The Scathing Atheist

On this week’s episode: The Daily Mail manages to to be less trustworthy than the BIBLE ... The Pope kinda tells us he’s sowwy for all the diddling ... And when making coffee at home doesn't buy them a house, Gen Z turns to religion...ish.

In this week’s episode, the IRS gets a little closer to putting the ‘lock’ in Greg Locke, we learn that Jesus was probably just using an infinite lives glitch, and Lindsey Graham will hear about that cheat a little too late.

In this week’s episode, Tulsi Gabbard is in a cult worse than conservatism, Dusty Deevers rides off sadly into the sunset with tumbleweed rolling past, and we’ll once again learn the importance of not f**king.

In this week’s episode, the Grand Canyon state creates an Arizona UNTRUTH, we learn that God has an atheist sense of humor with his weather-based smiting, and we’ll finally get the juicy personal Ross Douthat details you’ve been waiting for.

In this week’s episode, Pete Hegseth whittles down America’s list of real religions, we lament the shutdown of the storied Riverstone Christian Academy in the strip mall behind the Staples, and we’ll get to know Don Ford biblically. Again.

In this week’s episode, Trump puts the generosity in genocide, we'll learn that communion could taste a lot worse, and Promise Backlund will be here with this year’s hottest beach read.

In this week’s episode, the Pope gets around to calling slavery “our bad,” a Christian apostle hopes to follow in the footsteps of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and we’ll pull the plug on James Drain’s miracle.

In this week’s episode, America celebrates its birthday with 250 year old ideas about pluralism, all the holy water and anointing oil in Vatican City can't lubricate the arid mouth of Marco Rubio, and that’s only one of the similarities Marco Rubio’s mouth shares with Ben Shapiro’s wife’s vagina.

In this week’s episode, the DOJ enters the 1st Amendment’s SPAM folder, Florida golfers who encounter a golden idol of Donald Trump will play it as it lies, and Ross Douthat will finally make it through a chapter without shoehorning an obscure Latin or French phrase into the text.

In this week’s episode, Christianity's persecution complex gets an annex and a ballroom, we learn that speedrunning halfway into a Scientology building leads to Xenu's paradox, and Don Ford will be here quick before the name Don goes the way of Adolph.

In this week’s episode, we’ll ask if they’re still Mormon stories if you get sued for saying TRUE stuff, we learn about Satan's plan to corrupt the world using a high school marching band in suburban Indiana, and Christians will accidentally admit that their religion doesn’t work again.

In this week’s episode, Donald Trump will read the only book dumber than he is, this new connection between public health and raccoon penis will surprise you, and we’ll take a look at Christianity’s security blanket.

In this week’s episode, Donald Trump gets THIS close to saying he won the papal election too, we meet a bigotry-based puppet act almost as obnoxious as Jeff Dunham, and Ross Douthat will devote six whole pages to the problem of evil.

In this week’s episode, Trump’s Easter message goes a little off track, we learn that Jesus Christ definitely skipped egg day again, and Biblepiece Theater will check the New Testament’s spam folder.

In this week’s episode, The Washington Post puts the edit in editorialize, Republicans at CPAC plan to destroy the left with their girthy rizz, and Michael Marshall will be here to give you new people to hate.

In this week’s episode, Pete Hegseth puts the A hole in “a holy war,” a top-level FEMA official makes up a lie about being the worst X-Man ever, and we’ll make sure our obituary skills are warmed up for when the big one happens.

In this week’s episode, Alabaman children make a much more depressing kind of wish, The Guardian is pretty sure AI witchcraft is on the rise thanks to Gemini of Newt, and Ross Douthat will hide little thoughts in big words again.

In this week’s episode, Greg Locke’s dark web of satanist enemies forget to pay his parking tickets, Pope Bobby goes full jestermaxx and clowns hard on the looksmaxxing community, and Don will be here to put the “easy” in “Ephesian.”

On this week’s episode: America’s justification for war has some holeys in it ... Tucker Carlson ramps up his presidential aspirations with a meditation collab ... And we’ll watch the only rapture movie that might actually give us nightmares.

In this week’s episode, American Christians wonder if they can be Nazis with an S this time, a new reality competition show looks a lot like game night with Eli and his magic troupe, and we’ll put the “ain’t” back in “saint.”

In this week’s episode, Trump’s Religious liberty commission finds itself 1 for 3, Christian Nationalists gather in DC to break the first and second rule of Smite Club, and we’ll be joined by the Epstein File’s own Michael Marshall.

In this week’s episode, measles put the skibidi in Ohio, TP-USA tries to get more young Republicans by airing Kid Rock against Bad Bunny, and Ross Douthat will enter the “don’t answer yet” phase of his Christianity sales pitch.

In this week’s episode, Texas crosses some flaming Ts, Christian schools in Australia teach about the arkaeopteryx, and Don Ford will be here for some more strongly worded letters.

In this week’s episode, Christians declare that he who is without boot should lick the first soul, JD Vance is NOT allowed to hold the fetus trophy at the March For Life rally, and we’ll find out that the Bibleman franchise could too be more cheaply made.

In this week’s episode, Christians demand NO shoving in line to the ovens, a Republican theocrat tries to confuse the globalists by starting a public JEWISH school, and “How Bullshit Is It?” will get meta.

In this week’s episode Tucker Carlson is worried the horny woman in the area is his wife so he wants to ban porn, and Ross Douthat totally would’ve won that argument against Christopher Hitchens if he hadn’t been tired.

In this week’s episode, America picks up an extra president, podcastiverse character Scottish abortion clinic lady gets conjured by the universe to murder satire, and Don Ford will be here because apparently he had no better place to be.

In this week’s episode, Catholics still haven’t met their kid diddling deductible, we have a jance dance revolution party on the graves of our enemies, and Tom and Cecil will be here to see if we were gonna finish that.

In this week’s episode, Christianity will put the PR in CPR, Kirk Cameron gets eschatological and makes quite a mess, and president of American Atheists Nick Fish will be here to talk about serious stuff.

In this week’s episode, the Maine Supreme Court considers the right to hide under your kid’s bed dressed like Satan, Joe Rogan thinks the ultimate AI god is gonna want his brain uploaded to the server, and we’ll warn you about the dangers of fantasy role playing adventures.

In this week’s episode, running our hospitals through a group of bigot virgins will yield less than stellar results, Quebec does obnoxious honky stuff in both their French accent and their politics, and Lydia and Thomas Smith will be here to hook us up with some West Coast vulgarity.

In this week’s episode, we’re halfway through our atheist mission, you'll never guess what Jeffrey Epstein and the Catholic League have in common, and Michael Marshall will be here to sound chipper no matter how fucked up the stuff he’s talking about is.

In this week’s episode, religion scores an F for Feeding hungry babies, Ne Millin Mms would like to buy a vowel and about 990,000 moms, and Don Ford will be here to help us go through Jesus’s mail some more.

In this week’s episode, JD Vance has a theory dumber than his face, he worries about Hinduism and reincarnation as a couch, and Tom and Cecil will be here to do some bad for good.

In this week’s episode, we’ll learn what the hell all those deadly Teslas were swerving out of the way of, Colorado takes the everybody out of PUBLIC schools, and we’ll sell you profanity even more directly than usual.

In this week’s episode, some of us learn that it’s national “slap your irritating coworker day” the hard way, We learn that Ohio is round on the ends and fucking stupid in the middle, and Ross Douthat will go searching for a miracle example and pass right over his career as an intellectual.

In this week’s episode, we’ll hate on the wrong way to hate wrongness, One Million Moms tells NASCAR their language is a bit too racy, and Don Ford will be here to help take the pi$$ out of an epistle.

In this week’s episode, the nones are emptier than we thought, a Trump video about med beds gets recognized as AI because of complete sentences, and Ross Douthat will ask how we explain all the alien abductions if Jesus isn’t our Lord and Savior.

In this week’s episode, Atheists find ourselves the only terrorists without a magical hat, a representative who represents himself has a fool for a client, and we’ll welcome in a pair of obsessive Joe Rogan listeners throughout the show.

On this week's episode: The White House finds the connections between JC and CK ... Rumor has it that Ryan Walters fucked a pile of flour during a board of education zoom call? ... And Don Ford will be here to read Paul's homophobic letter to the Romans.

In this week’s episode, the nation casts our tiny face upwards towards the heavens, God continues having a mediocre .500 winning percentage at football, and we discover that random janitors often give the best psychiatric advice.

In this week’s episode, we dredge the leftovers bucket to see if there are any headlines we missed, then we let you hear what we sound like in our pajamas.

In this week’s episode, the CDC deals with a brain worm, Quebec doesn't enjoy Islam incorrectly, and Ross Douthat will try his hand at neuroscience.

In this week’s episode, protesters get a rise out of Dan Patrick by not letting him get a rise out of them, Kristi Noem remains a puppy killer, and we’ll find a fresh grave in need of some aggressive urine therapy.

In this week’s episode, Ryan Walters shows off his Oklahomophobia, a church-restaurant has to transubstantiate its bar inventory to keep its liquor license, and Marsh will talk the guys through the how-tos of canal sects.

On this week’s episode: Ryan Walters blames Big Roku for his fappenings ... Dean Cain tries to reverse the rotation of the earth so he's not 59 and sloppy ... And Don Ford will be here to keep the bible interesting.

In this week’s episode, Arkansas receives a stern talking to from…reality, the AG of Florida tells a drag show gestapo he's gonna get really mad, and we’ll watch a Mormon video that warns about the dangers of honesty.

In this week’s episode, a Christian college in Australia buys a robot dog that works in mysterious ways, Scott Kupor watched The Right to Believe on his work laptop, and Ryan Walters did NOT watch The Right to Believe on his work laptop.

In this week’s episode, Ryan Walters finds the Lemon test a bit too sweet, a priest teaches the story of Abraham and Isaac from the perspective of Bigfoot, and Don Ford will get tricked by a box with “Don Ford Feed” written on it again.

In this week’s episode, Texans thank God for drowning their children, the weather in Oklahoma is cloudy with a chance of space lasers, and we’ll put the ‘fun’ in funeral once again.

In this week’s episode, the Dalai Lama says Ti-bet on his reincarnation, Dr. Phil needs chapter 11 protection on more than just his morality, and Marsh will try to prove his country doesn’t have the wooiest sovereign.

In this week’s episode, the Supreme Court establishes “la la la I can’t hear you” as a parental right, the "Tuck Your Face" segment is about Tucker Carlson but also Ted Cruz's skin mask, and Ross Douthat will ask how a universe that wasn’t divinely ordered by a brilliant deity could create Ross Douthat.

In this week’s episode, America has its human credentials temporarily revoked, we learn about a Christian super-genius* and his movement called IQ-Anon, and we’ll learn about another one of those self-correcting forms of woo.

In this week’s episode, our little Heathy Enwright gets married! Or… well, he doesn’t do that on the episode, but that happens. And we get a little mushy about it.

In this week’s episode, America doesn't WANNA get a shot, Peter Thiel explains why his list of anti-woke grievances is the literal Antichrist, and Don Ford will escape from his box again.

In this week’s episode, Texas Presumes its students can count up to ten, we learn about a gold scam involving Donald Trump's bullion heir, and we’ll find yet another downside of literacy.

In this week’s episode, the SCOTUS huffily leaves a clause established, RFK Jr's top medical scientists are gonna see if Trump Derangement Syndrome can be cured with ivermectin, and we consider the complicated questions of duck-dynastic succession.

In this week’s episode, Gen Z thinks this Jesus fella is pretty skibidi Ohio, the new pope takes a long look at the story of Cain and Abel, and we’ll turn to Dennis Prager for some very questionable answers.

In this week’s episode, our surgeon gets a lot more general, Celine Dion's heart will go QAnon, and we’ll get started with all new papal nicknames.

In this week’s episode, Christian bigots put themSELVES on a list for a change, Donald Trump gets down with the sithness, and Tom and Cecil will be here to explain how Eli’s spreadsheet got lost in the mail.

In this week’s episode, the Pope is laid to solemn multimillion dollar ceremony complete with commemorative coins, a federal court considers the merits of sincerely held acid tabs, and we’ll show the conclave a bold way forward.

In this week’s episode, The pope was dying to meet JD Vance, Donald Trump celebrates the resurrection of the messiah with a "grind my gears" segment, and Noah tries to make Heath, Eli, and the listeners jealous for not going to AACon.

On this week's episode: The Trump administration starts their hunt for anti-Christian heffalumps ... A Christian pastor avoids the TSA sexuality trap by demanding a cavity search ... And Don Ford will be here to dig into the post-sassy-gay-Jesus portion of the Bible.

In this week’s episode, Christians find the only thing harder to apologize for than God, a church in England fires up Sunday Morning Raw, and we’ll finally close the book on CS Lewis.

In this week’s episode, Satan comes to Kansas, George Pell will get uncomfortably close to a child, one last time, and Marsh will tickle the dragon’s tale.

In this week’s episode, Republicans solidify their position on HARM, Pete Hegseth teaches us about the butt dialing group chat section from The Art of War, and Jonathan Jarry will be here to convince you that Joseph Mercola actually is nuttier than you thought.

In this week’s episode, Robert Morris LEAPS ahead of Philip in last name assholery, we learn from a SECRET Vatican document that the future is actually now, and we’ll finally get to the first book of the Bible named after a toilet.

On this week's episode: Even the outbreaks are bigger in Texas ... Moms For Liberty opens a narcing hotline for anyone who needs any stitches ... And we’ll say all the words Trump doesn’t want us to.

On this week’s episode: Beating kids in Oklahoma is all about inclusion ... Devout Catholics back that ash up to kick off Lent ... And Cecil helps us get to know someone who never gets to know.

In this week’s episode, we’ll get good news about pews from Pew, British Bishops make an illegal move, and we’ll learn who’s succeeding Cardinal Pell as Australia’s worst living person.

In this week’s extended-edition episode, we’ll search Amazon for theocracy stopping backpacks, JD Vance goes to Germany and says what he will about the tenets of national socialism, and we’ll watch a Christian grift video that Oral Roberts would say is a little much.

In this week’s episode, Donald Trump checks under Christianity's bed for monsters, the decor at Mar-a-Lago is getting pretty goatse, and Jesus will get downright parabular. Which is apparently a real word.

In this week’s episode, Washington and Montana break god’s super best friend promise, a new bill in Mississippi aims to teach people that erections have consequences, and the answer to “who dat?” turns out to be way worse than we thought.

In this week’s episode, the church begs for mercy too liberally, God maintains the streak of perfect inattendance, and we’ll see what the other side of the aisle has to offer us.

In this week’s episode, Donald trump ORDERS trans people to stop existing, a Tennessee local ordinance demands the CORRECT version of dumb plastic crap on your lawn, and American Atheists’ legal director Geoffrey Blackwell will be here to tell us exactly how fucked we are.

In this week’s episode, the Christian god does a bunch of fire smiting, Atheist groups finally get rid of that expired ketchup in the back of fridge, and the Bible will still be yammering on about that Jesus guy.

In this week’s episode, the State of the Union is BAAAAAAAD, Pope Francis may have accidentally opened a Morning Stargate, and we’ll learn that “flat” is only one of the incorrect earth shapes available to believe in.

In this week’s episode, Congress has as many atheists as it does chances not to end our civilization, we learn if it's gay for men to have hetero sex with their wives, and Michael Marshall will be here to woo you.

In this week’s episode, Tiny Tim is at the center of RFK Junior’s vision board, flat earthers put their heads where the sun don't shine AND where it always shines, and Don Ford will be here for a few Biblical reshoots.

In this week’s episode, Christians reject our adorable Satanic gnomes, our next chief of public health takes a fake shower like 8-year-old me trying to trick my mom, and CS Lewis will prove himself to be as bad at math as he is at analogies.

In this week’s episode, we’ll warm some old headlines up for leftovers, Heath pushes new boundaries on the surface tension of stuffing, and we’ll follow up a week off with a week … kinda off.