The LASTING LOVE Podcast

"I don't know if I'm feeling it. I'm not sure if I'm attracted. I still notice attractive people. I worry that we're not having enough fun. I've felt stronger feelings in the past. I don't know if this will go anywhere, and I don't want to waste his time or mine. Should I stay, or should I go?"

Such doubts were common for Jana. Theo was an attractive guy who treated her great, so is the solution to find someone else, or can she resolve her doubts and create lasting love?

Discover how Alisa Goodwin Snell helped Jana answer this question and take action to create personal growth and relationship success! To receive expert advice that fits your situation, SCHEDULE a NEEDS ASSESSMENT with ALISA. 

Is it worth the time, inconvenience, and money to go to singles' cruises, vacations, or conferences when you rarely end up dating anyone you meet there? Also, what about your church, social events, and other hangout opportunities? Is it realistic to pursue dates at these activities?

This is Alisa Goodwin Snell with the LastingLoveAcademy.com. I have clients who go to events like these, and it's time that you benefit from the advice I give them so you can make the most of your social situations, too.

And, don't miss out on our previous podcast on, Want to be socially Accepted?

Singles frequently complain that dating apps don't work, there aren't attractive singles, all the good ones are married, and dating isn't fun. Additionally, they want to know what to do when someone wants to go Dutch. These were the questions and comments that Karen, a 38-year old divorced mother of three, had when she came in for her session this week.

This is Alisa Goodwin Snell with the Lasting Love Podcast. I have nearly 30 years of experience as a Marriage and Family Therapist, author, public speaker, and dating coach; thus, there's little that singles will say that I haven't heard before, and  I have solutions for all of them.

So you'll want to listen to the end because this podcast is full of the essential techniques that will make the difference between you being that person who goes on two and three dates a week or someone who despairs and quits.

I look forward to helping you too. Join me at LastingLoveAcademy.com to learn more. 

(podcast includes a downloadable workbook) 

We've all had painful experiences that feed our fears or make us doubt ourselves and our future. We fear that we'll fail, we can't have what others have, and we'll experience the same problems over and over again. We're scared of abuse, loss, abandonment, rejection, and betrayal. These anxieties keep us from being courageous, prevent us from putting ourselves out there, and affect our ability to confidently and securely respond to conflict. 

As a single mom with a 10-month old who struggled to provide for their needs while also recovering from a toxic short-term marriage, Alisa Goodwin Snell needed a solution to the painful thoughts and doubts that plagued her. The words of loving friends were not enough.She wanted to know the truth!It was this first stepthat became her most significant leap forward. The truths she learned transformed her fears, gave her a secure foundation, and helped her find the faith to believe that lasting love was possible for her!

So DON'T MISS this life-changing podcast on The Faith to Love and Be Loved, where Alisa shares the truths she and her clients used to transform their fears and relationships. With over 30 years of experience, both personally and professionally (as a Marriage and Family Therapist and Dating & Relationship Strategist), this podcast and the FREE Workbook Chapters (which you can ACCESS HERE) will help you find the TRUTHtoSET YOU FREE from YOUR FEARS too!

DOWNLOAD FREE WORKBOOK CHAPTERS

To ensure that you discover the truths you need for greater faith and a secure foundation, Alisa Goodwin Snell and the LastingLoveAcademy.com are providing FREE access to Chapter 2: Create Your Top-Ten List andChapter 3: Create Your Fears and Truths from the Become Secure Workbook.Click here to learn how you can access these Workbook Chapters.

SAVE $500 (for a limited time)

And for those who are ready to beALL-IN, you can GET 20% OFF (a $500 SAVINGS) on our comprehensive LastingLoveAcademy.com and coaching program when you use this link and coupon code: 20OFFALLIN.

Tim and Tara's struggle with creating and maintaining a secure attachment pattern was so tragic and sad because it was unfortunately too common. Neither of them was involved in toxic behavior (addictions, infidelity, dishonesty, or abuse), and they both loved each other passionately. Nevertheless, they didn't trust each other, and their conflicts made it seem that breaking up was the only way to find peace.

Discover the essential steps they took to shift from a fear-based relationship to a Lasting Love Model, one that helped them solve every problem they faced while also maintaining a secure attachment!

This is a 5 part series. Use the links below to access each podcast.

Part 1: You can be right or effective
Part 2: Grieving leads to acceptance and success
Part 3: From feeling fearful to being resilient
Part 4:  Their hidden needs
Part 5: From punishment and reward to attachment

Click here to view the original ZOOM SESSION.

If you're ready to begin your Lasting Love Journey, you can GET ACCESS to the LASTING LOVE ACADEMYor enjoy a personalized experience by SCHEDULING an INTAKE SESSION with ALISA and completing a thorough NEEDS ASSESSMENT. 

Lasting Love is not just a choice. It's a skill. So let's get started today!

Tim and Tara's struggle with creating and maintaining a secure attachment pattern was so tragic and sad because it was unfortunately too common. Neither of them was involved in toxic behavior (addictions, infidelity, dishonesty, or abuse), and they both loved each other passionately. Nevertheless, they didn't trust each other, and their conflicts made it seem that breaking up was the only way to find peace.

Discover the essential steps they took to shift from a fear-based relationship to a Lasting Love Model, one that helped them solve every problem they faced while also maintaining a secure attachment!

This is a 5 part series. Use the links below to access each podcast.

Part 1: You can be right or effective
Part 2: Grieving leads to acceptance and success
Part 3: From feeling fearful to being resilient
Part 4:  Their hidden needs
Part 5: From punishment and reward to attachment

Click here to view the original ZOOM SESSION.

If you're ready to begin your Lasting Love Journey, you can GET ACCESS to the LASTING LOVE ACADEMYor enjoy a personalized experience by SCHEDULING an INTAKE SESSION with ALISA and completing a thorough NEEDS ASSESSMENT.

Lasting Love is not just a choice. It's a skill. So let's get started today!

Tim and Tara's struggle with creating and maintaining a secure attachment pattern was so tragic and sad because it was unfortunately too common. Neither of them was involved in toxic behavior (addictions, infidelity, dishonesty, or abuse), and they both loved each other passionately. Nevertheless, they didn't trust each other, and their conflicts made it seem that breaking up was the only way to find peace.

Discover the essential steps they took to shift from a fear-based relationship to a Lasting Love Model, one that helped them solve every problem they faced while also maintaining a secure attachment!

This is a 5 part series. Use the links below to access each podcast.

Part 1: You can be right or effective
Part 2: Grieving leads to acceptance and success
Part 3: From feeling fearful to being resilient
Part 4:  Their hidden needs
Part 5: From punishment and reward to attachment

Click here to view the original ZOOM SESSION.

If you're ready to begin your Lasting Love Journey, you can GET ACCESS to the LASTING LOVE ACADEMYor enjoy a personalized experience by SCHEDULING an INTAKE SESSION with ALISA and completing a thorough NEEDS ASSESSMENT. 

Lasting Love is not just a choice. It's a skill. So let's get started today!

Tim and Tara's struggle with creating and maintaining a secure attachment pattern was so tragic and sad because it was unfortunately too common. Neither of them was involved in toxic behavior (addictions, infidelity, dishonesty, or abuse), and they both loved each other passionately. Nevertheless, they didn't trust each other, and their conflicts made it seem that breaking up was the only way to find peace.

Discover the essential steps they took to shift from a fear-based relationship to a Lasting Love Model, one that helped them solve every problem they faced while also maintaining a secure attachment!

This is a 5 part series. Use the links below to access each podcast.

Part 1: You can be right or effective
Part 2: Grieving leads to acceptance and success
Part 3: From feeling fearful to being resilient
Part 4:  Their hidden needs
Part 5: From punishment and reward to attachment

Click here to view the original ZOOM SESSION.

If you're ready to begin your Lasting Love Journey, you can GET ACCESS to the LASTING LOVE ACADEMYor enjoy a personalized experience by SCHEDULING an INTAKE SESSION with ALISA and completing a thorough NEEDS ASSESSMENT. 

Lasting Love is not just a choice. It's a skill. So let's get started today!

Tim and Tara's struggle with creating and maintaining a secure attachment pattern was so tragic and sad because it was unfortunately too common. Neither of them was involved in toxic behavior (addictions, infidelity, dishonesty, or abuse), and they both loved each other passionately. Nevertheless, they didn't trust each other, and their conflicts made it seem that breaking up was the only way to find peace.

Discover the essential steps they took to shift from a fear-based relationship to a Lasting Love Model, one that helped them solve every problem they faced while also maintaining a secure attachment!

This is a 5 part series. Use the links below to access each podcast.

Part 1: You can be right or effective
Part 2: Grieving leads to acceptance and success
Part 3: From feeling fearful to being resilient
Part 4:  Their hidden needs
Part 5: From punishment and reward to attachment

Click here to view the original ZOOM SESSION.

If you're ready to begin your Lasting Love Journey, you can GET ACCESS to the LASTING LOVE ACADEMYor enjoy a personalized experience by SCHEDULING an INTAKE SESSION with ALISA and completing a thorough NEEDS ASSESSMENT. 

Lasting Love is not just a choice. It's a skill. So let's get started today!

We've all been that person who's been in a social group or setting and noticed someone on the outskirts, the wallflower, the one who tries to start a conversation very awkwardly, or they only come with one person and they stay with that person the whole time.

We've all seen these socially awkward situations and been afraid of being that person.  We've also been that person who is new, sees other people socializing, and wants to be a part of that group.

We're focusing today on HOW YOU CAN BREAK into these social groups. The challenge that you're having is really more about what you're doing inside your own head.  If you understand the dynamics of social groups and social interaction, you'll start to realize you can do this: It's really not you. It's your technique!

This is Alisa Goodwin Snell with the Lasting Love Podcast, a service of the LastingLoveAcademy.comhttps://www.lastingloveacademy.com/. I started off as a Marriage and Family Therapist and became a Dating and Relationship Strategist. I have nearly 30 years of experience in helping people to understand dating and relationships and social dynamics. It's been my passion to break these little elements of communication and social dynamics into pieces that others can understand. 

Some of us are really good at picking up on social cues and interaction. And the rest of us have to learn it through communicating with other people or through learning basic social rules and strategies and applying them. 

So if you want to be more SOCIALLY ACCEPTED, you will NOT WANT TO MISS THIS podcast!

Have you been in a conflict with someone you really care about? You want to be patient and understanding of where they're coming from. You also need to be heard and tell them what you're thinking. You’re upset. You're trying to control your emotions and not say things that will hurt. And then you get to this point where it feels like you've hit a wall. The other person is defensive, angry, arguing, and not really listening to you, so you just want to throw your hands up in the air and walk away. Sometimes you do that and you feel terrible afterward because you really do love and care about this person, but you feel so hopeless and desperate. You just feel like they're not listening to you. 

This is Alisa Goodwin, Snell, welcome to the Lasting Love Podcast, where we feature Real Life, Real People, and Real Love. This kind of a situation is fairly common, and it's painful and scary. I want to help you to solve how to get through to the other person, keep yourself in a good place, feel hopeful, and bring resolution. 


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(full podcast transcript below)

Have you ever noticed that as a single person, it seems so many people are experts at identifying their exes as Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

It's common to hear these terms thrown around. It either makes you sympathetic for the person and what they've gone through (especially if they're attractive) or concerned that they're throwing off their responsibility for their issues by blaming their ex. 

Additionally, when everybody seems to be Borderline, Narcissistic, drug and alcohol addicted, unfaithful, liars, or manipulative, how do you know that you're not dating somebody who is also that way?

It doesn't seem safe, as if the people you're dating can change on a dime. 

Over 20 years ago, I was set up on a blind date, and when he called, I felt such an immediate connection. He was funny, charming, confident. It just was intoxicating. We stayed on the phone for hours. My cheeks hurt. After that conversation, he wanted to see me the next morning for breakfast, I could barely sleep, I was giddy. 

The next day, the connection was so immediate. We went on the date. There's a lot of other fun stories about that date. But from that point forward, we spent every day together. And it was amazing. 

This is Alisa Snell with the Lasting Love Podcast where we feature Real Life, Real People, and Real Love. And today we're going to be featuring more of my Real Life, Real People, and Real Love story. This has actually been a difficult one for me to prepare for, because it's been over 20 years, and I don't really go back there. I don't think about it. It’s been forgiven. And in many ways, it's been relegated to the Forgotten Place where I just don't go there. I don't dwell on it until I'm meeting with a client and they share similar stories. 

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(full podcast transcript below)

When Jeremy walked into my office as a 22-year-old college student who had never been in a significant relationship and rarely went on dates, there were a couple of things that stood out about him. He was a little overweight. His posture really needed to be improved. He had that total nice guy look about him, which unfortunately can make him be undervalued and dismissed as a just friend. And he also had a style of clothing 10 years older than his age. He really needed to become more aware of what his body language and posture were saying. And I was also concerned that he could be on the Autism Spectrum.

This is Alisa Goodwin Snell, with the Lasting Love Podcast, where we feature Real Life, Real People, and Real Love. I have nearly 30 years of experience as a Dating and Relationship Strategist. And I spent 17 years of that career as a Marriage and Family Therapist. Check out the LastingLoveAcademy.com to learn more about me and to STAY CONNECTED with our PODCASTS, UPDATES, AND MORE so you can be updated every time a new podcast becomes available.

Tim and Tara were in their 40s. They both had two children from previous marriages. And they were having a tremendous amount of conflict in their relationship. When I first started working with Tim, he was very anxious, losing weight, couldn't really concentrate, and was desperate to figure out what was either wrong in the relationship or whether or not he should walk away. 

Situations like Tim and Tara's can fit for a lot of people. It's very painful and difficult when your relationships are in turmoil.  You just feel desperate to get the other person to respond to your needs. You worry about losing the relationship and starting all over. For Tim, this was particularly difficult because of his past relationship traumas and his situation with his ex-wife, who had always been disengaged and disconnected from him. Additionally, there had been some repeated disloyalty.

As with most relationships, we are excited at the beginning about being with somebody and feeling wanted, loved, valued, and needed. Then there's this point where we really hit the reality of real life with a real person and we have to discover if we're going to do real love together or not.

My name is Alisa Goodwin Snell from the Lasting Love Podcast. I was a Marriage and Family Therapist for 17 years. I wrote books for singles in the middle of the time I was a Marriage and Family Therapist. Then I made the transition to just doing dating and relationship strategies and coaching. I created all of the videos, audios, books, and materials that are part of the Lasting Love Academy courses. Check out theLastingLoveAcademy.com, where you can take advantage of my 30 years of expertise and extensive Lasting Love Academy for as little as $27 a month. It just depends on the results you want to get. So welcome to the Lasting Love Podcast, where we feature real life, real people, and real love. 

If you're like a lot of singles, one of the hardest questions to answer or statements to respond to is, "You're amazing! I can't understand why you're still single," or "How are you not married yet?"  

There are so many different things that singles struggle with in the process of meeting, becoming exclusive, creating a secure attachment, and getting married that it's not as easy as it seems. Simply being amazing isn't enough to guarantee that you're going to get married, so it's just one of the most difficult questions to hear when people ask, "You're amazing! Why are you still single?" Nevertheless, I do have some answers to that question. 

My name is Alisa Goodwin Snell from the Lasting Love Podcast. I was a Marriage and Family Therapist for 17 years. I wrote books for singles during that time. Then I made the transition to just doing dating and relationship strategies and coaching. I created the Lasting Love Academy courses, with comprehensive videos, audios, books, and materials. Check out theLastingLoveAcademy.com to take advantage of my 30-years of expertise and extensive Lasting Love Academy for as little as $27 a month. We offer several programs depending on the results you want to get. So welcome to the Lasting Love Podcast, where we feature real life, real people, and real love. 

I began performing Marriage and Family Therapy as a young woman at the age of 23, so my career and passion for lasting love began in the 90s. About 10 to 15 years into that experience, I was working a lot with singles, and one of the things I was most baffled by was how these amazing singles seem to be struggling so much with either committing in a relationship or getting and keeping the attention of the people that they were really interested in. 

Particularly, I was focused on these couples who really seemed to be intelligent, socially aware, and very dateable, and yet they kept recycling through relationships with a lot of doubts, breakups, uncertainty, and fear of settling when they were obviously so well suited for each other. I just couldn't understand what was holding them back, and I kept thinking, certainly, there's a program out there with a solution. I just needed to be able to find that solution and refer my clients for it. 

When my son was a teenager, he came to me and shared his fear that there must be something wrong with him because he was not in a relationship, like he felt so many of his friends were. As I talked with him about it, it was obvious that he had a view where he was focusing just on those people who did have relationships. He didn't see how many other people, just like him, were struggling to date or were not interested in dating, and they didn't have relationships. It forced me to go back and remember my teenagers, and I could so relate because I didn't have a boyfriend then. Frankly, I wasn't really that interested in having a boyfriend, dating, or relationships. But I did worry that something was wrong with me that I didn't have them.

Well, now I'm in a unique position where, as a dating and relationship strategist and coach, I see people who struggle with some of the same concerns, and they wonder what's wrong with them when in reality, their experience is quite common. And the truth is, it's not you, it's your technique.

We are in a culture where this is a much more common problem than it's ever been before. In 1960. When my parents were dating, 72% of all adults were married. That meant that the other 28% were single, never married, widowed, divorced, or too young and not married yet. But the rest, 72%, were married, and 59% of 30-year-olds were married. Let's fast forward 50 years, and in 2010, only 20% of 30-year-olds were married, and in 2015, 51% of all adults were married. We have experienced as a culture a huge shift in attachment!

My name is Alisa Goodwin Snell, and welcome to the Lasting Love Podcast, where we feature real life, real people, and real love. If you enjoy this podcast, please share it with others that you feel would also benefit from it. And if you're anxious to start your own lasting love journey, please join me at theLastingLoveAcademy.com.