mirror. And then you walked into the room feeling exactly the same, or worse. Here's what nobody tells you: the entire concept of confidence you've been sold was invented by an anxious preacher in the 1940s who mistook his own coping mechanism for a universal law. The research is even uglier. Affirmations reliably make insecure people feel less secure. Visualizing success decreases motivation. The most famous confidence technique in history was built on a study of 42 people that the lead author eventually had to abandon. In this episode we trace where it all went wrong, from Norman Vincent Peale to power poses to the self-esteem movement that quietly failed a whole generation. Then we get into what actually works: a discovery made in a room full of snakes, a 2,000-year-old framework that turns out to be empirically correct, and why the sequence runs exactly backwards from everything you've been taught.  Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/confidence.  CHAPTERS: Chapters 00:00:00 CHAPTER 1: Why Confidence Advice Is Backwards 00:07:46 Norman Vincent Peale and positive thinking 00:10:44 The Peale Fallacy 00:16:09 When confidence was a sin 00:27:41 Do affirmations work? 00:31:19 Does visualization work? 00:47:01 CHAPTER 2: How Confidence Is Actually Built 00:53:59 Why confidence generalizes to the rest of your life 01:03:04 Self-efficacy and its four sources 01:09:35 The "Do Something" Principle 01:18:56 Mark's coaching story: lower the stakes 01:32:28 The case for a little delusion 01:40:25 CHAPTER 3: Confidence vs. Competence 01:46:09 Calibration and the Dunning-Kruger effect 01:51:46 Imposter Syndrome and the high-performer trap 02:02:05 The Spotlight Effect 02:04:04 Narcissism: why it gets mistaken for confidence 02:11:20 How to actually tell confidence from narcissism 02:26:56 CHAPTER 4: What the Self-Esteem Movement Got Wrong 02:30:26 Where self-esteem came from (William James) 02:44:49 Why the self-esteem movement backfired 02:54:10 How you actually build generalized confidence 03:06:52 Meta self-efficacy 03:16:20 CHAPTER 5: Is Confidence Even the Point? 03:17:02 When confidence was an insult 03:29:04 Courage over confidence 03:36:20 Facing fear: the driving-lessons experiment 03:40:23 Why pursuing confidence is the wrong goal 03:45:13 The takeaway: competence first, confidence follows 03:50:41 The 80/20 of Confidence CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS ⏹ Get 100 blades for free with the purchase of a razor. That’s over a 2 year supply! Head to https://www.hensonshaving.com/solved and use code SOLVED at checkout ⏹ Always say hello with QUO. Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to https://www.quo.com/solved ⏹ Start eating better: Head to https://www.factormeals.com/solved202650off and use code SOLVED202650OFFto get 50% off and free daily greens per box ⏹ Stop waiting for permission to build something. Your next revenue stream starts free at https://www.shopify.com/solved ⏹ Get a new operating system for your mind. Go to https://www.wakingup.com/solved to start today and get 14 days free. ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

If you've ever tried to change something about yourself, failed, tried again, and concluded you must just be broken, here's some good news: you're probably not broken. You've just been aiming at the wrong target for years. Who you are is actually a layered system. Most people fail at change because they treat behaviors like permanent traits and traits like behaviors they can flip overnight, spending years aiming at the wrong layer. In this episode, Drew and I map out the full system. This is the longest and most personal episode we've ever done. Get the free PDF episode guide:  https://solvedpodcast.com/change/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: What Does It Mean to Change? 00:13:18 The Dictionary Study: How 17,953 Words Led to the Big Five 00:49:06 Chapter 2: Why the Myers-Briggs Is Basically a Horoscope for Smart People 01:02:17 The Barnum Effect: Why We Believe Tests That Tell Us Nothing 01:20:52 The Maturity Principle: How Personality Drifts With Age 01:36:08 Chapter 3: Layer Two: Your Adaptations Are Not Who You Are 02:25:55 Why Relationships Are Adaptation Machines 02:37:55 Chapter 4: Layer Three: Why We Don't Do What We Know We Should Do 02:44:06 The Checklist That Saved 1,500 Lives 02:56:57 The Do Something Principle: Start With the Smallest Step 03:04:32 Environmental Design: Make the Right Thing Easier Than the Wrong Thing 03:20:18 Social Pressure, Strong Whys, and the CrossFit Effect 03:44:35 Chapter 5: Quantum Change: The Night Josh Died 03:54:55 Values Collapse: What Actually Changes in a Quantum Change 04:17:55 Chapter 6: Bill Wilson: The Man Who Invented AA (And Still Struggled) 04:32:00 The Messy Middle Nobody Shows You 04:50:27 Should You Even Change at All? The Three Selves 04:57:13 Final Takeaways: Pain Is a Great Teacher CHECK OUT OUR SPONSORS ⏹ Shopify: Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at: ⁠https://www.shopify.com/solved⁠ ⏹ Factor: Head to⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.factormeals.com/solved202650off⁠ and use code solved202650off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box, with new subscription only ⏹ Wealthfront: Wealthfront’s high-yield cash account: ⁠http://cash.wealthfront.com/solved⁠ See full offer details below. ⏹ Quo: Try QUO for free PLUS get 20% off your first 6 months when you go to ⁠https://www.quo.com/solved⁠ ⏹ Brain.fm⁠: Get 30 days free of unlimited access at ⁠https://www.brain.fm/solved⁠ ⏹ Waking Up: Start your 14 day free trial at ⁠https://www.wakingup.com/solved ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Wealthfront Details and Disclosure: This experience may not be representative of other Wealthfront clients, and there is no guarantee of future performance or success. Experiences will vary. Mark Manson receives cash compensation from Wealthfront Brokerage for paid endorsement in his podcast, creating a conflict of interest. The Cash Account, which is not a deposit account, is offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC, member FINRA/SIPC. Wealthfront Brokerage is not a bank. The base APY is 3.30% on cash deposits as of January 30, 2026, is representative, subject to change, and requires no minimum. If eligible for the overall boosted rate of 4.05% offered in connection with this promo, your boosted rate is also subject to change if the base rate decreases during the 3 month promo period. Additional terms and conditions apply, which can be found on wealthfront.com/solved. Funds in the Cash Account are swept to program banks, where it earns the variable APY. Same-day withdrawal or instant payment transfers may be limited by destination institutions, daily transaction caps, and by participating entities such as Wells Fargo, the RTP® Network, and FedNow® Service. New Cash Account deposits are subject to a 2-4 day holding period before becoming available for transfer. Investment advisory services are provided by Wealthfront Advisers LLC, an SEC registered investment adviser. Securities investments: not bank deposits, bank-guaranteed or FDIC-insured, and may lose value.

Why do smart, emotionally aware people stay in relationships that are clearly destroying them? Drew and I dug into the Johnny Depp and Amber Heard marriage, to walk through the seven psychological mechanisms that quietly lock people inside bad relationships and make leaving feel impossible. If you have ever watched someone you love stay in a relationship that is destroying them, or if you have been that person yourself, this episode will shine a lot of light on what is really going on under the hood. Get your free episode guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/bad-relationships/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: When Smart People Stay Stuck in Bad Relationships 00:05:05 Meet Johnny Depp: From Kentucky to Captain Jack Sparrow 00:12:44 Meet Amber Heard: Growing Up in Texas and Breaking Into Hollywood 00:14:40 Mechanism #1: Normalization - The Water You Swim In 00:25:11 Mechanism #2: The Identity Trap - Filling the Void 00:40:07 Mechanism #3: The Slot Machine Effect - Addicted to Volatility 00:47:08 The Escalating Violence: From Breaking Things to Breaking Trust 00:49:58 Mechanism #4: Cognitive Dissonance - Rationalizing the Unacceptable 00:59:37 Mechanism #5: The Sunk Cost Fallacy - Throwing Good Years After Bad 01:10:00 Mechanism #6: The Guilt Cage - Blaming Yourself for Everything 01:13:52 Mechanism #7: The Terror of the Void - Learned Helplessness 01:21:38 The Legal Aftermath: When Nobody Wins 01:27:33 Practical Takeaways: How to Escape the Seven Traps 01:39:00 Final Reflections: Compassion for the Trapped ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/ Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson

Here's the uncomfortable truth about anxiety: most of what people reach for to fix it was chosen because it feels easy, not because it works. The supplement that went viral on TikTok, the CBD gummy, the glass of wine after a hard week... they range from doing nothing to actively making things worse. We ranked 17 of the most popular anti-anxiety interventions from the absolute worst to the number one most effective, according to the research. Along the way, we get into why alcohol is the anxiety cure that 2 billion people use that actually creates more anxiety in the long run. We talk about the UGC marketing conspiracy behind the magnesium craze. We break down the difference between harmonious and obsessive anxiety, why your brain is literally doing therapy on itself every night while you sleep (and what happens when you don't let it), and why exercise is essentially practice for being afraid. The pattern that emerges is painfully clear: everything that actually works is a lifestyle change, and everything that doesn't is a quick fix. The real question isn't which intervention is best. It's whether you're willing to be uncomfortable long enough for the right ones to work. Get your free episode guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/anxiety/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Welcome to Solved: Ranking 17 Anti-Anxiety Interventions 00:04:07 What Is Anxiety and Why Does It Exist? 00:07:26 The Causes of Anxiety: Genetics, Age, Trauma, and Existential Dread 00:17:34 The Bullshit Category: Why Alcohol Makes Anxiety Worse 00:26:37 Not Helping, Not Hurting: Magnesium, Journaling, and CBD 00:45:34 Digital Detoxes and Breathwork: Short-Term Relief, Not Long-Term Solutions 00:55:55 The Complicated Truth About Benzodiazepines 00:59:39 Probiotics, Yoga, and Adaptogens: The Maybe Depends Category 01:14:43 SSRIs: Effective But Probably Overprescribed 01:26:00 Psychedelics: Massive Effect Sizes But Still Early Days 01:40:01 The Top Five: Social Connection as Nervous System Regulation 01:41:58 Sleep Optimization: Your Brain Doing Therapy on Itself 01:48:20 Exercise: Training Your Body to Be Afraid and Act Anyway 01:54:09 Meditation: Changing Your Relationship to Anxious Thoughts 02:01:05 Therapy Wins: CBT's Durable Advantage and When to Stop 02:10:55 The Pattern That Emerges: Quick Fixes vs. Lifestyle Changes ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/ Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson WEALTHFRONT DISCLOSURE: This experience may not be representative of other Wealthfront clients, and there is no guarantee of future performance or success. Experiences will vary. Mark Manson receives cash compensation from Wealthfront Brokerage for paid endorsement in his podcast, creating a conflict of interest. The Cash Account, which is not a deposit account, is offered by Wealthfront Brokerage LLC, member FINRA/SIPC. Wealthfront Brokerage is not a bank. The base APY is 3.30% on cash deposits as of January 30, 2026, is representative, subject to change, and requires no minimum. If eligible for the overall boosted rate of 4.05% offered in connection with this promo, your boosted rate is also subject to change if the base rate decreases during the 3 month promo period. Additional terms and conditions apply, which can be found on wealthfront.com/solved. Funds in the Cash Account are swept to program banks, where it earns the variable APY. Same-day withdrawal or instant payment transfers may be limited by destination institutions, daily transaction caps, and by participating entities such as Wells Fargo, the RTP® Network, and FedNow® Service. New Cash Account deposits are subject to a 2-4 day holding period before becoming available for transfer. Investment advisory services are provided by Wealthfront Advisers LLC, an SEC registered investment adviser. Securities investments: not bank deposits, bank-guaranteed or FDIC-insured, and may lose value.

It's been one year of SOLVED. 20 episodes, 20 million downloads, 3 million YouTube subscribers, and a truly unreasonable number of poop jokes. To celebrate, I sat down with over 200 of your questions and picked the ones that hit the hardest. We get into why most people fail at quitting addictions (hint: the problem isn't the feelings, it's that you never planned for them). I explain why, if you have ADHD and can't stop procrastinating, you need to treat yourself like a dog that shits on the carpet. We talk about the real science behind manifestation, why it sort of works but not for the reason TikTok thinks it does. I break down the difference between trait confidence and state confidence, and why "build evidence" is only half the equation. We cover how to handle panic attacks, getting over a "perfect" ex (spoiler: they're not perfect, and thinking they are is the problem), the uncomfortable truth about self-love, the difference between a boring relationship and being bored in a relationship, the purpose vs. money question, what FIRE retirees never tell you, and what I'd reincarnate as. Plus some big announcements: we're going back to the mega episode format in June, the PDF guides are returning, and our first topic is going to be how to actually change your life. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 One-Year Anniversary and Show Announcements 00:04:37 Overcoming Addiction and Relapse 00:08:18 Procrastination and ADHD 00:11:30 The Science of Manifestation 00:16:11 Panic Attacks, Siblings, and Getting Over a "Perfect" Ex 00:20:18 Self-Love, Gratitude, and Religion 00:27:12 Relationships, Purpose, and Money 00:36:07 Maladaptive Daydreaming, Personality, and Growing with Friends 00:39:59 Nomadic Living, FIRE Retirement, Purpose Anxiety, and Reincarnation ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/ Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Nearly 60% of American workers are checked out at their jobs. Meanwhile, every graduation speech in history tells you to follow your passion and you'll never work a day in your life. So which is it? In this episode, Drew and I debate both sides. I argue for passion. He argues for practicality. And what we discover along the way is that the whole question is kind of a false dichotomy. We get into the psychology of harmonious vs. obsessive passion (and why one leads to fulfillment while the other led Kurt Cobain to write "I don't have the passion anymore" in his suicide note). We talk survivorship bias, Maslow's hierarchy, and why financial stress literally impairs your ability to think creatively. I share the story of quitting my investment bank job at 24, living on a friend's futon, and knowing within a month that I was never going back. We look at how Jane Goodall took a secretarial job and stumbled into becoming the world's preeminent primatologist. And we land on a phrase I think is way more useful than "follow your passion": develop your passion... because passion isn't something you find, it's something you grow. Get your free episode guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/passion/ Chapters: Chapters 00:00:00 The Great Debate: Passion vs. Pragmatism in Your Career 00:05:04 Round One: The Case for Passion and J.K. Rowling's Story 00:12:38 The Dark Side of Passion: Kurt Cobain and Obsessive Passion 00:23:53 Round Two: Financial Stability as the Foundation for Passion 00:38:47 The Regret Minimization Argument: Why Time Matters More Than Money 01:02:34 Round Three: Developing Passion Through Adjacent Opportunities 01:24:33 Cal Newport's Career Capital: Getting So Good They Can't Ignore You 01:32:34 Round Four: Passion Is Developed, Not Found 01:41:27 The Aptitude Reality Check: When Passion Meets Natural Ability 01:51:47 Finding the Balance: The Best of Both Worlds Approach ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/ Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson

We pulled over 2,600 studies and ranked 19 of the most common self-improvement techniques across three dimensions: research quality, consistency of results, and actual effect size. Then we sorted them into four tiers: legitimately works, works sometimes, probably not helping, and straight up bullshit. Microdosing landed in the bullshit tier. Crystal healing outperformed several "serious" techniques. And the number one most effective strategy is something so stupidly simple it's almost annoying. We also get into why everything at the bottom of the list shares one thing in common, why the middle of the list is mostly a fancy placebo, and why nearly everything at the top has been around for thousands of years. Get your free episode guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/self-help/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:06:02 Category 4: Bullsh*t 00:06:13 Suppressing Negative Thoughts 00:10:53 Microdosing Psychedelics 00:17:29 Intuitive Decision-Making 00:24:11 Catharsis / Venting Anger 00:27:29 Category 3: Probably Not Helping 00:27:45 Crystal Healing 00:30:11 Willpower / Ego Depletion 00:35:02 Power Posing 00:39:57 Learning Styles 00:41:18 Positive Affirmations 00:44:58 Morning Routines 00:51:37 Category 2: Works Sometimes 00:52:36 Positive Visualization 00:59:59 Energy Healing 01:09:35 Cold Water Immersion for Mental Health 01:16:53 Speed Reading 01:23:50 Category 1: Legitimately Works 01:23:54 Gratitude Interventions 01:29:45 Meditation for Stress/Anxiety 01:33:31 Eat the Frog / Hardest Task First 01:38:42 Bibliotherapy 01:47:30 Behavioral Activation 01:59:19 Conclusion ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: https://www.instagram.com/markmanson Solved IG: https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/ Twitter: https://x.com/markmanson LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Meditation has been sold to us as a magic pill for so long that the backlash is almost as overblown as the hype. I spent years deep in Buddhist practice, went on retreats, meditated daily — and then slowly discovered that half the gurus evangelizing it were alcoholics, abusers, or running Rolls-Royce-funded cults. Here's what the more careful research actually shows: there are three things meditation does reliably well, and they’re probably not what you've been promised. More importantly, almost everything you've been told about how to do it is wrong — starting with the idea that the goal is to quiet your mind. If your brain turns into a chaotic mess the moment you close your eyes, that's not a failure. That's the whole point. Get your free episode guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/meditation/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:08:15 Skeptic Claim #1: Meditation Is Overhyped 00:22:45 Skeptic Claim #2: "Meditation Isn't for Me" 00:41:36 Meditation Isn't Safe or Helpful for Everyone 00:48:33 Skeptic Claim #3: The New-Agey, "Woo-Woo" Crowd Turns Me Off 01:01:01 A Secular, Grounded Alternative: Meditation Without Metaphysics 01:07:40 Are We Losing Something by Secularizing Meditation? 01:17:35 Conclusion: What Meditation Really Is ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Focus is one of those things everyone swears they need more of and almost no one is actually addressing correctly. In this episode, we dig into what the science actually says about attention spans (hint: your brain isn't broken, it's just overwhelmed), why the standard advice to "try harder" is probably making things worse, and what's really driving your inability to sit down and get things done. We get into the neuroscience of explore vs. exploit modes, why flow states feel the way they do, and the four hidden triggers behind most focus problems, none of which have anything to do with your phone. Then we get into the practical stuff: environmental design, deep work frameworks, the maker vs. manager schedule, time boxing, batching, and why a dentist appointment in the middle of your morning can ruin your entire day. If you're the kind of person who opens 14 browser tabs, switches between them for 40 minutes, and calls that "working", well, this one's for you. Get the free guide for this episode: https://solvedpodcast.com/focus/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:06 The Attention Crisis (Is It Even Real?) 00:21:55 The Exploit–Explore Dilemma 00:29:57 Your Brain on Explore and Exploit Mode 00:43:48 Technology evolved with Focus 00:50:33 The Psychology of Distraction 00:54:06 Trigger 1: Lack of Importance 00:56:24 Trigger 2: Lack of Clarity 01:00:01 Trigger 3: Lack of Calmness 01:02:49 Trigger 4: Lack of Health 01:07:21 What about Willpower? 01:18:50 Flow States and Hyperfocus 01:25:13 Characteristics of flow state 01:37:36 Mental Health and the Clinical Realities of Focus 01:39:30 ADHD 01:41:56 Hyperfocus vs Flow 01:56:27 Environmental Design for Focus 02:01:15 Foundations 02:06:38 Setting Up Your Workspace 02:14:15 Working with others 02:22:49 Temperature, lighting. air quality 02:27:30 Nature exposure 02:29:22 Ritual as a “trigger system” 02:34:39 Productivity Systems 02:53:17 Maker Schedules vs. Manager Schedules 03:00:10 Using Apps for Focus 03:05:29 The 80/20 of Focus 03:07:51 Is Focus a Skill? 03:11:07 Takeaways ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

We put love on trial — literally. Drew and I squared off in a full debate over whether romantic love is overrated. I made the case that love is basically your brain's con man, a neurochemical hijacking designed to make you delusional about deeply flawed people, and that the most intoxicating relationships are often the most toxic. Drew fought back with the evidence that love is the foundation of social infrastructure, physical health, and long-term happiness. By the end, we came to a gentlemen’s agreement: a framework that explains why we're all chasing the wrong kind of love, and what the right kind actually looks like. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:21 Round 1: Love is the Brain's Conman 00:23:33 Round 2: Love as Social Infrastructure 00:43:48 Round 3: Love and Happiness 01:05:29 Round 4: Why We're Drawn to People Who Hurt Us ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Most people aren’t bad at dating, they’re just trying to solve the wrong problem. We treat dating like a personality test (“Am I attractive enough? Confident enough?”) when it’s actually a multi-stage process, and each stage punishes completely different mistakes. That one misunderstanding explains why dating feels so confusing, why men and women keep blaming each other, why dating apps feel brutal, and why so much dating advice makes things worse instead of better. In this episode of Solved, Drew and I break down why modern dating feels so broken, and why it actually isn’t. We dig into the evolutionary psychology behind attraction, why men and women are optimizing for different things, how modern culture and dating apps amplify the worst parts of the system, and the three stages of dating that almost nobody understands. We also talk about confidence, rejection, status, attraction, and why avoiding rejection is often the very thing sabotaging your dating life. If you’ve felt stuck, burned out, or quietly wondering “what the hell is wrong with dating?” — this episode is for you. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/dating CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:05:12 Why Is Dating So Complicated? 00:11:03 The different challenges men and women face 00:17:18 Facts 00:29:51 What Women Find Attractive 00:38:16 What Men Find Attractive 00:51:27 A Brief History of Courtship & Dating 01:06:10 Modern Dating 01:11:41 A Glimmer of Hope: The emerging offline renaissance 01:21:37 Men's and Women's Dating Advice Ecosystems 01:31:13 Inside the Male Advice Ecosystem 01:44:52 Inside the Female Advice Ecosystem 02:02:07 The Collision: Feedback Loops That Break the Market 02:21:27 The Pre-Dating Phase 02:36:22 Building Confidence 02:37:59 Halo Effect 02:53:20 Conclusion Pre Dating 02:57:48 Meeting People and Getting Dates 03:11:17 Flirting 03:23:15 Reading People 03:29:51 Going on Dates 03:38:39 Trustworthiness 03:47:09 Conversational Skills 03:56:12 Emotional Regulation 04:03:03 Boundaries 04:09:07 F**k yes or no 04:14:44 The 80/20 ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Most people think ego is either something you need to kill off entirely or inflate to take over the world. Both are wrong. In this episode, we dig deep into what ego actually is—how it evolved, why it matters, and how it secretly runs your life without you realizing it. We hit Freud, Buddhism, David Hume, Jung’s shadow self, and even the Navy SEALs to unpack why your ego isn’t always the enemy—it’s mostly just misunderstood. Then we get into how to quiet your ego without losing your identity, and yes, we talk psychedelics, too. This is everything you were never taught about ego—but should’ve been. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/ego CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:31 What Is the Ego? 00:10:15 The Architecture and Function of the Ego 00:27:15 What is a Healthy Ego? 00:36:14 The Philosophical Divide: Two Cultures, Two Selves 00:49:29 The Ego’s Evolutionary Architecture — How Evolution Built the Self 00:49:33 Why Evolution Invented “I” 00:51:46 The Architecture of the Ego: From Refl ex to Reflection 01:00:33 The First Fall: When Knowing Became Our Burden 01:09:07 Why Evolution Built the Ego 01:13:08 When the Ego Becomes a Tyrant 01:13:20 The Anatomy of Ego Tyranny 01:19:05 Recognizing and Disarming the Inner Dictator 01:47:29 The Quiet Ego — Beyond a Strong Ego 01:47:34 When Quieter Means Stronger 01:50:58 The Science and Structure of the Quiet Ego 01:57:16 Cultivating a Quiet Ego 02:01:08 Benefits of a Quiet Ego 02:04:27 The Chemical Dissolution: Ego Death and Psychedelics 02:23:16 80/20 ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

This is probably the most comprehensive, no-BS breakdown of boundaries you're going to find anywhere. We cover what boundaries actually are (spoiler: it’s not just telling people to f*ck off), why they matter more than you think, and how your entire life—your relationships, mental health, identity, even career—is quietly shaped by whether or not you have them. By the end of this, you’ll know exactly how to set boundaries, how to enforce them without being a jerk, and how to stop confusing your preferences, rules, and passive-aggressive texts for actual emotional maturity. Plus, we talk about how the internet has totally mangled this concept and what to do instead. If you’ve ever felt burned out, resentful, overwhelmed, or just vaguely annoyed by everyone around you, this is for you. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/boundaries CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:29 Foundations of Boundaries 00:02:05 The Breakdown: What boundaries actually are (and aren’t) 00:04:42 The Spectrum: Porous, Rigid, Healthy 00:09:06 Boundaries vs. Values, Rules, Preferences, and Requests 00:13:32 What happens when boundaries erode? 00:18:46 The Solution: Boundaries as structure and freedom 00:22:57 Boundaries: Freedom Through Limitation 00:25:09 Creativity with Limitations 00:29:15 Mental Health and Limitations 00:38:53 Example 00:42:54 Boundaries and Maturity 00:45:20 Why Boundaries Matter 00:50:00 The Basis of Boundary Formation: Values 00:58:30 Translating Values into Boundaries 01:04:06 The Application: Living Your Valued Boundaries 01:10:14 Why We Fail to Set and Maintain Boundaries 01:11:11 Developmental Origins 01:22:53 Personality and Individual Differences 01:29:48 Emotional Regulation and Mental Health 01:46:06 Types of Boundaries 01:46:53 Physical Boundaries 01:49:28 Emotional Boundaries 01:51:44 Intellectual Boundaries 01:56:02 Time Boundaries 02:00:03 Digital Boundaries 02:09:01 Financial Boundaries 02:12:42 Family boundaries 02:18:52 Friendship Boundaries 02:23:06 Work Relationship Boundaries 02:28:22 Boundaries around authority 02:30:02 Self Boundaries 02:34:39 How to Set and Maintain Boundaries 03:13:37 Boundaries in Romantic Relationships 03:30:52 Parenting 03:37:04 Research & Frameworks 03:40:44 Western Romance 03:44:48 The 80/20 of Boundaries ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This one’s different. In this special year-end episode, I answer your questions—from the deep stuff about purpose and motivation, to the uncomfortable realities of change, burnout, failure, and dealing with unsupportive family. I also share the behind-the-scenes chaos of building SOLVED this year, what I learned about making massive, meaningful content, and what’s coming in 2026 (spoiler: boundaries, ego, and maybe some live shows). This is part personal, part philosophical, and part therapy session disguised as a podcast. If you’ve been wondering what’s next—or why you feel stuck—this one’s for you. See you in 2026. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:13 Recap of 2025 00:03:42 What if I don't have a single purpose? 00:06:07 Why don't I feel a strong need for purpose? 00:08:32 How do I find purpose when doing things I don't find important? 00:12:34 I'm having issues on getting motivated on one thing 00:19:35 What if my family doesn't support my purpose? 00:23:15 I'm struggling with the idea that purpose must be bigger than yourself 00:26:04 How Mark got Purpose AI to work 00:32:55 Questions from YouTube 00:33:13 How do you change yourself? 00:36:43 Finding meaning after AI takeover 00:44:01 What would a Models rewrite look like today? 00:48:19 Mark's first heartbreak 00:54:31 What would Mark put on Voyager 1? 00:57:35 Self-doubt on something you make 01:02:12 Mark's next book? 01:03:38 Tours around the world 01:05:55 Goals for 2026 01:08:14 Podcast changes for 2026 ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

This is the episode I’ve been waiting to make for a long time. Purpose has been at the core of everything I’ve written and done for over a decade—and in this episode, we go all the way down the rabbit hole. From Viktor Frankl surviving Auschwitz to the myth of “finding your one true purpose,” we break down what purpose really is, why you feel lost without it, and how you can build it into your life. We also get uncomfortable (in the best way) and talk about the dark side of purpose—how it can burn you out, trap you in toxic ambition, or become an excuse to ruin your life. And I have a very special announcement to make: Today, I’m launching a new app called Purpose. It’s an AI-powered mentor for personal growth. You talk to it about whatever you’re facing—stress, decisions, conflicts, goals—and it helps you make sense of things. Purpose listens, reflects back what matters most, and turns big challenges into small, actionable steps. The more you use it, the more personalized and helpful it becomes. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:39 Victor Frankl and Finding Purpose in the Darkness 00:17:19 What Is Purpose? 00:25:44 Myths 00:32:50 Definition 00:34:55 Health 00:39:22 Resilience and Purpose 00:45:34 Philosophical & Historical Perspectives on Purpose 00:52:47 Religion and Purpose 00:58:31 Descartes 01:00:11 Hume 01:04:51 Nietzsche 01:17:43 Kierkegaard 01:22:50 Ernest Becker 01:30:16 Picasso 01:30:40 Recap 01:31:26 The Psychology of Purpose 01:36:38 Relationships 01:45:45 Ego Identity 01:49:19 Social Aspect of Purpose 01:52:32 Religiosity 02:05:14 Going back to Religion 02:08:13 The Four Stages of Life 02:19:41 Trade off to Purpose 02:23:48 Transitioning in Purpose 02:31:33 The Dark Side of Purpose 02:40:38 Purpose App 02:51:36 Burnout 02:54:29 Toxic Purpose 03:07:25 Finding and Cultivating Purpose 03:27:04 Breakdown on finding Purpose 03:36:56 Finding Purpose in Work (or Not) 03:52:55 Parenting 04:01:00 Contributing to your community 04:04:05 Hobbies 04:09:14 Practical Tools and Frameworks 04:20:18 Purpose Setting 04:22:17 Finding the right tool 04:24:48 The 80/20 of Living with Purpose 04:34:24 Takeaways ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

We all compare ourselves to other people—our friends, coworkers, strangers on the internet—and most of the time, it makes us feel like shit. But why do we keep doing it? In this episode of Solved, we dig into the uncomfortable truth behind social comparison, how it quietly ruins our self-worth, and why most of what we envy in others is a projection of our own insecurity. We also get into the brutal paradox of success, the toxic loop of chasing status, and how the constant measurement of our lives against others is one of the dumbest things we do as a species. If you’ve ever felt not good enough, or like you’re falling behind, this one’s for you. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/socialcomparison CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:05:29 Evolutionary Roots 00:16:20 The Emotional Toolkit 00:20:18 Philosophy and Social Comparison 00:23:31 The Buddhist Path 00:24:58 Aristotle 00:34:34 Stoicism 00:36:24 Existentialism 00:40:06 Myths 00:48:37 The Psychology of Social Comparison 00:58:54 Downward Comparison 01:22:19 Digital Technology and Social Comparison 01:44:20 The 80/20 of Managing Comparison 01:57:40 Hidden Costs 01:58:48 Takeaways ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Friendship is the most important thing nobody talks about. From ancient philosophy to game theory, we break down why friendship isn’t just some social nicety—it’s a biological survival strategy. Plus: the modern forces slowly strangling our ability to connect, and exactly what to do about it. You’ll walk away with a clearer sense of what real friendship looks like, how to build it, and how to stop shooting yourself in the foot every time you try. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/friendship CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:07:52 Friendship: an Evolutionary Puzzle 00:25:45 What Is Friendship? 00:27:11 Friendship in the Great Religious Traditions 00:37:21 Modern Psychology's Definition of Friendship 00:49:02 Your Brain On Friendship 01:03:34 The Neurobiology of Connection 01:22:48 Health Benefits of Friendship 01:33:11 How to Make and Maintain Friendships 01:35:19 Proximity and Repeated Contact and Reciprocal Disclosure 01:53:51 Time investment (quantity and cadence) 01:58:15 Evidence-Based Strategies for Making Friends 02:07:46 Examples Of Making Friends 02:26:50 How Friendship Changes Across the Lifespan 02:54:18 Gender Dynamics in Friendships 03:09:39 Can Men And Women Be Friends? 03:16:39 Toxic Friendships 03:17:41 Competitive Friendship 03:21:18 Codependency 03:34:45 Why It's So Hard to Make Friends These Days 03:35:48 External Headwinds: Why Getting Together Is Hard 03:53:18 Internal Frictions: Why Staying Equal Feels Impossible 04:02:45 Technology's Double-Edged Impact on Human Connection 04:11:19 Mark's LA Story 04:20:21 The 80/20 of Friendship 04:30:33 The Trade-Offs of Friendship ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

What does it actually mean to live like a Stoic? In this wide-ranging conversation with bestselling author and modern Stoicism evangelist Ryan Holiday, we unpack the origins of Stoic philosophy, why it exploded during turbulent times in ancient Greece and Rome, and how its principles—like courage, temperance, justice, and wisdom—still apply in a world filled with chaos, anxiety, and uncertainty. From shipwrecked merchants to emperors journaling their fears, this episode explores why some of the most powerful figures in history turned to Stoicism not just for answers—but for survival. We also dig into how Stoicism overlaps with modern psychology, why it’s gaining traction among young men, and whether its rising popularity is being misunderstood or misused. If you’ve ever wondered whether Stoicism means being emotionless, if it’s compatible with ambition, or if it actually makes you a better person, this episode is your one-stop masterclass. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/stoicism ⇨ Order Ryan Holiday’s new book, Wisdom Takes Work: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Takes-Work-Repeat-Virtues/dp/0593191730 CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:49 Setting the Scene: Ancient Greece After Alexander 00:06:44 The Story of Zeno: Founder of Stoicism 00:13:58 The Four Stoic Virtues 00:44:20 Virtue 1: Courage 00:53:17 Virtue 2: Temperance (Discipline) 01:05:01 Virtue 3: Justice 01:08:51 Virtue 4: Wisdom 01:25:51 Roman Conquest and the Spread of Stoicism 01:33:10 Cato the Younger: The Stoic Martyr 01:39:06 Seneca: The Conflicted Philosopher 01:55:50 Epictetus: The Slave Philosopher 02:07:28 Marcus Aurelius: The Philosopher Emperor 02:20:18 Stoicism Through History 02:32:45 Stoicism and Modern Psychology 02:41:09 The Modern Stoicism Revival 02:50:06 Final Thoughts and Recommendations ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG:⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠⁠ Solved IG:⁠ ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠⁠ Twitter:⁠ ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠⁠ LinkedIn:⁠ ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠⁠ YouTube:⁠ ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson⁠

Resilience isn’t about pretending you’re fine or never feeling pain—it’s about learning how to act in your best interest despite the pain. In this episode of Solved, we dive deep into the science, psychology, and real-life examples of resilience—from Ernest Shackleton’s crew surviving two years stranded in Antarctica to my own slightly insane decision to run an endurance race with basically no training. Spoiler: I didn’t die. We cover it all: the biology of resilience, why some people are “dandelions” and thrive anywhere while others are “orchids” who need the right environment, the mindsets that let you push through hardship without losing your mind, and why humor and community might secretly be your best survival tools. And of course, we deliver the real, practical, evidence-based strategies you can actually apply when life inevitably decides to kick you in the teeth. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, stuck, or like you can’t take one more setback, this episode is for you. And if you’re one of those psychos who enjoys doing hard sh*t just to see what you’re made of… well, you’ll feel right at home here. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/resilience⁠ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:04:44 Reframing Resilience — Definitions & Misconceptions 00:13:11 The Word That Started It All 00:16:30 Bounce Forward, Not Back 00:23:50 Developmental and Biological Foundations of Resilience 00:29:26 The Evolutionary Puzzle 00:38:54 Biological & Physiological Foundations 00:44:45 Training Your Brain to Be More Resilient 00:48:43 The HPA Axis: Our Central Stress Response System 00:51:19 Heart Rate Variability: The Resilience Rhythm 00:54:32 Physiological Interventions 01:00:07 Gut-Brain Axis 01:17:17 Psychological, Philosophical & Evidence-Based Frameworks 01:20:19 The 5 Mindsets of Resilience 01:21:46 Mindset #1: Anything Is Possible 01:38:22 Mindset #2: Stories Are Just Stories 01:44:16 MIndset #3: Focus on What You Control 01:58:55 Mindset #4: Make It Fun 02:10:34 Mindset #5: Assume a Resilient Identity 02:20:21 Pheidippides 02:27:00 Sociocultural & Community Dimensions 02:37:40 Social Connection and Resilience: Why Strong People Don't Go It Alone 02:45:33 Blitz Spirit: Myth vs Reality 02:48:23 How to Build Your Resilient Circle 02:57:28 The 80/20 of Becoming More Resilient 03:11:36 The Hidden Costs of Resilience 03:22:25 What We Learned ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Chances are, there’s something in your life you feel deeply ashamed about—something you’ve never told anyone, something you can’t even admit to yourself. In this episode, we go deep into the emotion we all experience but almost no one wants to talk about: shame. Where it comes from, why it’s so powerful, how it screws up our lives—and more importantly, how to deal with it. We cover the biology of shame, the psychology, the evolutionary roots, and how modern life (especially the internet) completely messes with our shame systems. We talk about healthy vs. toxic shame, how it shows up in addiction, relationships, perfectionism, and self-sabotage, and why most of us either try to hide from it or end up being controlled by it. You’ll also hear from members of my team about how shame shaped their lives in surprising ways. As always, this episode is brutally honest, deeply researched, and sprinkled with a few bad jokes. But more than anything, I hope it gives you the awareness—and the tools—to start facing whatever it is you’ve been avoiding. Because you can’t outrun your shame. But you can learn to live with it. Get your free PDF guide: ⁠⁠https://solvedpodcast.com/shame CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:04:35 Shame's Hidden Architecture 00:14:38 Key Definitions 00:18:32 Distinguishing Shame from Guilt 00:20:49 State Shame vs. Trait Shame 00:21:47 Shame vs. Embarrassment and Humiliation 00:24:03 Shame, Trauma, and their Interrelationship 00:25:14 The Neurobiology of Shame 00:29:56 The Shame Spiral 00:36:04 The Learning Paradox of Shame 00:44:12 The Shame Compass 00:47:33 Personal Experiences with Shame 00:49:21 Workaholism as a Coping Mechanism 00:59:13 The Allure of Shamelessness 01:01:15 Individual, Familial, & Cultural Sources of Shame 01:11:05 Geographical Impact on Shame 01:13:08 Cultural Values and Shame 01:14:35 How the Greater Culture Shapes Shame 01:26:12 Digital Technology & Shame 2.0 01:28:02 The Digital Divide 01:31:05 The Relationship Between Technology and Anxiety 01:33:55 Protection Strategies 01:39:21 Developmental Stages of Shame 01:40:19 Understanding the Origin of Shame 01:42:57 The Role of Parenting in Shame Development 01:56:49 How Therapy Transformed Our Understanding of Shame 02:01:06 Carl Rogers and the Safety Revolution 02:07:31 Albert Ellis and the Cognitive Revolution 02:11:58 The Influence of Albert Ellis and Carl Rogers 02:13:31 The Emergence of Reparenting and Inner Child Work 02:17:18 The Rise of Internal Family System 02:27:59 Tools to Address Your Shame 02:40:19 Stoic Principles for Perspective 02:47:05 Perspective Shifting Techniques 02:58:26 Tuning Your Shame System 03:10:39 Recognizing Unsustainable Shame Patterns 03:16:28 Kristen Neff's Self-Compassion Framework 03:25:33 Understanding Shame as Obsession and Resentment 03:29:53 Overcoming Shame and Personal Growth 03:31:39 Takeaways from the Discussion on Shame 03:40:40 Conclusion ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Everyone’s obsessed with being happy—but what if that obsession is the very thing making us miserable? Drew and I explore what actually makes us feel good—and why most of us are chasing it in all the wrong ways. We unpack what philosophers like Aristotle and the Buddha got right thousands of years ago—and how modern science is just now catching up. We talk about hedonic vs. eudaimonic happiness, why more money and status don’t necessarily move the needle, and why most self-help advice completely misses the point. Happiness isn’t something you get. It’s a side effect of doing the right things for the right reasons. So, if you're tired of chasing "more" and ready to actually feel a little less miserable, this one’s for you. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/happiness CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:42 Is Happiness the Right Goal? 00:11:22 The Origins of Human Happiness 00:11:44 Hedonia vs Eudaimonia 00:15:51 Epicureanism 00:24:00 Eastern Perspectives 00:27:55 Modern Happiness Research 00:30:10 The WEIRD Problem: When Happiness Research Goes West 00:41:27 The Three Components of Happiness 00:47:24 Hedonic Adaptation 01:00:34 What Does—and Doesn't—Make Us Happy 01:01:16 Drugs and Alcohol 01:08:03 Sex 01:15:49 Money 01:23:50 Fame and Status 01:34:40 Physical Attractiveness 01:38:06 Geography and Environment 01:40:31 Love and Relationships 01:41:59 Friendships 01:44:44 Having Children 01:49:50 The Experiencing vs. Remembering Self 01:53:33 Baseline vs. Circumstantial vs. Intentional Happiness – Where to Focus 01:54:15 Genetics 02:00:30 Circumstances 02:02:56 Intentional Actions 02:06:54 Relationships 02:11:31 Gratitude 02:13:53 Altruism 02:19:27 Experiences vs. Stuff 02:22:52 Implementing Intentional Happiness 02:25:02 Chapter 6: Don't Pursue Happiness; Remove Unhappiness 02:29:45 Social Comparison 02:32:10 Maximizers vs. Satisficers 02:34:40 How Happiness Changes Across the Lifespan 02:52:24 Happiness Myths 03:05:28 The 80/20 Guide to Happiness 03:17:03 Lessons Learned ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

What are emotions? Why do we feel anything at all? And more importantly — can we actually get better at feeling? In this episode, Drew and I dive headfirst into what might be the hardest question in all of psychology: what the actual f**k are emotions? We break down the biology, neuroscience, evolution, culture, and even language that shape how we feel — and why we often don’t understand what the hell is going on inside us. From ancient philosophy to brain scans, this is a deep (and occasionally weird) look into the emotional chaos that makes us human. We unpack everything from the origins of emotional intelligence (spoiler: it might be BS) to the science of emotional regulation, attachment styles, and the sneaky ways your culture wires your emotional defaults. Along the way, we explore why some relationships make you feel like a better person while others drain the life out of you, and how trauma, genetics, and childhood with your ability to keep it together. But this episode isn’t just about understanding emotions — it’s about learning how to work with them. And we give you a full emotional toolkit: a set of evidence-based tools to help you manage your emotions, build better relationships, feel more motivated, and yes — even feel more confident in yourself in the process. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/emotions CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:04:47 What Are Emotions? 00:14:04 The Emotional Brain 00:22:03 Neurotransmitters 00:34:25 Evolution of Emotions 00:39:53 How Life Experiences Shape Emotional Regulation 00:48:41 Conclusion on What are Emotions 00:49:45 How Culture Influences Our Emotions 00:55:44 Vietnam Bike Story 01:00:05 Your Culture Trains You to Want Certain Feelings 01:06:00 Culture Decides Whether Suppression is a Superpower or a Liability 01:07:56 Paradox of Emotional Conformity 01:16:36 How Language Shapes What You Feel 01:29:23 Emotional Complexity 01:36:25 Your Emotions Are Social Currency 01:43:00 Conclusion to Culture defines our emotions 01:44:08 Historical and Philosophical Traditions on Emotions 01:57:21 Modern Culture 01:59:00 The Four Schools of Emotional Regulation 02:00:56 The Heart 02:08:55 The Head 02:18:37 The Soul 02:28:50 The Body 02:36:23 The Integrated Toolkit 02:48:25 Brilliant or Bullshit: Emotional Intelligence 02:57:31 Relationships and Emotional Regulation 03:09:54 Attachment Theory 03:27:29 Toxic Relationship 03:36:49 Building Emotional Compatibility 03:51:24 Conclusion Relationships 03:57:24 The 80/20 of Emotions ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

From Plato and Aristotle to Freud and modern research, we break down why we delay the things that matter most—and how to actually stop. This isn't a “just set a timer” productivity talk. We’re diving deep into shame, identity, perfectionism, culture, and why procrastination is ultimately a *skill issue*, not a moral failure. We cover things like: How humans have thought about putting things off for over 2000 years, the real reason you avoid the most important tasks in your life, why “I work better under pressure” is (usually) BS, why self-compassion is actually more motivating than guilt, tons of practical, research-backed strategies you can start using todayAnd much, much, much more. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/procrastination CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:05 Episode Roadmap 00:08:20 What exactly is procrastination? 00:15:50 Plato's Thoughts on Procrastination 00:24:07 The Buddhist & Confucian Views on Procrastination 00:26:19 Aristotle's Take on Procrastination 00:33:50 Christianity and Procrastination 00:46:53 Self-Compassion and Procrastination 00:58:45 The Reformation and Procrastination 01:04:25 Freud's Influence on Psychology 01:06:40 Pleasure Principle and Reality Principle 01:08:13 Id, Ego, and Superego 01:10:26 Defense Mechanisms 01:17:20 Adopting Habits as Identity 01:23:05 The Influence of Childhood and Parenting on Procrastination 01:33:42 Behaviorism 01:41:21 Environmental Design 01:46:10 Thriving Under Pressure: A Critique 01:52:10 Expectation, Pressure, and Procrastination 01:54:06 Critique of Behaviorism 01:59:20 Time Management 02:07:33 Knowledge vs Emotion in Procrastination 02:16:43 Mark and Drew's Personal Productivity Systems 02:20:37 Deep Work and Task Management 02:23:12 Productivity System for ADHD 02:29:26 Productive Procrastination 02:34:22 Importance of Task Completion 02:36:51 Existentialism and Purpose 02:44:21 Purpose and Motivation 02:53:40 Temporal Motivation Theory 02:57:39 Limitations of Temporal Motivation Theory 02:59:22 The Role of Technology in Procrastination 03:07:10 The Dynamic Nature of Temporal Motivation Theory 03:10:59 Critique of Temporal Motivation Theory 03:16:41 Emotional Regulation Theory of Procrastination 03:20:27 Understanding Emotional Regulation 03:23:04 Managing Emotions and Environment 03:28:09 Introduction to the RAIN Method 03:31:07 The Six Types of Procrastinators 03:40:21 The 80-20 of Procrastination 03:46:21 Strategic Use of Friction 03:56:11 Gamifying Tasks to Make Them More Interesting 03:58:49 The Impact of Environment on Productivity 04:01:07 The Role of Purpose in Overcoming Procrastination 04:06:06 The Concept of "Minimum Viable Action" 04:11:26 Addressing Underlying Emotions to Overcome Procrastination 04:16:06 Leveraging Human Nature and Rewards 04:20:06 The Social Aspect of Overcoming Procrastination 04:21:19 Productive Procrastination: A Double-Edged Sword 04:22:32 The Hidden Costs of Overcoming Procrastination 04:39:12 Conclusion ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Welcome to the first episode of the Solved Podcast. Today, we are solving your values. Over eight years ago, I wrote The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck—a book that, underneath all the swearing and irreverence, was really about one thing: values. What do you care about? What’s actually worth your time, your energy, your life? So in this kickoff episode of SOLVED, Drew and I are going deep into why your values are the foundation of everything—your happiness, your mental health, your relationships, your sense of meaning—and why so many of us today feel so lost. We break down the difference between chasing cheap dopamine hits and building real fulfillment, why not all values are created equal, how to figure out what your true values are, how to change your values, how to start living out your values more fully, and how values silently shape your decisions and relationships every day. If you’ve ever felt stuck, directionless, or like you’re living someone else’s life, this episode is the wake-up call you need. It’s time to stop drifting through life and start giving a fck about the right things. Forget the rest. Welcome to SOLVED. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/values CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Welcome to SOLVED 00:09:31 What are Values? 00:10:26 Characteristics of Values 00:14:23 Values vs. Psychological Needs vs. Preferences 00:23:06 Schwartz's Values Wheel 00:30:36 Instrumental and Terminal Values 00:32:15 Hierarchy of Values 00:38:35 Values Conflict 00:42:35 Carol Ryff's Six Dimensions of Psychological Well-being 00:57:01 Aristotle's Golden Mean as Virtue 01:05:01 Values and Your Relationships 01:22:56 The Clash of Values in Relationships 01:30:29 Identifying and Navigating Values in Relationships 01:34:40 Understanding Compatibility Through Values 01:37:25 Where Do Values Come From? 01:38:20 Margaret Mead's Cultural Relativism 01:47:55 Mary Douglas's and the Grid-Group Framework 01:56:20 Jonathan Haidt's Moral Foundations Theory 02:09:26 The Allegory of the Taco Truck 02:14:34 Identifying Your Core Values 02:16:58 Thought Experiments to Find Your Values 02:32:16 The Instrumental Value of Golf 02:41:45 The Role of Trauma in Value Change 02:48:53 How to Change Your Values 02:50:44 Kazimierz Dabrowski and Positive Disintegration 03:03:22 On Cults and Cognitive Dissonance 03:16:26 Self-Confrontation and Value Change 03:18:34 Charlie Munger's Maxim: Incentives and Behavior 03:21:56 Lessons and Takeaways 03:36:30 The 80/20 of Values ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

New podcast launches May 1st! We'll be releasing on this same feed, so all you have to do is stay subscribed to this channel and you'll get all the new episodes as they come out. *** After more than 70 episodes and 30 million downloads, I’ve decided to shut down The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast. Yeah, I know—sounds a little crazy. But the truth is, I wasn’t having fun anymore. The guest treadmill, the pressure to play nice, the temptation to chase clicks instead of meaning—it all started to feel fake. So, I’m pulling the plug. BUT—I’m not going away. I’m launching something new. It’s called Solved—a no-ads, no-guests, deep-dive podcast where each episode tackles one major life topic and breaks it down thoroughly. Think: values, emotions, procrastination—done right, from every angle, with real research and clear implementation. It’s the podcast I wish already existed. So I’m making it. First episode drops May 1 st! Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough Follow me: https://instagram.com/markmanson/ https://twitter.com/IAmMarkManson https://facebook.com/Markmansonnet/ https://linkedin.com/in/markmanson/ https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’ve got a special episode for you today. I sat down in person with my longtime friend and first-ever podcast guest, Derek Sivers. We haven’t recorded live before, and honestly, it shows—in the best way. It’s raw, weird, and filled with the kind of conversations we usually when we’re just hanging out together. We dig into Derek’s new book, Useful, Not True, and the big idea behind it: that our beliefs don’t need to be true to be helpful. That spins off into everything from remixing creative influences (metal + Dixieland jazz, anyone?) to why most podcasts—including mine—have gotten painfully predictable. We talk artistic reinvention, Bob Dylan, Bowie, Miles Davis, why most “thought leaders” are just regurgitating each other’s ideas, and why I'm ending the podcast as you know it—and what’s next! We also dive into the deeper stuff: the emotional power of belief, authenticity vs. performative vulnerability, therapy culture, and why sometimes the most liberating thing you can do is reject what everyone else thinks is necessary—relationships, kids, all of it. This was one of the most honest, meandering, and creatively energizing conversations I’ve had in a while. If you’re into big questions, unconventional ideas, and the occasional musical metaphor, this one’s for you. Derek’s new book- Useful, Not True: https://www.amazon.com/Useful-Not-True-Derek-Sivers-ebook/dp/B0D86K4XF5 CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: A Special Live Recording with Derek Sivers 00:01:03 Finding Ideas: Chinese Dictionaries and Creative Remixing 00:03:52 The Miles Davis Principle: Why Success Means It's Time to Stop 00:05:59 The London Scene vs. The Welsh Countryside 00:07:49 Mark's Podcast Pivot: Breaking Out of the Interview Format 00:06:50 The Bookshelf Problem: Conformity in Podcasting 00:16:20 Introducing Useful, Not True: The Core Concept 00:20:09 Why All That Really Matters Are Your Actions 00:32:31 Religion as Actions, Not Beliefs 00:27:53 The Other Side of the River: Perspective Is Everything 00:30:15 Social Norms as Useful, Not True Beliefs 00:36:28 The Emotional Resistance to Questioning Your Beliefs 00:37:49 Against Authenticity: Why Your First Thought Is an Obstacle 00:38:42 Therapy Culture: When Private Concepts Go Public 00:42:37 The Pilot Analogy: Why We Want Some People to Lie 00:45:59 Optimistic Nihilism: The Joy of Nothing Meaning Anything 00:49:16 Everything Is Feelings: Why Emotions Are the Ultimate Metric 00:50:22 Optimizing for Happiness, Not Money 00:56:03 The Jordan Peterson Paradox: Brilliant Openings, Absolute Endings 01:03:37 Derek's Relationship Revelation: I Don't Want a Life Partner 01:07:25 The Biology Question: Should You Want What You're Supposed to Want? 01:08:07 Middle Age and Dating: Why Single Parents Check Out 01:20:26 The Companionship Paradox: Friends vs. Partners 01:21:23 Drew's Influence and the Coldplay Problem 01:23:15 The Closing: Changing Formats and Creative Courage ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

In this episode, Drew and I dive into some of the biggest beliefs we’ve shifted over the years—and what it actually looks like to change your mind. We talk about Drew’s evolving views on religion, why I’m way less convinced that people are as changeable as we like to believe, and why I think trauma might be getting a little too much airtime in the self-help world. We also get into the loneliness epidemic, the quiet power of community, and why so much of “personal growth” isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about learning to work with who you already are. Leave a comment below about what you’ve changed your mind about—and enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: 72 Episodes and the Work Behind It 00:02:00 Why We Need to Change Our Minds More Often 00:03:14 Drew's Shifting View on Religion 00:04:33 The New Atheism Movement and Its Limitations 00:05:44 Religion's Benefits: Community, Service, and Local Focus 00:06:43 The Dogma Dilemma: Can You Have the Good Without the Bad? 00:13:06 The Feature Is the Bug: Why Religion Works So Well 00:17:54 Mark's Big Mind Change: People Are Less Malleable Than We Think 00:18:53 The Twin Studies and What They Revealed 00:21:06 What Actually Changes: Attitude, Not Identity 00:26:45 The Self-Acceptance Paradox 00:24:47 It's a Skill Issue, Not a Personality Issue 00:26:15 The Dangerous Desire to Become a New Person 00:30:41 Mark's Contrarian Take: Trauma Is Overrated 00:33:24 The Trauma Narrative as Cop-Out 00:35:18 Resilience: The Underrated Human Trait 00:37:55 Drew's Contrarian Take: Optimism About the Future 00:39:35 The Data on Human Progress 00:43:17 Climate Change and the Solutions-Create-Problems Cycle 00:46:35 Closing Wisdom: Keep an Open Mind ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Lewis Howes is one of the most successful podcasters of all time—12 years, nearly 1,800 episodes, and countless interviews with world-class performers. But what’s even more interesting is how his definition of success has evolved over the years. In this conversation, Lewis opens up about shifting from a hyper-competitive, “be number one” mentality to a more collaborative, impact-driven approach. We also dive into emotional regulation, the surprising ways our relationship with money affects our lives, and why most people either idolize or demonize wealth. Oh, and Lewis casually mentions he’s training to compete in the Olympics in his 40s. No big deal. This episode is packed with insights on what it really means to live a fulfilling, abundant life—without losing your mind in the process. Lewis's new book, Make Money Easy: https://www.amazon.com/Make-Money-Easy-Financial-Freedom/dp/1401993931 Lewis's podcast, The School of Greatness: https://lewishowes.com/sogpodcast/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction and 12 Years of Podcasting 00:01:03 Redefining Greatness: From Competition to Collaboration 00:03:35 The Jealousy Trap and Learning to Celebrate Others 00:04:49 When Being Number One Isn't Enough 00:10:24 The School of Greatness: Creating Your Own Therapy 00:12:07 From Hypercompetitive Athlete to Emotionally Aware Human 00:13:51 Vision and Spatial Awareness: The Athletic Edge That Translates 00:16:07 Treating Life Like Sports: Coaches, Seasons, and Feedback 00:17:40 Greatness 101: The Essential Curriculum 00:18:53 Emotional Regulation: Healing Childhood Wounds 00:22:13 Gratitude and Generosity: The Gateway to Flourishing 00:25:15 The Money Book Nobody Else Wrote 00:26:48 Money Wounds and Money Stories 00:29:22 If Money Walked Through the Door: The Revealing Exercise 00:31:09 Growing Up With Money: Downplaying Success to Fit In 00:36:15 Why We Attach So Much Emotion to Money 00:37:28 Money and Self-Worth: The Dangerous Connection 00:38:52 Mark's Healthy Relationship With Money 00:40:49 Broke and Happy vs Rich and Miserable: The Four Quadrants 00:41:30 Living on a Couch: From Defeated to Empowered 00:44:44 Success Without Peace: Fighting Everyone at 30 00:46:07 Mark's Journey: From Friend's Couch to Subtle Art Success 00:47:11 Broke But Optimistic: Learning Skills and Building Momentum 00:48:57 When Massive Success Breaks Your Brain 00:50:56 The Psychological Adjustment to Sudden Wealth 00:52:25 When Friends and Family Get Weird About Your Money 00:54:08 The Generosity Paradox: When Giving Backfires 00:56:01 Quality of Life Equals Quality of Relationships 00:57:58 Getting Married: Doing Everything Opposite 00:59:06 Courageous Conversations and Early Therapy 01:01:05 The No Upset Agreement: Communicating Without Fighting 01:02:17 Have Serious Conversations Sooner in Relationships 01:03:59 The Olympic Dream: A 40-Year Journey 01:06:53 Showing Up Uninvited: The First Handball Practice 01:08:37 The Dream That Died and Came Back to Life 01:09:54 Paris 2024: Reactivating the Fire 01:10:39 Three and a Half Years to Go: The Marathon Begins 01:12:53 Ambitious Goals That Seem Slightly Unhinged ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Resilience isn’t just about gritting your teeth and enduring pain—it’s about managing the stories you tell yourself. In this episode, I break down why most people get resilience wrong and how mastering the “second arrow” is the real key to bouncing back. We dive into post-traumatic growth, why caring about something bigger than yourself makes you stronger, and how focusing on what you can control changes everything. We also talk about AI—how it’s not here to save or destroy humanity, but it is going to change everything. We look at how AI is already transforming creative and knowledge-based jobs, why you should be using it right now, and what you can do to stay ahead. Plus, we tackle the ultimate question: Can people change? That three-word question is lot more complex than it seems. Check it out. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Have You Felt the AGI? 00:03:31 The Fuck of the Week: What Resilience Really Is 00:07:09 The Problem With Mental Health Apps 00:10:40 Five Ways to Build Real Resilience 00:19:56 The Novelty Addiction and Showing Up for Small Things 00:24:06 Brilliant or Bullshit: Will AI Doom or Save Humanity? 00:29:42 AI as a New Medium: Interactive Novels and Beyond 00:32:38 How to Actually Use AI: The Quality Input Problem 00:38:06 The New Scarcity: Where Humans Still Matter 00:43:50 Reader Question: Can People Change? 00:46:36 The Prerequisites for Change and the Codependency Trap 00:51:18 What Actually Counts as Change? 00:55:50 Personal Changes and the Slow Grind ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

You know that voice in your head that loves to tell you that you suck? Yeah, that one. The one that compares you to everyone on Instagram, tells you you’re a failure for eating cereal at 11 p.m., and insists you’ll never get your life together. Well, today, we’re calling in a professional to deal with that assh*le. Dr. Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist and viral mental health educator who’s built a massive following by actually making psychology make sense. In this episode, she breaks down how to quiet that inner critic, stop getting crushed by comparison, and reframe your self-loathing into something a little more useful—like self-respect. We also dig into what it’s like to become internet famous when you’re an introvert, why emotions are not facts (even though they feel like they are), and how to stop letting social media, your parents, and your own bullsh*t beliefs define your worth. Whether you’re stuck in a shame spiral, wondering why life feels pointless, or just trying to figure out how to not hate yourself so much, this episode is for you. Dr. Julie’s new book, Open When: A Companion for Life's Twists & Turns: https://www.amazon.com/Open-When-Companion-Lifes-Twists-ebook/dp/B0D3CB1XX6 Dr. Julie’s first book, Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Nobody-Told-This-Before-ebook/dp/B0983L6T32 Follow Dr. Julie: https://www.youtube.com/@DrJulie https://www.instagram.com/drjulie https://www.tiktok.com/@drjulie https://x.com/drjuliesmith https://www.facebook.com/DrJulieSmith/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: That Voice in Your Head 00:01:13 The Social Media Paradox: Spreading Mental Health Advice Online 00:03:21 From Therapy Room to TikTok: An Accidental Journey 00:04:55 Internet Fame and the Introvert's Dilemma 00:07:01 Having Your Own Back: The Inner Coach Technique 00:09:50 The Investment Portfolio Approach to Identity 00:12:40 Social Comparison: A Strength Turned Upside Down 00:17:47 The Values Exercise: Finding What Actually Matters 00:20:48 The Whole Package: Envying Success Without the Sacrifice 00:22:58 Working With Military Trauma: What Humans Are Capable Of 00:25:32 You Have More Capacity to Cope Than You Think 00:27:33 Predator vs Prey: Facing a Cancer Diagnosis 00:30:23 Thriving Under Pressure: The Great Debate 00:31:42 The Loneliness Epidemic and Modern Barriers to Connection 00:35:02 Good Therapy, Bad Therapy: What to Look For 00:39:52 Modeling a Positive Ending: The Therapeutic Breakup 00:41:00 When Everything Feels Pointless: Nihilism and Meaning 00:44:01 Emotions Are Not Facts: The DBT Approach 00:46:05 Emotions as Weather: Clouds Will Pass 00:47:59 What Actually Matters: The People Right Next to You 00:50:02 When Your Parents Got It Wrong: The Adult-to-Adult Shift 00:53:34 The Healed Human Myth: Relationships Are Two Imperfect People 00:54:27 When You Hate Who You've Become: The Impossible Task of Pleasing Everyone 00:57:13 Emotions as Echoes of the Past 00:59:00 Liberation From Parental Approval: A Sign of Maturity 00:59:37 Closing: We're All Healed Now ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Fear of failure isn’t really about failure—it’s about what failure means to us. We’re not scared of messing up; we’re scared of being judged, embarrassed, or proving our worst insecurities right. But the people who actually succeed at anything are the ones willing to suck at it long enough to get good. Today, we break down why failure feels so terrifying, how social comparison messes with our heads, and why the loudest critics are usually the ones who’ve never done a damn thing themselves. Tune in for some practical tips on overcoming all of this. We also dig into the science of why boredom can spark better ideas, why our addiction to content might be making us less creative, and whether we should all do a digital detox before our brains turn into overstimulated mush. Finally, we wrap things up with a simple but profound question: If life is just an endless series of trade-offs, what are the best problems to have? Because problems never go away—you just get to level up to better ones. The Creative Benefits of Boredom: https://hbr.org/2014/09/the-creative-benefits-of-boredom CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Morning Workout Experiment That Failed 00:02:39 The Fuck of the Week: Fear of Failure 00:03:47 What You're Really Afraid Of: It's Not the Failure Itself 00:05:25 The Spotlight Effect: Nobody's Watching You Like You Think 00:09:35 Reframing Failure: You Have to Suck at Something First 00:11:43 Why Fear Is Really About Relationships 00:13:49 The Paradox of Cringe: Growth Requires Embarrassment 00:16:02 Five Tactics to Conquer Fear: Exposure Therapy and Beyond 00:22:43 Building an Identity Around Doing Hard Things 00:25:18 The Key Takeaway: Focus on Process Over Outcome 00:27:27 Brilliant Bullshit: Does Boredom Make You More Creative? 00:35:07 The Creativity Crisis: Why Art Feels Less Innovative 00:39:39 Practical Tips: How to Use Boredom to Boost Creativity 00:42:18 Reader Question: What Are the Best and Worst Problems to Have? 00:48:22 The Red Paperclip Story: Life as a Series of Trade-Offs 00:51:43 Wisdom of the Week: Mark's New Favorite Joke ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Life in a rock band isn’t all sold-out shows and backstage parties—it’s a high-pressure, all-consuming commitment that tests friendships, sanity, and survival. In this episode, I sit down with Randy Blythe, legendary frontman of Lamb of God, to pull back the curtain on what it really takes to last in the music industry. From the brutal realities of band relationships to the myths of the rockstar lifestyle, Randy shares unfiltered insights on creativity, addiction, and personal transformation. We also dig into his journey to sobriety, the impact of punk rock’s DIY ethos, and the surprising ways today’s generation is redefining rebellion. Whether you’re a musician, a fan, or just someone navigating your own challenges, this conversation is a raw and inspiring look at resilience, reinvention, and the power of staying true to yourself. Randy’s books: Just Beyond the Light: https://www.amazon.com/Just-Beyond-Light-Making-Inside-ebook/dp/B0DJHMN7C1 Dark Days: https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Days-D-Randall-Blythe/dp/0306825090 CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: From Punk Rock to Prison 00:02:15 The Reality of Band Relationships 00:10:50 Discovering Punk Rock: The Sex Pistols Moment 00:15:19 The Cultural Evolution of Rebellion 00:19:00 Why Artists and Musicians Struggle with Addiction 00:22:30 Kurt Cobain and the Romanticism of Pain 00:30:17 October 17th, 2010: Randy's Last Day Drinking 00:37:04 The Brutal Reality of Getting Sober 00:25:44 Creativity After Sobriety 00:42:16 Balancing Two Extremes: Optimism and Nihilism 00:47:45 Why Metal Heads Are Actually the Nicest People 00:51:44 Arrested in Prague: The Nightmare Begins 00:55:42 37 Days in Pankrac Prison 01:00:26 The Artist's Mind in Crisis 00:58:34 Why Randy Went Back to Face Trial 01:06:27 Lessons from Prison: Perspective and Gratitude 01:10:13 Advice for Young Creatives: Practice and Don't Give a Fuck 01:12:51 The Reality Check: Beer Bottles and Middle Fingers ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Self-help is supposed to, you know, help. But what if, sometimes, it actually makes things worse? In this episode, we take a hard look at the self-improvement industry that promises transformation but often sells little more than feel-good illusions. From outdated advice that preys on your insecurities to the dopamine hit of "life-changing" content that changes nothing, we break down why self-help often fails the people who need it most. Along with unpacking the biggest traps of self-improvement, Drew and I also tackle whether or not minimalism was just an aesthetic rebellion against our parents’ McMansion dreams. We were both once staunch minimalists and we look back on what we learned and what principles still apply to our lives today. We wrap up with a listener question about the ethics of going to church if you’re an atheist. It’s another grab bag episode full of rabbit holes. Check it out. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Chair Situation and What's Coming 00:00:31 Five Problems with the Self-Help Industry 00:03:07 Bad to Okay vs. Okay to Great: Two Different Audiences 00:05:33 The Shame Trap: When Self-Help Makes You Feel Worse 00:07:41 The Codependency Problem and Who We're Really Helping 00:10:08 Self-Help as Avoidance: Learning vs. Doing 00:13:51 The Magic Bullet Myth: Unrealistic Marketing Expectations 00:17:06 The Science Problem: Replication Crisis and What Actually Works 00:18:29 Treating Yourself as an Experiment 00:22:29 The Self-Acceptance Paradox: Revisiting the Fifth Problem 00:25:15 Minimalism: Our Personal Journey 00:26:29 The Cultural Context: Why Minimalism Became a Trend 00:30:37 The Benefits and Downsides of Owning Less 00:34:07 Minimalism as Identity: The Status Symbol Problem 00:34:49 Sentimentality and Objects: When Things Matter 00:33:22 The Real Lesson: Anti-Consumerism, Not Minimalism 00:40:52 Listener Question: Can Atheists Go to Church? 00:44:21 The Church-Sized Hole in Society 00:49:22 Why Strict Beliefs Create Stronger Communities 00:51:30 Wisdom of the Week: Carl Rogers on Self-Acceptance ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Australia, you absolute legends. Back in November, I did a speaking tour across seven cities, talking to thousands of you about life, purpose, relationships, and why giving fewer fucks is the key to actually living a life you don’t hate. We recorded some of the best Q&A moments to share with you here on the podcast. We diving into the big existential stuff—how to stop procrastinating, how to know if a relationship is right for you, and whether Australia’s ban on social media for kids is actually a good thing or not. We’ll also talk about the brutal truth behind imposter syndrome, how to stop caring so much about what other people think, and one thing that actually helps you figure out what the hell you should be doing with your life. Plus, I’ll share some hard-earned wisdom on drinking, quitting, and why people stay in bad relationships way too long. So if you’ve ever felt stuck, lost, or just overwhelmed by the sheer absurdity of life, this one’s for you. Hit play and let’s get into it. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Live from Australia 00:02:00 Finding What Truly Matters in Life 00:03:46 The Real Reason We Procrastinate 00:07:27 Healing From Trauma: Rebuilding Trust in the World 00:09:46 The Experiment Framework: How Long to Try 00:13:19 Stop Caring What Others Think 00:14:43 Killing Old Versions of Yourself 00:16:35 The Secret to a Long-Term Successful Marriage 00:19:44 Relationship Uncertainty: Will They Come Back? 00:22:17 Bad Behavior and the 2024 Election 00:26:12 Trade-Offs With Outsized Returns 00:28:58 Parenting Advice: Raising Kids With Healthy Values 00:32:00 Turning Imposter Syndrome Into Motivation 00:34:03 Relationship Expectations: What You Deserve 00:35:39 The Problem With Too Much Empathy 00:39:00 Australia's Social Media Ban for Kids Under 16 00:40:53 Life Advice for a 16-Year-Old 00:42:47 Escaping Analysis Paralysis 00:44:41 Caring Too Much at 15: Social Pressure at School 00:47:19 Staying Relevant in the Age of AI 00:49:23 The Paradox of Good People Who Don't Feel Good 00:51:35 Stop Searching for Purpose: Make It Instead 00:54:41 When Support Becomes a Prison 00:57:47 Overcoming Failure After Failure 01:00:37 Finding Hope When the World Feels Depressing 01:04:40 Death, Grief, and Memento Mori ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Today, I sit down with Arthur Brooks, a renowned social scientist and happiness expert, for a deep dive into the realms of meaning, faith, and love. Our conversation takes unexpected turns as we explore the intersection of spirituality, psychology, and personal growth. From discussing the evolutionary roots of our search for meaning to examining the role of faith in modern life, this episode challenges conventional wisdom and offers fresh perspectives on age-old questions. We cover a wide range of topics, including the importance of boredom in fostering creativity, the dangers of political activism as a substitute for religion, and the keys to a successful marriage. Arthur shares insights from his work with the Dalai Lama, explains why young men are increasingly turning to religion, and offers advice on finding meaning in a world dominated by technology. Whether you're grappling with questions of faith, seeking to understand the nature of love, or simply looking for ways to live a more fulfilling life, this conversation will leave you with plenty to ponder and explore further. Arthur’s latest book with Oprah Winfrey: Build the Life You Want: https://www.amazon.com/Build-Life-You-Want-Science-ebook/dp/B0C38FCTJC All of Arthur’s books: https://www.amazon.com/stores/Arthur-C.-Brooks/author/B001HOU7RE Arthur’s online workshop: https://www.scienceofhappier.com/ Arthur’s newsletter: https://arthurbrooks.com/newsletter Arthur’s column in The Atlantic: https://www.theatlantic.com/projects/how-build-life/ Follow Arthur: https://www.instagram.com/arthurcbrooks/ https://www.facebook.com/ArthurBrooks/ https://x.com/arthurbrooks https://www.tiktok.com/@arthurcbrooks CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Two Former Musicians Walk Into a Studio 00:00:45 The Super Striver Kid: When Ambition Replaces Meaning 00:03:38 The Identity Trap: When You Become What You Do 00:06:36 The Evolutionary Tension: Acclaim vs. Meaning 00:08:43 The Limbic System vs. The Prefrontal Cortex 00:11:55 The Meaning Crisis: When Your Life Feels Pointless 00:13:08 The Boredom Solution: Why You Need to Be Bored More 00:15:34 Coherence vs. Chaos: The Information Abundance Problem 00:17:19 The Default Mode Network: Where Your Best Ideas Come From 00:18:29 Leisure as Meaning: Joseph Pieper and Structured Downtime 00:21:50 The Rise of Religiosity: Bible Sales and the Hunger for Depth 00:24:45 Young Men and the Meaning Crisis: Why Gender Divergence Is Happening 00:26:28 The Domestication Problem: Men at 30 and Substance Abuse 00:27:38 Church as the New Dating App: Why It's Getting Cool Again 00:28:45 The Genetic Component: Why People Return to Childhood Religion 00:30:26 Mark's Religious Journey: From Resentful Atheist to Intellectually Curious 00:33:57 The Emotional Relationship Fallacy: Why You Don't Need Certainty 00:35:29 Meaning Comes From Understanding, Not Answers 00:37:10 The Tangible vs. The Abstract: Is God Like Your Wife? 00:42:29 Neti Neti and the Via Negativa: Defining God by What It's Not 00:43:23 Transcendence: The Secret to Happiness 00:45:00 The Dalai Lama and the Earthrise Photo: Getting Small 00:47:25 The I Self vs. The Me Self: Where We Spend Our Attention 00:48:45 Childish Spirituality vs. Mature Faith: What Healthy Religion Looks Like 00:49:46 Politics as Substitute Religion: The Dark Side of Activism 00:50:34 Love and Contemplation: The Two Pillars of Healthy Religion 00:52:18 Fitness Cults and Marketing Religiosity: Missing the Point 00:53:35 Toxic Family vs. Political Schism: When to Cut People Off 00:56:33 Dark Triad Political Activists: How to Spot a Cult Leader 00:59:45 Virtual Cults: Why Internet Extremism Is Weaker Than You Think 01:01:39 Startups vs. Mergers: Why Most Successful Marriages Begin Young 01:02:20 The Hive Mind Marriage: Why Separate Bank Accounts Are Problematic 01:04:30 Men Fall Apart Alone: The Gender Divide in Singleness 01:05:44 Companionate Love: Your Spouse as Your Best Friend 01:07:25 The Spiritual Journey Together: Lewis and Clark Looking for the Pacific 01:08:59 Marriage Blindsided Me: The Permanence I Feared Became the Benefit 01:10:34 The Divorce Rate Myth: Your Odds Are Better Than You Think ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Drew comes in hot today as we dig into the nitty gritty of confidence and motivation. We explore the counterintuitive idea that true confidence doesn't come from expecting success, but from being comfortable with failure. If you've ever struggled with self-doubt or felt demotivated despite external achievements, this episode might just change your perspective. We start by dissecting what I call the "Confidence Conundrum" and how it applies to various aspects of life, from business to relationships. Then, we challenge some long-held beliefs about intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, discussing research that questions the idea that external rewards always undermine our natural interests. We wrap up with a thought-provoking exploration of Internal Family Systems theory and how understanding the different "parts" of our psyche can lead to greater self-integration. This is a grab bag episode that we had a lot of fun with, so I hope you enjoy it CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Drew Comes In Hot 00:01:29 The Confidence Conundrum Explained 00:04:02 Why External Success Doesn't Create Confidence 00:06:04 The Delusion Question: Startup Founders vs. High Earners 00:08:01 Why Affirmations and External Self-Improvement Fail 00:10:35 Being Comfortable With What You Lack 00:15:47 The Rejection Story: How Mark Met His Wife 00:18:51 The Route to Positivity Runs Through Negativity 00:20:07 Brilliant or Bullshit: The Motivation Puzzle 00:22:21 Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation Defined 00:24:25 Philip Pokes Holes in Motivation Theory 00:28:47 The Laboratory Problem: Are We Measuring What We Think? 00:34:37 Rewards as Distractions, Not Demotivators 00:36:35 Two Different Activities: The Woodworking Example 00:38:32 The Takeaway: When External Rewards Change the Game 00:39:56 Question of the Week: Understanding Your Parts 00:41:01 How Parts Work: The Conservative Family vs. Sex Worker Example 00:43:26 Drew's Personal Experience: Anxious vs. Avoidant Parts 00:45:55 The Professional vs. Personal Self 00:47:05 Why Parts Work Finally Caught On 00:49:40 Wisdom of the Week: Ralph Waldo Emerson ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Today, I'm joined by my old friend Tim Urban, the mastermind behind the wildly popular blog Wait But Why. Known for his ability to break down complex topics with humor and stick-figure drawings, Tim has captured the attention of millions worldwide. From his early days as a blogger to the release of his first book, "What's Our Problem?: A Self-Help Book for Societies," Tim has consistently delivered thought-provoking content that challenges our understanding of the world around us. In this episode, we dive into pressing issues like unfettered tribalism, the concept of "idea prisons," and the potential impact of AI on society. Tim also shares personal insights as a new parent and teases his upcoming book. It'll challenge your perspectives and leave you craving more of Tim's signature blend of depth, wit, and accessibility. Don't miss this captivating conversation that tackles the complexities of our modern world head-on. Tim’s blog: Wait, But Why?: https://waitbutwhy.com/ Tim’s book: What’s Our Problem: https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Our-Problem-Self-Help-Societies-ebook/dp/B0BTJCTR58 Follow Tim: https://www.instagram.com/timurban https://x.com/waitbutwhy https://www.facebook.com/waitbutwhy CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Tim Urban and Why Everyone Lost Their Minds 00:02:04 The Idea Prison Test: What Have You Changed Your Mind About? 00:03:00 Democrats, Republicans, and the Noun Prison 00:04:01 Sports Tribalism vs. Political Tribalism 00:05:33 How Tim Escaped His Own Idea Prison 00:07:15 Religion, Atheism, and the Wisdom Tim Missed 00:09:49 The Vertical vs. Horizontal Distinction in Politics 00:11:57 Are We Past Peak Tribalism? 00:12:31 Historical Patterns: The Red Scare and Salem Witch Trials 00:13:24 When the Primitive Mind Takes Over 00:14:59 The Wokeness Wave: A Crazy Thing That Happened 00:16:44 Social Media: The Root Cause That Remains 00:18:50 The Environmental Shift: New Media, New Power Dynamics 00:20:10 Developing Antibodies: Why It Takes a Generation 00:21:49 Mad Men and the Low-Hanging Fruit of New Media 00:23:02 Evolution, Power Vacuums, and the Iron Age Analogy 00:25:15 The Follower Economy and Algorithm Incentives 00:26:47 AI: The Next Cycle Before We've Finished This One 00:28:30 Will AI Solve or Worsen Our Information Problem? 00:30:30 The Alien Attack Solution and Productive Tribalism 00:31:56 When Information Becomes Universal and Free 00:32:57 Democracy, Facts, and the Will of the People 00:34:44 MSNBC, Fox News, and the Misinformation Business Model 00:36:10 The Three Tiers of Tribalism 00:37:20 When National Threats Disappear 00:38:30 Latin America, the Middle East, and Tribalism Geography 00:41:32 Parenthood: The Massive Pile of Pros and Cons 00:42:29 Pure Love and Low IQ Company 00:46:27 The Temporary Loss of Freedom 00:47:59 The History of Everything: Tim's Next Book 00:48:56 The Hell of Book Writing and the Freedom of Not ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Ever feel like culture’s splitting into countless micro-worlds where everyone’s just vibing to their own thing? In this episode, I introduce my theory on the "Jazzification of Everything." Drew and I dive into how our subcultures of music, entertainment, and even personal obsessions have evolved into these aging communities, totally detached from the cultural monocultures of the past. Whether it’s metal fans in their forties or electronic music lovers growing older with their favorite DJs, we explore how the media landscape and algorithms have encouraged us to stick to what we know—and why this shift could be both a gift and a curse. We also dig into why “premium mediocre” is taking over our consumer habits, and whether or not that’s actually a bad thing. We discuss how these tiny, exclusive-seeming trends might be fooling us, offering superficial luxuries instead of anything truly valuable. We cap it off with a big question about whether chasing after anything is worth it, or if we’re just dooming ourselves to disappointment. Give it a listen. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 The Jazzification of Everything: A Cultural Theory 00:00:25 Metal Shows, Electronic Music, and Middle-Aged Audiences 00:01:43 When Jazz Was Cool: The Birth of Subcultures 00:03:40 The Death of Monoculture and Cultural Balkanization 00:10:00 The Phone Problem: Recording vs. Experiencing Concerts 00:17:24 Digital Pacifiers and Avoiding Discomfort 00:21:07 Premium Mediocre: The Concept Explained 00:26:19 Why Everything Feels Like a Lie: Millennial Cynicism 00:28:29 Premium Mediocre Politics, Media, and Modern Life 00:30:25 The Maya Millennial and Aspirational Consumption 00:31:29 WeWork and the Premium Mediocre Business Model 00:33:45 The Innovation Problem: Solving Fake Problems 00:35:56 Choosing Your Suck: Why Chase Anything at All? 00:37:29 The Masochist Question: What Pain Do You Enjoy? 00:39:13 Over-Indexing on Meaning: The New Trap ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

In this special New Year's episode of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck podcast, we dive into the perennial challenge of making meaningful changes in our lives. Rather than falling into the typical "new year, new you" trap that leads most people to abandon their resolutions by February, Drew and I explore a different approach to personal transformation. We share our own struggles with perfectionism, control, and finding purpose. We also dig into some research about how evolution may have shaped our sense of purpose, the science of habit formation, and offer practical strategies for making lasting changes. Whether you're setting goals for the new year or just trying to build better habits, this episode will help you approach personal growth with more wisdom and less pressure in 2025. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: New Year, New You... Again 00:02:18 Last Year's Resolutions: How Did We Do? 00:03:39 The Fuck of the Year: Drew's Battle with Perfectionism 00:06:24 Making Abstract Goals Concrete: The Action Plan 00:11:52 Mark's Fuck of the Year: Letting Go of Control 00:14:58 The Terror of Transformation: Loss Aversion and Career Evolution 00:17:43 Team Safe Words and Delegation Struggles 00:20:17 Brilliant or Bullshit: Evolution Gave Us Purpose 00:26:26 The Status Paradox and Religious Communities 00:33:09 Purpose Isn't Always Pleasant: The Ethics Question 00:34:30 The Verdict: Small Improvements Beat Big Dreams 00:36:46 Listener Question: Why Are Bad Habits So Easy? 00:39:41 The Habit Loop: Modifying Cues and Adding Friction 00:43:42 Treating Symptoms vs. Root Causes: The Emotional Triggers 00:47:57 The Comfort Zone Problem and Meta Emotions 00:51:40 Outro: Wisdom of the Week Fail ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

This week, we dive headfirst into the messy, uncomfortable topic of regret. From the aches and grays that come with hitting a new decade to the deeper realizations about relationships, selfish mistakes, and missed opportunities, we unpack how regret shapes who we are. And there's a twist: what if regret isn’t something to fear or avoid? What if it’s a tool for growth? I share my own stories of taking people for granted, self-destructive habits, and the lessons I’ve learned about self-forgiveness and choosing your regrets wisely. We also tackle some fascinating questions about whether empathy is actually good for society. Is it always a good thing, or can it sometimes lead us astray? To round things off, we share our thoughts on AI and its impact on creativity and human connection. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Welcome to 40: Turning Points and Reflection 00:02:10 The Regret Conversation: Looking Back on Life at 40 00:03:15 Identity and Experience: Why Mark Doesn't Do Regret 00:04:48 The Five Regrets of the Dying and What They Reveal 00:07:42 Taking People for Granted: Drew's Biggest Regret 00:09:11 The Disrespect Factor: When Young Mark Was a Dick 00:11:44 Health Regrets and Ignoring Your Own Advice 00:15:45 Self-Forgiveness and Moving Forward from Regret 00:18:20 Brilliant or Bullshit: Is Empathy Overrated? 00:19:23 The Rise of Empathy in Gen Z and What It Means 00:22:14 When Empathy Blinds You: The Spotlight Effect 00:25:50 The George Floyd Effect: When Empathy Backfires 00:27:45 Cognitive vs. Emotional Empathy and Effective Altruism 00:33:02 How Netflix Manipulates Your Empathy for Serial Killers 00:37:15 Empathy's Proper Place: Small, Local, and Personal 00:38:43 AI and Creativity: What's the New Scarcity? 00:41:10 The Two Internets: Machine Internet vs. Human Internet 00:42:58 Why Magnus Carlsen Matters More Than Chess Software 00:44:39 Reddit, Live Events, and the Return to Human Connection 00:48:23 Using AI as a Tool, Not a Replacement 00:49:51 Wisdom of the Week: Regret for Wasted Time ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Today, we dive into the fascinating world of luck, risk, and how they shape our lives. We explore the delicate balance between playing it safe and taking chances, and why understanding this balance is crucial for personal growth. If you've ever wondered whether you're too cautious or not cautious enough, then strap in for this one. We dig into the psychology of luck, examining how our perceptions influence our outcomes, and why taking calculated risks can lead to outsized returns. We also tackle the tough question of how to cope with life's inevitable hardships. Hopefully this gives you a fresh perspective on risk-taking and a new appreciation for the role of chance in your life. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 The Tesla Disaster and the Doghouse 00:02:22 The Fuck of the Week: How Lucky Are You? 00:03:17 Luck Is Just Risk Management 00:05:21 The Four Ways to Create Your Own Luck 00:10:30 Counterfactual Thinking: It Could Always Be Worse 00:13:56 The Natural Fail Rate of Life 00:15:21 Poker and Thinking in Probabilities 00:17:44 Are We All Chicken Shits? The Risk Aversion Crisis 00:21:37 The Equilibrium of Risk: Fewer Risk-Takers, Bigger Rewards 00:24:54 How Mark Analyzes Risk: The Analytical and Qualitative Sides 00:27:25 The Most Important Question: What Do You Gain If You Fail? 00:30:04 Asymmetric Risk: When the Upside Crushes the Downside 00:32:23 Taking At-Bats: Why You Need to Try 100 Times 00:34:13 How Do You Accept That Life Will Always Hurt? 00:35:06 The Fail Rate of Being Human 00:40:10 The Two Arrows of Pain: Event vs. Meaning 00:41:38 Why Do Good Things Happen to Bad People? ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

You ever notice how some people can’t stand being told what to do—even when the advice is good? Yeah, that’s me. In this episode, Drew and I dig into why so many of us rebel against advice, why others chase it like their life depends on it, and whether all that “actionable advice” we’re constantly fed is actually helping anyone. Spoiler: I’m not a fan of cookie-cutter solutions, and I’ve got some opinions about the self-help industry’s obsession with telling people exactly what to do. We also get into the bigger picture—how advice often misses the mark when it’s not tailored to someone’s unique situation, and how therapy culture might be trying to replace something deeper that’s missing in our lives. I’ll share why I don’t give rigid life hacks, the trouble with universal solutions, and the surprising reason why most breakthroughs aren’t about the advice at all. If you’re tired of “do this, don’t do that” advice, this one’s for you. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Compulsive Contrarian 00:02:30 The Problem with Actionable Advice 00:04:09 Why One-Size-Fits-All Advice Fails 00:06:44 Bad to Okay vs. Good to Great 00:09:05 All Advice Is Autobiographical 00:13:16 The Boring Truth About What Actually Works 00:16:50 Self-Help as Entertainment and Hobby 00:20:12 Therapy vs. Therapy Culture 00:24:26 Why Therapy Doesn't Scale 00:29:05 The New Morality of Self-Fulfillment 00:31:55 The Pendulum: Self-Indulgence to Self-Denial 00:35:46 Taking Your Own Medicine 00:39:30 The Materialism Trap 00:41:53 Wisdom of the Week: Advice Like Snow ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Have you ever felt like there’s more to life than the daily grind, like your dreams are buried under all the obligations and expectations life throws at you? In this episode, we sit down with The Buried Life co-founder and New York Times bestselling author, Ben Nemtin, to explore why so many of us feel disconnected from our true purpose—and how to reclaim it. For Ben, it all started as a group of friends chasing wild bucket-list dreams and helping strangers achieve their dreams too. In the process, they discovered what it means to give yourself permission to dream and then make those dreams a reality. We dive deep into the psychology of fear, the power of accountability, and the surprising benefits of doing what you love—not just for yourself, but for everyone around you. We discuss why most people regret not living authentically, how to overcome the social and emotional barriers holding you back, and practical strategies for rediscovering your dreams, even if they’ve been buried for years. If you’re looking for inspiration to take that first small step toward a life that feels truly yours, this episode will get you there. Enjoy. Ben’s Stuff: The Bucket List Journal by Ben Nemtin: https://www.amazon.com/Bucket-List-Journal-Achieve-Fulfilling/dp/B09VX2LMY2 The Buried Life (TV Show): https://www.bennemtin.com/tv-show/ The Buried Life (Poem): https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43585/the-buried-life Ben’s Website: https://www.bennemtin.comBen’s TED Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6Y7mfxEaco Follow Ben: https://www.linkedin.com/in/bennemtin https://www.instagram.com/bennemtin https://twitter.com/BenNemtin https://www.facebook.com/Nemtin/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5l2kfhEEEXLm2HlRXRVzbw CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Buried Life Origin Story 00:03:17 The Two-Week Road Trip That Changed Everything 00:07:40 The Ripple Effect: When Doing What You Love Inspires Others 00:09:18 The Biggest Human Regret: Not Living Authentically 00:12:09 From Crazy MTV Stunts to Playing Basketball with Obama 00:18:53 Purpose Isn't One Thing: Following Feelings Over Logic 00:21:25 The Authentic Self Is a Moving Target 00:23:03 Recycling Careers and Relationships: Learning From Uncle Bill 00:25:40 Why Do We Feel So Buried? The Death Perspective 00:30:01 Depression and Living Out of Alignment 00:31:51 Happiness Is Moving Toward Your Potential 00:33:19 Step One: Write Down Your Dreams in 10 Life Categories 00:36:08 The Power of Accountability: How Ben Survived Depression 00:38:13 Building Accountability: Share, Ask for Help, Find Your Buddy 00:40:54 Getting Unstuck: Action Creates Inspiration, Not the Other Way Around 00:45:38 Fear Is Your Friend: Delineating Fear From Risk 00:47:50 The TEDx Talk That Failed (But Changed Everything) 00:48:26 Leveraging Emotion: Turning Pro and Following Your Internal Compass 00:50:56 When You Don't Know What You Want: Start With Experiments 00:52:57 The Ripple Effect of a Failed Clothing Line 00:55:55 The Homeless Shelter Story: The First Time They Helped Someone 00:57:37 The Bucket List Journal: A Roadmap to Your Authentic Life ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Life has a way of just kind of happening to you. And while exactly what happens is unique to each of us, we all seem to go through very similar stages of our lives. Today, we talk about the challenges of these stages. Each stage comes with its own “crisis” that, if navigated well, can propel us to the next stage. It is this never-ending struggle where life happens. And then… Drew gets all new age and Mark just isn’t having it. And we round it out with a very simple, yet very difficult question from a listener: How much is enough? Enjoy. The Four Stages of Life by Mark Manson:https://markmanson.net/four-stages-of-life The Art of the Interesting by Lorraine Besser: https://www.amazon.com/Art-Interesting-What-Pursuit-Cultivate/dp/1538743205 CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Tolerance Paradox 00:02:46 The Four Stages of Life Framework 00:04:21 Stage One: Mimicry and the Crisis of Identity 00:06:53 Stage Two: Exploration and the Novelty Trap 00:09:47 Peter Pan Syndrome and Extended Adolescence 00:10:51 Stage Three: Commitment and Deep Meaning 00:12:59 Stage Four: Legacy and Acceptance 00:15:55 The Pain of Transition Between Stages 00:22:46 Your Relationship With Time Completely Changes 00:25:05 Brilliant or Bullshit: Psychological Richness 00:29:57 The Diversified Happiness Portfolio Theory 00:36:58 How Much Is Enough? 00:41:03 When 'Never Enough' Becomes Your Superpower 00:43:10 Wisdom of the Week: Toni Morrison on Beauty ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Wouldn’t it be great if we dropped all the bullsh*t about modern dating? No more games. No more fake, flaky people. No more texting back and forth for weeks or even months only to find out you have zero chemistry when you meet up in person. No more f*cking bots and AI generated dating profiles… Sabrina Zohar definitely thinks we can skip all of it and get right down to the fun stuff (oh yeah, baby!). All it requires is brutal honesty with yourself and the people you’re interested in. So if you can stomach that, this episode is right up your alley. We ask Sabrina: What does your attachment style really tell you about how you should date? Are dating apps really that terrible, or can we change the way we use them to get better results? And do we have high standards, or are our expectations just too f*cking high And a whole lot more. We had a lot of fun in the studio with Sabrina. I hope you enjoy it too. About Sabrina Zohar Sabrina Zohar is the multi-faceted entrepreneur and media figure responsible for coaching hundreds of thousands of people to start doing the work to improve their dating life, their relationships with others–and more importantly: their relationships with themselves. Sabrina’s online presence shifted from talking about her sustainable clothing line, SoftWear, to sharing about her personal dating life. Sabrina’s message spread like wildfire, and the rest is history. Sabrina’s message has earned her features in NBC California live, The LA times, The Drew Barrymore show, Daily Mail, Newsweek, US Sun, Yahoo, MSN, and more. Sabrina is a multi-faceted force guiding individuals to success in the entrepreneurial space, fashion, podcasting and media, and of course, the intricate world of love and relationships. Sabrina’s website: https://www.sabrinazohar.com/ The Sabrina Zohar Show Podcast: https://www.sabrinazohar.com/podcast Follow Sabrina: https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar https://www.instagram.com/sabrina.zohar https://www.youtube.com/@Sabrina_zohar CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Meet Sabrina Zohar 00:00:56 From Fashion to Dating Advice: Sabrina's Origin Story 00:03:27 The Biggest Surprise: People Don't Know Their Own Power 00:04:22 Fuck of the Week: Attachment Styles 00:06:04 Breaking Down the Four Attachment Styles 00:08:39 The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy of Labels 00:10:45 Two Insecure People Can Heal Together 00:12:20 The Texting Boundary That Changed Everything 00:15:00 Stop Self-Identifying With Your Trauma 00:16:12 Dating Apps: Too Many Exits, Not Enough Effort 00:17:26 The Apps Aren't the Problem, You Are 00:20:38 Brilliant or Bullshit: Are Dating Apps Dying? 00:28:03 The Facsimile of Intimacy: Digital Relationships 00:33:17 Chat GPT Is Ruining Human Connection 00:35:00 The Fragility Epidemic: Ghosting and Emotional Safetyism 00:44:24 Audience Question: When Standards Are Too High 00:48:01 Expectations vs Non-Negotiables 00:50:15 The Fear of Communicating Needs 00:53:25 Rejection Is Redirection 00:54:14 Know What You Want: The Life You're Building 00:55:19 Wrap Up and Where to Find Sabrina ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Today, we’re diving deep into the subtle difference between a healthy routine and a rut. How can you tell if your daily grind is keeping you grounded… or just grinding you down? Next, we tackle the question of boredom: Why does it feel so unbearable, and could we actually be missing out on its hidden perks? Spoiler alert—boredom might just be the key to unlocking your most creative, inspired self. Finally, we confront one of life’s biggest dilemmas: When is it time to walk away, and when should you double down? Whether it’s a project that’s going nowhere or a relationship that feels like it’s on life support, we’ll give you insights on knowing when to quit and when to stick it out. Enjoy. Brilliant or Bullshit Paper: Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4330241/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Am I Becoming a Boring Person? 00:01:11 When Does a Routine Become a Rut? 00:02:53 The Alcohol Factor: Craving Novelty vs. Craving Stability 00:03:41 Fear vs. Optimization: Defining the Difference 00:04:22 The Immanuel Kant Paradox: Genius in Repetition 00:07:07 The Four Stages of Life: From Mimicry to Legacy 00:09:53 Marriage Problems and the Say Yes Strategy 00:13:54 The Seasonality of Chaos: Flipping the Card Green 00:16:44 Is It Brilliant or Bullshit: The Electric Shock Study 00:18:11 Why Boredom Is Actually Painful 00:24:18 Raw Dogging Flights: The New Machismo 00:26:25 Boredom as Competitive Advantage 00:27:44 Q and A: The Rules of Quitting—When to Quit and When to Grit 00:28:54 The Momentum Test: Is Your Rock Going Uphill or Downhill? 00:31:03 The Bukowski Exception: When Outliers Break the Rules 00:31:46 Creative Pursuits vs. Professional Pursuits: Different Equations 00:33:04 The Tim Ferriss Question: Where Does Failure Teach You Most? 00:35:01 Relationships and the Rock Going Downhill 00:37:14 Hard Work Redefined: When 12 Hours Feels Easier Than 4 00:39:25 The Grammy Winner Who Never Felt Burnt Out 00:42:04 Grit Only Works in the Right Direction 00:42:34 Wisdom of the Week: Escalators and the Art of Quitting ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

What are you called to do in life? What is your life’s task? And once you figure that out, how do you pursue it? The one and only Robert Greene sat down with us on the pod to talk about all of these questions and a whole more. We discuss finding and pursuing one’s life task, the nature and causes of “Peter Pan Syndrome”, science vs timeless wisdom on life, figuring out what do in midlife after you’ve taken the wrong path, and a much more. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Robert Greene in the Flesh 00:00:43 The Resurgence of The 48 Laws of Power 00:05:57 The Dark Side vs. The Real Robert 00:08:11 The Theatrical Nature of Social Life 00:09:22 Finding Your Life's Task: Robert's Journey 00:12:58 Reading the Signs: Positive and Negative Feedback 00:15:10 Persistence vs. Knowing When to Pivot 00:18:00 The Pain You Enjoy: Finding Your True Work 00:21:43 Reconnecting With Your Life's Task 00:25:25 The Five Forms of Intelligence 00:29:13 Brilliant or Bullshit: Peter Pan Syndrome 00:32:00 The Problem With Positive Masculinity 00:37:33 Too Much Talking, Not Enough Acting 00:38:23 Life as a Game: Get Out and Play 00:42:25 Listener Questions: Science vs. Timeless Wisdom 00:44:06 The Problem With Big Data and Algorithms 00:51:09 Starting Over at 35: Building From What You Have 00:57:00 The Midlife Crisis: Is This It? 01:00:37 Finding the Sublime: Robert's Next Book 01:03:26 Closing Thoughts and What's Next ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

It's hard enough to change, but why it is so hard to maintain that change too? How might psychedelics facilitate big changes in our lives? And how can young men find healthy role models in the modern world? In this week's pod, we cover my current struggles around keeping a healthy diet and lifestyle, how psychedelics might actually scramble your brain (in a good way), and why so many young men are struggling to find a place in the world today. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Men's Groups and the Weight Struggle 00:01:07 The Two Levels of Failure: Emotion vs. Narrative 00:02:33 Mark's Personal Weight Journey: Five Years and 60 Pounds 00:03:43 The Training Wheels Come Off: Old Habits Creeping Back 00:05:29 Food Addiction: The One Area That Won't Quit 00:07:13 Relapses Are Part of Recovery: Brandon Novak and the Process 00:13:20 Brilliance or Bullshit: Psychedelics and Brain Rewiring 00:15:32 Neuroplasticity and the Promise of Psychedelics 00:18:12 Psychedelics as Tools: Set, Setting, and Intention Matter 00:22:04 The Dark Side: When Psychedelics Make You Believe Everything 00:24:33 Audience Question: Growing Up Without a Father Figure 00:26:01 The Male Role: Be Useful and Add Value 00:28:08 Men Are Disposable: Make Yourself Indispensable 00:29:54 The Absent Father Crisis and Its Consequences 00:33:26 Finding Role Models Online: Navigating the Manosphere 00:34:55 The Andrew Tate Test: Turn Off the Sound and Watch Their Face 00:37:26 Wisdom of the Week: The Buddha on Self-Conquest 00:37:39 Closing Thoughts and How to Reach the Show ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Why can’t we just do the things we know we should do? It’s a simple question with a very complex answer. To help us answer it, I sat down with my old friend, Nir Eyal, a behavioral design expert and author of the best-selling book, Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. I love Nir’s approach because he doesn’t linger on the surface of the problem of distraction by hocking the latest app or hack or fancy new time management method. Instead, he dives right into the thorny emotional realities we all face in trying to lead productive, meaningful lives. In this episode, we talk about what it means to be “indistractable” and how it’s probably the most important skill of the 21st century. We also get Nir’s take on the role of social media in our lives (his views on this might surprise you). And finally, he answers that timeless question: Why don’t we just do what we know we should do? Enjoy. About Nir Eyal Nir Eyal writes, consults, and teaches about the intersection of psychology, technology, and business. Nir previously taught as a Lecturer in Marketing at the Stanford Graduate School of Business and the Hasso Plattner Institute of Design at Stanford. He is the author of two bestselling books, Hooked: How to Build Habit-Forming Products, and Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life. His books have resonated with readers worldwide, selling over 1 million copies in over 30 languages. Nir’s book, Indistractable: http://geni.us/indistractable Nir on time boxing: https://www.nirandfar.com/timeboxing/ Nir on values: https://www.nirandfar.com/common-values/ Nir’s free schedule maker: https://www.nirandfar.com/schedule-maker/ More articles by Nir: https://www.nirandfar.com/best-articles/ CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Writing Partnership That Solved Distraction 00:02:32 What Is Indistractable? The Skill of the Century 00:05:32 Traction vs. Distraction: The Power of Intent 00:08:41 Internal Triggers: The Real Source of 90% of Distractions 00:10:24 Self-Awareness and the Path to Mastering Internal Triggers 00:12:22 Everything You Do Is About Escaping Discomfort 00:14:18 Why We Can't Sit Still: The Evolutionary Purpose of Boredom 00:16:10 The Goldilocks Zone of Pain and the Recipe for Burnout 00:18:27 Make Time for Traction: Why You Can't Call Something a Distraction 00:19:56 Time Boxing vs. To-Do Lists: The Productivity Debate 00:22:00 Brilliant or Bullshit: The Social Dilemma Documentary 00:22:58 The Social Media Debate: It's All Media, Not Just Social Media 00:29:47 The Three Psychological Nutrients Kids Are Missing 00:32:01 The Real Culprits: Standardized Testing, Hyper-Scheduling, and Lost Play 00:34:14 Video Games as Protection and the Myth of Stranger Danger 00:38:19 Legacy Media vs. New Media: Who's Really Causing Division? 00:42:37 Audience Question: How Do I Do What I Know I Should Do? 00:43:43 The Four Strategies in Action: From Internal Triggers to Pacts 00:45:06 The Right Metric of Success: Did I Work Without Distraction? 00:47:05 Mark's Struggle: Time Boxing vs. Word Count Goals 00:49:34 Be a Scientist, Not a Drill Sergeant: Flexibility in Time Boxing 00:52:14 Productivity Is Personal: Finding Your Optimal Tools 00:53:43 The Problem with Habits and Flow: Not Everything Can Be Easy 00:56:37 The 10-Minute Rule: Surfing the Urge to Distraction 00:59:03 Wisdom of the Week: The Cure for Boredom and Repeated Mistakes Follow Nir on social media: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nireyal/ https://www.youtube.com/user/nirandfar https://twitter.com/nireyal https://www.facebook.com/nirandfar/ http://instagram.com/neyal99 ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

How many f*cks should we give about politics? What’s driving the widening ideological gap between young men and women? And is the world truly and utterly f*cked beyond all recognition? In this episode, we talk politics without really talking politics. We cover how to stay up-to-date on current events without going insane, what history can teach us about the present, the real downside to TikTok’s invasion of—well, everything—and why there is still reason to hold out hope, even when it seems like the world is going straight to hell. Check it out. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Election Fatigue and the Fuck of the Week 00:02:08 Why the Person Matters Less Than the Party 00:05:39 The Local vs. Global Problem: Where Your Attention Should Go 00:08:17 Bad News Finds You, Good News Requires Effort 00:11:43 The Marketing Machine Behind Political Narratives 00:15:25 Brilliant or Bullshit: The Gender Political Divide 00:17:14 TikTok's For You Feed and the Psychograph Revolution 00:25:41 The Service Economy and the End of Men 00:30:33 Political Polarization as the New Bigotry 00:33:04 Q&A: Are We Numb to Tragedy? 00:35:12 Why News Makes You Less Informed 00:37:19 Read History, Not Headlines: The Pandemic Example 00:41:34 News Recommendations and Finding Apolitical Sources 00:47:04 Wisdom of the Week: Nothing Is New Under the Sun ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Cutting off bad or toxic parents is all the rage in some pockets of the internet these days—but have we lowered the bar a little too much for what makes a parent “toxic”? How can we navigate and own up to the hard conversations we need to have with the people closest to us? And is there a silver lining for putting up with family members who drive us absolutely f*cking insane? Join us on today’s pod as we get a little squirmy in our chairs while we tackle these issues. Drew squashes some beefs, Mark sniffs out some of the bullshit around cutting people off, and we answer one of your questions about dealing with those crazy people you just can’t get away from: your family. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Art of Difficult Conversations 00:01:36 The Sibling Beef: When Shared History Divides 00:03:42 Different Childhoods Under the Same Roof 00:06:17 The Go First Principle: How to Start Hard Conversations 00:09:14 When Speaking Up Makes Things Worse 00:10:46 The Strategic Value of Picking Fights When You're Young 00:13:35 Building Trust Through Confrontation 00:14:29 Family Versus Friends: Why Stakes Change Everything 00:16:19 The Intimacy-Conflict Paradox 00:18:03 The Addiction to Confrontation 00:21:08 Brilliant or Bullshit: Cutting Off Your Parents 00:22:50 The Last Resort Standard: When to Actually Cut Contact 00:23:49 Managing Exposure: The Middle Ground Nobody Talks About 00:26:23 Concept Creep: When Everyone's a Narcissist 00:29:50 The Value of Friction: What We Lost by Living Apart 00:31:13 The Cutting Off Epidemic: Friends, Not Just Family 00:32:27 When Annoying Becomes Friendship 00:34:18 Toxic Versus a Toxic Moment 00:36:42 Reader Question: Breaking Free Without Abandoning Family 00:37:38 You Can't Save Your Family 00:46:43 The Fantasy of Being the Savior 00:40:53 When Success Makes You the Enemy 00:43:27 The Threat to Identity 00:45:03 Dealing with Familial Guilt 00:49:47 The Small Town Mentality: Don't Get Too Big 00:53:14 Wisdom of the Week: Tolstoy on Unhappy Families ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

The quality of your life often comes down to the quality of the relationships you have. That’s why we’re giving a huge f*ck about friendship this week. While the benefits of having good friends are pretty obvious, the cost of maintaining friendships is often overlooked by a lot of people. We dive into that, plus some advice on when you should and shouldn’t cut off people in your life, and how friends and romantic partners really impact our happiness. Check it out. Here’s the paper we discuss:People perceive parasocial relationships to be effective at fulfilling emotional needs CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Mark’s Halloween Costume 00:01:34 The F*ck of the Week: How to Be a Better Friend 00:20:48 Brilliant or Bullsh*t: Cutting Off Parents, Family, or Friends 00:36:01 Q&A: Can You Be Happy Without Close Friends? Romantic Partners? ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme Song: Icarus Lives by @Periphery , used with permission from Periphery.

Are you addicted to self-improvement? Are experts really any better than the rest of us at knowing how to make positive changes in our lives? What are some common pieces of life advice that just don't seem to work? Drew and I tackle all of these questions today in our brand new, updated format for the pod. Find out why self-help can turn into pseudo-religion (and why we should bring back exorcisms), whether or not a huge mega-study by a bunch of fancy experts can tell us anything about behavioral change, and some common self-improvement tropes that just don't do it for us. Here's the study we discuss: Megastudies improve the impact of appliedbehavioural science Let us know what you think of the new show format in the comments below. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 New show format 00:03:15 The F*ck of the Week: When self-improvement turns into addiction (or a cult) 00:17:06 Brilliant or Bullshit? Do experts actually know what they're talking about? 00:31:13 Your Questions Answered: Life advice that doesn't work? ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Theme song is "Icarus Lives" by Periphery.

Steven Pressfield was 52 years old when he published his first hit novel, The Legend of Bagger Vance. Prior to that, he wrote tirelessly for decades in obscurity, supporting himself with odd jobs along the way. After writing several more novels and movie scripts, he distilled all of his wisdom into The War of Art, his now-famous treatise on the grinding process of creativity. Now in his 80s, Steven looks back on his work and life with a clear-eyed view of what it truly means to make it as a creative professional. In this episode, he explains why he persisted writing for decades with little to show for it, how he compensated for his own lack of talent, why creating great art is actually a grueling war fought within the artist’s own mind, and much, much more. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:13 Persisting at writing... for decades 00:06:40 The Resistance 00:14:23 Patience when facing The Resistance 00:22:12 Is The Resistance actually a good thing? 00:26:52 Turning Pro 00:32:22 How much do hard work, skill, and talent matter? 00:40:48 Does great art require suffering? 00:44:57 How Steven's military experience influences his work 00:49:52 Honoring your muse 00:56:04 What writers can learn from advertising 00:58:08 The Daily Pressfield ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

We often think self-discipline requires massive action and a lot of pain and sacrifice—but the reality is a lot more boring. Today, we tackle some common misconceptions about self-discipline, arguing that real change comes from setting up your environment for success, not grinding through endless struggle. We explore the hidden dangers of romanticizing pain and why true self-discipline is more about boring consistency than epic feats of endurance. Hopefully, this episode challenges you to rethink how you approach your goals and habits. If you're ready to stop punishing yourself and start seeing real, lasting change, you won’t want to miss this. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:11 Self-discipline is not the same as willpower 00:09:45 Self-discipline does not involve shaming yourself 00:15:39 Self-discipline is about self correction, not perfection" 00:22:16 Self-discipline is boring 00:29:18 Self-discipline involves forging new identities" ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

It’s bonus episode time! Today, I’m doing a Q&A with questions you’ve all submitted. We dive into how I’ve changed my mind, bad habits, regrets, dead dreams, advice to young people, meditation, and a whole lot more. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Tackling 1,200 Unanswered Questions 00:00:29 What I've Changed My Mind About: The Prevalence Inflation Hypothesis 00:02:35 Breaking Bad Habits: The Dark Valley Between Days 5 and 25 00:05:29 Dealing With Fame and Follower Counts 00:05:58 Biggest Regrets: Health, Relationships, and Being a Dick in Your 20s 00:08:08 Positive Thinking vs. Realistic Thinking: Clearing Up the Paradox 00:10:47 Parental Emotional Immaturity and Its Massive Effects 00:12:08 Relationship Advice: Marriage Is Underrated and Dating Culture Is Getting Worse 00:15:19 Would You Change Your Books? Subtle Art and Everything Is F*cked Reflections 00:16:21 Do You Still Want to Be a Rock Star? When Old Dreams Die 00:17:09 Free Will, David Goggins, and Measuring Success After Financial Freedom 00:20:40 Why the Hair? Premature Hair Envy Explained 00:21:36 Handling Grief: Losing a Brother to Depression and Addiction 00:23:40 What Do You Think About the Universe? A Cosmic Rant 00:26:41 Sexual Experience, Relationship Readiness, and Playing the Long Game 00:29:38 Advice for Teenagers: More Face-to-Face Socializing 00:30:57 Dealing With Adversity: When to Persist and When to Give Up 00:34:06 Moving On From a 24-Year Relationship and the BetterHelp Controversy 00:37:53 Meditation, Christianity, and the Best Business Advice: Be the Goose 00:40:09 Hustle Culture: It's a Skill, Not a Lifestyle 00:43:05 Living With ADHD: Caffeine, Meditation, and Doing Two Things at Once 00:46:45 Edgelord Maximus: A Gladiator-Style Sign-Off ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

How do you find your way in a world where even when you do everything right, the odds keep getting stacked against you? My guest today, Cady Coleman, shares how she navigated the male-dominated fields of science, the Air Force, and NASA, breaking down barriers with tenacity and grace. From her time on the International Space Station to the release of her first book, Sharing Space, Cady’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of mission, adaptability, and the unwavering belief in one’s potential, even when the world around you says otherwise. Check it out. Cady’s Book, Sharing Space: https://www.amazon.com/Sharing-Space-Astronauts-Mission-Wonder/dp/0593494016 CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:46 Becoming an astronaut 00:05:56 Spacewalking 00:11:22 On being underestimated 00:14:28 Life's missions, big and small 00:16:19 Life on the International Space Station 00:22:18 A new way of looking at the world 00:29:41 Do astronauts feel more connected to the world? 00:32:43 How do you live in space with other people? 00:41:28 Coming back down 00:51:51 The state of the space program ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

We all wish we gave fewer f*cks in our lives, but wanting to and doing it are two different things. If you've read my book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, then you know that not giving a f*ck doesn't mean you don't care about anything—it means deliberately choosing what you give a f*ck about and ignore the rest. In this episode, we dive into the realities of not giving f*ck, the good and the bad. We talk about why there will never be a time when you're completely free from judgement by others. Why being "normal"—whatever that means—is not something to aspire to, nor is wanting to be liked by everyone. How criticism is a part of life you can't escape—but not all criticism is created equal. And a whole lot more. Check it out. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Mark goes to Europe and previews upcoming videos 00:05:10 If you wouldn't ask them for advice, then f*ck their criticism. 00:13:20 People will judge your for whatever you do or don't do. F*ck the people, do the thing. 00:22:55 To be liked by all is to be loved by none. 00:28:44 F*ck being normal. 00:37:30 Your vanity and anxiety are both liars. 00:42:42 You must give a f*ck about something more than the adversity you face. ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Brandon Novak showed all the signs of becoming a highly successful, rebellious young man. He was a professional skateboarder in his early teens, rubbing elbows with the likes of Bucky Lasek and Tony Hawk. In his late teens and twenties, he was a regular on world-famous TV shows like Viva La Bam and Jackass. But drugs and alcohol were always lurking in the shadows for Novak, and he soon fell head-first into the dark trap of his addictions. He endured bouts of homelessness, committed every petty crime you could imagine, and even resorted to sex work to feed his addictions. The stats would suggest Brandon Novak shouldn’t be sober right now. He probably shouldn’t even be alive. But not only is he alive with 9 years of sobriety under his belt, he’s found a deep and meaningful purpose in his life, running his own rehab centers and taking care of his elderly mother. This is the hilarious and heartening story of how Brandon Novak turned it all around. And trust me, if he can do it, so can anyone else. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:05:25 What is it like reliving crazy stories? 00:07:46 What's your new definition of fun? 00:22:32 Brandon's early life 00:28:22 When did drugs really become a problem? 00:34:23 Why did rehab #13 work? 00:42:57 How can people help addicts? 00:44:31 Christopher F*cking Columbus of finding rock bottom 00:46:03 The fundamental unhealthy mindsets 00:52:31 Reflection on Jackass 00:56:48 Why Jackass couldn't be made today 01:00:46 Are addicts just trying to get the love they want? 01:06:26 Brandon's treatment centers 01:12:10 What people did for Novak along the way 01:14:13 What do you give too many fucks about? 01:17:26 What do you give too few fucks about? ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

There are certain areas in life where trying harder only makes things worse. Trying to prove how likable and confident you are only makes you feel more unlikable and less confident. Trying to make someone love you only makes you feel more unlovable. The solution to this conundrum is what’s known as “The Backwards Law”. Simply put, The Backwards law states that desiring a positive experience is itself a negative experience, while accepting a negative experience is a positive experience. In this episode, Drew and I talk about five areas of life where doing less can actually reap massive benefits. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 The Backwards Law: When Trying Makes Things Worse 00:02:00 Three Curves: How Effort and Reward Actually Work 00:06:02 Emotions: The Anxiety About Your Anxiety 00:10:15 Freedom: Why Commitment Sets You Free 00:11:08 Depth vs. Breadth: The Two Types of Freedom 00:19:07 Happiness Requires Struggle: Why Comfort Doesn't Work 00:23:37 Love: When It Becomes Dangerous 00:29:30 Respect: The Foundation of All Healthy Relationships 00:32:43 What Respect Actually Means: Time, Attention, and Equality 00:35:40 Why Internal States Don't Follow External Rules ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Is everything going to hell in a handcart because of smartphones and social media? In this episode, I sit down with NYU professor and bestselling author Jonathan Haidt to tackle this burning question. Dr. Haidt makes a compelling case that our addiction to these devices is wreaking havoc on society, from mental health crises to political turmoil. But is it really all the smartphone’s fault? I'm not so sure it's quite that simple, so I wanted to dive deeper into the nuances. We get into the nitty-gritty and I challenge some of Haidt’s claims, exploring questions like, why do these issues seem to hit the English-speaking world the hardest? Is this another moral panic, or is this time really different? We also discuss the differences in how smartphones affect various demographics and cultures, and why understanding these distinctions is crucial. Plus, we explore Jonathan’s practical and highly sensible recommendations for parents, educators, and policymakers. Whether you’re a skeptic or a die-hard believer, this episode will make you rethink your relationship with the technology in our pockets. Let's do this. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Is It All the Smartphone's Fault? 00:04:00 The Great Rewiring of Childhood (2010-2015) 00:08:07 Why This Isn't Just Another Moral Panic 00:20:15 The Psychological Importance of Play 00:22:54 Educational Development vs. Psychological Development 00:25:48 Why Girls and Boys Are Affected Differently 00:27:59 Politics, Religion, and Who Gets Hit Hardest 00:31:31 The Moral Foundations Theory Connection 00:40:52 Why the Anglosphere Is Suffering Most 00:45:14 The Global Destruction of Human Capital 00:59:19 From Social Networks to Attention Slot Machines 01:05:09 TikTok and the Short-Form Video Catastrophe 00:51:47 Cigarettes vs. Alcohol: What Kind of Problem Is This? 00:53:56 The Case for Warning Labels and Age Gating 01:09:45 Prescription 1: No Phones in Schools 01:12:10 Prescription 2: No Social Media Before 16 01:16:20 Prescription 3: No Smartphones Before High School 01:19:03 Prescription 4: More Outdoor Play and Independence 01:22:00 Overcoming Community Judgment and Policy Solutions 01:25:29 The Path Forward: Identity Authentication and Collective Action ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Over the past 5 years, I’ve completely changed my relationship to my health. Prior to that, I was overweight, pre-diabetic, and having chest pains in my mid-30s. I thought maybe eating a salad once a week and going for a run every now then would take care of it. I was wrong. Since then, I’ve lost 60 pounds (~30kg). I now enjoy exercising regularly and I eat healthy and nutritious foods. My daily life is much more physically active and I get way better sleep. I’m happy with my health now—but it took a long time to get here. I’m not going to share a bunch of workout routines or complicated diets. What worked for me might not work for you. But I can share what I went through to get here in the hopes that you, too, might change how you think about your health and take it more seriously. Because at the end of the day, your health is definitely something you should give a f*ck about. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The 60-Pound Journey and Why I'm Sharing This 00:02:40 Growing Up on the Standard American Diet 00:04:04 The Metabolism Crash: Gaining 50 Pounds in My Mid-30s 00:05:12 Chest Pains and the Doctor's Warning: You're a Ticking Time Bomb 00:06:55 Phase One: The Classic Approach and the First Plateau 00:08:45 The Delusion Problem: Why I Kept Lying to Myself 00:13:03 Hiring a Coach and the Game-Changing Power of Tracking 00:17:58 The Devastating Rebound: Gaining It All Back 00:20:32 Environment Is Everything: The Move to LA 00:25:53 The Genetic Revelation: You're Metabolically 60 Years Old 00:31:07 Breaking Through Plateaus: The Role of Coaching and Perspective 00:33:40 The Privilege Problem: Let's Talk About Access and Cost 00:34:37 Genetics, Sympathy, and the Addiction Parallel 00:38:47 The Virtuous Cycle: Optimizing for Longevity in My 40s 00:40:40 The Real Takeaway: It's About Habits, Lifestyle, Biology, and Psychology ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Drew Binsky is a fearless traveler who's seen it all. From chatting with North Koreans in their homeland to dodging bombings in Somalia and volunteering in Syria in the middle of a civil war, Drew's adventures are nothing short of incredible. He's been to every country in the world, witnessing the most dangerous places and surviving a few close calls. Yet, his experiences have led him to a surprising conclusion: most people, most of the time, are good. Even in the direst circumstances, Drew finds that human resilience can prevail. In our conversation, Drew shares why he's drawn to war zones and failed states, revealing the profound lessons he's learned from them. We discuss why you should never judge a country by the news you hear about it, how the most impactful trips are often the most challenging, and where to find the friendliest people on Earth. Drew also offers his top travel tips on spontaneity, connecting with locals, and what he looks for on his travel adventures. It's a deep dive into the heart of travel and human nature that might just inspire you to see the world a little differently. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Man Who Visited Every Country 00:02:23 What's Actually Universal Across All Cultures 00:06:06 Inside North Korea: Tennis Invitations and Empty Hotels 00:09:06 How to Stay Safe in Dangerous Places 00:13:13 Syria During the War: Volunteering Among the Rubble 00:16:11 The Media Disconnect: Afghanistan, Iran, and Misunderstood Places 00:18:26 El Salvador, Brazil's Favelas, and the Safety Paradox 00:21:27 Living Abroad: The Best Education You Can Get 00:25:13 India: The Most Transformative Trip 00:27:14 The Extremes of India: Beauty and Horror on the Same Street 00:29:44 The Adrenaline Gene: Why Drew Doesn't Feel Fear 00:30:44 Mogadishu: The Most Dangerous City in the World 00:32:43 Mark's Close Call in Cartagena 00:37:21 Overrated or Underrated: Government, Culture, and War 00:43:45 The Best and Worst Thing About Every Country 00:41:18 Family Culture: The American Independence Paradox 00:47:40 The Quality of Information Crisis 00:50:39 What's Next and Finding Your Golf 00:55:56 Final Thoughts: The Value of Underserved Stories ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

A lot of people treat goals like some kind of sacred self-improvement law, where the most important thing you can do is set and achieve your goals. But goals are simply tools we use to point us in the right direction. Your goals should serve you—and so you shouldn’t be a slave to some arbitrary goal you set when it’s no longer serving you. So how do you know when a goal is no longer pushing you in the right direction? In this episode, I talk about why I gave up a pretty big goal I set at the beginning of the year. I discuss what I think are the criteria you should use when deciding whether to give up on a goal or stick it out. We also discuss what we learned from the goals survey we did for podcast viewers and listeners. How many stuck with their goals and how many have moved on? What are the most effective tactics people used to stick to their goals? What are the most important lessons they learned about their goals and themselves? Check it out. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:13 Mark's (failed) goal 00:05:11 Is Mark full of sh*t? 00:08:14 Drew's (half sucessful) goal 00:12:08 Extreme measures 00:14:08 Getting more specific with your goals 00:16:40 Survey results 00:18:55 Teachable moment: Selection bias 00:23:06 How did people stick with their goals? 00:24:49 The value of self-discovery in working towards goals 00:32:57 3 good reasons to give up on a goal 00:37:00 Bonus reason to give up a goal 00:39:34 Mark's new health goals 00:41:53 Drew's updated goals ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

After a catastrophic parachuting accident ended his military career in the British special forces, Dean Stott couldn't just retire to a quiet life. Instead, he decided to shatter boundaries in entirely new fields. These days, when Dean isn't prepping to beat another world record, like a 14,000-mile bike ride in less than 100 days, he's jet-setting around the world rescuing civilians and diplomats alike from war zones. In this episode, Dean shares his unique approach to overcoming adversity, managing risk, and staying mentally tough in the most challenging situations. We explore his fascinating experiences from war-torn countries to royal security and the psychological benefits of meticulous planning and mission-driven thinking. Dean also offers a glimpse into how he balances extreme challenges with a grounded personal life. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Baddest Motherfucker I've Ever Met 00:03:40 Dean's Relationship to Pain and the Parachuting Incident 00:08:04 Breaking the Pan-American Highway World Record 00:12:18 Mortality, Risk, and Making Smart Decisions 00:16:18 The Canadian Embassy Evacuation and Understanding Local Cultures 00:20:01 Building Trust in Dangerous Places 00:22:17 Choosing the Harder Path and Becoming SBS 00:25:47 What the Military Teaches That Civilians Miss 00:30:53 Preparation, Perfectionism, and OCD 00:33:24 Dealing With Extremes and Training Two Up 00:37:57 The Power of Non-Judgment and Making Friends Anywhere 00:39:46 Alana: Partnership, Purpose, and Power Couple Dynamics 00:46:56 The Duty to Give Back and How to Ask for Money 00:48:03 Meeting Prince Harry and Fox Piss One 00:52:31 The Skill of Being Famous and the Burden of Duty 00:59:02 Toughest Forces on Earth and Still Got It 01:02:51 Ocean Rowing the West Coast and Taking Alana Out of Her Comfort Zone ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Have you ever wondered why, despite everything seemingly going well, you still feel a nagging sense of dissatisfaction? Well, you’re not alone. This is actually a fascinating psychological phenomenon I call "The Blue Dot Effect". It’s all about how our brains can trick us into seeing problems and negativity even when everything around us is getting better. Join me and Drew as we unpack this curious effect and explore how it impacts our everyday lives. From the way we perceive our personal achievements to our overall happiness, the Blue Dot Effect plays a sneaky role in shaping our mindset. Let's dig right in. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Why This Research Changes Everything 00:02:08 The Blue Dot Effect: The Original Study Explained 00:04:56 Why Your Mind Invents Problems When Life Gets Better 00:07:25 Crime, Safety, and the Paradox of Progress 00:08:46 The Media Negativity Bias and Information Overload 00:09:35 Living in New Zealand: When There's Nothing to Protest 00:11:58 The Psychological Immune System and Problem Homeostasis 00:13:51 Why We Need People Who've Seen Real Hardship 00:16:18 How the Internet Compresses the Blue Dot Effect 00:17:05 The Information Diet: Why Consuming Less News Makes You More Objective 00:19:41 Economic Perception vs Reality: Why Nobody's Happy Despite Growth 00:21:28 Personal Health and Fitness: Moving the Goalposts on Yourself 00:23:59 When Self-Improvement Becomes the Problem 00:28:36 Mental Health Diagnosis: ADHD, Trauma, and Definition Creep 00:32:17 The Value of Journaling: Creating a Reality Check Against Concept Drift 00:34:50 Reading History Instead of News: The Ultimate Perspective Shift 00:35:57 Progress Tends to Mask Itself: Dan Gilbert's Final Word ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

I’ve often wondered if self-discipline is just a way of turning bad addictions into healthy ones. After all, addictions of all kinds are really just an attempt to numb and distract ourselves from facing uncomfortable feelings. Can’t the same be said for healthy behaviors once they reach a level of compulsion? I brought Rich Roll on the pod to discuss this idea because, well, he’s a recovered alcoholic who turned into an ultra-endurance athlete in his 40s. Rich is no stranger to reinventing himself, repeatedly leveraging his flaws into virtues. We talk about the value of pain as a catalyst for change, the idea that addiction is a spectrum that doesn’t just involve substances, terrible breakups, finding a deeper spirituality, lessons from Rich’s financial struggles, his career running a top podcast, and much, much more. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Is Self-Discipline Just Healthy Addiction? 00:04:23 The Connection Between Addiction and Ultra-Endurance 00:08:49 Pain as Teacher: Confronting Discomfort 00:21:24 What We're Most Addicted To Right Now 00:13:14 When Willingness Finally Arrives: Rich's Rock Bottom 00:29:07 Why the 12-Step Program Works After 100 Years 00:39:38 The Wedding That Nearly Destroyed Him 00:46:36 Spirituality Without Religion: Defining the Mystical Beyond 00:50:55 The Physical as Vehicle for the Spiritual 01:05:53 Seven Years of Financial Hell: Trash Cans, Repo Men, and Faith 01:15:51 Starting a Podcast in a Yurt: The Origin Story 01:22:01 The Power of Vulnerability: Why Sharing Shame Sets You Free 01:26:42 What Rich Gives Too Many, Too Few, and Just the Right Amount of Fucks About ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

The way you think about the world and your place in it can have a huge impact on your life. And yet, when it comes to evaluating the way we think, we’re rarely able to smell our own bullshit. So today, Drew and I break down five different mindsets you can adopt to live a more examined, successful life. This requires you to reject many of the mindless beliefs you’ve been force fed your entire life. Let’s do it. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Success Hack Problem 00:01:22 Find the Pain You Enjoy 00:04:14 Ass Power and the Dogs That Don't Quit 00:05:57 Mark's Cross Country Disaster: An Obliviousness Advantage 00:09:16 Focus on What You Can Control and Ignore What You Can't 00:14:09 Media Consumption, Bad Netflix Shows, and Personal Responsibility 00:16:13 Can You Choose Who You Love? 00:20:21 Turn Off the Autopilot 00:24:21 The Costanza Theorem: Do the Opposite 00:26:42 Adopt a 10X Mindset 00:30:20 10X in Relationships: Don't Run Your Love Life Like a Business 00:34:35 Focus on Fewer Things for Longer Periods of Time 00:42:31 Wrap-Up: Still Not Successful ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Let's be honest: the modern dating landscape is a shit show. From declining marriage rates and rising infidelity to the nightmare of using dating apps—it's brutal out there. With all these supposedly "easy" ways to meet new people, why are the people who want long-term, stable relationships so fed up with the dating world? I invited dating and relationships coach Sadia Khan on the pod to discuss how the skills we use to excel in modern dating often sabotage long-term happiness. Sadia brings a refreshing, thought-provoking perspective to the conversation that will help you navigate the complexities of today's dating world. We dive into the role of self-esteem in successful relationships, the pitfalls of modern dating advice, and the skewed expectations shaped by social media, dating apps, and pornography. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: When Dating Advice Became a Dumpster Fire 00:04:36 Modern Dating Is Training You for Divorce 00:05:33 Social Media, Porn, and the Extrinsic Values Trap 00:10:42 Why Dating Apps Prime You for the Wrong Things 00:17:46 The Humanization Problem: When Men See Women as Vaginas 00:14:20 Why Opposite-Gender Friendships Are Essential 00:28:12 The Glory Hole Revelation and Male Impulse Slavery 00:29:47 Sexual Arousal vs. Real Life: Separating the Realms 00:22:54 When Men Get Stuck at 16: Status, Insecurity, and the 19-Year-Old Trap 00:24:16 Beauty vs. Sexual Attractiveness: The Distinction Men Miss 00:37:49 The Worst Women's Dating Advice: The Narcissism Epidemic 00:40:10 Why Women's Dating Advice Overprotects Feelings 00:41:23 The Instagram Picture Double Standard 00:43:00 The Curse of High Expectations and Unrealistic Checklists 00:45:41 Settling Isn't Failure: It's Where Intimacy Lives 00:47:18 Self-Esteem and Love: Why Low Self-Esteem Ruins Both Giving and Receiving 00:48:53 How to Know You Have Relationship Self-Esteem 00:50:22 Peace vs. Denial: Earning Stability Through Difficult Conversations 00:51:11 Boundaries: Instructions for Love, Not Ultimatums 00:56:05 Learning Each Other: The Joy of Long-Term Intimacy 00:57:15 Deprioritize Sex: The Message Young Men Need to Hear 01:00:05 Charisma, Insecurity, and the 55-Year-Old with the Escort ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

So many people seem to be obsessed with feeling good all the time. They’re always looking for “hacks” to an easier, happier life. But what if the easy way actually makes it harder to have a life full of meaning and purpose? Today, Drew and I take on the ugly truths that give life its beauty. Some of these might be a little hard to stomach at first. But if you see them through, you might be surprised at what’s on the other side. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Beauty Is Pain: The French Philosophy of Suffering 00:01:22 Choose Your Suffering: The Path to Meaning 00:03:42 The Columbia Protest Paradox: When You Don't Realize What You Chose 00:05:26 The Price of Being Public: Criticism, Hate, and Thick Skin 00:12:13 Post-Traumatic Growth: The Research Nobody Talks About 00:15:16 Maya Angelou's Pencil: Channeling Trauma Into Greatness 00:18:32 Evil People Don't Think They're Evil: The David Foster Wallace Insight 00:22:14 The Manosphere Trap: When Self-Help Becomes a Black Hole 00:24:21 Death Casts the Shadow: Why Mortality Gives Life Meaning 00:33:57 The Sailboat That Never Sailed: Don't Wait for Someday 00:35:48 You Do Not Exist: The Buddhist Concept of No-Self 00:39:54 I Am Avoidant vs. I Feel Avoidant: The Language That Changes Everything ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

In an era where “quiet quitting” and “self-care” obsessions seem to be all the rage, there’s a huge opportunity to set yourself apart from everyone else—and it’s not as hard as you might think. Codie Sanchez set herself apart by buying “boring businesses” and turning her venture into a multi-million dollar enterprise. But for Codie, it’s about so much more than the money. Her simple mantra is, “question everything”, and it has given her a unique perspective on life, relationships, and happiness, which we explore here in this week’s pod. This was a fun interview, check it out. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Best Time in History to Be a High Performer 00:04:04 Why Cody Started Writing and the Trojan Horse of Money 00:07:25 Leaving Everything on the Field: What Drives High Performers 00:09:22 The Drawbacks of Drive and Finding What's Worth Pursuing 00:13:12 From the Border to Goldman Sachs: Money as the Great Equalizer 00:15:14 Learning the Language of Money and Going Direct to People 00:17:37 Mark's Journey: Loving the Scrappy Struggle 00:20:25 The Hedonic Treadmill and Playing the Game You Love 00:21:37 When Did We Decide Work Couldn't Be Fun? 00:25:12 The Work Hours Myth and Redefining Overwork 00:26:50 The Prevalence Inflation Effect: When Mental Health Awareness Backfires 00:29:15 Why Now Is the Golden Age for Performers 00:31:02 Why Aren't There More Women in Business Leadership? 00:33:17 The Wing, Pink Rooms, and Crochet: Where Women's Business Went Wrong 00:35:23 Business Creators vs Beauty Creators: The Audience Size Gap 00:37:23 The Great Gender Divergence: When Audiences Split 00:39:56 Why Social Media Kills Nuance and What We Can Do About It 00:41:49 The Anti-Trigger Experiment: Choosing Not to Be Emotionally Hijacked 00:44:42 Picking Your Battles and Avoiding Clickbait Temptation 00:45:50 The Boring Business Cycle: From Mockery to Meme 00:47:27 Economic Hardship and the Make Money Space Boom 00:48:20 Caring What Smart People Think and the Resume of Failures 00:51:18 The Irony of Big Opportunities and Trouble Delegating ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

A week ago, we hit 2M subs on YouTube and 10M podcast downloads, and I promised a special Q&A episode of the pod—which turned out to be more fun than I expected. Jump in on this celebratory episode, where I rapid fire through some of the most interesting questions sent in by you guys. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: 10 Million Downloads and Open Q&A 00:00:49 Building a Strong Marriage: The Keys to a Healthy Relationship 00:03:25 No Book Plans and Avoiding Burnout 00:04:16 Three Big Lessons from the Last Five Years 00:06:33 Tough Love for Content Creators: Stop Comparing Yourself to LeBron 00:07:32 The Truth About Manifestation and Cognitive Biases 00:09:40 Reframing Failure: Why You Should Never Get Over Your Fear 00:10:52 Luck Is a Skill: How Activity Creates Coincidences 00:13:27 Morning Routines Are Overrated (But Nighttime Routines Aren't) 00:14:45 Is There Such a Thing as Healthy Shame? 00:16:29 Exercise and Sobriety: The 18-Month Process Nobody Shows You 00:21:25 Overcoming Envy: You Can't Cherry-Pick Someone's Life 00:22:21 Don't Fight Your Insecurities—Befriend Them 00:22:52 YouTube vs. Blogging: Why Video Requires Better Ideas 00:25:13 Differentiate Yourself: What Needs to Be Said That Nobody's Saying? 00:26:51 Social Media Addiction: It Depends on Who's Using It 00:30:33 Goals Should Serve You, Not the Other Way Around 00:32:46 Moderation in Everything, Including Moderation 00:33:36 From Mediocre Student to Music School to Finding Writing at 27 00:36:47 Stop Optimizing Your Life: Focus on What Actually Excites You 00:38:16 Bad Life Advice: The Minimalist Trap and Why Commitments Create Meaning 00:40:02 Staying Humble While Being Ambitious 00:41:39 The Social Media Trade-Off: Choose Your Suck 00:43:06 The Brutal Truth About Music Careers: Set a Deadline 00:45:59 Social Comparison Is Human: Compare Yourself to the Right People 00:47:07 Relationship Values: When Compromise Works and When It Doesn't 00:48:57 Getting Over Your Ex: Five Steps to Moving Forward 00:50:40 NoFap and Pornography: Finding Beauty in Real People 00:52:50 Witold Pilecki: The Most Badass WWII Hero You've Never Heard Of 00:53:50 Speaking Up About Injustice: Raising the Bar in the Age of Outrage 00:55:43 What Fuels My Soul and What's Next for the Podcast ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

There’s an ancient philosophy that could actually help you give fewer f*cks, and unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard of it. Stoicism has been helping people manage their stress and anxiety for thousands of years and today, it’s more relevant than ever. @ryanholiday is the New York Times Bestselling author of multiple books on Stoicism. He believes that Stoicism is the framework that can help you be a normal person in an increasingly crazy world. Today’s episode dives into the life-altering benefits of following a philosophy that encourages you to focus on what you can control, and fuck the rest. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Why Stoicism Resonates in the Social Media Age 00:02:01 What Do You Give Too Many Fucks About? 00:03:48 Control, Anxiety, and Why Stoicism Appealed to Ryan 00:05:29 The Unexpected Success of The Obstacle Is the Way 00:09:45 How Success Changed Ryan's Relationship with Stoicism 00:12:00 What Ryan Gives Too Few Fucks About: Presence and Relationships 00:14:06 The Pandemic Reset: Taking a Year Off and Choosing Family 00:18:39 Regret, Guilt, and Grieving the Life You Could Have Had 00:17:30 Ryan's Legendary Productivity and the Cost of Optimization 00:24:13 Carrying Your Own Weight and Making Amends 00:25:55 What Most People Give Too Many Fucks About 00:29:13 Inherited Assumptions and the Adapted Child 00:31:19 Marriage, Different Definitions, and Renegotiating Meaning 00:33:28 The Nuclear Family Trap and Unreasonable Expectations 00:35:35 What Most People Give Too Few Fucks About: Other People's Suffering 00:38:53 The Implementation Problem: Theory vs. Reality 00:42:20 The Need for Chaos: Why Some People Want to Watch the World Burn 00:44:30 The Long Game: Why Moral Progress Takes Sustained Commitment 00:47:29 Closing: Right Thing Right Now and Paying It Forward ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

I just heard about the “bed rotting” trend on social media and I think I need a minute. Because if the kids think staying in bed all day eating pizza and doom scrolling is a form of rejuvenation then I’m calling bullshit on self-care. Today’s episode is a fun one. Drew and I have a long list of common self-improvement practices and I’m scoring them as overrated or underrated or, “it depends.” CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Overrated vs. Underrated Game 00:01:46 Goals: Why You Should Quit More Often 00:03:40 Self-Care: The Bed Rotting Problem 00:06:46 Romance Is Overrated and Why Love Isn't Enough 00:09:55 Friendship: As Important as Smoking 15 Cigarettes a Day 00:11:26 Therapy: Finding the Right Fit Matters More Than Credentials 00:17:03 Purpose: When Everything Doesn't Need to Be Meaningful 00:19:46 Dancing and Music: The Underrated Mood Intervention 00:22:43 Politics: The Reality TV Drug Ruining Your Life 00:26:24 Journaling: Properly Rated but Not All Journals Are Equal 00:30:34 Saunas Are Underrated, Cold Plunges Are Overrated 00:35:11 Psychedelics: The Clinical vs. Optimization Divide 00:41:58 God and Religion: The Atheist's Case for Church 00:47:13 Gratitude: It Depends on Who You Are ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

If the story of humanity is about loss, privation, suffering, and resilience, why are kids having nervous breakdowns about bad grades? In today’s episode, I talked to Abigail Shrier about what parents and mental health experts are inadvertently doing to rob young people of the resilience and grit that past generations had. It’s a spicy one. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Mental Health Paradox 00:01:14 What Inspired Bad Therapy 00:02:25 How Schools Became Therapy Sessions 00:03:44 Why Therapy Is Different for Kids 00:05:34 Defining Bad Therapy 00:09:29 The Problem With Social-Emotional Learning 00:13:13 The Fragility Epidemic: Mental Health Days and Dysregulation 00:14:16 The Power of Suggestion: How Diagnosis Creates Illness 00:15:25 Trauma Narratives and Post-Traumatic Growth 00:17:11 The Theory of Pain Relativity 00:18:18 The Barnum Effect and Mental Health Self-Diagnosis 00:19:43 Finding the Goldilocks Zone: Acknowledging Pain Without Dwelling 00:20:49 Emotional Hypochondria: Magnifying Normal Pain 00:22:33 Feeling Good vs. Being Good 00:23:39 Parents as Amateur Therapists: The Parenting Book Problem 00:24:13 Why Kids Need Authority, Not Friends 00:26:17 The Importance of Consequences and Dependability 00:30:05 The Trauma Guru Effect: Why Parents Are Afraid to Say No 00:32:15 Threat Inflation: Overprotecting in Real Life, Underprotecting Online 00:33:24 Sending Vulnerable Adults Into the World 00:33:52 How Researching the Book Changed Abigail's Parenting 00:35:32 The Collective Action Problem and Parental Insecurity 00:36:58 The Execution Gap: High Talent, Low Follow-Through 00:38:15 The Western Phenomenon: Immigrant Perspectives 00:39:27 The Latino Immigrant Paradox and Mental Health Outcomes 00:40:25 Political Differences in Mental Health: Liberal vs. Conservative Families 00:42:19 Curated Conversations and the Loss of Authenticity 00:43:40 The Quirks That Make Us Love People 00:46:39 Setting Boundaries: When the Therapist Stands Between You 00:48:16 The Relationship Advice Paradox 00:49:05 Ugly: A Father-Daughter Story About Authentic Love 00:50:17 What Parents Can Actually Do 00:51:28 Scraped Knees and Resilience 00:52:32 The Medication Problem: When Diagnosis Becomes Demoralization 00:54:44 The ADHD Story: Learning to Manage Without Medication 00:56:32 Anxiety as Superpower: The Adaptive Value of Mental Diversity 00:58:05 Emotionally Stable Systems: The Benefits of Being Slightly Crazy 01:00:48 Your Superpower Is Also Your Weakness 01:01:36 Zero Fucks Given: Surviving Irreversible Damage Backlash ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Making friends is hard, and unfortunately, as you get older, it gets harder. In this episode, we look at research behind friendships, plus the complicating factors people experience in making new friends as they get older. And for anyone struggling with their social lives, we share practical tips on how to meet and keep new friends. Enjoy and, good luck out there. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Mexico City Birthday Trip and Getting Robbed 00:04:20 Why Travel Builds Intimacy Faster 00:05:33 The Four Variables That Create Friendship 00:07:59 Remote Work Is Killing Workplace Friendships 00:11:16 The Partner and Kids Problem 00:13:55 When Your Friends Have Kids 00:18:50 The Friendship Paradox of Your Twenties 00:22:46 College: The Friendship Utopia We Can't Recreate 00:24:38 Be Aggressive on Hobbies and Interests 00:31:50 The Follow-Up Problem 00:34:11 Lead With Generosity 00:36:22 The Four Levels of Friendship 00:41:47 Why Friendship Matters More Than Romance 00:42:30 Final Wisdom: If You Want a Friend, Be a Friend ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Social media messes with our expectations because it convinces us that we should be doing everything, everywhere, all at once. But the reality is that we should focus on doing one or two things extremely well, in one place, consistently over a long period of time. Today on the pod, I talk to Noah Kagan, multi-millionaire and multi-business owner, about the type of consistency and habits that lead to wealth. Noah created his own wealth out of self-belief, learning from failing and being careful with what he gives a fuck about. Noah’s story is compelling as he shares how he found success over decades, by never ceasing to try. If you’re looking for some raw talk to get you motivated to go out and do cool shit, this is the episode to sink your energy into. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: What Don't You Give a Fuck About? 00:02:43 The Coffee Challenge: Practicing Rejection 00:03:40 Rejection Goals and Taking Action 00:15:23 Figuring Out What You Actually Want 00:18:23 The Journey to Self-Acceptance 00:19:41 Having Something to Look Forward To 00:21:08 The Quality of Your Friendships 00:23:40 Fame, Attention, and Ego 00:25:58 The Will Smith Slap and Being Human 00:32:35 The Slow Ramp Up: How Success Really Happens 00:33:41 Getting Fired From Facebook and Mint 00:44:40 The Power of Starting With One Dollar 00:38:47 Leadership, Self-Awareness, and CEO Surveys 00:51:41 Less Ambitious Goals for Longer Periods 00:55:33 YouTube, Knocking on Doors, and Asking the Right Questions 01:00:12 Mark's Failed Man-on-the-Street Video 01:01:50 The Videos Mark Is Most Proud Of 01:06:43 Hedonic Adaptation and Managing Expectations 01:10:47 Owning Your Word: The Subtle Art of Embracing Your Brand 01:12:30 Closing Thoughts: Did I Give Too Many Fucks? ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I came across some mildly terrifying statistics on loneliness and wanted to figure out what was going on. In this episode Drew and I break down three paradoxes we're calling “The Three Paradoxes of Modern Loneliness” and they are as follows: We are more connected than ever, yet loneliness is at an all-time high The more urbanized our lifestyles become, the lonelier we become Despite being more social, young people are becoming lonelier than older people Join us as we dig into the data and discuss why this all might be happening and what we can do about it. Check it out. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 The Loneliness Crisis: Shocking Statistics 00:00:55 Paradox 1: More Connected, More Lonely 00:02:50 The Momentum of Intimacy and Social Sorting 00:06:46 From Social Graph to Interest Graph: The TikTok Shift 00:08:30 Empty Calories: Why Digital Interactions Don't Satisfy 00:10:51 Dating Apps and the Superficiality Problem 00:14:09 The Missing Accountability: Why Everyone's Meaner Online 00:16:17 Paradox 2: Urban Loneliness in Crowded Cities 00:19:13 Social Infrastructure: The Key to Urban Connection 00:20:54 Living Alone: The 400% Increase and What It Means 00:24:00 The Marriage Question: Quality Up, Quantity Down 00:27:13 Paradox 3: Why Gen Z Is the Loneliest Generation 00:29:14 Trading Weed for TikTok: The Teen Mental Health Crisis 00:31:38 Interpersonal Neurobiology: Why Face-to-Face Matters 00:33:48 The Takeaway: We're Failing Our Kids ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

What if there was a way accomplish meaningful work—without the associated relationship breakdowns or stress? What if “making an impact” didn’t require massive amounts of energy or sacrifice? What if you could get more done by doing less? In this episode, I talk to Cal Newport about how knowledge work has got it all wrong. We discuss the subtle dangers of remote/digital work and the key to avoiding burnout, all while still being able to grind on the things you love. If you’re a stressed out, overworked remote worker, this one is for you. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 The Burnout Epidemic: Why Flexibility Isn't Fixing the Problem 00:01:22 Meet Cal Newport: The Professor Who Sold 20 Million Books Without Social Media 00:02:52 What Is Slow Productivity? 00:04:17 The History of Productivity: From Factories to Knowledge Work 00:05:34 Pseudo-Productivity: The Activity Trap That's Killing Knowledge Workers 00:06:52 The Corporate Meeting Nightmare: Why Everything Takes 90 Minutes 00:08:30 Measuring Success on a Decade Scale: The John McPhee Example 00:10:52 Adapting Traditional Knowledge Work Principles to Modern Jobs 00:12:41 Take Longer: Why Doubling Your Timeline Produces Better Work 00:14:23 The Beatles and Sergeant Pepper: Balancing Ambition With Deadlines 00:18:37 Principle One: Do Fewer Things at Once 00:19:20 The Overhead Tax: Why Every Commitment Generates Hidden Work 00:20:55 Specialization Over Jack-of-All-Trades: A Team Management Lesson 00:22:16 Remote Work and the Invisible Overhead Tax 00:23:58 The Friction Paradox: Why Removing Barriers Makes Things Worse 00:26:49 Context Switching: The Productivity Poison 00:29:36 The Remote Work Paradox: Highest Satisfaction, Highest Burnout 00:31:07 Hybrid Work and the Meeting Explosion 00:33:01 Freedom as Anxiety: The Sartre Problem With Endless Options 00:36:44 Making Your Workload Transparent: The Shared Queue Solution 00:39:47 Pull vs. Push: The Manufacturing Lesson Knowledge Work Ignores 00:43:20 Video Production Bottlenecks: Applying Pull Systems to Content Creation 00:44:09 Principle Two: Work at a Natural Pace 00:46:15 The Beatles, Mark Twain, and Picasso: Variability Within Massive Output 00:47:03 Distinguishing Natural Pace From Procrastination 00:16:50 Lin-Manuel Miranda's Seven-Year Journey: Milestones Without Endless Time 00:49:49 The Anti-Productivity Movement vs. Slow Productivity 00:52:59 Principle Three: Obsess Over Quality 00:52:43 Self-Care vs. Self-Indulgence: Where's the Line? 00:55:25 Is Slow Productivity a Privileged Position? 00:58:36 Entry-Level Knowledge Work: Moving Up Through Rare and Valuable Skills 01:02:32 Gen Z: The Attention Span Crisis and Hidden Advantages 01:06:18 From Self-Destruction to Construction: Gen Z's Cultural Shift 01:07:56 Generational Evolution: From Follow Your Passion to Job Engineering 01:10:19 The MIT Theory Group: Where It All Began 01:09:09 Slow Productivity as an Umbrella Framework ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

What if the answer isn’t to do more? What if the answer is to want less? I’ve always believed that subtracting from your life can produce better results than trying to add something. Generally, quitting a bad habit, or a bad mindset, or anything distracting, will have a bigger impact on your life than learning more. This episode covers a few things I think we should stop doing to live a better life. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: 6 Things to Stop Doing in 2024 00:00:28 Stop Investing in Emotionally Unavailable People 00:03:01 The Trap of Taking People for Granted 00:03:52 Dating Apps, Addiction, and the EU Lawsuit Against Hinge 00:05:04 Stop Blaming Everyone Else for Your Problems 00:06:34 Algorithms, Social Media, and Human Nature 00:07:46 Social Media's Impact on Teenagers vs. Adults 00:09:36 Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: Instagram and Social Comparison 00:11:49 Healthy vs. Toxic Social Comparison 00:14:31 Social Media Hides the Ambiguity of Real Life 00:15:55 Stop Expecting Other People to Change 00:18:41 Why Changing Others Often Means Avoiding Changing Yourself 00:19:30 The Evolution of Giving Advice: From Arrogance to Humility 00:21:36 Be the Counterargument, Don't Make the Counterargument 00:23:05 Stop Burying Your Emotions: The Intellectualization Trap 00:24:38 Memory Gaps and Suppressed Emotions 00:26:28 The Balance Between Suppressing and Overindulging Emotions 00:28:15 Real Vulnerability vs. TikTok Vulnerability 00:30:46 Vulnerability, Honesty, and Freedom Are Linked 00:31:35 The Mental Health Conversation Problem 00:32:48 Stop Sacrificing Sleep for Productivity or Fun 00:34:30 The Individual Nature of Sleep Flexibility 00:36:30 Stop Drinking: Drew's Two-Year Sobriety Journey 00:38:29 What Sobriety Reveals About Yourself and Your Relationships 00:40:32 When Self-Destructiveness Was Cool 00:42:50 The 90s Rock Culture: A Retrospective 00:44:21 When You Don't Have Real Problems, You Invent Them ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Successful people talk a lot about what made them successful. But they're rarely asked about all the things that went wrong. What about all of the things that failed? Or all the times they got fired? Embarrassed themselves? Spent time in jobs that were just plain weird or awful? No one asks this stuff. Until now of course. In this episode, I talk to my friend Derek Sivers about the weird and awful jobs that eventually led him to become a millionaire. From circus ringleader to founder of one the most successful music start-ups of our time, this guy has a story to tell. Derek Sivers is the author of four books, founder of CD Baby which he sold for $22 million (then gave most of it away), and just an all-around badass. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Jobs That Didn't Work Out 00:01:44 The $75 Pig Show That Changed Everything 00:04:53 The Professional Pest: Getting Paid to Annoy College Students 00:08:50 Mark's Investment Banking Disaster 00:13:50 The Metaphorical Time Zone and Corporate Reality 00:17:48 Class Reunions and Working for Dreams, Not Money 00:19:46 Telemarketing and the Art of Not Being Yourself 00:24:30 Identity, Authenticity, and Cultural Differences 00:26:42 Mark's Three-Week Career as a Bouncer 00:30:07 The Value of Weird Jobs and Empathy 00:30:52 Comfort as a Trap and Keeping Your Baseline Low 00:42:22 Home as a Place With No Obstacles 00:34:14 Quitting the Marathon: When Goals Don't Serve You 00:35:25 The Landmark Forum and Life Having No Inherent Meaning 00:38:10 Investing in Skills Over Paychecks 00:31:51 The Horizon Principle: Why Hardship Doesn't Feel Hard 00:39:42 What Cities Whisper: New York, Luxury, and Success 00:48:12 Being Around Greatness: Geography and Ambition 00:44:22 How Derek Became a Japanese Rock Star 00:55:46 Alan Tepper and Creating Your Own Job 00:58:39 Mark's Career as a Men's Dating Coach 01:01:40 Transactional Thinking and Missing Father Figures 01:03:59 The Teacher Learns More Than the Student 01:06:34 Wrap-Up: Failed Jobs That Made Us Who We Are ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

The most important truths in life are the ones we don’t like to hear. In fact, I managed to make an entire career out of sharing these types of truths because the stuff we don’t like hearing is often what we need to hear the most. In this episode I have a lot of fun going through—one-by-one—six nuggets of wisdom, designed to make us all less awful humans. So saddle up bitches, I’m here to break hearts today. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Important Truths No One Likes to Hear 00:00:32 Truth 1: If You Think You Have a Problem, You Do 00:02:51 The Backwards Law and Gratitude Practices 00:07:55 Why Your Solutions Stop Working Over Time 00:09:44 California Groupthink and Finding Your People 00:12:14 Truth 2: Sexy Results Come From Boring Work 00:15:41 Music School, Practice Rooms, and Perfectionism 00:17:29 Exercise: Consistency Beats Extreme Workouts 00:18:47 Truth 3: Consistency Matters More Than Intensity 00:20:47 Relationships Need Small Gestures, Not Grand Ones 00:22:32 Kevin Kelly's Parenting Advice and High Leverage Moments 00:26:42 Marathon Training: Run Slow to Get Fast 00:26:58 Truth 4: People Feel About You How You Feel About Yourself 00:30:06 Breaking the Vicious Cycle: Setting Your First Boundaries 00:31:39 Truth 5: You'll Look Back on Today's Problems With Nostalgia 00:34:27 Learning to Appreciate Struggle in the Moment 00:37:53 The Bittersweetness of Hard Times 00:39:33 Truth 6: The Only Common Factor in Your Problems Is You 00:40:43 Mark and Fernanda's Community Problem Across Three Cities 00:42:31 Locus of Control and The Responsibility-Fault Fallacy 00:45:29 Recap: Six Truths No One Wants to Hear ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Could it be that today’s increased awareness about emotions, and our obsession with mental health issues, are actually causing more mental health issues? More people are doing therapy, but are those people potentially doing it wrong? Therapist, counselor, and author Lori Gottlieb says that a lot of our culture’s approach to mental health is wrong. In today’s podcast, we discuss what it takes to do therapy effectively. We discuss the prevalence of mental health content online and why that may be a bad thing. We talk about how people’s misunderstandings of vulnerability and boundaries can backfire. And we get into the effect social media might be having on this. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: What If We're Getting Therapy Wrong? 00:01:25 How to Actually Do Therapy Well 00:03:25 Idiot Compassion vs. Wise Compassion 00:04:31 The Presenting Problem vs. The Real Problem 00:06:28 The Prisoner Shaking the Bars 00:08:23 Coming to Unknow Yourself 00:09:55 How to Take Advice Well and the Help-Rejecting Complainer 00:13:40 Defense Mechanisms: Why We Cling to What Hurts Us 00:15:40 The Toxic Rescuer Dynamic 00:18:03 The Stages of Change and Why Maintenance Matters Most 00:20:53 The Ripple Effects of Change Nobody Talks About 00:21:59 When Your Partner Doesn't Want You to Change 00:24:09 Small Changes vs. Extreme Overhauls 00:25:27 The Mental Health Crisis Paradox 00:26:43 Why Men Think They're the Only Ones 00:30:00 The Permission to Be Human 00:32:30 The Danger of Trauma Inflation and Concept Creep 00:33:49 Rupture and Repair: The Lost Art of Relationship 00:34:50 The Prevalence Inflation Hypothesis 00:36:51 Performative Vulnerability vs. Real Vulnerability 00:38:30 Choose Your Audience: Vulnerability Isn't for Everyone 00:40:02 Boundaries Are With Yourself, Not Others 00:41:18 The Cut-Off Culture and the Loneliness Epidemic 00:43:28 Flexibility: The Number One Quality in a Partner 00:44:11 Sometimes the Friction Is the Point 00:45:23 When Therapy Becomes the Problem 00:46:28 The Worst Business Model Ever: Knowing When to Leave Therapy 00:48:53 The Human Condition as It Happens 00:50:53 Authenticity Over Credentials 00:51:39 What's Next and the TV Adaptation ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

We all overestimate how much you have to do to actually be happy. But what if I told you that achieving happiness is much simpler than you think? That’s right, the smallest lifestyle changes can have the most unexpected knock-on effects towards positive change. It’s actually quite incredible once you experience it. In today’s episode of the pod, we delve into the 3 of the most important questions that you can ask yourself in determining your own levels of happiness. These are questions worth asking. Make me happy by liking and reviewing the episode. Make someone else happy by sharing it with them. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Three Questions That Determine Happiness 00:00:39 Question 1: How Well Am I Treating My Body? 00:02:32 The Spiritual Side of Self-Discipline 00:03:02 Mark's Health Journey: From External to Internal Motivation 00:04:04 The Surprising Benefits of Quitting Alcohol 00:07:03 The Knock-On Effects: How Feeling Good Changes Everything 00:08:26 Question 2: Who Am I Spending My Time With and Why? 00:11:03 Don't Take Good Friends for Granted 00:13:16 The Loneliness Epidemic and the Harvard Study 00:15:19 The Hippies Were Right: It's All About Love 00:16:05 Question 3: What Am I Working On and Why? 00:16:55 Cal Newport's Insight: Get Good First, Passion Follows 00:18:43 The Secretary Who Loved Her Job for 60 Years 00:19:54 Why Your Hobby Should Stay a Hobby 00:22:28 Drew's Woodworking: A Case Study in Pure Passion 00:24:47 Mark's Profound Realization: I Love the Business, Not Just Writing 00:27:45 Grading Ourselves on the Three Questions 00:29:36 Mark's Social Life Challenge: Finding Community While Sober 00:31:04 California Sober and LA Party Culture 00:32:02 Wrap-Up and Newsletter Invitation ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

What do you do when trying to improve your life makes you feel worse? What if trying to be better comes across as ‘try-hard’? What if setting more goals is just your way of avoiding your own bullshit? This is the topic of discussion in today’s episode, “The Self-Improvement Paradox”—or in other words, why sometimes trying to be better makes you feel worse. It turns out improving yourself is nuanced and complicated. Who would have thought? Check it out. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:37 Question #1: When is improving yourself being try-hard? 00:10:35 Question #2: How do you balance improving yourself with accepting yourself? 00:20:14 Question #3: Is too much self-esteem really that big of a problem? ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Imagine if you could sit down with one of the world’s leading happiness researchers and ask her, one by one, what actually makes people happier and what doesn’t? Well, that’s basically what I did. In this episode, Sonja and I get deep into the subject of happiness. One by one, we conclude which of life’s simple and not-so-simple pleasures are underrated or overrated. Some of the answers will definitely surprise you. Do yourself a favor—watch, like, and share the happiness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’ve ever been stuck working some BS desk job thinking there’s got to be more to life, then you were right. There’s travel. High-quality, intentional travel is one of the most transformational experiences a person can have. Without a doubt, my 10 years living abroad made me more confident, more self-assured, and ultimately more educated about the world and the people in it. It also informed a lot of the philosophy that I've written about over the past 10 years—the counterintuitive approach that so many people have come to love. This episode dives into the key takeaways I got from my years of traveling. I can’t be sure, but I think they might inspire you as much as they have me. Enjoy. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:42 How it all began 00:04:18 Lesson #1: Everything is a trade-off 00:08:48 Lesson #2: Happiness is cheap, dignity is expensive 00:16:52 Lesson #3: Solo travel is great for personal development 00:22:07 Lesson #4: Most people are good 00:28:27 Lesson #5: Some cultures produce better outcomes than others 00:36:32 Mark’s travel tips ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

People are becoming increasingly lonely and are unable to relate to one another. Yet we have more access to more people than ever before. What's going on? Is it technology? Is social media replacing our sense of community with the empty calories of the sweet, sweet For You feed? Or maybe it’s the deterioration of the nuclear family — fewer kids are being born and being raised by fewer parents. Or is it the lack of religion in public life? Or the geographic exodus from small towns and communities towards big anonymous cities? Or the economic inequality and complete loss of work/life balance? These are questions that I, and renowned journalist and author David Brooks, unpack together as we nose dive into the social and emotional disconnect of millions of people.Need lessons on how to talk to the barista making your coffee? Looking to build a better relationship with Gary from across the fence? This episode won’t make you a master of communication overnight, but it’s a fascinating conversation packed with useful insight from beginning to end.Listen to it. David Brooks on Twitter @nytdavidbrooks: https://twitter.com/nytdavidbrooksDavid Brooks’ column: https://www.nytimes.com/column/david-brooksDavid's new book “How to Know a Person:” https://www.amazon.com/How-Know-Person-Seeing-Others/dp/059323006X CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:02:46 Why we’re in a social crisis 00:05:55 The harsh judgment of social media 00:08:06 The growth of distrust 00:10:57 The decline of the traditional family 00:15:14 On communitarian cultures 00:16:24 Making America more “relationalist” 00:18:19 The Scandinavian and Israeli success 00:20:33 Is this success replicable in a diverse society? 00:23:32 The vice of today’s generation 00:29:19 David’s take on politics 00:32:11 Mark on the evolution of self-help 00:33:57 The recession of religion 00:38:33 Friction is the point 00:39:46 The “second mountain” 00:46:42 What we’re really motivated by 00:49:55 Can we go straight to the “second mountain”? ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

It’s 2024 and hopefully you haven’t already given up on your goals for the year. Today, we’re going to talk about the best and worst ways to set goals. We’ll talk about the factors that make you more likely to achieve your goals, why you lose motivation by week three, and the most common error everyone makes when deciding to change themselves for the better. We’ll also be sharing some of our personal goal disasters along the way to learn what not to do. We’d also like you to share your goals with us! Details on how to do that are here. Happy New Year. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 | Introduction 00:01:07 | Mistake #1: Aiming too high 00:03:01 | Mistake #2: Doing everything at once 00:09:29 | Mistake #3: Neglecting systems 00:13:26 | Mistake #4: Not making it fun 00:16:19 | Mistake #5: Making it too easy 00:17:13 | Mistake #6: Doing it for others 00:25:12 | Extrinsic vs intrinsic motivation in goal setting 00:30:18 | Mark’s 2024 goal 00:34:43 | Drew’s 2024 goal 00:41:32 | Your 2024 goals ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

It’s easy to assume that the hustle culture or “the grind” is all about pain and suffering. But as you’ll learn today, this simply isn’t true. In today’s episode, I’m talking to Ali Abdaal, a former medical doctor turned YouTuber and author of the new book, Feel-Good Productivity. Ali has attracted millions of global followers to his ideas on productivity and working because he’s managed to do what others have not: actually make it fun. It turns out that finding ways to make your work fun doesn’t just make you hate your life less, it actually makes you more productive. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 | Introduction 00:03:38 | Our biggest misconception about productivity 00:05:38 | Emotions and productivity 00:08:47 | Mark’s epiphany on book writing 00:10:12 | Compounding returns on productivity 00:12:09 | Should we have zero distractions? 00:14:38 | Skills behind Ali’s success as a doctor and YouTuber 00:18:12 | What happens when you stop having fun 00:19:15 | “It’s all creative work” 00:22:26 | Making fitness fun 00:27:07 | The two types of productivity advice 00:32:55 | Can work-life balance get you to success? 00:35:27 | How to “feel good” in productivity 00:39:21 | The problem with caring too much what others think 00:42:52 | Experimentation as Ali’s way of life ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Do you worry that you might be wasting your life? That you’re doing things that don’t feel important? Are you constantly anxious about your to-do list? Is your mind blown that it’s 2024 already?!? This week, I’ve enlisted the help of my friend Oliver Burkeman, author of the bestseller Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, to help us get a handle on using time wisely. In this episode, we’re going to look at how our perception of time shapes our self-image, how it’s often advantageous to choose to be bad at something, why people-pleasing doesn’t actually please people, and a whole lot more. Oliver Burkeman is a renowned journalist and author, known for his unique ability to seamlessly blend philosophy and psychology to bring a fresh and counterintuitive take to classic self-help subjects. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 | Introduction 00:03:22 | Our relationship with time 00:05:49 | A better way of looking at time 00:07:32 | “Strategic underachievement” 00:11:16 | How to stop people-pleasing 00:14:58 | Being a net positive at social events 00:18:45 | “Don’t try to change the world” 00:21:01 | Our toxic relationship with time and the art of “being present” 00:30:41 | “Effortless action” 00:32:53 | Buddhist influences on Oliver’s work 00:37:51 | Our primary misconception about time management 00:39:01 | Oliver’s final word of wisdom ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Some of the most important truths in life are found in paradoxes. Paradoxes seem like opposites on the surface, but once you look deeper beneath what are seeming contradictions, there are real grains of wisdom that emerge. In this episode, I cover some of the most life-changing paradoxes I’ve ever come across, and discuss how they can improve how you approach your life. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 | Introduction 00:00:49 | Paradox #1: The more choices you have, the less happy you will be 00:07:25 | Paradox #2: Hard choices, easy life 00:11:45 | Paradox #3: What you hate in others, you’re avoiding in yourself 00:17:35 | Paradox #4: The more afraid you are of failing, the more likely you are to fail 00:21:48 | Paradox #5: The more something makes you uncomfortable, the more you should do it 00:26:15 | Paradox #6: The more connected we get, the more isolated we feel 00:31:10 | Paradox #7: The more afraid you are of death, the less you will enjoy life ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

In 2021, Matt from Yes Theory, one of YouTube's biggest channels, revealed he was quitting the platform.Despite being an internet celebrity, Matt's story is a common one—about someone who gave away too much of themselves to be liked by others, and now desperately trying to get themselves back. In this episode, Matt and I unpack this familiar dilemma, as well as covering topics like codependence, managing success, dealing with parasocial relationships, determining when vulnerability goes too far, and much more. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:01:59 Why Matt’s giving up his dream 00:09:00 The challenges fame brings 00:14:14 How to mature in the spotlight 00:17:45 The incredible story of Yes Theory 00:21:53 Losing boundaries in the world of fame 00:26:54 Performing, not living 00:27:58 How much of yourself to share as a creator 00:35:44 Matt’s top tip for being a creator 00:37:29 Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation in creative work 00:43:52 Matt’s biggest takeaway from his career 00:48:06 How Matt went from hating to loving his book 00:51:56 What makes the Yes Theory team work 00:53:54 What’s next for Matt 00:57:28 Fuck, Marry, Kill ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

A comprehensive list of lessons you shouldn’t wait too long to learn. In this episode, I’m sharing 7 important lessons I learned far too late in life. I’m doing this so that you don’t have to live through as many clusterfucks as I did to find a bit of peace in life. Some of these lessons you may already know, some may surprise you. But they’re all guaranteed to help you live a better life. This is your one and only chance to not repeat my godawful mistakes. So get into it. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction 00:00:36 Lesson #1: People respect you only as much as you respect yourself 00:06:02 Lesson #2: You give power to those you blame 00:10:40 Lesson #3: The quality of your relationships dictates the quality of your life 00:17:31 Lesson #4: People aren't thinking about you as much as you think they are 00:23:39 Lesson #5: Nothing meaningful in life is easy 00:28:38 Lesson #6: Love occurs in proportion to your willingness to get hurt 00:34:36 Lesson #7: Be slow to judge. Everyone is doing their best ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Do I exist if I’m not on social media? Can I fake it till I make it? What’s the secret to a good life? In this week’s episode, I enlist my old friend and host of the wildly popular The Psychology Podcast, Scott Barry Kaufman, PhD. to dissect our psyche in the social media age. Reflecting on his personal experience and drawing on a wealth of psychological research, Scott asks—and answers—questions that might reveal aspects of yourself you never knew were there, and set you on the path to a better life. We’re going to dive deep and get existential. We’re going to talk neurodiversity, vulnerability, and Batman. What more can you ask for? Exactly. Go get it. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: From Special Ed to the Top 0.05% 00:02:22 Breaking Out: The Teacher Who Changed Everything 00:05:36 The Problem With Standardized Testing and IQ 00:07:54 Neurodivergence: When a Term Loses Its Meaning 00:10:12 The Identity Crisis Generation 00:13:43 Confident Vulnerability vs. Lowercase vulnerability 00:18:57 Social Media and the Anxious Generation 00:20:56 Do You Exist Without a Social Media Presence? 00:24:10 The Legibility Problem: When Status Games Go Public 00:27:16 Scott's Twitter Break and Living Without the Algorithm 00:28:46 Mastery Goals vs. Performance Goals 00:31:58 When Psychological Concepts Get Watered Down 00:34:37 Healthy Authenticity: Four Components That Matter 00:36:13 Fake It Till You Make It: Does It Actually Work? 00:39:18 Behavioral Activation: Act First, Think Later 00:44:28 Just Get in the Arena 00:46:56 The Victimhood Mentality Across All Groups 00:50:28 The Self-Help Industry's Dirty Secret 00:51:49 Fuck, Marry, Kill: Psychology Edition 00:55:25 The Truth About Therapy Effectiveness ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Make up or break up? Knowing when to call it quits. If you’ve ever been through a rough patch, you know this is a painful question to answer. Do you stick it out? Do you cut the cord and run? Do you sacrifice more to make it work? Do you demand your partner give up everything and run away to Fiji and live happily ever after? These are the hard questions we answer in this episode. To help us figure this out, I’m going to be roasting viewers’ relationships with their partners. I’m going to go over five real-world examples sent in from you, fans struggling with relationships, and in the process I’m going to share the three questions we must all ask ourselves to figure out if it’s time to break up. So get your hot sauce ready, because shit’s about to get spicy. Maybe even have your partner join you for this one. It could be fun… or it could ruin your marriage. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: The Most Painful Question in Any Relationship 00:02:08 Question 1: When Your Partner Won't Take Responsibility 00:03:57 The First Essential Question: Are Both People Putting In Equal Effort? 00:08:40 Question 2: When Personal Growth Disrupts the Relationship 00:10:30 Identity Formation and Growing Apart vs. Growing Together 00:15:34 Question 3: Living Your Partner's Dream Instead of Your Own 00:16:56 What Real Compromise Looks Like: Mitigating Misery, Not Maximizing Happiness 00:22:09 The Second Essential Question: Are Compromises Making Things Better or Worse? 00:23:30 Question 4: The Commitment-Phobe Who Found Someone Perfect 00:25:52 Don't Break Up Over Mirages: The Power of Individual Identity in Relationships 00:29:16 Question 5: Three Breakups in Two Years and the Guilt of Walking Away 00:32:38 Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships: Feelings vs. Behaviors 00:35:27 The Third Essential Question: Are You Compromising Hoping They'll Change? 00:37:32 Final Takeaways: The Three Questions That Determine If You Should Stay or Go ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson

Everybody wants to get rich. But is the pursuit of wealth really about the money, or are we actually chasing something much deeper? These are just a couple of the fun ideas I toss around in this episode with Morgan Housel, New York Times Bestselling author of the smash hit, The Psychology of Money, which has sold more than four million copies worldwide. We’ll dig deep to uncover our relationship with money, answer the timeless question “Will getting rich make me happy?” and share some of Morgan’s best investing tips. So put away your spreadsheets, step away from the credit card, and for god’s sake stop trading crypto for five seconds, and settle in for this one. We might just make you filthy fucking rich. CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Introduction: Morgan Housel and The Psychology of Money 00:01:34 Why We Attach Moral Value to Wealth 00:02:58 The Relative Nature of Wealth and the Never-Ending Treadmill 00:03:55 Social Media and the Quantification of Status 00:06:49 Sustainability Over Short-Term Wins 00:09:14 Does Money Change You or Expose Who You Already Are? 00:12:11 The Hedonic Treadmill and the Pain of Losing Wealth 00:15:16 Learning to Handle Market Volatility and Panic Selling 00:18:11 Social Media, Meme Stocks, and the Death of Historical Evidence 00:19:57 The Velocity of Modern Markets and Why Individual Trading Fails 00:25:03 The Hidden Costs and Complications of Wealth 00:27:21 Money Doesn't Buy Happiness, It Buys Away Unhappiness 00:29:14 Social Debt: The Hidden Tax on Every Dollar of Wealth 00:30:38 The Quest for the Simple Life and Why Billionaires Divorce 00:36:00 Does Wealth Change Your Politics? 00:36:47 Raising Kids and Money: The Allowance System and Avoiding Spoiled Children 00:41:25 Nature vs. Nurture: Do Some People Just Have the Money Mind? 00:44:14 The Power of a Single Compliment and Finding Your Path 00:49:03 Same as Ever: What Never Changes in Human Behavior 00:52:53 Why Human Connection Will Always Trump AI 00:55:12 The Best and Worst Thing About You Are the Same Thing 00:57:54 Fuck, Marry, Kill: Investment Edition 01:02:02 Closing Thoughts and Where to Find Morgan ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://markmanson.net/breakthrough⁩⁠⁠⁠ ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at ⁠⁠⁠⁨https://bit.ly/4w46FMH⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson