Filtra per genere
The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is hosted by Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFT, specializing in the Narcissistic Personality--Overt and Covert Narcissists. She offers in-depth knowledge about the origins and dynamics of the narcissistic personality and strategies and practices for those who have been psychologically and emotionally abused by toxic narcissistic personalities through her global podcasts and her books: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist and Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life.
- 684 - High Level Narcissists - Wearing False Self MasksSun, 15 Sep 2024 - 05min
- 682 - Say Goodbye to the Family MythSat, 07 Sep 2024 - 06min
- 681 - High Level Narcissists - Without Conscience or EmpathyThu, 05 Sep 2024 - 04min
- 680 - Aggressive Overt High Level Narcissists - Psychologically Dangerous to Their Spouses and ChildrenSun, 01 Sep 2024 - 04min
- 679 - Notorious High Level Narcissists- Masters of Deceit and ExploitationTue, 27 Aug 2024 - 04min
- 678 - High Level Narcissists Double Down on Their Ever-Present Hubris
Click below for links to my books on Amazon
Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life
Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
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Sat, 24 Aug 2024 - 06min - 677 - High Level Narcissists - Creating a Fictional IdentityFri, 23 Aug 2024 - 01min
- 676 - High Level Exploitive Narcissists Beneath the Golden ImageFri, 07 Jun 2024 - 03min
- 675 - High Level Narcissists Without Concience or Empathy - Full Speed AheadThu, 09 May 2024 - 03min
- 674 - Free Yourself From Pyschological Fusion with the High Level NarcissistSat, 04 May 2024 - 03min
- 673 - Clever Covert Narcissists Fool Almost EveryoneMon, 29 Apr 2024 - 03min
- 672 - High Level Narcissist's Avarice - A Fever that Doesn't Break
Running a fever is a sign that we are fighting an infection. Your temperature rises; you are very hot. Your sweat glands activate and you cool down. Your fever has broken and you are in the process of healing.
The high level narcissist's avarice has no boundaries, no controlling force.
The lust for money and power in the high level narcisist is a fever, a sickness, a perverse uncontained pursuit.
Avarice is the singular preoccupation for many high level narcissists.
It isn't knowledge, wisdom, insight or inner peace they are seeking. It is knowing that they have achieved their greatest goal---wealth and material largesse.
In this obsessive pursuit the high level narcissist doesn't stop victimizing others, disrupting their lives, leaving them without monetary means, causing etreme duress, anxiety and worry.
Studying and researching the high level narcissist provides you with the insight to recognize and successfully deal with these money vultures.
Study their character traits and patterns of behavior and thinking. Learn to dis-entangle yourself from the avarice fevered high level narcissist. Practice self care each day, Exercise your intuitive gifts. Honor your wisdom and fine character.
Click below for links to my books on Amazon
Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life
Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
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Tue, 16 Apr 2024 - 04min - 671 - Malevolent High Level Narcissist Re-Creates A Sparkling New Identity
From the time he/she was very young, the budding narcissist was convinced that he was brilliant, talented, master of social graces, resourceful, socially gifted at magnetizing people to him/her. Often the golden child, these individuals are exceedingly self entitled, overflowing with hubris.
They are convinced that they are perfect---superior to others in every respect. They don't develop a conscience and blame their dirty deeds on siblings, friends, family members, acquaintances, rivals, enemies.
High levels are "climbers", determined to reach the highest summits of monetary and professional largesse, to ingratiate themselves to the most moneyed power brokers and social movers and shakers.
They get their lietenants to do the dirty work. They come out of their misadventures without blemish or murmur. They cheat, steal, lie threaten, collude, betray, scheme---and never get caught.
Many fear that lying will bring down holy thunder and lightening. Not the high level narcissist.They take pleasure in mendacity---this is a familiar game to them.
Learn to recognize these vipers quickly.
Take your own pathway, that of the just, discerning, empathic. Your intellect is keen; your character is fine, your creative talents are many. You shine forth and chart your own course. The winds are at your back now. You see and feel the beauty and majesty of the blue waters of healing, restoration, transformation and creativity.
Click below for links to my books on Amazon
Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life
Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
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Sun, 07 Apr 2024 - 05min - 670 - High Level Narcissist: A Fortress of Defense Mechanisms
Grandiose, filled with hubris, extreme self adulation, the high level narcissist creates a series of personas that feed his/her delusons of ultimate power and perfection
Propeled by a lack of conscience, the high level narcissist sails past those who stand in his/her way to achieve master and control.
The high level has perfected the creation of a series of false seleves that showcase his/her perfection and omnipotence.
The high level possesses a dark venal shadow that ejects psychological venom on all those at hand.
This narcissist is a masterful fabricator of lies. He/she is persuasive and self rightous with their lies.
High level narcissists are thieves of your creative concepts, books, inventions. Their intentioin is to take your original material for themselves, monetize it and even discard you.
You are a truth seeker and have discovered the true nature of the high level narcissist. Listen to the wisdom of your intuition combined with your study of this personality disorder.
Put your attention on self care and self regard. Move forward with your many creative gifts and fine character as you rediscover your true, authentic, original self.
My books Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life and Healing and Recovering After the Narcissist are available on Amazon.
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Thu, 28 Mar 2024 - 04min - 669 - High Level Classic Narcissists Demean You and Your Feelings
Classic narcissists, larger than life, bombastic, charismatic to some, sail through their days in the fast lane---always moving to their next cascade of narcissistic supply. If they are very successful they have more opportunities to be adored, praised and rewarded handsomely in this current world of rampant pathological narcissism. Those at the top of their games don't do the hardest work. They have adoring followers, psychologically dependent individuals, hangers on, at their beck and call.
If you have narcissists in your family, you are too keenly aware of how they demean you and/or ignore you or bith. If you are having a difficult time, they completely ignore what you are saying or they wonder what is the matter with you that you have caused such trouble for yourself.
Narcissists are peripatetic---They always have their engines running. They go from one project to the next, one trip to the next, one aquisition to the next, one full makeover to the next, one partner to the next, etc.
They get a kick out of running circles around you. They don't care about you one whit. They jauntily move along to constantly brag about themselves.
On some occasions the narcissist wonders out loud about what is wrong with you that you can't overcome your problems. After all, they did!
At a point of awakening you recognize that you are an adult in the process of healing and restoration from the classic high level narcissist.
You are entitled to practice self care each day. Rest, sleep, self love, Nature in all of its beauty, the gift of music. Do the work of healing every day. You deserve deep inner peace and the fulfillment of your many unique creative gifts.
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Mon, 27 Nov 2023 - 06min - 668 - Empaths Rescue Themselves from Marriage to High Level Narcissists
Empaths are highly perceptive, exquisitely sensitive individuals. They are finely attuned to their external and internal environments. They feel deeply and are often misunderstood by spouses, family members and the world at large. Empaths who are married or partnered with high level narcissists have a particularly difficult time.
Many of you grew up as children of narcissistic parents. Demands and reprimands were daily occurrences. Narcissistic mothers and fathers gave you the message that you didn't and couldn't measure up to their expectations. You felt irredeemably flawed. For making great efforts to obtain any attention, warmth, attachment, acceptance didn't work. You were looked upon with scorn even disgust.
Married to a high level narcissist you are at the mercy of their recriminations, criticisms, projections.
There is a time of awakening when you can no longer tolerate being controlled by the high level narcissist.
You can now move forward with self care: sleep and rest, movement and exercise, nourishing food, good hydration, Nature, developing your spiritual practice as you understand it, rediscovering your unique creativity, the fulfillment of your authentic, creative, true self.
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Tue, 21 Nov 2023 - 05min - 667 - Freedom From Childhood Shame Projected by A Narcissistic Parent
Shame is a dreadful, intolerable feeling, a visceral reaction that goes deep inside of us. Often, children carry their shame into adulthood, especially if they are raised by narcissistic parents. When we feel ashamed we want to disappear and hide where no one can find us.
The narcissistic parent expects perfection from his child. A child learns how to feel about himself/herelf through the loving attachment of the parent---the empathy, affection, acceptance of the son or daughter as a unique human being.
The child with the highly dysfunctional narcissistic parent is never permitted to be his/her authentic self---that wonderful spontaneous, creative, joyful individual that is expressing the real self. Instead, the narcissist projects shame onto his/her small child from the beginning--telling them that they are always wrong, stupid, unworthy, worthless.
Children raised in this psychological environment of being demeaned and humiliated feel deep shame inside themselves.
I have spoken to and heard from many of you who are in the process of healing the shame that has bound you and are on the road to rediscovering your true self and leading the life that you deserve. Remember to put the emphasis on taking very good care of yourself. Rest, Sleep, Eat Nourishing Food, Hydrate Well, Gentle yoga poses, Stretching, Beautiful Music listening, Time with Nature.
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Tue, 14 Nov 2023 - 06min - 666 - Recovering from Chronic Exhaustion After the High Level Narcissist
"The narcissist is at all times a deceiver, never straight, clear or true. He/she has mastered the ability to delude himself and others. Like a socerer, he hatches intricate plots in secret..." (From: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life, Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFT).
For many years you played your role of partner and spouse to the high level narcissist, knowing that he/she was psychologically toxic. You are exhausted at all times. You have chronic insomnia and can't sleep at night. You get up in the morning and drag yourself through the day.
You are now full circle and heavy with exceptional exhaustion. In the past you jacked yourself up with coffee, plunged into exercise, distracted yourself with fantasies and long held wishes. The mental tricks have worn thin; they don't work anymore.
Remind yourself that you are genuine; you are not deluded. You are highly empathic and care deeply about the feelings of others - family members, friends.
Let the narcissistic world twirl by at ever increasing speeds as it goes nowhere.
Give yourself credit for being a true individual who is growing and evolving. Know that this is a process that takes time and effort and that you are moving toward developing a stronger, expanded true self.
Follow your unique path and pace. Practice self care - Rest, Sleep, Movement/Exercise, Nourishing Food, Listening to Calming Music, Spend time with Nature, the great healer.
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Mon, 06 Nov 2023 - 05min - 665 - Narcissists - Screamers, Passive Aggressives, Covert Operators
Each narcissist is unique in his or her inimitable way. We learn a great deal about a person by the way he/she communicates.
With Narcissists there are several styles that stand out. The first is the Screamer. This man or woman always has the volume dial turned up to the max, especially when under stress or frustration which is frequent. There is no modulation in sound intensity whether the narcissist is in public or private.
Screaming is the most direct route to getting his or her needs and desires met immediately. Although many narcissists are obsessed about their image and would not make a public scene, the Screamer projects his feelings, threats and intimidations without a filter. If he doesn't get the right table at a restaurant, best theater seat, quickest appointment, he/she screams---wild eyed, face flushed, mouth gaping. He attracts a lot of attention as he communicates: "I want what I want when I want it." Surprisingly, those involved in the ugly interchangge with narcissistic screamers, respond to their requests readily to restore peace and civility.
Narcissistic Screamers do not apologize nor are they embarrassed by their inappropriate behaviors. For them, it is only what they want and are getting all that matters. After all, they deserve it; they are superior and entitled. The sheer volume and intimidation projected by the enraged narcissist is enough to make most people cringe and go to their protective corners and acquiesce to the narcissist's delusional demands.
The Passive Aggressive narcissistic communication style is notable for its seesaw quality. These narcissists are sullen and can go for weeks without speaking a word if they have been crossed or confronted. They are masters of the "silent treatment." This type of narcissist is gifted at "quietly seething." Everyone in the household is unnerved and disrupted by this behavior but it is difficult to confront and deal with since the narcissist has become and will remain mute until he decides to end his strike. These narcisssists often play the victim role, insisting that no one appreciates or understands their problems.
Covert Operators lead secret lives, cleverly compartmentalizing one from the others. (From Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life) "The narcissist puts his life in neat compartments that are sealed off from one another. He (or she) is able to activate self-identifications of vitality, superiority, success and power. These are kept separate from the unconscious parts of himself that feel depressed, enraged, empty and helpless..."
Your keen powers of observation and discernment reveal the true nature of the narcissist including their communication styles.
You are moving forward, rediscovering your truth, authentic self. Take time for deserved self care each day: get the rest and sleep that you need and deserve, nourishing healthy food, good hydration, movement and exercise thats best for you, restorative beautiful music, exploring your unique creative gifts.
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Sat, 04 Nov 2023 - 07min - 664 - High Level Narcissists - Secretive, Shameless, Devious
High level narcissists are highly secretive. They often compentalize their private lives. They are never concerned about deceiving partners since they don't have a fully developed conscience.
High levels are often obsessed with acquiring money. But narcissists don't share. Many of them have hidden cash and bank accounts that are cleverly concealed from their partners and spouses. The spouse does not suspect this venal level of duplicity. One scenario preceding a divorce is that the narcissistic spouse will take control of most of the money and financial assets and hidden them through complex financial instruments or by making"arrangements" with a business partner or some other back door means. After the divorce papers are served and the opening rounds begin, the narcissist claims that he or she has no money or assets or investments of any kind.
As the they cheat and steal from you, high level narcissists are highly suspicious even paranoid that they are being taken advantage of by their spouse. They rage that the partner has "stolen" what is theirs. Narcissistic personalities are psychological ly delusional. They manufacture their own reality. They detest the truth, especially when it is pointed out to them. It enrages the narcisssist and activates his/her volcanic rage.
A time comes when you put enough of the puzzle pieces together to know that you are being deceived and can no longer overlook, rationalize or tolerate the insidious lies, the recriminations, the primitive wounding projections.
You say "no more!" You do careful research, interview attorneys, obtain the tools that you need to move through the divorce process.
You have persevered. I give you tremendous credit to those who go through this "marathon" with courage, grace, fortitude, focus, stamina and fine character!
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Mon, 30 Oct 2023 - 05min - 663 - Appreciating and Integrating Your Shadow Self
The Shadow is that part of us that rises from the unconscious. It is mysterious and unique to each individual. Carl Jung describes it this way: "The Shadow personifies everything that the subject (person) refuses to acknowledge about himself."
"Those who have no conscious acquaintance with their shadow, project forgotten, forbidden disowned parts of themselves onto others in destructive ways." (From: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist, Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFT)
There are many examples of individuals who have no conscious awareness of their Shadow. There are personalities who have a flat affect (little or no real emotion expressed). Others are studied, stilted who lack spontaneity and humor. You have aggressive personalities who demand constant attention, who find fault in others and are incapable of admiting that they are ever wrong. These are false selves that have been developed to conceal a real self that has been psychologically damaged.
Our personal Shadow is revealed through dreams, fantasies, reveries and spontaneous writing. When we are open to these inner worlds we become receptive to the richness of the unconscious.
We continue to face our Shadows. For many the Shadow remains completely unrecognized by the conscious psyche of the individual. As human swe carry the inheritnce of our Shadow selves. This is not a curse but an incredible boon to those who seek wholeness and the promise and fulfillment of one's unique individuality.
Becoming open to our dreams, reveries, meditations, offers a pathway to become acquainted and familiar with the Shadow.
Creativity is born through the Shadow. It comes forth in spontaneous writing, our dreams, in communion with Nature. It walks with us day and night---always beside whether we acknowledge its presence or not.
The Shadow is born in the heart of the unconscious, that mysterious territory and center of light and dark, a psychological chiascuro from which the masterpiece is created and spins into existence in its full glory.
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Thu, 26 Oct 2023 - 06min - 662 - Take Back Your True Identity from Your Narcissistic Father
Narcissists cast dark shadows over our lives, especially when we are very young. Deep inside, instinctively, we know that we must survive. Many of us go along not only to get along but to stay vital psychologically. Some young children in highly disturbed narcissistic fmilies become hyper-vigilant-always surveying their environments for danger, threats, visceral feelings of being completely unsafe. They distract themselves ith activity. They normalize what they are experiencing.
Narcissistic fathers cannot parent. They are emotionally unavailable to their children. The go through the motions of interacting with them.
The narcissistic father doesn't careabout the individuality of his son or daughter. He may choose a golden child as a stand out to become just like him--a narcissist.
Other children who are less attractive from his perspective and not stand outs are set aside for neglect and constant ridicule.
There is an accumulation of truth about your narcissistic father. Those who wake up to the truth that their father is a merciless, despotic narcissist sever this toxic relationship and begin the healing process of fulfilling their destiny as a free, separate individual. You deserve healing, restoration, transformation and the manifestation of your unique creative gifts.
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Sat, 21 Oct 2023 - 06min - 661 - Scapegoated Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
Narcissistic mothers are completely absorbed with themselves. Many of them have children to enhance their image of having a perfect family. The work of raising, nurturing and protecting one's child is expected and essential. The narcissistic mother often turns her daughter over to babysitters or nannies when the child is very young, even an infant. She makes sure that friends and acquaintances believe that she is a devoted mother. She talks about her daughter, pretending that she is emotionally invested in her child.
Narcissistic mothrs often rule the family. Father is present in name only. He is a fixture in is own house. Some of these fathers are workaholics and prefer to be away from home rather than deal with the cold, harsh temperament of this woman.
The scapegoated daughter has no defense against the ridicule, demeaning verbal assaults of these highly disturbed mothers. Their stories of being taunted and humiliated are heartrending.
Some of these daughters experience symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome and spend years in the aftermath of these traumas and their efforts to heal. Individuals who have been through such a prolonged ordeal need our understanding and compassion.
Many of them find their way to healing through support roups, participate in psychotherapy, work with healing modalities--gentle yoga, forms of mindfulness and meditation. The deeper our understanding of the true nature of narcissistic mothers the better we are prepared to help ourselves in the process of healing, restoration and the rediscovery of the real, authentic, creative self.
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Thu, 19 Oct 2023 - 10min - 660 - Greedy High Level Narcissists
Today we are surrounded by countless greedy narcissists in a society that has become exceedingly materialistic, coarse, Darwinian, soulless. The high level narcissist is all act: false, cunning, acquisitive.
The greediest go after what you have – investments, properties, residences, businesses, valuable possessions, trusts, works of art.They feed off of your creativity and steal your projects. – all the while leading you to believe that they are collaborating and contributing to your success.
Narcissists are not team players. This is a pretense, a strategy a ruse, a well honed act to gain your trust and ultimately to control you and the products of your unique creativity.
No matter how much they have, for the high level narcissist it is never enough. The fever of acquisitiveness reigns with these individuals. You cannot win if you stay partnered with them unless you are willing to become their psychological prisoners and forfeit your individuality, your unique gifts and your inner peace. Some of those who remain aligned with the high level narcissist are in a state of permanent delusion. They have fused with the narcissist and are unable to extricate themselves from this psychopathological state.
The high level narcissist doesn’t care if you are left with nothing. They get what they want, discard you and move on to the next shiniy prize.
There is hope and redemption with those who remain grounded in their authenticity and integrity combined with their creative gifts. At a time of great insight you find your unique pathway that leads to the authentic self. Give yourself tremendous credit for redisvering the truth about yourself. Listen to the voice of your intuition that always speaks the truth.
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Fri, 06 Oct 2023 - 07min - 659 - For Empaths - Practice Self Care and Self Kindness
For Empaths: Practice Self Care and Self Kindness DraftSep 25, 2023
Empaths are unique individuals who are often misunderstood. As babies and small children they learn that they are unlike other family members. Some children are accepted and respected but this attitude tends to be the exception. Empaths have a heightened sense of perception. They are highly sensitive to loud noises, large crowds and social events.
Empaths are seekers of the truth and have keen insights and intuitions. The society and even within their families, these gifts are not accepted and valued. Rather the empath is treated like a person who is odd, peculiar, someone who doesn't fit in.
True empaths are rare and extraordinary. Their perceptions about human nature and individuals in particular are very accurate. Often these individuals are not believed. Many growup in families that discount this level of high consciousness and intuitive sight.
Self care and self kindness are essential practices for empaths:
Protecting Your Sleep and Rest:
Honor your sleep. Don't let others, especially demanding individuals-narcissists- interfere with your sleep. The great healer is sleep, a profound activity that we are designed for. Sleep is part of all human and animal species. It nourishes and restores every system: skeletal, muscular, respiratory, cardiovascular, digestive, reproductive, endocrine, lymphatic and the mitochrondria in every cell.
We are created to follow the natural daylight and night---to sleep when darkness comes at night and to awaken when the sun rises and radiates in the sky throughout the day.
Sleep protects and strengthens the immune system, restores our vital energy and decreases inflammation. In sleep the unconscious speaks, bringing us dreams that are mysterious, healing and insightful. We are often daunted by the meaning of our dreams. Nevertheless, they are invaluable although often inscrutable.
In many cultures for hundreds of years the habit of taking a rest has been part of a daily routine. Rest offers physical, psychological and emotional refreshment. Having the freedom to think in quiet, to enjoy one's solitude and creativity is a very pleasant activity. This gives us a feeling of well-being. It offers a great opportunity to move into the parasympathetic nervous system, the restorative, healing mode.
Protecting Your Psychological Boundaries
Respecting your personal boundaries is an essential part of your positive self-entitlement to inner peace. Recognize that you can say "No" to the narcissist who is constantly making outrageous demands, lying to you, projecting venomous rage. Developing a strong sense of self-regard is essential to eatablishing and maintaining boundaries. Separating out of the narcissist's delusion world you move forward along your unique individual pathways of psychological and creative development.
Setting Your Personal Pace: Each individual has a natural tempo, a way of moving that is unique to them. As a child, spouse or partner of a high level narcissist you spent many years dancing to their choreography. High level narcissists are often peripetetic---they never stop moving. You have been trying to keep up with their rapid pace and constant demands for too many years. This is your time your space, your pace, your dance.
Spend time with Nature, her beauty and Inspiration: We are part of Nature. It showers us with gifts of magnificent beauty. Nature is our home, an inspiration for creative thinking, a companion that inspires, nourishes, calms and delights us.
Developing Your Unique Routine: Daily routines that you are motivating, creative, healing and restorative.
Decide on your priorities, try different schedules, choose activities that appeal to you. Leave room for flexibility. Don't be judgmental. There are no mistakes in choosing the elements of your routine.
Enjoy your choices. Honor your unique needs, wishes, energy levels, deep interests, appreciation of beauty, the manifestation of your singular individuality.
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Collapse More Episodes 0 High level Narcissists – Playing Their False Self Roles Read More Quick LinksGet Embed PlayerDownload Audio File Author : N/A Episode Type : Full Episode : N/A Rating : Clean File Info : | | NaNMBThu, 28 Sep 2023 - 07min - 658 - High level Narcissists – Playing Their False Self Roles
High level narcissists stand at center stage, commanding all the attention. He/she struts and preens before the audience. The high level is exultant before his/her adoring audience. These individuals expect nothing less than being perpetually adored.
Many names are associated with these false self high flyers: Champion, Winner, Nobleman, Noblewoman, Prince, Princess, Genius, Spiritual Master. On the outside, the high level narcissist sparkles, exuding a magnetic charm.
Beneath the many false selves the high level narcissist is a hollowed out, psychologically empty real self.
The high level uses specific defense mechanisms to protect himself/herself from exposure to the depleted real self.
Projection: Projection is a primitive defense mechanism that involves ejecting vile psychological venom onto victims, especially those close within his inner circle: spouses, ex-spouses, children, siblings. The big advantage for the high level is that there are no consequences for their abominable behavior.
When you are the recipient of a primitive projection your guts churn, your heart beats wildly, you feel humiliated—feel like disappearing.
Projections originate in the unconscious of the perpetrator. In these dark recesses, powerful untrammeled feelings and inclinations are brewing and foment upward into consciousness.
Massive Denial: This is a profound disavowal of the true reality, particularly about himself. The narcissist believes that he/she is a fine person, an individual of integrity. The high level is immune to his mean, vindictive, demanding behaviors.
The narcissist easily finds fault with others, (often rivals for power) whom he criticizes reflexively. The high level harbors a deep envy of his competitors.
When he/she has behaved badly in business or socially, the high level shifts the blame on to others rather than taking responsibility for his deceptive, and egregious behaviors. The high level can never admit being “wrong” since the reinforced false self perceives himself/herself as perfect and superior.
Repression:The use of repression works very well for the high level narcissist. This is a form of forgetting and blocking feelings and actions and memories that run counter to the narcissist’s belief that he/she is superior and perfect. Repression is a psychological shield that protects the high level from experiencing his emotional and psychological vulnerabilities and imperfections. This mechanism “protects” the narcissist from experiencing his/her hollow, helpless, depleted, empty real self.
Many are so taken with the compelling, believable false selves of the high level narcissist that they are incapable and unwilling to perceive these malevolent individuals for who they truly are—vile exploiters of those whom they psychologically and mentally control.
As a result of your research and clear insights, you perceive the true nature of the high level narcissist defined by the dark, empty, hollowed out core of these individuals.
Give yourself credit for your perseverance, your strong belief in yourself, your mental and psychological stamina. Focus on your movement into the restorative, calming pathways of the parasympathetic of self care and the use of your unique creative gifts.
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Sat, 16 Sep 2023 - 07min - 657 - Narcissistic Mother Creates Her Masterpiece - A Golden Child Narcissistic Daughter
"In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it." (Michelangelo) One of the greatest sculptors created unsurprassed masterpieces---The Pieta, David, Moses among others. He was a master at taking a block of inanimate material and bringing it to the highest artistic fulfillment.
I was thinking about this great work and something popped into my mind about the narcissistic mother who endeavors with all of her force to create the perfect child---her golden one. Some are chosen to play this role; others are not.
Many a narcissistic parent has become obsessed with molding a tiny baby into a perfect vision. This works beautifully with art using clay, marble and alabaster but it is a disaster with little children.
Were you the chosen one, the one who was ignored, the golden child dethroned, the child who was hidden in the bunch, the child who got into a lot of trouble with mom because you insisted on being yourself? There are innumerable patterns in these narcissistic, highly dysfunctional families.
Some children respond positively to the prodding of their highly ambitious narcissistic mothers. These mothers are restless creatures. Mother is relentlessly at work. Day and night she is plotting and thinking about the magnificence of the end product when the curtain parts and her creation is at center stage.
If one daughter does not go along with the transformation project, she will discard her and pick another child. The abanded daughter has a hard time because she has lost her mother's attention and is no longer in a psychological state of her mother's grace. But those who tough it out can be blessed because they bucked the force of the narcissistic mother's disturbed contorted vision. Rather, this daughter is an individual with many unique gifts.
Narcissistic mothers will always be with us as well as narcissistic daughters. Our work is to recognize the true nature of the high level narcissists in our families and to assert and honor the immutable authentic, creative self that is grounded in truth and integrity.
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Wed, 06 Sep 2023 - 07min - 656 - High Level Narcissists Discard Their Spouses and Partners Without A Second Thought
High level narcissists are essentially solo acts. They are incapable of forming genuine relationships, especially with their spouses, partners and children. Narcissists are duplicitous. They have many secret agendas. They compartmentalize their lives skillfully and without conscience.
After you have been married to a narcissist for a while you realize this man or woman is not the person you met and think you have known.
Even when he/she is getting everything he wants, the high level suddenly turns on his /her spouse. He is projecting and spewing his unconscious self loathing and psychological emptiness on to you. Spouses and partners on the receiving end often learn to ignore and rationalize these abusive behaviors.
After the marriage has turned stale---and this can happen quickly with narcissists---they need to figure out exactly what they are going to do with you.
Narcissistic spouses are irritated and disgusted with spouses and partners who are not performing up to their unrealistic standards. After the divorce the spouse/partner is dropped quickly, abandoned without ceremony.
High level narcissists don't look back; they are not haunted by any memory of their cruelties. They sleep well at night and are still completely full of themselves as they move on with another person. This is a travesty, a number of horrible scenarios that are repeated over and over again by narcissists with impunity.
As you move forward, focus on your sense of self entitlement. Practice self care each day: rest and sleep, eat nourishing food, good hydration, exercise and movement that appeals to you, expressive unedited writing, listen to beautiful music, spend time with Nature, the great healer.
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Tue, 29 Aug 2023 - 08min - 655 - The Practice of Self Kindness
You are in charge now unlike the days of childhood when you were under the control, expectations and pscyopathologies of your parents. Your partner, spouse, ex-spouse, siblings and other family members are not entitled to intimidate or control you. Be kind with yourself.
Self Kindness activities include:
Move at our own pace; don't let anyone rush you. Many children are herded around and forced to move quickly by other family members. This is particularly stressful, causing nerves to fray, stomach roiling when they are forced to hurry mindlessly. It is distressing and disorienting.
Develop daily routines that work well for you and that orient you into the parasympathetic nervous system and out of the fight or flight sympathetic mode.
As a child you experienced the stresses of the sympathetic, especially if you grew up with a narcissistic parent and other personality disordered individuals.
The practice of diaphragmagtic breathing offers you an entree into the parasympathetic state. Disphragmatic breathing activates the vagus nerve. The awakening of the vagus nerve puts you into the parasympathetic---the calming, healing, restorative part of the nervous system. The origin of this kind of breathing has existed for thousands of years introduced by Indian practices called pranayama. The practice of pranayama is part of an ancient yoga that goes back in time with its origins in India in the sixth and fifth centuries BC.
Listen to beautiful music that speaks to you. You can hear these melodies or songs over and over again and always find them calming, inspiring, affirming, joyful.
Pay attention to your dreams. They are revealing invaluable messages. When you awaken from a dream, take a few minutes to digest it before you get up.
Expressive, unedited writing offers you an opening to your unconscious and your unique creativity. Messages that come through this writing are profound and help you to see through delusion to the true reality.
Be as kind with yourself as you are to others.
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Thu, 24 Aug 2023 - 09min - 654 - Your Insights into the Covert Narcissist's True Nature
Covert narcissists fly under the radar. It can be very difficult to identify them before they have psychologically ambushed you. Polite, humble, soft spoken, respectful in manner, the covert narcissist conceals his/her true nature with great skill. They are at your service, appear to be good listeners and are clever actors of pseudo empathy. In the first moves the covert narcissist appears to be very sincere. He/she has your best interests at heart. This is the bait and the trap.
All the while the covert narcissist is sizing you up. These individuals have taken your measure and know that by romancing you and becoming an indispensable part of your life that they will own your feelings and possess you psychologically.
Whether it is direct or covert, the narcissist is a user who only becomes involved with those whom he/she can use and increase his power and economic reach.
Protect yourself. Narcissists are users and abusers. You can learn to identify the covert narcissist with great skill.
Turn you attention to your self care: rest, sleep, hydration, nourishing food, expressive writing, beautiful music, sublime Nature. Embrace your unique creative individuality.
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Tue, 22 Aug 2023 - 05min - 653 - About To Marry A Second Narcissist? Remember What You have Learned
Our hearts are drawn quickly and beat fiercely with someone who is irresistible. That often is a narcissistic man or woman. They have our "numbers", are often very attractive and compelling. They give us so much attention in the beginning. The narcissist always wants something from us and it is not our welfare or peace of mind, or our creative, psychological or spiritual well being.
There is a strong human tendency to repeat patterns of behavior, especially those that are hurtful to us. Many children of narcissistic parents marry narcissists. It is not unusual for them to step into a marriage with someone who has fooled them completely with a grandiose false self full of confidence and who appears to care deeply about them.
If you suspect that your intended man or woman is a narcissist, remember what you learned about the characteristics of the narcissistic personality:
Narcissists are clever actors who convince others that they truly care about them.
Narcissists are consumed with creating and maintaining with their perfect image.
Does this individual over promise? Is he or she very grandiose and could possibly be delusional?
Is he or she the Golden Boy or Golden Girl in the family?
Does this person lack true empathy? The capacity to put yourself emotionally and psychologically in another person's place. Are they skilled at pseudo empathy?
How often are you catching him/her in lies? Narcissists are gifted liars.
Narcissistic personalities are not inclined to change. After all, they believe they are perfect and live in a delusion of their own making.
Prepare personally by putting the emphasis on taking vey good care of yourself. Take time to listen to music, spontaneous writing with a pen and your imagination, exercise in the way that works for you, good nutrition and hydration, a spiritual practice as you define it. Get the sleep and rest that you deserve. Seek anf find the beauty of Nature, our restorative, healing, transformational source. Ackowledge and feel deep inside an appreciation for who you really are: genuine, unique, talented, creative: a person of vision, empathy and integrity.
I have great faith in you and know that you will prevail. Let your light shine!
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Sun, 13 Aug 2023 - 05min - 652 - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers - Restoring Your Authentic Self
Daughters of narcissistic mothers have a particularly difficult pathway to travel. From childhood they have had to contend with mothers who were cold, distracted, self-absorbed, coercive, dismissive, manipulative and psychologically destructive. Their children are at their mercy and whim. Their daughters are an ongoing source of narcissistic supply to this non-mother.
Adult daughters of narcissistic mothers have to contend with maternal deprivation, perpetrated by these mothers from hell.
The daughter of a narcissistic mothers is very special...She is a survivor, a beautiful human being who has prevailed over the psychological gulags of childhood to emerge as a vibrant, loving, creative individual.
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Tue, 08 Aug 2023 - 07min - 651 - Breaking the Psychological Fusion with the High Level Narcissistic Spouse
Psychological fusion represents the need to identify and merge with the high level narcissist. This occurs as a result of emotional and psychological deficits and causes a sense of being incomplete as an individual.
Those who experience this fusion seek the high level narcissist for validation and a sense of worth and purpose.
The causes of psychological fuson can be the result of childhood trauma, maternal deprivation and abandonment issues.
You feel emotionally damaged, less than, incomplete with feelings of worthlessness, guilt, lacking value and importance as an individual.
Each time that you return to the high level narcissist you put yourself in the hands of this unempathic, controlling individual
At a time of insight and deep understanding you decide to separate from the high level narcissist with the practice of self care: going at your own pace, sleep and rest that you deserve, healing and restoration through Nature, activating your unique creativity, movement and exercise that works for you.
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Mon, 31 Jul 2023 - 07min - 650 - Classic High Level Narcissists and Their Adoring Followers
Classic narcissists are bombastic and charismatic, running through their days in the fast lane---always moving to their next cascade of narcissistic supplies. If they are very successful they have more opportunities to be adored, praised and rewarded hnadsomely in this current world of rampant pathological narcissism. Those at the top of their game don't do the hard work. They have adoring followers, psychologically dependent individuals, hangers on, at their beck and call.
If you have narcissists in your family, you are keenly aware of how they demean and/or ignore you or both.
Since they have no internal psychological consciousness or a well developed conscience, they move swiftly and smoothly through their professional and personal lives with ruthless abandon. They choose partners whom they can dominate and control. They ignore their children or choose only those who will become their living ego supplies---little narcissists who will grow up to be just like them.
Narcissists are peripatetic---They always have their engines running. They go from one project to the next--one trip to the next---one acquisition to the next--one partner to the next---, etc.
They jauntily move along in the conversation to tell you about how swimmingly their lives are going, how busy they are, what they are achieving and don't forget---"their successes." I am talking about their all out bragging when the other person is going through a very tough time and needs to be heard. I find this kind of interchange to be nauseating and cruel.
Remind yourself that you are genuine and that having psychological ordeals is part of our authenticity with real feelings and deep caring for others as well as oneself.
You are not deluded. You do not brag about yourself. You are highly empathic and care deeply about the feelings, the problems and the tough issues of others: family members, friends, spouses, etc. You are the opposite of the narcissist.
Give yourself credit for being a true individual who is growing and evolving. Know that this is a process that takes time and effort and that you are moving toward developing a stronger, expanded true self. (The narcissist is a false self that leads his/her entire days in delusion.)
Practice the self care each day: rest and get the sleep that you deserve, eat nourishing food--organic if you can, use your creative gifts, create a spiritual practice as you understand this. Spend time with Nature--beautiful, restorative, transformational!
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Thu, 27 Jul 2023 - 07min - 649 - Step Away from the Delusional World of the Grandiose Narcissist
Some grandiose narcissists are egomanical. Their bloated sense of self is without boundaries. They are delusional, believing that they are all powerful, omniscient, demi gods.
They are obsessed with obtaining and maintaining the highest levels of raw power and control over others in their orbits.
Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life: "The narcissist fabricates delusions that protect his/her belief in limitless power. The narcissist holds fast to his bloated self images...for him these are irrefutable and immutable truths. His core beliefs are unshakable: "There is nothing I can't do, I have no limits. I'm perfect---everyone else is mediocre and inferior. I will win at all costs."
Grandiose narcissist create thickets of lies. They lie automatically and take great pleasure in lying to you in a variety of ways. The focus is always on them and what they can get and take from you.
Grandiose narcissists control you by manufactoring an empty promise that you will become part of their unique, golden circle of followers who are treated as special and unique.
Shameless to the highest degree, the grandiose narcissist does not have a fully developed conscience.
Highly exploitive, the grandiose narcissist treats others with disrespect and disdain.
For them, you are expendable, like a used wrapper thrown to the winds.
Delirious with greed grandiose narcissists can't stop themselves from obsessive acquisition of properties, money, trusts, investments.
At a time of awakening you recognize that you need to separate from the delusional, psychopathollogical world of the grandiose narcissist.
Practice self care each day: rest and sleep that you need and deserve, eat nourishing food, movement and exercise, quieting the mind or meditation for calming and focus. Listen to beautiful music that puts you in a restorative healing mode.
Celebrate your essence---your unique individuality!
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Wed, 19 Jul 2023 - 06min - 648 - Malevolent High Level Narcissist Re-creates A Sparkling New Identity
From the time he/she was very young, the budding narcissist was convinced that he was brilliant, talented, resourceful, socially gifted at magnetizing people to him/her. Often the golden child, these individuals are exceedingly self entitled, overflowing with hubris.
They are convinced that they are perfect--superior to others in every respect. These beliefs and convictions become an integral core of the budding narcissist, especially if they are the vaunted, glorious golden child who can never do anything wrong. In addition they don't develop a conscience and blame their dirty deeds on siblings, friends, family member, acquaintance, rivals.
High levels are "climbers", determined to reach the highest summits of monetary and professional largesse, to ingratiate themselves to moneyed power brokers and social movers and shakers. With their gifts of persuasion and light seduction--- a kind of hypnotic trance---they work their way up to positions of great power and influence.
They get their lieutenants to do their dirty work. They come out of their misadventures without blemish or murmur. They are keen at playing above the fray, above reproach. They cheat, steal, lie, threaten, collude, betray, scheme---and never get caught. When questioned, the high level lies with great skill by omission and commission. His perfect persona convinces almost everyone that there is no way he could or would have done anything wrong.
Many fear that lying will bring the wrath of God down upon them. Not the high level narcissist. He or she takes pleasure in mendacity---this is a familiar game to them---like a grand chess master who knows he can win every play, blindfolded. Operating without conscience makes for an easier ride to the high level's goal. Carrying a conscience takes humility and a consideration of being just and righteous in the world and with oneself. Cruel misdeeds vanish in the ethers as the high level re-invents himself/herself countless times.
Learn to recognize these vipers quickly. Study your research, use your high intuition to follow the scent of the malevolent high level. You know how dark and malicious these individuals are.
Separate yourself from them. Take your own pathway, that of the just, discerning, empathic. Your intellect is keen; your character is fine, your creative talents are many, you are fearless in the face of this dark human nature. You shine forth and chart your own course. The winds are at your back now and you see and feel the beauty and majesty of the blue waters of healing, restoration, transformation and creativity. Sail on!
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Fri, 07 Jul 2023 - 06min - 647 - High Level Narcissist's Money Lust - A Fever that Doesn't Break
Running a fever is a sign that we are fighting an infection. Your temperature rises; you are very hot. Your sweat glands activate and you cool down. Your fever has broken and you are in the process of recovering and getting well. You are moving toward healing.
The lust for money and power in the high level narcissist is a fever, a sickness, a perverse pursuit, uncontained. Monetary acquisition captivates the high level narcissist.
High levels are always thinking about how much money they have, how to get more, how to keep it from others.
For the high level there is never enough money, investments, properties, financial holdings. Lusting after money is the singular preoccupation for many high level narcissists. Having lots of money makes them feel more entitled, superior to others, a consummate winner. In this obsessive pursuit the high level narcissist doesn't stop victimizing others, disrupting their lives, leaving them without monetary means, causing extreme duress, anxiety and worry.
Pay attention to your intuition about the high level narcissist. You sense their vileness, like a noxious odor in the air.
Dis-entangle yourself from the lust fevered high level narcissist. Develop habits of self care: rest, sleep, nourishing food, good hydration, movement and exercise that works for you, spend time with Nature, bring Great Art into your days. Exercise your intuitive gifts. Honor your wisdom and fine character. Develop a spiritual practice specifically designed for you as an individual.
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Fri, 30 Jun 2023 - 06min - 646 - Your Evolution As An Individual After the Narcissist
The narcissistic personality leads his/her life in psychological delusion. Wearing a series of false self masks, the narcissist convinces so many that he/she is authentic. There are many stories of the extraordinary duress and psychological and emotional pain that are inflicted by them on their spouses, children, partners, ex-spouses.
In current society where highly successful narcissists are feted and rewarded for their worldly accomlishments---raw power, cultural influences---these individuals are not held accountable for the extreme psychological and emotional pain they inflict on others.
The narcissist is without conscience, shame or mercy. He/she wouldn't be foolish enough to outwardly harm another and get caught and have to deal with the circumstances of their dark deeds.
These individuals are unacquainted with their damaged real selves. From the time they were very young, narcissists, especially golden children, glide through life, supremely entitled, believing that they are perfect and others are inferior. They are unfamiliar with the truth. What they think and believe is the only truth. High level narcissists, powerful in the world, they convince those in their inner charmed circles that they are extraordinary, gifted, accomplished and entitled to be treated with extraordinary deference.
Devoted followers of the narcissist willingly surrender their identities and their morality to be a part of this special club.
At a point of awakening, your research and insight, you make the decision to separate from the narcissist. After leaving the narcissist, you are freer to speak and manifest the truth each day with your words, attitudes, actions, creative gifts.
Quoting from my book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist: "Knowing and speaking the truth about human nature is part of your destiny if you are to evolve as an individual."
With clarity, discernment, strength, stamina and the truth, you are moving forward along the pathway of the authentic, original, creative self.
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Sat, 24 Jun 2023 - 08min - 645 - Rescue Yourself from the Toxic Shadow of the High Level Narcissist
"The shadow personifies everything that the subject (person) refuses to acknowledge about himself." CG Jung
"Those who have no conscious acquaintance with their shadow project forgotten, forbidden and disowned parts of themselves on to others in destructive ways." Linda Martinez-Lewi, Ph.D., LMFT, Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
Are you trapped in a marriage or partnership with a pernicious high level narcissist, an individual obsessed with self and public image, with extreme self-entitlement, very low conscience capacity, n an infant terrible, with a dreadful temper that is projected out onto you behind closed doors. This is horrifying to the spouse of the high level narcissist. There are severe criticisms, humiliations, exhausting over the top demands, blatant hyoocrisy, incessant lying. More lying to cover other lies.
The high level narcissist carries from within a primitive, seething Shadow that ejects venom in various forms on to you: false accusations, recriminations, incessant criticisms, withering projections that send you into the dark reaches of the fight or flight nervous system, the sympathetic mode.
You are at the mercy of the narcissist's rampant regressed Shadow. The high level vehemently blames you for these traits, deeds and words he/she is incessantly using. The narcissist never owns his/her wrongdoings since he/she believes that he/she is perfect. It is in private that you shudder and cower and take the full brunt of the narcissistic partner's disowned Shadow.
How much longer can you tolerate the scream fits, volleys of temper, scathing glances, belittling snipes that leave you psychologically and emotionally weakened. You don't deserve to be treated this way.
You are making a stand now for yourself. You make the decision to separate from the toxic high level narcissist and move along your pathways of self care, healing, restoration, transformation and the reawakening of your true, authentic, creative self.
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Sun, 18 Jun 2023 - 08min - 644 - Breaking the Pattern of Marrying Covert Narcissists
I have communicated with many individuals who tell me that they keep marrying, divorcing and then partnering with another covert narcissist. How could they have known that they would repeat this corrosive psychological pattern. They should not blame themselves. It is exceedingly difficult to recognize a covert narcissist, especially if he/she is at the top of their game. The covert has been practicing his/her superb act since early childhood. The covert narcissist learned to camouflage his/her true feelings and thoughts.
After the glow and excitement has begun to fade (even in the early months after marriage) you notice that your partner demeans you, makes incessant demands and tears you down when you are particularly vulnerable. The vituperative projections increase, the demeaning remarks and humiliations rise. You are worn down.
Covert narcissists are particularly drawn to empaths, those individuals of high discernment and insight. Empaths need to learn to protect their psychological boundaries.
At a point of insight you recognize the true nature of the covert narcissist. You make the decision to separate and divorce the covert narcissist.
You can break the pattern of marrying covert narcissists. As you develop a strong sense of self entitlement and self care, you recognize that you are a strong, enlightened individual. Give yourself tremendous credit for your psychological and emotional perseverance, grit and integrity.
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Wed, 07 Jun 2023 - 13min - 643 - Is Your "Friend" A High Level Narcissist
Many individuals have narcissistic friends who are taking advantage of them and who cannot be trusted with confidences or personal information. High level narcissists, those who are socially smooth and highly successful in the world, are difficult to detect. They effect a convincing pseudo empathy, appear to be genuinely engaged, come across as bright, articulate and share much in common with you.
Recognizing the folllowing personality attributes will help you to identify the high level narcissistic personality:
Total Self-Absorption - The high level narcissist is completely self-focused. Everything in his/her internal or external environment is about tthem: personal experiences, professional accomplishments, academic achievements, successful business ventures, coming from "perfect families" ---an endless list of an Ode to Self.
There is a grandiosity and superiority to the self-absorption of the high level. He/she brags, flaunts, struts--always moving about the stage to catch the center spotlight.
Lack of Empathy - This is a key human quality that is missing in the high level narcissist. Having empathy, we are capable of putting ourelves in the other person's place, psychologically and emotionally. We leave our ego needs and sense what they are experiencing and feeling. The narcissist never developed this quality. Don't expect the high level narcissist to ever be become empathic.
Lack of Genuine Warmth - High Level Narcissists are cold and manipulative. They can appear to be charming and ingratiating---even irresistible. But this is a trap. Watch the follow-up to the fake rush of warmth. Does your friend drop the ball, forget to call you. Do you have to initiate all of the contacts between the two of you. Does your friend cancel engagements with you or act out by being a "no-show" and expect you to make excuses for him/her.
Exploitive - All relationships with high level narcissists are exploitive. Believing that you have an authentic relationship with a narcissist is an illusion. High level narcissists are users. In some instances they co-opt your creative ideas and projects and use them as their own. They feed off of others psychologically. They expect their "friends" to be constant sources of narcissistic supplies, providing them with veneration and adulation. They expect to be treated as very special and highly entitled. You could be on the receiving end of one of their harsh, vituperative projections. High level narcissists are known for projecting their psychological venom on to others. You don't deserve this. You are entitled to an apology (which will not be forthcoming).
There is a time of your evolving insight that you can no longer be treated with this level of disrespect. Now you understand that your "friend" is a narcissistic personality. You have done your research and along with your intuition, recognize your "friend's" true nature.
Practice self care and restoration. Take time to get the rest and sleep that you deserve. Focus on your needs rather than the demands of any narcissists. Explore your many creative gifts. Spend time with the beauty of Nature. Listen to beautiful music and move at your own pace. Honor and appreciate your individuality.
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Tue, 30 May 2023 - 13min - 642 - The Despicable Duplicity of the High Level Narcissist
We are flawed human beings. We make small and big mistakes. It is difficult to admit that we are wrong. It takes dropping our egos and acknowledging that we were in error. If we hurt someone emotionally as a result of our mistakes and insensitivities and our inner turmoil, it takes humility and insight to say: "I was wrong, I am sorry tht I caused you to suffer. It is not your fault; it is mine. I take responsibility for my words and actions." When we are able to get past our always having to be right and beyond long held humiliations, we can admit being wrong, communicate this to the person we have hurt and move forward. It is freeing and rewarding to know that we are capable of self redemption, putting the ego aside and choosing self truth.
Narcissists cannot admit they are wrong. He/she is driven by an ego inflated sense of self. His/her burnished golden image represents the delusional reality of his making. This is their sine qua non. No exceptions.
Narcissists don't let the truth get in their way. It is an obstacle unfamiliar to them. Golden child narcissists have been manufacturing their own truth since early childhood. Their versions are immutable, as real to them as the turning of the earth on its axis, the rhythms of sea tides, the predictable phases of the moon.
High level narcissists are dupicitious. They demand unreachable perfection from others and the constant delivery of narcissistic supplies: praise, aduldation, blind loyalty, veneration---yet they constantly attack our thought processes, motivations, emotional responses and purposely harm us psychologically every single day. Their lack of a developed conscience keeps them from viewing themselves realistically.
Eventually, you become receptive to your moments of repeated insights, along with your in-depth research about the true nature of the narcissistic personality. This is the time of reckoning. Your days are turning around; you are on the road of psychological redemption. Hold on to the golden cord of your intuitive insights, the diligence of your research and your courageous, strong, fine character.
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Wed, 24 May 2023 - 09min - 641 - Deflecting the Narcissist's Poisonous Projections
The high level narcissist is a projection machine. Rather than internalizing, introspecting or encouraging insight, the high level narcissist is always in the process of externalization. He/she is either basking in his perfection or plotting the next move that will weaken, topple or destroy a real or imagined enemy.
Projection is an unconscious defense mechanism an individual uses to protect himself/herself from intolerable feelings of worthlessness, self loathing and forbidden impulses. The high level narcissist is continually projecting his/her venom on to others. This is particularly painful and harmful to his family---spouses, partners and children.
Learn to deflect the high level narcissist's projections. This person is constantly externalizing, reeling out one trajectory after another. You cannot control the narcissist's impulses but you can be in command of yourelf. A daily practice of stilling the mind and gentle forms of yoga that emphasize focus on the breath provide a steady mental and psychological foundation. These practices are thousands of years old and have served yogis and laymen in a profound way. Learn to access the parasympathetic nervous system. that part of yourself that is calm, relaxed, at peace. A master acupuncturist whom I know reminds her patients: "let yourself go down and settle." She is speaking about the innate part of ourselves that naturally seeks peace in the body, mind and psyche.
Get the rest and sleep that you deserve. Practice diaphragmatic breathing that puts you in the parasympathetic mode of calming and restoration.
Minimize contact with high level narcissists. This is a tall order since many people in positions of power and influence are narcissistic personalities. If you have to be in their presence, try to be in the company of someone else whom you trust. Being alone is the best opportunity for the high level narcissist to pounce. When the projection comes, remind yourself that this shred of debris is emerging out of him/her. It does not belong to you. Beneath it all, the narcissist is a coward---hitting others when they are down, feeding off of vulnerabilities and weaknesses, setting baits and traps that will harm and disrupt other individuals. These people are despicable.
With today's narcissistic society giving them a pass, because so many of them are successful in the world, look to yourself.
You are not alone, I hear from those who have been victimized by these predators and have prevailed over them.
The wise philosopher Lao-tsu states the truth clearly: "He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still."
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Sat, 20 May 2023 - 07min - 640 - Winning the Battle with Narcissistic Family Members
Some of our greatest challenges are narcissistic personalities within our families. The first move is to learn to recognize these individuals as narcissistic personality disorders who are not going to change.
When you do the research, you learn to recognize the narcissist within your own family. It is not unusual for other family members to make excuses for their cruel, dismissive and outright abusive behaviors. I have known of family situations where one individual knows the truth about the narcissists in their family and shares this information. Many who go along to get along and put up with their cruel psychopathology, are fearful to assert themselves.
They berate the one person who is holding the truth. If one individual out of thousands knows the truth, it is still the truth. We live in a time of narcissistic delusion.
People are blinded by the burnished image that the narcissist perpetuates, his/her incandescent "charm", all of the unfulfilled promises he/she makes.
I have known of a number of family members who, despite all of the pressure placed on them, severed the relationship with this toxic individual. They were castigated, criticized and thought to be strange by other family members but insisted on their truth.
Put yourself first and keep a distance from the narcissistic family member. In some instances it can be necessary to go very low or no contact with these individuals.
Trust what you know is true. Practice the self care that you deserve. Sleep, rest, spending time with Nature, accessing your unique creativity, appreciating who you are as a valuable unique individual.
Thu, 18 May 2023 - 07min - 639 - How to Be Psychologically Grounded in a Delusional World
At times the earth feels unsteady beneath our pscyhological feet. We experience uncertainties, even fears and trepidationss that haunt us in wakefulness and sleep.
In moments of confuson and uncertainty it is particularly helpful to view ourselves with objectivity and compassion.
Those who are healing and restoring themselves after their stressful and traumatic experienes with narcissistic partners and spouses and growing up in narcissistic families, are called to take steps to bring about their emotional and psychophysical balance. You deserve this renewal of your true, original self.
Honor yourself physcially, psychologically and spiritually by practicing self care each day: rest, sleep, movement and exercise in the ways that work best for you. Perform basic yoga poses like child's pose that gently stretches your muscles, calms your nervous system and puts you in the restorative parasympathetic mode.
This is your moment of independence and transformation.
Keep company with yourself: get to know and appreciate who you are as an individual. Take time for your solitude, restfulness, creative pursuits, experiences of Beauty.
Trust your deep wisdom and intuition.
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Fri, 12 May 2023 - 05min - 638 - High Stakes Narcissistic Grifters
The high level narcissist has mastered a very smooth act: false, cunning, acquisitive and very greedy.
Psychologically empty inside, he/she is always searching for more while he treats others without mercy or respect.
The greediest are the have mores and the have mosts who are perpetually in acquisitive mode. They go after what you have--investments, properties, residences, businesses, valuable possessions, trusts, works of art.
They feed off of your creativity and steal your projects--all the while leading you to believe that they are collaborating and contributing to your success.
High level narcissists are not team players. This is a pretense, a strategy, a ruse, a well honed act to gain your trust and ultimately control you and the products of your unique creativity.
No matter how much they have, for the high level narcissist, it is never enough. The fever of covetousness rises with every acquisition. You cannot win with these individuals if you stay partnered with them unless you are willing to become their psychological prisoners. Some who remain aligned with the high level narcissist are in a state of deep delusion.
The high level doesn't care if you are left with nothing. They get what they want, discard you and move on to the next shiny prize.
There is great hope and promise for those who remain steady in their grounded fine characters, steady and risng in their creative gifts.
You are entitled to honor yourself as an individual: self care each day: rest, sleep, Nature's beauty, joy of music, exercise your way, activation of your unique creativity.
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Wed, 26 Apr 2023 - 08min - 637 - High Level Narcissists: Writing, Directing and Performing Their Perfect Scripts
The high level narcissist is a towering, talented, conquering hero, another Alexander the Great. Everyone seeks his/her counsel. Exalted to high positions of power, influence and prestige, everyone seeks their counsel. They are anointed, even considered holy.
Convinced of his perfection and superiority, the high level flies high with an extraordinary sense of self entitlement and delusional grandiosity.
They obsessively brag about their accomplishments, becoming increasingly manic with each achievement--a bloated ego on full display.
There is a shameless hypocrisy that is part of this identity. Their delusions of grandeur and perfection are limitless.
Their obsessive focus is always on themselves: what they are entitled to have, whom they will control, how much money and power they will acquire, how to defeat their competitors and enemies--real and imagined-while maintaining an impeccable persona.
You are actually partnered with or married to a petulant child. The narcissistic personality is psychologically regressed to the age of two. Me, Me, Me is the constant word. Temper tantrums and outrageous demands are the theme when they don't get exactly what they want on the spot. Two year olds go through a period of separating out from their parent and asserting themselves and insisting they are independent. Eventually the young child moves through this phase as he or she becomes more rational and capable of viewing themselves realistically. The narcissist never leaves this developmental phase. He/she is stuck psychologically in toddlerhood.
Microscopically light on conscience describes the narcissist's lack of a moral compass. Having a solid conscience takes work and moral discernment. Those with a conscience think about the welfare of others and question themselves about moral and ethical issues.
Being light on conscience accelerates the narcissist's movement up the steps of power, influence and control.
Don't wait for the high level narcissist to be held accountable for his/her malicious transgressions, constant lies. They have abused others, including their children in word and deed.
Arrogantly striding the upper echelons of the power pecking order, the high level learned how to escape by blaming others, especially those who are vulnerable and willing to take the heat for them.
Your time of re-awakening has arrived. You now understand the true nature of the high level narcissist and begin your movement forward to separate out of this narcissistic abuse.
You start by putting yourself first with self care: rest, sleep, eating nourishing food, good hydration, movement and exercise your way, listening to beautiful music, spending time with Nature and using your many creative gifts.
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Thu, 13 Apr 2023 - 09min - 636 - Protect Yourself from Anxiety and Exhaustion Caused by High Level Narcissist
You can't fall asleep at night; you are anxious; your mind is racing, You listen to your thoughts and wonder when you will get respite. Morning comes and you face extreme fatigue. Exhaustion has a pain of its own, a feeling of weakness that is relentless. Finally, you face the day and wonder if your strength and stamina will ever return.
You are distracted and miserable most of the time. Your gut is out of whack. You feel gnawing vulnerabilities---raw fear. On top of this is the dark presence, the horrific shadow side of the high level narcissist. What you know for sure is that eventually he/she starts screaming at you, picking you apart in a low voice filled with derision and mocking. One of his/her favorites is humiliating you. Humiliation is one of the worst sensations we can experience. It is intolerable; we squirm inside, we feel small and want to disappear, to become invisible.
These cruelties visited on you by the high level are a regular feature, wearing you thin, jangling your nervous system, causing anxiety and panic. For some, re-activating their childhood trauma.
This is particularly alarming since your narcissistic partner/spouse doesn't give a damn about you or your well being. In fact he is incensed that you are ill and pulling him/her down. You are bad for his image. Having a partner who is not "Up" all the time is very unappealing. The flawless narcissist despises your chronic exhaustion and uses every opportunity to deride and abandon you.
Gradually, you are moving through the exhaustion, feeling the beginnings of strength. You do research and develop a clear understanding of the high level narcissist.
With time and an inner resolve and connection with a few individuals whom you trust you know that in order to heal and restore your psychological and physical health you need to move along your own recovery pathways that activate the restorative, parasympathetic body/mind systems, daily self care: rest, sleep, pure nutrition, good hydration, Nature's healing gifts, the use of your unique creativity, your form of spiritual practice: basic restorative yoga, stretching, exercise your way. Another phenomental gift of restoration: listening to beautiful music that moves inside with its beauty and promise of renewal, strength and transformation, the fullness of your original true self.
Tue, 04 Apr 2023 - 07min - 635 - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers - Restoring Your Strong Sense of Self
Narcissistic mothers are non-parents. They are incapable of emotional and psychological intimacy. They cannot attach and bond with their children appropriately. They use their children as puppets to mirror them perfectly.
At some point you know that your mother cannot and will not and did not fulfill your deepest needs. This is a time of reckoning when you know that you must act for yourself and learn to nourish and take care of yourself first. This is not selfish; it is essential.
This self healing begins with small steps. Get the sleep and rest that you need and deserve. Eat nourishing food, organic if you can, that keeps you healthy and strong. Develop a spiritual practice using your definition, turn to Nature, the great healer and source of great beauty, experience the solitude of your own company, listen to music that appeals to you and moves you into the parasympathetic restorative mode, move and exercise in the way that works for you.
Be very kind to the small child inside of you. You are a wonderful individual: empathic, persevering, resourceful, authentic, creative.
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Wed, 29 Mar 2023 - 10min - 634 - High Level Narcissists - Masters of Elaborate Lies
High level narcissists have raised telling elaborate lies to a dark art form. They repeat their lies with emphasis and convincing delivery. The audience is immersed in his/her "story" and the way it is delivered. The narcissist's nonverbals are impeccable: tone of voice, great eye contact, pseudo empathy.
The high level narcissist appears to be warm and caring. These individuals are so sure of themselves that they have no hesitation.
The high level makes comments like: "You and I have a lot in common." "We understand one another." "I am looking out for you."
Lies of omission and commission are all part of their performance, their act.
High level narcissists don't tire from lying; it is their sustenance. It maintains their power over others.
You cannot trust someone who is lying to you.
You are evolving all of the time. This process is not a straight line; it is a process.
Give yourself tremendous credit for being a person of character and compassion. You are that unique individual that always strives to do the right thing, especially when no one is watching. It is in the deep inner self that you feel the peace of your authenticity and integrity.
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Sat, 25 Mar 2023 - 06min - 633 - Empaths - Special Self Care Practice
Empaths are unique individuals who are often misunderstood. As babies and small children they learn that they are unlike other family members. Some children are accepted and respected but this attitude tends to be the exception. Empaths have a heightened sense of perception. They are highly sensitive to loud noises, large crowds and social events.
Empaths are seekers of the truth and have keen insights and intuitions. The society and even within their families, these gifts are not accepted and valued. Rather the empath is treated like a person who is odd, peculiar, someone who doesn't fit in.
Empath Special Care Practice
Protecting Your Sleep and Rest:
"Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care, sore labor's bath. Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course. Chief nourisher in life's feast." William Shakespeare
Honor your sleep - Don't let others, especially demandig individuals interfere with your sleep. The great healer is sleep, a profound activity that we are designed for. Sleep is part of all human and animal species. It nourishes and restores every system: skeletal, muscular, repiratory, cardiovascular, digestive, reproductive, endocrine, lymphatic and the mitochrondria in every cell.
We are created to follow the natural daylight and night---to sleep when darkness comes at night and to awaken when the sun rises and radiates in the sky throughout the day.
Sleep protects and strengthens the immune system, restores our vital energy and decreases inflammation. In sleep the unconscious speaks, bringing us dreams that are mysterious, healing and insightful. We are often daunted by the meaning of our dreams. Nevertheless, they are invaluable although often inscrutable.
In many cultures for hundreds of years the habit of taking a rest has been part of a daily routine. Rest offers physical, psychological and emotional refreshment. Having the freedom to think in quiet, to enjoy one's solitude and creativity is a very pleasant activity. This gives us a feeling of well-being. It offers a great opportunity to move into the parasympathetic nervous system, the restorative, healing mode.
Protecting Your Psychological Boundaries
Respecting your personal boundaries is an essential part of your positive self-entitlement to inner peace. Recognize that yu can say "No" to the narcissist who is constantly making outrageous demands, lying to you, projecting venomous rage. Developing a strong sense of self-regard is essential to eatablishing and maintaining boundaries. Separating out of the narcissist's delusion world you move forward along your unique individual pathways of psychological and creative development.
Setting Your Personal Pace: Each individual has a natural tempo, a way of moving that is unique to them. As a child, spouse or partner of a high level narcissist you spent many years dancing to their choreography. High level narcissists are often peripetetic---they never stop moving. You have been trying to keep up with their rapid pace and constant demands for too many years. This is your time your space, your pace. Enjoy the dance!
Spend time with Nature, her beauty and Inspiration: We are part of Nature. It showers us with gifts of magnificent beauty. Nature is a home for our solitude, an inspiration for creative thinking, a companion that inspires, nourishes, calms and delights us.
Developing Your Unique Routine: Daily routines that you crative are motivating, creative, healing and restorative.
Decide on your priorities, try different schedules, chose activities that appeal to you. Leave room for flexibility. Don't be judgmental. There are no mistakes in choosing the elements of your routine. Enjoy your choices. Honor your unique needs, wishes, energy levels, deep interests, appreciation of beauty, the manifestation of your singular individuality.
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Tue, 21 Mar 2023 - 08min - 632 - Don't Let A Covert Narcissist Partner Re-Traumatize You
The covert narcissist is "gifted" at re-victimizing his/her human targets. Whether you are partnered with or married to a covert narcissist you are riddled with fear and dread much of the time. You are stuck in the fight or flight mode, the sympathetic nervous system. The covert is skilled at concealing his/her multiple cruelties, manipulations and deceptions. Lies roll off of their tongues automatically and everyone believes them. Lies are automatic to the covert. In some instances your own family may not believe that you know and are telling the truth about this covert viper.
Their act deceives so many including highly trained therapists, psychiatrists, social workers, attorneys and the list goes on. Don't be surprised if you have been compromised by the covert narcissistic man or woman who makes you believe that he/she is genuine and deeply cares about you.
Learn to recognize the seductions of sweetness, soft persuasion, their vulnerability act, guilt induction and promises of special treatment that are designed by the covert narcissist to pull you back into their delusonal world of manipulation and deception.
There are steps you can take to maintain your psychological boundaries and strong sense of self:
Identify the covert narcissist with your research, knowledge and the full use of your intuition.
Put yourself first. Get the sleep you need and deserve. Eat pure food and hydrate, spend time with Nature, do movement and exercise that works you, form relationships with individuals you can trust. Do expressive writing that is unedited and uses your imagination.
You have turned on to a new pathway of renewal, health, beauty and a source of continued healing, evolution and transformation.
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Sat, 11 Mar 2023 - 11min - 631 - Deflecting the Narcissist's Poisonous Projections
The narcissist is a projection machine. Rather than internalizing, introspecting or encouraging insight, the narcissist is always in the process of externalization. He/she is either basking in his perfection or plotting the next move that will weaken, topple or destroy a real or imagined enemy.
Projection is an unconscious defense mechanism an individual uses to protect himself/herself from intolerable feelings of worthlessness, self loathing and forbidden impulses. The narcisssist is continually projecting his/her venom on to others. This is particularly painful and harmful to his family---spouses, partners and children.
Learn to deflect the narcissist's projections. You cannot control the narcissist's impulses but you can be in command of yourself.
Practice self care: rest, sleep, hydration, movement/exercise, a form of mindfulness that works for you. Learn to access the parasympathetic nervous system, tht part of yourself that is calm, relaxed and grounded.
Tap into your creativity --an invaluable resource.
Honor your wisdom.
"He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still."---Lao-tsu
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Sat, 04 Mar 2023 - 10min - 630 - High Level Narcissists - Power Obsessed, Ruthless
As the high level narcissist becomes more successful in the world, he/she activates greater and greater grandiosity, extreme self entitlement and ruthlessness. If he is at the top of his/her profession---finance, science, medicine, academia, entertainment, entrepreneurship, politics, media, etc, he is surrounded by a circle of people who believe that he is superior. This protective golden circle provides the high level narcissist with a continuous circulation of narcissistic supplies: adulation, praise, accolades, multiple perks, high monetary compensation.
As high level narcissists move to higher tiers of power and influence of great reach, they become untouchable in terms of being held accountable for their personal misdeeds and cruelties.
Does it matter to him/her if he decimates someone else's career. Absolutely not! This is business hardball. Those who side with him (not knowing that they too are disposable) will vanquish his enemies. The narcissist becomes more and more ruthless and inhumane as he grabs more power and becomes more maniacally delusional.
If this narcissist is a waking nightmare at work, he is hellish at home. In the private space there is no need to wear his/her false facade. It is ripped off by the time he reaches the front door. He screams, taunts, threatens, demeans, humiliates his spouse and children. The reign of narcissistic terror is endless. He has his spouse in a psychological stranglehold. If the marriage is going badly and the spouse suggests a divorce, the decree of threat comes down---"You will be left with nothing." "I will get full custody of the kidns." "Everyone will know that you have instigated the divorce and take my side." "I will hire attorney who will defeat you at every turn."
Some spouses of high level narcissists reach a breaking point---They are in severe distress---They cannot sleep; they are on red alert with free floating anxiety and chronic insomnia.
Don't wait for the narcissist to change course. He/she knowes he can control and manipulate you at any time.
Some spouses take the step to sever their relationship from these highlydisturbed individuals. They strrengthen themselves physically, mentally, psychologically and spiritually. Begin with self care: get the rest and sleep that you deserve, good nutrition and hydration, movement and exercise that works for you, restoration through Nature, doing expressive writing with edit or judgment, rediscovering your many unique creative gifts.
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Sun, 26 Feb 2023 - 09min - 629 - High Level Narcissists - Exploitive, Secretive, Without Conscience
The outer image, the persona of the high level narcissist is irresistible: beauty, handsomeness, magnetism, pseudo empathy, extreme self confidence, brightness. These are some of the qualities of high flying narcissists who are extraordinarily successful in our world today.
The number of high level narcissists is increasing faster than we can count. Our current society rewards them for their worldly success. Having integrity and a fine character matter less now than it did in the past.
Our current society rewards them for their worldly success despite the number of people they have psychologically abused; those they have left in financial ruin. Some individuals have become physically ill from the stress of living with them decade after decade.
When you are at your lowest emotional ebb the narcissistic spouse/partner will verbally pounce on you without mercy. They are determined to bring you down. They assume the role of victim which they play to the hilt.
High level narcissists lead secret lives which they compartmentalize. They are known for their affiars, clandestine meetings, seductive acting out behaviors.
After years, even decades of psychological abuse you can tolerate these cruelties of mind and heart no longer. You are exhausted, experience oxidative stress, chronic anxiety and insomnia.
After making your decision to leave the narcissist you go through the ordeal of divorcing the high level narcissist. They hires attorneys to intimidate you into complete capitulation. They seek to wear you down with their dirty fighting.
Despite it all, you come through the divorce process. You have re-activated your strong, grounded sense of self. You folllow the pathways that lead to healing and transformation, putting yourself first. Self care each day is your routine. Getting the rest and sleep that you deserve; eating quality food, good hydration, movement and exercise, you strengthen yourself and develop a powerful stamina of mind, body and heart. Your self entitlement blooms and grows. You embrace your full identity, individuality and creativity.
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Wed, 22 Feb 2023 - 05min - 628 - High Level Narcissists Beyond the Flawless Image: Manipulations and Deceits
If you have been married to or partnered with a high level narcissist for decades or a short time, remember that your "relationship" with this person is expendable. High level narcissists are ruthlessly wanton and careless about the feelings of others, even their own children.
Children are often used as attractive props that enhance the narcissist's image and status. After all, if your child is very attractive and has a myriad of talents and capacities, the narcissistic mother or father will have endless bragging rights.
This person is incapable of actually loving his/her child. Authentic feelings are not part of the narcissist's vocabulary. They tell great stories about their devotion to their spouses and children but this makes for great drama and image enhancement.
Spouses who get out of line by psychologically working to become individuals and separate from the narcissist become the enemy. After all, they are no longer servile--the one who gives the king or queen his crown and scepter.
Even before the divorce it is not unlikely that the narcissistic spouse has found your replacement. He or she has already drifted to new sources of psychological supply that will keep his ego fully inflated.
There is no sadness or regret from the narcissist about all of those years together. You are shocked and distraught. The high level narcissist pivots quickly to his/her next exciting supply. One partner or spouse is interchangeable with the other.
Protect yourself from the high level narcissist. Research this personality structure. Understand their strategies, the way they think--about themselves only--, their ruthlessness, horrendous lack of empathy, chronic lying, ducplicity, manipulations, empty promises.
Pay attention to your psychological, emotional and creative needs and wishes. Don't blame yourself for becoming involved in a marriage with a narcissist. They fool most people all the time.
Focus on your self, your talents, your well being and sense of inner peace. Now you will be lighter, simpler, more creative as you rediscover your authentic, grounded, original self.
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Mon, 20 Feb 2023 - 08min - 627 - Narcissistic Spiritual Gurus: Riveting, Seductive, Exploitive
There are a growing number of "spiritual teachers" who are narcissists. They are among the most magnetic and charismatic of individuals.
We are in a time of many uncertainties, a kind of roller coaster ride. Many are seeking a sense of peace and groundedness.
Coming to the rescue are "narcissistic gurus" who have all the answers. Charismatic, charming, excellent communicators and story tellers, these individual are offering courses that promise to reshape your life, to calm you down, even to make you rich. Many of these "spiritual teachers" are covert narcissists who convincingly pretend to be humble and unmaterialistic. .
Narcissistic gurus often come with fine academic credentials. Others call themselves holistic healers and medical intuitives.
Often attractive physically with excellent communications skills, they can captivate any audience within a short period of time. Many spiritual gurus travel the world, peddling their packages which cost thousands of dollars. The goal is enlightenment---the expensive way.
There are extravagent seminars to exotic, exciting locations with different levels of membership. The more you pay, the greater the access to the "guru" which could mean a seat at his/her inner golden circle.
Narcissistic spiritual gurus are confidence men and women. They don't give a damn about your psychological or spiritual welfare. They live only for themselves, their godlike images and the fruits of their labors---becoming more wealthy and controlling the minds, emotional and psyches of others.
There is a time of insight and awakening to the true nature of these narcissistic spiritual gurus who lack conscience and integrity.
This is the time to put the emphasis on your self healing and restoration: Get the rest and sleep that you deserve; healthy pure food, good hydration, spend time with Nature, the great healer, access your many creative gifts, grow in wisdom with you intuition.
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Sun, 12 Feb 2023 - 10min - 626 - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers Raise Themselves and Their Siblings
There is an extra psychological burden placed on daughters of narcissistic mothers. If they are not the chosen child they are expected to be at the instant service of mother---day and night. Some narcissistic mothers think nothing of awakening their children even in the middle of the night of they want something or just need to vent.
Their behaviors are often unpredictable and anxiety provoking to their children. Those outside the walls of the house, even those who are "close friends" of the family never have any idea of how sadistic and cruel these mothers are.
Narcissistic mothers are incapable of psychological attachment to their daughters. They view them as animate objects to be used to fulfill their goals, especially to enhance their false image of being a good parent.
In many instances the oldest daughter raises the other children in the family. Some of these girls are as young as seven years old when the entire burden of taking care of the younger one is foisted on their small shoulders. I have been in communication with a number of daughters who had to take on this role. It is quite remarkable that a young girl could be capable of this level of responsibility. These adult daughters say thet they had no choice. They were there and caring for the little ones was expected of them and they did all of the hard work.
These little mothers were never praised. Rather the narcissistic mother found every opportunity to criticize her daughter at every turn. These daughters never had a childhood; they were forced to grow up too fast. Many of them had to work from early in the morning, taking care of the very young ones, getting them off to school, taking care of them when they arrived back home and tucking them into bed at night. Meals and baths and reading were all done by the daughters of the narcissistic mother. This is remarkable.
Adult daughters of narcissistic mothers have to deal with a double burden. They dealt with the coldness, deceptions, lies and unpredictability of a non-mother.
Many of these adult daughters of narcissistic others are loving mothers to their own children. Others decide not to have chlldren. They have sustained too much emotional deprivation to consider having children of theor own and repeat the process of raising them all over again. Daughtes of narcisistic mothrs are amazing survivors who deserve our deep respect. They have done everything possible to survive psychologically and have sustained their younger siblings depite the fact that they were children themselves. The power of perseverance and compassion in these individuals is inspiring It renews our hoe in human nature.
Fri, 03 Feb 2023 - 07min - 625 - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers - Practice Self Care and Self Love
Growing up as the daughter of a narcissistic mother you didn't learn about self care or self love. It was not part of your emotional or psychological vocabulary from the beginning. You remember the constant anxiety and terror you felt with every step your narcissistic mother took toward you. You recall her terrifying eyes as she stared you down. Some of these mothers use physical abuse as a way of indocrinating their daughters; others use psychological verbal abuse, telling you from your first memories how ugly and stupid you were, that you would never amount to anything, that mother would always win. Narcissistic mothers control by way of constant intimidation, criticisms and outrageous demands that cannot be fulfilled. Often these mothers have their spouses under their control.
Daughters of narcissistic mothers have no respite. They are always in fight or flight mode---the sympathetic nervous system. They can never let down and relax because they don't know when the narcissistic mother will begin one of her cruel offensives. These non-mothers often pick a golden child and demand that the other children follow suit. They can never measure up because the system is rigged in favor of the narcissistic mother and the golden child.
After the battles of growing up the daughter of the narcissistic mother has difficulty with her sense of a solid identity. She feels guilty because she didn't meet her narcissistic mother's expectations (which were imossible). There will come a time when you become aware that your mother had a serious psychological problem.
Daughters of narcissistic mothers deserve to learn and practice Self Care and Self Love. This is part of our true natures. You are entitled to experience a sense of deep inner peace, to use your imagination spontaneously, to appreciate the magic of music, to be able to sleep with peace and a sense of security, to have full use of your unlimited creativity, to express your affection and love for others.
Self care begins with thinking about what is essential for you each day. It is learning how to quiet your mind, to get exercise that keeps you physically and psychologically strong, to find friends that are truthseekers like you who support your new life, to seek knowledge that fascinates you, to write spontaneously what is in your inner life and comes through naturally, to seek knowledge that fasinates you, to spend time outdoors and listen to the birds, watch the movement of the winds and the playing of the skies around you.
As you make the practice of self care an integral part of your days, you will begin to appreciate yourself more and finally you will know self love.
You think of the little child that survived the narcissistic mother, of her bravery borne of great durress, of how often she cried, of the incredible way that she saved her precious self. I am deeply moved by and love these special daughters.
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Fri, 27 Jan 2023 - 06min - 624 - High Level Narcissists - Their Bottomless Well of Psychological Emptiness
"In narcissistic personaities the experience of emptiness is most intense and almost constant..." (Otto Kernberg, M.D., clinical expert on the narcissistic personality).
"The narcissist's experience of emotional emptiness is beyond sadness. It is a severe and intractable wounding,..., a pain...savage and deep. The psychological (inner) landscape of the narcissist is bleak. (Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life, Linda Martinez-Lew, Ph.D., LMFT).
As a result the high level narcissist is a very restless human being, always surveying his/her external environment for narcissistic supplies: adulation, praise, self-indulgence, the company of highly attractive men and women, sexual escapes, the pursuit of material indulgence, the company of highly attractive men and women, seeking raw power to control others, manipulation of those whom they experience as competitors.
"The successful narcissist creates an intricate system of positive feedback in the form of friends, associates, partners, spouses---who perpetually fufill his endless needs." (From Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your LIfe). The narcissist is incapable of having a real relationship with another person. He/she doesn't have a relationship with himself/herself. Everything in his/her life is externalized and the most prized possession of all is the elaborate golden image that he/she creates and perpetuates all of his life.
Deep inside the narcissist experiences himself/herself as psychologically empty. These powerful feelings are unconscious to him.her. At the core the narcissist is full of self loathing, living as a false self, unable to be real, to reciprocate feelings of affection or love. Emotionally he/she is shallow and incaapable of creating or sustaining any authentic human relationships.
Narcissistic emptiness in many ways drives the high level narcissist's obsessive greed.
High level narcissists are extraordinarily greedy. Greed is an extreme desire and pursuit to obtain more than what one needs, especially material largesse. They are never satisfied with what they have and are very competitive with other narcissists.
They always must be at the very pinnacle, the top of the mountain, the guy or girl who takes home all of the marbles (even if he/she steals them from others.) In our current narcissistic society, voracious greed has become acceptable to many people.
High level narcissists surround themselves with a charmed circle of people who provide him/her with unending narcissistic supplies: praise, adoration, continuous kudos, even worship. These individuals are obsessively loyal to the narcissist as long as they can fuse with his/her grandiosity, extreme self entitlement and delusional world.
When you learn and understand the dynamics of the high level narcissistic personality, you have gained knowledge, insight and power. Now you understand what makes these individuals function, why they react with such venom and their feverish search for narcissistic supplies to fill up the bottomless pit of their psychological emptiness.
Learn how to emotionally detach from the high level narcissist and maintain your psychological boundaries. You are entitled to respect and being treated as a separate human being who has intrinsic value, integrity, dignity and wisdom.
Practice self care each day: rest and sleep that you need and deserve, revitalizing experiences with Nature, meditation as you understand this, movement and exercise that works for you, using your unique creative gifts.
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Wed, 18 Jan 2023 - 07min - 623 - The Rise of the High Level Predatory Narcissist
The high level predatory narcissist is often found at the upper echelons of power in private and public sectors. To most people they are unrecognizable in this role. These individuals are beyond clever and cunning. They are masters of image, disguise, theatre, seduction. Many attend the finest universities, have the highest credentials in many professional fields. They are exalted in our current society by many, bestowed honors and awards for their important work and looked up to as role models by their peers, followers and friends.
High level narcissistic predators are a special breed. They have climbed and succeeded to the pinnacle of their professions. Almost everyone is fooled by them. Their main focus is in wielding power and manipulating others with great skill through clandestine means. There are no limits to their ambitions. They place themselves strategically to achieve the maximum influence over others whom they view as pawns in their dirty games.
They learned the art of sizing up people early, have mastered all of the social skills and ways of flattering people into falling for them. They act like team players but behind the scenes they use associates to plot against those who would block their path. They spread lies, create ugly scenarios, defame and plot against those who get in their way.
The truth comes from those who have shared their private lives with these individuals. It is exhausting and difficult. Partners and spouses finally discover that they can no longer tolerate the abuse and suspect that there is too much immoral and unethical behavior. They must sever these toxic relationships to save themselves and their children. Divorces from these high level predatory narcissists are ugly to the max.
Those who go forward are relieved and finally free of the psychological imprisonment, secrecy and extreme oxidative stress that they have endured for decades.
Protect yourself from these highly destructive individuals who have a fixed personality disorder that is not inclined to change.
Put the emphasis on yourself. Practice self care each day - get the rest and sleep that you deserve, eat high quality nourishing food, organic if possible, good hydration, movement and exercise your way, a form of meditation as you understand this, spend time with Nature the great healer and restorer, reawaken your unique creative gifts.
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Tue, 10 Jan 2023 - 07min - 622 - Tell the High Level Narcissist - "I Can't Be Played."
Being "played" means exploited by someone who has no intention of forming a real relationship with you. The high level narcissist makes no commitments, is highly controlling and you become expendable.
You were a true believer in the limitless power of the high level narcissist. You believed his/her pledge to bind up the psychological wounds of your childhood nightmare. This was your rescue, your salvation you told yourself.
Seeking temporary pleasure of elation, acting out behaviors, you fell hard for the narcissist's artfully wrapped promises, the ancient tale of romantic triumph, the flying carpet of self indulgence.
You rose higher and higher in the thrall of the high level narcissist's hypnotic potion that drove you to fateful distractions: detours and switchbacks leading to endless circles of vapid nowheres. You were lost to yourself countless times, feeling the painful weariness, thinking you could not move forward another step.
Now you see through the delusions, demands, denials and dark secrets of the high level narcissist.
You stand awakened. Your psychological and emotional stamina hold you steady and true. You tell the high level narcissist with your actions, thoughts, creativity, psychological groundedness, spiritual clarity: "I Can't Be Played."
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Fri, 06 Jan 2023 - 04min - 621 - Narcissistic Power Couple
The narcissistic power couple is thriving in today's celebrity obsessed, social media saturate culture. We find narcissistic power couples in all professions: entertainment, politics, high tech, medicine, law, the corporate world. The power couple consists of two high level narcissists who are either married or partnered with one another.
The mos timportant aspect of their identity is their tandem perfect image, the dul personas that they present to the world. Narcissistic power couples are often physically very attractive, very sealthy, grandiose, completely self entitled, glamorous, sicoally adept, well connected to power soruces.
Together they create a synergy that magnetizes people to them.
High level narcissistic power couples are both competitive and complementary to one another. They propel one another to dizzing heights of poer, wealth and material acquisitions. With two high level narcissists the glow of their presence is enhanced and the breadth of their power and fame radiates and rsonates, cutting a generous wide swath.
Together they charm, deceive, seduce andintimidate those who would dare to unseat them. They play dirty and nice, depending on their mutual goal to control, manipulate and diminish others. They are ultra frenetic climbers who step on others to acquire and maintan unlimited power.
Narcissistic power couples laead lives that are set apart from most of us. They are whisked off on private helicopters and private jets to exclusive venues all over the world. They accululate greater aggregates of wealth and power because they have close contacet with the "right people" who make sure that their timing for making profits is always precise.
The inner world of the high leve narcissistic couples is shallow, vapid, rancorous, without meaning These individuals are burned out cases, devoice of genuine human warmth and empathy.
Their "act" is worn, pathetic, empty and enert: a psychological wasteland.
You are the opporiste of the high level narcissistic couple. You possess great integrity and are genuine, compassionate and empathic. Your conscience is well developed and you are true individual of fine charcters.
Remember to take very good care of yourself: Get good rest and sleep--you deserve these times of respite and healing, eat pure food, organic if you can, good hydration, movement and exercise that works for you; express your feelings through spontaneous writing, lovely music to both calm and uplift you. Discover a form of meditation that works for you: spending time with Nature, a gentle yoga practice, rediscover the beauty, transformative power of great art. Pracice self care and self regard as often as you can. You are blessed; let your Light shine!
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Thu, 29 Dec 2022 - 09min - 620 - High Level Narcissists Triple Down on Their Ever-Present Hubris
Hubris in man is ever-present. Wherever there is pride there is hubris. The story of the angels cast into Hell for their hubris remains with us.
The word hubris comves from the ancient Greek, meaning extreme pride and extreme overconfidence.
Hubris is outrageous. Aristotle defined hubris as shaming the victim
The high level narcissist gains pleasure from his/her hurbristic acts. He/she is not called out on these dark deeds if they hold sway and power, if they are high placed sociall and economically.
Those who are married to or partnered with or children of hubristic high level narcissists are victims of their extreme psychopathology.
You spend years and decades married to one of these individuals go through a series of leaving them, returning and continuing the cycle to the incresing stress, psychophysiological imbalances, mood and anxidty disorders, chronic insomnia, re-traumatization from childhood.
When high level narcissists are shamelessly bad they will never admit they are wrong. All that matters is getting their way every time. When cornered they double and triple down on their lies, dceits, manipulations, exploitations and gain pleasure from domonating their spouses, ex-spouses, children, siblings business associates. Unlike you they have no shame---never did and never will. They are always right no matter their horrific misdeeds and betrayals.
They draw around them a golden circle of followers and hangers on who are loyal to them no matter what the issue. They feed off of the high level's extreme pride, economic largesse and social power.
The high level narcissist has no reason to change. This is a fixed personality disorder.
When you awaken and decide that you must separate out from the high level narcissist, this is a great moment of insight and mental and psychological clarity.
With great perseverance, wisdom and resolve you recognize that you are entitled to move forward as a separate, unique individual who deserves the full use of all of your creative gifts, to develop relationships based on self respect and integrity. . You are moving into the parasympathetic pathways of restoration, healing and the fulfillment of your original, true, creative self.
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Thu, 15 Dec 2022 - 08min - 619 - High Level Narcissists - Masters of Deception and Easy Lies
The high level narcissist creates a compartmentalized world of lying and deception. Being married and honorable to his/her parrtner is not part of the narcissist's view of conscience. The high level narcissist is answerable exclusively to his/her needs, wants, whims, fancies, fantasies, desires. You can never trust the wrodl of the narcissist since they lie constantly and naturally.
They have been perfecting this skill since early childhood.
Why would they change these mendacious behaviors. Lies for them are an easy smooth route to their primary goals of complete control and the manipulation of everyone in his/her private and professional arenas.
Emotiona detachment is an essential facet of the narcisistic personality. The high level narcissist cannot express genuine emotions. He/she is putting on a brilliant show, a master class in method acting.
The high level narcissist who cannot be in touch with his/her authentic self and the emotions that follow is incapable of psychological intimacy and possesses a coldness tha runs through the core ofhis personality.
You ar the opposite of the high level narcissist: genuine, warm, deep, empathic, real. You can no longer share your days with the great deceiver, the narcissistic personality. This is your time to move forward on your journey of recovery, healing, transformation and creativity. Your intuitive guide leads the way: put yourself first. Eat well, move in ways that work for you, rest and sleep. Get in touch with your unique creativity. You are moving with the winds of wonder and beauty and creativity at your back. You deserve the wisdom and grace of your many creative gifts and unique individuality.
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Tue, 06 Dec 2022 - 06min - 618 - Meet the Psychologically Impaired Real Self of the Narcissistic Personality
Beneath a series of charming, alluring, charismatic masks and artifices lies the true embattled, damaged real self of the narcissist. No one perceived the inner core of this person. It is cleverly concealed with a highly inflated ego, an impeccable facade and persona. The socalled successsful narcissist surrounds himself/herself with material possesions, oulent lifestyles, houses, cars, trappins that speak loudly: "I am theb est; I am a winner, I am perfect; I am very special." in a series of self-congratulatory pronouncements.
The narcissist is a very restless, easiy bored human being. He cnnot simple "be." Often peripattetic with a high metaborlic rate, he goes about his/her life at full speed. Everyone must keep up with him. He doesn't slow down or stop for anyone. He/she is always on his way to the top, to winning under any and all circumstances no matter whom he hurts or discards. His/her goal is always to top and better others. The narcissist truly believes conscously that he/she is superior and better than othres. These "inferior" individuals exist only to serve him/her. The narcissist is running so fast as a defense against the self negative feeling that he/she is concealing deep inside the unconscious, in the impaired real self.
The core of the narcissistic personality remains for the most part unknown to the narcissist himself. This is due to his/her impenetrable defense mechanisms, especially Denial.
Inability to have insight is caused by an inner psychic core that is hollow, inert, fragmented, severely regressed--at approximately two years of age. This is the age at which the psychic structure of this child stopped growing and evolving.
Those who share their lives with narcissistic personalities, especially spouses and children, trvel a very difficult and complex path. Since the narcissist is incapable of empathy and does not have a developed conscience, spouses and children are treated like human possessions that the narcissist has under his absolute control.
The narcissist controls spouses and children without mercy. He keeps them from expressing themselves as authentic, separate individuals.
You come to a time of decision knowing that you will free yourself from the narcissistic personality.
Continue your journey of the evolution of your true self. This is your intrinsic right and destiny.
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Wed, 30 Nov 2022 - 10min - 617 - Reclaim Your True Self from the Toxic High Level Narcissist
Whether you are the daughter, son, sibling, spouse, ex-spouse or partner of a narcissistic personality you have been victimized by one of these psychologically toxic individuals. Through their contaminated personalities with strong negative qualities of cruelty, dismissiveness, chronic lying, deception, exploitation and plans they execute to turn your family and friends against you through pernicious gossip and innuendo, the narcissistic personality wreaks havoc and horrendous duress for which he or she is never held accountable
Most people don't undersatnd how one individual can be so callous and cruel. When those victimized by narcissists tell their story to close relatives and friends, they are not believed. or the person will say: "Get over it." "You are exaggerating." "Where are you getting all of these irrational ideas about him/her." And on and on.
It is nauseating to watch the level of delusion in which many people live. They want to believe the best about narcisistic personalities---Really? Do they know anything about this severe psychopathology? No! Do they want to find out? No! They want "happy talk" and nothing more. I suggest that if you have been victimized by a high level narcissist and you are in the process of recovery, keep your distance from those who don't believ you. It is not worth all the torment, lack of understanding and absence of respect that you go through with those who make no effort to comprehend the level of your duress.
Focus on your healing process. Associate with people you can trust and will continue to be supportive and watch you grow. Give yourself tremendou credit for reclaiming and rescuing yourself on every level: physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual.
Practice self care in the ways that work best for you: rest and sleep, rediscovering your creativity, nouriishing food, good hydration, meditation in the way that you understand this process, spending time with Nature.
You are moving forward along the pathways of your evolving true self with all of your creative gifts, embracing your individuality and rediscovering your magnificent freedom.
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Thu, 24 Nov 2022 - 09min - 616 - Covert Narcissistic Spouses Max Out Your Stress Levels
Covert narcississts are a rare breed whom most poeple believe are fine human beings. While they are showing their enhanced false personas, everyone is buying their story and heaping on praise, You are married to this impossible person. Very few outside of the family will ever find out how psychologically toxic the covert narcissist is.
Spouses are victims of narcissistic abuse---veiled threats to ruin your reputation, constant put downs and stunning humiliations, being told that you are at fault (when it is the narcissist who has made egregious mistakes), bout after bout of Vesuvian narcissistic rage. Some spouses feel that they deserve this horrendous treatment because they think little of themselves. They have been emotionally and psychologically pummeled all of their days and don't kow the difference.
Some know that the marriage is a trvesty, that they are suffering from serious symptoms of stress--They are maxed out with chronic headaches, free floating anxiety, hyper-vigilance, chronic insomnia, intestinal discomforts and obsessive self doublt and lack of confidence.
Those who recognize that they can no longer tolerate the emotional, psychological and physiological pain and stress chronically projected upon them, make the decision to sever the relationship through divorce or separation.
As you awaken start with self care each day: getting the sleep and rest you need and deserve, nourishing food, pure water, sleep and rest that you need and deserve.
Spend time with Nature for healing and restoration, expressive writing that expands your consciousness and restores your psycholgical grounding.
Now you move forward in hope, creativity, personal freedom and the full expression of yourself as a unique, precious, extraordinary individual.
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Thu, 17 Nov 2022 - 09min - 615 - High Level Narcissists - Lords of Chaos
High level narcissists live srictly for themelves. They bring individuals into their lives---spouses, partners, ex-spouses, children, siblings, friends, business associates, to play "roles" that build and enhance their grandiose images and masks of their ubiquitous false selves. Narcissists are disingenuous, incapable of being true, real or authentic.
High level narcissists create chaois, pain and destruction wherever they go. Those who have grown up as children of a narcissistic mother or father, know this story too well. I hear from many of these children and the tales are hair-raising. Children are emotionally and psychologically neglected, treated like dirt or in the other extreme---chosen as perfect living replicas of themselves. These ar the golden children who are picked from the rest of the pack for their physical beauty or handsomeness, intellectual brightness, athletic potential, social graces---they embellish the high level narcissist's self image. On the opposite end are the children who are treated with derision and scorn, those who are beaten verbally or physically, neglected and cast out as "inferior" from the day they were born. They are the forsaken, the wretched ones of the family. The narcissistic parent has no problem inflicting severe leveals of abuse since he/she doesn't have a conscience and no capacity for empathy, compassion or guilt.
If you are the child of a high level narcissist, married to or divorcing a narcissist or have any relationship with one of these toxic individuals, your greatest assets are the power and depth of your knowledge of the narcissistiic personality and routines and practices of self care: Learn to appreciate your real self deeply. Develop a sense of self entitlement: get the sleep and rest that you deserve --Learn how to practice rest. You deserve this! If you are resting and fall asleep, this is so positive; it is what you need and deserve. Movement and exercise that works for you; keeping solitude with yourself; expressive writing with a pen as you write down unedited thoughts, feelings, dreams, reveries. Explore your creativity in all of its forms: sketching, painting, gardening, taking photo, cooking, dancing, singing and the gifts of your imagination. Move at your own pace; no one can rush you and tell you how to speak, move, think, imagine, discern, pray, sing, write---Be your precious individual self.
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Sat, 12 Nov 2022 - 11min - 614 - Narcissistic Matriarchs - Escaping from the War Zone
It is remarkable that some extraordinary individuals survive their narcissistic families. With a narcissistic mother as matriarch and a favorite narcissistic daugher (or son) who is her top lieutenant, it becomes impossible for the other children to have the psychological space and peace to grow and become accepted for themselves. Non-narcissistic brothers and sisters are both dismissed and severely punished. Behind the closed gates and doors of the narcissistic family, horrible deeds occur.
The narcissistic mother exploits her children. Those who are favored by mother are adored, indulged and given no limits. The favored child often treats his/her brothers and sisters with disdain and disrespect and acts very superior.
For many children of narcissistic mothers the time of reckoning comes. They can no longer take the extreme abuse, the constant lies and recriminations. Some of them marry to escape the matriarchal war zone. Others leave this war zone and find their way to become independent and free of this mire of psychopathology.
Those who save themselves are to be deeply commended. You have chosen a pathway of healing, restoration and the evolution of the true, authentic, creative self.
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Sun, 06 Nov 2022 - 09min - 613 - High Level Narcissists Are Shameful But Shameless
Shame is an uncomforatble emotions most of us experience. When we are shamed, we feel like we want to disappear, to become invisible. Shame is an intolerable feeling. We are humiliated and feel very small, even non-existent. Children who have been shamed by their parent(s) often carry these feelings into adulthood. Deeply ingrained shame can lead to a sense of inadequacy, unworthines and not having a solid resilient sense of self.
The narcissistic personality is the opposite. He or she can commit the cruelest acts and say the meanest words to another with the intention of hurting them and feel absolutely no shame or guilt as a result. Narcissists have no sense of limits. They lead their lieves without the borders of decency, compassion or conscience. Narcissists go to any lengths to get what they want.
Male and female narcissists are particularly shameful when it comes to personal, intimate relationships, including marriage. To ost narcissists, marriage is not a true union---it is a one sided business deal.
Narcissists are not good parents. They are too self absorbed, greedy and self entitled to give their attention and care to a small child. They will make sure that the family photos are seen by all of those who count. This is part of their elaborate image that must be perpetuated. Children of narcissistic parents often speak of how they were abandoned, forgotten or never emembered.
There is a time when you awaken to the true nature of this non-relationship with a narcissistic spouse or partner. Research and become knowledgeable about the narcissistic personality.
Practice self care each day: Get the rest and sleep that you need and deserve. Eat nourishing food and hydrate with pure water. Get the movement and exercise that works for you. Spend time with Nature the great healer, rediscover your true, authentic, creative self.
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Mon, 31 Oct 2022 - 10min - 612 - High Level Narcissists Dwell in Psychological Darkness
The external image of the high level narcissist is the polar opposite of his/her internal world. On the outside the classic narcissist is often physically attractive, highly self confident, overflowing with charm. You feel the strong handshake, the eyes that penetrate your gaze, the rising of the jaw that tells you they are sure of every step. They spin phenomenal visions that are fueled by their grandiosity. Many people are facinated by the narcissist in full bloom, exhibiting all of his/her persuasive gifts.
Beneath the glittery, irresistible surface, the inner world of the high level narcissist is empty, bleak and dark. There is an inert quality to the inner narcissist. These individuals are unacquainted with their unconscious feelings about themselves. They believe their finely spun delusions. They convince others that they are superior and super human. Their followers are blindly loyal and believe they can do no wrong. Deep in the unconsicous the narcissist is drowning in his/her self loathing and fraudulence. He is psychologically empty and emotionally rudderless.
If you are married to or partnered with a high level narcissist, despite the role that you play, know that this person is never going to change. This is a severe personality disorder that is fixed and rigid. The narcissist lives in a psychological darkness that pulls others down into its depths.
How long will you stay and be disastrously affected by this individual. Are there enough material rewards to cover up the stench of his/her vile deeds and deceits.
Listen and you will hear the voice of your intuition rising, speaking to you in a compelling tone, telling you: "Get out now. Leave. Don't stay or you will be trapped and lose yourself."
There are many who have successfully removed themselves from the high level narcissist's world. They have re-discovered themselves as individuals. The cracks of light have lengthened. You see through the narcissist's curtains of delusions and false personas.
Practice self care each day: rest, sleep, eat nourishing food, pure water, movement and exercise your way, a form of meditation that fits your definition, time with Nature that is grounding and restorative.
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Fri, 28 Oct 2022 - 05min - 611 - Rescuing Yourself From the Grand Delusions of the High Level Narcissist
As much as you have studied, anayzed and experienced the high level narcissist, the unbounded heights of their grand delusions of self are astounding. Watching them perform is both riveting and appalling.
The high level narcissist builds his/her delusons over time starting with the earliest years particularly if he/she is the golden child. In some families there are a couple of children who are branded as pure gold, highly prized, invaluable, perfect.
If you are treated and told from babyhood that you are perfect, can make no mistakes, that you reign above others in every respect, it is understandable that certain children would take on the identity of the high level narcissist. With mother and/or father continually showering you with compliments, statements about your brillance, myriad of gifts, your personal powers of charm, self confidence and charisma, it is not surprising that the golden child narcissist is born of the heavy prental barrages of a kind of worhsip on their part. Their other children are considered very mediocre.
Contributing to the grand delusion of the narcissist is the lack of conscience which doesn't develop. This is the result of the parents' not placing any limits or boundaries on the budding narcissist. These parents doen't teach this child right and wrong, the capacity for empathy or an interest and respect for individuals other them himself/herself.
As a result the budding high level lacks a conscience. Of course he or she would not be foolish enough to get caught in their lying wys. They are cunning and clever enough to cover their tracks and in some instances create a diversion and manipulate that works so that others are blamed for their misdeeds. Beneath the surface in the unconscious the high level narcissist is psychologically a two year old tantrum mode when he/she doesn't completely get his way, despite his/her negative character traits: demanding, outrageous, manipulative, exploitive callousness.
Are you too familiar with this description and analysis of the high level narcissist? Were you married to or partnered with one of these impossible individuals? Did you have to deal with a high level narcissistic parent who treated you with humiliations and disdain?
At a point of awakening you are clear about the true nature of the high level narcissist, his/her delusions, cunning, lack of conscience, exploitiveness, mendacity, total lack of empathy.
Practice self care each day: get the rest and sleep you need and deserve, eat pure food--organic if you can, movement and exercise that works for you, your form of meditation.
Give yourelf great credit for the journey you have taken, the insights you have made, the perserverance that leads you to this point of awakening and choosing yourself, that wonderful individual of courage and wisdom. You ride now with the wind at your back; the vistas are wide and beautiful, the beginnings of new chapters to be written by you are straight ahead.
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Fri, 21 Oct 2022 - 06min - 610 - Malevolent Narcissists and Their Beasts of Burden
A beast of burden is defined as an animal who carries heavy loads or must do very hard work.
Narcississists often put their children, spouses, siblings and othes in these roles as human beasts of burden. Ineffect their children, spouses and siblings are their servants.
The malevolent narcissist is imperious. He/she is the ruler in every "relationship." Children of narcissists lead their lives at the mercy, whim, impulse, psychopathology of their highly disturbed parents. The narcissisist gives orders---quite literally---and those close to him/her are expected to obey on the spot. Growing up, children depend on the parent for survival. They have no alternative. Being raised by a narcissistic parent, the child has no real support, validation, emotional closeness, feelings of security or protection or sense of entitlement. Children growing up with a narcissistic parent(s) describe that they felt like prisoners in their own homes. Often they hid from the narcissistic mother or father, fearing that they would have to tolerate one more screaming session, accusation, humiliation, volleys of criticisms and threats. These children live under emotional and psychological siege. They have trouble sleeping at night. They feel unsafe in their own homes. Some suffer from constant free floating anxiety.
The narcissistic parent is highly demanding of what he or she wants and must have. Angry commands must be responded to. Chores must be done perfectly on the spot. Nothing is ever good enough for the narcissistic parent. He/she always finds flaws and the chilllllld is a fault. This is the narcissist's serious delusional state not the child's.
The narcissistic spouse is impossible---making outrageos demands, throwing criticisms right and left, making the partner feel unworthy and defective. Many spouses of these narcissists stay married to them. They continue to take the psychological blows and to become human beasts of burden who will do the bidding of the narcissistic partner, regardless of how depleted, exhausted or frustrated they are. They are devoted to someone who is hurting them. They feel the stress and pain and the mental distress---yet they continue in these roles, often throughout the marriage. When the narcissist gets too bored with someone he/she can kick around too easiyl, this person will be discarded and replaced.
Some narcissisic spouses keep their human beasts of burden indefinitely. They hae found someone who is loyal, will always fulfill their every need--regardless of its outrageousnes and continue to adore and provide the narcissist with cascades of narcissistic supplies.
There are others who come to an awakening and recognize that you will put yourself first.
As a result of your research and clear intuitive sight you see through the false personas, the true nature of the malevolent narcissist. Now you have opened your pathways to rediscovering the gifts and boons of your original true self.
Give yourself credit for your persevrance, courage, your strong belief in yourself, your mental and psychological stamina. Focus on yourself and movement into the restorative, calming pathways of the parasympathetic of self care and the full use of your unique creative gifts.
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Sat, 15 Oct 2022 - 06min - 609 - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers - You Are Not Alone
Many daughters of narcissisic mothers don't realize for years that this woman projected that she detested you daily. If you were scapegoated, your childhood was exceedingly harsh. You were aaat the mercy of a sadistic, cold mother.
On the outside there are acquaintances and friends of your narcississtic mother who believ that she is the best human being on the face of the earth. She is so devoted to her children despite her outside career. She worked constantly on this external person to make everyone believe what a fine mom she was.
Inside the home narcissistic mother is a completel nightmare. These non-mothers are cold and inexpressive. They don't have a moment to speak with their daughters who needs them. They are always busy, rushing to work, spending evenings completely out of touch with their children.
Some narcissistic mothers choose one daughter as a target for the worse abuse. I have known these daughters who weathered daily intmidations and humiliations, constantly undermining this child.
There are daughters of narcissistic mothers who leave the houshold early. They can no longer tolerate the level of maternal narcissistic abuse.
I congratulate your courage and fortitude. You know the truth. You are a fine human being. Your mother is a severe personality disorder.
Daughters of narcissistic mothers: I Hear You and See Your Tears, that lost, forlorn look on your face, the longing in your gut to be held and hugged, the deepest wish for a loving maternal gaze, a mother's words of praise and pride in her daughter.
Take time for yourself; listen to the internal voice telling you to: rest, sleep, find solitude, resdiscover your creativity, humor, your own pace, beautiful music, freedom to express yourself in te most authentic ways that are characteristic of you as a unique individual.
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Mon, 10 Oct 2022 - 09min - 608 - The Beast of Greed Drives High Level Narcissists
Human greed has been with us for tens of thousands of years. Greed is one of the great sins---the relentless pursuit of wealth, properties, luxurious possessions and the dark manipulations that are part of this game of pursuing more. In society there are high level nrcissists throughout history who have based the purpose of their existence on how much they could acquire and control. This is at the core of their being day and night.
Greedy high level narcissists are highly manipulative. With their obsessive need for more they plot and plan how they will exploit others, including their spouses, ex-spouses, relatives, children, "friends", business associates. Everyone presents an opportunity for the high level "use" others to keep their egos fully inflated.
Male and female high level narcissists pursue partners and prospective spouses who are well connected socioeconomically. Heirs and heiresses are their favorites. This is the perfect partner for one of these high stepping, material largesse, obsessed high level narcissists. They do deep research to find the precise individuals who will fit their specifications. This person must be very attractive, well educated at fine schools and very impressive social connections.
High level greeedy narcissits are "gifted" at finding their way into these privileged circles.
Often attractive and handsome with magnetic charm, they engage theindividuals on their A list of possible conquests. The high level knows exactly how to play people, make them feel unique and special, cater to their interests, passions, wishes and what make them tick. They know exactly how to flatter you with their words and charming non-verbals: riveting eye contact, appearing to be fascinated by everything you say and do. These are award winning method actor performances.
Many are enraptured by the high level narcissists and so captivated they partner with and marry, these high climbers. Some times the partner has no idea that he or she is being manipulated and exploited. The narcissistic partner insists on using your assets and properties to finance their excursions into business deals. For narcissistic personality what belongs to you is theirs. When the greedy high level narcissist has acquired enough money is tired of the current spouse, hr or she moves on to the next money making source. It's like gold prospecting. You strike gold, mine it out and then move on to the next possible gold rush.
For the high level narcissist you are a comodity and resource that makes him very rich. You are interchangeable with others. If you don't bring it forward he will easily find someone else. For the high level greedy narcissist, everyone is expendable.
If you are partnered or married to a greedy high level narcissist there is a time of reckoning of becoming awakened to the true nature of the narcissistic personality. You can no longer be exposed to their psychological and moral toxicity. You are exhausted from their taking advantage of you, psychologically, financially, emotionally, creatively and spiritually.
You stand firmly grounded on your individual wisdom and insight. Now you move forward along the pathways of the healing and the restorative parasympathetic of self-care, the fruits of your unique creativity, the beauty of your self expression, spontaneity, solitude of inner peace. Give yourself tremendous credit for this journey and always listen to your intuition.
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Tue, 04 Oct 2022 - 08min - 607 - Covert Narcissists are Determined to Psychologically Diminish You
Covert narcissists create and maintain a delusional world where they are perfect and everyone else is flawed except for those who dwell within their tightly controlled golden circles. It is from these chosen individuals that the narcissist receives abundant overflowing cascades of narcissistic supplies: praise, adulation, veneration, perpetual positive attention and affirmation. The covert narcissist is unable and unwilling to look inside at his/her character flaws, his multiple cruelties perpetrated on to others, including spouses, partners children and siblings. Though highly judgmental and demeaning of his fellow human beings, the covert is decidedly unintrospective. He moves through life at mach speed, disrupting the snese of security and inner peace of all those who bruise his/her grandiose ego.
Control obsessed, the covert directs with minute detail the actions, feelings, thoughts and words of those closest to them. He/she is a ominous prsence in their daily lives, a specter of terror and dread.
The covert with his/her undramatic, underplayed image fools most people. Gifted at affecting a believable fake empathy, he/she passes himself/herself off as a fine human being of solid character who always want the best for you.
All of this is a lie, a delusion, a mirage, a cruel farce.
Covert narcississ are determined to break you psychologically and emotionally by keepin you in the fight or flight mode, a state of psychophysiological siege so that you will submit to their sadistic demands.
They keep you panicked and immobilized so that yo compromise yor good judgment and relinquich your power over to them.
They seize on your fear of abandonment to keep you psychologically fused with them and at their command.
They infliect guilt on you when irinically they are the moral and emotional transgressors.
They seek revenge when you show assertion or independence of though or action. They threaten to dissemble your close relationships with others by gossiping and spreading ugly rumors and lies about your character.
With secret cunning they can devise long range intricate plans to steal your perosnal financial assets and properties and leave you with nothing.
After many years spent under the domination and duress of the covert narcissist, you have a time of reckoning. You know clearly through your research, discernment and intuition that you are separating from and leaving the covert narcissistic spouse/partner. You move forward along the pathways of self care and the evolution of your authentic, creative self. You are steadfast and grounded. The winds are at your back. Give yourself tremendous credit for advocating and acting for yourself---a precioius, strong, grounded individual of great character!
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Mon, 26 Sep 2022 - 09min - 606 - Prevailing Over the Malevolent High Level Narcissist
In a roiling sea of high level narcissists you are often in a state of anxiety, worry, self-doubt, uncertainty, confusion. This is not surprising since the high level narcissist is a tricky, shape shifting individual.
Infused with mesmerizing charm, gifts of seduction and persuasion it is difficult not to become entranced with the high level. The possess a kind of magic presence drawn from one of their enchanting personas. Their eye contact is riveting, almost hyponotic. We feel their appraisal and moves toward us. They step up their game and make plans to catch you in their psychological butterfly nets.
The high level narcissist searches out those whom he/she wants to become part of is coterie, his enchanted circle, that place of honor that the high level bestows on people in his/her intimate enclave. After years of blind devotion and arduous work the narcissist will discard you without ceremony if he/she hasa found someone better to serve his outrageous demands and impossible standards. His/her search for self-aggrandizement has no bounds. Above all the high level narcissist is ultimately an exploiter, usurping the talents, creative energies and at times the morality and decency of others.
Exploitive and controlling, the high leel narcissist plots and plans his/her moves toward you.
As you move through your awakening to the true nature of the high level narcissist, remember who you are---the exact opposite of these individuals.
You can and will prevail and recover and restore your true original self.
Be reminded of the gifts which are unique to you. You are strong, sensitive, kind, intelligent, empathic, resolute, of fine character, creative and holy within.
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Thu, 22 Sep 2022 - 05min - 605 - High Level Narcissist: Lies, More Lies and Damn Lies
You have known for too many seasons that your partner/spouses was lying to yu by commission and omission.
High level narcissists get a thrill out of lying to you. You are under his/her control and the narcissist knows that he/she can play you any he wants. The high level has taken your measure and found your deepest vulnerabilities, your empathy, integrity, individuality.
The shameless narcissist lies with ease. Chronic lying is a permanent personality fixture of the high level narcissist.
As the high level narcissist lies, he/she oozes charm that reinforces your attachment to them.
You made countless efforts to convince yourself that the narcissistic spouse or partner is a good person. You hold on to your false beliefs about the high level narcisist and as a result postpone your right to inner peace, respect for your personal boundaries and the rediscovery of your limitless creative gifts.
Now your compass is due North----finding the source, the beauty, the hope, calm, solitude, creativity and individuality unbounded.
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Sun, 18 Sep 2022 - 04min - 604 - Covert Narcissists Always Betray You
Covert narcissists flash sunny smiles and sigh about your psychological pain but thrive in secret fantasies of raising themselves up and bringing you down. Most people are completely fooled by the covert narcissist. This is not surprising since their camoflage is impeccable. Covert narcissists talk in self effacing even humble ways about themselves. They downplay their worldly achievements while making sure that you hear every detail about them. They downplay their worldly achievements while making sure that you hear every detail about them. They play just plain folks, secretly telling themselves how superior they are. Covert narcissists are highly competitive even while playing the role of servant. In their professionala nd personal lives they plot ahead how they will defeat you. They intimately understand your weaknesses and sore spots, the places in you that are fragile and eff shell thin.
Cover narcissists move forward with great force to get exactly what they want. Operating in the psychological shadow, the covert narcissist has displaced and discarded you before you feel the full impact of the abandonment. There are no pangs of conscience for these individuals, only victory. The covert narcissist collects admirers and followers like charms on a solid gold bracelet.
The best offense against the covert narcissist is your excellent research and your deep intuition. You will hear their treacle tongued words, praising you and scoring points---persuading you to trust them. The covert narcissist is a skilled actor, a master at flattery, pseudo empathy and false humility. If you are steady and receptive to the subtle cues, you will recognize this secretive narcissist with dispatch. Step out of their pathway and move forward. Their are too many authentic individuals in the world to be psychologically abused by one of these cunning operators.
Trust your inner wisdom as ou move forward along pathways that lead to your healing, restoration, transformation and the evolution of your authentic, true, creative self.
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Fri, 09 Sep 2022 - 07min - 603 - Rescue Yourself from Partnership/Marriage to Psychologically Toxic High Level Narcissists
Many people are so taken with the compelling, thrilling, seductive false selves of the high level narcissist that they are incapable and unwilling to perceive these malevolent individuals for who they truly are--vile exploiters of those whom they psychologically and meantal control. With cunning, a contagion of charm and promises of worldly success, the high level narcissist moves through his/her days with ebullient self confidence.
Their delusions of grandeur and perfection are seamless. Their upward trajectory can be explained by their obsession with self aggrandisement.
When things go wrong they make sure that someone else is always blamed---often an associate or marital partner who doesn't understand how virulent this personality is.
Their obsessive focus is always themselves, what they are entitled to have, whom they will control, how much power they will acquire, how they will defeat their enemies---real and imagined, while maintaining an impeccable persona.
A quote from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your life summarizes these qualities: "The narcissist has an incredible sense of self-entitlement. Everything is about him and belongs to him. He/she smoothly oversteps the personal boundaries of others, mistreating, devaluing and humiliating them to bend them to his will and his desires."
After a number of years, you come to a time of awakening to the true nature of the high level narcissist. As a result of your research and clear intuitive sight you see through the false personas of the high level narcissist.
Give yourself credit for your perseverance, courage your strong belief in yourself, your mental and psychological stamina. Focus on yourself and moement into the restorative, calming pathways of the parasympathetic of self care and the full use of your unique creative gifts.
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Sun, 04 Sep 2022 - 07min - 602 - Narcissistic Golden Daddy's Girl -- Cruel, Cold, Ruthless
Born very attractive, even beautiful, bright, extroverted, charming. She is chosen by her narcissistic father and dependent mother to rule the household, upending the lives of the children in the family.
From the beginning she is queen of the household. There is a strong psychological relationship between father and daughter.
Since early childhood his golden daughter is never corrected and controlled. She is allowed to givein to all of her impulses and whims while the other children are treated strictly and have to tow the line.
She can do no wrong; she walsy gets what she wants and is always right espcially when she is very wrong.
She is sent to the fines schools while the other children have to take these responsibilities on their ow.
Althoug she is extremely demanding, narcissistic mother never says no to her.
As a young adult golden girl has a pattern of seducing men; creating female enemies. She is a betrayer from the beginning, finding it thrilling to seduce and win the boyfriends of some of her best friends. As she grows older she graduaes to having affairs with partners of her friends and acquaintances, just because itis very exciting and she thrives on the the precarious psychological edge.
The two top forces within this golden daughter that motivates everything are manipulation and control over others to see power and material largesse.
She climbs higher and higher on the top rungs of the professional and social ladders. leaving many disrupted, exhausted, traumatized individuals behind. This golden girl narcissist never looks back. She thinks of those she has vanquished as weak, timid, incompetent, professionally wanting and socially unskilled.
In a d word,this womanis calculating, knowing exactly where she needs to go to satify her extraordinary appetites.
She moves adroitly from one partner to the next, ever climbing, having affairs throughout the journey.
This golden girl becomes notorious for her sheer nerve and ambition. She has a couple of kids for image purposes only and famr.s them off for othes to raise. When family photos are taken, she is depicted as a loving mother in the perfectly produced images that fool everyone.
Golden girl narcissist attracts coteries of faithful admirers and sychophants that identify with her professional success and impeccable image. She is envied among many societal movers and shakers.
Will she pay for her psychological sins, the trespasses that have harmed so many as she climbed, stepping over othrs to pursue her limitless ambitions. Don't wait for her to be punished or pulled back from her high perch.
Take the reins in your capable hands, recognize he true nature of this destructive narcissistic personality.
Charter your own true North course; practice self care, seek inner peace, sleep, rest, good nourisment, hydration, movement, exercise, beautiful music, activate your unique creativity.
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Thu, 01 Sep 2022 - 09min - 601 - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers - Lost and Found/Surviving and Thriving
I hear from daughters who were trapped in the narcissistic family wars and psychopathologies. The narcissistic mother is without mercy or empathy. Narcissistic mothers who give their daughters a lot of "attention" have their own selfish motives. They are creating the perfect child who will become the ultimate narcissistic supply for them. Mother has modeled a living replica of her superiority and perfection. When children are very young, their very existence and sense of reality depends on how they are treated and how they are conditioned by their parents. Some narcissistic mothers fuse psychologically with their young daughters. The little child is encased in the psychologically prison her mother has created.
Some daughtes of narcissistic mothers become narcissistic personalities---miniatures of the pathological mother. Other daughters suffer thorughout childhood, always out of step with the cruel manipulations of their cruel, cold mothers. Some spent most of their childhood leaerning how to become invisible. They hid in their room, reading, listening to music. As they got older, they were away from the house as much as possible, visiting friends, sitting in public libraries, going to movies alone or just wandering around by themselves, doing anything toavoid mother---the fire tongued dragon blocking the cave's entrance.
Some daughters become entngled in a maze of dysfunctional relationships. They marry narcissistic men and discover they are repeating with them the entrenched familiar patterns of their family of origin---moving from narcissistic mother to narcissistic spouse.
If you are the daughters of a narcissistic mother, you have survived a very difficult journey. Take stock---embrace and celebrate you unique individual you are. Practice self care: be sure to get the rest that you need each day and the sleep that you deserve. Movement and exercise work to keep you grounded psychologically and physically. Spend time with Nature, the great restorer and source of Beauty. Explore and appreciate your unique creative gifts.
The little child is encased in the psychological prison her mother has created. Mother's message: "As long as you do, think, feel and achieve everything that I expect and demand of you, I will accept you and love you (on my terms
Thu, 25 Aug 2022 - 09min - 600 - Growing Up in Narcissistic Families
Toxic narcissists have neither limits of decency nor respect for other human beings, including family members. One narcissist allowed to abuse, control and bully freely over decades can psychologically decimate many members of one family. One of he worst constellations is the mother/father narcissistic duos. Children of these unions have it very tough. It is all about their selfish, self absorbed, cold and often enraged narcissistic parents. Children from these families learn survival skills the hard way.
Many of the victims of growing up in a narcissistic family spend yeasrs in the healing process. They learn to recognize and appreciate their identities are separate from their narcissistic family members.
Begin with self care each day: Get the rest and sleep that you need and deserve; move and exercise your way; listen to music that is very meaningful to you; spontaneous writing with a pen and paper in an unedited way offers opportunities for open personal and creative expression. Spend time with Nature and its incredible variety and beauty. Give yourself tremendous credit for the journey of restoration and transformation that you are taking. Be very kind and patient with the little child inside of you.
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Fri, 19 Aug 2022 - 08min - 599 - Ego Driven Greed of High Level Narcissists
Today we are surrounded by countless greedy high level narcissist in a society that has become exceedingly materialistic, coarse, Darwinian, soulless.
The high level narcissist is an elaborate act: false, cunning, acquisitive and very greedy.
The greediest are the haves, the have mores and the have mosts---always in an acquisitive states that feeds their hungry egos They go after what yo have---properties, investments, residences, business, valuable possessions, trusts, works of art.
They feed off of your creativity and steal your projects---all the while leading you to believe that they are collaborating and contributing to your success.
Narcissists are never team players. This is a pretense, a strategy, a ruse, a well honed act to gain your trust and ultimately to control you and the products of your unique creativity.
No matter how much they have and get,, it is never enough for the high level narcissist. The fever of acquisitiveness rises with every acquisition. You cannot win with these individuals if you stay partnered with them unless you are willing to become their psychological prisoners and forfeit your individuality, your unique gifts and your inner peace.
The high level narcissist doesn't care if you are left with nothing. They get what they want, discard you and move on to the next shining prize.
There is hope and redemption with those who remain steady in their grounded fine characters, steady and rising in their creative gifts. We fine them on the byways, not the main road. This is the pathway of the authentic self that speaks to you each. You are being lead by the voice of wisdom---your intuition.
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Sun, 14 Aug 2022 - 09min - 598 - Covert Narcissists Double Down on Their Secret Dirty Work
When we think of the narcissist we visualize the classic, overt iindividual at stage center: so charming, perssuasive, over-confident.
The other type of narcissist is the covert. Coverts are alway under cover; they fly beneath the radar. They appear to be mee. We see them blending into the background like a chameleon. They are full of compliments. They ask us questions that make us look very smart.
Covert narcissists are very sneaky. They are focused on finding individuals who will help them rise socially and in business as well. They recognize that you are a great "catch." that can be used to build theire image and give ghem a higher status in the society. The Covert treats you like royalty---Anything you want, I'm here for yu 24/7. This is so appealing to most people you say to yourself: "What a selfless kind person this is?" "Finally, someone I can trust."
Times moves forward but the nature of the covert narcissist does not change. You are being betrayed and keep making excuses for the narcissist's vile projections, humiliations, unrealistic demands.
The marriage/partnership has lead to psychological chaos and become very ugly
The covert is a chronic liar and completely lacks empathy.
At a point of awakening you decide that you will be true to yourself, separate from this non-relationship and move forward along you own pathways of individuality, self initiation, creativity and rediscovering your true, authentic self.
Click below to view my current paperback book on Amazon. Check out the Search Inside. This book will provide you with the tools and stratagies for healing and resotration after a relationship with a covert narcissist.
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Tue, 09 Aug 2022 - 09min - 597 - Covert Narcissist - Secret, Ultimate Dissembler
Covert narcissists are incapable of forming and maintaining genuine relationships. A dissembler is a person who conceals their real feelings or intentions.
The covert is so secretive and clever that the victim remains unaware of what has happened to them. Some of these individuals blame themselves for the deceptive, manipulative behaviors of the covert narcissist.
Learn to recognize your self blame. This can be part of an ingrained psycholgoical pattern of thinking and feelings about yourself that is negative. Some of those who marry or partner with covert narcissists come from families where is a narcissistic mother who was incapable of love, attachment, and warmth.
Begin to change your patterns with the ccovert narcissist by putting ourself first. Get the rest and sleep you need and deserve. Nourish yourself with quality food, organic if you can. Move and exercise in the way that works best for you. Spen time with Nature - friend and teacher and the source of great beauty. Pay close attention to your intuition which always reveals the truth to you. Discover your own form of meditation. You decide what opens the doors to being calmer, more comforable with yourself, enjoying your own company the the full use of your many unique creative gifts.
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Wed, 03 Aug 2022 - 10min - 596 - High Level Narcissists Don't Awaken from Their Delusions of Grandeur and Omnipotence
We have a growing population of high level narcissists. Our narcissistic society gives them a huge pass especially if they hold wide and deep swaths of influence and power.
Don't try to wake up a high level narcissist from their slumber of intractable delusions and extreme self entitlement. They will scream in your face,, shame you mercilessly, punish you with endless, vile projections.
The high level narcissist has been lost in the desert of non reality throughout all of his years. This is particularly the case if he or she is the golden child. From the beginning this kid ws selected as the special chosen one who symolized the perfection, brilliance and promise of his parents(s).
As a very young child this individual was not required to think of the welfare of others, how his or her presence was having a positive or negative effect upon others. The budding narcissist was given the run of the family, allowed, even encouraged to act out in the most outrageous ways.
The golden boy or girl high level narcissit is so over entitled that their sense of self becomes pathologicall inflated and highly delusional.
There is a time for you of wisdom and insight. You make the decision to separate yourself from the psychological toxicity of the high level narcissist.
You move forward each day with daily self care that you deserve: rest and sleep, good nutrition, hydration, movement and exercise, Nature, Your form of meditation and mindfulness. You deserve great credit for your awakening of your true, authentic, creative selff.
Tue, 26 Jul 2022 - 10min - 595 - High Level Narcissist - A Charming, Notorious Exploiter
Let's begin by looking upclose at the high level narcissist's special brand of charm:
Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: "The high -level narcissist is gifted at radiating immense charm when he/she chooses. Charm is an enrgy, a vibration, a contagious optimistic state of mind. Charm beguiles; it can seduce us to do almost naything. The expression "pouring on the charm" has a truthful ring. It is a magic elixer that sets us soaring."
It is easy for us to get swept up in the enchantmenet of the high level narcissist's charm. We ar quickly under this spell. In this state we forget the poer of our perceptive mind and move along the swift tide of fancy, unfulfilled wishes and the magic of knowing that we can be and have anything we want.
The high level with this magic puts us in a kind of trance that removes our doubts and fears. The high level is making us believe that we can have anything we want.
Those who hitch a ride on the high level narcissist merry go round are in for a rough ride.
Behind closed doors with the high level narcissist the ugly, cruel, vile shadow of the narcissist is revealed in full. You are the recipient of the primitive projections, recriminations, humiliations of your partner, spouse, ex-souse, parent.
There is a time of awakening when you both reconize the true nature of the high level narcissist and knw that you can and must separate from this toxic, abusive individual.
Turn to your wisdom and respect for your unique individuality.
You move forward along your own pathways. Be proud of yourself for your perseverance, psychological and emotional and spiritual strength. What an accomplishment!
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Fri, 22 Jul 2022 - 05min - 594 - Covert Narcissist - Wearing the Martyr's False Self Persona
There is a special kind of covert narcissist wh0 plays the martyr role so convincingly that most people believe he/she is an individual of extraordinary integrity, even holy.
This is part of the covert narcissist's well rehearsed performance. The martyred covert narcissist makes sure that he is seen as indispensable in this role. Members of his group provide him with the narcissistic supplies of adulation, paraise, adoration, veneration.
When the covert narcissist is unseen by others and inside the privacy of his/her home----everything changes: his facial expressions, the tone of his voice, his attitude. He is demanding, demeaning, cruel, verbally abusive and is a master at imposing guilt on family menbers.
No one believes the spouses and children who live with covert narcissists and how abusive and disturbed dthey truly are.
Some spouses decide that they can no longer tolerate this dreadful charade of a marriage.
At a point of insight you make the decision to separate from this non-relationship.
Now you focus on self care: sleep and rest you need and deserve, nourishing food, good hydration, moving at your own pace, the full use of your unique creative gifts. Now you are moving along the pathways of the true, authentic self.
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Sat, 16 Jul 2022 - 08min - 593 - High Level Narcissists - Without Conscience or Humanity
Quoting from my book: Freeing Yourself From the Narcissist in Your Life: "children develop a sense of right and wrong from their parents. In the beginning the young child idealizes his mother and father. As he becomes more separate psychologically from them, these idealized parental images are modified and become more realistic. A conscience develops over time as the growing child is able to take greater responsibility for his impulses and actions. The future narcissist never learns that there are moral and ethical limits (from his parents) to his behavior. His parents treat him/her like an extraordinary being---the most brilliant, creative, talented, handsome, beautiful child---who is not subject to the rules and restraints placed on others. The parental message is: "You are perfect; you can do no wrong; anything goes."
Narcissists spend their time exploiting others. They are always searching their environments watching to see what they can possess, get control,
cheat, take, steal. Their cruelties never cease.
High level narcissists don't worry about the painful, chaotic upheavals they
have created, the lives they have dissembled and upended; the plans delayed and ruined; feelings harmed beyond repair, leaving some with nothing because of their voracious greed.
You experience an awakening, deep insight into the true nature of the high level narcissist. High levels never look back. Don't expect them to be punished for their ignominious deeds
You are taking action and moving forward along your pathways of the true, authentic, creative self. the center of continuous insights and intuitions, the center of your inner wisdom.
Click below to see and purchase and new print book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon
Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a magnificent collection of shows of podcasts and podcasters on every facet of Mental Health. I am honored that my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this great network.
Wed, 13 Jul 2022 - 07min - 592 - Clever Covert Narcissists Fool Almost Everyone
Covert narcissists are the most cunning, conniving and difficult personalities to detect. They are gifted chameleons who are socially skilled and capable of expressing a convincing pseudo empathy. Most people are fooled and disarmed by the covert narcissist.
Here are some examples of how they operate:
1. Covert narcissist use secrecy and stealth to control yoour emotions and weaken you emotionally and psychologically.
Covert narcissists demeans and humiliate you when you are the most vulnerable.
Covert narcissists convince others they are good people who can be trusted and are worthy of your respect.
The covert is obsessed with ultimate control over others, especially those closest to him or her.
Covert narcissists constantly plot and plan how to manipulative and exploit their competitors.
Learn how to recognize the covert narcissist by studying his hidden traits, baits and snares. They play the "good person" or the "martyr" roles to the hilt. They are like fine method actors. If you don't recognize them at first, don't blame yourself. They are so clever and smooth with their psychological camouflafe they are very difficult to detect.
Pay close attention to the intuitive cues that youa re receiving and don't wae them off as irraional or insignificant. Embrace these insights.
Develop a egular practice of psychologal, emotional and nebttak ggriybdubg, This includes your for of meditation, prayer, quiet time iwth Nature and other forms of activity that are calming and restorative. Part of the practice is instilling a sense of firm respect for your personal psychological boundaries. As you move through each day, develop deep appreciation for your unique authentic true self.
Click below to view my current print book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon:
Click below for Shows of Podcasts and Podcasters on every facet of Mental Health on the magnificent Mental Health News Radio Network. I am deeply honored that my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this great network.
Tue, 12 Jul 2022 - 09min - 591 - Covert Narcissists ---Their Secretive Drive to Psychologically Abuse You
Covert narcissists are so verbally adept. Know that when they call, something is up. They rehearse their lines. Actually, they have been deceptive for so long that trying to get the best of you is ntural to them. Covert narcissists can be so subtle that if you tell someons else that you are being worked over by one of thes vipers in didguise, they won't believe you. Don't wait to get agreement or even support from many people. I hear from those who have been chronically victimized and shoved around psychologically by covert narcissits.
Covert narcissists are control obsessed. They are masterful at the art of conversation, especially if they are trying to impress you or if they want something from you. If you catch them off-guard, the conversation can be very ugly. They happily feed off of others.
Dont become a victim of victime of the covert narcissist.
The covert narcissist controls those in his/her golden circle The members of this special group look to the covert narcissist as the leader and authority figure.
Regardless of their charm, their golden words and the favors they do for you, always remember that they are narcissists---cold, calculating, ruthless, completely lacking empath, deceptive, clever liars, very secretive, exploitative.
Put the emphasis on your own psychological and spiritual (as you define it) development. Expand and deepen your creative gifts. Pay close attention to your invaluable intuition; it is the source of truth. You will find individuals who have good characters and are seeking the truth. Be kind to yourself and appreciate your authenticity, perseverance and creativity.
Click below for my papaerback book on Amazon: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
Click below for the magnificent shows, podcasts and podcasters of the Mental Health News Radio Network. I am honored that my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this tremendous Network.
Fri, 08 Jul 2022 - 07min - 590 - High Level Narcissists Cultivate the Perfect Image
High level narcissists create, build and maintain their Image, essential to their delusional reality. The narcissist's outer shell--the elaborate perfect facade is what he/she projects in the world. This image is priceless to him. From the time most narcissists were very small they developed a false sense of self. This can encompass many atttributes: attractiveness, confidence, drive, no sense of limits, the abiity magnetize, manipulate and control others.
I am speaking about a personality that is based solely on the thin veneer of the Image. There is no room here for the inner self that introspects, is capable of lauthentic loving relationships, empathy--the capacity to understand and feel on a deep level what someone else is experiencing, the alleviation of the emotional pain of others through kindness, the ability to perceive oneself clearly--the positive and the negative and make changes that move toward inner personal growth.
The high level nrcisist comes to us as a beautifully wrapped package. When you unwrap it, going through the layers, you find more image not substance. Narcissists convince most people that what they are seeing and experiencing in them is real. They believe and are taken in by the elaborate series of personas . In the beginning of a "relationship" with a high level narcissist most people are dazzled by this person's charm, their powerful personality vibration, the way they are fixated on you. They pay constant attention to you that is flattering and often spell binding. They have been studying youand know how you think and what you most desire. They know your weaknesses and impulsivities. They intend to becom unforgettable to you. High level narcissists are inclined to ossess those whom they choose to be part of their inner circle. We want to believe that we are the most important person in the world to this irresistible individual. We all want to be "the One." That is a deep desire within us as human beings. If we take this elaborate bait and are carried up and give ourelves to the narcissist we are becoming prt of his/her world. We feel giddy with this level of attention and the feeling that we can have anything we want. When we are finally seduced and joing the narcissit through marriage or partnership, we share his/her life on their terms. That's the agreeement. High level narcissists make deal not true relationships.
After being married to or partnered with a high level narcisisist we notice significan cracks in the too good to be true image. There are bursts of rage that come from nowhere. We are criticized for something we didn't do; the narcissist verbally picks at us incessantly, putting us down with cruel comments and hateful glances. We try to please him. Nothing works. What you are experiencing is the dark core of the narcissist behind the mask--that prt of the self that is seething beneath the surface. Those who live with him when the doors and windos are shut are subjected to the Jekyll/Hyde treatment. It is an ugly and frightening experience. Mr. Hyde is out, glowering up close at your face; projecting his psychological sputum on to you. The screaming starts and never seems to end; accusations fly defamations spew; threats charge the air. How much more of this re you willing to take. Hopefull, you can say to yourself: "I will not put up with this raw abuse any longer. I have had more than enough."
This is your moment of awakening, clarity, discernment--the truth! Through this insightful opening you come forth again as a unique individual--independent, strong, grounded. You are moving forward along your own pathways. The winds are at your back; the day is fair and clear.
Click below to view and purchase my print book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon:
Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a tremendous group of shows: podcasts and podcasters on every facet of Mental Health. I am deeply honored that my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcas is on this magnificent network
Mon, 04 Jul 2022 - 08min - 589 - Divorcing A Covert Narcissist - Prepare Yourself for a Psychological and Emotional Marathon
Divorcing A covert Narcissist is replete with many challenges: psychological, emotional, financial.
I have great respect for those who have been married to covert narcissits and are now facing the battles, the subterfuges, psychological ambushes, the deep cruelties that are involved in divorcing a narcissistic personality. Particularly with the covert narcissist, this is a thorny set of issues. The overt grandiose narcissist, so obviously self absorbed, over the top, boorish, loud, in your face is obvious. We know who we are dealing with.
Divorcing any narcissist is highly problematic. Divorcing a covert narcissist is complicated by the believeable phony personas that they use so skillfully to make most people think that they are individuals of fine character, deep caring, kind, fair, empathic.
Those who are divorcing a covert narcissist have had a tough time througout the marriage recognizing the true nature of their marital partner. So successful is the facade worn by the covert. This is one reason why partners hesitate to divorce these individuals since they spent years rationalizing that their spouse was a good preson and they were to blame for everything that went wrong with the marriage. It can take decades for a non narcissistic partner to recognize that he or she has been psychologically and emotionally abused by these highly psychopathological individuals.
It is important to understand the covert narcissist's cold, aggressive thinking. They do everything possible to wear you down, to break you emotionally, psychologically and financially.
They are determined to make you the villain, the uncooperative one, the person who is psychologicallyimpaired and uncooperative.
The covert narcissist is determined to rattle your nerves at all times by calling or texting you, even late at night.
The covert applies constant stress and pessure by refusing to negotiate or settle the divorce. They are known to drag out the process. This allows them to make you weaker and therefore to manipulate and control your feelings of fear and desperation. This is done to get you to capitulate to their will of getting everything that they want.
Getting through the divorce process---Winning the marathon.
Choose an attorney who is your true advocate: knowledgeable, fine character, easily available. The attorney must have an understand of highly manipulative, lying deceitful individuals.
Keep detailed records of all assets including, properties, trusts, bank accounts, cash, investments, expenses.
Know that you are going to get through this long race and that you will be victorious.
Practice consistent self care: good sleep, rest when you can, nourishing food, good hydration, exercise that works for you, expressive writing, time in Nature, creative activities that are rewarding. Spend time with friends you trust.
Give yourself tremendous credit for running and winning the full divorce marathon from a covert narcissist spouse.
Click below for my new print book of Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon
Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a high quality and comprehensive group of shows of podcasts on every facet of mental health. I am honored to have my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast on this magnificent network.
Sat, 02 Jul 2022 - 09min - 588 - Rage and Restlessness - High Level Narcissists' Close Companions
The high level narcissists is always boiling over with rage at some level. One incident real or invented takes him/her over the top and the malevolent projections begin. They are directed mainly at his spouses and children. These unconscious projections cause their recipients great emotional pain. Volley after volley come out of their mouths. They are unstoppable. Fulminating is one of the narcissist's frequen activities. Being the child of a high level narcissist unsettles every nerve in your body. You are living in a war zone. Bombardments of volcanic rage are coming at you. Living under these circumstances as a small child is bewildering and traumatizing.
Along with the chronic rage is the high level narcissist's restlessness. The minds of these individuals are never still. They jump from one activity to th enext, conjuring their plots and plans to make sure that they remain superior to everyone else. When they are not scheming, they ar running about these individuals are never still. They jump from one activity to the next, conjuring their plots and plans to make sure that they remain superior to everyone else. When they are not scheming, they are running about buying, spending acquiring power and material largesse.
You become the newest source of narcissistic supply: adulation, praise, social status. You make them look so good.
There is a time of deep insight for you in rediscovering the pathways of the true, original, creative self. Practice self care each day. You are moving forward with the winds of transformation and creativity at your back.
Click below for my print book: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on the Amazon page:
Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, a comprehensive and excellent group of podcast shows on every facet of Mental Health. I am honored to have my show, The Narcissist in your Life Podcast on this great Network.
Tue, 28 Jun 2022 - 20min - 587 - Beneath the Bravado and Incandescent Charm, the High Level Narcissist is Psychologically Empty
"In nrcissistic personalities the experience of emptiness is most intense...In these cases, emptiness, restlessnesss and boredom constitute...a baseline of pathological narcissistic experience." Otto Kernberg, M.D.
The personalityof the high level narcissist is built on a false grandiose self that begins when this individual is very young. This is particularly the case if he or she is a golden child, that person who is celebrated as perfect by the narcissist parent. This child is like a second coming, a time of triumph for the parent who is convinced that this baby is perfect, amost like a small god. The parent(s) projects his deepest wishes and needs onto this child who in many ways is considered a kind of royalty.
The child is treated differently from the other famil member. Brotheres and sisters of the golden one aren not given the lavish attention, a kind of adoration that is directed at this child.
The chosen child is never corrected or admonished for bad behaviors, rather rationalizations and excuses are made for him.her.
The budding narcissist grows up as a false self with an outward rsona that is boorishly self confident, even cocky. Along with these attributes, this golden child is never wrong, at fault never makes mistakes and takes full advantage of others. When the foundations of the peronality are based on the false self, the individual iis incapable of being psychologically grounded ortrue. The false elf rules these personalities. Beneath the surface in the unconscious of the golden child narcissist, the foundation is rocky, empty, lacking psychic roots or genuineness. This personality is ungrounded in reality and as a result the high level narcissist lives in a state of denial along with the use of many degense mechanisms: projection, repression.
Those who are partnered with, married to or children of these false self narcissists cannot change them since this is a fixed personality constellation.
At a point of insight and due to your research you recognize that you must choose to move forward and leave the narcissist. You decide to choose yourself first, your individuality and your many creative gifts. You will no longer be controlled and intimidated by the faslse selves, the projections, multiple lies, rages, humiliations of the high level narcissist.
Give yourself tremendous credit for your decisions to put yourself first, to heal and restore your true individual self.
Click below for my current print book, Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist on Amazon.
Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network, an excellent series of shows by podcasters on every facet of Mental Health. I am honored that my show: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this magnificent network.
Sun, 19 Jun 2022 - 16min - 586 - Aggressive High Level Narcissist Plays the Role of Tyrant with Spouses, Ex-Spouses, Children
Aggressive, controlling, tyrannical, demanding, peripatetic---This kind of overt narcissist is menacing, especially if you are married to or partnered with them. Infamous, brutal tyrants from history remind us of these venal, dark, predatory high level narcissists of present day.
Caligula, Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, Naaapoleon Bonaparte
Absolute control is an obsession with this particular narcissist. They are dictators who don't accept your individuality, independent thiking, psychological and emotional security.
Verbal threats flow freely when you are dealing with the aggressive predatory narcissist. They never let down, not for a moment. Some of them are like whirling dervishes, moving manically from one activity to the next.
They are drivn to compete without mercy. Everything about them is superior and they let you know how deficient you are.
Being their partner, spose or child puts one in the far reaches of the sympathetic nervous system mode - the deep well of fear, dread, doubt.
Be part of the triumph of your individuality--the original self.
Click below for my currrent paperback on Amazon - Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
Click below for the magnificent Mental Health News Radio Network. I am honored to have my show on this network: The Narcissist in your Life Podcast
Sun, 12 Jun 2022 - 09min - 585 - High Level Narcissists Double Down on Their Deceits and Exploitations
High Level Narcissists crowd our world today. They ar spouses, ex-spouses, relative, bosses, co-workers, spiritual mentors, acquaintances. Our society rewards narcissists handsomely with praise, adulation, celebrity and social status. The high level narcissist's raison d'etre is winning.
High level narcissists weave grand visions of success that are designed to lead them to stashes of power, prestige and control. Winning electrifies the narcissist; it is the engine, the fire that keeps him/her going.
High level narcissists are often big picture virtuosos who leave the details and hard work to others. They take advantage of their assistancts by underpaying them and overpromising while they carefully maintain their elite lifestyles.
Above all, the high level is deceptive in all of his relationships and transactions. He bends the truth with automatic ease.
Some narcissistic dreams go astray. When the ride gets bumpy or the high level whimsically decides to change course, offices are closed, employees are dumpted without warning, bills, loans and leases are left unpaid. Many are left in severe emotional and financial pain. The high level narcissist is unmoved. He doesn't lose sleep over his debacles. He steps forward and pivots toward his next grand project.
Protect yourself from becoming enmeshed in the narcissist's destructive web. Learn to identify the highlevel narcissist.
Remember who you really are. Respect your personal values. Practice self care each day: rest, sleep, nourishing food, hydration, unedited writing, your special music, your creative activities, Nature's beauty, use of your creative gifts.
Click below for my print book on Amazon, Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist:
Click below for the great Mental Health News Radio Network of shows: podcasts and podcasters. My show The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is on this Network:
Tue, 07 Jun 2022 - 09min - 584 - A Narcissist Cannot Be Your Friend
You can wave to them, speak with them at work, have brief social interactions---but narcissists cannot be your friends. Friendship requires trust, time and empathy. Many of us keep giving narcissists more chances despite their self self absorbed, manipulative, deceptive behaviors. Narcissists can be very charming and compelling. They learned early to become a kind of method actor at pretending taht they cared about another individual. This skill serves them very well. Narcissists always want something from you. They are seeking narcissistic supplies: property, valuable social/business connections, monetary largesse. With a narcissist it is all take and no give. You have been discarded by the narcissist and they think nothing of moving on with someone else. You don't deserve this kind of treatment.
Put your energy into authentic relationships where there is a balance of attention, genuine communication and commitment. You deserve to have friends who respect your individuality, care about your feelings, listen, give you their time and encourage your dreams and creativity and with whom you can be spontaneous, silly, laught, playful, creative, innovative---be your true self.
Click below for my print book on Amazon: Recovering and Healing After the Narcissist
Click below for the Mental Health News Radio Network. This is a magnificent group of podcasters on every facet of Mental Health. I am honored that my podcast: The Narcissist in Your Life Podcast is one of the shows on this Network:
Sat, 04 Jun 2022 - 03min
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