Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

In this deeply personal episode, I share my own journey through the challenges of parenting a son struggling with anger and substance abuse. In this crossover episode with People Who Suffer, Andrew McKee interviews me for a change and I’ll walk you through the first signs of my son’s struggles and how my emotions became entangled with his; when he was angry, I was angry. When he was upset, I was upset.The situation escalated when my son confessed his substance use, disappeared emotionall...

Why do our teens keep falling back into old habits?Whether it’s big changes like making healthier life choices or smaller ones like working out more, change is hard! But why? Why is change so hard? And at the same time, it’s also hard to watch someone go through the stages of change, isn’t it? When your struggling teen knows their behavior isn’t working for them anymore and they want to change, they’ve taken an incredibly important step in the process of change, but they’re not there yet...

What can you do as a parent when your teen is refusing therapy? Or when your kid stops engaging in therapy?I have a question for you, parent: Do you know WHY your struggling teen doesn’t want to go to therapy (anymore)? “I think most people really want to rise to what level they can and there’s probably something significant in the way if they’re not rising to that point” - Trevor AllenToday’s guest, Trevor Allen, helps us see beyond therapy refusal and take a collaborative approach with...

What do you do when things aren’t working and it feels like there’s nothing left to be done?Whether your teen is isolating themselves in their room, refusing to go to school, self-harming, refusing to eat, refusing therapy, or any other negative pattern you find yourself in with your struggling teen, we sometimes reach the point where it feels like there’s nothing else we can do.You can’t control your teen. You can’t make them go to school or make them stop using substances. And that can feel...

Should you support your teen in college if he’s still using? Or let your daughter go to prom when she’s still breaking curfew?You want to support your teen in healthy behaviors but how do you go about that when they’re still showing maladaptive behaviors? You don’t want to take away activities that have a positive, healthy impact on your teen but at the same time don’t want to ‘reward’ them while they’re still breaking your home agreement, right?In this episode, Seth and I discuss how you can...

Going back to old patterns is part of the process. In a perfect world, we’d change our behavior and never make the same mistake again. And so would our struggling teens. But perfection doesn’t exist, and there’s no such thing as a magic switch that makes everything work out perfectly all of a sudden. I know how hard it is to experience a setback yourself or see your teen go through it. But one thing that Seth and I would like you to walk away with today, is that a setback doesn’t me...

Are you allowing your child to learn through failure? There’s a thin line between offering safety and comfort. Just like safety, offering comfort to your kid is a way of protection. It’s a way to protect your child so they don’t have to experience the hardships and difficulties that you had to go through yourself. But is it really in your child’s best interest to keep them from experiencing unsuccessful events?“By preventing it, you’re also enabling it” - Seth GottliebOur children don’t ...

When does your help start to hinder your teen’s growth?As parents, we want to help our kids as much as possible and protect them from discomfort. It seems like our generation has taken this belief to an extreme though. Did you know that the age at which parents allow their kids to go out and explore the world by themselves autonomously (for example by letting them go to the grocery store by themselves to pick up a few items) has almost doubled in just one generation!?But the world has changed...

Listening is the key that unlocks understanding and it allows us to be more helpful to our teens (and others!). So how can we become better listeners? Not only to our struggling teens, our children, but to everyone around us?“The more I let go of what I think my adult children should or shouldn’t do, the more they have taken accountability for their actions in their life” - Beth HillmanI see it all the time (and believe me, I’ve been there too!): parents who are trying to convince their teen ...

How can you help your teen become more independent?This one simple question will help you boost your parenting skills for daily decision-making.Parenting is an interesting thing… One day our child is completely dependent on us and we’re in charge of everything. Then they grow up and it’s hard to know what we’re still in charge of and what not. How can we best support them to become independent young adults?I can tell you one thing: We step in way more than we need to. “We need to help th...

How can you help your struggling teen take more accountability? What can you do to help your teen understand choice, consequence, and accountability? Those are the questions Seth and I will be exploring in today’s episode.[Struggling to set boundaries & consequences? Check out my free guide to help you create your own Parent Home Plan 🗺️]Our brain likes going into defense mode. It’s what it does automatically. With conscious work, we can catch ourselves there (and teach our strugglin...

How can you prepare for your teen to come home after treatment?Last week’s guest mom of a teen struggling with his mental health, suicidal ideation, and self-harm is back and we dive deeper into the journey after treatment, and the lessons she learned (and is learning) in order to come to her own way of being so she can be the best parent she can be.“Letting him figure his life out has been imperative” - Today’s guest momWhat challenges did her son’s return home after treatment bring with it?...

“We were mentally panicked. We didn’t want our kid to die and we didn’t know what to do.”Today's episode will hit close to home for many of you. We're diving into the raw and real journey of a mother facing her son's struggles with mental health, including suicidal ideation and self-harm.She reflects on her son growing up as an emotionally needy child, things getting rougher when he became a teenager, and eventually escalating after an event that happened at school during his sophomore year. ...

80. What to Do When Your Teen Is Stuck in Unhealthy Behavior?Have you ever found yourself in that heart-wrenching place where you're watching your child or young adult spiral into unhealthy behaviors? Seth and I know that pain all too well, both from our professional experiences and personal journeys.Today, we delve deep into the complexities of this tough subject. We don’t just offer practical advice, but also share our own struggles: Listen to Seth recounting his own experiences when h...

Ever noticed your brain filling with worst-case scenarios when you have limited information on what’s happening? We’ve all been there. It’s what our brains do. But why? And how can we make sure we’re not parenting out of fear?In this episode, Seth and I explore the concept of fear-based parenting and the tendency to jump to negative conclusions when faced with unknown situations. Both in times of crisis and in everyday parenting, we often have access to limited information, left to fill in th...

Collaborating with your child on technology habits, can you imagine?Or your child making the decision to put down their game console and go for a run instead, not because ‘mom’s been nagging about it’ but because it’s what they want themselves?In this second part of my interview with Emily, we’re diving deeper into how you can collaborate with your teen about their own technology habits. [Haven’t listened to part 1 of this interview yet? Have a listen to episode #77 first!]Listen as Emil...

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the constant battle to manage your children's screen time? Maybe you worry that it’s too late?Today’s guest, Emily Jones, is the brain behind Family Tech University and shares her insights with us today on how to approach this modern parenting dilemma. She emphasized that while it's crucial for parents to set effective boundaries around technology use and provide guidance, it's equally essential to empower our kids to develop their own internal filter when ...

How can you shift your parenting focus from your children's behaviors to understanding the emotions and needs driving those behaviors?We know how easy it can be to fall into the trap of focusing solely on your child’s behavior. It’s what you see, what’s on the forefront, and it’s so easy to notice: whether they wake up in time, their grades, etc. Combine this with the fear and uncertainty that being a parent can bring sometimes and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. So in those moments, let’...

How can I not rescue, and not enable, and at the same time not leave my kid completely in the dark when they’re struggling?This is the question we’re going to dive into in today’s episode.As a parent, it’s SO hard to see your kid struggling and not knowing how to help. I’ve been there, and I know it’s beyond a nightmare. You’re fearful of doing the wrong thing. Fearful of doing nothing. You’re trying your absolute best but it’s hard to understand the tipping point between what is kind an...

How can you support your teen with their college applications without writing every single essay for them?If you have a graduating senior in the house, this question has probably crossed your mind. Are they actually writing their essays? Are they putting in enough effort? How much should you bug them about it?Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, MD, found that the more she bugged her son about it, the more counterproductive it became. It can lead to more fights between you and your kid,...

Are you choosing to suffer?Pain is part of life – we can’t avoid it. Today’s guest, Maggie Kang, experienced this first-hand when her 9-year-old daughter got diagnosed with a rare disease. The pain this brought was inevitable. But there’s a difference between pain and suffering. Suffering happens when we resist the pain.By resisting to accept what was going on and that this was their new reality, and feeling the need to blame someone (mostly herself), Maggie caused herself to suffer. Until sh...

How do you respond when your kid is feeling sad? Will you try to fix things for them? Help them out? It might feel like the right thing to do but you’re sending out a different message than you likely intended.Seeing your kid struggle with their emotions is hard for many reasons. You want to make them feel better. Sometimes, you might even be running out of empathy because you feel like they ‘should be over it by now’. And it gets especially hard when the behavior looks similar to pre-wildern...

How do you live with your teen who’s using? And how do you know whether your behavior as a parent is supportive or enabling? There’s a fine line between the two… As if that isn’t hard enough to figure out already, additionally, many parents are afraid of losing the relationship they have with their teen by having hard conversations or sticking to their boundaries. It’s a difficult subject, and an even more difficult situation to be in, so what better place to talk about it than here...

School and academics can cause a lot of tension in your household. No matter your good intentions or whether or not you have the skills and knowledge to help your teen with their school work, getting guidance and encouragement from you can be triggering for them.On the other hand, it can also cause a lot of frustration for you as the parent when you see your child’s behavior around schoolwork. It can be hard to not let judgment shine through in your communication, which raises the emotions fo...

What would it feel like if you just got to love your child at the dinner table instead of having conflicts over due dates or presentations? To be able to take that completely out of the equation? An Executive Function coach might be exactly what your family needs.Chrissy Nichols is an Executive Function coach who specializes in helping teens reintegrate into traditional learning environments. So what does that mean exactly?In short, executive functioning is all about learning self-regulation ...

The journey your teen is on isn’t an easy one. They’re trying to make healthier choices, also when it comes to the people they hang out with. As a parent, you might feel relief when your child decides to cut ties with a ‘bad influence’, making it hard for you to empathize with them. But remember that it’s a completely different experience for them.Even if your teen realizes that this person they’re cutting ties with isn’t a good person to be around anymore, it isn’t an easy process for them t...

Christmas is around the corner and brings along a certain level of stress and anxiety in parents and teens alike. We want the holidays to be fun and merry and have a lot of expectations about what it will or should be like. But when not everything turns out the way we expected, it’s those expectations that bring frustration and disappointment.Join Seth and me today in our conversation about expectations for the holidays. What do we think might happen? What desires do we have? What expectation...

Backburner issues: those little things we’re annoyed about but feel too small or irrelevant to discuss. So we put them on the backburner where they keep growing and growing until they become this big issue in our relationship. Sounds familiar? In this second part of my interview with Tanya Hale, who’s an incredible mid-life relationship coach, she shares her formula for talking about backburner issues. Because here’s how she sees it: We don’t want to be mean. We want to be peacekeepers. ...

Are you parenting your kid as a team or does it feel more like you’re in the boxing ring with the other parent, trying to prove that you’re right and they’re wrong?When emotions run high, it’s sometimes hard to acknowledge that you’re on the same team as the other parent. Instead of sitting down and listening to each other, we automatically shift towards an ‘I’m right and you’re wrong’ mindset. What if I tell you that it can be different?My dear friend and incredible mid-life relationshi...

How much support is too much? There’s a therapist, a tutor, an EF coach, maybe a mentor, and a basketball coach, and sometimes our kids are just like: ‘That’s enough!’. We must figure out how to listen to them and still give them the support they need. At a certain point, we need to give our kids the time and space to implement what they've learned, make mistakes and learn from them, and practice being independent young adults. So when is it the right time for this for your child?Every s...

Wilderness isn’t bad, nor good. Hard, nor easy. A blessing, nor a curse. These are the thoughts we might have, but they’re not the facts. In this episode, I’m (re)introducing the concept of facts versus thoughts (in other words, the stories we make up in our minds) in the concept of our wilderness experiences. The experience of wilderness is made up of a lot of facts: whether your kid was transported there or not, whether they went voluntarily or not, the weather when they were ther...

Sending your kid away to treatment often comes with a lot of shame. The shame of not being a good enough parent, not being the person that can help them, and so on. This inner critic shows up in your head and can be incredibly loud, right?I’m continuing my conversation with David Bedrick and we invite you to have a different look at this inner critic and the blame and shame we put on the decisions we’ve made. Because what is it really giving you? Is it helpful for you to blame yourself? Is it...

As a parent, one of the hard things is living with regrets. We’re trying our best to make the right decisions for our children and always do the right thing but none of us is perfect. When I took David Bedrick’s Unshaming course, it completely changed the way I see myself and some of my past actions as a parent. It truly changed my life. So without him knowing, he became a mentor to me. So it goes without words that I’m beyond excited to be talking to him today on Parenting Post-Wilderne...

But Beth, how can I de-escalate my teen when they’re blaming me for something I’ve actually done?It was one of my clients asking me this the other day. And I know she’s not alone, hearing things like:“My basketball career is ruined because you sent me to treatment”“I’m losing my friends because you don’t allow me to use my phone”And yes, you DID send them to treatment. And you DID take their phone. But does that really mean it’s your fault? (Spoiler alert: often it’s not)In today’s episode, S...

Let’s continue our conversation on how to de-escalate ourselves and take the conversation a bit deeper. Inspired by a Brene Brown interview, Seth and I explore the importance of communicating our levels of regulation to our partners. What do each of us, at this exact moment, have the bandwidth for? We only have so much energy in the day, and knowing our own energy levels and communicating it with our partner, can help us acknowledge what we can and cannot deal with in the moment.That is just ...

When emotions run high, it’s not just our teens that need de-escalation. We do too. Learning how to de-escalate yourself and regulate your emotions can be revolutionary in your life and relationship with your teen. It sure was for me. It might seem unattainable right now (I’ve been there), but you can do it too. Believe me, you can! Let me guide you through it in today’s episode.In this episode on de-escalating yourself, we discuss:My journey in learning to de-escalate myself;The exact t...

We’re not just responsible for our kids, we’re also responsible for teaching them how to be responsible for themselves. We want to teach our kids how to solve their own problems and be self-reliant and self-governing.I get it. It’s SO hard not to intervene when you see your teen trying to figure something out by themselves, taking the long route, and making mistakes as they go. But if you’re constantly rescuing them to provide that comfort, you’re not teaching them how to problem solve and be...

The tension is building and the situation is starting to escalate from bad to worse. We’ve all been there, haven’t we? As easy as it is to join our teens in this escalation, they need us to be regulated and available in order to de-escalate. Opening up the conversation helps us create a deeper connection and enables both sides to open up a bit more about what’s going on and their perspective on the situation. “If you have somebody in front of you who is completely dysregulated, you are g...

Sometimes it’s hard to trust our teen’s journey. We might not be able to visibly see the progress our teen is going through, even though it surely is happening. At the same time, we have our own ideas of what our teen’s progress should look like.When you hold on to your ideas of what progress should look like, and where your teen should be, the progress can seem slow. We’re inviting you to look at things differently. How can you start trusting your teen’s journey? This is what Seth and I are ...

Ready to start creating your very own Parent Home Plan? Don’t worry, you don’t have to start from scratch, because I’m sharing my Parent Home Plan Template with you for free! Click here for your free copy of my Parent Home Plan template!In this episode on creating your parent home plan, we discuss:The ins and outs of my Parent Home Plan template [Get yours for free on www.bethhillmancoaching.com/homeplan];The ultimate goal to keep in mind while setting up your Home Plan;Make sure to keep...

We’re a few episodes into our mini-series on boundaries and creating a Parent Home Plan to be consistent and follow through on your boundaries. Now, we’re getting closer to the actualization of your own home plan! In today’s episode, I’m going to walk you through the three phases of building your Home Plan:Phase 1: PreparationPhase 2: StructurePhase 3: Follow throughHave a listen to prepare yourself for next week’s episode where we'll be walking through my Parent Home Plan template together. ...

Moments of disagreement are perfectly normal when there are more than one person involved in raising a (struggling) teen. One parent wants to implement a certain boundary, while the other doesn’t. One parent wants to be more strict, while the other prefers a looser approach. Today, I want to propose some ideas to you about ‘same page parenting’, as I’d like to call it. Before we dive in, it’s important to understand that being on the same page, doesn’t mean you have to agree on every wor...

Let’s get into action parents! Today we’re talking all about setting the stage to create a parent home plan that actually works! If there is one takeaway from this episode, it’s this: Boundaries are not a way to control your teen. They’re a way to control yourself. They’re a way to take up your role as a parent and lead.The change begins with us, parents. This is it. Doing our work first, getting to a loving, healthy space so we can create loving and effective boundaries for our kids (&a...

Some people think that being a parent coach means I have it all figured out. Hah! I’ll tell you about a situation that happened just last week that will show you how untrue this is!Even though I’m a coach, and Seth’s a mentor, we’re not done. We’re still a work in progress. And we always will be. But by being intentional, and realizing the growth we’ve been through, we can learn to find joy, even in hard moments.Life gets hard sometimes, and breaking the cycle of old habits and patterns isn’t...

Many parents confuse setting boundaries with requests or expectations but they are not the same. The way you phrase your boundaries and present them to your teen is incredibly important. Let’s learn more about these common pitfalls in setting boundaries in today’s episode!In this episode on common pitfalls in setting boundaries, we discuss:Understanding the difference between boundaries, requests and expectations;Recognizing when it’s not a boundary issue;Common pitfalls when it comes to sett...

Are you having trouble setting healthy boundaries with your teen and actually sticking to them? If you are, you’re not alone! It’s one of the topics I get the most questions on, and I used to be the worst at it myself! But I can tell you this: Setting boundaries and following through with the consequences is in the best interest of your whole family. Setting boundaries is one of my favorite topics to talk about so you can expect more episodes on this topic in the upcoming weeks...

I’m continuing my conversation with Les Harris, wilderness therapist and LCW, who has some incredible insights to share about the importance of listening to the feedback our children give us.Let’s start with an important reminder: none of us are perfect. We all mess up from time to time, and that's totally okay. Now, here's a game-changer: listening to our kids' feedback. By truly hearing them out and understanding their underlying message, we can better meet their emotional, physical, a...

Today, I’m joined by Les Harris, a wilderness therapist and LCW to talk about the things we can do as parents before thinking of sending our kids to wilderness. Here’s one thing both Les and I know to be true:A regulated parent has the ability to regulate a dysregulated child.Isn’t that what we all want to be able to do?If this feels unattainable for you right now, know that it’s not. You can see this episode as a first stepping stone toward the parent you want to be.In this episode on regula...

How often do you wake up and your mind starts racing about all the things you have to do that day, leaving you paralyzed? How many times do you start thinking of everything that needs to be done this week, leaving you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted?When tasks or to-do lists seem long and overwhelming, it can become hard to accomplish even the smallest tasks. This is the case for all of us, and maybe even more for those of us with ADHD. Today, we share a very simple but often overlooke...

What advice would a wilderness guide give us parents? That’s a question we’ll get answered today. Mark Adamski is back with invaluable advice about parenting and our relationship with our teens. With the right mindset, anything in a relationship can be fixed. That’s how Mark sees it and I couldn’t agree more. So what does this mindset entail? What do we need to do as parents to heal our relationship with our struggling teen? Have a listen to today’s episode to hear all of Mark’s top tips...

Being the sibling of a teen that’s struggling and goes to treatment isn’t easy. Mark Adamski, who is now a wilderness guide himself, experienced this first-hand. In today’s episode, he shares his experiences when his brother went to treatment for substance abuse and how this eventually led Mark to become a wilderness guide.Mark is sharing his story of becoming a wilderness guide and shares some golden nuggets we need in order to understand our teen. Have a listen!In this episode on going from...

Every one of us has about 80.000 thoughts each day. Most of our life is created with our minds. And the more we have a specific thought, the more it tends to become a belief. So, what if you’re having negative thoughts about your teen? What if thoughts like ‘I just really don’t like my kid right now’ or ‘I can hardly stand my kid right now’ have crossed your mind? Believe me when I say, you’re not alone. Besides, these are actually very natural thoughts to have in any kind of relationship.In ...

If your teen is coming up to their sobriety anniversary, or even their anniversary of going to or coming home from wilderness, you might feel the need to celebrate. But should we indeed celebrate during those anniversaries or does your teen need something else instead?With his own 5-year sobriety anniversary coming up, Seth shared his perspective with me: his sobriety anniversary doesn’t feel like a time for celebration at all. Tune in to hear why!In this episode on sobriety and wilderness an...

Is it time for your kid to go back to high school after treatment? Maybe the transition back to school will run flawlessly. For many families though, returning back to regular high school isn’t the preferred option. Or possibly it’s simply not working. Online education might be an excellent solution!Today, I’m interviewing Anjilee and Sara, co-founders of Mountain Point Academy, an online school for grades 6-12 that likes to do things a bit differently. Their personalized approach can offer y...

Feelings can be described as a vibration we experience in our bodies. Often we think that those feelings are involuntary and caused by life circumstances out of our control. But actually, our feelings are caused by what we think. And the good thing about this is that we can control our thoughts pretty well! The pause is a space we can create in order to feel our feelings BEFORE we react to them. A space of allowance and acceptance of those feelings. A space to take ownership of what happ...

Today, we’re talking about burnout, and more specifically, therapeutic burnout in both parents and teens. Not many people realize therapeutic burnout is a thing so let’s have a look at what it is and where it comes from.In this episode on therapeutic burnout in parents and teens, we discuss:Seth’s experiences with therapeutic burnout;What therapeutic burnout looks like from the outside;The negative mindset of always needing to be progressing forward;What therapeutic burnout is like for a teen...

Implementing parenting tools as preventative measures, even before things get out of hand, is absolutely invaluable when it comes to parenting a struggling teen. Changing the environment, being able to regulate your own emotions differently, being able to relate to your kid’s emotions and reason with your kid differently, are all skills that can be learned. Today’s guest, Laura Goldstein, has developed an incredibly valuable resource for parents to learn these tools which they can employ...

If you’re familiar with my work or have listened to my podcast before, you know how I strive to help parents see their own part and take responsibility for it. Today I’m having such a valuable conversation around this with my guest, Laura Goldstein, LMFT. She shares some amazing metaphors that will really help shift the way we think and show us the role parents play in their family’s dynamics and their child’s behavior.Laura also provides us with a very clear explanation of different kinds of...

We’re rounding up our Wilderness series with this episode on transitioning your child home after wilderness or other treatment. Don’t forget parents, wilderness (or treatment) is not a one-stop-fix for anything. Once your child comes home, a new chapter of your family’s journey begins. In this episode on transitioning your child home from wilderness, we discuss:Beth’s story of transitioning her son home;The reasons why Beth and her family decided to bring her son directly home from wilde...

Have you already thought about what’s going to happen once wilderness is over? It’s a tough decision that every wilderness parent is faced with. It might feel overwhelming or you might even feel like you don’t have any options at all. But I want you to know that you do have options to choose from! This episode will help you make the best decision for your teen and your family!In this episode on options to consider after wilderness therapy, we discuss:Many different options to consider fo...

Parent Trish is back to share her experiences when her severely depressed and suicidal young-adult son came back from wilderness. It didn’t take long for things to go downhill and her son to become suicidal again. As a family, they decided on one agreement that works for them and that changed everything. This agreement is sending a very powerful message to her son and reflects exactly what Trish has learned along the way. Tune in to find out more!In this parent interview, we discuss:Trish’s e...

Today’s parent, Trish, got her severely depressed and suicidal, young-adult son to choose to go to wilderness. We hear her journey of offering wilderness to her just 18-year-old son and what got him to go. She openheartedly shares her relief when he was there, her experience when he ran away, and the disappointment she felt after wilderness.Trish is full of great advice for parents and I’m super excited to share it all with you! In this parent interview, we discuss:Her son’s challenges a...

Even though the things that are happening and the behavior your child is showing aren’t your fault, you do have a role to play in it. And if your child comes back from wilderness into the exact same environment and you haven’t worked on anything while they were away, your family will most likely be back where you were before wilderness in no-time.So what can you work on while your child is in wilderness or any other therapy program? And how do you go about this? That’s exactly what we’ll be t...

You’ve decided wilderness will be the best next step for your family to take. But there are so many programs out there and every family has their own, unique needs. You’re gonna want to find the right fit. In this episode, we’ll walk you through the best ways and places to gather information about specific wilderness programs so you can find the best fit for your family. And if you’re unsure what questions to ask, we’ve got you covered!In this episode on finding the best program for your...

Expectations can be tricky, and so also when it comes to wilderness. To avoid going in with the wrong expectations as much as possible, we’re going to share with you today what wilderness is and what it is not so you can have realistic expectations before deciding whether or not it is the best option for your family.Wilderness is not for everyone but it can be the reset your teen and family needs in life. Tune in to today’s episode to hear all our thoughts about what wilderness is and is not ...

There’s so much to say about transport, so let’s continue our conversation with Gabriela Deambrosio! We talk about everything you need to know about transportation to wilderness and what things to consider. You might be surprised by my own story about my son’s transport to wilderness.In the second part of the episode, we talk about the power of language and how the language many people use around transportation and the therapeutic field affects people’s view on it.In this episode on transport...

If last week’s episode on how to get your teen to wilderness left you with a few more questions on the topic, you’re in luck! The next two episodes, I’m joined by Education Consultant Gabriela Deambrosio to talk about everything transport and the role of Education Consultants.In this episode on transport options and education consultants, we discuss:The role of an Education Consultant & what they can help with;When would a family hire an Education Consultant?;What does working with an Edu...

So, you’ve made the decision you want to send your teen to wilderness. Now what?In this 4th episode in our wilderness series, we’ll walk you through your options for actually getting your teen to wilderness. Because even though you might not feel like you have a choice right now, there really are options. Generally speaking, your two options are to (1) force your child to go, or (2) give them a choice to go. We’ll walk you through the pros and cons of each of them and in what situations one o...

When you’re considering wilderness for your teen, undoubtedly a lot of fears and concerns will come up. What if wilderness will only make things worse?What if my child will never forgive me?What will people think?And so on…It is so normal to think these thoughts and feel these fears! Today, we will walk you through these and other common concerns and what you can actually do with them.If you’d like to connect, you can find me on Instagram (@bethhillmancoaching) or go to my website www.be...

Listen up, parents! Today we’re hearing from a teen who’s been through it all and she’s sharing such amazing insights!Evan shares her story leading up to wilderness and how wilderness helped her change her life and gain self-worth. We also discuss her relapse and how the support systems and everything she learned helped her out again. Curious to hear her advice to parents? Or how’s she’s doing now? Let’s jump into the episode!In this teen interview, we discuss:Amazing pieces of advice given b...

Welcome back to the Wilderness Series! In this second episode, we’re discussing the factors that might indicate that it’s time to send your teen to wilderness. How do you know it’s the right time? Making the decision to send your teen to wilderness can be a very difficult one and even though we can’t tell you exactly when is the best time, in this episode we aim to help you make the best decision for you and your teen.In this second episode of the wilderness series, we discuss:The decision to...

A podcast series specifically going over all the ins and outs of wilderness therapy - How does that sound!? I decided to answer all of the questions parents have around wilderness in a special series here on the Parenting Post-Wilderness podcast and share thoughts, ideas and information about wilderness specifically. It’s been around for decades and has received both negative and positive attention. Seth and I are going to shed some light on the ins and outs of wilderness from our experiences...

Today, we’re continuing our conversation with Casie Fariello & we dive deeper into her son’s experience of going to wilderness and how he looks back at it now. Both Casie’s son and Seth agree that it’s not a black-and-white experience.After going through the process of wilderness, boarding school and eventually transitioning her son home, Casie founded a peer-led, online support group for parents of children struggling with mental health and/or substances: OPLM.com.In this parent intervie...

Going through life struggling with ADHD, Casie's son developed a core feeling of worthlessness. As a coping strategy, he turned to drugs, started running away from home, and even attempted suicide.“It took wilderness to get him to the point where he cared that he lived” - Casie FarielloWe’re so grateful to have Casie Fariello, parent of three and owner and founder of Other Parents Like Me (OPLM.com), on the podcast today to share her story and experiences around her son’s addiction and ...

As parents, we often have a good idea of what we want for our children and what we think is best for them. On the other hand, we have the child, who wants to walk their own journey and make their own decisions. It’s a tricky and nuanced topic and I can’t wait for you to hear my conversation with Seth about it. In this episode on parents’ agenda vs. child’s personal journey we discuss:What makes this conflict so hard;The parents’ and child’s perspectives;The conflict it brings to the chil...

Parent Rebecca is back to talk about what it was like bringing her daughter home directly from wilderness. What did it feel like? What were some of the conflicts in the first few weeks of her being home? At this moment, her daughter has been home for 1.5 years. It’s safe to say it has been a bumpy road. But what is it like now?’In this episode parent interview, we discuss:What the first couple of weeks after wilderness were like;Cellphone use after wilderness;The commitment of taking your kid...

We’re back with another parent interview in which Rebecca shares her story of sending her young daughter to wilderness. Rebecca openheartedly shares how her daughter showed out-of-bound behavior throughout her entire life, even when she was a baby. Things eventually took a turn for the worse and Rebecca and her husband decided to send their daughter to wilderness. In this episode parent interview, we discuss:Rebecca’s experiences in sending her young daughter to wilderness;Learning to un...

Do you ever feel in your gut that you should or shouldn’t do something, but you then take the opposite route? You ignore your inner knowing, overthink, look for justifications and betray yourself.Even though we are instinctual beings, we live in a society that teaches us that we’re not. And it takes practice to start listening to our instincts again and to build the skill of listening to our own inner knowing. In this episode on self-betrayal, we discuss:What does self-betrayal mean?;Ign...

So many well-intentioned therapists and people in the therapeutic industry suggest using ‘I feel’ statements to parents and families. What I see though, is that they’re not working. I want to shout from the rooftops: STOP THE ‘I FEEL’ STATEMENTS! But during my conversation with Seth, I realized it’s not about using them but it’s about the way we use them. So how are we currently misusing ‘I feel’ statements and how and when can we use them in an appropriate and effective way? That’s what we d...

The process and struggle doesn’t just stop after wilderness. In this second part of my interview with single parent Amy, we talk about the journey she and her daughter went through after wilderness. Their journey was full of ups and downs and looking back, Amy wishes she had made some different choices. In this parent interview we discuss:How Amy coped with the ups and downs;The various treatment programs Amy’s daughter went through after wilderness;Dealing with the what-ifs;What Amy has...

Today, I’m interviewing a single mom named Amy whose daughter suffered from depressive thoughts, anxiety, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. After trying several interventions at home like anti-depressants and PHP (Partial Hospitalization Program), Amy decided to send her just 15-year-old daughter to wilderness, followed by several treatment programs. Amy talks about how she discovered her emotionally enmeshed pattern with her daughter and how she learned to step back from being an emotio...

Enmeshment is a term to describe a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear. Getting out of an enmeshment pattern is all about taking responsibility for your own part. But let’s be real, that’s not easy. That’s because your brain is in defense mode. It’s trying to protect you by blaming the other because it does not want to do the work itself.We want to start holding our boundaries. But how do we get there? In today’s episode, I’ll dive de...

As parents, we tend to think we know what’s best for our teens. And guess what? Our teens think in the same way. “If my parents would only do xyz…” In the moment, blaming someone else feels easier than taking responsibility. It’s human but it isn’t helpful.We want to make the shift from being reactive to being responsive. In today’s episode, Seth and I share small, actionable steps you can take to start taking accountability for your own part.In this episode on taking accountability for our o...

How do you take space for yourself to process everything life throws at you when you feel depleted and your bucket is empty? That’s what I’m talking about today with Seth Gottlieb. Life happens. Varying from regular life stressors to having children or loved ones making really tough choices. It can leave us feeling thinned out and those tend to be the moments we act from a place of reaction instead of taking the time to process. Even though taking this time to feel our feelings is exactl...

We’re back with the second part of the parent interview with Sandi and Don, parents of a post-wilderness teen. If you haven’t listened to the first part of my interview with Sandi and Don, go check out the previous episode first. Sandi and Don decided to bring their son directly home from wilderness and today we discuss what happened once their son was back home. We talk about:What was it like once their son returned home from wilderness?;The reason behind old behaviours returning;Their ...

It was just hell on earth. That’s how Sandi describes their home situation before she and her husband Don sent their son to wilderness.This episode is for you if you are researching options to help your struggling teen, considering wilderness for your kid, or if your kid is currently in wilderness.In this parent interview with Sandi and Don, we discuss:What it felt like sending their son to wilderness;The fears they felt regarding wilderness;What it was like when their son was away;Their expe...

Is your teen refusing to go to school? Or maybe they refuse to make their homework? Today, we’re diving deep into the why behind school refusal and the emotions driving this behavior so we as parents can begin to understand where this behavior of refusing school is coming from and how to deal with it. You see, school refusal has everything to do with emotions. It’s our nervous system’s way to avoid uncomfortable feelings and keep us safe. So how do we deal with this situation as parents?...

Let’s talk about something we ALL do but should stop immediately. I’m talking about creating worst-case scenario stories in our heads that get us spiraling into unhelpful thoughts, feelings, and actions instead of staying with the facts.In this week’s episode, we’ll talk about the difference between circumstances (facts) and stories (thoughts); the power of thoughts, why our brain makes up stories, the reason why the stories we tell ourselves are unhelpful, and of course how to start separati...

What does the journey through Wilderness Therapy look like from the parent’s perspective? In this second part of our interview with parent Amy, we discuss the ins and outs of Wilderness Therapy: before, during, and after. How did Amy and her husband decide which program would be best for their son? What did the process look like of actually getting him to the Wilderness program? What was this process like for Amy as the parent? What was the hardest part? And what happened after Wildernes...

Today, we’re interviewing Amy, who’s sharing her experiences as a mom who sent her teen to wilderness therapy. Amy’s son started out as a happy, bubbly kid but when he reached puberty, he started getting more moody and depressed. Things took a turn for the worse and he started using video games as a coping mechanism. Slowly, she saw her bright son become withdrawn and miserable to be with. In this first part of the interview with Amy, we’re honing in on their home situation before w...

We all do it frequently but it can be one of the most stressful situations. Yep, we’re talking about driving in a car with your struggling teen. Whether it’s because you as a parent feel stressed, your struggling teen is showing maladaptive behaviors, or a specifically stressful situation occurs, when things get heated while driving, it can feel like you have no way out. In the heat of the moment, your brain might tell you otherwise, but I’m here to tell you that you have options. Let’s ...

Your teen is struggling, showing maladaptive behaviors. Family dynamics are off. You’ve been trying to get them to change but nothing is working. But is that really the way to go? In this episode of Parenting Post-Wilderness, Seth and I are introducing the idea and mindset that change really does begin with us, parents. I’m sharing my own story of how I blamed my son for everything. It wasn’t until we brought him to wilderness that I began to learn and understand my part in this. And I k...

Do you feel like you’ve failed your struggling teen? You feel like you’re the only one, no one could possibly understand, and no one is able to help. Yeah, I’ve been there. And so have many, many other parents. And you know what? I was wrong. They were wrong. And so are you.In today’s episode, I don’t only tell you WHY we’re all wrong when we think no one can help but I’m also walking you through the mindset shift I made that changed everything. For me, for my struggling teen, and for ou...

Welcome to Parenting Post-wilderness!This podcast is your guide to parenting a struggling teen, whether they’re home, transitioning home, or presently in treatment. Parents, say goodbye to exhausting confusion, overwhelm and panic and the unhelpful patterns that keep you stuck. Learn how to develop healthy responses and boundaries instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. Experience the relationship-changing power of focusing on your own behavior instead of futile attempts to control your te...