The Relationship Blueprint: Unlock Your Power of Connection

Send us Fan Mail Sleep problems rarely start in the bedroom. They start in the stories we tell ourselves about worth, productivity, and whether we’re allowed to slow down. I’m joined by Kathryn Nicolai, creator of the world-famous Nothing Much Happens podcast, longtime yoga and mindfulness teacher, and author of On the Street Where You Live. Together we unpack why so many capable, caring people lie down at night and suddenly feel unsafe in their own minds and bodies. Kathryn shares how gentl...

Send us Fan Mail Anger has a strange superpower: it can make us feel strong in the exact moment we’re most likely to damage the relationship we care about. We sit down with Jill Wolf, an Imago therapist and faculty member, to unpack what anger is really doing in the body and why it so often fails as a communication strategy even when the complaint is valid. We talk through the biology of anger management and emotional self-regulation: how anger can act like an anesthetic for physical a...

Send us Fan Mail Addiction can make you feel like you’re watching someone disappear in slow motion, and we wanted to create something that feels honest, practical, and full of hope. I’m joined by Maureen Bryan, an addiction specialist and relationship therapist, and her son James Bryan, who’s been clean for over eight and a half years and now works as an addiction counselor and sober coach. Together, we talk about what recovery really looks like when you’re living inside the fear, the guilt, ...

Send us Fan Mail Your mind isn’t the enemy, even when it feels like it. We sit down with Gregg Bossen from Atlanta to unpack how Internal Family Systems (IFS) turned decades of inner chaos into something he can finally live with and lead. After years of therapy and a painful marriage ending that sent him into anxiety, insomnia, and a frightening spiral, Gregg found a different approach: stop fighting the voices and start listening to them. Gregg breaks down IFS in clear, human terms: the exi...

Send us Fan Mail Ketamine is one of those words that can stop people cold and for good reason if all you’ve heard are headlines, overdoses, or “Hollywood drug” stories. So we slow it down and get specific: what does ketamine assisted psychotherapy look like when the goal is not just symptom relief, but helping a couple actually reconnect when they’re locked in defensiveness, blame, and the same painful loop? We’re joined by Jayne Gumpel, a seasoned couples therapist trained in Gestalt, Imago...

Send us Fan Mail When relationships falter, many couples seek help without understanding what makes therapy truly effective. Dr. Kathy MalcolmHall joins the Relationship Blueprint to reveal the four research-backed common factors that determine success in couples therapy, regardless of approach. The conversation opens by contrasting individual therapy with couples work, examining how the shift from personal pathology to relational understanding creates powerful healing opportunities. "Most t...

Send us Fan Mail What if the recurring conflicts in your relationship aren't about incompatibility but instead signal that your unspoken agreements need updating? Bob and Wendy Patterson, married for 44 years and pioneers in relationship therapy, introduce the revolutionary concept of relational contracts that could transform how you connect with your partner. Drawing from their personal journey through power struggles and miscommunications, the Pattersons reveal how unconscious agreements f...

Send us Fan Mail Ever watched your teenager struggle with what comes next after high school? The pressure to choose the "right" college major or career path can be overwhelming for young people—and equally stressful for the parents trying to guide them. Brian Eames, a certified Birkman consultant, reveals how this powerful personality assessment can transform how teenagers approach their futures. Having worked with students from high school through their twenties, Brian shares fascinating in...

Send us Fan Mail Michele Naudé, Imago therapist and faculty member from South Africa, shares profound insights about the parenting journey, with special focus on single parenting and the constant balance between struggles and celebrations. • The concept of being a "good enough parent" rather than striving for perfection • How showing up consistently, being warm and reliable creates safety for children • Understanding that every interaction builds our children's "imago" - their blueprint for ...

Send us Fan Mail Discover the importance of creating a shared vision for relationships and how it can enhance emotional intimacy. Sophia Slate joins us to discuss practical insights for couples seeking to clarify and establish their relationship goals. • Exploring the concept of relationship vision • Discussing why a shared vision matters for couples • Steps to write and articulate your relationship vision • Understanding the value of differences in relationships • Cr...

Send us Fan Mail Join us for an inspiring episode as we celebrate the joy of welcoming new life into the world with the birth of Baby Jonah Gray. This episode is a heartfelt discussion on the journeys of parenting, the innate challenges that come with it, and how our past shapes our present as parents. We dive deep into the tapestry of family dynamics, reflecting on the teachings and strategies shared by parenting expert Marcia Ferstenfeld. As we recount the profound experiences of par...

Send us Fan Mail This episode dives into how understanding polyvagal theory can profoundly impact our ability to connect in relationships. Hayley Hoffman, an Imago therapist, explores the importance of safety, co-regulation, and practical strategies, encouraging listeners to cultivate curiosity and playfulness to navigate conflicts and enhance connection. • Understanding polyvagal theory and its implications for relationships • The role of safety in thriving relationships • Explo...

Send us Fan Mail This podcast episode explores the complexities of love and relationships, focusing on lifelong intimacy rather than one-day celebrations. Equipped with practical advice from Dr. Harville Hendricks and Dr. Helen LaKelley Hunt, listeners learn how to cultivate lasting love through communication, removing negativity, and celebrating shared experiences. • Discussing the deeper meaning of Valentine’s Day in long-term relationships • The significance of managing expectations...

Send us Fan Mail This episode focuses on the often-overlooked topic of menopause, featuring Jessica Ames, who shares her personal journey and insights into how hormonal changes can affect women's lives and relationships. It discusses the importance of informed care, recognizing symptoms, and advocating for better health support for menopausal women. • Jessica reflects on her own experiences with menopause • The 2002 study on hormone replacement therapy and its implications ...

Send us Fan Mail This episode delves into the profound complexities of grief within relationships and how couples can support each other through challenging times. Through Allison Dragony’s insights, listeners learn about the importance of open communication, understanding neurodivergence in emotional responses, and creating safe spaces for dialogue when navigating loss. • Exploring the impact of business loss on personal relationships • The importance of connection during grief ...

Send us Fan Mail Discover how embracing anger can transform your relationships in our latest episode of the Relationship Blueprint. We've invited Adela Moldovan, a distinguished therapist from Romania, to share her profound insights on the complex ways anger is socialized in children and its impact on adult relationships. Have cultural norms led you to suppress your emotions? Adela reveals how societal expectations often discourage girls from expressing anger and pressure boys to hide their f...

Send us Fan Mail Join us for an enlightening conversation as we kick off the second season of the Relationship Blueprint with a fantastic guest, a seasoned clinician and co-creator of the "Connected Parents and Thriving Kids" course. Together, we unravel the profound influence of childhood experiences on our adult lives and relationships, and the promise of understanding our past to forge healthier futures. We dive into the concept of "upriver prevention," an inspiring metaphor that highlight...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wondered why our New Year's resolutions fizzle out despite our best intentions? Discover the underlying factors that can make or break your goals as we explore the nuances of clarity, motivation, and accountability. Together, we'll examine how viewing your objectives through a relational lens can uncover unhealthy ties with yourself or external influences. Ask yourself why change is necessary and re-evaluate past methods to unlock the true potential of your aspirations. ...

Send us Fan Mail Have you ever wondered how your personal contributions shape the dynamics of your relationships? Join me as I recount my transformative experience with the Imago Relationship Theory, a journey sparked by an unforgettable appearance from Dr. Harville Hendrix on Oprah. This episode serves as both an invitation and a promise: you'll gain invaluable insights into nurturing healthier connections by understanding your own role in relationship dynamics. Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. ...

Send us Fan Mail Join us for an illuminating conversation with Maureen Brine, a leading figure in addiction recovery and Imago Relationship Therapy. With over three decades of experience, Maureen opens up about her personal journey, exploring how growing up as an adult child of an alcoholic and being a mother to a son in recovery has shaped her unique approach to healing. Maureen shares her belief that interventions are profound acts of love, underscoring the critical role of family in the re...

Send us Fan Mail Peace advocate and imago therapist Orly Warhman shares her unique perspective on life in Israel amidst ongoing conflict. With a son serving in the military reserve and a daughter organizing a Woodstock Peace Festival, Orly's family embodies the duality of life in a war-torn region—balancing duty and the the desire for peace. Discover the profound personal narratives as Orly discusses the emotional toll of living under missile threats and how her family's efforts aim to bridge...

Send us Fan Mail In this conversation, Colleen Kowal and Rebecca explore the intricacies of communication in relationships, especially during the holiday season. They discuss the importance of setting intentions, understanding perceptions, and practicing effective communication to foster deeper connections. The dialogue emphasizes gratitude and appreciation as vital components in nurturing relationships, while also addressing the challenges of genuine communication. The episode concludes with...

Send us Fan Mail Unlock the secrets to a deeper, more fulfilling relationship with insights from Rebecca, a celebrated relationship expert and educator. Ever wondered why the initial spark in love fades over time? Join us as Rebecca unravels the mysteries behind why we often feel we’ve chosen the wrong partner, highlighting the chemical reactions and past experiences that drive our attractions. This episode is a must-listen for anyone grappling with the universal challenges of maintaining lov...

Send us Fan Mail In this conversation, Colleen Kowal delves into the complexities of relationships, focusing on the dependency paradox and attachment theory. She discusses how our emotional needs shape our relationships and the importance of understanding attachment styles. The conversation highlights the impact of relationships on our health and well-being, emphasizing the need for attunement and connection. Through real-life examples, Kowal illustrates the dynamics of anxious and avoidant a...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when the political landscape shifts dramatically, leaving some in celebration and others in despair? Reflect on the emotional rollercoaster of the 2024 election, where Kamala Harris's defeat and Donald Trump's victory marked a pivotal moment for many, including myself. I share my journey from optimism to disappointment, navigating through meditation and self-reflection to grasp the deeper emotions at play. This episode isn't just about politics; it's about unders...

Send us Fan Mail Can meditation truly reshape the way you react to stress and conflict? Discover how understanding and managing emotional reactivity can transform your relationships, especially during high-stress periods like elections and holidays. In this episode of Relationship Blueprint, we promise to unlock the secrets of connection by exploring societal pressures and personal expectations that often lead to potential conflicts. Learn practical strategies to incorporate meditation into y...

Send us Fan Mail Can conflicts in relationships actually be signs of belonging rather than incompatibility? Join us as we welcome Maya Kollman, a master trainer from the Imago International Training Institute, who shares her transformative journey of embracing Imago therapy. Inspired by Dr. Harville Hendrix’s insights on an Oprah episode, Maya reveals how this approach reshaped her understanding of relationships, turning struggles into opportunities for growth. Through her personal story of o...

Send us Fan Mail Ever wondered how to hurricane-proof your relationship? Welcome back Michelle Bohls, a sought-after expert on relationship dynamics, who shares her wisdom on how to remain connected and reduce reactivity when life's storms hit. Dive into the world of "relationship hygiene" and learn how daily practices like expressing gratitude can fortify your bond. Michelle also sheds light on managing the mind's negative biases to prevent our "grumpy brain" from taking the driver's seat in...

Send us Fan Mail In this conversation, Colleen Kowal and Michelle Bohls delve into the intricate relationship between money and personal relationships. They explore how childhood experiences shape our beliefs about money, the impact of a scarcity mindset on happiness, and the importance of open dialogue in couples. The discussion emphasizes vulnerability and understanding as key components in navigating financial discussions, ultimately highlighting that our relationship with money is a refle...

Send us Fan Mail Linda Lewter joins us for an eye-opening conversation on the impact of cultural and historical influences in counseling and mental health. With roots in a family dedicated to community service, Linda's transition from accounting to imago therapy provides a unique perspective on career evolution influenced by upbringing and exposure. Her story is not just about personal growth but also about the broader implications of how early life experiences shape our professional journeys...

Send us Fan Mail Summary Dr. Wendy Patterson, a specialist in Imago therapy, discusses the importance of relational contracting in relationships. She explains that implicit and unconscious contracts often form in relationships, and it is crucial to bring these agreements to the surface and evaluate their effectiveness. Patterson emphasizes the need for a growth mindset and the willingness to adapt and change contracts as individuals and relationships evolve. She also highlights the importan...

Send us Fan Mail In this conversation, Sophie Slade, a renowned therapist and expert on sex, discusses the importance of sex and intimacy in committed relationships. She shares her personal experience of overcoming challenges in her own marriage and how it inspired her to write a book on satisfying sex for committed couples. Sophie emphasizes the need for effective communication and vulnerability in discussing desires, fantasies, and fears with a partner. She also explores the impact of stori...

Send us Fan Mail You can’t heal what your body still protects. Pain that won’t budge. A mind that understands the pattern but can’t change it. Relationships that stay stuck because your nervous system won’t let you soften. We wanted a conversation that goes deeper than advice, so I brought on my longtime friend Tanya Colucci, a myofascial release therapist and coach, to talk about what actually helps when “trying harder” isn’t working. If you’ve ever wondered whether stress, trauma, and emoti...

Send us Fan Mail A toxic relationship can feel like love, adrenaline, and destiny all at once — and that’s exactly why it’s so hard to leave. In this episode of The Relationship Blueprint, Coco Kowal sits down with Dr. Stephen Paul Edwards, PhD in spiritual counseling and author of The Venus Fly Trap, to unpack the real mechanics behind toxic relational dynamics: childhood conditioning, shame, emotional shutdown, and the way we chase intensity when vulnerability feels unsafe. Stephen shares a...

Send us Fan Mail Addiction does not just hurt the person drinking or using, it ripples through every relationship around them. We sit down with Suzanna to talk about what happens after the dramatic part is over: you leave treatment, you go home, and you still have to live inside your feelings. She shares how betrayal and anxious attachment helped ignite her alcohol use disorder, and why “if you loved me you’d stop” misunderstands how addiction turns alcohol into emotional survival. We also d...

Send us Fan Mail Most relationship conflict isn’t a lack of love, it’s a lack of structure when emotions spike. So we do something different here: My husband, Kevin, and I sit down and actually demonstrate an Imago Dialogue the way we practice it at home, using two chairs, a clear appointment, and one topic. You’ll hear how we regulate first, why we begin with appreciation, and how “knee to knee, eye to eye, heart to heart” changes the entire tone of a conversation before we ever get to the h...

Send us Fan Mail A lot of people hear stories about alcoholism and still think, “If it’s destroying your life, why not just stop?” We get it. That question makes perfect sense until you’re the one waking up more sober than you fell asleep and feeling your whole brain scream for the one thing you promised you wouldn’t touch again. We’re joined by Suzanna, who shares what it’s like to have alcohol as your drug of choice when it’s everywhere, normalized, and easy to hide until it isn’t. She wal...

Send us Fan Mail What if the love you want isn’t something you find but something you build, moment by moment, with the person right in front of you? We sit down with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt, the co-founders of Imago, to chart a practical route from the highs of romantic love through the grind of the power struggle into a third stage they call real love. Their promise is bold and grounded: when couples practice dialogue, zero negativity, and empathy, fantasy gives way to conta...

Send us Fan Mail A tender, unflinching story can change the way we think about healing. Destiny joins us to share how early childhood sexual abuse, grooming, and years of anxiety shaped her sense of self—and how therapy, faith, writing, and the quiet weight of a small dog helped her find safety again. We set a strong container with trigger guidance and then move with care, connecting her personal truth to a wider landscape of accountability as global headlines revisit systemic exploitation. W...

Send us Fan Mail Ever felt yourself shrink in a relationship even while you’re thriving at work? We dig into the hidden scripts that push women to overgive, stay likable at all costs, and walk on eggshells—and we show how to replace those scripts with boundaries, evidence, and dialogue that actually connect. Psychoanalyst and couples therapist Dr. Kerry O’Reilly joins us to name the silent messages many of us absorbed as girls: be agreeable, don’t be too much, earn approval to feel safe. Tho...

Send us Fan Mail What if sobriety is only the first chapter of healing? We sit down with Dr. Jana Wheeler, a psychiatric and wellness nurse practitioner, to unpack how mental health care—thoughtful assessment, smart medication, and steady therapy—can turn fragile recovery into a grounded, connected life. From pediatric roots to lifespan psychiatry, Jana’s path shows how compassion and science meet to support kids, teens, adults, and older adults with care that actually fits their lived experi...

Send us Fan Mail Love rarely breaks on differences; it breaks on our inability to make space for them. We sit down with Dr. Raluca Anton—psychologist, author, and Imago faculty member—to unpack why couples often share the same core needs but use opposite coping styles to get there. One partner finds safety in structure and planning, the other in freedom and exploration. When those worlds collide, fights about schools, money, or schedules are rarely about the topic. They’re about nervous syste...

Send us Fan Mail We explore the hidden costs of emotional labor and how unspoken expectations drain couples, then map simple ways to share the load with clarity, compassion, and practice. Andrea Dindinger returns with practical scripts, the “emotional leader” idea, and her Loop Breaker course on ending repeat fights. • defining emotional labor and why it’s exhausting • naming transitions and creating simple homecoming contracts • turning complaints into wishes and using soft startups • avoid...

Send us Fan Mail Therapist Kim Mackay-Pearson brings deep wisdom and compassion to grief counseling, helping individuals navigate loss while discovering pathways toward healing and hope. Kim creates safe spaces where people can honor their pain, reconnect with themselves, and reimagine life after grief. • Kim's journey into grief counseling began in middle school when selected for a program teaching children about death • Hospice work allowed Kim to witness more peaceful, caring end-of-life ...

Send us Fan Mail How do you respond when your child comes out as LGBTQ+? For many parents, this moment arrives without warning, triggering confusion, fear, and countless questions. Through Heather Hester's powerful story, we discover that this journey doesn't require perfect understanding—just an open heart. Heather never expected to become an LGBTQ+ advocate. Coming from a conservative evangelical background, she was completely unprepared when her 16-year-old son came out as gay. What follo...

Send us Fan Mail What if everything you thought you knew about relationships was missing a crucial piece? That's the revelation Dr. Banu İbaoğlu Vaughn had despite years of clinical psychology training. "There comes a moment in each relationship where the pain of childhood comes to the surface, and that's what you wrestle with," she shares, recounting the transformative insight that changed her 25-year marriage. This episode introduces the powerful concept of "relational literacy" – the fund...

Send us Fan Mail Therapist Andrea Dindinger reveals how the invisible mental and emotional labor in relationships can create disconnection and resentment when not acknowledged. She shares practical strategies for couples to identify, discuss, and redistribute this hidden workload. • "Invisible work" includes mental load of remembering details, planning, and coordinating that often goes unnoticed but creates exhaustion • The powerful phrase "I need you to think with me" invites partnership wi...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when depression isn't just in your head, but in your relationship? Certified Imago Advanced Relationship Therapist Trish Sanders takes us on a deeply personal journey through the landscape of depression, connection, and healing in this captivating conversation. Drawing from her 20+ years of clinical experience and her own marriage, Trish reveals how depression creates profound disconnection—even when lying next to someone you love. "When depression is in your be...

Send us Fan Mail Are you struggling to understand your partner's seemingly perplexing behaviors? The mystery might lie in neurodiversity – the natural variation in how human brains function. In this eye-opening conversation, Imago therapist Ian Tomlinson brings his unique perspective as both a relationship expert and an autistic man diagnosed at 53. With warmth and candor, he dismantles harmful myths about autism while offering practical wisdom for couples navigating neurological diffe...

Send us Fan Mail When betrayal shatters trust in a relationship, the cultural script is clear: there's a victim and a perpetrator. But what if we've been thinking about affairs all wrong? Master Imago therapist Gene Shelley guides us through a profound reframing of infidelity that moves beyond blame and judgment. With decades of clinical experience helping couples navigate the aftermath of affairs, Gene offers a compassionate perspective on what's really happening beneath the surface when so...

Send us Fan Mail What happens when the spark fades? That question haunts couples across all life stages, from newlyweds to empty nesters. In this illuminating conversation with Nikki, a dual-certified Imago therapist and sex therapist, we uncover the delicate interplay between emotional connection and physical intimacy that shapes our relationships. Nikki dismantles common misconceptions about sex therapy with warmth and candor. Forget awkward demonstrations or uncomfortable scenarios—this i...

Send us Fan Mail What does it mean to mother ourselves, and why might this be one of the most important relationships we'll ever develop? Dr. Nedra Fetterman joins the Relationship Blueprint podcast to explore the profound impact of our earliest experiences with caregivers and how these shape our internal dialogue throughout adulthood. Dr. Fetterman, a psychologist and Imago faculty member, shares her personal journey of growing up with a teenage mother who, despite physical presence, was em...