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- 43 - How Not To Be Emotionally Secure
Really emotionally secure people don't assume things have to go well. Neither do they assume that something is bound to be 'a disaster' So what's their secret?
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Mon, 11 Apr 2016 - 01min - 42 - Forget about 'believing in yourself'
Here's a thought I think you'll find helpful. You don't have to think about believing in yourself when you do believe in yourself and you don't have to try to be positive when you are positive.
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Thu, 07 Apr 2016 - 01min - 41 - Let Sir Roger Bannister help you now
Ever heard of the 'Bannister Effect'? Before 6 May 1954, it was thought 'impossible' to run a mile under four minutes...
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Sun, 03 Apr 2016 - 01min - 40 - Why you are beyond criticism
Does someone keep criticising you? Relentless criticism wears you down and if you've been prone to low self esteem then you may have found yourself internally agreeing with the critic.
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Wed, 30 Mar 2016 - 02min - 39 - Never give up
Never give up! Determination and perseverance make for more successful and ultimately happier lives.
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Mon, 28 Mar 2016 - 01min - 38 - Why you should be successful
Have you ever felt you didn't 'deserve' success? You didn't feel able to 'push yourself forward' in life?
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Thu, 24 Mar 2016 - 01min - 37 - Be bold, take action
"If you don't make mistakes you don't make anything"
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Fri, 18 Mar 2016 - 01min - 36 - What is your success?
Here's a question: What does 'success' mean to you? If it fits with what other people assume is 'successful' then that's fine..but maybe it doesn't and that needs to be fine too...
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Wed, 16 Mar 2016 - 02min - 35 - How to be successful
Low self esteem cons you into feeling like you are 'a failure'. But to be 'a success' we need to get beyond simplistic notions of 'success' or 'failure'.
Why?
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Tue, 08 Mar 2016 - 02min - 34 - Stop fear of failure from wrecking your life
Do you sometimes fear failure too much to even try things? Fear of failure is closely linked to fear of rejection and the dread of being thought poorly of.
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Thu, 03 Mar 2016 - 01min - 33 - How to stop being too nice
So we've talked quite a bit about the risks of being too nice.
So what are we to make of it all? Well, if we are not to be taken advantage of at work or in relationships, becoming more assertive will help.
Watch this tip on video on our blog here: http://bit.ly/1PEJRaw
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Thu, 11 Feb 2016 - 02min - 32 - How to avoid devaluing yourself
Last time we saw how the snake had made life difficult for itself by becoming too nice. This time I want to look at how people respond to too much niceness.
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Thu, 07 Jan 2016 - 01min - 31 - What the snake can teach you about being too nice...
The snake was vicious, snarling, and dangerous. He terrified the villagers, biting the children and scaring all the adults. But sometimes he felt lonely and craved companionship.
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Thu, 24 Dec 2015 - 02min - 30 - Try emergency thinking
Consider this...
If you were delivering life-saving mouth-to-mouth on someone in public, you'd be totally focussed.
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Tue, 22 Dec 2015 - 02min - 29 - Are you giving others a chance?
Do you remember my client John from a few podcasts back? Who couldn't bring himself to pursue his dream of opening a small hotel in Spain because of what people might think?
Listen on to find out what happened.
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Wed, 16 Dec 2015 - 01min - 28 - How to be yourself
People say "be yourself" don't they? But they never say how.
Firstly, remember it's human to mimic other humans...
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Fri, 11 Dec 2015 - 01min - 27 - Why people do - or don't - like you
'We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.'- Ethel Barrett
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Fri, 04 Dec 2015 - 01min - 26 - Is your imagination making you feel horrible?Wed, 02 Dec 2015 - 01min
- 25 - Disapprove of others' disapprovalThu, 26 Nov 2015 - 01min
- 24 - What do people really think of you?
I've noticed that people who are overly concerned with approval assume that other people will think them 'a terrible person' or 'a loser' if they say or do something that isn't somehow right...
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Wed, 25 Nov 2015 - 01min - 23 - What YOU think is right
Peer pressure can make us go against what we truly know to be decent and civilized behaviour.
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Thu, 19 Nov 2015 - 01min - 22 - You're not in the business of mind control, are you?
You may have spotted this, but anxiously seeking approval is often an attempt at trying to gain and keep a sense of control.
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Tue, 17 Nov 2015 - 01min - 21 - Please yourself! No, really...
Constantly seeking approval means we're perpetually worried that others are forming a bad opinion of us.
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Thu, 12 Nov 2015 - 01min - 20 - What would happen if you spoke your mind?
Some approval seeking is inevitable of course - after all, we all need friends.
But if we are led through life doing what we've come to believe is 'expected of us', then, in a way, we cease to exist, to live, and be real.
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Tue, 10 Nov 2015 - 01min - 19 - Do you care too much about what others think?Thu, 05 Nov 2015 - 03min
- 18 - Reinventing yourselfTue, 03 Nov 2015 - 01min
- 17 - Are you going to pay forever?Fri, 30 Oct 2015 - 01min
- 16 - Are you being blackmailed?
Continuing on our topic of self forgiveness, think whether you've found it hard to forgive yourself because other people have had trouble forgiving you.
Consider: Are they using this as psychological blackmail with which to manipulate you?
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Wed, 28 Oct 2015 - 01min - 15 - Is self forgiveness a problem for you?Thu, 22 Oct 2015 - 01min
- 14 - Why perfectionism wrecks self esteem'If only my nose was straighter...then I'd be confident and happy!' 'If only I earned ten thousand more a year...then my life would be good!' 'If only I could be exactly the same as Bob...then I'd feel great about my/himself!'
Have you ever thought like that?
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Tue, 20 Oct 2015 - 01min - 13 - Square peg... round hole?
If you feel inferior, imagine for a moment how you'd need to be to feel great about yourself.
What would you need to look like, to own, to be doing?
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Thu, 15 Oct 2015 - 01min - 12 - Are you really being you?
It's so freeing when you give yourself permission to be yourself.
No one has written on his tombstone: "Here lies Ralph; he was quite like John."
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Tue, 13 Oct 2015 - 01min - 11 - How to stop feeling inferior
We can know we're inferior in some ways without this making us feel bad.
So here's what to do if you find yourself feeling inferior to someone...
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Thu, 08 Oct 2015 - 02min - 10 - Are you comparing your inside to others' outsides?
Do you think that perhaps the people you think of as the 'best' also have people that they feel inferior to?
Here's one way around this trap...
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Tue, 06 Oct 2015 - 01min - 9 - Are you comparanoid?
Let's face it, most of us compare ourselves to others.
Mass media beams in the finest looking, richest, and most talented people into our lives 24/7.
This creates the illusion that we 'know' all these beautiful, clever, younger, athletic, rich, able people.
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Thu, 01 Oct 2015 - 01min - 8 - What makes up solid self esteem?
We've been talking a lot about low self esteem, but we really need to know what makes for solid self esteem. After all, if you don't know the destination, how are you going to get there?
Watch this tip on video on our blog here: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/blog/what-makes-up-solid-self-esteem
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Tue, 29 Sep 2015 - 01min - 7 - Are you sucking the satisfaction from success?
Is there any chance you feel like this sometimes?
'If it's not perfect then it's a total failure!'
In my years as a therapist I've found this is a very common approach to life taken by people with low self esteem and general anxiety.
Watch this tip on video on our blog here: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/blog/are-you-sucking-the-satisfaction-from-success
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Fri, 25 Sep 2015 - 02min - 6 - Will you please be fair to yourself?
Low self-esteem makes us magnify failures and personal faults.
It also makes us minimize or completely discount successes and personal strengths.
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Wed, 16 Sep 2015 - 01min - 5 - Are You Spreading Bad Stuff About Yourself?
In this podcast I'll tell you one thing that almost every person I've treated for low self esteem does (including our friend Joy from my last podcast), how to understand it, and how to fix it in your mind.
Watch this tip on video on our blog here: http://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/blog/are-you-spreading-bad-stuff-about-yourself
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Wed, 02 Sep 2015 - 02min - 4 - Joy's Self Esteem StoryWed, 19 Aug 2015 - 01min
- 3 - What are the signs of low self esteem?
Contrary to popular belief, healthy self-esteem doesn't mean loving yourself no matter what you do.
Shame, guilt, and self-reproach do have a place if we behave badly.
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Fri, 14 Aug 2015 - 01min - 2 - But what is low self-esteem, really?
Please take a moment to read this next sentence.
Low self-esteem is a false perception of oneself.
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Thu, 13 Aug 2015 - 01min - 1 - What causes low self esteem, anyway?
There are more theories about self esteem than there are leaves on the tree outside my window, but if there's one thing I know after 15+ years of helping people with low self esteem, it's this:
Low self-esteem almost always results from how we are conditioned by other people.
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Tue, 11 Aug 2015 - 01min
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